Thank you so so so much to Bamberlee for editing this chapter!
So sorry for the delay in updating! I went back to work this week and it's been pure insanity. To make it even better, I'm having issues with my wrist AND I had a bee infestation of literally 9,000 bees by my pool. So please enjoy this chapter and I hope you're all having a better week than I am! The next update will hopefully be much sooner!
Thank you SO SO SO much to everyone who reviewed!
Tobias's head hits the wall.
I'm shoved to the side, and Eric's roar echoes in my head once he has a hold of him. Even in the dark, their struggle is well matched, but ultimately, Eric has the upper hand. He's larger, stronger because he was planning to attack, and quicker. I watch as Tobias's head hits a jagged section of the wall, once, then twice, and his groan only fuels Eric on further.
He grabs him by the collar of his jacket and yanks away, dragging him into the sliver of light. The burst of blood gushes, but it's unsatisfactory to Eric.
"Where is she!?"
Eric snarls at Tobias, and I watch, as this version of Eric blossoms in front of me. It's clear he's powerful, and in the dark hallway, he is terrifying. No wonder the members were shrinking away from him, and no wonder Tobias had warned me to stay away.
Eric pushes him back, and it's like he's toying with him. He makes no real move to attack, simply goading him until he'll snap. "I said, where is she Four? Where is her fucking army?"
"I thought you knew. Aren't you tracking them?" Tobias wipes his cheek, and he stares down Eric carefully. He looks a little dazed, but he downplays it, shutting his eyes to gather himself for a split second. "You said you had a handle on it. Now you need me to give you the answers?"
"Oh, you don't have to give them to me. I'll get them out of you one way or another." Eric smirks, and Tobias moves a moment too late.
Eric's fist connects with his side, and before he can do much more, there is a rush of dark shoving past me. The yelling is loud, bouncing off the walls and echoing over and over. It takes me a moment to figure out it's Jason. Rylan. Jeremy. The woman from the dinner who was wearing the black dress. They head right for the fight, delving in between Eric and Tobias, and they work to pull them apart. Jason and Rylan take hold of Eric, yanking him back, and he does his best to shake them.
"He's helping her!" Eric hisses, and Jason nods. He's got Eric by the arm, but their struggle is evident. If he lets go, Eric won't stand still. "He trained her fucking army. I knew it! I knew you were up to no good. I couldn't figure out why we could never quite find them and now I know. It was him."
"Okay, okay, but you can't kill Four. You want him alive." Rylan does his best to stand in front of Eric, and his expression is panicked. "You can't kill him, you promised us you'd wait until you had real proof that he's involved. And uh, now you have it, but Max will be really mad if he doesn't at least get some paperwork on this."
Tobias stays silent.
I catch a glimpse of his expression as Jeremy and the woman hold him, and she frowns at the blood on his face.
"Why would you help her, Four? Is this true?" She asks, and her disdain is clear as day. "You really want the factionless to take over?"
"No." Tobias shakes his head, and he looks at me. Regret is all over his face, but it does little to pacify Eric. "That's not at all what I want."
"Sure." Eric snaps, and then he glances over at me. His gaze is livid, and it only intensifies when his stare falls to my neck. "Your army attacked Everly over and over. Even with Johanna being alerted to what's going on, your little friends still kept fighting."
"She's helping too." Tobias admits lowly, and he looks at me. "She's not…Johanna met with Evelyn a few times. She was willing to help feed them if it meant changing for the better. She doesn't want anything bad to happen but there are casualties with any war. You know this-"
He doesn't get another word out.
He gets the brunt of Eric's rage, really meant for Landon, or maybe the both of them.
Jason and Rylan fail to hold him back and the fight is so loud, eventually someone from the training class wanders over to see what's going on.
"Are you uh, you're okay?"
Jake swings his feet on the back of the truck, and his stare slides over me. He takes in the dark dress, the flat shoes, and the dot of blood on the back of my hand and he makes a face. "Everly?"
"I think so." I turn to look at him, and honestly, I have no clue how to answer.
The past few days were a blur of excitement, starting with Landon attacking me. Walking along with him had been a mistake, but I had no choice. In the darkest part of the night, I wanted to believe there was something good in him. I wanted to believe he had a reason for joining Evelyn and a reason for thinking I was an idiot. Maybe I was an idiot. Maybe I was too trusting, too hopeful that he'd see what he was doing, and most definitely, too naïve to realize he was never going to think much of me.
I was hopeful for a lot of things these days. May had given me hope that Eric cared about me, and even though our phone call suggested otherwise, he proved it in person. I hadn't planned on sleeping with him, but I felt like it was meant to happen. Those hours, dark and warm and endless, were something I had never experienced before. He wasn't gentle, nor did he profess his love, but it felt like he was trying to show me how he felt, because he couldn't say it.
I caught every sigh of my name, every slow, purposeful touch, and every nudge in my direction. I'd awakened in his bed, ate lunch with his friends, and felt like the rug was pulled out from under me when he attacked Tobias right in front of me.
I couldn't figure out what to call him.
He wasn't Four, but he really wasn't Tobias.
I saw this when Jeremy ripped him away, and his eyes met mine. It felt like I was seeing who he really was, and that was someone who had lost their way.
In Amity, someone would take him in. May, or maybe even Jerry, even my own mother. They would see the aching hurt behind his stare, the wild gaze when he realized he was trapped, and they'd try to protect him. He didn't fit in anywhere, just like I didn't belong in Amity. Amity wasn't my ultimate dream, but Dauntless was a whole different world where I wasn't sure I belonged, either.
I hadn't been in Dauntless long enough to know if I'd fit in here, but I wasn't going to get the chance.
Max appeared as Eric was wiping blood from his own face, and he sternly instructed them both to knock it off. He paused when he saw me standing there, and his expression turned pensive as he told Four to follow him to the infirmary. He then instructed Jake to walk me out of Dauntless, to the trucks, and Eric's protest started a whole slew of other arguments.
It was agreed I'd wait with Jake and Karl, and Eric would arrange a ride home for me.
Max stared for a minute, warm and not at all displeased that I was here, but the situation at hand was all over the place. Eric was rabid at the thought of both Tobias being involved and that I was leaving on terms that weren't his. Jason looked disappointed. Rylan was trying to figure out how to change Max's mind and he kept repeating Amity wasn't safe and Max knew it.
Only Jeremy looked bored, and he shoved Tobias along with little interest.
"It's uh, weird to see you here. I'm a little embarrassed, actually." Jake confesses. "Everyone has been giving me shit about being from Amity. I feel like I have to prove myself over and over. Sometimes it gets to be so much that it's like, I just see red. I never felt like that back in Amity."
"Do you miss it?" I pull my feet up beneath me, and off to the side, Karl talks with a few of the guards. He's dressed in the same workout clothes Jake is, and the two of them seem immense. Jake isn't a small guy by any means, but Dauntless has made him lethal. "May has new ducks. She made one a tiny witch hat to pass out candy in."
"Oh man, I wish I could have seen that. I don't miss Amity, but I miss the treat trail. Did Zander dress up?" He looks at me, and for a second, it's like he never left. "Tell him hi. I was thinking of him the other day. Someone here fell off their bunk and I remember how you said he would fall out of your bed when he was really little. Is he still glued to your side?"
"Sometimes. He's eased up a little bit, but he's obsessed with Dauntless. He likes the soldiers. My mom made him a uniform like theirs to wear." I watch Karl shoot the shit for a minute longer, and he flashes me a blinding grin when he sees me looking in his direction. "Is your initiation hard?"
"You have no idea. I feel like you gotta earn your spot here and even then, it can be gone in a second. One mistake knocks you down in the rankings. One day you're on top, and the next day you're trying to claw your way back up. It's been rough." He sighs, but he smiles. "But there was no way I could stay in Amity. I wouldn't have been able to live there. I couldn't take it much longer."
"Yeah, I understand the feeling." I smile, because I was living my own decision to stay in a faction that wasn't mine. "I probably should have picked somewhere else. I think I'm about to fail our initiation."
