Thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me on this one. I appreciate your interest, your comments and your tweets!
I won't waste any more of your time…;-)
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It all happened in a blur, Maggie vaguely heard Carina say placental abruption and cesarean before she was being rushed into surgery and the nurses were putting a surgical gown onto Jackson. Maggie could feel the pain increasing as the buzz of activity circled around here. She could hear the fetal heart monitors going and the slowing of one of the heartbeats. Her hands shook, her brain panicked and even the look of subtle calmness across Jackson's face couldn't relax her.
"Jackson, I know that something is wrong," she stated as he took her hand meeting her eyes, "I heard Carina, she has to do a c-section…my placenta abrupted, the babies are in distress."
Jackson nodded slowly, "Our baby boy is having some trouble, but she is going to get him out and he will be fine. Trust me," Jackson kissed her forehead.
"It's his heartbeat that is slowing, isn't it?" Maggie asked as she watched the anesthesiologist.
"He's going to be ok, we can trust Carina," Jackson caressed her cheek.
Maggie watched as Carina worked with the attending nurses. Jackson's eyes were transfixed on what was happening on the other side of the curtain, but he never once stopped squeezing Maggie's hand. "We can trust Carina," she nodded holding tightly onto Jackson's hand.
"Maggie, can you feel my touch?" Carina asked.
"No," Maggie answered.
"Good, let's get these babies outs…number 10," Carina ordered as one of the nurses handed her a scalpel. Jackson glanced down at Maggie, who stared back at him intently and kissed her forehead before glancing up at the galley where Catherine and Richard took seats quickly, followed by Meredith and Amelia.
Jackson watched as Carina made her first incision, "What's happening Jackson?" Maggie asked.
"She just made her first incision."
"What kind of incision?" Maggie asked.
Jackson looked down and smiled for the first time since he awoke that night, "I love you," he smirked kissing her.
Minutes clicked by as Carina worked and Jackson provided Maggie with a play by play of Carina's every move, "Suction," Carina asked as Jackson watched her reach inside of Maggie's abdomen and in one swift moment, a small baby appeared in Carina's arms, "here he is!" Carina declared holding the little boy up displaying him for Jackson to see.
"Our son is out? Why isn't he crying?" Maggie asked lifting her head slightly.
Carina quickly suctioned the baby's mouth and gave him a quick touch, which allowed a loud scream to leave his throat, "Well he definitely has some healthy lungs," Carina commented.
"Daddy?" she gestured towards the nurse who held out the scissors to cut the umbilical cord. The baby boy was wrapped and quickly placed on Maggie's chest.
When she looked down, locking eyes with her son, Maggie felt an instant love that she didn't know existed.
"Ok…here we are…your darling girl," Carina beamed as she lifted up the second baby after a couple of moments and grinned. Jackson cut the second umbilical cord as the precious girl was laid on Maggie's chest and the tears appeared in her eyes.
"She's beautiful," Maggie gasped looking down and then looking up at Jackson, "we did this," she whispered.
"We did," he whispered with tears in his eyes bending down and kissing Maggie on the forehead.
The babies were then whisked away and placed into plastic cradles, "Go check on them Jackson," Maggie asked.
He nodded kissing her again as Carina began to work to finish. As Maggie stared over at the babies with Jackson watching closely, she felt the room grow cold and she shivered, "Carina…something…I…don't feel right," Maggie stammered.
Carina looked down, "She's hemorrhaging! Suction!" she yelled.
Jackson turned from the twins and looked over, Maggie felt her eyelids become heavier as she heard shouting and suddenly, she was shrouded in blackness.
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Maggie stood outside of the nursery staring at the two adorable brown cherubs swaddled in yellow blankets in the front window. She wiggled her fingers as they slept. Their curly black hair and beautiful almond colored made them the most beautiful babies in all of Grey Sloan Memorial.
"Beautiful babies," a voice said from beside her.
Maggie turned to the left of her, "What are you doing here?"
"That's a question that you may have to answer," Iris replied.
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"Jackson, you have to go!" Carina yelled over her shoulder as Jackson continued to ask what's happening, "we have to get her bleeding under control or we will lose her!"
Jackson watched as the monitors continued to beep rapidly as he was dragged out of the room.
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"I don't want you anywhere near my children," Maggie turned to block the nursery window.
"Why?" Iris asked.
Maggie's face immediately contorted into anger, "What do you mean? You almost killed me and them."
