Chapter Twenty-three: Go the longer route
You cleverly decide not to risk it.
You're a Gryffindor, but you're not an idiot. Why go head first into danger when you can avoid it. You learned an important lesson in the last years while facing Voldemort and his Death Eaters and it's that a little caution has never hurt anyone.
You turn around and take a different route. It leads you through two secret passages and you have to climb a flight of stairs, as well, but in the end, you arrive to the Potions classroom without having met anyone.
You stand in front of the door and listen hard, but you hear nothing from inside.
Just what could they possibly do in there so late in the night? Surely nothing evil?
You know Malfoy is a little shit, but by the end of the war, he and his family have decided to renounce their devotion to Voldemort. They offered information in exchange of protection. You recognize it as an act of fear of course, but at least they reconsidered and, in the end, managed to help the war effort. Though you and Malfoy have never become friendly, you understand the hardships he has gone through. That being said, it's awfully suspicious to hang out with Snape this late in the hour.
Snape's an entirely different topic, however. His loyalty was revealed to you only at the very end, after he saved your life and almost died in the act. To this day you remember the conversation you, Snape and Dumbledore had after the war. It was mostly between you and the Headmaster, while Snape was stubbornly looking out the window.
Dumbledore told you about your mother and Snape being friends, and how his affections for her made him leave the Death Eaters and become a spy for the Order at great personal risk. You listened, with mouth wide open, barely believing what was told to you. Later on, you tried to speak with Snape, wanting to hear this from him directly, thinking if it is true that changes everything between you.
Naturally, he rebuffed you with a cold stare. Not a lot has changed apparently, just because you were made aware of where his true loyalty lies.
But you have noticed inside you something, something that wasn't there before. A little warmth every time Snape looked at you, a certain little twinge at the lower part of your belly when he touched your shoulder with the tips of his finger during class to make you pay attention to what you're doing (little did he know, that touch is having the exact opposite effect). You started talking back less and study more and in return he started taking your work seriously. Now, you are doing reasonably well in his class, which surprises both of you.
You take out the Marauder's map and look at it one last time. The two little dots are still inside, motionless, just as they were when you first saw them up in the Tower. They must be standing really close, because their dots are almost overlapping.
A strange idea occurs to you. What if… Snape and Malfoy… could they be having sex in there?
Cold cut of jealousy slashes across your heart. The map crumples in your hand as your fingers fist in anger. It can't be, can it?
Of course, it could happen. Wouldn't even be surprising, really if you think about it. Two souls broken by the war find happiness in each other's arm. It wouldn't be the first it happened and surely not the last either.
Your heart aches by the thought that just on the other side of this door Snape could be holding Malfoy, kissing him, touching him…
Why does this hurt so much? Why do you find this idea so unbearable? It can't be that you have feelings for Snape, right? Surely not… That would be… insane.
And yet, you know it's true. All those times you looked at him, almost stared at him, it wasn't just curiosity. You were carving his features in memory so to remember him even when you're not here, when you won't see him ever again.
Your heart misses a beat as you remember him lying on the floor, covered in blood. You close your eyes trying to shake the image from your mind, but it refuses to leave. It has burnt into you. Black eyes desperately searching for you, thin lips whispering in one last effort, "Look at me…"
Something has changed then, oh yes, you were just a fool and haven't noticed it.
You look at the handle, place your hand on it. Snape and Malfoy are behind that door, but you're not sure you're ready to witness what they are doing.
Go in. This would end in pain anyway. (Go to chapter 24)
You can't bear to see them together. Leave. (Go to chapter 28)