The Neogenic Recombinator switched off, and Steve Newlin stepped off the platform, looking over his tingling skin.
"There you go, Mr. Newlin," Doom said. "You now have the ability to daywalk."
Russell beamed and nodded his head in affirmation when Steve looked over to him to confirm that Doom's words were true.
"Now, Russell, if that is quite all," Doom said, turning to the older vampire. "I'll thank you not to advertise this process further. I have no desire to genetically alter vampires for the rest of my days."
"Understood, Doom," Russell said. "All the same, we are grateful."
"Oh extremely!" Steve echoed. "This is just about the nicest thing anybody aside from Russell has ever done for me!"
Doom wordlessly shooed them out of his lab. The vampires turned to leave, hand in hand.
"Y'know, now I can finally take you someplace I've been wantin' to take you since we started datin'," Steve said. "You ever been to Hilton Head?"
"How sweet, you play doctor for wayward vampires," Morgan le Fay sneered.
Morgan was locked in a mystical stasis field on the far side of Doom's laboratory. When she was captured by Maleficent, Doom insisted on keeping an eye on her personally. In retrospect, he regretted not having a way to mute her voice within the trap. As it was, preventing her from using her magic would have to suffice.
"What? The silent treatment?" Morgan asked when Doom failed to respond. "Victor, I-"
"There is only one who deserves the honor of calling me by my given name," Doom interrupted. "And you are not him. So you will keep my name out of your whore mouth. To you, I am only Doom."
Morgan rolled her eyes. "I don't know what's sadder: the fact that you chose that insufferable trickster over me or that you actually believe that it'll last with him. You watch: you'll come crawling back to me eventually."
"That will never come to pass," Doom growled as he exited the lab.
"Hey there, dark and deadly, wait up a minute!" Hades called out, running to catch up with Maleficent. "I really wanted to tell ya thanks for saving my afterlife back there."
"Of course," Maleficent nodded. "No one crosses my Overtakers with impunity, and I think we'll both be in agreement that you are far more useful alive than dead."
Maleficent continued onward, believing the conversation to be over. Hades sighed and continued after her.
"It's just that, y'know, well," Hades said, "Mephisto said that thing, and, I mean, hey, I know better than to listen to a demon, but I gotta hedge my brand bets and people who don't ask don't get, so I figured, hey, why not, what's the worst that could happen? I mean, I've seen the worst – Hera before her beauty regiment – sheesh what a sight. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling, so I'm just gonna cut right to the point and give you the IV-I-I. You eat dinner. I eat dinner. Dinner. Us. You see where I'm gong with this?"
"Yes, I do eat dinner," Maleficent said, raising an eyebrow. "Alone. In my chambers."
"Oy, c'mon, Malef, I'm tryin' to ask you out and flirt a little bit," Hades said. "Throw me a bone here!"
"Do you think me oblivious?" Maleficent asked. "I am well aware of your attempts to... flirt with me."
She said the word "flirt" as if it were some detestable flavor that she hadn't expected to bite into.
"Uh, you do?" Hades asked. "Then WHY in Zeus's name have you been leaving me hangin'?"
"I am not some modern woman who can be seduced by mere words," Maleficent said. "If I am to be courted, it should be done properly with a grand gesture to sweep me off my feet. Princess Aurora's beloved bested a dragon to earn her affections. I will not accept anything less."
"Uh, babe, you do remember that you were the dragon in that story?" Hades said. "Besides, isn't old fashioned courting and extravagant gestures kind of a princessy thing."
Maleficent stopped dead in her tracks and shot a venomous glare at Hades. "Are implying that I do not deserve such a gesture?"
"Huh? What? Me? Say that? Naw, no way, pssh, babe, c'mon!" Hades said, backing away slowing. "I, uh, I just meant that it's kinda, y'know, strange that you of all people would want that. I mean, you spent your whole life being the mortal enemy of fairy tale romance and twue wuv, and now you're telling me that you want that for yourself?"
"Perhaps I'd like to finally know what it is like to be valued in such way," Maleficent said. "Is that so difficult to understand?"
Maleficent proceeded forward, wordlessly indicating that the conversation was over. Hades was left standing in the hallway alone to ponder what she'd said.
"No," he said under his breath. "I guess it's not so difficult to understand at all."