"How?" Jake is shocked, but I don't get the chance to explain.
Eric comes storming around the corner, with Jason and Rylan hot on his heels.
"How's your head?"
I stare at Four curiously, and I decide this is who he really is. Tobias doesn't suit him, neither does the cracked skull and the zig zag of stitches. He stares at me like he's not sure if he can trust me, and I ignore the irony of the situation.
I'd only been taken down here because Max wanted to talk to me, and he had come down to talk with Four. I wondered what Max thought about this whole situation, or if Four's mistake was one of unforgiveable magnitude.
Eric seemed to think so.
He'd done a number on Four's head, but it wasn't completely awful.
I was taken downstairs, deep into the faction. Their infirmary was far different from ours; the lights were a blinding white, the lobby had dozens of chairs as though they were prepared for an onslaught of patients, and the receptionist was busy. She looked up as I walked in with Jake, and told me Max was waiting for me. She directed me to head back and to the left and stared while Jake said goodbye. He got the hint. He quickly flashed a big smile, made me promise to tell Zander he was alive, and disappeared into the darkness that was Dauntless.
I tried to follow the directions I'd been given, but the infirmary was a maze of rooms, offices, and beds. The hallways went in a square, giving way to other sections. An area for x-rays, an area for bloodwork. A section labeled Maternity. A section labeled Intensive Care Unit. A door that read Supplies. I paused to glance into one of the rooms, an exam room, and I ducked away just as a group of nurses strolled by, cheekily commenting on the slow night.
Minutes later, I lucked into finding Four sitting in an open area of beds, and the nurse helping him is the same one from the dinner. She doesn't immediately notice me, but he does. He looks over at me, and his expression is miserable.
His cheek is bloodied where he'd wiped at it, and the nurse who did the stitches hovers nearby, making small comments about how he's lucky Eric didn't do more damage. Four doesn't seem to agree. He winces with every breath, but he downplays his discomfort when she returns. Her dark black scrubs are sharp and wrinkle free, and her hair is chaotic. She eyes me as I walk over, presses her lips together, and firmly instructs Four not to move. She then knots the black string, cuts it, and passes him a cup of something to drink while informing him his lip would heal just fine.
She tells him she'll be right back, and her gaze slips over me once more as she gathers up her paperwork and barks at someone to come grab it.
"It's fine. I'll live. For now," Four answers, and he looks past me. I know he's looking for Eric, but he's not here. He's outside the infirmary with Jason and Rylan. They'd explained Max wanted to talk to me before I left, and to follow them. Eric was silent the entire way down here, a step ahead of me, and I wondered if he didn't always get his way. "Why are you down here?"
"Max wants to talk to me," I stand in front of him, and I move to the side when the nurse returns. The name on her scrubs reads Arlene, and she eyes me again. "I don't know why, but they said to come with them."
Max isn't in here anymore.
I saw him for only a moment, announcing he had to take a call, and he told me to stay by Four.
"He's going to ask you about Evelyn and her army. About my involvement. Why Eric didn't know. He knows he's been talking to you. He's the one who approved Eric's plans to keep an eye on Amity." Four shrugs, and Arlene takes his temperature. He glares at her, but it has no real affect. She moves on to ask if his vision is blurry, and his answer is a thin no.
"So this is my fault?" I ask, feeling a wave of confusion, and he shakes his head. He winces, then stops and accepts another cup, this one filled with water. "I told Eric about Evelyn. I told him about the factionless army."
"Yeah," Four holds my stare, and he swallows down the drink in one gulp. "But you didn't tell him about me."
Max is about as intimidating as Jerry.
I don't get the same lethal vibe that I got from Eric, not even the vibe I got from Jason and Rylan. They were chaotic and cheerful, but I knew they could hold their own. Even Four seemed like he could take Max in a fight.
Rather than just another violent soldier, Max reminds me of someone who would enjoy a slower pace of life. He walks with me –leisurely, and he keeps his arms behind his back. He occasionally slows even more to let a few members pass, and it's clear he's well respected. They smile and nod hello, then continue on their way. I hear a few whispering about Eric attacking Four and how Lauren is pissed she has both classes now.
Max comes to a stop when we get to the large, open area, and a good distance behind us, Eric watches.
His stare is sharp –lethal and precise—and glued to me. He doesn't smile, he doesn't blink, and he stays far enough back that Max can't tell him to go back and check on Four.
Which he already had.
Twice.
With a smile on his face, almost like he was reprimanding two small children.
Eric refused, and instead followed behind with Jason and Rylan, and waited to see what Max wanted.
"I'm very sorry about what's happened here today. Our faction prides itself on handling things directly. Sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. Our intention is never to involve those who aren't part of this." Max pauses to tell a hurrying Chad hello, and he looks at me. "You are aware of how someone becomes factionless, are you not?"
I nod.
"And you're aware of the harm they pose and why forming an army of factionless could prove to be a threat to our system?" I nod again, and he continues, speaking lowly. "You've experienced their violence, and we've been working to fix this. Eric has been personally invested in this project for a while now. Which is odd, because Amity is his least favorite faction. He usually sends someone in his place."
Max waits for me to answer, but I don't know what he wants me to say.
I wonder if he's waiting for me to confess Eric has been showing up to see me.
"I know. I told him about the army," I look up at him, and he silently encourages me to go on. "I told him about Evelyn and Landon and the attacks. He was there for one of them. He was there when Colton attacked me."
"I met Colton not too long ago. Rather unpleasant man." Max looks over at Eric, still in the distance, now with his arms crossed over his chest. "I can promise you we are working to keep peace in Amity, but Johanna doesn't always agree with our methods. She prefers compromise over violence, and unfortunately, the factionless don't agree with her."
"Four said she's helping them, too. I didn't know that. She said she kicked Landon out of Amity, but it's worse that he won't be there. At least while he was there, he had to pretend to fit in." I tell Max this, hoping he'll understand the urgency of the situation.
He doesn't seem too worried.
"Are you going to kill Four? Because I didn't tell Eric he was involved?" I try not to look at Eric, but I can feel his annoyance from here. "I didn't think he was that important. He just…I heard he was training them, but he seemed so unhappy. I only saw him a few times and the last time he was there, he mentioned they were getting out of control. He said Evelyn's plans weren't what they agreed upon. I saw him leaving more times than I saw him there."
I wait for Max to respond, and I wonder if he really will kill Four.
I wasn't from Dauntless, nor did I live here, but even I understand what he did was frowned upon. I couldn't imagine how he could stay and train the initiation class, when he'd been leaving to go direct another army.
One that could potentially attack here.
"I'm sure he wasn't happy. From our talk, he agreed to help with certain terms, and she took his offer and ran with it. He said the original agreement was to help them learn to fight, but it spiraled out of control when she realized what an army is capable of. Now, helping the factionless isn't punishable by death, but it's also not rewarded. Especially when you consider the circumstances." Max pauses, and his eyes flash to Eric right as he smiles. "Tell me about Coulter. How did you get so close to him?"
"Eric?" I look over at him, and he knows Max is talking about him. He juts out his chin, and he grinds his jaw down as he watches. "I just…I bumped into him in Amity one day. Then I saw him again, and I don't know. Things just happened. He knew I got attacked and he was the only one who helped me stand up to Landon. He showed me how to punch him."
Max cracks the barest hint of a smile at this.
"Did you tell anyone else about Landon?"
"I told my friends and…" I hesitate, because I'd planned to tell Johanna and I'd never really gotten very far with this. Though if she was helping the factionless, it was unlikely she'd have done much to help me. "Others knew. My parents, but they didn't believe me. My brother, and he offered to help. I told May and she hit him in the head the last time he came for me. I don't know, I guess maybe I didn't tell the right people. Eric said he would help me. He said you guys were watching the faction. I didn't want to say anything at first because my dad helped serve them dinner, but he didn't understand what was going on. He didn't know what they were planning. Eric kept saying Dauntless was watching and I guess I thought they would get to Landon first."
