"If he didn't die, you would. He did it to save you." Arthur can't remember how many times he's repeated the words, a mantra to himself now, no longer aimed at Alfred. Alfred doesn't know how many times he's heard those words meaningless and empty. Arthur's words are not shooting to Alfred. He never wanted to be saved.
Alfred still hold's Matthew's hand in his own, his forehead tipped to touch the pale lifeless one. To him it feels like only seconds have passed. It's been hours. Matthew's hand are cold and stiff. Alfred feels just as stiff. He doesn't want to live in a world without Mathew.
" He did it to save you." Arthur's words register with Alfred for the first time as he comes to a realization, and Alfred is reaching around Mathew, hands closing around the glass weapon. Arthur is in shock, though he doesn't realize it, teeth chattering, his hands long since fallen from Alfred's back.
He doesn't see Alfred's movements. Arthur doesn't see anything that is happening. "If he didn't die, you would."
Alfred is accepying something he knows Mathew wouldn't like if he was here. But Mathew isn't there, not really. Alfred responds to Arthur's chant, speaking for the first time. "But there's something you don't understand."
Arthur is slow to realize, the words not registering in his brain. Alfred notices that Matthew's lips have a slight upturn to them, as though he knows Alfred is still with him. Alfred knows that he will not leave Mathew. He doesn't take his eyes off Mathew.
"We're the same." He tells Arthur, and Arthur tries to register the words. His brother needs his attention, and he is determined to give it. Still, Arthur's brain moves slugishly.
"I am him." Alfred continues. "He is me." A feeling of fear dawns on Arthur and he begins to understand. He turns to Alfred, reaching for him. Alfred dodges the grasp.
Arthur sees the glass.
There's a beat, a millisecond of panic for Arthur, à moment of clarity for Alfred.
"I can't live without him."
"Alfred no!"
The glass flashes again, and for the second time, is stained with red. Alfred is bleeding from the neck, choking, gurgling. There's a siren in the distance. Arthur tries to stem the flow. His hands feel like carved stone, and he can't feel the warmth of the red river he tries to block. Arthur can't stop it.
Alfred blacks out.