CHAPTER 27
The New Englanders arrived right on schedule accompanied by Sheila and Lucy. Not one of them looked happy about what was about to happen. Cassie looked resolved as did Nick, but the rest looked nervous. And Bonnie could understand. They were counting on Kai to release them from the coven, which given how unpredictable he was, was like making a deal with the devil.
"I'll cast the spell for an eclipse," Bonnie said. "Lucy and Grams will help me. Once that's done, it's all you."
Bonnie, Lucy and Sheila stood in a circle. They held hands and a single black candle burned at the center. The air was thick with magic and electricity. As one they chanted.
"Nocte illa. Mane usque ad vesperam. Eius solem. et luna in ortum diei extremo sita est. Tenebris noctium proferre. Eclipsis vocat. Sit nox illa."
Bonnie felt her magic rise inside of her. It roared to life and crashed through her like a tidal wave. Lucy's and Sheila's magic joined hers. It was a crescendo and Bonnie felt something more powerful than herself take her over. She no longer knew where she began and her family ended. They were one. All that existed was the magic.
Three more times they spoke the magic words. Each time their voices rose a little louder and finally, the candle burst into flames. Then with a loud whoosh it flickered out.
The spell felt as if it was cut short and Bonnie fell to her knees. Sheila buckled and Adam rushed to catch her. Lucy wiped blood from her nose.
"It's done," Lucy breathed.
Bonnie stared around the room in amazement at the darkness that had descended. The spell had been a rush. Her whole body sparked with electricity and she could feel the residual magic from the spell casting in the air. Channeling Sheila and Lucy was powerful, they had power that matched her own.
"I wonder what the humans will make of this," Lucy said with a wicked smile as she glanced out the window.
"Oh, they will have some theory to explain away the impossibility of an unscheduled eclipse," Sheila said. "Believe me, I have seen it a hundred times before."
"Really?" Bonnie asked. "What happened to all your lessons on secrecy?"
"Practice stealth when you can however, some things are too fantastical to be believed," Sheila replied. "Now you lot," she snapped her fingers at the Geminis. "Get to it."
"Yes, ma'am," Kai agreed with a broad grin.
Jo looked paler than usual and her skin had a green hue to it. Her eyes were wide and scared. Bonnie smiled in a way she hoped was reassuring.
"You'll be just fine, Jo."
Jo nodded, but Bonnie's words had done nothing to diminish the fear in her eyes.
Bonnie and the rest of her family took a step back. The Geminis all gathered around Jo and Bonnie watched with bated breath as they cast the spell to keep Jo alive.
XXX
Kai personally didn't care one way or the other if Jo survived the merge or not. If she kicked the bucket, he would be free to get rid of the rest of his siblings. But he knew Bonnie might never speak to him again if he went down that road. So he supposed it was best for him as well if this whole deal of theirs went the way it was meant to.
"Custodire et facere mortale. Tolle quod mysticum, quod est Ordinarius et relinquam. Ut essentia est, sed non vitam."
Kai could feel the change in the air when the spell was complete. The air was full of magic and he breathed it in.
Soon, he would have magic for real. There was no doubt in his mind he would come out the winner. The merge was equal parts mental fortitude and strength. Since they were children, Jo had always been the scaredy-cat while Kai was the risk-taker. He saw what he wanted and he took it. When someone tried to bully him, they discovered a monster underneath the surface. When someone tried to bully Jo she came crying to him and he took care of that too. Proving he actually did care about Jo unlike what she herself believed.
The Geminis took a step back and he moved toward Jo. She looked at him with wide eyes. He didn't know what fear felt like, but he knew that was what he saw in her eyes.
"Ready, sissy?"
"Ready as I will ever be."
"Thank you for this," Kai said and found he meant it.
"Go fuck yourself."
Kai chortled. Then he took her hands in his.
XXX
The merge had barely started and in the next second Jo fell to the floor. Bonnie cried out and rushed to her side. Others clustered around Jo on the floor. Bonnie cupped her face and tried to wake her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nick check her pulse.
Kai was on the floor to except no one was worried about him. Bonnie was, but she knew he was alive. It was Jo, who had taken the biggest risk today. She had walked in here not knowing whether or not she would walk out again and Bonnie had promised her she would.
