Chapter Twenty-Three: One Promise Too Late
"This is gonna be a pain in the ass to explain to my boss," Hank sighed.
Connor was smart and didn't comment on that. As a matter of fact, the boy was silent since they left Lucy's room. It wasn't long, but Hank let Connor take a quick fifteen minute nap in there while Hank tied Zlatko to a post.
In all honesty, as much as Hank wanted his gun and phone, he also wanted to get Connor some food. It was probably another reason why he was getting so sick. Hank himself was hungry, but he was so distracted with what was going on that it was somewhat easy to forget. Connor on the other hand was a growing boy. Proper nutrition was important. At the very least, he got Connor a glass of water, courtesy of Lucy, before they took off.
When back-up came, Hank already decided he was going to get Connor on one of the helicopters right away. He'd make sure they took him to a hospital and then later, even though he knew it would be rough for him, the police station. There was a lot he had to share and not just about what happened on the ship.
As for Hank, he just wanted to go home and sleep for days. He wasn't even in the mood for drinking and that was saying something. Usually after a long day, he would drink a lot, attempt Russian Roulette, and then pass out. Sometimes he did leave out Russian Roulette though and would just sleep. This time around, he was missing out on both and he somewhat didn't mind.
"This feels like the longest week of my life," Hank said, shaking his head.
"It's been a little more than a week, I think," Connor said. But he nodded. "It feels like the longest week of my life, too. So exhausting…"
Connor probably wanted to sleep for days on end too. He deserved the rest. He deserved a better life and Hank hoped he could give him that.
"How long until back-up will arrive?" he asked.
"When I find my phone?" Hank said in an almost teasing tone.
Connor huffed. "No," he said. "How long exactly after the call?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure," Hank said, truthfully. "But I know it won't take too long. My boss is waiting for my call for it."
Connor nodded.
"You're not scared, are you?" Hank checked.
Connor frowned. "Of the police? No. I was at one point, I think, but not anymore."
"At one point as in on the ship or during your time with the Sterns?"
Connor looked away. He rubbed his hands together. Hank didn't pry any further into that. Then, as he watched Connor rub his hands, he remembered something. He reached into his pant pockets and pulled out a coin. He handed it to Connor.
The kid's eyes widened when the coin landed in his palm. His eyes brightened at the small object. "My coin!" He held it close to his chest in a tight fist, as if it would disappear again. "Thank you!"
Hank smiled. Now Connor could distract himself with his coin and not worry too much on what was going on. That was the idea anyway. So far it already seemed to work; Connor was tossing the coin up and down and still managing to walk normally.
During Connor's interrogation Hank would see if he could pull some strings and either be the one questioning him, or he would do what he could to at least be in the room with him. For all he knew, the kid wouldn't even talk if Hank wasn't around.
Connor began to slow, Hank got ready to catch him. The kid put his coin away in his pocket. He looked up at Hank. "I'm worried about Luther. You don't think he'll be killed, do you?"
"No," Hank said. "I'm sure he won't be."
Blondie-McAsshole was dead after all and he was the one most likely to kill. He did kill Jerry 2. He also tried to kill Connor by throwing him over the edge. And beating him. And then he also tried to kill Hank as well. Probably Harold solo as well. Out of them all, aside from Zlatko, he was the killer among them. Now that he was dead, Hank figured there wasn't much to worry about.
Then again, he couldn't be too sure about Shaolin. He did casually inject Connor with the needle. The needle wasn't fatal, though. He could snap at any moment and go on a killing spree, though. Similar to what happened with Connor, with the exception it wasn't a killing spree. It was just one person. One person was enough and Hank didn't want him to kill again.
"Do you still hate him?"
Hank sighed deeply. "I don't hate him...I was just angry," he said. "Maybe I was harsher than I should've been but I'm sure you can understand that."
"I think so," Connor said, shrugging. "I was...I felt a bit betrayed by Luther, too…"
"And you have the right to," Hank said, nodding. "There's nothing wrong with feeling like that."
"Yeah…"
Relationships were hard. Maintaining them was harder. It was especially hard after traumatic experiences. Hank was all too familiar with that.
Hank stopped walking and Connor followed suit. He looked up and blinked. The topic of relationships reminded him of someone else. This man also suffered from a relationship loss recently. Jerry. He promised him he would find his brother's killer and he did. A strange sense of pride came with that. He kept a promise, an important one. Jerry had the right to know, it would definitely help with his mental health.
Hank rested a hand on Connor's shoulder. "There's someone I need to see. Let's go to the medical wing first."
"Sure."
XXX
After arriving at the medical wing, Hank told Connor to wait out in the small waiting room. He wasn't sure if Jerry would be able to deal with two people at once. He barely managed to stay conscious with just Hank. And so, Connor sat on one of the chairs in the small room and Hank headed further in. He also told Connor he would get him some medicine.
Hank knocked on Jerry's door gently. There was no response. He wouldn't be surprised if the man was sleeping. He knocked a little louder. There was still no response. He probably should've been patient and tell him later but he was too proud about this promise. So, he did the classless thing and walked in.
He froze on a couple steps into the room. Any pride he had was replaced with dread. He stepped a little closer. Dread was replaced with anger. His hands curled into fists and they shook. He gritted his teeth.
"FUCK!"
He heard Connor running to the room. He busted in. "Hank! Are you okay, what happ- Jerry!"
The man was lying completely still. Blood was on his chest and there was already a pool of it. Jerry's eyes were shut, so he didn't have to see his emotion when he was killed. Hank's revolver was on the floor a few feet away.
