start notes—
Even Ladybug wants to know the face behind the Mr. Banana costume.
my tellonym: milkisande
.
banana
we're both slightly crazy,
but you— you amaze me.
.
.
.
"SO even you don't know who the person behind Mr. Banana is!?"
Marinette asked, disappointment evident, as the boy only shrugged. "I only have his costume; sorry, milady." He replied, feeling sympathetic.
But in all honesty, he was feeling pretty confused too.
Chat Noir had stopped by Marinette's after she didn't show up to their meeting place for patrol, only to find her in her room— dressed in pajamas, hair lazily tied into a bun, and the area around her, a whirlwind of papers and pictures thrown around or connected together with string and marker.
It looked like a crazy person's home.
Chat Noir didn't like that his girlfriend was becoming a crazy person..
He glanced up at one of her walls, previously filled with pictures of fashion designs (and pictures of him— something that used to fuel his ego to no end), but now filled with pictures of Mr. Banana; as well as an array of other Parisians who were either crossed with an X, encircled, or marked with a large, red, question mark.
Her computer was open, playing videos of the entertainer, with articles on him haphazardly strewn about the floor.
"Marinette…" he started, carefully, as the girl stared at him with a look that he could only describe as insane. "What are you doing?"
She sighed, exasperated, before suddenly pushing the hero towards one of her whiteboards, where she had written down a large amount of random names. She grabbed a marker, then pointed it at him. "This is a list of all the possible people Mr. Banana is," she started.
He looked at the names.
Sure enough, he was there.
Adrien Agreste.
Understandable, he thought, before looking at the name directly below it.
"Alya Cesaire." He looked up at Marinette, disbelieving, who only stared back at him with equal determination. "You think your best friend is Mr. Banana?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Nobody escapes me," Marinette declared. "Not even my best friend."
"But she's a teenage girl— and Mr. Banana is a middle-aged old man, so…"
Marinette tapped her marker against the board, effectively catching his attention. "Or," she started. "That's what she wants you to think." She looked at the board, eyes wide with suspicion. "We have no idea what's inside that costume."
Chat Noir only looked at her in disbelief, before walking over to the board to read out the rest of the names. "Juleka Couffaine, Kim La Chien, Max Kante, Miss Bustier— Miss Bustier, come on, Mari, this is— Marinette Dupain-Cheng!?"
She only shrugged. "I mean, we've never been together in the same room. Maybe I'm—"
Adrien only walked over to her, concern evident on his face. "Okay, this is going too far," he remarked, before taking the marker from her. "You're going insane. And I don't even understand why you're so set on figuring out his identity, like…"
Marinette beamed. "Glad you asked!"
Ignoring his low mutter that, "I didn't," the girl continued, pushing him back as she flipped the board:
With a huge picture of Mr. Banana, and the words 'HAWKMOTH' written in large, capital, letters.
"You mean to say…" Chat Noir began.
"You think…
Hawkmoth…
Is…
Mr. Banana?"
Marinette nodded somberly (though Chat Noir had no idea how she was staying so serious— seeing that she was proposing something that was almost a complete conspiracy).
"I know you're doubting me, but let's face it." She responded. "Both Hawkmoth and Mr. Banana are completely anonymous to us. We don't know what they look like behind their costumes. And if we go by your description of Mr. Banana, it also applies to Hawkmoth. We can assume they're both middle-aged men."
"So?" Chat Noir argued. "That's not enough evidence!"
"Yes, but there's other clues you're missing." Marinette pointed out. "Mr. Banana barely speaks, and that's probably because he doesn't want us to connect that he and Hawkmoth are the same person!" She argued. "Besides, we've never seen them in the same room; and he hasn't been akumatized either!"
Marinette looked up triumphantly. "I've connected the two dots."
"You didn't connect shit."
"I've connected it."
At that, Marinette refused to acknowledge his presence, as Tikki flew over to the hero. She looked exhausted, and Chat Noir couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
"How long has she been going on with this?"
Tikki sighed. "Alya sent her some conspiracy theory channel two days ago, and she's been like this ever since." She tiredly pointed at Marinette, who was busily grabbing papers and sticking them to the wall.
"Damn it, Alya," he muttered, before sighing.
Suddenly, Chat Noir spoke: "Plagg, claws out!"
He detransformed, only for the kwami to stare disbelievingly at the room. He looked at his owner, before sniggering. "Your girlfriend went a little cuckoo, didn't she?"
Adrien glared at him, before dramatically pulling up his sleeves.
"What are you going to do?" Tikki asked, as the boy took a deep breath.
He narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to save her." He paused, then gulped. "I'll bring her out of the downward spiral she's somehow put herself into."
"How will you do that?"
"By listening to every little conspiracy theory she has so she can get it out of her system."
He frowned. This was more dangerous than any akuma. More dangerous than Hawkmoth, really. He could only handle so much nonsense before he would explode (or worse, get dragged down with her).
But he loved Marinette. And he couldn't let her continue on this path.
Taking a deep breath, and ignoring Tikki and Plagg's concerned looks, he ran over to his probably-insane girlfriend. He exhaled:
"Okay, Mari, but what if my dad was Mr. Banana and Hawkmoth?"
.
.
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end notes—
aka ive been watching a lot of buzzfeed unsolved while drinking and ,, well . i think we ALL want to know what's behind the suit anyway amirite marinette's downward spiral is completely justified! i am also aware that i said angst next chapter but i lied (tho,, check out my she-ra fics if u want light angst hasdfkjs).
i had two specific memes in my mind while writing this: one and two. yes my sense of humor is in the gutter but enjoying urself is what's important so !
thank you for reading! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～