"We were watching. We still are. Harrison has been there almost every day. Eric has half the control room on it. We've sent soldiers out to patrol daily, and surprisingly, a few have talked to Landon. He was warned to stay away from you multiple times."
I stare at him, and I cross my arms to mirror Eric. "Do you know Evelyn has the serums? The ones that went missing."
"We know. It pains me to say this, but she's more dangerous than you're thinking." Max seems to have all the answers he needs because he smiles. He examines me intently, his stare lingering on Eric's jacket, and I have the feeling he's been watching Eric as well as the factionless. "As much as Eric would like to keep you here, with everything going on, I am asking that he takes you back to Amity. You're to stay there, in an attempt to keep our cover. If Four fails to show up for the next meeting and you aren't in Amity either, they may grow suspicious and flee. We'd then lose any lead we had."
"I'm supposed to go back and pretend like nothing happened?" My eyes widen, but he nods.
"You're to continue on just like normal. I'll assign a few soldiers to stay around your house, and to keep an eye on you and your family. If you're approached by one of the factionless, we'll be close by."
"This doesn't sound safe at all." I protest, but it dies when I consider I haven't seen my father yet. "I understand. I should go back. I need to see my dad."
"From what Harrison was told, he's doing alright. He hit his head on one of the tables in his office. They think the factionless may have attacked out of retaliation for Landon. A young man named Andy was involved."
"Andy?! He's harmless!" I blurt out. "He's in my initiation class."
"Eric said you might fail," Max changes the subject, and I find myself frowning at his casual knowledge of this. "Has anyone ever really failed the Amity initiation?"
"No. I guess I'll be the first," I respond, disheartened as ever. "Maybe…maybe Eric can wave once I join the factionless and their army. At least I'll really have some insider info for you then."
Max doesn't like my joke, but he does look over at Eric. "If you were to fail, it's highly unlikely you'd be made factionless. Or that you'd stay factionless. If you did fail, perhaps we could reward your bravery for helping us. You've given Eric more information than some of the soldiers."
This makes me feel slightly better, though I'm not sure which part.
"Thank you for talking with me. I'll have Eric drive you home, and once he's…convinced of your safety, he'll return here."
"You're welcome," I don't really know what he expects me to say, and I don't have many options.
Dauntless is not my home, no matter how much I didn't belong in Amity. I needed to go home and see my father, and it wouldn't be right for me to stay here while he was hurt.
So I smile, uncross my arms, and follow Max back over to Eric.
His hands are warm.
They find my waist as he helps me step up onto the running board of the truck. When I look at him, his eyes find mine, and he couldn't look less happy.
Despite having found out his least favorite person in the world was helping Evelyn and getting to punch him in the face, Eric is not in a good mood. Max had walked me back over to him, and in the world's most authoritative voice, told him to take me home. It was strange to see someone with more power than Eric, and Eric must not be able to tell him no.
His expression darkened, and he flatly told me to follow him. I don't know if Eric had plans for the rest of our day, but his expression stayed irate, and it only worsened once Jason and Rylan said goodbye.
I find myself reluctant to climb into the truck, and Eric knows it.
"Everly, get in. We have to leave." He sounds exasperated, but it's not aimed at me.
"I just have one question. What if…what if Landon comes back? You don't think he's gonna want revenge for being made factionless?" I pause as my foot slips, and Eric steadies me. He's still not dressed in his uniform, and this somehow makes it all the worse. "What if he kills me this time?"
"He won't." Eric answers harshly, digging his fingers into my waist. "I won't let him. I'll kill him myself if I have to."
He stares at me, grey eyes so dark they almost look blue, and I still have to look up at him. "Do you promise?"
My words echo what I asked him last night in a way, but they also reveal that I've accepted this fate for Landon. His life is not mine to take, but it is Eric's.
Eric made a vow to protect the factions, and Landon falls into the category of doing harm to the factions.
It's not a hard decision for him.
He leans in until his forehead is pressed against my hair, and his nose touches mine. He inhales slowly, and his lips are warm when they brush mine lightly, for just a second. Our night together flashes through my mind, and my eyes close when he nods.
"I do."
If there was any doubt that Eric didn't approve of Max's plan, it's all gone when Eric parks the truck, and sits there. He makes no move to get out, no move to come open my door and help me climb down, and no move to send me back into the Amity faction.
It looms before us, bathed in the slowly waning sunlight, with the occasional member walking through.
For a minute, we sit in silence, until Eric's phone rings.
He answers with all the enthusiasm of a zombie, and his gritted out yes hints that someone is asking if we've arrived.
"Make sure you have the others in place. If anything happens, this is on you, not me, understood?" He hangs up before the person can answer, and he throws the phone onto the seat. "Max wants to make sure I really took you back to Amity."
"Where else would I go?" I look at him, his fingers pressed to his temples and his eyes shut, and he scowls. "Do you have another house?"
"He thought I might have taken you to Erudite." Eric mutters, and he opens his eyes. "I want you to know, this is not my idea. Max and Tori believe Evelyn would notice if you went missing."
"What about Four?" I slide closer to Eric, having spent most of the ride watching him grind his jaw in annoyance. "Are you going to kill him for helping her?"
Eric glances at me out of the corner of his eye, and his lips turn up. "Not today. Maybe in the future. Max wants him to keep showing up so we can find her. It's the least he can do, considering he's been training them. They're sending him in a few days."
"So he would just go and…see what Evelyn says? What if he tells her they're watching her army?"
Eric looks down at me, and he gestures for me to come even closer. "Then I'll kill him for sure. He's already walking a fine line. It's likely he'll be tracked, and with the soldiers watching, there's nowhere for him to go."
I slide over until I'm right next to him, and he turns to face me. "Try to stay away from all of them. I know that's impossible for you, but just go see your dad, go to your class, and stay busy."
"Are you coming back in two weeks?" I dare to look right at him, wondering if he would. He'd already gotten what he wanted, and I didn't know if he thought I had much more to offer. I thought I did, but he might have been in it only so we could sleep together. "Or was last night…"
"Oh, I'll be back in two weeks," Eric answers slickly. "This isn't over. Far from it. I told you I was coming to get you, and I'm going to. Last night was…" he pauses, and he reaches for me, grasping my face in his hands, and smiling. "it was only the beginning."
I smile without thinking, and I kiss him without thinking, too.
My lips press against his, and for one heartbeat, it's warm and slow.
Then, just like he went after Four, he comes after me. My head hits the seat as his whole body crashes into me, and he kisses me so frantically his teeth hit mine. He ravages my lower lip, then moves to my jaw, my neck, and he struggles to get the heavy jacket off. His grunt of frustration mirrors my own, and he comes to a dead stop when his phone rings.
We both pause to look at it, his hands in my hair and his chest pressing me back, and he slides one hand over to pick it up.
The name Daniel flashes across the screen, and he quickly declines it.
"It's no one."
Eric returns to kissing me, violent and vicious, but it suits him.
Our separation is not ideal, nor is it his idea.
I think of this when he finally does get the jacket off, and his fingers move beneath the dress, how despite the tough and impossible exterior he gave off, sometimes, Eric is woefully desperate.
"He's not…he's not actually awake."
My good spirits are dampened the minute I return home.
Dizzied from saying goodbye to Eric, I'd walked home alone. He explained he couldn't walk with me because it would look a little too suspicious, and I hated this. I hated the way his hands lingered, his stare lingered, and his scowl matched mine. I wasn't his equal in any way, but I felt like I'd gotten him to bend a little and leaving him at the truck while I returned to a life I didn't want wasn't fair.
He wanted to walk me home.
His fingers flexed with the itch to make sure I got home safely, but Max's orders buzzed in his ear, and he ultimately was forced back into his truck.
I'd walked through the faction like nothing happened. I smiled, waved, fixed my hair from Eric's rough grasp in it, and it took me until I was halfway to my house to realize my dress was not the one I'd left in. Even more telling, was the heavy jacket and my bare legs.
