CHAPTER 18: BREAK THE ICE
Heat is energy in transfer. The first law of thermodynamics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed. With his body altered at the cellular level to become a living battery for all forms of energy, Lincoln Loud, as the crimefighter Ace Savvy, has the ability to take those forms of energy and transfer it into any object of his choosing, making said object explode.
Cold is the absence of energy in transfer. If one were to put an area at absolute zero temperature or below, all forms of atoms and molecules would come to a complete standstill; no energy in motion. Icebreaker can freeze his surroundings and cover them completely in ice; reducing temperatures to negative numbers within seconds.
After hearing of a battle with his colleague, Nailbomb, Icebreaker has come to fight with Ace Savvy himself, seeking out a thrill on the town by battling its first official superhero. Ace Savvy, having only battled wannabes and morons dressed in pathetic costumes, was not adjusted to battling actual threats; his fights being nothing more than little league territory.
Nonetheless, facing harsh criticism and scorn from the citizens of Royal Woods for his failure to stop Nailbomb, Ace Savvy cannot afford another defeat. With his normal patrol giving way to a super-battle, the boy wonder readied a set of cards, channeling power within the paper to fight this new foe.
With two of his sisters, Lana and Luan, shopping in the store, however, there was an added challenge to an already difficult task. Not only would this battle would not only be physically challenging on the fight itself, but also a psychologically challenging in the way of protecting his family from this new supervillain.
"So, you're a friend of Nailbomb's, huh? How many more friends do you two have?" Ace Savvy asked.
"Oh, we've got a few, and you'll be sure to meet them soon enough. For now, how about we stop wasting time and get to fighting?" Icebreaker asked.
"Yeah, before we get to that, can I just ask you a real quick question?"
"What?! What do you mean, 'a question'? What do you think this is, a seminar?"
"I have to do this thing for school, and it has to do with fighting you guys. It's the whole reason that I started being a superhero in the first place."
With Ace Savvy's reasoning being not only bringing curiosity to the villain, Icebreaker also found the prospect of learning of his reasoning for being a superhero to be promising; wishing to know more. As such, Icebreaker permitted the question, listening carefully to his enemy's inquiry.
"Oh, I see... Sure, why not? Ask away." Icebreaker said.
"Alright. Why did you specifically come here to Royal Woods to commit crimes when you could have gone somewhere else where I wouldn't stop you? I mean, there's probably a lot of places you could steal from and freeze and not have to run into any superheroes to fight you." Ace Savvy said.
"Well, as a matter of fact, it's you that brought people like us here, kid. We were all really waiting for was a hero to fight."
"Yeah, yeah, but why? I mean, why do you want to go out of your way to fight me?"
"We've got our reasons, kid. Like most bad guys, at least competent ones, we've got our own agenda we're not too interested in sharing."
"Oh, come on, can't you share one little detail? Please, just tell me a little about your evil plan? I really need a passing grade."
"Hell, no. Now, I answered your question, let's have ourselves that fight already."
Not allowing Ace Savvy to voice any more protests, Icebreaker ended the conversation to begin the fight, acting as the one to make the first strike. Extending his hand towards Ace Savvy, Icebreaker let out a light blue beam of energy from his hand, sending it straight for the spade-spangled hero and his sidekick.
Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack, not wanting to get hit by the ice blast, each ducked away in differing directions, leaving the blast to hit and freeze a stack of 12-packs of Yahoo Soda cans. As a result of being frozen instantly, the soda expanded and stretched out their cans, misbalancing the boxes and causing them to collapse and clatter on the ground.
With both of his targets separated, Icebreaker now had to select which of the two heroes he would freeze first. Having come for Ace Savvy specifically, the choice between the two was rather obvious, leading him to aim his next blast towards the caped card dealer. Just as Icebreaker was preparing his own attack, however, Ace Savvy had an attack of his own to throw back.
Taking his charged playing cards in hand, Ace Savvy tossed the cards towards Icebreaker, aiming to shatter the icy villain before anything else could be frozen by his touch. The cards did not meet with their intended target, however, as they were cancelled out by Icebreaker's beam; freezing solid in an instant. With no more energy left within the cards to explode, the frozen cards fell to the ground, shattering to pieces.
Avoiding another ice blast from the villain by ducking behind an aisle, Ace Savvy realized that this villain, like Nailbomb, would not be affected by his attacks so easily. As such, it came time for him to rethink his strategy, needing a new way to fight this enemy. Not able to accomplish this task on his own, it came time for Ace Savvy to call in assistance in achieving his goal.