Iris stood there staring at her and Maggie continued, "Every time I think about that day in the emergency room of the hospital, my heart stops beating for a few moments. My breath hitches and tears appear in my eyes—I'm back in that room staring at you, you with the hate in your eyes holding a gun on me. I'm forced to make a decision between you, my life and my children's lives and it was one that I didn't take a second to think through," Maggie's voice shook as she continued, "earlier that morning, me and Jackson were thinking about names for our children and by that evening, my husband was sitting by my hospital bed holding me while I wept hysterically. You took a day that was filled with happiness, a milestone for us and turned it into one of the worst days of our lives. You created a vision in your mind…a fantasy…that you were the jilted lover or romantic interest for my husband and you were willing to threaten me to make that known. I was angry and frightened and I did the only thing I could, I shot you and I wanted to stop you. Stop you from hurting me, stop you from hurting my babies, stop you from hurting my husband. We didn't deserve what you were trying to do!"
Iris blinked in front of her but said nothing.
"I'm sorry," Maggie threw up her hands, "not for what I did to you, but for your life. The life that you had before the surgery. I'm sorry that it was sad. I am sorry that you had it rough, but my husband's kindness should not have been used as a weapon. You made choices and one of them was to hold me hostage with a gun, do you know the damage you could have caused!?"
Iris stood there as Maggie continued, "I could have lost my children…Jackson and I could have lost those two little precious babies in there and you didn't care. You were so consumed with anger, hurt and resentment that you felt as if you needed to destroy our lives. It wasn't fair. You weren't being fair," Maggie cried, "I have no regrets for what I did that day in the emergency room. I did what I had to do. But I do deep down, pity you. You will never have the life that you were supposed to. You will never be able to fully enjoy the gift that Jackson gave you. I may never be able to forgive you for what you did, but telling you this…is a start for me."
Iris nodded before turning on her heels and walking away from Maggie without another word before disappearing before her eyes. Maggie breathed out a sigh of relief and turned back to the nursery window, "Hi My Babies," she whispered wiggling her fingers at them.
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Maggie opened her eyes to bright lights and Jackson holding her hand with his head on the bed asleep. "Jackson," she mumbled touching her stomach slightly and realizing that it was definitely not as big as it was when she went to sleep, "Jackson…where…where…where are the babies," she panicked trying to sit up, but feeling the pain as soon as she did, "did Iris take them?"
"Iris…no…Maggie, it's ok…calm down, they're in the nicu."
"Wait…what?"
"You lost a lot of blood," Jackson began as her eyes drifted to the IV hooked up beside her bed, "you had to have a cesarean remember, the babies were born. They are a little on the small side, 4lbs 6oz and 4lbs and 4oz, but Carina is pretty positive that they will be at 5 pounds pretty quickly."
"I want to see them," Maggie tried to sit up, but couldn't due to the pain shooting in her midsection.
"And you will very soon, you just need a little longer. Finish the transfusion and we will go see them, I promise," Jackson stated noticing the tears welling up in Maggie's eyes, "but I have to say, they are some of the cutest kids I've ever laid eyes on. Just as cute as Harriet. We made some gorgeous babies Maggie Pierce," he leaned over capturing her lips in a kiss.
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Maggie watched impatiently as the blood dripped from the IV slowly, "It won't drip any faster with you staring at it," Meredith commented. Maggie rolled her eyes and pouted. She'd sent Jackson downstairs with Catherine to check on the twins, "I hate that I can't see them and touch them yet," Maggie balled up her fists.
"It shouldn't be long; your body went through a lot over the last couple of hours. You almost died," Richard spoke up.
Maggie leaned back into her pillows. Carina had come in a couple of minutes after she woke up to tell her that the abruption caused her to hemorrhage. They were able to stop the bleeding with little to no long-term effects. She would be able to have more children, when she decided that was something she wanted to do. However, at that moment—she couldn't think about any potential children. She just wanted to see the children she had just given birth to again.
"This sucks," Maggie allowed the tears fall from her eyes.
Meredith rubbed her arm, "It will only be maybe 2 more hours before you are able to go downstairs and touch your two new best friends."
Maggie gave Meredith a half smile, "Show me the pictures again."
Meredith grinned opening the photos app on her phone showing Maggie pictures of the twins sleeping in their incubators along with Richard coming over to look too.
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Jackson entered the nicu where there were 8 incubators filled with premature babies and their parents. Catherine walked beside him as they stopped at the two incubators housing the two tiny infants. They were hooked up to a few machines monitoring their heartbeats and breathing. The tiny girl had a lamp over her incubator to clear up a minor issue of jaundice that would disappear in a few days. Catherine sighed happily, "Look at these darlings," she reached into the boy's incubator and touched his tiny hand that moved a little, "you can breathe now, by the way."
Jackson rubbed his hands over his face, "Can I?" he chuckled.
