XXIII.
Cassandra's eyes were on the sun setting in the horizon, the breeze from the ocean causing her auburn hair to whip around her face as she allowed her hand to slip into the woman's next to her. Narcissa tightened her grip, feeling as though the woman had a grasp on her heart instead of her hand. Cassandra looked breathtaking when she was happy, and the smile that had broken out across her face when Narcissa had apparated them to their destination made the blonde's insides twist as she realized she may have finally done something right.
"Cissa, this is…" she tried, but apparently Cassandra could not find the words. Instead she turned toward Narcissa, slipping her hand around the back of her neck as she brought her girlfriend in for a lingering kiss. The blonde's eyes fluttered closed and she resolved herself to stay in this moment, to stay with Cassandra for the time being, without being worried about what was going on at home.
Her sanity desperately needed a break from everything, after all. Narcissa didn't want to linger her thoughts on Lucius, who was locked up and alone in a prison that no longer allowed visitors. She didn't want to think about Bellatrix, and how badly she needed to fix their relationship to assure her that the past no longer mattered. She didn't want to think about Draco, and the fact that after his lessons with Bellatrix he had stormed up to his bedroom and slammed his door shut, telling everyone to 'leave him the hell alone', which clearly indicated things hadn't gone as smoothly as Narcissa had hoped.
Right now, in this moment, it had to just be the two of them.
Narcissa was certain that they both needed that, needed this. They needed to be one another's escape from reality, and so Narcissa resolved to have this night be as perfect as she could manage, even though she had never really done this before. Cassandra had been right; she was usually the one on the receiving end of romantic gestures, but that didn't mean that couldn't change.
"Come on," Narcissa softly encouraged, pulling the other woman by the hand a ways down the private beach. It was a Muggle private beach, but for what Narcissa wanted, she knew she couldn't bring Cassandra somewhere that their kind might reside— concealment charms weren't exactly Narcissa's forte, and would probably be easy to sense to any witch or wizard in the vicinity, which would bring them unwanted attention. She just hoped nothing foul would rub off on them while they were there, but Narcissa also knew logically that it was a silly fear. Besides, she had other things to focus on, like the beautiful woman who's face lit up once she realized she was being brought down to a small picnic area near the water's edge.
"Y'know, when you said you were gonna take me on a 'date' I thought you were just gonna take me drinkin' an' then to the Leaky Cauldron to shag; maybe gimme flowers or some shit, but this…"
"Did you really think that was all I was capable of?" Narcissa asked in a tone of faux offense, except she was a little bit offended. She knew she didn't have much of a right to be though, considering the one and only time she had ever attempted something romantic with Cassandra it had, arguably, included flowers, sex, and not much else. Still, Narcissa knew she had to do better than that, and she had wracked her brain for hours trying to find something suitable before she realized what better thing to do with Cassandra than share something she loved?
It was not often that Narcissa found herself on the water's edge, but ever since she was young she found it to be calming. When she was sixteen and was pretending to go to her Soul Mender appointments she used to go down to the river by their manor, sit in the grass and watch the surface of the water shimmer beneath the sunlight. Bellatrix had found her there once, knowing her preference for places to steal away to when she was feeling overwhelmed, but this place she knew her sister would not find even if she went looking.
A Muggle beach, after all; Bellatrix would never fathom to search for her here, which was another reason Narcissa chose it. While her sister knew she was spending time with Cassandra tonight, as the blonde found it better to not lie completely, she did not want Bellatrix growing paranoid and interrupting their date, as that would end horribly for all involved. At this point though, Narcissa just hoped Cassandra did not know that this was a tainted place, as she would be horribly embarrassed.
For now though, it seemed Cassandra was content on enjoying herself without asking too many questions. They sat beside one another on the blanket Narcissa had laid out atop the sand, each of them with a glass of wine in their hand as they picked at the assortment of finger-food that Narcissa had brought.
