That evening, after a delightful supper, the champions descended on the Quidditch pitch to get ready for the final task.
The stadium had soon filled up around them, and Ludicrous Bagyman had just finished explaining the third task to the audience, when out of the blue, a thatch of red hair came streaking past them and into the maze yelling, "I'm going to find the cup first and prove what complete losers you all are! Bwa-hahahaha…."
His voice faded into the distance as he disappeared into the maze. After everyone spent several seconds staring at the now empty again entrance to the maze, they all finally shrugged their shoulders before turning their attention back to the task at hand. Ronald was being Ronald once more — what was new? It would have been a bigger surprise by that point if he hadn't done something stupid to commemorate the final task. And now that it was over, they could all get back to what they were doing.
Krum was sent into the maze first, followed by Cedric five minutes later, followed by Fleur five minutes after that. Now that everyone else was in the maze, and they still had an hour to wait, Harry and Hermione walked over to the Gryffindor Quidditch changing room, and went inside. They had time to kill, and there was only one way to do it.
Harry quickly stripped off his robes, before walking over and sitting down on the nearest bench. His cock stuck straight up, proud and ready and imposing. Hermione, who'd stripped off her own robes at the same time, promptly sat down in his lap, impaling herself on his big friendly giant.
She had been hobbling slightly most of the afternoon, a delicious ache from their pre-lunch session permeating all of her muscles, but what better way to shake off some soreness than exercise those muscles again? And as Harry bounced her up and down in his lap, she could feel the soreness just melting away, ready to be replaced by even more soreness that she was bound to incur from this impromptu session with Harry Jr. But with any luck, one of the three real champions would have found the Cup by the time she and Harry were scheduled to enter, and they wouldn't even have to walk into the maze.
Unfortunately, as Hermione recovered from her seventh orgasm fifty minutes later, Harry looked at his watch and said, " 'Fraid that's got to be it for now, sweetheart. We've got ourselves a maze to enter. But maybe we can go just far enough inside to round the hedge and be hidden, and continue this there."
Hermione grudgingly de-impaled herself, immediately missing the feeling of him stuffing her full.
They threw their robes back on and waltzed over to where the judges were waiting on them, knowing smirks playing across all their judgy faces. Since they were already there, and there was only a few minutes left before they were supposed to enter anyway, and no one in the extraordinarily bored crowd (since all they'd been looking at for the last hour was hedges growing, which grew slower than grass when the magical growth charms (aka, steroids) had been taken off of them) was going to be paying that close of attention to their watches if they even had them, Ludicrous Bagyman went ahead and blew his whistle for the two of them to enter.
As planned, they walked to the end of the hedge, and turned right to disappear out of sight of the crowd.
But just as Hermione was about to yank her robes back over her head so Harry could finish what he'd already started and finished seven times in the Quidditch changing room, Harry suddenly said, "Hey! What's that?"
Hermione dropped the hem of her robes and turned to look at what Harry was pointing at. There was something on the ground, that was hard to make out under the starlight and cover of the hedges. Harry bent down to look at it, as Hermione pulled out and lumos'd her wand, grabbing his shoulder as she bent down next to him.
It turned out to be something that looked exactly like what they thought the TriWizard Cup might look like, if it were 6 inches tall, instead of two feet and in the center of the maze like it was supposed to be. But that wasn't even the most amazing part about it, as when Harry reached down to prod it with his finger like some weird bug, they instantly felt jerks somewhere behind their navels, and their feet left the ground.
A few seconds later the spinning stopped, and Harry and Hermione landed back on the ground in their crouch, Hermione's hand still firmly gripping Harry's shoulder. Straightening up, they looked around at where they'd been portkeyed to, Harry pulling out his wand and lumos-ing it, too. In an unknown, clearly dangerous place that they obviously weren't supposed to be in, it was eternally prudent to have your wand always ready to cast with, and a little extra light never hurt no one neither, as it seemed like no one was ever non-consensually transported to a brightly lit place filled with nice, friendly people.
They hadn't been standing there more than a few seconds looking around at the eerie graveyard, filled with lots of graves and shadows, when they saw a figure walking steadily towards them between the graves. Deciding it best to shoot first and ask questions later in a place that looked like very bad people would do very bad things, and good people would never catch themselves dead in unless they had been magically transported there by very bad people to have very bad things done to them, Harry and Hermione simultaneously pointed their wands and shouted, "Stupefy!"