The weird part was this dress felt right.
I liked the fabric, I liked the color, and I liked how I felt stronger. I still liked the pink dresses and I still would be happy to slide one over my head, but the dark dress felt like no one could mess with me. It was the boost I needed to walk right past a tiny clearing half hidden by trees and shrubs and to ignore the set of eyes there.
They could have been anything. A small child, an animal, even a farmer, having some quiet time during his day, but my instinct told me it was someone watching me. I pressed on, not bothering to even acknowledge them, and I walked inside fully ready to see my father.
Instead, I found my mother looking like she'd been crying, and Harrison.
Neither mentioned my dress, and if anything, Harrison smiled slightly at it.
"Where is he?" I glance around the house, waiting to see some sign of him. I had assumed he was here, or maybe even upstairs, but it hits me that the house is oddly silent. "Where is Dad? They told me he was attacked?"
The silence is thick.
I can almost feel it against my skin, like someone is holding me in place. No one asks where I was, and no one asks me anything. My mother glances at Harrison, then finally at me.
"He's not here. They took him to Erudite. He kept saying his vision was blurry and his head hurt, and I couldn't do anything," she answers lowly, and her voice is fragile enough to snap. "He was attacked last night. Whoever came for him, they knew he was working late. He was helping Andy with something, and… they attacked them both. When I got to him, all he kept saying was how wrong it was that he didn't believe you. Andy is fine but shaken up."
Her words spark a nerve in me, not because my father was attacked, but that he really hadn't believed me. He'd brushed it off saying he knew Landon, and Landon was incapable of such rage.
"Andy was able to give us a description of him. They're still looking for…for…"
"Was it Landon?" I step closer to them, and oddly enough, I find myself standing more by Harrison than my mother. He looks at me for just a second, and his nod is enough to make my head spin. "It was him, wasn't it? You're serious? Has anyone found Landon?"
My voice rises up, and I feel dizzy.
Landon.
Landon was close to my father. He was so close that he had often joined our family for dinner. He helped my father build the deck, fix the patio, string lights. He and Jerry were regulars, almost a silent part of the family. Even when I made the decision to not marry Landon, it was impossible to get rid of him.
But him hurting my father was incomprehensible.
"Do you know where he is?" I look up at Harrison, and there's an odd connection. It might be the dark clothes, or maybe it's the incredibly overwhelming thought that he was part of this family, too. Standing beside me, his dark uniform can hide a lot of things, but not the color of his eyes, the darker parts of his hair, or the same build that Forrest has.
It can't hide the fact that he's so close to my mother, that I have a feeling I've interrupted them.
"This is my fault, Everly. I…I should have been honest with him. I was honest, years ago. But not lately and this just…" My mother tries to say something, but she can't finish.
So Harrison finishes for her.
"He's in good hands. We had him sent to see their head neurologist. He's been saving patients for years. We explained what happened, told him Hank is an important part of the community, and he moved everything around to see him. He should be calling sometime soon for an update."
"Daniel?"
I blurt out his name, making this easy connection about Eric's father, and the strangeness of this chance encounter isn't lost on me.
Or Harrison.
His eyes lock on mine, and he nods.
"Do you know him?"
That question seems to be a good one these days, but unfortunately, I don't.
"I saw a picture of him once." I answer, and the rage and panic tapers down just a little. Eric hadn't spoken highly of his father, but at least he'd admitted he knew what he was doing. "I've never met him."
"Well, that's for the best. Most people meeting him are having some pretty serious medical complications. He's a good guy. Very dedicated to learning everything he can about the brain."
"Can we go see him?" I look at my mother, and she looks at Harrison. They go back and forth, silently, but eventually Harrison tells me no. "Why? Can't you drive us there?"
"They said they'll call Harrison as soon as they have word that he's stable enough for visitors. He wasn't feeling so well on the drive over. They said he fell asleep and hadn't woken up since he got there. I'm sure Dr. Coulter is doing everything he can to help," my mother answers, and I bet it kills her he's not here.
Despite whatever was going on between them, the uneasy tension that often stretched on longer and longer, at some point, she had loved him.
It also had to feel like a failure that she couldn't help him. Her expertise only ran so far, and head trauma wasn't included.
"Where is everyone?" I glance around expecting to see my brothers and sisters, but there is no one here. "Are they upstairs?"
"They're with May. Zander is with Jerry. They'll probably stay the night there." My mother looks distraught, and even more so when Harrison reaches in his pocket. He pulls out his phone, and he answers it much nicer than Eric answered his.
I wait patiently, and two minutes later, Harrison announces he's taking my mother to Erudite, and I am to stay here.
The unfairness of the situation worsens as the night goes on.
I lie in bed, alone, and I scowl at the ceiling.
Harrison and my mom had left hours ago. This was fine, but she has no way of contacting me. She could call me from Harrison's phone, but that would let her know I have one, and I had a feeling he was going to keep that a secret.
They'd left together, Harrison guiding her out of the house and instructing me to lock the door, and I'd watched them out the window until I couldn't see them anymore. They walked along the path in silence. Even though he was taking her to see her husband, I couldn't help but notice they walked closely. Easily. There was no stress to her when she looked up at him, and only pure concern when he looked at her.
His affection was clear, and it was a slap in the face.
Harrison showed up so easily. He wove in and out of Amity like he owned the place. He wasn't uncomfortable or afraid of being seen here, and he didn't bother to try to hide that he knew my mother. My little brother.
Forrest.
Me.
The thought makes me sit upright, and I throw the covers off me. I leave my room before I can stop and decide if I want to know this information, and I run downstairs. The house is empty, a weird sight when I get to the bottom step, and I expect someone to pop out. No one does.
I head to the bookshelf, and my stare flies from book to book. It takes me a few minutes to find the notebook where I'd shoved it, and I take it back upstairs with me. I clutch it to my chest, still expecting someone to poke their head around the corner and ask for something. I make it to the top of the stairs, I pause, and I almost take the book back downstairs.
I don't.
Once I'm back in bed, I open it up, and I resume reading where I'd left off.
The percentages are still there, neatly listed and telling, and they make a little more sense. I'd taken the aptitude test with a bored looking, random guy dressed in dark maroon. He didn't say much, and when I opened my eyes, he was typing frantically and side eyeing me.
"Amity."
He said the word with distaste, like it was bitter. He side eyed me again and kept typing. A brief glance at the screen showed a box for errors, and he quickly cleared it out. It was so fleeting I almost missed it, and at the time, I thought nothing of it.
From what I'd heard, the computers malfunctioned routinely. They were newer, loaded with a fresh update from Erudite, but not always reliable.
"You can go now. Good luck." The guy droned on, and his fingers never stopped moving.
I wondered if my test had shown something else, something he was passing off as a malfunction of a system designed to pick my fate for me.
Still, I had picked Amity. I had chosen to stay here, feeling like I had to. If I went against the faction I most identified with, I would be wrong. Choosing to stay here was wrong, too. Maybe there was no right answer, and maybe that's why Four had decided to help Evelyn. Maybe there was something to be said about not fitting in one hundred percent, though her methods were completely wrong.
I chew on my lip as I flip through more pages, and this time, I recognize a few of the drawings. There is the large open area where I'd spoken to Max, labeled as The Pit. The Chasm, a roaring waterfall that I didn't see but Christina mentioned. A receipt from Clyde's, for two beers, one glass of wine, a turkey sandwich, a rack of ribs, and a plate of chocolate cake. The entire meal comped and Harrison's signature at the bottom, leaving a generous tip. The next page has an invitation to a Leadership Dinner, from years ago, with the name Eden written on it.
The menu.
The seating chart.
A thank you card, for uniting the factions during a time when peace is needed.
A photo of them together: Harrison and my mother, smiling, both dressed up. Her dress is white, his suit is black. She is so young that it looks like me sitting there, and he is young enough that it looks like he's just taken on the role of Leader. He reminds me of Eric, the sharp haircut and the sharper smile, but all I can focus on is that they look happy.