The Overtakers, now ten strong, gathered together in the conference room. Maleficent hadn't recalled giving Russell permission to include Steve in their meetings, but, everything considered, she allowed it. After all, a second vampire in their midst could prove most useful if kept satisfied, and, after all, the spoils from the Book of Prophecies were not a limited commodity. Everyone could have what they wanted, and it would not take away from anyone else.
"We have our first real lead to the Book of Prophecies, my Overtakers," Maleficent declared. "Thanks to Doctor Doom, we have deduced that the last person to come into contact with this book dwells in a world known as The Land Without Magic, in a town called Storybrooke."
"How utterly saccharine," Russell quipped, eliciting a giggle from Steve.
"A land without magic?" Loki asked. "How will we get there? The Corridors of Darkness will not open without magic to latch onto."
"My time platform by nature is capable of transporting one's physical form through space," Doom said. "As it is science, not sorcery, it can touch down in that world. However, I cannot transport all of us there. The team we send down must be small and concentrated. I would recommend no more than two. But there is a catch. Storybrooke is guarded by a powerful protection spell. I will not be able to land our team within the town lines."
"Wait a moment, if this is a Land Without Magic, then how exactly is there a protection spell guarding it?" Jafar asked.
"Storybrooke is an anomaly," Doom explained, "a pocket of magic amidst a vast plane of magical absence, placed there by a powerful curse that defied the limits of that world."
"So how exactly are we going to get into the town?" Fish asked. "Knock on the door and ask politely for them to let us in?"
"I will be sending in our force at the town line at the precise moment that another will be arriving," Doom explained. "This encounter will permit our team's entrance."
"So the million dollar question: which two of us are going?" Russell asked.
"I have decided to handle this personally," Maleficent explained, "and I have decided that Ursula will be accompanying me."
Ursula smiled. "It's been too long since we've had a girls' trip, Mal."
"So, uh, what exactly are the rest of us gonna do while you're gone?" Blackheart asked.
"The time is yours to do as you see fit," Maleficent said. "Now, if there are no further questions, I would like to depart posthaste."
Across the cosmos, in the Land Without Magic that Maleficent spoke of, one poor woman was having an absolutely wretched day. It hadn't been easy being banished to a strange new world with only the fur coat on her back, but Cruella had made due. Finding out she was a fictional cartoon character to this world certainly had been an adjustment as well, albeit a beneficial one. She found an old, rich, white guy with a fetish for "Disney villains," and from there it was life in the lap of luxury.
Or at least it was until the blasted FBI had to ruin everything. Something about "ponzi schemes" and "white collar crime." Now she was watching all of her diamonds and material wealth being stripped away from her. It was like a bad cosmic joke. When she noticed her fur coat rack being rolled away, she ran after her babies and snatched one of them away.
"Sorry lady," the FBI officer said, trying to take it from her unrelenting grasp.
"This was mine before!" she growled.
It was the only fur coat she had when she arrived in this world. The officer backed off and let her have it. She slipped on the coat and gave it a squeeze. She lived for furs, she worshipped furs, and holding it gave her the warm feeling that everything would turn out alright.
"Cruella De Vil," a voice behind her said.
Cruella froze in place. She knew that voice. But how in the Hell could that voice be here?
"No one calls me that here," she said, turning around to face him.
Just as she suspected, there, standing before her was Rumplestiltskin, or "Rumple" for short, the fearsome dark wizard known far and wide as the Dark One. He was looking far less scaly and well dressed in this realm, but he was the exact same man she'd clashed with years ago.
"Well I'm sorry, dearie, but Cruella Feinberg doesn't have quite the same ring," Rumple said with a smirk.
"What in the Hell are you doing here?" she asked.
"Looking to restore my greater glory," Rumple said. "A glory I can soon return to you as well if you join me."
"I'm not going anywhere with you," Cruella spat, turning around to walk towards the garage.
"Things have changed!" Rumple called out. "Mea culpa. Our last time together was... less than ideal. But now we've both lost all that we have. We need each other. I can get you back everything you want and more!"
"You know you talk a good game, Dark One, but can you deliver?" Cruella asked. "In a Land Without Magic where apparently walking is a challenge?"
She gestured to his limp and cane. It was amusing that one as powerful as the fearsome Dark One could have such a rudimentary disability.
"Ah, but there is magic in this world," Rumple said. "You just have to know where to look. Our failures in the past have been for one reason: the odds have been stacked against us by a man called The Author. His book harnesses a great power: giving heroes and villains what he considers their just desserts."
