Chapter 17 :Secrets and Plans

All her life Katniss struggled with understanding her own emotions, of how to show them let alone to understand how others survived when all their weaknesses were open for public spectacle. It was this mindset that helped the time traveler win her games, to begrudgingly accept her role as Mockingjay, to protect Prim and Peeta. It was this mindset that took over as the brunette watched the screen before her. Katniss Everdeen sat in front of the screen immovable as if made of stone, the only feeling she could identify herself was numbness.

"It's okay" Finnick whispered, the warmth of his hand on hers in a tight grip was the only sensation that could breach the comfortable numbness that enveloped her in times of horror. She could feel her smaller hands squeeze his larger ones.

The instinctive connection that they shared even in the past allowed her to accept the more affectionate Finnick's actions as what they were, a form of communication and comfort. He wrapped his arms around her smaller body allowing Katniss the ability to do one thing she could never do in her past, hide from the stares. Finnick rubbed her back softly allowing her to do one thing she could never do in her past, hide from the stares.

Finnick rubbed her back softly allowing her to express another string of silent tears from holding it in all the time. It was during the unnatural silence that Haymitch received an alert. Muttering curses he turned to Finnick eyes narrowed.

"Don't let her out of your sight" He growled as he walked out of the room. Katniss didn't move a muscle only allowing Finnick's larger body to hide her smaller frame from view. Finnick physically put an arm around her shoulders sighing when he felt her stiffen slightly, not all that surprised that despite his visit and their nightly phone calls that she still would show such a reaction.

"Katniss, can you hear me?" He whispered, carefully watching her for signs of clarity.

"Finnick," Katniss muttered, "You're…here?"

"Katniss listen to me, focus on my voice alright? I know you want to forget but I need you to focus…do you want to get out of here?"

"Here?" Grey eyes locked on sea-green eyes as Finnick fought back the shock of the depth of wisdom he saw on the clearly more than average girl.

"You really cannot deny her story when a thirteen-year-old looks at you with eyes of a 30 something year old," He thought bitterly.

"Out of the mentor room, Katniss."

"Mentor room… I've never been a mentor…. Bee's plan worked…." Her voice lowered. God, she would hate how weak she sounded if her mind wasn't fogged up in the future, past, whatever it was now. Finnick carefully looked over making sure no other mentors were paying them any attention, they weren't. Then it clicked, a game she mentioned during one of their late-night talks.

"Your name is Katniss Everdeen, known as the Girl on Fire. Home is District 12 you have a sister named Prim. You lived through three hunger games, you are now thirteen years old. Real or not real?"

Her grey eyes flashed in recognition, "Real" she gasped her hand gripping his tightened.

"Let's go grab some lunch, Girl on Fire" Finnick ordered loudly, causing the other mentors to roll their eyes at the youngest pair. Finnick helped her up allowing her a slightly larger than usual gap than they have had previously, subconsciously knowing their growing closeness would be a battle ground.

Finnick pushed the elevator button once he grabbed two small lunches from the cafeteria. Katniss could feel his eyes on hers and she sent him a glare of her own causing him to wink at her. The elevator doors opened and he allowed her to enter first as he pressed the button to the top floor.

Once they reached the top floor, Finnick followed her all the way to rooftop, allowing her the space to find a spot against the ledge and sat next to her with a decent but small gap between them. Finnick sat patiently sorting out the food between them simply watching her breath in and out remembering how it was for him to lose his first tribute.

The time he spent watching her during last year's games and the small bits of knowledge he was given of the past Finnick could guess her reaction was like his own. He watched her warily remembering her quick reflexes and her temper, despite her rather blunt way of speaking even if he could tell she was trying to be sympathetic.

She wasn't very good at it. She was more of the sadistic humor sort.

"Do you always feel like this?"

Finnick shook his head, "This is only the beginning., but somehow I figure you've seen worse." Their eyes met and an understanding came over her.

"Lovely way to tell me that more Survivors Guilt is coming" She scowled.

He shot her a grin, "Hey you're the war veteran. I'm simply returning the favor."

Katniss sighed, "Finnick…"

"I know your reasoning, but that logic also allowed you to tell everything to Haymitch."

XXX

Panem Downtown

As Haymitch walked out of the room down the hall, out the door he cursed through all the vile words he knew. He watched for anyone that could be following him. Taking the long way to the predetermined meeting spot Haymitch took another detour to cover all his bases.