"How is Gregory doing without his father?" Narcissa asked, her hand sliding over the other woman's as she gently caressed her fingers.
"Greg an' Peter were never real close," Cassandra told her with a small shrug. She looked out at the water, the light breeze billowing the hair away from her eyes. "Think I miss 'im more than he does, which is probably dumb as bollocks, considering all we used to do lately was fight. It's stupid."
"It's not," Narcissa assured her, knowing the woman's marriage had meant quite a lot to her until, well, until Narcissa had butted in the middle and ruined it, as was par for the course with most things she touched. The blonde pursed her lips, feeling rather guilty. Still, she could not find it within herself to feel sorry either, as that would imply that she regretted their relationship, and she very much did not.
Cassandra forced a small smile before she pushed her husband from her mind and looked over at the woman next to her. "How's Draco doing without Lucius?"
"He's… upset," Narcissa revealed, although she supposed that was putting it mildly. "Draco worshiped him, and not even being able to visit is hurting him quite terribly. Although, he did have some choice words to say to me— believing me to not even be upset about it because I have you."
"He knows we're still seein' each other?"
"I mean, I never told him we stopped. I never really told him much of anything as he had made it clear he did not want to know," Narcissa answered, realizing perhaps she should have been more honest about her relationships with her son. He was certainly old enough now. "And we were… I don't know, on and off a lot. I don't think he realized when we were off either, as we still remained friends. Our relationship has been… a bit all over the place, honestly, and I'm sorry— I know a lot of it was my fault."
"Nah," Cassandra exhaled, not allowing Narcissa to take all the blame as she reached over, pulling a grape off it's vine before turning it around in her fingers. "I broke up with you too. Was both of us. Neither of us knew what we bloody wanted— don't even think we know now what we want. Yeah, we want this… but for how long? Till our husbands come back, till the mental one finds out? Till—"
"Stop," Narcissa begged her, placing her wine glass down as she shifted her position so that she was pressed up against Cassandra's side, their legs tangling together. "Look at me," Narcissa breathed, placing her palm on her lover's face to coax their gazes to meet. "I can't promise you forever, but you can't promise that to me either," she reminded her softly. "Just stay with me. Here, in this moment… the future doesn't matter. Okay? Please. Is this not what you wanted?"
Cassandra looked a little emotional, but that seemed to frustrate her as she turned her face away from her. "This is all I ever wanted…" she admitted in a broken whisper, as though that realization seemed to devastate her.
"Then why do you look so sad?"
Cassandra was silent for a long time, as though she was wrestling with the truth. She did not want to say it, she did not want to feel it, and yet the words fell from her lips regardless. "Because I know it's not all you've ever wanted."
Those words broke Narcissa's heart, but she did not deny it. Instead she looked at the woman next to her and prompted, "Can I ask you something?" Cassandra swallowed but met her gaze again, and Narcissa asked, "What does your ideal life look like? Do you want to leave Peter, run away with me so we can live happily ever after?" Cassandra snorted, as though that was such an utterly ridiculous notion, and Narcissa pushed onward. "I'm serious. What do you want, Cassie? Even if it's mad, even if it makes no sense… I want to know."
Cassandra was silent for a long time, finally popping the grape she had been holding into her mouth. After she swallowed she sighed heavily, admitting, "…I dunno. I s'pose I just want to be happy, whatever that looks like. I miss what Peter an' I had, but I dunno if I even want it back anymore. Too much shit has happened. I think I owe it to my family to keep tryin' though."
Narcissa said nothing, accepting her answer. Cassandra slid her hand over Narcissa's then, asking her the same question. "What's yours?" Narcissa laughed softly.
"Mine's mad."
"Tell me."