"I can't find a pulse," Nick whispered.
"Let me see," Sheila shoved everyone out of the way until she was kneeling next to Jo. She felt around for a pulse. She looked up at Bonnie with a grief stricken expression. Her lips were pursed into a thin line and the wrinkles around her eyes seemed deeper somehow. "I'm sorry, but she is gone."
"No," Bonnie said and shook her head. "No, no god no! I promised her -" a sob caught in her throat. "I promised her she would be fine."
Tears streamed down Bonnie's face.
"I'm sorry honey. Kai – poor boy," Sheila's expression grew heavy with grief. "She was so young."
Bonnie cradled Jo in her arms and cried. This was her fault. She was the one, who had made the deal with Kai. She was the one, who had promised Jo she would live and now she was dead.
Nick checked on Kai.
"He's alive," Nick said looking at Kai in disgust. "Unfortunately."
Nick gave Kai a kick. Bonnie barely noticed. Portland wasn't meant to be more grief and death. She was supposed to have a chance here and now a friend of hers was dead.
XXX
There was a second part to all of this, they needed to send Joshua to a prison world. However, after Jo's death none of the others felt up to it. Kai would probably be rearing to get going when he woke up, Bonnie thought as she watched him sleep. But he would damn well have to wait. Not that he had a choice, he needed his magic plus a Bennett's and she wasn't cooperating.
A half-crazed plan to bring back from the dead was racing through her mind. If she called on every spirit she knew (Kol had taught her spirit magic), the forces of nature and had Jo's body she might just be able to bring her back. The only thing she couldn't work out was how to rebalance the scales. No matter, who she had studied with they kept emphasizing the need for balance. That they were nature's servants. Bonnie had learned power alone was not enough. Nature demanded a balance and even if she pulled the spell off in the moment there would be consequences. Ones so bad even Kol had warned her against disrespecting nature.
"You know I think I could bring her back," Bonnie said both to Kai and to no one. Maybe it would draw him out. He looked pale and sick. He certainly didn't look like the Gemini's new leader, but Sheila assured her this was normal. Apparently, she had gone through the Gemini grimoires. "But if I did that I might accidentally turn her into an Original vampire or something worse. Jo wouldn't want that."
Bonnie had been doing reading from the Gemini's grimoires herself. In the books she had studied a magic without consequence it was called Expression. But it required human sacrifice and she wasn't up for that.
"Don't even think about it, child."
Bonnie looked around and saw Sheila had made the climb to Kai's bedroom. She shouldn't have been surprised. Her Grams might be older, but she was still strong and in good shape even with the booze.
"Can't help thinking about it, but I'm not going to do anything stupid."
"See that you do. He'll wake up soon."
Sheila gave her one last knowing look before going back downstairs.
Bonnie reached for Kai's hand. She knew it was stupid and she was still angry with him for how all of this had played, but in a way, it wasn't his fault any more than it was hers. The truth was Joshua had backed them into a corner.
Kai's hand was clammy and cold, but the touch of his palm was rough and familiar. She brushed his hair away from his forehead. It was matted with sweat.
How long she sat like that until Kai murmured something she had no idea.
"Kai?"
Kai twisted and turned. His eyes flew open and he sat upright. A burning pain shot through her hand she cried out in pain. She tried to escape his grip, but he clung to her. Bonnie whimpered and fell forward.
Then the pain was gone. There were hands on her face, fingers caressing her cheeks gently.
"Bonnie? Bunny, are you alright? I thought - I thought you were someone else. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
"Kai?"
She looked up at him and saw he looked genuinely distraught. There were tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry for all of it."
"Bullshit," she hissed. "You're the same as ever."
Bonnie stood and was halfway to the door in the blink of an eye. Fear and rage had spurred her to move almost as fast as a vampire. She happened to glance behind her just to see if Kai was stalking her the way he normally did, but he was just watching her with this broken hearted expression. For the first time, Bonnie felt as if she had kicked a puppy. That was scarier than anything Kai could have done because it was all too close to normal emotion.