"Lis, you there?" Ace Savvy asked.
"Ash alwaysh. I'm getting shome newsh that you're fighting another shupervillain?" Lisa asked.
"Yeah, it's some guy calling himself Icebreaker. Got anything on him?"
"Looking him up now... Yesh, it sheemsh that your opponent hash the ability to freeze any object by projecting shome short of 'ishce blasht', redushcing itsh temperature to below zero in shecondsh. The blasht comprishesh of a plashma that transhfersh energy out of itsh target and releashesh it in to the shurrounding air, leaving the target frozen."
"Yeah, I figured, could you give some pointers on how to actually fight him, please? He can freeze my cards before they can hit him."
"I'm working on that. From what it sheems on hish filesh, Icebreaker wash shubject to an exshperiment that involved redushcing one'sh body temperature for cryogenic preservashtion, and his body temperature is in the negativesh."
"So, let me guess, we heat him up, it'll hurt him?"
"Theoretically. Sheeing ash you are currently in a shupermarket, you may not have much to work with, but it definitely ish worth a shot."
"Got it."
Ending his transmission with Lisa, Ace Savvy began thinking of a plan to stop Icebreaker, focusing on a means to counter his freezing power with heat. Going for an obvious solution, the first step of logic led him to head to the deli, where many cooking instruments are used, and, as such, much heat would be put out. Moving further down the aisles to make his way to the back of the store, Ace Savvy began to make his way towards the deli, seeking out a means to fight Icebreaker.
"One-Eyed Jack, this is Ace Savvy, do you read me?" Ace Savvy asked.
"I'm hiding in the produce section right now, but I can hear you just fine." One-Eyed Jack responded.
"I'm heading to the deli to find something to fight Icebreaker."
"The deli? What are you going to fight him with, a rotisserie chicken?"
"No, but maybe something hot in there can counter his freezing power. Can you hold his attention for about... 2 minutes?"
"Are you serious?! Fighting the poop monster was one thing, but getting frozen solid?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Jack, I thought you were actually interested in protecting innocent people and not being selfish. I'm sorry that I misjudged you."
"Okay, okay, I'll distract him."
On the store's produce aisle, One-Eyed Jack was given the objective of gaining the attention of Icebreaker and keeping it away from Ace Savvy, giving his partner a deadline of 2 minutes to find something to defeat the villain with. Armed with his pair of wrist-shooters, firing off poker chips at a nonlethal speed, gaining the attention of Icebreaker was an easy enough task, but the real challenge was soon to come.
After landing in a few poker chips into the back of Icebreaker's head, the supervillain immediately switched targets over to One-Eyed Jack, aiming to reduce him to a human icicle in an instant. Aiming an ice blast towards One-Eyed Jack, Icebreaker's plasma blast missed its target; the sidekick and intended target ducking down behind a shelf, causing the blast to hit a section of oranges instead.
Unable to bring himself to pop back up again, One-Eyed Jack began to cower in fear, not wanting to face against the frozen fiend again. With his fear preventing him from looking back up, and thus preventing him from seeing the next danger to come his way. Rather than try to lure his target out, Icebreaker found a way to expose his target instead.
Aiming his next blast towards the shelf One-Eyed Jack was hiding behind, Icebreaker froze the barrier solid, weakening its metal structure and rendering it fragile. Approaching the frozen shelf, Icebreaker delivered a sharp kick to it, causing it to shatter and fall to the floor. With no more shelf to protect One-Eyed Jack, the caped sidekick turned to see the icy villain looking right back at him, ready to freeze him solid.
"Uh, Ace, really gonna need your help right about now!" One-Eyed Jack said.
"Give me a minute, I'm almost there." Ace Savvy said.
Watching as Icebreaker prepared his next blast to aim straight at him, One-Eyed Jack realized that there was no sign of him leaving this battleground alive; his life surely to end in an icy grave. Not able to watch that fate befall him, One-Eyed Jack closed his eyes and covered them with his hands, showing himself to be completely at the villain's mercy.
Before Icebreaker could fire his blast, however, he was suddenly interrupted with a pie being thrown to his face, his sense of taste discerning it as key lime. Wiping the pie from his face, Icebreaker found the pie-thrower to be Luan Loud, the wannabe comedian with a stronger taste for bad puns than Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"Looks lime you found the key to success! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Get it?" Luan asked.