Catherine turned to him, "Your children are here and they are healthy, don't let these machines fool you. They are just perfect," she turned to the girl's incubator.
"They are, aren't they?"
"And Maggie, she's a soldier. She's going to be ok," Catherine touched his hand.
"I know, I just I know she's upstairs going crazy because she can't come down here and see them…touch them…you know," he reached in and touched the little girl's hand.
"Only a matter of time," Catherine smiled, "and you two will have a lifetime with these little ones."
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An hour later, Jackson walked into Maggie's hospital room. She was sleeping quietly with her hands resting on her stomach and the blood bag hanging over her bed was almost empty. He stood there admiring his wife for a few moments with a smile on his face. No matter what they'd come up against, they had come through it and at the end of it all—they had two of the most beautiful children as a representation of their commitment and love.
"Jackson," Maggie whispered half asleep.
"Hey," he walked in sitting next to her.
"The pain meds must have made me fall asleep, how are they?" she asked opening her eyes and looking back at him.
"Perfect," he answered, "Baby Girl Avery has a slight case of jaundice, but it won't last long and Baby Boy Avery is down there eating like he's never had a meal before."
Maggie smiled with her eyes closed, "They need names."
"And they will have them, right after you get a chance to touch them and hold them."
Maggie's eyes popped open and she grinned, "Hold them?"
"Yes, hold them," Jackson answered, "and I want you to know something, you are all kinds of wonderful Maggie Pierce-Avery."
"Am I?"
"You were strong today."
"I just laid there, Carina did all the work," Maggie chuckled sleepily.
"No, you had to fight to stay alive there. Yes, Carina did the surgery, but I'm pretty sure your desire to be with your children brought you through everything today. I love you so much, do you know that?" Jackson touched her cheek kissing her lips.
"I love you too," Maggie whispered as he rested his head against hers, "while I was out on the table, I had a dream…I guess."
"A dream?" Jackson raised his eyebrow, "about what?"
"Iris. I confronted her about everything and oddly enough, it felt good. It feels like a weight has been lifted."
"How do you feel?" Jackson asked.
Maggie smiled, "Good."
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When Maggie opened up her eyes the next morning, she felt like a kid on Christmas morning. After Carina examined her and gave her the all clear, Jackson wheeled her down to the nicu. She could barely contain her excitement and her extra dose of pain killers, helped her feel no pain as she waited anxiously to see the two people who had shared her body for months. The ones that she was ready to kill for. The two people who she would protect with her last breath.
When the doors opened to the room, Maggie smiled as tears formed in her eyes. There were incubators with smaller babies and worried parents, but she focused on two incubators towards the back of the large room. She could see the pink placard on the incubator on the left and then the blue placard on the incubator on the right. It was a surreal experience for her. She'd had months to imagine this moment and although, she hadn't imagined it exactly like this—it was a moment. Her giddiness threatened to make her jump out of her wheelchair.
"Hello Parents!" Carrie, one of the nicu nurses grinned.
"Hi Carrie," Jackson smiled.
Maggie was speechless as she held her hands up to her mouth. Her eyes darted from one incubator to the next. Inside were two tiny babies sleeping. Their almond skin, tiny hands balled up and little tiny legs and feet made her cry, "They are so tiny."
"Yes, but they are gaining quickly. Trust me, they will be out of here in no time," Carrie beamed, "now Mommy, who would you like to hold first?"
Maggie looked from one incubator to the other, "My Baby Girl?" she asked as Jackson squeezed the sanitizer in her hands.
Carrie smiled as she removed the baby girl gingerly from the incubator and Maggie held out her arms. When the tiny newborn was placed in her arms, she wasn't sure what she thought it would feel like to hold her daughter the first time—but this, felt like heaven to her. She was so tiny and so light, Maggie gently reached up and touched the little girl's cheek and then her curly black hair, "Look at her Jackson," Maggie cooed looking over as he held her baby boy.
"I know, gorgeous right?" Jackson winked.
"Absolutely," Maggie agreed.
Ten minutes later, Maggie held her son in her arms and her heart absolutely melted. He smiled at her with his eyes still closed and she knew—another Avery man had stolen her heart. "Look at him smiling at me, what a heartbreaker," Maggie whispered in awe as the little boy clutched onto her pinky.
"Well he gets it honest," Jackson commented.
Maggie glanced over at Jackson, "If I wasn't a hormonal wreck right now, I would have a comeback for you."
"No need, you'll see soon. He's going to break every heart he comes in contact with—until he meets the one who has the ability to scare him into thinking that she could break his," Jackson smiled.
Maggie looked down at her little boy and then over at her husband and little girl and nothing else mattered at the moment, but their little family.