Entering the bar, he went straight for the closed door in the back. Plutarch was sitting alone at the single long table in the room. The man stood up upon seeing Haymitch close the door. The two men looked over each other before they both met each other's eyes shaking hands. Plutarch nodded his head toward the second chair before sitting down in his own. Taking a seat Haymitch studied the man before him.

Plutarch was an older man not particularly old, large or very distinguished. He was however very intelligent and the only real connection to this mysterious District 13. Plutarch had sent a messenger to ask him to join him for a meeting. Haymitch could only guess that is was about the rebellion that had yet to become a reality.

"Haymitch Abernathy" Plutarch greeted softly.

"Plutarch what is this about?" Haymitch ignoring the greeting.

The other man sighed already knowing this would be a difficult conversation. The two men stared at each other silently sizing the other up. Plutarch cleared his throat before speaking.

"Haymitch I've been in contact with a few people who think similarly as us…" He began.

Haymitch growled, "You live in the Capitol I doubt we think the same way."

"You'd be surprised how many feel the way you do. Haven't you wondered who's been helping keep the Districts from acting out just yet?"

Haymitch leaned forward his voice low, "I highly doubt that is in their best interest."

Plutarch shook his head, "If a rebellion is going to happen it's going to have to happen at the right time. Where they can have a…outside supporter when things get messy."

"Your employer wants someone to do their dirty work" Haymitch felt his fist clench, he understood better than most the reality of war yet having someone else take the fall for something District 13 wanted…. They ran away to save their own skin do they really have the right to demand such things?

" District 13 will soon have the arsenal that we need to fight the Capitol head on…"

"District 13 was destroyed."

"Above ground was turn to rubble yes, but they survived undetected for years."

"They ran leaving the other Districts to surrender and reap the punishments."

"District 13 made the deal with the Capitol only so they could prepare to continue the fight. Every district would have been destroyed otherwise."

"Not if the Capitol wanted free labor."

"True survivors would have been left but it would have been much worse if District 13 agreed to stop fighting in exchange for being left alone."

"They ran for their lives."

"And every other District did the same."

"Only because all the supplies we had and the support of 13 was ripped away."

"To keep fighting yes. To build up the wrongs of the capitol to build up our technology."

"Leaving the rest of us to rot."

"Snow would never have let them survive after being such a powerhouse for the rebellion. Then everything really would have been lost."

Haymitch would never let Plutarch know how true that statement was. "Now Plutarch the reason for this meeting?"

"A few have escaped from the Capitol. They have recently gotten in touch. District 13 wants to start rebuilding the rebellion."

"Another Rebellion?"

"Yes, if all the Districts rebelled then the Capitol would be an easy target."

"I see you've thought a lot about this."

"I'm a citizen who has climbed the ranks I am valuable on both sides."

"And what do you want from me?"

"Round up the victors what we need is a face for the rebellion. Someone who can bring everyone together. Even the Victors someone they can stand behind."

"Anyone you thought of in particular?" Haymitch asked sarcastically.

"Your tribute. Katniss Everdeen. I think in a few years she will be perfect."

"But not yet?"

"The people would never go to battle at a 13/ 14-year old's command" Haymitch snorted, "Well technically that's a lie" He thought with amusement.

"No, I suppose not" He replied realizing Plutarch was waiting on him.

"So, you will help?"

"Do I even have a choice? Which devil shall I choose?"

Plutarch suddenly looked very much like a Peacock. "I'll contact you like usual."

XXX

After having left Plutarch to his own devices, something Haymitch was rather loath to do after the snippets of conversation with his lovely snarky fellow mentor, the dark-haired man slowly made his way back to the hell that was his current residence. Walking back toward the tribute center Haymitch looked down at his watch knowing Katniss would be herself enough to question him as he entered their floor. Sighing he prepared for Effie's screeching over where he has been.

"Haymitch!"

Ah there was his favorite banshee.

"Damn it woman! No need to screech" He drawled, smirking as he could see the fumes the vibrant haired woman seethed. He looked over to his right and there sat Katniss and Finnick smirking at him.

"Hey Abernathy where did you go?" Katniss asked leaning into Finnick, Haymitch smirked realizing she didn't even know she was doing it.

"Apparently, we are being recruited."

Katniss tensed before narrowing her gaze toward her mentor, "Plutarch?"

"Yes, the man who's more of a Peacock than Fishboy."