"Alright," the blonde relented softly, gently squeezing the woman's hand. Narcissa knew she was going to sound crazy, but she spoke her truth regardless. "In my ideal scenario, Lucius and I would have repaired our marriage, but it would be… different. You would be there too." Cassandra's brow knit and Narcissa's face flushed a light pink. "We'd both care deeply for you, we'd both share you, and you'd be ours… forever. I know it's mental, especially because my ideal picture still includes my sister, who I'd want to be with as well, but… separately. I'd want her to accept you as just another aspect of my marriage that she can not control, and leave it alone. I know not a single one of those things will happen though."
Cassandra shot her a bemused look. "S'pose it's good for your little fantasy then, that your husband has a crush on me." Narcissa's blush deepened, but she was not wrong. Still, she knew it was a pipe dream, for a variety of different reasons. "But… that would be nice," Cassandra finally admitted, and Narcissa's heart beat heavier in her chest. "Fuckin' mental, but… I dunno. Ya can't really do that shit in real life, you know? Besides, I got my own marriage, my own family to think about, and your crazy sister would never let something like that lie. Still, never really thought of somethin' like that, an' it's not… the worst scenario in the world, I suppose. I could do a whole lot worse than you an' Lucius. I don't feel about him like how I feel about you, but he's… kind. Considerate. Sexy as fuck, honestly… but. Yeah. It's… it's mental. All of this is mental."
Narcissa gently bit down on her lower lip, realizing her fantasy might not be as far-fetched as she thought after all. But as soon as she had that thought she forced herself to push it away because, well… with Bellatrix in the picture, it would never work, and Narcissa could not and would not ever accept a picture that did not have her sister in it. She didn't know how. Besides, Cassandra was not ready to throw her marriage out the window either, and it wouldn't be fair for Narcissa to ask her to.
"But see, that was my point," Narcissa told her softly, gently resting her chin on her girlfriend's shoulder. "This isn't ideal, and we both know that, but it's enough. Or, at least, it's enough for me… I hope it's enough for you."
Cassandra exhaled a slow breath, looking out at the ocean. "Yeah," she breathed, realizing she would only upset herself if she focused too much on the uncertainties of the future. "S'enough. I'm happy right now— reckon I should stop worryin' about tomorrow. I don't wanna ruin this. This is… it's beautiful, Cissa. Thank you."
Narcissa smiled softly, leaning up to gently place a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek. Cassandra bit down on her lower lip, her own smile beginning to peak out from behind her teeth, and the blonde's stomach fluttered as her gaze fell to the plate in front of them, picking up one of the chocolate-dipped strawberries. This whole thing was probably a terrible cliché, but at least Cassandra seemed to be enjoying it.
"You know, it's strange," Narcissa began, looking back up at the woman next to her. "We've been together, on and off, for what seems like forever now and you still… you just smile and my insides get all twisted up. I feel like I'm a teenager again; it's ridiculous."
"First date jitters," Cassandra rationalized with a smirk, and Narcissa laughed.
"God, this is our first date, isn't it? Oh my god, we're so…" Narcissa trailed off, her eyes searching the other woman's. "Stupid," she finished softly, feeling like she had wasted so much time. "I feel so stupid."
"Yeah," Cassandra agreed softly. "Me too."
Narcissa looked down at the strawberry in her hand before she bit down on her bottom lip and held it up to the other woman's mouth in offering. Cassandra's lips parted, her eyes never leaving Narcissa's as she slowly took a bite of the fruit. The blonde stared unashamedly at her mouth, and after the other woman swallowed, Narcissa's gently allowed her thumb to wipe the small bit of juice that lingered on Cassandra's bottom lip. The younger woman did not allow her to go too far though and captured her thumb between her lips, devouring the last of the strawberry as Narcissa felt her breath leave her. The picnic forgotten, Narcissa's hand slid around the back of the other woman's neck as she pressed their lips together, her eyes falling closed as she allowed herself to drown in Cassandra, realizing that she did not want to waste any more time.