My heart speeds up as I flip further, skimming the pages of proof that I can't look at.
I stop on one that's earmarked, and my stomach drops.
There, in the same style of photo that hung in my father's office, is a picture. It's not of my father and I, but it is.
It is Harrison holding me.
I recognize myself right away, and not just because my name is written to the side. I have on a dress that my mother still had. My sisters never wore it, even though she'd saved it. The sundress is pink: long and ruffly and slipping off one shoulder. My hair is a mess of long dark curls that fall in my eyes, and my smile is bright.
Almost as bright as Harrison's.
Behind us, grinning widely and trying to get in the picture, is Forrest.
I slam the book shut. Then I open it again. Then I slam it back shut, unwilling but totally willing to admit this is why Harrison felt familiar. Why I wasn't afraid of him. Why I wasn't afraid of Eric. Maybe I subconsciously knew the dark uniform, and maybe I subconsciously knew it wasn't something to fear. I associated it with affection, because the man holding me was wearing it.
My eyes start to burn, because it's obvious Harrison loves me. Or had loved me. His eyes are so happy and alive, and he holds me against his chest, beaming at whoever was taking the picture. The very house I live in now is in the background, only confirming that Harrison was here more than he wasn't. I only stare at it until my phone rings, and I keep my gaze on it while I reach for the phone.
I expect it to be my mother, but it's not.
"How well do you know Harrison?"
I ask Eric once he grunts my name and asks if I'm alright. I told him no, I wasn't alright, and he had no good answer for that.
He didn't sound completely alright himself.
"Why?"
"Have you worked with him for a long time?" I flip further into the book, but these pages make my chest hurt. There are all kinds of things stuck in here –cards and letters, a lengthy apology letter for something I don't understand, and a final photo of me and Harrison down by the lake –and all of them more than prove he is my father. The next page is a list of dates, like someone was keeping track of something, and the final date is my third birthday. "How long have you been a leader?"
Eric is silent.
I hear him sigh, and had I not spent the night with him, I would imagine he was in his office. He might be, but I get the impression he's at home, especially when the soft shuffling sound tells me he's sitting in bed.
"I became a leader at eighteen. After initiation. So, six years." Eric's answer is flat and hesitant. "Harrison was a leader before me. I didn't know him until I started working with him."
"What is he like?" I sink back against the pillow, and I wait for him to answer. "Is he…nice?"
"I wouldn't…I suppose he's nice. He's a little out there. He's our lead for battle and tactical planning. Harrison's main job is to train the patrol squads to prepare for battle. All the patrol squads fall under his umbrella of responsibility. Some of the squad leaders worship the ground he walks on, others…find him a lot to handle, though really, he's a brilliant military strategist." Eric exhales again, and I can almost see the look of frustration on his face. "Everly, are you…what about your father? Have you heard anything? Four claims he knew nothing about him being attacked, and he sends his sincerest apologies. You can take that however you want."
I nod, not sure what to think. My impression of Four was that his mother's work had started as one thing, then spiraled out of control to the point where he couldn't stop it. I don't think he had the authority to tell her who she could attack, but my father didn't deserve to get hurt.
Not for any reason.
"I don't know. My mom left with Harrison to go see him and they haven't come back. My brothers and sisters are at May's and Zander is with Jerry. I feel like… this is partially my fault, or totally my fault. I feel like I might never see him again. They said he fell asleep and hasn't woken up. But I also …" I pause, and Eric waits patiently. "I think Harrison might be my real father."
For the millionth time, Eric is quiet.
"I was asking about Harrison because every time I see him and my mom, I feel like they're in the middle of something. Like they have a secret and they're not so careful about it and everyone knows but me."
Eric is still quiet. The only reason I know he's there, is because every so often, there's a tapping of something.
"I found a picture of him and me when I was little and-"
"Everly," Eric interrupts, and there's more than a hint of hesitation in his tone. "I'm not the one who should be telling you anything about him. All I know is he spent a lot of time in Amity, and it was rumored he had a family there but he never said much about it. I never thought anything of it until he asked what I was doing with you."
"He did?" I sit back up, pressing the phone closer. It doesn't put me any closer to Eric, but in some way, it feels like it does. "What did he ask?"
"What my intentions were." Eric's answer is so dry that it makes me smile, despite the solemn events going on. "Why I was going to Amity. Was I bringing you to Dauntless. Couldn't someone else go?"
"Oh," I like this, and I wish I could have seen Eric's face. "What did you tell him?"
"I told him to mind his own business." Eric retorts, but it's good natured. "I told him you weren't happy in Amity, and…I'm thinking you picked the wrong faction. You barely flinched when I bashed Four's head against the wall."
"Yeah well, my encounters with him haven't been all that great. He could have stopped Evelyn before this got out of hand but I don't think he would have. I think he just said it because he wanted me to leave before I could tell you." I think back to seeing him in Dauntless. His panicked plea for me to leave was for his own benefit, not mine. "Do you really think he'll help you?"
"He doesn't have a choice." Eric replies lowly. "He either helps or I kill him. Maybe I'll kill him anyway. Once I have Evelyn, I'll decide what I'm doing with him. He hurt you. Even though he didn't come after you himself, he trained the asshole who did. He let things escalate until he couldn't stop it, and he took no responsibility for it. My job is to make him understand what he's done. And I will. On my terms."
"Does everyone have to agree with you?" I remember someone said they voted on things, and perhaps Four's fate would fall to one of them. "Or can you just…handle him yourself?"
"I can kill him whenever I want. For years, I looked for a reason and now I have one." Eric's voice is a little lighter now, and I can picture him shrugging. I feel a rush of warm appreciation that he recognizes I'd been hurt. "At best, we make him factionless and he can live out the life he wanted with his new family. At worst, I kill him and make an example out of him in front of the Dauntless faction."
"Sounds…intense, but I wish he'd told her to stop. I don't know why he didn't." I pull the covers up higher, settling into bed and praying I don't fall asleep. "Harrison told me your dad is helping mine."
The mention of his dad makes him fall silent, but not for very long.
"He is. When he called in the truck, he was calling to ask if I knew who Hank was. He said the last name was familiar." Eric says all this quickly, then clears his throat. "He told me he'll keep me updated but I haven't heard anything. I'll call you if I do. Or I'll text you, if you're sleeping. Which I'm shocked you're not."
"Yeah well, I stayed up late the other night. It permanently changed my bedtime," I laugh, and to my surprise, Eric snickers.
"You did stay up late. Who knew you had it in you, Amity?" Eric drawls.
"No one. Not even me. I agree, and I think of his oversized bed and how I'd fallen asleep on him. "Are you in bed now?"
"I am. No one is even here taking up all my pillows." Eric sounds like he finds the whole situation hilarious, though the separation makes my head hurt. "You should go to bed. I'm sure when you wake up, your father will be home. And…as for Harrison, just…you could ask him the next time you see him."
"When will that be?" I lie back, listening as the faint sounds from his TV come through the phone. It sounds like he's watching the same show he was when I was there. I didn't really understand the humor behind any of it, but some parts were funny. "When will I see you again?"
"Desperation isn't cute, Amity."
"Then you probably shouldn't have sat in your truck sulking before you left." I point out, and his answer is a low, rough burst of sharp laughter.
"Funny. Go to bed. I'll call you if Daniel has any updates."
"Okay, fine. Goodnight, Eric." I say his name quietly, wishing I wasn't so tired. I wanted to stay up in hopes of talking to him longer, but it sounded like he was going to bed, too. I picture him lying back on his dark pillows, with the phone pressed to his ear, talking to me.
It's a nice image, and I think he agrees.
He says goodnight quickly, but he also says my real name, warm and quiet and oh so familiar.
In the morning, I wake up to an empty house.
I eat breakfast at the island, alone, and I check my phone. The action is brazen, given anyone could come bursting in, but no one does. My brothers aren't here. My sisters don't return. Not even Zander shows up, shrieking to claim the cereal with the marshmallows.