"Hey, bitch, Amy Schumer called. She says there's room for only one awful woman comedian in the world." Icebreaker said.
Watching Icebreaker aim his next blast towards Luan, the fear that overcame One-Eyed Jack dissipated in an instant; having another life on the line superseding his own fears of death. Leaping across the store to move Luan out of danger, One-Eyed Jack knocked her to the floor, sweeping her free of the ice blast. While a few packs of lettuce and spinach were frozen instantly, the same could not be said about Luan; One-Eyed Jack's efforts having saved her from the blast.
"Wow, you really saved me there, I would've been iced if you hadn't been there. You know, for a moment there, time really started to freeze for me. I'm surprised that fall didn't knock me cold." Luan said.
"Luan- Uh, I mean, random citizen, would you please keep your mind on staying alive rather than puns for a minute?" One-Eyed Jack asked.
"Okay, fine, no need to be so cold about it. I'll stay frosty during this fight."
Having saved Luan from the blast, One-Eyed Jack began fleeing down to the other end of the store, bringing the rescued Luan with him. Icebreaker, not finished with his either of his victims, began pursuing the two down the aisles, preparing to freeze both of them solid.
"Hey, Ace, having a little trouble with Icebreaker here. You almost ready with your way of beating him?" One-Eyed Jack asked.
"On my way now. Just make your way towards the deli." Ace Savvy said.
Following the hero's orders, One-Eyed Jack began making his way towards the deli, continuing to bring Luan with him. Just as the pursuit by Icebreaker continued, Luan's endless puns also followed through; her need to tell puns overriding the sense of danger they were clearly in.
"You know, this whole chase is starting to make by blood run cold. Why do you think he chose to attack this place, to get some cold hard cash?" Luan asked.
"Girl, could you stop with the puns for just a minute?" One-Eyed Jack asked.
"Look, I'm getting chased by a guy who freezes things with his hands. Forgive me if I can't help but try to lighten the mood to take my own mind off sudden death!"
Making his way out of the corner, Ace Savvy appeared out from one of the aisles, having in his hands his means of fighting Icebreaker. Needing to keep his sidekick and sister out of the way, Ace Savvy called for the two to move themselves for his attack.
"Get back as far away as you can!" Ace Savvy said.
Just as soon as the two moved themselves, Ace Savvy prepared his weapons in his hands. After scavenging the deli area of the store, the spade-spangled hero commandeered a set of heated elements from the pre-cooked chickens, preparing to use them against Icebreaker. Watching Icebreaker make his approach, Ace Savvy readied the elements in his hands, preparing to give them as much power as possible.
Using himself as a living power source, Ace Savvy fed energy into the heated elements, causing them to glow bright red and emit a large amount of heat. While an average heated element of the sort can only emit so much heat, barely enough to even harm one from a light touch, receiving a large amount of energy from the living energy conduit Ace Savvy caused much more heat to be output than normal.
With temperatures in the surrounding area increasing to several hundred degrees in a short time frame, the air around the hero and villain began to turn into a living oven, burning and cooking surrounding items. Ace Savvy, no longer able to be harmed by any forms of energy like this, was spared a painful and unkind torture that Icebreaker was not so fortunate to avoid.
Just as he and Lisa had gambled, Icebreaker began to weaken under the increased temperature, beginning to sweat profusely and grow dizzy from the affair. If such an attack was kept up by Ace Savvy, his defeat would be all but insured. While his plan of attack was working flawlessly for the time being, the effectiveness suddenly came to a quick stop with another unforeseen problem.
Most heating elements are composed of nichrome, which has a melting point of 2,550 °F. In order to prevent overheating, a certain amount of voltage and wattage are fed through the metal, keeping it just hot enough to warm up food. Ace Savvy, however, was pushing the limits of the metal far beyond what had ever been tested through, causing the elements to melt in his hands from being fed so much energy.
By a simple mistake in his own attack by not knowing the proper energy to use, Ace Savvy melted the heated elements, leaving him without any means of attack against his opponent. Making a quick recovery from the assault on his body from the large dispersion of heat, Icebreaker made a counterattack to amend for the damage done.