Cassandra's tongue slipped into her mouth and Narcissa groaned softly, her fingers fisting at the nape of the other woman's neck. The ocean waves crashed in the distance, the sound of seagulls squawking above them going completely ignored as Cassandra encouraged the blonde on her back, fitting next to her on the blanket as they kissed languidly, their legs tangling together as their feet hung off the blanket, getting lost in the sand.
Narcissa exhaled a hard breath as Cassandra's lips found her shoulder, her clavicle. The blonde rolled her neck to give the other woman more room to work, and Cassandra's hand fell down her body, her nails raking up Narcissa's thighs as she encouraged them to part. "Here?" Narcissa asked breathlessly as she felt Cassandra hike up her sundress, her fingers pressing over the fabric of her knickers. The younger woman chuckled softly against the soft skin of her neck.
"Thought that was what your shit concealment charm was for. 'Sides, be a bit romantic, yeah? Makin' love to ya on the beach."
"It's not… is it really shit?" Narcissa asked, terribly self-conscious about her magical abilities. Cassandra just laughed softly before she took the younger woman's earlobe in her mouth, gently nibbling on it in a way that made Narcissa gasp and squirm.
"Yeah, it's shit," Cassandra admitted when she was through, her hot breath tickling Narcissa's ear as her fingers dipped below the fabric that covered her prize. Narcissa inhaled a sharp breath, feeling the pads of the woman's fingers brush lightly over her clit. "But I don't care; let someone see us. Don't see anyone other than you anyway."
Narcissa's heart clenched at those words, and she reached up to gently place her palm against the younger woman's cheek before pressing their lips together once more. They kissed desperately, Cassandra beginning to rub slow circles against her heated flesh, and Narcissa wished she could stay trapped in this moment forever, as the simplicity of being with Cassandra made her feel infinitely lighter than the burdens she usually kept atop her shoulders while at home.
Cassandra broke the kiss then, shifting down her form until she was settled between the older woman's thighs, her fingers gently sliding her knickers from her body. When Narcissa spread her legs for her though, she wasn't immediately greeted by Cassandra mouth, but the woman's fingers dusting across her sensitive flesh a few times. Narcissa blushed, her nose scrunching up. "Sand?" she guessed, and Cassandra laughed lightly, leaning in to kiss the inside of the blonde's thigh.
"A little," she admitted before she replaced her fingers with her mouth, covering the apex of Narcissa's thighs as the blonde allowed her eyes to flutter closed and a soft moan to escape from her lips. The sound of the water and the light ocean breeze allowed Narcissa to drift away as she allowed Cassandra to make love to her with her mouth, her whole body relaxing as she gently tangled her fingers in her own hair. She opened her eyes then, looking up at the orange and red hues in the sky, feeling rather weightless as Cassandra's tongue gently swirled around her clit.
"God…" Narcissa moaned, reaching down to hold her the back of her thighs in order to give her lover more room to work. Her feet were sandy, her sandals having been lost somewhere off the edge of the blanket, and as Cassandra took her entirely into her mouth the base of her abdomen clenched, her entire body beginning to flush as her breathing started to come out in short, uneven bursts. "Cass… oh my God," she breathed, enjoying this tortuously slow climb. Usually when Narcissa made love to anyone it was always rather rushed and desperate, but Cassandra was taking her time with her, thoroughly enjoying the way she could make the blonde gasp and squirm beneath her.
As she got closer Narcissa's hand fell downward, tangling her fingers in a mess of auburn hair as she pressed her hips into Cassandra's mouth. "Shit— don't stop," she begged, her nipples straining against the fabric of her sundress as her labored breathing caused her chest to heave. Cassandra did not seem to have any plans to however and continued driving Narcissa absolutely mental as she spread the blonde with her fingers, the tip of her tongue hyper-focused on Narcissa's clit.
