We walked into the apartment and Tia banged her high chair tray in happiness. "Mama! Dada!" she said with a grin as we entered the kitchen.

Tracy turned to us and inspected our faces. "Tough appointment?" she said.

"Yeah", I said in disgust. I sighed. "But an important one. Gabriel prescribed an adjunct medication. The pharmacy will deliver it tonight."

"I think that's a good idea", said Tracy. "It sucks to feel bad." She paused to put another spoonful of dinner in Tia's mouth. "What are your plans for the weekend?"

"It's a little up in the air", said Ranger, "and will depend upon how we feel. But at this point, we were thinking that the three of us would go to the baby supply store and look for things for the two little ones. That way, Tia will be able to pick out things for her sisters as well."

"I was also thinking that Sunday is supposed to be cooler but sunny, and it would be a nice day to go for a walk", I said. "Alternatively, it would be a good day to spend some time in the pool teaching Tia how to swim."

Ranger smiled. "I like that idea."

Tracy removed Tia's empty plate and sprinkled some Cheerios on the tray and smiled. "If you need Joe and me to look after Tia for a while this weekend, let me know. I'm around and would be happy to help."

I gave her a hug. "Thank you, Trace", I said. "We'll certainly keep that in mind. It would probably be good for us to get back in a pattern, but if we change our minds, we'll let you know."

"I'm also available to talk, if you need someone to listen."

"Steph and I have to talk this weekend", said Ranger, "about whether she is going to take time off work starting now."

"Rather than just the afternoons?"

"As the doctor said, she is three centimeters dilated and it would be good for her to take more time to rest. He's not putting her on bed rest as he says that he is more worried about her mental symptoms than he is about her physical symptoms. However, he'd like to see her doing positive and happy things when she is up rather than researching."

"That's a good point. I know what I'd prefer to do", said Tracy.

"What's that?" I said.

"I suspect you are the same, but spending twenty-two hours a day lying on your left side is annoying and tiring. I'd prefer to take the time to rest a bit more every day and head off the need to rest all day."

Ranger smiled as he could see me thinking about that. "All things to talk about tonight."

I sighed. It was a tough decision and I wanted to make the right one.

Tracy came and gave me a hug, then gave Ranger a hug. "I'm going now. If you want to stop by on the weekend, we'd be glad to see you. And if you are happy doing family things, that's okay too. Do whatever makes you feel your most comfortable."

Tears came to my eyes. "Thanks, Trace", I said.

She kissed Tia on the top of her head. Tia grinned at her. "Annie Tay-Tay", she said and held out a Cheerio.

Tracy smiled, took the Cheerio from her hand and thanked her, ate the cereal, and kissed her again. "See you later, baby girl."

"Bye-bye", said Tia, and she looked proud of herself as we all turned to stare at her.

"Just another example of how reading teaches children", said Tracy with a grin. "Her most favorite book right now is 'Hello, Goodbye'."

I laughed.

Tracy gave us all another hug and kiss, and left the apartment as Ranger got out the blender, and as I sat down he put the fruit into the blender and added the yogurt. He added a bit of milk to thin it out, then blended it all together. Minutes later, he had put it in a tumbler with a straw and passed it to me. "What do you want for dinner, babe?" he said. "I could make you something with eggs, or there is the leftover fettucine from last night."

"Is there enough fettucine for both of us?"

Ranger laughed. "Yes. I made more than I realized. There is probably enough for both of us and then some."

I smiled and turned to Tia. "You know what, peanut? We saw a picture of your sisters today. They are going to be beautiful, like you."

"Bee-bees?"

"Their names are going to be Grace Charlotte and Alix Elizabeth, just like your name is Tia Rose and Julie's name is Julie Elena."

"Ju?"

"She's coming in a week. Are you looking forward to seeing her?"

"Yeah."

I smiled and turned back to Ranger. "You should write the email to the staff tonight announcing the babies' names."

Ranger laughed. "I've heard that the betting on the date and time of birth is fierce."

I giggled. "The staff gets so excited on our behalf, and they have such fun with it. Besides, I haven't given them too many car incapacitations lately to bet on. There must be a huge pool of money there waiting for the next person to win."

Ranger smiled. "Thank God."

I laughed again.

"While you make dinner, I will send a text to my mom and sister letting them know the names that we have picked. It will reinforce that we are having two girls once more, and Val gets so self-important for having had a boy. I don't particularly want to hear it again, so if I can tell them the names over a text? It is a very good idea."

Ranger stopped and stared at me. "Do you care that we aren't having a boy?" he said with a concerned wrinkle on his forehead.

