[The IPSA Science Corps Presents]
[jingle] "Kowalski's Invention Vlog!" [ding]
[The following is a recording of the F.A.N.F.I.C.T.I.O.N Antidisclosure project]
WARNING THIS VIDEO IS ORGANIZATION PROPERTY. DO NOT COPY OR DISTRIBUTE OUTSIDE OF THE F.A.N.F.I.C.T.I.O.N DATABASE.
WARNING AUTHORIZED PENGUIN AGENTS ONLY!
[Disclaimer: Only Authorized Penguin Agents, Penguin Academy Cadets, or Members of The IPSA Science Corps (IPSASC) can view this file]
A weird jet-fighter shaped vehicle with inverted wings and two propellers in special housing at the back of the craft. It was floating half submerged in a newly finished secondary pool but didn't appear to be sinking. It was painted the same color as the submarine and had its wings folded like the nearby L.A.S.T (Land Air Sea Transport).
The Camera pans to show Kowalski standing at the end of the pool, "hello fellow scientists and aspiring Inventors."
"it's time for another invention vlog!" Kowalski said, "featuring the Waterjet!"
"really?" Skipper said, "why not the underwater jet?"
"or the depth glider?" Private said.
"or the ocean flyer?" Skipper said.
"It's called the Waterjet," Kowalski said, "because it's a Jet that flies under the water instead of in the air."
[name: Waterjet/WJ-100]
[type: Submersible craft]
[odds of threatening to destroy the entire world: N/A]
[DESCRIPTION OF INVENTION]
The Waterjet is now raised out the water by the gantry crane hanging upside down. The wing were now unfolded as the Propeller props drip water. The two torpedo tubes on the 'cockpit' are now clearly visible as is the lack of any air intakes or jet engines. Mounted on the side of the cockpit is two laser guns. Behind the cockpit a hatch was opened revealing a hidden missile launch platform in a waterproof compartment.
"This is the Waterjet…which is basically an Underwater watercraft in the shape of an aircraft," Kowalski said, "The wings are inverted for smoother underwater 'flight'. The tail section is little more than a decoration with two pivoting Propeller Props."
"this aerodynamic design allows for exceptional maneuverability underwater," Kowalski said, "but more on that later…"
"it has a suit of Underwater weapons including lasers, torpedoes, and a hidden missile launch platform."
"This vessel will revolutionize underwater combat," Kowalski said.
[Workings of the Invention]
Skipper was holding the camera in the back seat while Kowalski sat at the front of the cockpit at the controls. The Camera is pointed upward and pan around showing that the vessel was currently floating near the sandy bottom of the lower New York Bay.
Kowalski turned around, "the propellers propel the Waterjet through the water."
Kowalski loosely grabs onto the control joysticks, "The joystick on the right is for moving the propellers and wing flaps up and down which propels the craft up or down. The joystick on the left turns the propellers left or right which causes the craft to turn in that direction."
Kowalski points to the "reverse' button and says, "the button turns the propellers completely around while activating the reverse impellers at the front…allowing you to maneuver backwards."
Kowalski then points to the "surface" button, "that button causes the propellers shut off and the Impellers on the underside of the wings and body to turn on propelling the craft to the surface."
"this spinning control allows you to directly direct the propellers around in 360 degrees." Kowalski said grabbing said control, "perfect for moving around tight spots or unexpected obstacles."
"because of this no rudders are needed to chance the direction of the craft."
"hidden in the body is the ballast tank, the oxygen tanks, the hydrolysis system which turns H20 into hydrogen and oxygen. The Oxygen is sent to the oxygen tanks the hydrogen is sent to an on-board fuel plant to be converted into fuel. There is also a desalination plant for drinking water."
"now the weapon systems…" Kowalski said indicating a panel above him, "the weapons can be fired from the main controls here…or from the gunner seat behind me."
"Laser actually work great underwater," Kowalski said firing laser beams into a rock.
"also comes equipped with torpedoes," Kowalski said firing a torpedo at the same rock.
"plus, a hidden missile launch platform," Kowalski said, "for ship to shore, ship to ship, and ship to air launches."
"now we could show you the tests…" Kowalski said, "but I'm going to show you this…"
[testing of the invention]
THE AQUATIC REVENGE OF DR. BLOWHOLE...
Date: Classified
Time: Classifed
Location: Southern Ocean
(Skipper's POV)
The Penguin's Mach 4 Sub sped through the frigid Antarctic waters. An arctic ocean camouflage Waterjet was secured to the underside of the Sub a special airlock obscuring the cockpit. The Underwater drones were ready for deployment in their external launch bays.