Finnick rolled his eyes as he muttered, "At least I'm not the local drunk."

"I can't recognize him when he's sober" Katniss smirked at the look of mock hurt he portrayed.

"You're the one who made it prohibition year."

"I forgot how much I prefer you drunk old man."

Even Effie looked as if she was enjoying their banter, Haymitch was never more grateful for the fact that Effie often overlooked comments that did not belong. However, they made sure she was still in the dark over their rebellious plans. After all Effie while kind was still in love with the Capitol.

"So, what were you lovelies discussing" Effie trilled as she walked into the middle of their banter having just been out of normal hearing reach, despite this Haymitch seriously thought she had bat like hearing and simply ignored anything that was not…polite. Haymitch looked at her in mild annoyance, "Where'd you go after screeching at me?"

"Going over the coverage of the games. It is turning into a very interesting year!"

The victors in the room flinches as Effie opened her mouth then shut it. Looking over them softly, she understood that she would never really understand them. After all she wasn't from a place where she was at risk of going into that arena.

"Now enough of that. Dinner is ready!"

Finnick "gave Katniss a slight hug goodbye waving to the others to head back to his floor. He shared a grim look with Haymitch. Katniss ignored Effie's gently proving as they sat down for a silent dinner.

It wasn't until the next morning did mentor and tribute have enough privacy to discuss the latest events in detail. Due to the sleep deprivation that was common among the victors neither were surprised to see each other up at such an ungodly hour. They sat side by side both nursing warm drinks in silence.

"So, they finally made a move?"

Haymitch scoffed, "More like prodding a rattlesnake to see if it'll bite."

"And did it?"

"I agreed. As it seems they got the fire power we need" Katniss did not reply only went back to starring into her cup. Haymitch didn't bother to try and gather more words out of her. Her mind obviously went into another world. A world Haymitch was sure he did not want to see become another reality. They sat in silence for a few more hours until Effie was heard walking around in her chirpy voice. They quietly ate with her before she shooed them away to protect their remaining tribute.

Sean.

Katniss closed her eyes as the girls' deaths played out in her mind on a deadly loop that never ended. Their deaths added to those she was forced to relive again and again when she closed her eyes. They day proved rather tame as the victors sat around together tensely watching as all the remaining tributes regrouped. Katniss recognized the yearly time within the games where the game makers would only tease the tributes to keep them on edge and to prolong their torture. She sat back and willed herself to hold it together a little while longer.

The walk to their computers seem to last a lot longer than the previous trips. They soon met up with Mags and Finnick who silently gave her his hand by grabbing hers gently. She smiled softly at her fellow victor. Together the four of them huddled around one of the edges of the room. Quickly dreading the next leg of the games. When Chaff and Seeder entered, the elder victors went to greet them. Leaving Katniss and Finnick alone for a moment.

"How are you?" He asked gently without raising his voice a rope slipping into her hand. She quietly began to make and untie the rope within her hands.

"I should ask you that" was her retort.

He shot her a thankful grin, "I'm worried about you right now Girl on Fire" She sighed, "Two more names to the list of those I could not save."

"Don't let yourself fall Everdeen."

She looked over at him an intense look on her face."It takes twice as long to build yourself back up than it takes to fall down, I remember."

"Now when did I tell you that?"

"During the bombing," Katniss replied quietly before she glared at him seeing his grin at her small slip of information. She felt no fear as his eyes darkened in intensity as she saw the pain of knowing even a small part of the future on his handsome face.

"I should never have told him" She thought. She was about to walk away when his hand grabbed hers. She forces herself to look back at him.

"Don't"

"Don't what?" She whispered.

"Think for even a moment that I would be better off not knowing." His fingers lifted her head making her face him. All she could do was notice all the different tones of colors that were twisted together within his eyes. What she did not know was that he thought the exact same thing with her own. They were in their own little world as Katniss fought herself internally. She spent years fearing her own shadow, hurting those who remained because she could not let her walls down.

How could Finnick Odair of all people seem to be able to do that all without even trying? What's worse He and Anne seemed incapable to getting together, their baby boy would never be born, the beautiful District 4 wedding would never occur to give hope to the districts. She could never give Peeta what he deserved or even try. She was incapable of most emotional connections she was far to damaged. Yet the emotional connections she had were either Prim or irrevocably connected to those who suffered through the games…. the victors.

"Katniss" Finnick pleaded.

She pulled away just as the Panem Anthem began to play.