Firing a blast of plasma straight to Ace Savvy's chest, Icebreaker sent the superhero landing on his back, the attack knocking out all consciousness in his body for a moment. More importantly, where his energy level was putting his eyes to a yellowish color, the ice blast had reduced it sharply to a shade of orange. Feeling his sudden loss of power, Ace Savvy found the task of rising back to his feet a new challenge, unable to do so before Icebreaker could attack again.
Before Icebreaker could fire another ice blast, however, the sharp blow of a hammer landed in his head, causing him to lose his own consciousness for a few seconds. The one who swung the hammer was none other than the other Loud sister in the store: Lana, having saved Ace Savvy's life from the foe. Needing to bring the hero to safety, Lana dragged him behind an aisle, leading him to a place of safety for him to recover.
"Hey, Ace Savvy, you okay, man? C'mon, dude, you gotta wake up!" Lana said.
Trying to go for a means of waking him up faster, Lana removed Ace Savvy's mask in an attempt to open his eyes back up. While the action had managed to awaken Ace Savvy, it had unwittingly revealed his secret identity to Lana.
"What the-?! Lincoln?!" Lana asked.
"Huh? What? I'm not Lincoln, what are you talking about?!" Ace Savvy asked.
Lana held up Ace Savvy's removed mask, showing that she indeed knew his true identity.
"Dude, you're Ace Savvy? You've been this whole time?" Lana asked.
"There's no time to go into this, Lana. Tell me, what color are my eyes?" Ace Savvy asked.
"Uh... They look kind of an orange-y. Why?"
"That's how my energy level is determined. That means that ice blast Icebreaker shot me with took some energy out of me. If he does that at least 2 more times, I'm dead."
"Oh, crap. Well, what can I do?"
"You can start by getting yourself and Luan to safety. I don't want either of you getting hurt."
"C'mon, Linc, there's got to be some way we can help. Like, that guy has freezing powers, right? Why don't you use this?"
Lana held up a bottle of antifreeze, proposing it to Ace Savvy as a means of protecting himself from Icebreaker's attacks.
"Antifreeze?" Ace Savvy asked.
"Yeah. This stuff is supposed to make water from freezing or overheating. Maybe it could give you some extra protection against that guy." Lana said.
"Okay, then, give it to me."
With each taking a jug of antifreeze and opening them up, Ace Savvy began drenching his suit in the fluid, with Lana helping him in soaking down his costume. Having gone through a few bottles of antifreeze, the task was completed; leaving Ace Savvy drenched in the liquid and protected from the next attack of Icebreaker. Tying his mask back on, the hero was once again ready to face his opponent.
Just as the two finished their preparations, Icebreaker had managed to regain his consciousness, rising back to his feet again. Less than impressed with being subdued with a hammer to his head, Icebreaker was more than intent on finishing off Ace Savvy, wanting to freeze him even more so than before.
Making his way to the aisle, Icebreaker was plenty ready to make good on freezing Ace Savvy, firing another blast of ice towards him. However, not counting on his newfound protection of antifreeze, his attack was rendered useless; not making its way through to its target. Having his new line of defense against Icebreaker, it was now time to adapt this as a means of offense.
Taking a set of cards, also coated in antifreeze, Ace Savvy charged them up and tossed them towards Icebreaker, aiming carefully to defeat the villain this time around. Icebreaker, trying to freeze the cards before they could reach him once again, found this means of defense also useless; the cards not freezing underneath his blasts. Also, with the antifreeze increasing their high temperature point, more energy was allowed to be stored within, making the incoming explosion even more devastating.
Not having a strong means of defending himself against the incoming cards, Icebreaker took the full blunt of the explosions, knocking him against a shelf and knocking the entire rack down, falling against the others in a domino effect. With the villain being left covered and cluttered in various groceries and goods, it seems that the fight was over; all stamina in Icebreaker's body knocked out of him.
Collecting himself out of the rubble, Icebreaker stood to his feet once again, but barely able to hold himself from falling back down under exhaustion. Knowing that he would not be able to fight against Ace Savvy any longer, Icebreaker knew that it was time to take his leave of the battle.
"I guess you're not as much a pushover as Nailbomb made you out to be. Not bad at all, kid." Icebreaker said.
"And it's only my second week on the job. Now, before the cops come and take you away, how about you tell me what you other supervillain bad guys are up to in Royal Woods?" Ace Savvy asked.
"Not a chance, punk. We're not done with you by a long shot. Who knows, though? Maybe you'll just get lucky and not only find out our grand scheme, but stop us all by yourself."
"Really?"