Frantic, Bonnie scurried out of the room. Once she was safely out in the hallway, she ran smackdab into Nick's chest. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Let me guess, Kai freaked you out by being his usual homicidal self."
"Kind of," Bonnie grimaced. "Well at first he was himself then – then he apologized and actually looked sorry."
Nick scoffed. "I've seen some crazy shit, but Kai acting like an actual person? I'll never believe that."
"Go see for yourself. Just fair warning, don't let him get his hands on you."
"I find with Kai it's always sound to keep a safe distance."
XXX
Kai didn't know what was wrong with him. Bonnie snapping at him had completely shut him up. He couldn't even think of a reply let alone actually get the words out of his mouth. Instead, he had stared at her as all of the pain he had caused her hit him like a ton of bricks.
In the past, he had thought he cared about Bonnie, but now he had all of these new feelings that made it look pathetic. He could appreciate all of the same things he had liked about her before, but there was something deeper there now. Something that knocked all of the air straight out of his lungs.
Bonnie was kind and brave yet he had used her like a pawn. He'd tried to bully, trick and negotiate her into being his. All because in his fucked up head, she was already his thanks to one word from Joshua. And Kai had been selfish enough to treat her like she was a possession. But Bonnie wasn't his. She didn't belong to anyone. She was too much of everything to ever fully belong to anyone.
Fuck, he had royally fucked up. Beyond anything he could have ever imagined. And how could he have? Before he didn't have the emotional capacity to comprehend this.
Oh fuck.
No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than he realized he had actual emotions now.
"Well fuck that sucks," he groaned and fell back against the bed. "How the fuck did I get sissy's emotions?"
XXX
It was days later and still nothing had been done about Joshua. He was still at Elijah's. Meanwhile, Bonnie had done everything in her power to avoid Kai and Kol. She hadn't been to school, but her Grams had called and explained she was taking some time off. Easy enough to explain as everyone believed Jo had run away.
The Gemini coven had done what they always did post merge, cast a confusion spell on the local population. It took power, but together they could make all of Portland including the police believe Jo had died in a car accident. If there were more deaths it was harder, the bigger the lie and the confusion the more power it took. For most covens even this was more than they could manage. Yet no one had thought to ask where Joshua was, which was a relief. It was one less problem to deal with.
"How are you feeling today, honey?"
Sheila put a teacup down in front of Bonnie. She stared listlessly always appeared to see the things Bonnie wanted to hide the most.
Bonnie shrugged. "It's my fault. How am I supposed to feel?"
"You didn't kill Jo. That poor child never had a snowball's chance in hell. Her family saw to that. But you did what you could to put things right. That takes strength and character and courage. All things I hoped you would grow up to be."
Bonnie threw her arms around Sheila' neck. At least all of this insanity had helped mend her relationship to Sheila. They were back to how they had been before the Originals walked into Mystic Falls.
"Thanks Grams, but I still feel like it's my fault."
"Well that gets easier with time. That's all I can tell you. For now, we need to see to it that the Geminis get their house in order. I'll see to it no one takes notice of Joshua's absence until Kai's more stable."
This was the moment Bonnie had been dreading.
"I can't face, Kai. He's pretending to feel."
"Alright, honey. Lucy and I will take care of that."
"Is she still dating Rebekah?"
"I believe she is," Sheila said. "If you can call what they are doing dating."
Bonnie repressed a smile.
"Thanks. I just can't face him. Not after everything that's happened."
"I understand."
Bonnie finished her tea and left for school. She had transferred to another gym class, which made avoiding Kai easier. Well that and he rarely bothered to show up to class anymore. At least that was what Cassie told her.
As for Kol he had skipped town days ago. Rebekah told her when they ran into each other at school one day. Rebekah was only sticking around as long as Lucy was in town.
Kol had tried to see Bonnie before he left, but Sheila had refused to let him in the apartment. Kol had shouted her name until he finally realized she really didn't want to see him. She hadn't seen or heard from him since, which was for the best even if it hurt.
"English class is this way, Bonnie," Cassie said appearing at her side with a smile. When she saw Bonnie's face her expression changed to concerned. "Are you alright?"
"Kind of."
"It wasn't your fault. This is a fucked-up Gemini family tradition that they should have put an end to generations ago. You tried."
