Dinner at the hotel, per Father's insistence. Lily and I would come, arms linked with his, so he could show the world the might of Ben Diamond. I was dressing, thinking about Ike, our picnic, and my fear that telling him my theories on Anne Boleyn would finally make him see that I couldn't and wouldn't settle for the role of his mistress. It wasn't how I was raised and educated to be.
I'd chosen to wear black again. Form fitting, the highest of my heels to accessorize it, the dress was a work of art. I hadn't lied when I told Lily that dates were a battlefield. My clothing was my armor, my uniform, and tonight's message was to serve as a reminder to Ike that I was more than worthy of his love and devotion. A pair of earrings that looked like they were dripping diamonds, my dark lipstick, and even my hair hanging completely loose in rivets of curls were part of if. The bodice of my skin tight dress was lace, the only real sign of femininity in a dress that screamed 'woman'.
Lily knocked as I was finishing my makeup. When I granted her access, having chosen to start locking the door, she took a look at my appearance and shook her head with a smile.
"Lace, black, and tight as hell." Our eyes met and she gave another shake of her head. "No bows, Liz?"
"I loath bows." I answered as I sat back at the vanity. "If I choose a dress that has one, that has no useful purpose on the dress, I ask for a seamstress to carefully remove it." I watched her in the mirror as I put the final touches on my face. She was roaming much like my father had, studying the photos in my frames and the fresh flowers I insisted on daily. "I haven't seen you wearing any yourself."
Lily gave a harsh chuckle. "I'm not much of a bow girl, frills aren't my style." She was holding my one family photograph. "What kind of statement is the look for tonight?" It was like I was her teacher, which was insane, she was already married after all.
"A reminder, not a statement." Was my response and I left it at that. "I'm starting to get bored with the hotel."
Another chuckle from behind me. "Get used to it, Liz, since it'll be your home soon enough." I shook my head and decided I looked as good as I could get. "Then again, once you're Queen of the Miramar, it might have more appeal." She shot me a knowing look.
Sighing, I grabbed the small clutch I'd chosen and we went down to meet my darling father.
I'd been correct. Ben Diamond wanted the elite of Miami, and the elite tourists that frequented the hotel to know how enviable he was. With me on his right and Lily on his left, he made the rounds, forcing the host to take the long route to our table. A table that was on prominent display, all the better for the envy to grow, I suspected.
After holding my chair for me, the host disappeared and a bottle of champagne appeared with a waiter attached. And the 'fun' began.
I knew to expect Ike. Hell, I was fairly certain I'd felt his eyes on me as we made our long detour to get to the table. I hadn't expected for Vera to be draped from his arm. For her to engage me in conversation. For her to remind me that, in this scenario at least, she was my rival.
"If you'll all excuse me," I stood, and with a tilt of my head and a tortured look from Ike, made my way to the ladies' room.
I stood facing the mirror, giving myself an internal tongue lashing. I was torn. Wanting to be a friend with the woman I also wanted to replace was beyond painful. Staring into the mirror, into my own eyes, I wondered when I became THIS. A grasping, ambitious woman who coveted another woman to the point of madness. And then Ike's face seemed to replace mine, and I knew that I wanted him beyond what could be considered reasonable.
Giving up, I shook my head and fixed my makeup. Washing my hands and taking the towel offered me by the attendant, I grabbed my bag and started to leave. Vera was entering, and I stepped back to let her by.
"Liz?" I waited, my back to her. "Do you think I need to worry about Ike and Meg?"
I turned to face her and said with all honesty and not a hint of hesitation. "No." And then, without another word, I left.
The rest of dinner was uneventful. We ate, we drank, and when my father suggested after dinner drinks in the bar, I begged off. This night could have ended as soon as I'd gotten home after the beach picnic and I would have been satisfied.
"I feel a headache coming on," when my father looked ready to insist. "I'll just have the driver take me home and head to bed." He relented, seeing God knew what in my eyes. "Goodnight, Father. Lily." And then I walked back through the lobby and into the humid night air and was glad to be done with it.
A long hot bath, ignoring the phone, and the knock on my door telling me it was for me. I couldn't speak to Ike. I needed a break. My head was against the lip of the bath, bubbles up to my chin, as I sat trying to decide what I REALLY wanted.