I sat at the captain's stations while Rico stood at the control station, Kowalski at the navigation station, and Private at the Sonar stations. Rockgut and Nigel sat in the passenger seats behind us. Rockgut was reading a magazine bored waiting for action. Underwater drones 3 and 4 were waiting by open torpedo tubes waiting to be loaded.
"We're approaching the enemy Skipper!" Private said.
"Mr. Rico! Get ready for engagement," I said, "go radio silent on my mark…Now!"
Rico shut off the Comm system the Component status screen flashing a warning message, "Warning! All communications including distress signals are disabled. Radio silent mode activated."
"Release external drone bays!" I shouted as Private loaded drones 3 and 4 into the torpedo tubes."
"Underwater drones deployed," Kowalski said.
"Rico fire the torpedo tubes!"
"torpedo one!" the computer announced as the drone fired out.
"torpedo two!" as the final drone.
"The drones have been configured to follow the waterjet in formation," Kowalski said.
"Kowalski! Rico! Get ready for waterjet launch!"
Kowalski and Rico rushed to the open Cargo Bay hatch as Nigel and Rockgut took their places at their stations.
"Move out!" I shouted.
(Kowalski's POV)
Rico and I jumped down into the cargo bay and rushed to the center of the bay. I hit a button and two panels in the floor flipped open revealing the cockpit of the waterjet. The cockpit flipped open I took the pilot seat while Rico took the gunner seat. The Cockpit sealed shut around us as the airlock alarm went off. The docking system detached with a hiss as the Waterjet descended away from the Sub. The Underwater drones quickly formed up in formation around the watercraft. Once we were safely separate from the Sub, I hit the "start" button and the Waterjet surged forward in the water followed closely by its robotic escorts.
Radio silence was still in effect, so we reached no feedback from the Sub.
I looked at the sonar display as we approached the large red dot.
Rico tensed up squeezing the weapon controls tighter. I grabbed the direction joystick as the enemy target came into view. It was a large dolphin shaped craft with impellers which made it slightly more maneuverable than the waterjet.
"Always get the good stuff," I muttered.
"blowhole," Rico spat.
"greetings Kowalski," blowhole mocked over the comms.
"Blowhole," I said.
"Good…you brought you own highly maneuverable craft," Blowhole said.
Rico fired the water-jet's lasers only for them to bounce harmless off the body, "coated most of the metal in laser-reflective coating," Blowhole said as the targeting lasers of the drones hit the Dolphin craft. A barrage of plasma blasts hit the enemy craft.
"no cheating pen-gu-wins," Blowhole said.
A barrage of missiles flew at the drones destroying them all.
(Skipper's POV)
I looked at the component status screen and saw this…
"drone 1: No Contact [external docking bay 1]" "Drone 2: No Contact [external docking bay 2]" "Drone 3: No Contact [launched from torpedo tube]" "Drone 4: No Contact" "Waterjet: Active"
"Private Status on torpedo's?"
"torpedo's loaded and ready Skipper," Private said.
"special Agent Rockgut!" I said, "can you please take us to the current location of the waterjet!"
"Very well cupcake!" Rockgut shouted turning the Sub.
(Kowalski's POV)
I was controlling the Waterjet doing barrel rolls, hairpin turns, inverted turns, spins, and even reversing into order to avoid Blowhole's torpedo, laser, and underwater machine gun shots.
"stay still!" blowhole shouted.
Two torpedoes were fired from the waterjet, but Blowhole destroyed them with lasers.
"Rico give it everything you got!" I shouted.
Once of blowholes underwater machine guns exploded. Blowhole sped past above us in the water dropping depth charges. I performed a barrel roll and dove and rose in the water and performed complex turns and spins to avoid the exploding charges. This maneuver caused lobsters that were trying to attack us from the seafloor to get blasted away by our wake.
"should have included depth charges!" I shouted banging my head on the window.
The multi-directional propellers were struggling to keep up with the Impellers of blowhole's craft which was spinning circles around us.
"too slow pen-gu-wins!?"
"Oh yah?" the voice of Skipper said, "take this blowhole!"
I turned to see the Mach 4 Sub speeding towards us launching two Torpedoes.
"bad move Skipper," Blowhole said firing lasers at the two approaching torpedoes destroying them.
A sonic cannon fires knocking us aside as Blowhole sped towards the Mach 4 Submarine.
Skipper deploys the Sub's secret weapon an Ion Cannon but that got quickly blow up by a torpedo.
"Any last words Pen-gu-wins," Blowhole said.
