"Why are we eating lunch outside?" Aiden asks as Jade hands him part of a sandwich

"Because sometimes it's nice to get out and enjoy the fresh air." Jade smirks as she adjusts herself on the blanket next to him, her own sandwich in her hand "It's called a picnic. Grandma and I used to do this all the time when I was your age."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay." Aiden shrugs, biting into his peanut butter and jelly

Their picnic isn't anything fantastic. Jade had grabbed a random blanket out of the linen closet and spread it on the grass in the backyard, then brought lunch outside for them both. Aiden was of course intrigued because it was something new and exciting, and had gone right along with her.

Unfortunately, Jade knows his excitement won't last long. She knows that today is the day she has to have a rather tough discussion with him about Ashely. At first she had avoided the topic, letting her son know that Ashely was safe whenever he asked her about her. That wasn't a lie necessarily, Ashley wasn't in any danger or in any pain anymore, but Jade was really unsure about how to start the conversation. Aiden hadn't ever really been exposed to anything like this before before, and since Ashley's death he was being exposed to brand new things every day and that was overwhelming enough for such a young child. She didn't want to make things any worse on him.

Kaitlyn, however, was pushing her daughter to have the conversation sooner rather than later. She had made the suggestion to Jade during the car ride back to Los Angeles after meeting Ashley's parents at the park, hinting at the idea that it might solidify the closure Jade needed and help her to really move on from it. Jade agreed, and thought about possibly even doing it that night to just get it over with, but then they picked Aiden up from Beck's. The little boy was so excited to tell her about his day and all the things he and Beck had done together, and Jade was excited to hear about it too. She was thrilled that her son and her boyfriend were getting along so well, and she didn't want to ruin his mood. So, she decided that she would wait until the next day instead.

"The sun feels so nice and warm." Aiden remarks, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as he chews the last bit of his sandwich "We should have a picnic everyday."

"Everyday?" Jade chuckles, turning to face him "We'll see."

"Please?"

"I said we'll see."

"Okay."

"Aiden?" Jade says gently "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Is it an important something?" Aiden asks, raising his eyebrow at her

She can't help but smile a bit as he does so. He usually contorts his face in that way when he's confused or inquiring about something seriously, and her family has mentioned to her several times that he looks just like her when he does. The more he does it, the more she sees it.

"It is." She nods

"Okay." Aiden shrugs "You can talk to me about it."

Jade sighs and reaches over, grabbing her son and gently pulling him into her lap. She presses a kiss to the top of his head and combs through his hair with her fingers to stall a bit as she searches for her words. She's rehearsed this in her head a bit, but she wants to make sure she gets it right, she might traumatize them both even further if she doesn't.

"Baby, I want to talk to you about Ashley."

"Is she coming to visit us?" Aiden asks, looking up at his mother with hopeful eyes

"No, no she's not."

"Oh..."

"Aiden, Ashley is..." Jade hesitates, her voice catching as she speaks "Ashley...died."

"Died?"

"Yeah."

"Like the flowers?"

When Jade and Aiden had first arrived home from the hospital, dozens of friends of Kaitlyn and Chris had sent the family flowers. They were pretty, at first. Over time they slowly began shriveling up and rotting, and Kaitlyn ended up throwing most of them out.

"Uh, sort of." Jade nods "She...her body stopped working. She isn't alive anymore."

"Why?"

"She got very hurt and her body was very damaged, and there wasn't anything anyone could do to help her." Jade explains "She didn't just get thrown away, like the flowers. They buried her under the grass in something called a cemetery, it's where they put people when they die so that their friends and family can still visit them."

"Well let's go!" Aiden jumps up "I haven't seen her in a long time! I want to visit her!"

"Aiden..." Jade sighs, grabbing his hand and pulling him back into her lap "It doesn't work like that. Her body stopped working, remember? She can't hear or see or talk to us anymore."

"We don't even get to say goodbye? That's not fair!"

"You're right." Jade hugs him tightly, letting a tear slide down her cheek "You're right, it's not."

"Mommy..." Aiden turns and hides his face in her chest "I'm sad."

He's crying now, Jade can hear the shakiness in his breathing and can feel his hot tears on her shirt. She begins to cry too, unable to control herself. Not only is she upset about the loss of her friend, but she's also upset that her son is so visibly distraught as well.

