Hello, wonderful readers! We apologize for missing our weekly update. Given our current circumstances, we struggled to find the time to update, despite our desire to do so. We are also sorry that we have not yet responded to our generous reviewers. We absolutely appreciate each review we receive. Thank you for understanding. Please enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 23:

Meanwhile, Joe, having moved into his own room upstairs, and Jamie were playing their third game of checkers after both being checked out by Paul again.

"King me," Joe ordered, placing his piece at the end of the board.

Jamie made no movement to grant Joe's request, or even to acknowledge that he heard Joe speak.

"Uh, Jamie?" Joe snapped in front of Jamie's pensive face to gain his attention.

"What?" Jamie jumped. "Oh, sorry, Joe." He scrambled to place a checker piece on Joe's.

Joe sighed. "Jamie, please, I know when something's wrong with you." He waved his hand over the board to dismiss the game. "Just talk to me. We've always been able to talk about anything. Let's not stop now."

The younger teen leaned back in his chair, letting it balance on two legs before tilting forward again. "Nothing I want to talk about," he maintained, though the redhead longed to tell someone, anyone other than his father, how awful he was feeling.

"Well, I do," Joe claimed. "I mean, I know I may not have been all there once I got hurt, but I do remember some stuff," he explained. "I remember being so scared that they'd do something to you, helpless that there wasn't anything I could do to stop him, worried when Pa was gone that he'd never come back," Joe said, meaning every word he said. "I was depending on Griff to take care of everything, but I hated having to ask that of him when he was in just as bad a spot as you and me."

Jamie's eyes darted to the door. Even just hearing Griff's name made him wonder how he was doing in the next room, but Jamie could not bring himself to visit the recovering man.

"Does that make you think any less of me?" asked Joe. He stared Jamie down, demanding an answer.

Jamie snapped his gaze away from the door to meet Joe's searching eyes, shocked his brother could even think such a thing. "Of course not," he said. "You were hurt. And we had no way of knowing what was going to happen next, no way to defend ourselves, or help Pa…" Jamie's breathing increased its frequency. "J-Joe…" he stuttered. "God, I thought you were going to die right in front of me." He started to shake visibly.

"Hey, come here," Joe said, inviting his younger brother into a hug.

The two brothers held each other for a long moment before a wince from Joe broke them apart.

"Joe, I'm sorry! I didn't hurt you, did I?" Jamie asked almost in a panic.

"I'm alright. You couldn't hurt me or anyone even if you tried," Joe quipped giving Jamie a lopsided grin.

"Joe," Jamie began. "I did hurt someone."

Joe sat up straighter, grateful that the laudanum was taking full effect in his system. "Oh come on, little brother, who did ya think you hurt?" He tried to make light of the situation but when he saw the distress written all over Jamie's pale face, his smile faded. "What is it, Jamie?"

"You don't remember, do you?"

"You're gonna have to be more specific than that. I mighta been in and out of consciousness but like I said, I do recall some things. Now, what's this all about?"

Jamie stood up and started pacing nervously. "Gabe… He had me and Griff fight and…" Jamie stopped and turned to look Joe in the eye, wondering if that jogged a memory.

"I suspected something was going on from all the noise and shoutin'. I just couldn't piece it altogether. Did Griff hurt you?" Joe asked carefully, not wanting to jump to conclusions and at the same time not wanting to shut down Jamie if something else had happened that he wasn't aware of.

"No! I mean...no, not like that. Griff, well, he coulda hurt me, really hurt me, but he didn't and I… Joe, I didn't pull back on my punches."

"Jamie, I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt him, and Griff probably could've taken it anyway. What else has got you worked up?"

"I said..." Jamie paused, drew a deep breath then continued in one great big rush, "I said some things. Before that. And I figure maybe Griff mighta thought I meant what I said. And maybe...maybe I was trying to prove something when I hit him! Oh I don't know! I'm just so confused. I don't know what I'm feeling or how I should feel! You wouldn't understand!"

"Then help me understand. What was it that you said? It couldn't have been that bad," Joe prodded more firmly this time. He had to get Jamie to keep on talking and not bottle his conflicting feelings all up inside.

"They thought he was my brother. I said, 'he ain't my brother. He just works for us.' I don't know why I said it. I guess it was because, he just let 'em push him around. He didn't defend himself. Pa was gone. You were hurt so bad, I thought you were gonna… and I was just so scared!" Like a floodgate bursting open, Jamie found himself pouring out his feelings. Feelings he had struggled to deal with over the last three days. "And Griff did nothing!"

Joe nodded thoughtfully, finally understanding the internal conflict his young brother was fighting. "Sit down, Jamie. Go on."

A strange and overwhelming feeling of relief combined with shame at his admission washed through Jamie. He stopped his pacing and sat down, feeling breathless.

"Take a deep breath, alright?"

Jamie did as Joe advised, but didn't feel any better.

"There's no shame in a man admitting to being afraid of anything. Ever. I want you to know that first and foremost, you got that?"