The figure froze, keeling over and dropping to the ground the bundle he was carrying. Wingardium Leviosa-ing the miniature TriWizard Cup Portkey with them, since they didn't want sent back to the maze quite yet, but wanted to make sure the portkey was with them at all times in case they needed to make a hasty getaway, they walked over to the recently rendered comatose figure, still carefully looking around them for anyone else who might need aided in obtaining unconsciousness. But they arrived at the man without further incident, and looked down to find that it was none other than Wormtail the Worst.
Hermione cast a quick rope-binding charm on him in case he happened to wake up, before they turned their attention to the bundle of blankets the rat had dropped. Vividly remembering the time the previous year that Bug-Eyed Trelawney had proven that broken seers will still right twice in their lives, they had little doubt as to who was bundled up in those blankets, though they both wondered what he would look like, since when he'd started his sabbatical, he hadn't had any body at all. But given the fact they'd visioned the foul incarnation of evil holding his magically reappeared and perfectly unscathed wand while torturing Wormtail with the ever-cummming curse, they could deduce he at least had a hand now, whatever else he may or may not have recently started possessing since hitchhiking in Quirrelly's turban a few years earlier.
But before they could find out, they heard a slithering in the weeds nearby, and quickly turned and blasted the noise with a barrage of Incindio spells. The snake from the dream, for that's what it was, flew up into the air, writhing and twisting, before splatting on the ground in a twisted, burnt, crisp heap. A strange black cloud of smoke also escaped from out of its lips, dissipating into the shadowy night. Had they been horcrux experts — which meant, had they been Dumbles, for he was the only living one after all of the wizarding world deemed horcruxes too evil, and therefore promptly forgot all about their very existence in a misguided belief that if they, smart, good witches and wizards, deemed horcruxes too evil to even think about, then no bad, evil, dark witch or wizard would ever try to learn how to make one — they would have been surprised that a series of fire-charms had managed to kill a beast with a horcrux in it, and therefore kill the horcrux as well. But had they been both Horcrux and sex-power spell experts — so no one living, since no one living was both — they would have just nodded their heads and gone, 'Ah, just what we expected'. As it was, since they were neither, Harry and Hermione simply cautiously walked over to make sure the large, thick snake really was dead, before returning their attention to the blankets.
Using Wingardium Leviosa, Hermione carefully lifted the corner of the blankets, to see exactly what inhuman monstrosity they were dealing with. But as soon as it became visible, and it looked at Harry as Harry looked back at it, Harry's scar burst with pain and he collapsed on the ground in agony, clutching his head. Hermione instantly dropped the corner of the blanket back over the slimy red baby thing's head, and dropped beside Harry and hugged his face tightly to her boobs. They were still robed, reducing her girls' efficiency slightly, but they worked nonetheless, and soon Harry's headsplitting pain had subsided, and he was able to look back up at her.
"You good?" she asked soothingly, running her hand through his unruly raven hair.
Harry nodded. "Yeah. Let's just not do that again. That hurt."
"Of course not, of course not," replied Hermione. "But I would say we are both one hundred percent sure that that is the scourge of the world?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Well, since we both know it's him, and we certainly don't want to and can't look at the foul thing again, I say we just pick up a few heavy rocks and Wingardium Leviosa bash his brains in, like any halfway decent first year could do soon after Halloween," replied Hermione cheerfully. "Then we can return an unconscious, bound Wormtail, a dead snake, and a dead Voldypants back to the maze."
"Smart witch," smiled Harry, before pointing his wand at a large, firm, smooth heavy rock nearby.
Hermione picked up her own favorite vaguely breast-shaped chunk of solid mineral with her wand as well, and she and Harry proceeded to bash the blankets to pulp, until they were more than sure they'd overkilled the evil git. Once they were positive it was more than dead, Hermione pulled out her Glock 20 from her robe holster and dumped fifteen plus one rounds of hot ten millimeter hollow point lead into the blankets — because there's no kill like overkill, and sometimes it is absolutely necessary to kill an ant with a sledgehammer — before putting in a fresh magazine and racking the slide to chamber a round before reholstering it, ready for the next thing she came across her wand couldn't quite handle.
Then she carefully lifted the corner of the blanket again, to make sure Harry didn't collapse this time, proving for sure it was completely and absolutely totally deceased. Turned out Harry did still almost collapse, but just from how gross and disgusting and vomit-inducing the puddle of ex-Voldypants was.
Confident they'd taken care of the problem, they kicked the snake carcass over to the blanket, and Harry gingerly grabbed hold of the snake's tail and the very corner of the blanket with one hand, while Hermione roughly grabbed Wormtail's ear with one hand and Harry's arse with the other, and Harry used his spare hand to grab the mini-TriWizard Cup, portkeying them back to Hogwarts.