Summary: "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix
Mature content and themes, explicit language.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.
Chapter 17: Letters
It had been...nice.
They stayed up in the Astronomy Tower a bit longer than they were supposed to, both hanging back even after they were finished sweeping. They spoke for a bit, and it had been...quite tame. The topic of her virginity was brought up, she she thought she had no reason to hide anything, so she spoke the truth, but when Draco had told her about him, she was a bit surprised.
She hadn't expected him to share that part of him. To share something so personal with her. But she welcomed it all the same.
There had been many long pauses, but they were not awkward in any way. There were more like...comfortable pauses. They gave them both a moment to just do nothing, and collect their thoughts.
They had both stood there, gazing at the mountains, together.
Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.
It was quite odd, but it felt nice. Draco had begun to be less stoic around her, and began to show more emotion. He opened up more, almost making it seem like what they were doing was normal.
She had always liked to keep her life in her control, and have a full plan of what she was going to do, and have a full understanding of everything that was going on. But for perhaps the first time, she didn't have a clue of what was happening.
They'd kissed twice, and had gazed at the mountains together from the Astronomy Tower. She didn't have a damn clue of what was going on.
"Hermione, are you joining us for breakfast?"
"Coming, Harry."
Forcing her thoughts aside, she got up, and went off to join her friends.
He couldn't stop thinking about her. Her words kept echoing in his head, torturing him.
'In a dark world, it's important to appreciate the small things that bring us joy. They provide us with an escape, and peace.'
Fucking hell.
The more he tried to push her away, the closer she came. The more he tried to hurt her, the more she affected him. It fucking pissed him off.
"Hey, mate, I think you have a letter."
He looked up, and noticed a majestic, brown, barn owl, swooping down, right towards him. It dropped off a letter, which fell right into his lap. He looked down at who it was from, and immediately froze.
He shoved the letter into his pocket, before moving to get up.
"Where're you going?"
"I forgot something. I'll be back."
Hoping that would suffice, he practically ran out of the great hall, needing some privacy. Once he reached an empty hall, he stopped.
With trembling fingers, he slowly peeled open the envelope, and began to read the letter.
She tried to not look, but she couldn't help but allow her eyes to drift over to the Slytherin table, as she walked into the Great Hall. She pushed her hair behind her ear, and nibbles on her lip, as her eyes scanned the table, in search for a certain blonde.
She finally found him, seated beside Blaise Zabini. He seemed to be deep in thought, and she wondered what he was thinking about. She saw a beautiful barn owl swoop down to drop a letter in his lap, and fly away.
She turned back to look at him, and noticed that his features had changed significantly. He was stiff, with his lips pursed, as he clutched the letter tightly. She saw him get up, as Zabini gave him an odd look. He sped out of the Great Hall, holding the letter in his hands.
Who was it from?
What if he had gotten orders from…
Suddenly, she began to follow him, needing to find out where he was going, with a sense of urgency. She needed to know what was in the letter.
She ran out of the Great Hall, and saw Draco walking just a few steps in front of her. She followed as slowly and quietly as possible, not wanting to give away her cover. She saw him stop in the middle of a hall, and finally open the envelope.
His fingers were trembling, and he broke out into a sweat.
What was in the letter?
She watched as his eyes scanned the parchment, and tried to read his expressions, to no avail. He was too far. She looked up at his face, and saw him biting the inside of his cheek, with his head bent down.
Was that a tear?
He took a moment to compose himself, before carelessly putting the letter back in his pocket. He used the bac if his hand to wipe something off his face, before he walked off.
She was just about to call out to him when she noticed the letter had fallen out of his pocket, and had dropped to the floor. Making sure he was gone, she walked up to it, and bent down to pick it up.
From Narcissa Malfoy.
It was from his mother.
She slowly unfolded the parchment, opening up the letter to read its contents.
Dear Draco,
How are you doing, love? We have been missing you so much, your father and I. Just the other day, I found a box with all your old toys in the attic! It had that awful bear you seemed to love so much, I have it safe, it's waiting for you.
We heard about what happened with the girl in Hogsmeade. It's okay. We're so proud of you, Draco. So proud. You're doing this for us, we know. Once it's all over, we can be happy again. Once it's all over, you can come back home, and I'll have all your favourite meals prepared, waiting for you. We can take a vacation to the villa in France, and give ourselves a break from everything happening here. Just stay safe Draco. Please. Stay safe.
Your father and I are doing fine. We simply stay to our quarters in the Manor, occasionally going out for a stroll in the gardens. There are an incredible amount of magnolias this year! You loved to smell the magnolias when you were younger. Your father always allowed you to pick one every time you went into the garden.
We love you, Draco. Don't be scared. We wish we could do more for you, we really do. Have patience and faith, it will all work out. We just want you to come home. I want my son back. Just keep trying. All I want you to know is that at the end of it all, I love you, and will always love you no matter what.
Love,
Mother.
She held the letter in her hands, tears streaming from her face. Reading it, she could almost feel Narcissa's pain. She knew that the mother longed to see her son, have him back with her once more. Whatever he was told to do was evidently dangerous, and extremely difficult. Her heart ached for him, and reading the letter from his mother made her want to just reach out and keep him safe.
"Hermione!"
Quickly brushing her tears off, she slipped the letter into her pocket, and turned around, to find Harry at the end of the hall.
"Where'd you go? We were worried there for a second."
"Sorry I...thought I saw some Second Years with Fred and George's products."
"Of course." he sighed, smiling. "Let's go back to the Great Hall, shall we?"
"Let's go."
He couldn't find the letter.
Fuck.
Where the fuck had it gone?
He'd just realized it was missing, and he had a detention right then. He had to find the letter.