"It's okay to be sad." She tells him, pulling away from him a bit so she can make eye contact with him "Hey, look at me."

She grabs the bottom of her shirt and uses it as a makeshift handkerchief, wiping Aiden's tears off of his face.

"It's okay to be sad." Jade repeats "It's okay to feel whatever else you're feeling too. It won't last forever. Sometimes you might see something that reminds you of her, and you might be sad for a little while. That happens to me every now and again. But it will only be for a little while."

"Are you going to die?"

She had expected this question to come up, her mother had warned her that it usually does when young children first have to deal with death. She doesn't want to scare him, but she doesn't want to lie and create a false reality for him either.

"I will, one day." She says, then hurries to finish her explanation when she sees the look of terror cross her son's face "But not for a very long time! Aiden, everybody dies. Normally people don't die until they're very old, like way way older than Grandma and Papa. What happened to Ashley very rarely happens. I'm going to keep living for a very long time, and so will you."

They'll both have the chance to grow very old now, all thanks to Ashley. One day, when Aiden is really old enough to comprehend and appreciate it, Jade will tell him that too. She'll spare him the details for now, going too in-depth as to what really happened will probably only confuse him more.

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise." Jade nods, wrapping her pinky around his "Do you want to ask me any questions? It's okay if you do."

"Did it hurt?" Aiden asks her "When she died?"

"I don't know." Jade admits to him "I hope that it didn't."

"Me too." Aiden nods "Mom..."

"Yes baby?"

"If we don't get to see Ashley anymore...what if I forget about her? I don't want to forget her!"

"You won't, Aiden. I promise." Jade assures him "I promise I'll always have stories to tell you about her so that you don't."

"Alright..." Aiden nods slowly "Can you tell me one now?"

"I..." Jade hesitates "Sure. Would you like to hear about the first time she met you?"

"Yeah." Aiden smiles "Tell that story."

"Okay." Jade smirks, shifting Aiden on her lap so that he's facing her "I didn't know Ashley until you were already born, but when I first met her you were only a few hours old."

"I was still a baby?"

"Oh very much so, yes." Jade nods "You were born around breakfast time, and I met Ashely around dinner time that same day. Mr. Ron threw her in...in that room where we used to live...and I was really scared."

"Why?"

"A lot of reasons." Jade admits "For starters, I was holding this brand new baby that I didn't want anything to happen to, and I also had no idea who Ashley was."

Jade still remembers the moment so vividly. Ashley was starting to regain consciousness when Ron threw her into the room but he didn't stay to make sure she woke up, just as he had done with her a year prior. She hadn't really known what to do and just sat on her bed watching Ashley, holding Aiden tightly. She was so torn between wanting to help the poor girl who was doomed to the same fate that she was, and wanting to protect her newborn. When Ashley sat up and looked around, their eyes locked on each other and they just stared for a moment. It was finally Jade that broke the silence, asking Ashley if she was okay.

"But she was a good guy..." Aiden adds "Wasn't she?"

"She was, but I didn't know that yet." Jade explains "She was scared too, because she didn't know where she was or who I was...or who you were. She asked me where we were and I told her I didn't know, because I really didn't...and then she asked me about you."

Ashley had asked Jade if the baby was her's and when she confirmed that he was, she asked if he was a boy or a girl. He was wrapped up in a faded yellow blanket, and she had no way of being able to tell.

"I told her your name was Aiden Joshua West, she was actually the second person I ever said your name to."

"Who was the first?" Aiden asks

"You were." Jade smiles "As soon as you were born, I knew what your name was. I looked you right in the eye and said 'I love you, Aiden Joshua.'"

"You still say that."

"I know I do. And I still mean it just as much." Jade tells him "After I told Ashley your name, I told her about Mr. Ron, and she was a little scared and a little confused...just like I was. So I invited her to come sit on my bed next to me, and I let her look at your cute little face...and then I let her hold you."

"You did?"

"Mhm." Jade nods "And she did such a good job. She was so gentle with you. That was how you two first met."

"I don't remember that."