"Fuck, fuck—" Narcissa panted, her hand fisting in the blanket, getting a handful of sand beneath the fabric as the muscles inside of her clenched and rolled, allowing all the tension that had been building within her to release just as strong as the crashing waves behind her. As Narcissa shuddered and came down from her high she felt Cassandra move out from between her thighs, hovering above her before their lips connected and Narcissa could taste herself on the other woman's tongue.
Both of the women began to undress themselves fully then, and Narcissa prayed her concealment charm would hold as she switched their positions, coming to rest atop Cassandra. Narcissa's thigh pressed against Cassandra's center causing the younger woman to hiss as Narcissa felt just how badly she wanted her. "You're soaked," she lightly teased her, and Cassandra rolled her eyes, a light blush concealing the freckles that spattered her cheeks.
"Me gettin' wet for ya ain't news, Cissa."
"No, but it's still…" Narcissa briefly pursed her lips before she smiled softly, finally allowing herself to feel something that she had tried for so long to ignore, as it made her life insanely more complicated. In that moment though, it didn't matter; Narcissa still couldn't voice it, but allowing herself to feel it was infinitely further than she had ever gotten before, and right now, it was enough.
"It's flattering," Narcissa admitted softly, coming to rest on the woman's side as she allowed her hand to fall between their bodies. Her fingers got lost beneath a small patch of dark pubic hair, sliding through Cassandra's folds as she caused the younger woman to exhale a hard breath. "I look at you, Cass; at how… how fucking breathtaking you are, at how your smile lights up the whole room— you laugh, and it's infectious, and you're so…"
Cassandra bit down on her lower lip as Narcissa continued, her eyes softening at the blonde's words. "It's so funny, what a stark contrast you are, you know? You look so soft, so bloody innocent, and yet you swear like a harlot and don't give a damn what you say. You're… God, you're one of the strongest women I've ever met— you have no bloody fear and that terrifies me, honestly, but I'm also so incredibly in awe of it, because I wish I could be the same way."
"Cissa…" Cassandra breathed, her eyes washing over with emotion as she gently placed her hand upon the blonde's cheek. Narcissa smiled softly as she continued to gently run her fingers over Cassandra's swollen heat, her insides tightening with emotion as she tuned her head and gently kissed the younger woman's palm.
"I feel lucky," Narcissa admitted, watching her lover's eyes begin to glisten at the honesty her words held. "I feel so goddamn lucky that someone like you could ever look at me and see something worth having."
"It's me who should feel lucky, ya fuckin' knob," Cassandra exhaled, a tear sliding down her cheek that she immediately wiped away. "Jesus— you fuckin', you fuck me all up, Cissa— used to never bloody cry before you…"
Narcissa's heart clenched in her chest. "I'm sorry."
"Nah, they're… they're happy tears. Just… just make love to me, Narcissa, please. Please…" she begged softly, spreading her legs wider so that Narcissa's fingers could get lost further south, easily slipping inside of her. Cassandra exhaled a soft moan, her hands tangling in the woman's hair as she brought their lips together in a fierce kiss. Narcissa slipped her tongue into her mouth as she pushed deep inside of her, swallowing the sounds of pleasure that fell from the back of her girlfriend's throat.
Narcissa never thought she'd be able to do something like this; she never thought she would be able to step outside of herself long enough to plan something nice for someone else, to have it be this beautiful, this honest. Her selfish nature tended to cause her to look at her lovers and only see what they could offer her, but come to find out, she rather enjoyed doing something for someone else. And maybe it wasn't perfect— near the end the tide began to come in and they wound up getting soaked as half of their picnic things were lost to the ocean, but they laughed and they kissed and it didn't matter, as both she and Cassandra were so indescribably happy in that moment that even though they ended up sticky with salt water and had sand in uncomfortable places, it felt like perhaps they had managed the perfect first date after all.
When Narcissa apparated home she was still wet, sand all in her hair and a light flush to her cheeks as she leaned against her front door, her hand that was over her chest fisting in the fabric of her dress. She smiled, her head leaning back against the wood for a moment, but she was taken out of the moment she was reliving as her son came out of the parlor, his brow knitting when he saw the state of her.