Cruella sneered. "Well I suppose that's better than blaming bad judgment and gin."
"Then let's go see him," Rumple said, "tell him what we think. Unless you prefer life as the financially destitute wife of a convict."
It really was no choice at all. Cruella knew she couldn't trust Rumplestiltskin as far as she could throw him, but if there really was an author of her destiny, she was intent on destroying him. After all, what kind of sadist separated a girl from her best furs? Cruella opened the garage door and gestured to her prized possession that the FBI missed: a modified black and white 1980s Zimmer Golden Spirit.
"Get in," Cruella said with a grin.
The two loaded up in the car, and Cruella cranked the ignition.
"Now, darling, where are we going?" she asked.
Rumplestiltskin smiled. "A quaint little town called Storybrooke."
Doom began heading down to his laboratory to orchestrate Maleficent and Ursula's transportation to the Land Without Magic. However, as he crossed one of the thresholds, he found himself in a completely different part of the mansion than where he should be. Rather than the staircase leading down to his laboratory, he found himself in a familiar bedroom decorated in green and gold. Doom sighed and gave a light laugh.
"You think yourself quite amusing, do you not, Loki?" Doom said.
Loki wrapped his arms around Doom from behind. "Take off the armor, and we'll find out."
"I have work to do," Doom said, though his pleas lacked the force of determination that they usually held. "I have little time for this. Maleficent will not appreciate the delay."
"That's what makes this fun," Loki whispered. Victor could practically hear the smirk in Loki's voice.
Unable to refuse the temptation, Victor magically dismissed his armor. Having not expected to undress, he hadn't worn anything under his armor aside from a skin tight gray mesh suit to prevent the metal from pinching his skin.
"I'm afraid I didn't dress for the occasion," Victor said.
"You're still overdressed," Loki said.
And once Victor turned around to face his lover, he knew why. Loki was wearing nothing but that devilish smirk that never seemed to leave his face. The sight was enticing and pushed all thoughts of anything else from Victor's mind. Victor pulled Loki flush against him and kissed the God of Mischief with intense fervor. But then he realized something was off. The shivers of cold that usually came from kissing Loki were not there. Victor pulled free of the kiss and fumed with frustration.
"Dispel," Victor commanded.
The illusion of the room and the nude Loki dissolved, revealing the correct corridor and a fully dressed Loki leaning against the wall.
"Now why did you stop?" Loki asked. "I was rather enjoying the show."
Doom hastily put his armor back on to hide his face from any passerby. Loki noted that this also conveniently hid a particular engorgement beneath the belt line.
"Your games do not amuse me," Doom said. "What if someone had seen us?"
"I believe that's part of the fun," Loki said with a laugh.
"I am quite serious, Loki," Doom said. "I have consented to be Victor with you and you alone. Do not violate that trust again, or I shall find another dalliance to occupy my time."
"Alright, alright," Loki said, his tone no longer playfully coy. "I apologize for the deception. I thought it merely foreplay. I seemed to remember you enjoying my illusions."
"In the privacy of Castle Doom," Doom clarified. "This mansion contains too many others. I cannot be Victor openly here. Not yet."
"Very well," Loki nodded. "I suppose I'll just have to find us a more... private space."
"If you do, I would not be opposed," Doom said with a nod as he proceed onward to his laboratory.
Maleficent and Ursula were already in Doom's laboratory when he arrived. Maleficent was dressed in her casual black pantsuit that Fish helped her pick out for going to Gotham. Ursula, so as to not attract too much unwanted attention from a land without magic, was in her Vanessa disguise, wearing a casual purple blouse and a navy skirt.
"Now then," Doom said, preparing the time platform. "This will deposit you just outside of the town line. You will not be able to use any magic until you enter Storybrooke. Once there, you can open a Corridor of Darkness to leave, but you will not be able to return to the town once you do. Once I activate the machine, I will monitor your movements. If you have not crossed the town's boundaries within twelve hours, I will manually return you to the mansion. Are we clear?"
"Crystal," Ursula said with a nod.
"Isn't he so boring?" Morgan le Fay asked, chiming in. "Always right to the point."
"Silence!" Maleficent commanded. "Or I shall have your tongue removed from your head."
Morgan did not press her luck further. Doom gestured to the platform, and the two ladies stepped onto it. Doom flipped the switch and it began to glow yellow. The energy washed over the two women until they were completely gone from Doom's laboratory.
The hunt for the Book of Prophecies was upon them.