"Hell, no, moron. You think this is a goddamn Hollywood film where the good guys win? This is real life, kid."
"Actually, it's some basement-dweller's fanfiction, but, it's real life to us, so I guess you have somewhat of a point."
"I'd ask you what that means, but I gotta get out of here. See you later, super-loser."
"I don't think so, Iceman. You're staying right here where-"
Ace Savvy prepared another set of cards to subdue Icebreaker, but found his action quickly stopped short by the aforementioned villain blasting a wall of ice between himself and the hero. Taking full advantage of his newly-created barrier, Icebreaker began darting out the front door, making his escape from the store and back to the villains' hideout.
While he made a quick attempt to catch up, tossing his next card into the wall and punching a hole to run through, Icebreaker made too fast an escape for Ace Savvy to reach back up to, leaving the villain to escape. His victory over the villain might have been stolen from him, but the success of having saved all within the store had still remained; no innocent lives taken.
One of said lives, Lana Loud, expressed her gratitude towards Ace Savvy with a hug, thankful for seeing her brother defeat the villain, even if he had temporarily escaped. Always welcoming of a loving hug from his sisters, Ace Savvy returned the hug, lifting Lana onto his shoulders once the hug was over.
"Wow, that was awesome! Lincoln, since when did you start this superhero stuff?" Lana asked.
"The night before Lisa and I went to the junkyard. I stepped into this huge particle accelerator, got these powers of absorbing energy and making it explode stuff, and, now, I'm using it to fight bad guys." Ace Savvy said.
"That's cool!"
"Yeah. Oh, that reminds me, I actually did find a working carburetor at the junkyard, but I blew it up. Sorry about that."
"Oh, man. Well, that's why I was here in the first place; Luan wanted to get some prank supplied, so I figured I'd check the auto supplies for one. I already checked every other auto part store in the area, and they're all on backorder. Unfortunately, it looks like they don't have it, either."
"Dangit, now I feel really bad about blowing up your carburetor."
"Hey, don't sweat it, Lincoln, I can find another."
"Oh, another thing, call me 'Ace Savvy' in public, I don't want to spill my secret indentity."
"Oh, yeah, right, sorry, Lin- I mean, Ace Savvy."
With the affair over, One-Eyed Jack and Luan reunited with Ace Savvy and Lana, respectively, and shared a collective relief towards the defeat of Icebreaker.
"I gotta say, you really put that guy on ice. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Get it?" Luan asked.
"Uh... Yeah, random citizen, we get it." Ace Savvy said.
"Hey, you know, this is the second time you've helped us in particular- No, wait, there was also that time you saved Lola from Nailbomb. You know, you have a funny habit of showing up around us."
"Oh... Well, I... Uh... I get around, you know?"
"Maybe, but there's something familiar about you, I just can't ace it. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Get it? But, seriously, there's something really strange about you that I can't place."
"Well, uh, you know, Luan, Lincoln does read a lot of those Ace Savvy comics, and that's probably where you're thinking from." Lana said.
"No, no, it's not that, it's something else."
"I mean, I don't really see what it could be. I mean, I swear, I've never seen anybody like him my whole life before. No, sir, never seen a person even slightly resembling him, nope."
Lana gave a wink and a smile towards Ace Savvy, letting him know that she was handling Luan's suspicions well.
"Huh. Maybe you're right. Oh, well, thanks all the same for saving us." Luan said.
"Don't mention it, fair citizens, just here to help." Ace Savvy said.
"Yeah, just here to- Ah... Ah... Ah... AH-CHOO!" One-Eyed Jack sneezed.
Upon rubbing his nose with his sleeve, it came to One-Eyed Jack's revelation that he had caught a cold from Icebreaker's presence; his ice powers reducing the air temperature around him long enough to contract said cold. Before anyone could comment on One-Eyed Jack's infected state, and before Luan could make any means of a pun towards him, the manager of the Super Mart approached the group, bringing with him a laundry list of complaints about the heroes.
"You two! This is all your fault!" The manager yelled.
"What? Us? We got rid of this guy!" Ace Savvy said.
"And who did he say he was here for? YOU! If you weren't in my store, he wouldn't have attacked my customers!"
"But we did beat him, you know, and you're not going to have any more problems from him." One-Eyed Jack said.
"Oh, I might not have any problems from him, but how am I going to deal with THIS PROBLEM?!"