Jamie looked Joe in the eye and gave a small nod of acknowledgement before shaking his head in disagreement. "But, you're not afraid of anything!"

"That's not true. I was afraid. I was afraid of what the Tolivers would do to you and to Pa, Griff, Hop Sing. Even me," Joe admitted, letting his hand find its way to the top of Jamie's head.

"No foolin'?" Jamie asked, picking up a check piece and idly fiddling around with it in his hand to get rid of his nervous energy. "You were scared?"

"Terrified," Joe answered without missing a beat. "And I'm sure we weren't the only ones who was afraid. You can ask Pa, or Hop Sing, or-"

Jamie finished Joe's thought before he could. "Griff? Yeah, I know he was afraid," Jamie explained.

"What do you mean by that?" Joe probed.

"I mean… Is that why Griff didn't fight back when Gabe said all those awful things?" Jamie asked. "Because… I just kept thinking, maybe if he had fought back then, Gabe wouldn't have taken advantage of us like he did."

The rationale was tenuous at best, but Joe could see how his younger brother might have developed some resentment for Griff over the last two days, if that were the idea to which Jamie clung. "Do you blame Griff for what happened?" Joe tried to keep any judgement out of his tone.

"No" Jamie said quickly. "A little, maybe? I don't know!" he said, exasperated. "But even if I did, that's no excuse for beating on him when Gabe told me to," Jamie cried. "And he was already hurt, and I took my chance to feel powerful and tough." Verbalizing those feelings made them feel all the more real to Jamie. "I'm just as bad as the Tolivers."

"No," Joe quickly refuted. "No, Jamie. Don't you ever think that."

"How is what I did to Griff any different than what Gabe did to us?" Jamie slumped downward into his seat. "He'll never forgive me for what I said and did. And still…" Jamie launched out of his seat and paced around Joe's room. "It's like a little part of me doesn't want him to! My God!" He plopped down onto the side of Joe's bed, careful not to sit on Joe. "I sound insane!" he lamented.

"You've been through a lot. We all have. Tell you what would make you feel less insane- Why don't you go talk to Griff? At least just see him. I'm sure he's feeling as crazy about all of this as you do," Joe suggested encouragingly and hoping that the two of them could get past the trauma and things can get back to normal.

"I can't!" Jamie blurted out. "I can't face him."

"Jamie, you can't keep avoiding him. You'll just be hurtin the both of you."

"Okay, but just to see him, that's all," Jamie relented, hesitantly. "I don't think he'll be in the mood to talk with me."

"Good. We'll continue this later," Joe smiled encouragingly as Jamie removed the breakfast tray that held the checker-board from his lap. "And tell Griff I say howdy."

This time, Ben stayed in the room while Doctor Paul Martin examined Griff as he waited for the physician's prognosis and his instructions on how to best take care of the young man over the coming weeks.

"What… What's that?" Griff demanded when he saw the doctor holding up a needle.

Ben placed his hand on Griff's forehead. "It's alright, Griff, just relax. Doc's gonna give you something for the pain."

"No, I don't need it," Griff refuted. "Skip that."

Paul sighed in frustration. Griff was always a difficult patient when it came to administering pain relieving medicine. His fear of an addiction from one bad experience hung over him like a dark cloud. "Very well but you'll be wanting it soon enough."

"I can handle it," Griff persisted, bracing himself.

"Ben, I'm glad you're here. Can you hold Griff down and keep him still while I examine him?" Doc Martin asked.

"I don't need to be held," bristled Griff. "Just go and get it over with."

Griff's brusqueness surprised Paul, but he hated to judge given the awful experience Griff had just endured. Ben, however, took note of the out-of-character behavior.

"I can't take a risk of you moving involuntarily in a way where I'd accidently hurt you," Paul explained patiently.

"I've got him," Ben said, keeping both hands firmly planted on the young man's shoulders. "Just relax, Griff."

Paul carefully removed the bandages and dressing from his patient's injured abdomen. He was pleased the stitches were still intact, but there was some swelling around the area and bruising that needed to be looked at. As carefully as he could, he pressed down on Griff's stomach and felt for anything that he needed to be concerned about.

Despite bracing himself, Griff wasn't prepared for the level of pain that followed. He cried out and whimpered incoherently, wishing he could just pass out.

"Easy, Griff," Ben soothed.

Paul looked his patient in the eye. "Young man, I can take the pain away if you let me. Believe me, it's only going to get worse. We still need to clean that burn wound on your hand again."

"Okay," Griff nodded, unable to withstand the pain any longer. "Okay, I'll take it."

Paul administered a dose of morphine into Griff's arm and waited for the change in his patient's heartbeat and breathing to indicate the medication was taking hold. "You know, you could have saved yourself that episode," he admonished. "But you're just so stubborn. If I didn't know any better, I would think he's got some Cartwright blood in him," he joked.

Ben held back a snicker.

"Now, where was I?" Paul said, glad that he was able to provide his patient some pain relief as he continued with his work.