"Of course you don't, you were just a little baby." Jade chuckles "But I remember. I was able to tell you the story, the same way I'll tell you more stories about Ashely so that you don't forget about her. And if you ever start feeling sad about her not being here, just remember that you can always tell me, okay? I can help you understand your feelings a little better. So can Grandma, and Papa, and Uncle Tyler-"

"Can Beck?" Aiden asks "Can I talk to him if I want?"

"Absolutely." Jade nods "Yes, absolutely you can talk to Beck if you want to."

"Okay." Aiden sighs "Hey Mom? Sometime...could we maybe go to the...what's the place called where they bury the dead people?"

"The cemetery?"

"Could we go to the cemetery to visit Ashley?" Aiden asks "Even though she can't see us or talk to us?"

"Of course we can." Jade nods "Maybe one day we could go have a picnic there instead. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Jade hugs her son tightly "We'll work on that."

"Did he take it okay?" Beck asks Jade later that evening

He stopped by after Aiden had gone to sleep for the evening. Jade had told him she was going to talk to Aiden about Ashley that day, and he wanted to make sure that they both had the space they needed to process the conversation. But he also wanted to be there for Jade, so he came by after Aiden's bedtime instead of lunchtime like he normally would on a Sunday.

"As okay as a three year-old can, I guess." Jade shrugs "He was sad and confused, but I think he'll be okay."

"He will be." Beck assures her "Jade, I promise you he will be."

"He asked if he could ever talk to you about feeling sad about her." Jade informs her boyfriend "I told him he could, I hope that's okay."

"Of course it is." Beck nods "You know I'm always here for you and for him, no matter what either one of you needs."

"Thank you, I really appreciate that."

"Are you taking it okay?" Beck asks her "Everything that's happened this weekend?"

They hadn't really spoken much about her meeting with Ashley's parents or how it made her feel. Her main concern really when she came to pick Aiden up the previous day was how their day had gone together and whether or not her son had behaved. Jade was also trying to avoid speaking about any of it in front of Aiden until she found a way to explain it all to him. Beck had tried texting her about it later, but she hadn't wanted to talk about it yet.

"I don't know..." Jade sighs "I think...I think meeting her parents and talking about it and then finally telling Aiden...it makes it feel more real. Like I can't just push it out of my head anymore."

"For what it's worth, I think that's a good thing." Beck tells her "Not talking about her or thinking about her unless something happens to trigger a memory...it's not healthy, babe. At least now you have a bit of closure."

"Yeah..." Jade agrees "I...I just think it's going to take a while to really process it...and everything else."

"Can I do anything to help?"

"Will you hold me?" She asks him "Please?"

"Yeah." He nods, opening his arms for her "Of course."

Beck wraps his arms around her and lays back on the couch, gently pulling her with him. She's on top of him, her head resting against his chest but titled to the side so she can breathe. This is probably the most intimate they've been since they got back together, and it's nice. He tries to move his hand towards his waist but he can feel her tense up as he does so, and he moves it back up to gently rub her back instead.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable."

"Don't be sorry..." She says quietly "Sometimes it just freaks me out because for the longest time the only person who would touch me like that was him...and that's immediately where my head goes. But it only takes me a second or two to remember that it's really you...and then it's better."

"We'll still take it slow." He tells her "I just want you to be comfortable."

"Thanks..."

Beck wishes that they could spend the night like this, cuddled up together on the couch. But they're in the middle of her parent's living room. While Kaitlyn or Chris or Tyler might just walk past them no questions asked, Aiden would definitely have a few if he saw them.

"This is nice, yeah?" He says to her

"Yeah..."

"Are you okay?"

"I just haven't been sleeping well."

"I've noticed."

"What?"

"I can see it in your eyes, Jade." Beck sighs "You're exhausted."

"Wow, thanks."

"It wasn't meant as an insult." He's quick to assure her "I just...I wanna make sure you're okay."

"I..." Jade hesitates "When I fall asleep I have nightmares. So I stay awake as long as I can so that hopefully exhaustion just takes over and I don't dream at all."

"Jade..."

"I know, it's not healthy." She admits, tears beginning to sting her eyes "I...I just don't know what else to do..."

"It's going to be okay." He tells her, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head "It will. I'm here for you, so is your family. Everyone loves you and is here to help."