It could be with anyone. Anyone could have read his letter his mother sent him.
The letter…
She had tried to be as optimistic as she possibly could. She said she was fine, but she wasn't. He knew. She didn't say she was hurt, but he knew. Every day, the pain he experienced in carrying out the task had doubled, because he knew his mother was being tortured at the Manor. He knew.
The parchment had her tears all over it, and her writing was slightly messy, he deduced from shaky fingers. He needed to finish it as quickly as possible. He wanted to go back to her...go back to his mother.
Because she was all he had.
He finally reached McGonnagal's office, and was eager to get through the detention as quickly as possible. He had to go look for his letter. It hadn't contained anything that would give away anything major, but he needed it. It was for him. He waited for these letters. They were the only things keeping him sane.
Opening the door, he found Granger already there, seated in a chair. She was giving him a look that he couldn't quite pinpoint, but he decided not to dwell on it. He had to get this over with as quickly as possible.
"Good evening Mister Malfoy. Let's not waste any time, shall we? Albus has told me to send down a couple of students to the Horace's room, he said he needed help organizing some of the potions ingredients. He said he will be waiting there for you."
Nodding to their professor, both students rose to get out of their seats, and moved to get out of the room.
"Good night, Professor." said Hermione, softly.
"Good night, Hermione." she replied.
They both exited the office together, and began their walk to the Potions' classroom. Hermione was still silent, waiting for the right moment to speak. Draco walked much faster than he usually did, desperate to finish his detention as quickly as possible. They finally reached the classroom, and as told, found their Headmaster waiting inside.
"Oh, hello, Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger. I was expecting you."
"Good evening, Professor."
"I won't stay around, I have something to attend to, but the both of you will have to arrange the ingredients in this cabinet in alphabetical order. Shouldn't take long, but I hope the job will be done appropriately and effectively."
"Of course, Professor."
"Excellent. I'll be on my way, good night to the both of you."
With that, he was gone, leaving the two of them alone in the classroom. She saw Draco immediately begin working, with a sense of urgency. She needed to tell him she had it. She was sure he was trying to find it.
"Draco, I...have your letter."
He immediately froze, and turned around as fast as he could.
"You what?"
"I picked it up after it fell out of your pocket. I want to give it back to you." She said, placing the letter on the desk.
He took a few moments to stare at it, before snatching it off the desk, checking to confirm it was his. His eyes drifted back to Granger, before he carefully put the letter in his pocket, making sure it wouldn't fall out.
She had read it.
Fuck.
"Don't think you have some sort of advantage over me now that you've read my letter, because I don't fucking-"
"Advantage? You're always so quick to jump to conclusions-"
"-care that you've seen it. I don't give a fuck."
She frowned at him, moving to join him at the cabinet.
"You know, not everyone is selfish. Some people care."
"And you care for me?" he snorted.
"I...I do. You're not evil, Draco. You're just misguided."
That had hit him like a cold blast of chilly wind. He looked up into her eyes, and could only find her honesty. He knew what she was trying to say. Misguided. Was wrong with his beliefs.
"You can dream I'm misguided all you want Granger, but you know who I am."
"I do know who you are. You are the boy who had no choice. You're being forced to do something you don't want to do. And I know you don't believe in all that bullshit they've fed you. You wouldn't have...you wouldn't have kissed me if you did." she finished.
Her eyes had been soft, and her tone had been gentle. She was still looking at him, waiting for his answer.
"That was a mistake-"
"Twice? You made the same mistake twice-"
"I deeply regret it happening. It was a mistake."
She took a harsh breath in, closing her eyes.
"All I know is that you are not who you think you are. You are not who others think you are. You're so much better than that Draco…"
He locked eyes with her one more time, and that was all it took.
They were against a desk, pushing into each other as much as they could. Draco kissed her with a sense of urgency, and she responded just as enthusiastically. His tongue poked at the entrance of her mouth, and she opened up right away, allowing him in. Their tongues massaged each other, as they frantically clawed at one another.
Her hands were in his hair again, as she bit his bottom lip slightly, causing him to moan. Her body felt like it was lit on fire, and she felt something build up behind her navel.
He ran his hands through her curls, completely intoxicated and unaware of what he was doing. His lips left hers, and latched onto her neck, which coaxed a moan from her. He felt her toying with his hair, as he sat her up on the desk.
She wrapped her legs around his torso, as he pushed into her even more. Their kiss had become more and more passionate, as he slipped his hands underneath her shirt, and placed his hands on her bare waist.
Just as she shifted her legs, she felt his erection against her thigh, and that is when she snapped back into reality. She placed her arms on his shoulders and pushed him away, causing him to lose his balance and bump into the desks behind him.
They were both panting, as they braced themselves against the desks to keep themselves steady.
She heard him growl, looking away from her, still standing against the desk.
She swallowed, not knowing what to do in that moment, as she bit her lip, hard enough to coax blood.
She heard movement, so she looked up to find Draco back at the cabinet, acting as though nothing had happened.
She rose, fixed her shirt, and took a moment to compose herself. She ran her fingers through her hair, and swore she could still feel the remains of his fingers on her skin.
Turning around to fix the desk, she too, got back to work, neither speaking to each other at all for the rest of the duration of their detention.
a/n: another speedy update! I'm practically living off of coffee right now. School for me starts in a week, so wish me luck!
I'd just like to thank everyone that has read this story so far. It means so much to me that others are reading and enjoying my work. Really. You guys are the best.
Super excited yet nervous at the same time to write these coming chapters. Stay on board guys, it about to get a lot more interesting.
Lastly, reviewwwwww. They're really important to me, and help me in writing the story and going forward as an author. Please. Leave a review.
Stay safe and healthy,
Sydney.