I don't have any new messages, either.
I finish my bagel with zero enthusiasm, and I have no choice but to start my day.
And the next day.
And the next.
One early morning, I sit in Forrest's kitchen watching the snow through the window.
It drifts slowly, coating everything in a world of white, but next to me, Willow is a lovely shade of green.
Despite looking like she might throw up at any moment, she sits at the kitchen table, gently coaxing me to eat breakfast. The irony of this isn't lost on me; she's skinnier looking than the last time I saw her, and she cheerfully informs me her appetite is nonexistent.
But she doesn't care.
She's completely and utterly in love with my brother, and even more in love with the idea that they will be a family.
They are a family, but to her, having a baby with him means a permanent family. I want to smack the idea right out of Willow, her blonde hair cascading everywhere while she pours syrup on a waffle for me, because Forrest is so fiercely in love with her, he'd commit any act of violence to keep her safe. He'd told me this, verbalizing just how much he cared for her, but I wonder if she's still worried.
After years of being factionless, I suppose this could all feel temporary.
"How are you feeling?" I accept the waffle with a smile, figuring I might as well eat. "You look a little…"
"Queasy? I am. Everything makes me throw up. Forrest has started showering the second he comes home. The other day, he was helping someone with the cows and he came home smelling like a weird combination of milk and livestock." She shrugs, and she looks almost apologetic at her next words. "I threw up when he came in the door."
'Doesn't he normally smell like that?" I smile while I take a bite, watching her try not to laugh.
"Funny." Forrest rolls his eyes. He comes clomping down the stairs, and he plops down in the seat next to her. Once settled, he reaches without looking to pull Willow closer. I watch them carefully, noticing Forrest is unusually clean looking, and his hair is pulled back. "I see Amity's finest comedian is here."
"Yeah well, how can I tease you when you moved out?" I smile brightly, and I have to admit Willow's waffles are good. I hadn't slept very well lately. It left me feeling weird and off balance, and pretty uninterested in eating. "Thanks so much for breakfast, Willow. I'm sorry I didn't come over sooner."
"Oh, no worries at all." Willow beams, and she practically collapses against Forrest. She drinks a slow sip of tea, and I recognize the ginger smell immediately. "I know things have been…"
She pauses, and Forrest looks at me when she doesn't finish.
"Have you heard anything?" I ask, hoping he has.
"You're the one with a phone. I haven't heard a word. I even tried to ask Johanna if we could drive out there. I figured I could go to the hospital. I've been there before. We took a whole bunch of deliveries there the other day. They've been having meetings and needed some shit catered. I think Courtney's aunt made some cakes for someone's birthday. I promised I'd be quick, but Johanna said she didn't think they'd let anyone in the hospital."
"I haven't heard anything, either. I was thinking maybe Harrison would call. He took mom there." I say Harrison with a little more emphasis, but only Willow blinks. Forrest shrugs, and reaches for his own fork. "What about you? Did you see him?"
"Harrison?" Forrest takes a huge bite, and it's clear he's stalling. "I see him all the time. He's the one who suggested I open up a bar here. He said he has a business model proven to work."
"I think he owns a bar in Dauntless." I flash back to Rylan saying Harrison owned Clyde's. "Actually, I ate there when I went."
"We heard you got stuck for questioning." Forrest grins. "I see Eric is resorting to petty lies to try and keep you there."
"Who'd you hear that from?"
"Harrison." Forrest laughs, and even Willow smiles. "He was here really early the morning after the Leadership Dinner. I saw him for a minute, he left, then I heard he came back once dad was attacked."
"He did." I stare at Forrest and I wait for him to say more. "Don't you have something you want to tell me?"
"I don't know. I'm not the one who spent the night in Dauntless. How is Eric's apartment? Is it the black dungeon I dreamed it was?" Forrest tries hard not to laugh, but it's useless. "Every time I see him, I just picture someone whose closet has four shirts and they're all the same shirt, perfectly spaced apart from each other. Ten pairs of boots. A rack of guns by the bed."
"Yes, that's exactly it." I roll my eyes. "I meant, don't you have something you want to tell me about Harrison? I found a notebook and—"
"I'm pretty sure you already know the answer to what you're asking me. Hank's not my dad, he's not your dad, and he's not Zander's. It's pretty obvious. Dark haired kids, light haired kids. Some of us are brave, the others are chicken shit."
"Wesley almost had a panic attack the other day when the soldiers showed up." I blink, trying to downplay having the answer I wanted. Somehow, I felt even more thrown off than ever. I'd been wondering for so long now, but having Forrest confirm my theory still feels strange. "He's really our father? What about…dad? What about…how is Zander Harrison's?"
I don't exactly know how I feel about this.
I don't dislike the idea. From the few times I'd really talked to him, I'd always liked Harrison. I felt like I knew him more than I did, and I could see the similarities where I didn't before.
But there's definitely a sting of betrayal, from a few angles.
"Well," Forrest glances down at Willow, and the waffle sticks in my throat. "It's not exactly my story to share, but I know mom and Harrison were together before her and Hank. Harrison planned on coming here or she was going there, and something happened. He was called away for months, and it kept getting extended. They had me, then you, and then…. mom couldn't do it on her own. Hank came along and was willing to step in and the rest is history. There's a gap between you and the others, then a gap until Zander. It's not rocket science to figure out. Everyone in Amity accepts it because no one really cares."
"But Zander is little." I point out like he's forgotten. "He's not…"
"People make all kinds of decisions, Everly. I don't think Zander was what anyone was expecting, and once mom had him, she started drinking the peace serum by the cupful. I think she wasn't willing to admit she wasn't happy, and neither was Hank. If you really watched them, they were at odds more often than not."
"But…"
"They still are. Ever since you started initiation, they've been acting like strangers. Mom seems fine that you don't want to be here, but Hank was personally insulted you didn't excel at child rearing."
I must look startled, because Willow shakes her head, then stops immediately.
"Hank is very nice. He helped my family a lot. He always spoke very highly of his family, including you guys." Willow offers, and her contribution is sweet.
She's not wrong.
He is very nice.
Almost too nice, to have been attacked.
"If I can go see him, do you want to go?" I ask, but I know the answer.
Forrest nods yes, and so does Willow.
"Okay. I'll keep you posted if anyone calls." I sigh into my waffles, and no one pushes for any more info.
Forrest asks about Leif and Wesley and Paisley and Holly, and the conversation takes a sharp turn toward how Zander has been demanding to sleep in their bed, followed by May smacking Landon in the head with a shovel.
To my surprise, May's actions are one of the few things that actually makes sense these days.
Initiation takes a turn for the strange.
Jerry takes over, though his watery smile tells me he doesn't feel right filling in for my father. He has Zander with him, who rudely pretends to not know me, and they both walk around trying to talk to each person and reassure them things are safe. When they get to me, Jerry looks as miserable as Eric did when he dropped me off.
"I'm so sorry, Everly. Have you heard anything?"
"No." I shake my head, and I watch Zander duck behind him, and turn right down the row of plants. "It's been three days. Do you want me to take Zander home? You don't have to watch him. It's nice of you, but…. he's fine with me. Or I can take him to Mable."
Jerry looks surprised, but he shakes his head no. "It's alright. I wanted to do my part to help and really, he's fine. He's been a good distraction. He said he wants to go to May's tonight to see Leif but he's very curious about how many chickens Carole has. I told him it wasn't safe to go over there, but he said his friends did so he could, too. He only comes over to play. He's been staying at Forrest's at night."
His distraught expression stays that way, even as Zander gleefully announces he's found a worm and goes on to kick over the plants he's standing by.
"Does he mean Jason and Rylan? I don't really think he knows what's going on. My mom left in a hurry and hasn't come back yet. I thought maybe someone would try to get ahold of me or Forrest, but he hasn't heard from them, either." I stare at Zander, and he ducks away, sticking his tongue out at me. His loyalty has shifted to whoever will give him the most attention, and that person is Jerry. Forrest had tried to wrangle him away more often, and he managed for a few hours. But the second Willow gave Zander a bath and got him ready for bed, he was already planning his return to visit Jerry. "Zander, come home tonight. We can call your friends and see if they've heard anything."