"Banzai!" Rico said hitting a button.
A barrage of lasers, torpedoes, and a single lone missile fired at blowhole's craft.
"What…No!" Blowhole shouted.
The Lasers caused serious damaged to the parts of the craft not covered in 'laser-reflective' coating. The Torpedoes turn through vital equipment and water started to flood in. The Dolphin-shaped watercraft didn't have a chance to sink however as the missile slammed into it and exploded.
"Yes! In you face blowhole!" Skipper shouted.
"Did you really think I would be in that small attack craft?" Blowhole said.
"what does that mean," skipper said on the comms.
"Look ahead," I said as I brought the Waterjet next to the Sub.
From the shadows of the nearby glacier a Larger Dolphin-shaped Submarine appeared. A swarm of red dots covered the Waterjet and Mark 4 Submarine. They was the sounds of servos as water was displaced as banks of laser blasters revealed themselves on the top and bottom. Two racks of torpedoes deployed behind the lower banks of lasers. A door on the Sub's "dorsal fin" opened and an Ionic blaster moved into position. Five smaller dolphin-shaped craft formed up around the Dolphin-shaped Submarine.
"oh, I should probably mention the name of the smaller craft…" Blowhole said, "I call them Pod-gliders…because their dolphin-shaped…swim in pods… and well glide through the water."
"Pod-gliders…really?" I said.
"It's a better name than…Waterjet," Blowhole interjected.
"Touché," I replied.
"Now I ask again…since your hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned," Blowhole said as more the 'Pod-gliders" appeared around Blowhole's Submarine.
I saw blowhole's beach-ball shaped Submarine in the distance beyond the Dolphin-shaped Sub.
"Any Last Words Pen-gu-wins?" Blowhole said.
"I got one," Skipper called from the Sub's comms, "Boom…"
"what?" I said.
Suddenly massive laser beams started to pummel the Dolphin shaped craft from the side. The lobsters turned their pod-gliders and went to defend their mother-ship but were quickly destroyed by fast moving Torpedo's. When the dust from the disturbed Antarctic seafloor cleared and Long and Wide Submarine emerged.
"Oh, I have another last word…The S.S. Leviathan! The IPSA's First and Only Carrier Class Submarine!" Skipper said.
A sea of fast-moving torpedoes fired followed by a barrage of Underwater Lasers. Blowhole's Sub was battered and heavily damaged by the incoming fire. The Sub tried to limp away but the "carrier-class" Sub responded by opening multiple bay doors. And the Squadron of Waterjet that I oversaw the construction of surged out. Smaller Penguin-shaped "Attack" Subs also flowed out along with a swarm of Attack Drones. All the craft pummeled the stricken Sub The Mach 4 Sub and my waterjet also joined in on the attack.
As Blowhole's Sub sank to the seafloor a lone escape pod escaped. Shortly afterward the Sub submitted to our bombardment and exploded. I could only watch as the blowhole's other sub slipped away.
"This is Penguin 3," I said, "returning to docking bay, Penguin 2."
"this is penguin 2," Skipper announced, "copy that, Penguin 3."
With that we left the devastated remains of Blowhole's Dolphin One Submarine. I doubt it will be the last we see of him.
FIELD TEST RESULTS
Successful deployment: PASSED
Did not flood: PASSED
maneuverability: PASSED
Engine reliability: PASSED
Torpedo Tubes: PASSED
Laser guns: PASSED
Hidden Missile launcher: PASSED
Weapon Targeting: PASSED
Undocking: PASSED
redocking: PASSED
Reliability of directional propellers: PASSED
Mission Stress: PASSED
Life Support: PASSED
Communication system: PASSED
Control system: PASSED
Performance in water: PASSED
Battle Survivability: PASSED
Overall performance: PASSED
Style: PASSED
Fear in enemy: PASSED
Awe in Allies/friends/comrades/civilians: PASSED
Not Exploding During Mission: PASSED
Not Exploding During Docking: PASSED
Not Exploding After Docking: PASSED
Not exploding period: PASSED
Not Losing Power: PASSED
Safety Systems: PASSED
Overall result: Passed Exceptional
[Final notes]
"yes!" Kowalski shouted, "we kicked Blowhole's tail!"
"Sorry…right," Kowalski said, "that was an exciting way to test the waterjet."
The Camera pans to the Waterjet its battle damage being repaired by chimps.
"Well see you next time!" Kowalski said.
[Invention Success/Failure: SUCCESS]
[jingle] "Kowalski's Invention Vlog!" [ding]
[end transmissions_]