Going circles in my own mind, thinking of all the ways that getting what I wanted could or would go wrong was making me feel like that feigned headache was going to become a reality. The phone continued to ring, intermittently while I soaked. By the time the water began to become uncomfortably cold, I'd lost count of how many times it had rung, been answered, I was told it was for me, and then another round began.
After I dried, I put on another new nightgown. This one could have been the sister to the dress I wore to dinner. Shorter than I usually preferred, with lace and satin, black as though all light was extinguished. I felt wasteful for wearing it alone. This was lingerie that was meant to be appreciated, but alone I was, and alone I would stay.
"Miss Diamond?" Another quiet knock, and I finally answered. "There's a call for you." Of course there was, Father and Lily seemed to be making a night of it. I told the person on the other side of the door that I would take it. And with a sigh, I picked up the handset.
"Liz," Ike sounded relieved to hear my voice. "Why didn't you answer my other calls?"
"I was in the bath." I stood, wanting to make this a short conversation. "I'm tired, I thought an early night was in order."
He was silent on the other end. I could almost hear him breathing, but he said nothing.
"Well if that's all-" I was about to end the call, but he stopped me.
"It's not," and it was my turn to say nothing. "Liz. I-I can't-"
"I know," I cut him off. "I think I always knew. Goodbye, Ike." And then I placed the headset in the cradle and felt my heart shattering.
The flowers that were waiting for me downstairs were a surprise when I came down late the next morning. I didn't look at the card when Lily handed them to me. I didn't smile. Red roses to commemorate the end of it. How ironic that the rose that meant true love, passion, and desire would mark the end of all of it.
"You slept late," Lily offered, and I barely glanced at her. "Although you look like you didn't sleep a wink."
I hadn't. Not a second of the hours I lay in bed after hanging up the phone was spent resting. I thought I'd loved before, but I'd been a fool. What I felt for Ike was far more intense than anything I'd ever felt in my life. I hadn't been prepared for the pain. I felt sick to my stomach, and then with a rush, I truly felt sick to my stomach. Thrusting the bouquet back into Lily's arms, I dashed to the nearest washroom and purged everything I'd ever considered putting in my stomach.
I was flushing the contents of my stomach when I realized I had an audience. Lily, of course. Feeling sweaty, clammy, and empty, I stood and tried to breathe. "I think I've come down with a bug." I cupped some water in my hand and brought it to my mouth to rinse the vileness from my mouth. "I'm going back to bed." She handed me the roses and I took them absently. I didn't notice that the card was gone, not then, and for that reason I didn't find out what Ike had written for hours.
By dinner time, after finally falling into a fitful sleep, I felt well enough to eat. I was hoping that Lily and my father had chosen to go out again, but could hear their voices in the den and knew it had been in vain. I was pale, I knew because I'd looked at myself in the mirror before coming down, and looked drawn and exhausted. I couldn't wait for my father to point all of that out to me. Nor to remind me that I should always be a beautiful temptress, just in case.
"Liz," he was pretending he was concerned as he took my still clammy hand and drew me further into the room where they'd been having a pre-dinner drink. "Lily told me you weren't feeling well." I shot her a look and she shrugged. Anything to take the heat of herself. "Sit down, sweetheart." Solicitous, he helped me into a comfortable chair.
"Do you want a drink?" Lily asked me, and I shook my head. Alcohol and an empty tender stomach were not a good match. She looked pleased, and I nearly rolled my eyes.
Father had taken his seat and I waited for the next ball to drop. Conversations in this house were never idle talk. They were loaded and plotting. "Isaac sent you flowers." Statement, which didn't surprise me, getting roses wasn't a secret. "And a card." I said nothing, being too tired to even look at the card, I hoped he didn't want me to tell him the contents. I felt my mouth drop open when he pulled it from his pocket. "'Liz. You hung up before I finished. I can't keep pretending. It's you. Only you.' Now, it isn't signed, but we all know the sender." He was smug again, that smile that I hated so much back on his face. "Unless you think poor old Sol still pines for you?"
"I don't have an ounce of privacy here." I shook my head. "I'm not as hungry as I thought I was," I stood up and started to walk away. "Lily?" Her eyes met mine. "Stay away from me."