"Jerry has popcorn," Zander calls out, and the worm is in for a surprise when he flings it across the room. "Do you have popcorn?"
"Uh, sure."
I answer without even knowing if we had any actual food in the house, but my head felt foggy. I was worried about my father, and no news wasn't feeling like good news.
The snow wasn't helping.
I loathed the cold, and I found myself shivering all night, no matter how many blankets I had.
"Are you sure, Everly? I'll bring him home for dinner to you or Forrest. How about that? But if you need anything, anything at all, will you come get me?"
"Of course!" I promise, though his time with me is done.
He turns to tell Zander to stop throwing worms, and to finish making his rounds. A half hour later, he dismisses the class, and sends everyone home promising tomorrow will be better.
It's not.
The blood is everywhere.
For the second time this month, someone stands in our kitchen, dripping blood all over the floor. After Rylan's run in with Carole, we'd worked to scrub the floor clean. My mom must have mopped at some point, and her efforts are ruined as Four winces and another gush resumes. He looks at me despondently, and the only thing I can do is stare back, until Wesley yells that the toaster has caught fire.
"What happened to you?"
I eye him warily, not trusting him any more than Landon. The only difference between them is Four looks genuinely remorseful, and Landon had not.
"Who did this?"
I grab some more paper towels, and I head to the sink to wet them. I have nothing else here that will help him, and even our small clinic won't have anything. My mother isn't home to stitch anything, and I have no intentions of trying to replicate what the nurse in Dauntless had done.
From the sink, it looks like he's hit his head again. There are a few melty snowflakes from his trek over here, but they fade into the gash. It bleeds a little more, and he presses on it to try and stop it.
"Sorry, someone sent me here. They said Eden normally handles this sort of thing, but she isn't here and maybe you could help." Four doesn't look like he wants my help, nor is his sudden arrival welcome. I watch as he gingerly sits down, and I instruct Wesley to make him something to drink. "Eric sent me. I went to find Evelyn, and instead I found Colton, who thanked me for having him tracked."
"Did he attack you?" I add some soap to the paper towels, and I watch him do his best not to answer yes. "Well, no offense, but I think you deserve it. I've been attacked multiple times. He wasn't the worst of them, but none were all that fun."
He nods.
It's slow and painful as he carefully accepts the paper towels. Telling someone they deserved to get punched in the head wasn't normally me, but I have a hard time mustering up any sympathy for him right now.
"I don't disagree with you. He knows that Dauntless is tracking him. He's tried to take it out, but he can't find it. He thinks I sent Jason and Rylan to them, and he came right at me. I held him off for a while, but he got one good punch in that opened up the stitches and then bolted when he heard a noise. I'll be fine, I just have to get back to Dauntless."
"How did you get here?" I sit down at the table slowly, and Wesley hands Four a cup of tea. It's warm and sweet, and Four looks hesitant to drink it.
"There's nothing in it." Wesley tells him defensively. "But if you want something for your head, I could put…some….some…herbs."
"This is fine, thank you." Four reaches for the drink, and he catches me frowning. "I won't stay long. I just needed somewhere to wipe my face off. I have to call Eric and let him know where they are."
"So now you're working for him?" I tilt my head, and I smile at his grimace. "You hate that, don't you?"
"I think I'd rather he just kill me." Four answers dryly, and Wesley looks horrified. "Might have been easier than calling him Sir and reporting my every move."
"Is he tracking you?"
"Yes." Four's answer is quick, and he holds up his phone. The screen is lit up with Eric's name, and he answers it on the second ring with a curt snap. "I sent you their exact location. I didn't see Evelyn. She was nowhere to be found. It was only Colton and he had a few choice words for you."
He turns slightly, and his voice drops when he hisses he doesn't know where she is, and he's sure they could see where he was back in the control room. He argues with Eric, sounding daringly hostile, and it's clear this feud runs deep. He stands up to snap that whatever is going on is a dumb idea, and he only sits back down when he relents that he doesn't have a better plan.
"Why does everyone who's bleeding show up here? Mom isn't even here!" Wesley tries to whisper, scooting closer to me. "Everly, are you fixing his head?"
"I'm not fixing anything. He got himself into this mess, he can fix it." I answer flippantly, and I feel a tiny bit better. Not that he was attacked, but that he seems to be willing to try and correct his mistake of helping the factionless. "He might have messed up but he's got a second chance."
"Hardly." Four interrupts, and he slams the phone down on the table. It's not the shiny new one that I have, but a beaten-up piece of black plastic with a crack on the screen. "Eric will be here in five minutes. They were waiting, and they were about to go look for Colton. I warned him that will for sure blow his cover, so they're coming here instead. Eric has taken your attack and gone full force with it and half of Dauntless is looking for them. I would expect Landon to be dead by the end of the week."
"Seriously?" Wesley looks like he wants to yank the teacup back, and possibly run. "They're really coming here to kill someone?"
"He attacked your sister. More than once. He's lucky Eric has let him live this long," Four answers, but it's tight. "Whatever the case may be, this isn't going to go the way Eric thinks. He's igniting a war he might not be ready for."
Wesley and I stare at him, and in the background, the toaster sparks so loudly we all jump.
"I missed you."
Eric lifts me up, pressing me against my bedroom wall so his hands can snake into my hair. He kisses me deeply, his tongue sweeping across my lips and grinning when I encourage him to go on, and he lets go to take his jacket off. It falls to the floor with a heavy thud, and he laughs when my eyes widen.
"Max still insists you're safe here." Eric hisses, and his teeth find my earlobe. I lean into him, letting him bite and nip at my skin, because for the first time in days, I feel alive. "But I don't think you are."
Eric's arrival was expected only because Four told me he was coming here.
Shortly after Four announced this, his expression darkly annoyed, Eric showed up. He showed up with Rylan and Jason, and they frog marched Four out of the house to grill him on Evelyn while Eric asked how I was. Wesley snuck away to watch Four angrily explain that he needed to have Arlene redo his stitches and groan when he learned she wasn't working this evening. Eric seized the opportunity to walk upstairs with me, and before I could show him the notebook I'd been reading, he kissed me.
Mere days of separation created a slew of emotions, and most of them felt good. He was warm and solid, his leg nudging between mine, and his thigh tensing. His hands were everywhere; they ran through my hair, skimmed down my sides, pressed and touched as if he were making sure I was real. He smelled good, unlike the woods and pine, and more like his own bed, and I realized I had really missed him.
I hadn't let myself think of it, because I'd spent my days in a haze of worrying about my father. Worrying about Zander. Making sure my brothers and sisters were okay, checking in with May and being told to go home and get some sleep. Even my sleep was fractured, broken apart by faint hours when I thought I was sleeping, but I wasn't. The exhaustion was creeping bone deep, until this very moment.
Until Eric reached behind me to untie the soft fabric ties, and my dress spilled off like it was just waiting for him. He pulled it over my head, his own shirt following, and I felt myself slowly come back to life. My breathing hitched when he reached for the zipper on his pants, and he smirked when his fingers found the edge of the pale pink underwear.
My world sparked all kinds of colors when he pushed me back into my own sheets, clouds of white fluffy comforter swallowing him, and he laughed as he shoved it away.
He looked absolutely delighted as he parted my legs, and before I could tell him I had missed him too, he bit the inside of my thigh.
Having sex with him had been an experience, and so was holding his hand. Touching his hair. Tracing the piercing in his eyebrow. Walking in Dauntless with him, just the two of us, dressed alike, was a strange high I wasn't aware existed.
But this, the feeling of his mouth creeping higher, slowly licking and nudging soft skin, might just take the cake.
"I thought of you last night. In the shower," Eric murmurs, and my eyes close.
