Tuesday morning
Sally put on her work outfit and helped Ned prepare breakfast for her family. She had a huge video to shoot today, so breakfast was very rushed.
Now that her recipes were becoming very popular among her students, her boss decided to film her doing to solo recipes before, between and after classes. Her work schedule kept her out of the house for a couple of hours longer than usual.
This meant that Ned had to prepare dinner most nights.
After the kids were settled with eating cereal and toast, Sally got ready to go.
"There's a casserole in the fridge, if I'm not home by 6, pop it in the oven at 350 for an hour and make a salad to go along with it. I accidentally ate some cabbage yesterday, so my milk will give J. J. gas, but there's some milk from 2 days ago that's still frozen in the fridge, just reheat some of that, only don't use the microwave, or else the milk will have hot spots."
Ned cradled a bundled up J. J. in his arms. Sally insisted that J. J. be kept warm as to not get a chill.
"Sally, it's going to be fine. Just go. We'll be fine." Ned persuaded her out the door by nudging her shoulder.
"Alright, then. Love you."
"Love you, too, hon. See you later."
As soon as she left, Ned took the blanket off J. J.
"There, you must've been hot in there." He said to the baby, not really expecting an answer.
J. J. stretched his arms as he suckled his pacifier.
He wondered what to do. The kids were off for spring break, which meant no online schooling for a week.
"Time for you girls to go play." He said, ushering the younger ones into the playroom.
"And you kids help me clean up, please."
Rather than being good helping hands, he was met with groans.
"What?" He asked.
"It's spring, dad! We want to relax!" Hannah said.
Ned was astonished.
"Well, everyone earns their keep in this house. There's not much to clean up, it will fly by if JoJo put some music on. And besides, if you clean up now, there will be plenty of time to do what you want."
JoJo nodded and turned up the radio. An upbeat pop song came on and the remaining children began to gather dishes and clean up.
"That's a bit more like it. Wouldn't you agree, J. J.?" Ned asked.
Ned DID get an answer that time.
In the form of a forced grunt, followed by a gross-sounding squish.
He looked down and saw his youngest son making a "I'm filling my diaper" face.
A horrid smell hit Ned's nose.
"Alright, you need a change. Let's go, little man." He said as he took the 5 month old up to his and JoJo's room.
Ned gently placed the baby on the changing table and saw a horrid sight.
The diaper had leaked and a brown stain appeared on J. J.'s sleeper.
Ned's grimaced as he unbuttoned and saw the mess that had become of his son's clothing.
His worst nightmare.
A blowout.
Ned pulled out as many baby wipes as he thought he would need.
And it started...
Ned began by wiping up the mess off the tiny chubby legs before he opened the actual diaper.
A expression that said "oh my Seuss" grew across Ned's face as he opened the diaper up.
"Oh, that's bad." He said as his nose wrinkled from the smell. He wished he had his handy clothespin to plug his nose.
J. J. saw how funny his dad looked and he smiled.
It wasn't so funny for Ned as he began to wipe his son clean.
As he did, he gagged and each time he did, J. J. would giggle.
"Oh, you think this is so funny! You are pleased with yourself!" Ned said.
A smile appeared behind the pacifier. Another gag sent J. J. into a giggle fit.
"Son! You've outdone yourself this time! What did Mommy feed you?" Ned commented as he threw away the 7th baby wipe.
Then he remembered.
Sally said she ate cabbage yesterday and she fed him this morning.
"Of course your mother would leave one of those diapers for me to change. She is so funny." Ned said as he wrapped up the dirty diaper and threw it into the diaper genie. J. J. was now squeaky clean.
This wasn't the first time Ned had to change a blowout diaper. It happened with each and every one of his kids. He'll never forget the first time. JoJo was 8 months old and he had a blowout at his grandparent's house. That was "fun" to clean up.
Even though Ned and Sally changed so many diapers and there have been so many blowouts, they still caught them by surprise. Sometimes the mess would be so bad that they gave up and just tossed the kid into the tub and a onesie would have to be thrown away, even an adorable one.
Dirty diaper disposed of, Ned reached over to grab a fresh diaper and a fresh outfit.
Only one problem, though.
There wasn't a single diaper on the changing table.
He couldn't leave J. J. on the table alone or bring him with him without a diaper on. So, Ned did the next best thing.
"JOJO! GET UP HERE!" Ned shouted over his shoulder.
Within a minute, JoJo appeared from downstairs.
"What's the matter?" He asked, out of breath.
"Where does Mommy keep the extra diapers?" Ned asked.
JoJo's eyes widened.
"I think we're out!"
Ned started to panic.
JoJo smirked. "Just kidding. Mom keeps them in the linen closet."
Ned frowned. "Johnathan Joseph, that's not funny. Go get them!"
JoJo ran off and Ned felt like he was holding a bomb, that at any moment, J. J.'s bladder would give out and soak Ned.
After what felt like an eternity, JoJo returned with a huge package of thick absorbent diapers. Ned practically ripped opened the package and taped a diaper around his youngest child's waist.
"Whew! That was close!" Ned said as he picked up J. J.
J. J. giggled.
Ned looked at him. "You are evil, you know that?"