Thanks for another review, moira4eku. Yeah, the trauma doesn't end when everyone is safe. That's why support is so important.

Again, I'm not a legal expert, so feel free to help me out if anything's glaringly unrealistic.

Warning: Only mild creepiness and some strong emotions. I prescribe hugs.

Setting: Right where we left off, Hotch's point of view. His thoughts morph into a flashback and then back to the present.

Surviving 17: Soften the Blow

"Will they try him for the murders of each state separately?" Morgan asked me.

"Probably; it will mean a lot of time and bother," I answered.

"How is Heathbridge paying for his lawyer?"

"Cook said the lawyer is a panel attorney, but also an acquaintance of Heathbridge's mother. He helped her set her affairs in order when she was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease."

"So, he could be working with him as a personal favor." He sighed. "Lawyer jokes aside, how crooked does a guy have to be to willfully defend a man like Heathbridge?"

"Unfortunately, while a lawyer likes for his client to be in the right, it's more important for him to win the case than to have the moral high ground. Sometimes he'll even take a case he knows he can't win, simply because it's high-profile and can help advance his career. But we don't know the motivation here."

Morgan looked like there was something he'd like to say about that, but he seemed to change his mind. Maybe it was because he had too much respect for my previous career as a prosecutor. "Is there some way we can appeal to have him tried for everything in Virginia?"

"We could try, but I doubt it would do much good. Maybe if we pushed the point that the crime scene is in Virginia and our only surviving witness is a Virginia resident. I'm not sure if that's fair to the other victims, though, let alone their families."

"Do we know Heathbridge will plead guilty?"

"No word on that, yet."

"When is the arraignment?"

"It was going to be tomorrow, but it's been pushed to Wednesday to allow time for transport to Maryland."

"So, it's a done deal."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"You're going to be there?"

"Yes. They'll want Rossi, too, as the arresting agent. Not a word to Reid about this yet, though."

"No, of course not… Do you think he feels an attachment to Heathbridge?"

I didn't want my opinion to bias Morgan. "Do you?"

He thought it over. "When we first went into that room, Reid seemed almost like he didn't recognize us. He only snapped out of it when Heathbridge seemed ready to cut his own throat. That's an indication of attachment, isn't it?"

I nodded. "I noticed when he said Heathbridge came back from work—he said, 'Al got home.' True, it was Heathbridge's home, but not Reid's."

"A possible subconscious slip… Reid spent so much time in that place with this guy, he started thinking of it as home without realizing it."

"That was my thought."

"Oh, man… he has a long way to go, doesn't he?"

"I've arranged a therapy appointment for him Wednesday afternoon. It can be rescheduled if you're not done with debriefing by then."

"Okay. I tried to get him to leave out some of the details, but I think being so thorough helps keep his emotions disengaged."

"It's fine. Like I said, it can be rescheduled if necessary."

We turned our attention back to the others as Garcia's voice rose in her hurried, uncertain way.

"...so weird to be keeping normal office hours… We have time. I feel like going out. Anyone want to go out?"

"I think we should go back to my place," said Rossi.

"Dinner at Rossi's—can I bring the boys?" JJ asked.

"Sure, bring everyone."

Morgan and I rejoined the group.

"If you want, you can ride over with someone else while I pick up Jack," I told Reid.

"Oo, me!" Garcia exclaimed. "Ride with me."

Reid smiled. "Okay, looks like I've been claimed."

"All right," I said. "I'm going to finish up some work in my office first, so I might be an hour or so behind you."

"You'll miss the food prep time," Rossi said good-naturedly. "Show up just in time to eat."

"That doesn't sound fair," said Morgan.

"Ah, but you're thinking of preparation as work. Cooking is an art. Haven't I taught you that by now?"

I left the others chatting as they packed up for the day. I hadn't done much work on our consulting job since I had spent most of the day observing Reid's interviews. I checked over our shared files and added some notes to what my agents had sent in. Then I checked my email and found a new one from Cook.

Mason Farrow, Heathbridge's lawyer, had contacted Cook on Heathbridge's behalf. Heathbridge said that he would be pleading not guilty of all charges unless he could have a meeting with Reid. The proposal was ridiculous—there was more than enough evidence to convict Heathbridge of murder, even without Reid's testimony. However, Heathbridge agreed to plead guilty to all of the murders he was charged with, plus to put names to the remains we hadn't identified yet, if the meeting took place. He wouldn't so much as acknowledge the question of a rape charge.

I had no intention of letting Reid anywhere near Heathbridge, but I did not like the idea of being blind-sided. If we could find a compromise, maybe we could persuade Farrow to get Heathbridge's Virginia arraignment done first, and I certainly wanted to expedite the identification of all of the remains found on the property. It was a delicate situation, to say the least. I had the feeling that if it were up to Reid, he would not want the death penalty for his captor, and he would not mind Maryland's sentence influencing other judges in his favor. But Cook was leaving the decision with me, and I had less than a day and a half to decide what to do.

I shouldn't spend the time at Rossi's… but Reid needed his friends around him, and Jack could use the positive environment too. I packed up quickly and went to fetch Jack.

.

"Sorry again for getting the check to you late," I told Jessica as we were heading outside.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "It's completely understandable."

"You wanna come to agent Rossi's house with us?" Jack asked her.

"I'm sure Dave wouldn't mind," I said.