Bonnie was starting to get sick of hearing this from everyone.
"I know, but I just can't handle it right now. Not with the whole sending Joshua to a prison world for eternity thing coming up."
"Seems kind of extreme to me," Cassie sniffed. "I'm sure Kai can think of another way to handle him. The only reason we planned it in the first place was so that Joshua would be out of the way for when Kai and Jo merged, but Kai's coven leader now. He holds all the card."
"We aren't killing anyone."
"Did I say anything about killing anyone?"
"No, but I know it's what Kai will do otherwise."
"Not if you talk him out of it."
"Can't," Bonnie shook her head. "There's no reasoning with that sociopath and I just can't -"
"Nick says he might not be acting."
Bonnie snorted. "I used to think he could change, but he proved me wrong. He faked guilt after the merge. I don't know why, but that just made me so much sicker than anything else he's ever done. And I just don't get why this bugs me more than all his other crap."
"Because it's fake. Kai has always been a dick, but he's usually fairly upfront about it," Cassie said in the air of someone talking about the weather.
It was times like now, Bonnie found it strange that one of her best friends in Portland was another one of Kai's exes.
"You might be right."
Bonnie didn't get a chance to say anything else because Kai was standing in front of her. Right in the middle of the hallway. Looking at her like a deer caught in the headlights. It was more than she could handle.
"If I see you again, I'll melt your face off."
Bonnie turned on her heel and hurried away.
"Bonnie!" Kai called after her.
She didn't care. If anything, it made her break into a run.
Bonnie made it all the way to the parking lot before she realized no one was following her. She looked around and couldn't wrap her mind around it. Kai was nowhere in sight. She reached out with her magic and didn't sense him anywhere.
Why would Kai just let her go? That was completely out of character. Every other time she ran or tried to get away from him, he followed.
Her phone rang, startling her. She jumped and let out a shaky laugh. Clearly, she was on edge if the sound of her phone ringing was too much to take.
"Hey," Bonnie said answering without really checking the screen.
"Bonnie, oh my God!" Caroline squealed.
The sound of her voice was so familiar, Bonnie grinned.
"How are you?"
"I am fabulous. You know how I am dating Matt, right?"
"No, I had no idea. How did that happen? Tell me everything."
"I'm not actually sure myself," Caroline said with a laugh. "I guess we were both kind of lonely with you in Portland and Elena visiting her aunt out of town."
So that was where everyone believed Elena was, Bonnie thought. She wondered what sort of compulsion tricks Elijah had pulled to cover for her absence. Of course, thinking about Elena was depressing. The last time they had talked, they had argued. Bonnie was tempted to call her and apologize, but Elena hadn't called her either. She still didn't see why it was so wrong for her to want her friend to have a normal life. It had been one thing with Stefan, Bonnie had thought he was the exception. Not that vampires would become a regular thing with her. Kol was a one-off.
It wasn't as if Bonnie had the same choice. She couldn't just walk away from being a witch and have a normal life. Lucy had even warned her about that. She said trying to hide from your heritage only guaranteed it followed you. Of course, just like Sheila, she had warned Bonnie to stay away from vampire business. A rule she noticed Lucy didn't stick to herself. Not that Bonnie was any better.
"I'm really happy for you."
"Thanks, he's so much better than Damon that I don't even know what to do with him," Caroline giggled.
Bonnie laughed. "You sound happy."
"I am," Caroline sighed. "But anyway, I kind of called with an ulterior motive."
"What kind?"
"I'm coming to Portland with Matt in a few days and I already talked to Kai. He's planning another party and I wanted to make sure you would be up for it."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Kai mentioned his sister has been missing for a while now. He sounded really broken up about it."
"I'm sure," Bonnie muttered.
"Like really heartbroken and he was worried about you. Said you and Jo were close."
"We were," Bonnie echoed.
Although she was starting to wonder how close they really had been. After all, she had let Jo die. Had led her straight to it. Now when the authorities were looking into it, she had allowed Kai and the Geminis to hide it. When rightfully, she and Kai and anyone else, who had been involved should be in jail.
"Hey," Cassie said catching up.
"I have to go, Care," Bonnie said. "But I'm looking forward to seeing you."