"Mother? Why are you wet?"
Narcissa pushed herself off the door, relaxing her hand before she quickly began smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress, the flush on her cheeks growing darker. "Oh, I… I tripped. On the beach— fell in the… well, you can see. Is… is your aunt home?"
"How the hell should I know?" Draco sounded like the last thing he wanted to do was be around Bellatrix, and Narcissa knew better than to ask how his Occlumency lessons went, as the answer was clearly not well. Narcissa began to panic a little though, realizing that should her sister see her like this then she would have more questions than she had answers. Draco seemed to sense her growing paranoia though and exhaled an exasperated breath, realizing he couldn't keep being a dick just because he was mad at his aunt. "Okay fine, she left like an hour ago— did you know that thing on her arm moves?"
Narcissa wished her son didn't sound as impressed about that as he did.
Still, she did not have a second to linger on that thought as Draco's information caused the woman to exhale a breath she didn't know she had been holding, slumping against the door in relief. God, she really had not thought this through, had she? She probably should have at least used her wand to dry herself, but Narcissa had been feeling like she was walking on a cloud after their date and she didn't think about what the consequences would be if Bellatrix found out where she was and what exactly she had been doing.
Draco's nose scrunched up then, looking at his mother suspiciously who had, finally, taken out her wand to siphon the water from her clothes and hair. "There's no beaches around here." His expression soured, realizing there was only one reason she would apparate so far, and with who. "You were with Mrs. Goyle again, weren't you?"
The blonde sighed. "Don't look at me like that— I love your father, I do, but Cassandra and I…" Narcissa's brow knit, emotion swirling in the pit of her gut. She didn't know if she was ready for this conversation with her son, but perhaps she owed him an explanation. "She makes me happy, Draco. I won't apologize for that. You've known for a long time that your father and I have an unconventional relationship, and he knows how much I care for her."
"Fine, be in love with her, I really don't care—" Draco snapped, proving that he did, in fact, care very much. Still, those words caused a knot to tighten in Narcissa's chest, as that was not something she was ready to be verbally confronted with. "But you're being stupid! You were the one who told me what Aunt Bella would do if she found out about you guys, why are you still seeing her?"
Oh, good. Narcissa was wondering when she'd start getting that all-consuming guilt back. Silly her, thinking she could be happy for three seconds.
"Do not call me stupid, Draco; I am your mother— have some respect. If you must know, I did stop seeing her, but… things changed. Both of our husbands are in prison—"
"I didn't say you were stupid, I said you were being stupid. And what does them being in prison have to do with anything? It wasn't like you and Father were even—"
"Draco, you really have no idea what your father and I do behind closed doors, and I am fairly certain you would not like me to illuminate you."
Draco looked disgusted, but it was only momentarily and, well, that was a testament to how much he was growing up at least. "Whatever. That doesn't even matter— Father's only been gone for three weeks; don't you have any self control?"
"Excuse me?" Narcissa gasped, feeling as though her son had slapped her. She understood Draco was turning sixteen in a few days, but that did not mean that he had earned the ability to speak to her as an equal yet. "Young man, you are treading a very thin line right now. You better remember who you're speaking to, and quickly."
"No, I'm allowed to have an opinion when what you're doing is going to get my friend's mother killed!" Draco exclaimed, refusing to back down. "Goyle might be an idiot, but he loves his mum and if you love her so much you're unable to stay away from her for twelve bloody seconds, shouldn't you be scared of what Aunt Bella will do if she finds out? Mother, Mum… I think you're getting bad again; selfish and needy and all that. Father told me to watch out for— are you taking your medicine?"
"I…" Narcissa tried, suddenly completely overwhelmed by the person who stood in front of her. She hadn't been expecting Draco to— God, what did Lucius say? He shouldn't have put any kind of pressure on their son to keep her well, that wasn't fair to him. "Yes, of course I— when did Lucius tell you to…?"