"Thanks, but I'd better get home," said Jessica. "I'll see you soon." She hugged Jack and we got into our cars.

"I'm glad you didn't have to go out of town today," Jack said.

"Yeah, me too." I waited for Jessica to back out of the driveway before putting the SUV in gear. "My team is supposed to stay grounded for the whole week if other teams are able to cover for us."

"I thought being grounded was bad."

"Sometimes it is. But right now we're grounded because they want to give us some time off. We all lost a lot of sleep while Spencer was missing, and it's going to take us a while to get ready to work a normal case again. We have therapy appointments to go to, and paperwork to file. That kind of thing." And court appearances to attend…

"When's my next therapy appointment?"

"Hm. That's a good question. I think it's at the end of the month. Remind me when we're home and I'll check the calendar. Do you want me to see if I can get it moved up?" I looked in the rearview mirror and saw him shrug. "I'll try to call them and see if they have an opening sooner."

"Okay."

I should have thought about this. It was not just the team that had been affected by Reid's kidnapping. When we had still not found him on Monday, I had decided that it was time to break the news to Jack. Much as I dreaded telling him, I also did not want to keep him in the dark. If Reid died, Jack would feel that I had lied to him by omission. Maybe we would find him alive and well, but if not, I needed to soften the blow.

It was late when I got home that night. I was tired and frustrated. I apologized to Jessica for being so late and saw her off. Then I went to Jack's room and sat on the bed beside him.

"Daddy?" Jack asked.

"Hey. Don't get up. I just came to talk to you," I said softly.

"Did you find the unsub?"

"Not yet." I petted his hair. "When someone is killed or kidnapped, sometimes it's part of my job to tell their family what happened. It's hard because it's some of the worst news they'll ever get, and I have to try to help them get through it."

"Did you have to do that today?"

"I have to do that now. You remember when I had you call Aunt Jessica on Saturday?"

"Yeah. You had to leave right away even though it was the weekend."

"That's because Penelope told me that Spencer was missing. I know we're not his real family, but we both care about him. I was hoping we would find him right away so I wouldn't have to tell you while he was still missing, but we haven't been able to yet."

As I talked I saw Jack's chin start to shake. "He's missing? Since Saturday?"

"Yeah. That's why I've been gone so much. None of us want to stop looking until we find him."

Jack reached toward me, and I scooped him into my arms.

"He's not answering his phone?" he sniffled.

"No. He doesn't have it with him."

"Was he driving?"

"No; he was walking in town."

"Does he have his gun?"

"No, he doesn't."

He shakily sucked in a breath. "So… something bad must have happened to him."

Sometimes I wished Jack weren't quite so intuitive. I couldn't lie to him. "We don't know exactly what happened yet."

"Is he gonna die?"

It's strange how children dare to say out loud the things we try to avoid even thinking to ourselves. In that way, Jack was braver than I. "I hope not, buddy. But we just can't know yet."

"You have to find him," he said, looking at me through tear-filled eyes. "You just have to."

"I'm going to give it everything I've got. I promise." I kissed his forehead and hugged him again. I didn't know what else to say.

Jack buried his face in my neck. "Can I sleep in your room?"

I knew neither of us was likely to sleep well after this, but we both needed it. I stood up and pulled him along with me. "Yeah. But try to go right to sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

I tucked him into my bed and went to the bathroom. I wanted to skip brushing my teeth, but after all of the coffee I'd had lately, the lingering taste and feel of it would have kept me awake. Jack wasn't quite asleep when I got back and hastily changed into an undershirt and sweatpants. Exhausted, I crawled into bed beside him.

Jack sleepily rolled toward me and put his arm over me.

"Good night, Jack." I kissed him once more and laid my head down at last.

"Good night… Daddy?"

"Mhm?"

"Should I pray for Spencer?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Pray for the team too. That we'll do our best."

"I'll ask Mommy to help you find him."

"Okay. Now, try to go to sleep. I love you."

"Love you too."

And as Jack and I were giving in to fatigue, worried but safe, Reid was almost a hundred miles away—tied down, pretending to be happy about the sociopath curled around him.

I brought my thoughts back to the present as I turned into Rossi's driveway. No work for the moment. We had to help Reid back to a feeling of normalcy to combat the strain of the day.

"What do you think we're going to eat?" Jack asked as I pulled up behind JJ's car.

"I don't know. But you know how agent Rossi likes to cook Italian."

"Will there be dessert?"

"You'll have to wait and see. And don't ask our host; it's not polite."

Jack seemed happy enough right now—the famous resilience of children at work—but I knew that he would look back on Reid's abduction with anxiety for some time, just as he had the fading memory of Haley's death. Reid was alive, but this was fresher. Jack was older now, more able to process what had happened. I needed to make sure that I gave him as much time and attention as I could right now.

But there was still so much to be done away from home. It seemed that I could never win. The balance of attention which I gave to helping others and to raising my son was something that I could never seem to get quite right.

I put my hand on Jack's shoulder and we walked up to the house together. "I wish I could be with you all the time," I told him.

He smiled up at me. "That wouldn't be fair."

"You don't think so?"

"Uh-uh. Unless I could come to work with you. But I have to go to school."

"You're so right. What was I thinking?"

He grinned. "Can I ring the doorbell?"

"Sure."

I hope ending on a fluffy note brightens your day. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.