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"I just want to spend every moment with them!" Maggie gushed as she walked slowly into her hospital room, three days later. Due to her complications, she was looking at being discharged at the same time the twins would be.
"Well, you will when we finally get them home," Jackson helped her get in the bed.
"And my dad will be here soon, I would have the babies while he's on a three week business trip overseas."
"Yes, but…" Jackson picked up a folder on the desk in the room, "we have some paperwork here."
She nodded, "I know, we've waited long enough."
"So names…"
"I've thought about our son's name for a long time."
"Ok."
"And you know, throughout my life, I've had a handful of men who have touched my heart. My father, my first medical school professor…Richard. When I look at my son, I want him to know that he was named after a great man and one that he would be proud to share a name with," Maggie smiled.
"So we're naming our son after your first medical school professor," Jackson deadpanned.
Maggie laughed, "No, Peter doesn't seem like it would fit that little boy downstairs."
"Ok, so William?"
Maggie shook her head.
"Richard will be touched, I know that he…"
"Jackson!" Maggie shook her head, "we're naming our son Jackson…JJ for short, Jackson Fox Avery."
Jackson stood up from his chair, "Are you sure?"
"Jackson, you are everything that I want my son to be. The good and the bad, I think you deserve to have a namesake and I think JJ will love being it," Maggie reached out and took his hand kissing it.
"I love you," he kissed her forehead, "so Jackson Fox Avery, Jr. it is," he replied completing one of the forms, "so what about our little princess?"
"Well what do you have in mind?" Maggie asked, "I named our son, when you see our daughter's face and I still get shivers when I say that, what name comes to mind?"
Jackson thought for a moment, "Avalyn…"
"Avalyn," Maggie rolled the name around in her head for a few.
Jackson nodded, "Avalyn Diane," he answered, "Avalyn means Beautiful Breath of Life and if you think about it, that's exactly what she is. Your mother's name as her middle name means kind of lends to that…like she's bringing into our lives Diane's spirit and her essence."
Maggie shook her head as tears appeared in her eyes, "You're going to have me on mood stabilizers any moment now, how could you go and give our daughter one of the most beautiful names, I've ever heard and then you add in my mom's name…who are you Jackson Avery?"
He winked at her.
She wiped her eyes, "Little Lyn."
"Ava," Jackson stated.
"What?" Maggie asked dabbing her eyes.
"Her nickname is Ava."
"Nooooo it's Lyn," Maggie replied.
"I named her, I'm calling her Ava."
"I gave birth to her, I'm calling her Lyn," Maggie bantered with him.
Jackson smiled, "She's going to be so confused."
Maggie chuckled, "Probably, but she will probably prefer to be called Ava…I can tell right now, she's going to be a Daddy's Girl by the way she smiles whenever you hold her."
Jackson beamed with pride as he continued completing the forms.
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The next day, Maggie sat across from her father holding JJ as she held Lyn, who slept quietly in her arms. Watching her father with her son touched her heart. The moment that the nurse placed the infant in his arms, her heart grew ten times more and then she was overcome with a feeling of sadness. There was never a moment in her life where she imagined her dad holding her child and her mother not being in the room, "He's so tiny," Bill stated touching the little boy's hand.
"He is, but they are gaining ounces daily. The doctors say that they will be able to go home maybe in a week," Maggie replied hopefully.
"And I have to say, they both look exactly as you did when we laid eyes on you in that hospital."
Maggie gazed down at Lyn. She wasn't sure who she resembled between herself and Jackson, but she knew she was a gorgeous child.
"Catherine says that JJ looks exactly like Jackson as a baby," Maggie glanced over, "I know he has Jackson's eyes that's for sure and Lyn has mine."
Bill shrugged, "How are you two doing?"
Maggie smiled, "We're good. The arrival of these two was scary, but Jackson never showed any fear and he calmed me. It was more than I could I ever ask for in a husband and father to my children."
"He's a good man then," Bill answered.
Maggie raised her eyebrows with a smile, "Paying Jackson a compliment eh?" Bill shrugged, "and you know Dad, he named Lyn. He gave her Mom's name as her middle name."
Bill looked over and smiled with tears glistening in his eyes, "A good man, indeed," he stated quietly, "you know she would be fawning over these two angels, right?"
Maggie swallowed blinking back tears, "I know she would. I wouldn't be able to hold either of them between you two."
"I'm glad you are aware."
Maggie looked down and touched Lyn's hand, "If you even have a quarter of the personality, your Nana had, you will be the kindest, most patient person in the world—trust me, I would know."