"Why don't we get out here? We have to send Joshua off now that Kai is awake and recovered. Guess that means you get to repeat the eclipse spell."
"Fun," Bonnie said sarcastically.
"Cheer up," Cassie said with a bright smile. "This will all be over soon."
"Let's just get this over with."
These days that felt like it was fast becoming Bonnie's default mood. Lately, it felt like everything she had to do was stuff she wanted over with as fast as possible. Just this once, she wanted her activities to consist of things normal teen girls did. Like she used to do with her friends back in Mystic Falls.
Bonnie jumped in her car and Cassie agreed to meet her at the Parker house. When she arrived at the Parker house, she found kids running around screaming. Kyle was playing his Playstation. Bonnie picked up Liv and shushed her.
"Kyle, you take Luke."
"Why?"
"Because he's your brother and he is crying. Jo isn't here and I only have two arms. Now help me out here. Where the hell has Kai been?" she demanded.
Two minutes in the Parker house and she already felt like she was losing her mind. How had Jo done this for all those years?
"Shut up about, Jo."
Kyle looked furious and unshed tears pooled in his eyes as he picked up Luke.
"Shit, I'm sorry, Kyle. You have no idea how sorry I am. I miss Jo too."
Kyle turned his back to her and at first, she thought he was pissed at her, but then she realized he was hiding his tears.
"Sooner or later I was going to lose a sibling anyway."
"Still," Bonnie rocked Liv. "How long has it been since any of you ate anything?"
"I don't know. Maybe yesterday night. I ordered pizza. Diana and Adam bring food by at least once a day."
"Oh my God. Where is Kai in all of this?"
"In his room," Kyle said. "He is seriously freaking me out and not because he's being his usual psycho self. He's - I don't know different."
"Different how?"
"The twins were crying last night and Annie and Katie couldn't get them to stop so I went upstairs to see if Kai maybe might help. I knew it was a long-shot, but we were desperate. I think I actually heard him cry."
"What?" Bonnie stared at him. "Kai was crying?"
"Pretty sure yeah. What's going on with him?"
"I honestly don't know, but this -" she waved at the twins and the two older girls, who were still running in circles screaming. "Has to stop. I'll stay here tonight. Do you have homework?"
"No."
Bonnie looked at him the same way her Grams used to look at her when she was lying as a child. "Don't you?"
"Yes."
"The girls?"
"Probably."
"Alright," Bonnie nodded. "Clean clothes?"
"Fairly alright. Cassie and Nick did some laundry for us yesterday."
Bonnie burned with shame. The New Englanders had stepped up to fill Jo's shoes. Meanwhile, Bonnie had hid from everything. She had stayed at Sheila's place avoiding her responsibilities.
"And your grandma comes by sometimes," Annie said.
"She brought us a week's worth of food," Katie said. "She promised to come back tomorrow."
"Frozen casseroles and stuff. It's in the freezer," Kyle said.
That explained all of the cooking Sheila had done. Bonnie had been so dazed, she hadn't even noticed. Just like it whenever it crossed her mind that the kids would need adults, she just assumed the Gemini elders would step up. She should have known they wouldn't. It's not like any of them looked in on the kids before.
Did the Gemini elders even know what had happened?
"Alright, you three get started on your homework. I'll put the twins down for a nap and put dinner on."
Sending Joshua to the prison world could wait until the kids were tucked into bed. She could sleep on the couch. It wasn't ideal, but the idea of sleeping in Jo's or Joshua's room didn't feel right. But helping the kids out felt right. This was where she should have been all along.
Bonnie carried Liv on one hip and Luke on the other. The twins were getting bigger. Luke wrapped his arms around her neck and rested his head on her shoulder.
"I miss you, Bunny."
Bonnie considered correcting him about her name, but let it go. He had obviously picked up Bunny from Kai. She wondered when exactly Kai had taken the time to chat with Luke or Liv for that matter, but maybe it was a sign he really had changed like Kyle and Nick seemed to think.
"I missed you too, Lukie. And Liv."
Liv yawned and then her head was on Bonnie's shoulder.
Bonnie wondered how long it had been since the twins took a nap.