"Before I left for school," Draco responded softly. "He said that when Aunt Bella comes back, you might get bad again. And now he's not here so I have to— Mother, you can't be doing this. Bad shit is going to happen."
"Draco, please, I know what I'm doing," Narcissa assured him, even though she very much did not. She didn't want him worrying about her though; neither her relationships nor her mental health were burdens he should have to bear. "And my sister cannot touch Cassandra— I've made certain of it. Not that I want Bellatrix to know about our relationship regardless, but your friend's mother is not in danger of getting killed anymore."
"How can you guarantee that? She's… bloody weird about you, Mum; like she needs your attention every second of every day, and from what I've heard it's not like she hasn't murdered people for less—"
"Because your father tricked her into making the Unbreakable Vow, alright?!" Narcissa snapped. She felt terrible for beginning to lose her hold on her temper with Draco, but Narcissa felt like she was being bombarded and it was causing her anxiety to spike. "She cannot physically harm Cassandra, but that doesn't mean that she can't cause damage another way, so please— just leave my relationship to me. After forty years I've become quite adept at lying to my sister, but I thank you for your concern."
Draco was starting to look frustrated. "Why do you even have to lie to her though? If Aunt Bella loves you so much like you claim, shouldn't she want you to be happy? All of this makes no bloody sense—"
God, this conversation was getting infinitely more complicated. Narcissa looked at her son helplessly, trying to figure out a way to explain this to him without having to actually explain it to him. "Because… because my relationship with Bellatrix is very complicated. I know I put a lot of the blame on her, but it's me as well— we both grew up in a terribly abusive household and it caused us to be very codependent as we attempted to survive it. It left scars upon both of us, and we are both mentally unwell. I am very controlling of her, and she in turn is very possessive of me. We are aware that it's unhealthy and can further our respective mental illnesses, which is no doubt why your father warned you that I may slip, but at this point we are both too old to change. I will not have my relationship with her prevent me from having a relationship with Cassandra though, so please, just allow me to handle this my way. I really am appreciative of how much you care, darling, but my romantic life and my choices therein are my business."
Draco, however, just looked at her like her choices were still shit. Maybe they were. "If she screws you up so badly then why is she here?"
"Because she has no where else to go," Narcissa told him sternly. "And quite frankly, I want her here. I do not expect you to understand. Besides, I thought you wished to be taught by her— if Bellatrix left, that would make that goal much more difficult to achieve."
Draco rolled his eyes in irritation. "Occlumency is shit."
"Darling, swearing so often is making you sound uneducated; try to tone it down. And there are always other things she can teach you; while I believe Occlumency is very important and that you should learn it eventually, you can always ask for a break to focus on other things for a while."
Draco stayed silent, looking rather miserable. Clearly, he did wish to be taught it, but he also did not enjoy walking the path to get there. Narcissa had tried to warn him that it would be difficult, but Draco always assumed he could handle anything until he realized the hard way that he could not.
"Bella saw something that embarrassed you, I take it."
Draco shifted his weight uncomfortably between his feet, a sour look on his face. "She's going to tell you, isn't she?"
"Probably," Narcissa answered truthfully, as she was sure Bellatrix would find it endlessly amusing to share her son's embarrassment. She never really had much in the way of compassion, after all. "Would you like to tell me first?"
Draco said nothing. Narcissa waited patiently though, knowing he found it a far worse option for Bellatrix to tell her what she saw.
Eventually he admitted, "I'm seeing someone. Casually, or whatever. It's not a big deal." He would not meet her eyes though, instead choosing to stare at his shoes.
"If it's not a big deal, then why are you so embarrassed?" Narcissa gently asked him, even though her insides were beginning to twist in anxiety. Her little boy, dating. Although at almost sixteen, perhaps he wasn't so little anymore. Still, it was an odd feeling. She hoped he was good to this girl, whoever she was.