"Oh, Jerry…" Connor mumbled, fidgeting.
Hank walked over and grabbed his gun. He glared at the weapon and his grip was so tight that it was surprising it didn't get damaged. His vision blurred and his breathing came out in quiet but rough gasps. His heart was beating roughly against his chest.
He turned and walked past Connor, the boy quickly moving out of his way. "H-Hank…?"
Hank ignored him and continued to leave the medical wing. Connor called after him again, "Hank, where are you going? Hank!"
All Hank felt was anger, no, fury. He kept a promise and for what? For Jerry to get killed before he could tell him? By his own revolver? He didn't work so hard trying to keep promises and feel competent again just for murders to continue! Even if it wasn't by his own weapon it wouldn't have made a difference. A murder was a murder.
The problem with it having been his weapon was that, if someone else came in before him, he would be the suspect. He would look more and more like the murderer. At first he thought it didn't matter if no one knew he had a revolver, but he knew that the Sterns no doubt reported that the weapon was his.
"Hank! Please, where are you going?"
He was going to kill Zlatko Andronikov, that's where he was going. This would be the first murder he actually committed. Not one by accident, someone trying to frame him. One that he was in full control of. He was going to murder him. He deserved it. He deserved to die after everything he's done.
Connor ran in front of him and spread his arms. Hank stopped. His glare didn't go away when he met Connor's eyes. The kid looked determined if not a little frightened at the same time. It was brave of him to get in Hank's way.
"What's going on?"
"What's going on is that everyone is fucking dying because of me," Hank snapped. He managed to keep his voice at a normal volume. "I'm supposed to protect people but everyone has been getting murdered!"
Connor lowered his arms and stepped back, as if he was shocked. Hank didn't know what he was shocked about and he didn't care. He wanted to move past him and get to Zlatko. He didn't want to hurt him in order to do that, though, and he knew the boy would keep blocking his way. Fucking bastard kid.
"Is that what you think? That this is your fault?" Connor asked, sounding too surprised. "Hank-"
"EVERYONE IS GETTING MURDERED BECAUSE OF ME!"
He was exhausted. He was so fucking exhausted. He couldn't take much more of this. He wanted all this to end. One minute he had inspiration to keep going but now, after this, his pain and wanting to give up on his impulses was too strong.
He didn't expect Connor to understand. He didn't blame him either. He was a kid. But much to Hank's surprise, the kid actually glared at him. He was so consumed in his emotions that he didn't see Connor's slap coming. It was hard enough to snap his head to the side. Hank looked back at him.
"Hank fucking Anderson! You're being a hypocrite!"
"I'm being a hypocrite," he repeated, dryly.
"Yes! You just told me an hour or so ago that what happened to me isn't my fault!" Connor shouted. "You said it was beyond my control and I couldn't do anything about it!"
"Connor-"
"No, shut up and listen to me!"
Hank blinked, surprised at the aggressive tone and words from him. He didn't respond and simply kept his mouth shut.
"These murders aren't your fault! You had nothing to do with these, you couldn't stop it." Connor's voice was slowly calming down for now. "You said yourself, these are just frames to make you look like you did it, but it's not true! You're not the one who killed these people!"
Connor seemed to be running out of breath from all the yelling but he didn't stop. He did take some quick pants before continuing, though. "You've been working so hard to keep promises and saving people and you know what? That's enough! I don't care what you or anyone says, you're a good person!"
There was silence after that with the exception of Connor panting quietly. Hank knew this was making his sickness worse. He could see some sweat forming on Connor's forehead and he didn't doubt his heart was beating roughly.
Connor swallowed hard. His glare went away and he looked almost desperate now. "Please, Hank...Believe me."
Hank sighed. He didn't say anything. He let Connor's words sink in and continued to watch the boy closely. Connor wasn't wrong when he said that he was being a hypocrite. Hank told him not to blame himself and now he was doing that. He did feel like these were two drastically different situations, though.
Maybe Hank did want to believe that these murders weren't his fault. Fuck was it hard, though. He always went back to the thought that he was with the police and as such, he was supposed to protect people. That was his goal on this ship from the start. Find the Sterns and stop them from causing harm. But Hank didn't do that. He made it worse. How was he supposed to believe otherwise?
"You put so much pressure on yourself." Connor's weak voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He shook his head. "I think you working as hard as possible is enough."
Hank still didn't say anything. The grip on his gun did loosen and the rest of his muscles also started to lose their tension. His anger was more so replaced with an almost numb feeling as he let Connor's words continue to sink in.
Connor hesitated but he stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around Hank and Hank tensed again. "Please, Hank…Don't hate yourself."
Hank closed his eyes. He gently returned Connor's hug and rubbed his back. He was a good kid. It was admirable that he was willing to put himself in harm's way, considering that in his rage, Hank really was close to wanting to hurt him. He would never forgive himself for that. Anger did all kinds of things to people. He hated it.
"We can make it through this together."
Hank huffed a quiet laugh. It was strange having the kid be the one reassuring him this time. But he nodded. "Yeah. We can make it through this mess." He paused. "Thank you, Connor."
Author's Note: I told you Connor gives it to Hank xD Hank gave it to Connor and now it's Connor's turn to pay him back. Also, sorry not sorry about Jerry. He's with his twin now at least!
Two more and we're done.
That's all for now. I'll see ya'll in the next chapter.
Thanks for reading!
~Kurosaki