Finally, she was at their bedroom. She managed to open the door with her foot. Three minutes in and she was already impressed with Jo.
Bonnie put Liv down in her crib first then Luke in his. She tucked them both in. She needed to talk to her Grams about them because she was sure they were too old for cribs. But it wouldn't hurt to check with a responsible adult.
"Can you sing us a song?" Liv asked.
At least that was what Bonnie thought she said. Liv didn't speak very clearly.
"Jo sings."
"Where's Jo?" Liv asked.
"She's -" Bonnie choked back tears. "She's in heaven."
Bonnie wasn't sure witches went to heaven, but it didn't matter. A few lies to spare two little kids the harsh truth of what happened to their sister was a kindness.
She remembered then how Kol had told her about the Other Side. How it was a separate place for supernatural creatures and that witches roamed freely there. She supposed maybe she wasn't entirely lying to the twins. Maybe it was the witch equivalent of heaven.
"That's what Kyle says and Cassie."
"When will we see her again?"
"Not for a while, but she's watching over you," Bonnie said and stroked Liv's cheek.
She kissed Luke's forehead. Then she turned off the big light and plugged in the night light. She sang a lullaby and by the time she was done both kids were out cold.
Bonnie crept out of the room quietly and closed the door. She knew normally it wasn't that easy. She had put the twins down for their nap before. Most days it took almost an hour. But they were probably tired and missed their routine.
The freezer was in the basement and she found about four different casseroles from her Grams. She had the twins, the girls and Kyle to feed as well as herself. After a moment of contemplation she grabbed two lasagnas and brought them upstairs.
She stuck them in the oven and hoped it was the right temperatures. She didn't cook much. She checked the fridge and cupboards, almost cleaned out of food. On top of it the kitchen was a mess so she started cleaning. Under the sink she found it was overflowing with pizza boxes.
"How much pizza have you kids been eating?" Bonnie said over her shoulder.
Annie, Katie and Kyle looked up from their homework. Joey just stared listlessly at his textbook. That from a little kid was way more worrisome than anything else Bonnie had seen today.
"A lot."
"That stops now. From now I'm staying here, alright?"
"Alright," Kyle said with a cool guy nod and went back to his school.
Annie and Katie squealed before running over. They hugged her tightly and squealed.
"We miss you, Bonnie!"
"It's been so weird without Jo!"
"I miss Jo!"
Then all three of them were crying and hugging each other. Two seconds later, Kyle was crying too. Bonnie waved him over and she was hugging all three kids.
"Has it just been you and Kai?" Bonnie asked.
"No, the New Englanders take turns spending the night on the couch."
That was a relief because the twins were only two.
"But like Kai hasn't left his room in weeks. Not until today."
That didn't sound like Kai. His pre-merge self never would have put off his schemes for a second let alone weeks. Maybe the merge had messed him up for real.
"Well I'm staying here from now on if that's alright with you?"
This was followed by a chorus of agreement.
"Bonnie?"
She looked up and saw Kai standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
"Yes, you kids go do your homework."
"Alright."
They ran back to the living room. Except for Kyle, who sauntered behind them.
"Who has been taking them to school?" she asked Kai.
Kai just stared at her so she checked the lasagnas. Then started chopping up vegetables for a salad. Kai joined her and she did her best to ignore him. It was annoying how good he was at even that. She snuck a peek at him out of the corner of her eye, it might have been her imagination, but he looked a little taller and a little broader.
Did the merge come with physical changes? Not to say she was sure she believed Kai about the emotional ones yet.
"Cassie and Nick for the most part, I think," Kai said. "Cassie yelled at me at school today for leaving the kids all alone. I told her I'd handle things from now."
"Surprised she didn't do it sooner."
"Probably would have if she could have figured a way into the attic."
That almost made Bonnie laugh.
"Why haven't the coven elders been around?"
It bothered Bonnie that the only real adult, who had checked in was Sheila.
"I don't think the New Englanders have told the coven yet. From what I hear Nick has been posing as dear old dad when necessary."
Normally, this was something that Kai would find funny. Bonnie was starting to find this serious side of him unsettling.
"What?" Bonnie stared at him. "Are you serious?"