I snorted. "Honestly? I'd prefer girls. I understand them. I know how to play Barbies and how to do their hair. I love dressing them up and making them look pretty. I'm not sure that I would know what to do with a boy. All the big things you can do with both, but you can't massage out period cramps on a boy. You probably won't be passing them tissues when they break up with their girlfriend. I don't particularly want a pet snake in the house and I don't know how to deal with wet dreams. There are differences and, while you are comfortable in your masculinity and I don't think providing that sort of support to our daughters would make you feel uncomfortable, I don't know how to support a boy. Sure, when they are little it wouldn't be a big deal. But when they get older? I would find having a boy intimidating as hell. No, I'm happy we are having girls and, I know that sounds selfish of me, but I think Julie and Tia are awesome and I am relieved to be having two more."

Ranger smiled. "Thank God. I am so incredibly happy about it that it hadn't even occurred to me until a minute ago that you might not be."

I pulled out my phone and sent a text to my parents and sister. "Went for our ultrasound today. Decided on names. Grace Charlotte and Alix Elizabeth look healthy and well." I then sent a text to Ranger's family saying the same thing. When I finished that, I sent a similar text to Vinnie, Connie and Lula at the bonds office, Mary Lou, my friend from kindergarten, Tank and Amelia. With telling Joe and Tracy earlier in the day, we didn't have to send a text to them.

I left writing a longer one to Julie. Instead of writing it on my phone, I wanted to write it on my computer so that I could type faster. It made sense. I knew she would be excited though. Julie was an essential member of the family and she loved her siblings. After spending the summer with us, there was a special bond between Tia and Julie, and I knew that Julie would like to develop equally as close ties with her new sisters.

"What do you think about taking time off from now until after the birth?" said Ranger. "It might be nice for you to have some time to relax and spend with Tia before the babies are born. It would definitely be nice to delay – and maybe even avoid – needing to go on bed rest. What do you think about that?"

"I'd be leaving Miguel with a ton of work. He has just finished training his three new people, and I have just finished training my two, and Dirk has just finished training his three. But that doesn't mean that they don't need extra support. Although they have been trained, they need more help than the rest of the staff and I feel guilty to be doing something for myself when it would be better for my department for me to stay and help."

"If you didn't have the department to worry about, would you want to go on leave now?"

I thought about that for a moment. "I feel so guilty."

"I know, but that's the depression. It's okay to want to leave early, to take care of yourself. You aren't doing anything wrong."

I struggled with my thoughts. I did want to leave early – not because I didn't enjoy working, but because I hated being on bed rest the last time, and if there was anything I could do to avoid it again I was willing to do it. But I felt like I was being lazy and selfish to want that.

"Babe, it's not my decision. However, I think it is a good idea for you to go on leave. We both know that your blood pressure has been rising over the past week. The kidnapping didn't help, but it was rising before that as well. I think we have to be proactive and get it under control as best as we can as soon as we can. I think having you go on leave is the smart thing to do."

I sighed. "Let me think about that, okay? I mean, I agree with you in theory. I just have to calibrate it with my guilt and my need to work hard. I need to figure out how to do this without feeling terrible and as though I am abandoning my staff."

Ranger dished up dinner and put it on the island in front of me. "When do you get to matter?" he said softly.

"What do you mean?"

"You are always putting other people first, whether it is not breaking down so that the staff are reassured that you are alright, or getting me to call your parents so that they aren't upset to hear the tension in your voice, or acting happy for Tia so that she doesn't get upset, or working harder and longer than maybe you should just so that Miguel's life doesn't get challenging. It is showing everybody your beautiful smile or telling a joke when you most feel like crying inside. But babe? You count too. I admire how you always put other people first, but in reality? All those people want you to look after yourself and they don't look down on you at all for needing to."

I thought about that a bit. "I just feel so guilty. Why should other people have to be tainted by my pain?"

"Because they love and care about you. That's part of it. Life is about working together, being part of a team. I know that you are a great team leader, but you can take time off being a leader and let someone else take point for a while. That doesn't reflect badly on you. It just means that you need time – and that's okay."

"You don't do that."

"On the contrary. I need, for my own comfort, to take this week off. So I am, and I'm letting Tank take point. And that's okay. There is nothing wrong with that. I am not a lesser person for doing that, nor am I a worse leader. In some ways, I am a better leader as I wouldn't be able to give my job the attention it deserves right now, and Tank can. Personally, I think too that you would be a better leader to let Miguel take lead now. I know that he wouldn't mind, especially if he knows that you taking leave might help you avoid bed rest." He inspected my face. "With your heart of hearts, what would you like to do? What would you do if you weren't worried about Miguel or your staff?"

I sighed. "Take the time off. I really don't want to be on bed rest again."

"I think that's our answer then. Think about it more over the weekend, but I would be happy telling Miguel on Monday that he is now Acting Director. You have a good team, babe. They aren't going to mind."