"Because she saw private stuff, Mother!"
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no. Wasn't he just crawling into her lap, asking to be read a bedtime story? How did time go by so quickly? Narcissa knew at his age it was a possibility that he would become sexually active, and her and Lucius had tried to prepare him before that happened, but Narcissa had just hoped that Draco would wait until he was of a more proper age. Like thirty.
"Well, that's… I can understand why that would embarrass you, and I truly do not mean to further that embarrassment but please, at least tell me you're being safe about it. I cannot bear the thought of becoming a grandmother this young."
"Oh my God, Mum, I'm not fucking her—"
"Draco! Please, use a better word!"
"—We've just done other stuff, okay? Can we stop talking about it? You know now, I was bloody honest or whatever, so just— leave it."
Draco's entire face had turned a furious red and he still could not look his mother in the eyes. Still, despite wishing her son had waited a bit longer to experiment sexually, Narcissa was glad that he told her. Bellatrix would not be, surely, as it was going to ruin the look of horror Narcissa would have had as Bellatrix no doubt revealed it in the crudest possible way, but this way she at least knew where her son was maturity-wise.
"Does this girl have a name?" Narcissa prodded and Draco shot her a furious look, knowing exactly why she was asking.
"You are not inviting her round."
"Why not? It would be nice to have your girlfriend over for dinner—"
"She's not my girlfriend," Draco was quick to deny, which exasperated Narcissa. She did not want her son to be one of those men who just takes what they want from women while leaving them emotionally empty in return.
But if he wished to label it as such, then so be it. "Well, then it would be nice to have the girl who is currently giving my son sexual favors over for dinner—"
Draco looked horrified. "Mother!"
"See, the first way sounded a lot better, didn't it?" Narcissa countered, and Draco glowered. "Darling, I know the last thing you want is relationship advice from your mother, but you need to understand that sex is a lot different for girls than it is for boys—"
"I'm not—!"
"Perhaps not yet, but I'm not going to disillusion myself into believing you'll stay a virgin the rest of your life. Don't roll your eyes at me— listen. Whatever you are doing with that girl, I guarantee you that it means something to her. Do not intentionally toy with her, Draco; if you like her, then date her. If you do not, then let her go. It really is that simple."
"I mean, she's— fine, I guess…"
Narcissa's brow rose. "You guess?"
"Fine, I'll ask her on a stupid date, alright? Jesus. I already took her to the Yule Ball, shouldn't that be enough?"
Narcissa's eyes widened in recognition and Draco immediately looked like he regretted opening his mouth, as he had told his mother who he had taken. "Oh, I'm so glad you've decided to finally give Pansy a chance! She really does sound lovely."
"Mother, you literally know nothing about her outside of the fact that she's pureblood."
"Well, that's lovely enough," Narcissa reasoned, causing Draco to roll his eyes again. "I won't force you to bring her over here, okay? Not unless it becomes serious. But please, take her out on a date. Make her feel special, and perhaps she might make you feel special in return."
"…Gross."
"I didn't mean it like— well, I mean, if that's what you're after…"
"Mum, just—! Stop. Don't you need to take a shower? You still smell like the ocean and Aunt Bella will probably be home soon," Draco hurriedly reminded her, desperate to be finished with this conversation. Narcissa exhaled a sigh, but knew her son was right; she did very much need to make herself look and smell somewhat presentable for when Bellatrix returned.
"Yes, of course. But— darling," Narcissa called up to her son, who was already taking the stairs two at a time, practically fleeing from her, "if you need more condoms…"
"Goodnight, Mother!"
Well, Narcissa supposed she would just have to pack some extra in his trunk this year… just in case. Because honestly, the last goddamn thing her sanity needed, on top of everything else, was becoming a bloody grandmother at forty years old.
TBC…