The manager pointed towards the aisles of his store; the entirety of its setup completely wrecked and destroyed as a result of the battle between Ace Savvy and Icebreaker. Now, it seems that his victory over Icebreaker was not only taken from him, but also his victory of saving the store.
"Uh... sorry?" Ace Savvy asked.
"'Sorry'? 'Sorry'? 'SORRY' ISN'T GOING TO FIX MY STORE, YOUNG MAN!" The manager screamed.
"Hey, pal, you hold it right there, if it wasn't for Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack, my sister and I would be icicles. They saved our lives." Lana protested.
"Yeah! And if that's the way you're going to treat heroes, then we'll be taking our business elsewhere. Have a nice day." Luan said.
Escorting their heroes out the door, Luan and Lana brought Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack out of the store, leaving the manager to deal with the excessive mess on his own, without anyone to blame or yell at for the mess anymore, and two less customers. Out of all the days that were considered his worst business days, this would definitely be the top spot.
"I knew I should've stayed in the Army." The manager said.
Later on, as Luan and Lana made their way home, Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack began making their way back to Flip's for a wardrobe change; both needing to head back home to keep with their secret identities. Moving up to the roof and changing back into their regular clothes, the heroes shared over their thoughts on the events that transpired.
"Well, so much for making any comeback from Nailbomb." Lincoln said.
"What do you mean, Lincoln? You beat that guy and saved your sisters, not to mention the other shoppers. I'd call that a win." Clyde said.
"Yeah, but I seriously did some damage at the Super Mart, and I didn't catch the guy."
"But there'll be a next time, right?"
"Yeah, but how much damage is he gonna do before I stop him again? And what if he gets away again?"
"You're worrying too much, man. Like you said, this is your second week on the job, you're still working out the kinks and- Ah... Ah... Ah... AH-CHOO! Ugh, speaking of 'next time', I don't think I'll be able to help you these next few days. I'll need some time to get over this cold."
"Sure, I can take care of myself. Just make sure you heal fast."
"Oh, I will, I've got a strong immune system. You just stay safe out there, okay?"
"I will, and when you get better, it'll be Clincoln McCloud back as Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack again!"
"You know it!"
Further into the day, Lincoln, now back in his civilian form, stepped back inside his home, ready to rest and recover from a lengthy battle. While the rest and relaxation ahead of him looks more than appealing after the fight he had pushed through, the consequences of the battle still linger on in his mind; the complaints of the manager and the damage done to the store taunting him.
Just like he always does with his own problems, Lincoln once again speaks it out to you, as if you were too dumb to figure out the conflict on your own. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he loves doing this just because he loves the sound of his own voice.
"I mean, I guess I should listen to Clyde, but I can't shake that I still screwed up somehow. After I lost to Nailbomb, people were all starting to crap on me, and, after letting this guy get away, I can't help but feel like that people are still gonna trash me for this, too. Even though I beat the guy, people are probably still going to side with the store owner, saying that it was my fault Icebreaker was there in the first place. I mean... is it? Was this whole thing a good idea? I don't know. I thought that I wanted to do this and become who I was supposed to be, but I didn't think it'd be this hard. All my sister, with the things they love, they do what they do and make it look easy. Luna's a great musician, Lynn's a great athlete, Lana's a great mechanic, and so on. Was I wrong? Is this not what I'm supposed to be? In any case, Lana and Lucy now know that I'm Ace Savvy, along with Lisa, of course, all I can do is hope that no one else finds out, especially not Mom or-" Lincoln began to say.
Upon opening the door to his room, Lincoln looked to see his father sitting on his bed, patiently awaiting his arrival back home.
"...Dad?" Lincoln asked.
"Hey, son, you've been out a while. Whatcha been up to?" Lynn Sr. asked.
"Uh... I was... just walking, mainly. I've been putting a lot of thought into the summer school project, and I guess I needed a break to get my head straight."
"Oh, I see, good to take a break once and a while. I bet there's a lot going on in your mind recently; leaving you to try to figure it all out on your own, right?"
"Yeah, you could say that. So, why are you in my room?"
"Well, son, I started to have this conversation with you at Dairyland, but we had to cut it short because of that whole... Well, you know. So, I figured I put this off enough, so I wanted to finish that talk with you now."
"Ugh, come on, Dad, can this wait until some other time? I'm pretty tired."
"Please, son, you're becoming a young man soon, and I want you to be ready for when that happens. You're the only son I have, and I want to make sure you make it through life alright. I haven't been able to have a man-to-man talk in a really long time, and I wanted to make sure you're safe in everything you do."