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That evening, Jackson headed down the stairs of the penthouse with a bag filled with some of Maggie's things that she requested during her hospital stay and a few stuffed animals to put around the twins area in the nicu unit. When he reached the door and opened it, he found Bill on the other side of it. His surprise was written all over his face; had purposefully left the hospital right after Bill arrived to give him that time with Maggie and the twins. Bill was not his favorite person in the world—but he knew that Bill would take care of her.
"Jackson, I wanted to come see you before you headed back to the hospital. Richard, Catherine and Amelia are with Maggie now."
"Umm, ok," moving out of the way, Jackson allowed Bill entrance into the penthouse. As soon as he crossed the threshold, Bill took in all of the boxes from Baby2Baby.
"My mother went a little overboard," Jackson gave a half smile.
"Yeah…well…I'm not sure you will have room for all of the things that me and Angela bought."
Jackson chuckled, "We'll find room."
"So I wanted to talk, but first…" Bill reached into his coat and retrieved two cigars, "Cuban, I'm not sure you've had time to properly celebrate the twins birth," he held one out to Jackson.
Jackson glanced down at the cigar and realized this was the olive branch, "Let's go out on the balcony," Jackson offered with Bill following.
Minutes later, they were puffing on the cigars that Bill brought over in silence. Jackson wasn't ready to speak and he figured, if Bill had anything more to say, he would say it, "The twins are beautiful," Bill began.
"They are," Jackson agreed.
"Maggie told me that you named Lyn…"
"Ava," Jackson corrected him.
"Oook…Avalyn," Bill chuckled, "she told me that you named her and gave her Diane's name as her middle name."
"How could I not? Maggie's mother meant a lot to her. She was the one who in some weird way put us on this course together. I thought it was the best way to honor her."
"And believe me, she would be honored," Bill stated puffing on his cigar and then turning to Jackson, "thank you for being such a great husband to my daughter. Despite all of my fussing at you, your love for and your loyalty to my daughter has never wavered. You're a great man Jackson Avery and that little boy will have some great footsteps to follow in."
Jackson turned to Bill, "Thank you, I appreciate hearing that."
Bill turned to Jackson holding out his hand with a smile and Jackson clasped it shaking it.
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"I don't think Richard or Amelia will be leaving that nursery any time soon, they are just taking turns holding a different baby," Catherine helped Maggie take a seat in one of the chairs in her room.
"Those twins are going to be beyond spoiled, we wasted money on cribs," Maggie laughed.
"Well," Catherine stated as she began to brush Maggie's hair, "what do you expect, a baby has a way of melting everyone's heart—but two? Chile please."
Maggie nodded as Catherine began to part her hair brushing her curls. Maggie caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror that morning and nearly had a breakdown. Jackson tried to reassure her that her hair looked fine, but she was traumatized at how wild it was. Catherine walked in on the exchange and promised to help her later with a new hairstyle.
Maggie stared in the mirror as Catherine worked, "Little JJ is the spitting image of Jackson, I have to admit. Quieter though," Catherine chuckled, "my son had this way of screaming his head off for attention, guess in some ways, he's still that way."
Maggie smiled.
"And Maggie, thank you for the Fox nod in JJ's name. It means a lot. My father was proud of so many things, but his name was something that he said could never be taken away from him. To see that little boy carrying on the Fox name in a way means everything to me."
"There was no other option," Maggie answered looking up at Catherine.
Catherine squeezed her shoulder before starting to grease her scalp. Maggie closed her eyes and for one brief second, she was a little girl sitting on the carpet in front of the large television with her mother braiding her hair during their Sunday afternoon ritual. Her heart constricted at that moment and she felt her eyes watering at the moment.
"Maggie, what's wrong…I know you're not tender headed," Catherine stopped and looked down at her.
"It's nothing…nothing," Maggie wiped her eyes, "I just for a few moments, really, really, really missed my mom. Since I had the twins, I've thought about what she would have said or what she would have done…how she would feel about Lyn's name. I miss her all the time, but now? I miss her so much that it hurts."
Catherine nodded, "She's here. She's in your heart and now she's in the heart of those babies down there. I know it hurts, but Maggie—she's here with you every step of the way."
Maggie nodded, "Thank you," she touched Catherine's hand, "and thank you for being a true Mother in Love to me."
"Pfft, of course. You are the only person next to me, who can put Jackson in his place," Catherine kissed Maggie on the cheek before going back to Maggie's hair as a smile spread across her face.
Well, this chapter was my gift to all my fellow Jaggie fans. Nothing but fawning and love for those babies. I also want to give a shout out to my Twitter BB jaimejaggie! She gave me the lovely name of Avalyn!
Please show your love/like, I appreciate it.