His confessions were starting to pile up, and I couldn't begin to pick a favorite. This man, so large and strong and unafraid, missed my presence. This wasn't just physical anymore, because he probably could fuck anyone he wanted without much effort. There were bound to be a few girls who wanted him or were willing to overlook the fact that he couldn't tell them how or what he felt, if that was anything.
But here he was, working his boxers down his legs while he licked in the very spot that would make me see stars.
My hands grasp his hair, running through the part and the heavy dose of gel, and his shoulders move. He rises up to get a better angle, and if his fingers felt good, his mouth feels even better.
This is hardly what I expected when Four said he was showing up, but I have no intention of stopping to ask how his day is going.
"I missed you, too." I groan, and his fingers dig into my thighs. The thought of his mouth between my legs would normally make me shove him away. He's closer than anyone has ever been, and the lazy teasing changes when my thighs tighten around his head. "Eric, I…"
I mean to tell him that I'm about to come against his face. It would be embarrassingly fast, but it feels so good that I can't form a complete sentence. He doesn't seem to care. He only moves so he can stroke himself, and my whine turns into me gasping his name, over and over, until I see black. Everything shatters, lovely and dizzy and even warmer, when I feel him pull away to move his mouth to my hip. My stomach. My ribcage.
I open my eyes to him kneeling between my legs, and he bends down to press his lips to the underside of my jaw. He takes one of my hands in his and stretches it above my head, hovering over me for a fraction of a second while he slides his fingers between mine. His eyes skate over my neck, then his head drops.
"They dropped off your dress."
His cheek brushes mine right as he pushes inside me, and the sensation is better than I remember. There's a moment of fullness, a completeness that he must feel too, because his head falls forward. He doesn't kiss me, but he stays there, closing his eyes until I say his name.
"I hung it up in the closet." He half groans this, and the very idea seems to spur him on. Was it the white fabric, soft and fragile and lovely, pressed against his dark uniform? Was it a reminder of our night together? Was it a memory of how good it felt to be wanted, on a different level, every time he reached for his jacket?"
Whatever the case may be, he doesn't last much longer.
A few quick thrusts later, his hips slam into mine, and the headboard hits the wall with a thud. He collapses on top of me with a heavy exhale, and he stays there until his breathing slows down. Mine follows suit. I nudge him gently, not entirely coherent or able to say much, and he falls into the pile of white sheets. Eric smiles sleepily, his own exhaustion fading away as I fumble to pull the covers up, and I reach for him.
I move closer so I can rest my head on his chest. His hand gracelessly moves my hair away, then trails down to my back. I'm dimly aware of him mumbling it was a good thing he locked the door, but I'm too tired to even laugh. I only hope that Forrest keeps Zander, and I decide Wesley will be fine on his own.
I fall asleep against Eric, one of my hands curled onto his chest, and my legs between his.
In the morning, I open my eyes when rough skin brushes against my cheek.
I blink away the heavy pull of sleep to see Eric above me, and he lingers for just a second before he says my name quietly. To my dismay, he is dressed. His uniform is back on, the dark collar smoothed out and buttoned up, and his hair is wet. He stays with his cheek against mine when I say his name, and his smile is tight.
"I'm heading back. Rylan is here."
"You're leaving?" I sit up abruptly, nearly knocking him out of the way. I reach up without thinking, struggling to keep the sheets on me as I yank him back down. I should have a little more self-restraint, but I don't.
Last night was the first night I'd slept without waking up. It wasn't so much that I was exhausted from my night with Eric, but the fact that I'd fallen asleep with him. There was no rush; no hurry to get dressed and attend a formal dinner that we never made it to, and no worry that someone was watching where he was. It felt safe, the two of us hidden away in Amity, and I went to bed without agonizing over how my father was, or if Landon was lurking in my backyard.
It was also the first night I wasn't freezing.
"I have to go back. Max called fifty-six times. Four's called twice. I'm not sure which is worse." Eric mumbles this as his hands cup the back of my head, and he doesn't kiss me. He lets me sink against him, his posture tensing for a split second before he relaxes. "Rylan just texted to say he's almost here."
"Oh." I keep my head pressed against his jacket, letting the disappointment really sink in. "I could walk you out."
"You have to stay here. Max knows I'm in Amity and he knows I'm with you and he's not happy. The last thing I need is him watching you walking me down the middle of the faction." Eric's answer is low, and heavy with displeasure. "If I can, I'm going to Erudite tonight."
His fingers stretch. They scrape down my back, pressing his fingerprints onto my skin, like the mark will be permanent.
"I called to ask how your dad is, but Daniel didn't answer. Camille said he was in surgery."
"Who's Camille?" I ask, and I press my face further into his jacket. He smells faintly like my shampoo, and the thought of him washing his hair with anything out of a pink bottle is entertaining.
"His assistant." Eric answers sharply, and his tone hints this is a personal subject. "I don't know why she wasn't in surgery with him or why she had his phone, but she said he'd call back and he hasn't."
"Do you like her?" I wonder out loud, and this time, his tensing up lasts longer.
His fingers press with a tension that's new, and he shakes his head.
"No."
I nod, because whoever Camille is, and whatever his father is doing, he isn't good with it.
"She's fine. Boring. Too close to him given their working relationship." Eric mutters, and I can tell he's about to leave.
The touch leaves my spine, and he leans down to press his lips to my hair. He stays there, until his phone rings. I can feel it vibrate as well, and he lets it go on so long it stops.
"I'll be back, Amity. It won't be much longer." His promise is soft. He says it the same way he said he'd keep me safe, and he lets go once the phone starts ringing again. "Try not to die."
"I'll do my best." I lift my head away from him, and he smirks. "Tell Rylan hi."
"I won't. Because then he's going to want to come inside." Eric announces, and he scowls when he glances at his phone. "Too late. He said Wesley let him in and can we stay for breakfast."
Eric scowls, and I find myself thrilled that he'll stay for just a little longer.
"Good. I can make you something." I offer, and I move to climb out of bed. I have no clue where he'd thrown my dress, and he looks up with pure disbelief. "What? I can cook something. Or…we have bagels."
"Bagels." Eric repeats, and insultingly, he doesn't look optimistic. "Great. I'll tell Max I was late getting back because we had to stop and get bagels. Sounds reasonable."
I smile when his phone rings loudly, and he lowly informs Rylan they can stay.
They don't.
By the time I throw on a dress and brush my hair and teeth, Rylan and Eric are waiting by the front door. Both are in a deep discussion, and Rylan's no thank you is the last thing he says before he realizes I'm walking over to them.
"Oh look, it's Everly! How funny that you stayed here and so did she."
"She lives here." Eric answers dryly, and he pretends not to hear when Rylan mutters for now.
"Can I ask you something, Everly? I see you are dressed for your day here, in a very…intense outfit." Rylan's attention flashes to me, then Wesley handing him a bagel, then back to me. He eyes my dress up and down, pale and long sleeved and far less fitted than the one Christina brought me, and he makes a face. "I just need to know, who is the target audience for these clothes? Haunted dolls?"
"Rylan." Eric snaps his name in pure exasperation, and he glares at him. "Take your bagel and let's go. We don't have much time."
"Where are you going?" I stop in front of them, and Rylan's dislike of the dress becomes more intense.
"Christian would say the fabric is hideous. Everly, text me your height. I'll have Christian work on a few things. He's making me a suit to wear for my anniversary. Which, if you'd like to come to the party, will be in a few weeks. I'm sure Eric will come get you. And then… not return you to your closet of nightmarish cult wear."
"Rylan, shut up. We're going to Erudite. One of their labs was attacked last night. Max is asking us to meet him there." Eric looks at me, and he holds my stare. "Another case of serum was stolen and it's not good. It means Evelyn is sitting pretty on a serum that will erase the memory of anyone injected with it. Which means you need to stay inside and not get attacked by anyone."
"You think she'd try to use it on me?" I stare up at him and I absolutely hate when he averts his eyes.
He looks at Rylan, and this time, Rylan's scrunched up face isn't at my dress, but at Eric's answer.
"Yes."