"Bon, we merged four years early, which is not only flies in the face of tradition, but is totally prohibited. Now we're planning to ship the former leader off to a prison world. Also not cool."
"Makes sense," Bonnie shrugged. "But about your dad if you need a Bennett for that it's going to have to wait. I have to help out with the kids."
"Alright," Kai said. "I really fucked up with my siblings, but I promise I'm going to do better."
"Could hardly to worse," she muttered.
"True," Kai admitted, which was also unlike him. "Still, the worst thing I ever did was how I treated you. You didn't deserve that. And I don't know how to make it up to you."
"Just - just don't," Bonnie said. "I think I actually liked you better when you didn't have feelings. Just take care of dinner. I'm going to check on the twins."
"You're sticking around?"
"Of course, I am. Do you honestly think I would trust you alone with those kids? If I had known – I would have been here sooner."
"Thanks."
"Go to hell," Bonnie said over her shoulder. "We had a deal and that's fine. But don't think I'll ever forgive you for what happened to Jo."
XXX
Sheila came by after dinner. She had a pile of clothes and things for the kids.
"Poor dears," Sheila said with a soft look toward Katie, who had fallen asleep on the couch. "Are you staying here tonight?"
"I'm staying as long as they need me," Bonnie said quietly. "Which judging by the state of things here and with the Geminis might be forever."
Sheila tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "You're a good kid, Bon. Will you be alright? My sabbatical from Whitmore is almost up."
"How soon is almost?"
"About a day," Sheila said. "But I have applied for a job at the university here."
"Really?"
"Really," Sheila said with a smile. "And if I don't get the job then maybe it's time for me to retire."
"I think you should," Bonnie said. "You can come live here in Portland with me."
"Yes, and I will, child. Once I have everything arranged. It's hard to move when you're my age."
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You're not that old, Grams."
"Now you get some rest. I know your father has a surprise for you in a couple of days."
"Oh, what is it?"
"Exactly what kind of surprise would it be if I told you?"
"Fair enough," Bonnie conceded. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"
"I can't. I need to go over the syllabus and talk Lucy through the prison world spell."
"You won't be here then?"
"Child, we were supposed to cast it tonight. I talked to Diana about taking care of kids in the meantime," Sheila explained with another guilty look toward the sleeping child. "I shouldn't even be taking time off this close finals. I'll be back in June. I'm trusting you kids to hold down the fort in the meantime."
Bonnie could read between the lines easily enough. Sheila had also talked to the New Englanders about keeping an eye on her. Fortunately, it seemed Bonnie had decided to rejoin the world just in time.
"And Lucy?"
"She has promised to stay until I return and if there is any trouble, Elijah is only a phone call away."
Bonnie snorted. "I'm not going anywhere near vampires ever again and that includes getting help from them."
"Good," Sheila said with an approving glint in her eye.
Bonnie walked her out. She hugged Sheila and she hung on for a lot longer than necessary. She wasn't ready to let her Grams go, but she knew she had to. Sheila would be back and Bonnie wasn't the same girl she had been when she left Mystic Falls.
She stayed in the doorway and watched Sheila drive away. Once her Grams was out of sight, she locked the front door. Then she tapped on the door three times. It was a simple yet efficient charm of protection. No one with ill intentions would make it across the threshold tonight.
When she returned to the living room, Katie was still out like a light. It seemed cruel to wake her so Bonnie picked her up as gently as she could. Katie's head fell on her shoulder and she carried her upstairs.
By the time she reached Katie and Annie's room, Bonnie was sweating from the strain of carrying Katie. She lay her down on the bed and first then did she look around properly. At some point recently, the two girls had pushed their beds together. And Bonnie's heart broke when she saw Annie, Joey, Kyle and even the little twins were crowded in.
Bonnie was about to turn off the nightlight when Katie caught her wrist.
"Will you stay in here tonight with us, Bonnie?"
"Sure," Bonnie sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair. "How long have you been awake?"
"A while," Katie said with a wry smile.
"Oh, I see," Bonnie giggled. "You were just too lazy to climb the stairs."
"Maybe."
Bonnie laughed and hugged her.