"Okay, okay, fine. So, what's this talk about?"
"Well, just sit down on the bed and I'll show you."
Following his father's wish, Lincoln sat down next to Lynn Sr. on the bed, anxiously awaiting whatever may come with this particular talk. Having prepared himself for this all day, Lynn Sr. pulled out a large book and held it in front of him, getting ready to read the entire contents.
The title of the book was called 'The Wonders and Joys of Sex You Thought You'd Never Know.' Upon seeing the title of the book, Lincoln knew immediately that he would not enjoy this particular talk; instantly regretting his decision to agree to it.
"Uh-oh." Lincoln said.
"So, then, let's talk to you about sex. It all starts in your brain." Lynn Sr. said.
SEVERAL PAINFUL HOURS LATER
As he concluded his lesson on human sexuality to his son, a talk that he had been waiting a good 12 years to go over, Lynn Sr. closed the book, feeling proud and triumphant that he had accomplished his task.
"...and that's where you and all 10 of your sisters came from! Well, good night, Lincoln, have a great sleep!" Lynn Sr. cheered.
While Lynn Sr. held a strong sense of pride in his lesson, Lincoln did not share any positive sentiments towards the matter at all. Wearing a deathly expression upon his face and having his skin turn the whitest pale, not only was he completely disgusted by his father's in-depth and intense attention to detail with both his own lesson and the book, but he finally understood what kind of torture he was put through with his own sisters in The Guy's illusions.
And his reaction is about as good as he can get.
"It's true... God is dead..." Lincoln said.
Now, the rest and the peace that he sought after is nowhere to be found, with only nightmares and horrors left to settle in his mind for a long time to come.
Somewhere, within alternate universes, a blue hedgehog, a purple alicorn, an animatronic bear all share a collective laugh, calling him an amateur.
Elsewhere, within the hideout of the supervillains, Icebreaker makes his own way back to his base, narrowly escaping from Ace Savvy from their battle. Not expecting the boy to be as promising in a fight as he was, Icebreaker voices his complaints towards the others, mostly directing his distaste towards Nailbomb.
"What the hell, Nailbomb?! You told me this was a kid and some kind of amateur. You even said that his power was redirecting energy, which cold temperatures, I.E., my powers, should put a stop to. You even took him down yourself, even though your bombs wouldn't work on him. Explain to me, how the hell did he nearly knock me out?!" Icebreaker shouted.
"Beats me, Icy. If the kid's really as lame as I said, then he really should've been easy to beat. Maybe it's you getting weak on us. I mean, you've got ice powers, that's easily one of the top-tier powers, so how is it somebody with that kind of power loses so easily?" Nailbomb asked.
"You wanna run that by me again, mad bomber?"
"What's the matter? Was the first time not monosyllabic enough for you? Would you like it in crayon instead? You lost to him, it's on you, got it?"
"You little-!"
"ENOUGH!" The head supervillain shouted.
Nailbomb and Icebreaker, not wanting to upset their team leader, both backed down from his shout, ending their fight in an instant.
"We've waiting over a year for this plan to come into effect. Do you really want to ruin it all from a stupid little infight?" The head supervillain asked.
"No." Icebreaker said.
"Uh-uh." Nailbomb said.
"I didn't think so. Now, if you two would focus on fighting that card-tossing kid rather than each other and actually make him lose enough fights, we could actually get on with the plan a little smoother." The head supervillain said.
"But I did, and this kid still kicked my ass." Icebreaker said.
"Maybe, but his loss against Nailbomb's still taking its toll on his popularity. So far, all the reports on your supermarket fight are lukewarm at best; most of the attention he's been getting has been reporting on damage to the market rather than actually saving any lives."
"So, what? This is still a win?"
"Yes, but there's no call for celebrating yet. With one more loss under his belt, we could crush his public opinion, then we begin part 2 of the plan. For now, you and Nailbomb both stay put. Now, it's someone else's turn."
"Oh, yeah? Who's next on the roster?"
"Well, part of why he might have won against you is because we've strategized on how to counter his power. Energy is heat, and heat is opposite to cold. But maybe that wasn't the right approach. Instead of trying to run opposite to his power, we'll run sideways to it; work off a spectrum that he doesn't work on."
"And who's able to fight like that?"
"Easy. Next, we'll send in... Decibel."