The room was filled with sleep noises and it took her forever before she fell asleep. Eventually, she drifted off lulled by the warmth and safety of the kids. It felt like being surrounded by family.
XXX
Kai found the house too quiet now. He had tried to go for a run to clear his head. But he still felt all messed up. It was how he had felt since the merge. He had all of these emotions and for someone, who wasn't accustomed to emotions it was unpleasant.
He wandered aimlessly wondering if maybe Bonnie wasn't still awake and roaming around. He had no delusions that Bonnie was here for him and not the kids. But he was still hoping for something or really anything. All he knew was that he always had some kind of feelings for Bonnie. Before it had probably been more obsession than affection, but he had cared about her as much as he was capable of back then.
Now?
Now she was all he could think of. He had this ache in his chest just thinking about how he had hurt her and a lump in stomach. He needed to make things right somehow. He didn't think he could be at peace until she forgave him, which was insane.
The last place he had expected to find her was in his sibling's room. On the same bed as literally all of them. At least those that remained. He could still see Jo's face whenever he closed his eyes. It was an image that would haunt him to his death.
Kai was shocked anyone could anything else so deeply. No wonder people were always angry and frustrated with him for not feeling more.
As if sensing his presence, Bonnie woke with a start. She sat up and eyed him suspiciously. Liv and Luke, who were in either of her arms fussed and she adjusted them, making shushing noises.
"What are you doing here?" Bonnie whispered, but even so her suspicion was evident.
"Couldn't sleep."
"Apparently, no one in your family can," she said with a glance toward the kids.
"I really did fuck everything up for them."
"Yes, you did."
Kai stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. Anything he said would be inadequate and they both knew it. Instead, he decided to try voicing his feelings. "Room for one more?"
"I guess," Bonnie said slowly still eyeing him with that mixture of anger and distrust. "But why?"
Kai sat down on the edge of the bed. "Not really sure. I've been messed up ever since the merge and I keep having these feelings and nothing I try seems to stop them. I even tried burning a photo, I read online it's supposed to help, but it didn't. Just made me cry so I figure if I can't stop them maybe I can give in to them? It's what everyone else does. And you all seem to manage living with emotions."
Kai grimaced as if the mere thought of his own emotions were too much. And maybe they were as a former sociopath.
"Gee, thanks," Bonnie huffed, but she didn't look like her heart was in it. "I still don't see why you can't just go upstairs to your room. If memory serves you have a big comfy bed all to yourself."
"Because every time I close my eyes, I see her."
His confession came quietly. So quietly, Kai wasn't sure Bonnie even heard him at first.
"Fine, you can stay."
Kai hid his smile. He was afraid – now there was definitely a new emotion, if Bonnie saw how happy it made him, she would give him the boot.
He slid in next to her and shifted Luke over to his other side. Luke mumbled something, stuck his thumb in his mouth and pressed himself closer all without waking up. Luke was so tiny and Kai realized he'd never actually held one of the twins before, not really. It was strangely comforting.
On his other side, he pulled Bonnie closer. Her head rested on his shoulder, he felt her hesitate, only for a second but then she gave in. She was warm and soft, he put his head on hers and breathed in her familiar scent.
"The deal's off. You can stay or leave or whatever you want really. I know you can't return to Mystic Falls, but you can stay here for as long as you like."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Huh, maybe you're not a total dick after all."
Kai laughed and it felt good. Bonnie turned into him shifted until she was comfortable. He kissed her forehead and she sighed. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy her warmth and softness.
This was supposed to be up on Thursday, but I have spent the past several days napping. Wrapping up my term paper and moving home nearly killed me, but I hope it was worth the wait. English translation of the chant: night to day. day to night. cover the sun. let the moon rise at the brink of day. bring forth the darkest of nights. i summon the eclipse. let day become night. Which is in Latin.
- Izzy
Guest: Here's that next chapter you asked for!
Guest: Thanks, here's the update.
Guest: Lol, girl you crack me up. I am working up to them doing the deed!
Guest: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Yass, I love anti-Damons. We all have suffered from canon TVD way too much.
Guest: Here's more, lol!
Guest: Yass, you know Kol is a hot asshole. Don't worry there is lots of Kai coming up. Thanks for reading!