"Tigerstar?" Sandstorm called. She was standing outside his den. Darkstripe had informed her moments ago that Tigerstar was calling for her, though she had no idea what he wanted. "It's Sandstorm."
"Sandstorm!" Tigerstar's deep voice boomed out in return. "Come in."
Sandstorm padded inside the small den, stepping through the mossy tendrils that hung from the edge of the Highrock. Tigerstar was seated inside, an uneaten mouse at his paws. "Good morning," Tigerstar meowed.
Sandstorm bowed her head respectfully. "Good morning, sir." She felt a twinge of anxiety stirring up in her. What's this about? It was only yesterday that Bluefur had introduced Sandstorm to her little group. Did Tigerstar already know? Her belly churned as she remembered his secret meeting in the woods. I have no idea how dangerous he is.
"I called you in to let you know today will be Snowkit's apprenticeship ceremony," Tigerstar meowed. "I would still like for you to mentor him, if you're still willing."
Sandstorm's ears pricked and her eyes widened. Snowkit—I completely forgot! She felt a rush of excitement at the news. "Of course I am!" she quickly replied. "Thank you, Tigerstar. I won't let you down." For a moment, all of her fears were forgotten.
Tigerstar chuckled. "I'm sure you won't." He frowned. "But it will not be simple. I sent Mottlepelt and Addertail yesterday to speak with Ferretstar about borrowing one of his elders to help teach ThunderClan pawspeak." His tail twitched. "After we helped them, he was happy enough to agree. Crowfur should be arriving soon. When he does, I'll begin the ceremony."
"Crowfur?" Sandstorm frowned. I don't know of him.
Tigerstar nodded. "So for the first while, at least, he will be present for your training with Snowpaw. He will stay with the elders and teach them signs as well, so they can help pass it on to the rest of the Clan." His voice grew stern. "I expect you to work with him well."
"Of course," Sandstorm replied. A nagging thought popped into her mind. I'm not a fan of the idea of having another cat training my apprentice, but… I am part WindClan, according to my grandmother. "I have to admit, as glad as I am that you are, I'm surprised you're going through this trouble for Snowkit."
Tigerstar was quiet for a moment. He studied her carefully with his amber gaze. "Have you seen Snowkit?" he asked. "The young tom will grow into a formidable ThunderClan warrior with proper training. Besides…" He smiled. "I see potential in you, Sandstorm, so I will give you advice. Win favor with the queens whenever possible. Though sometimes it may seem to be a great deal of effort… their support will always pay off."
Though it seemed he offered the advice genuinely, it made Sandstorm unsettled all over again. Is that what this is really about? She wondered. Keeping the queens happy? Sandstorm swallowed. "I see."
"That will be all," Tigerstar meowed. "I'll see you at the ceremony."
Sandstorm bowed her head and backed out of the den. Her heart was still racing. I was sure he knew about Fireheart again… She gritted her teeth. Sandstorm took in a deep breath. How long have I been living my life like this? I can't remember when speaking to Tigerstar—or any cat—alone didn't make me worry.
Crowfur arrived not long after Sandstorm's meeting with Tigerstar. A young WindClan warrior accompanied him, but his companion quickly left after a short talk with Bluefur near the edge of camp. Shortly after they arrived, Tigerstar called the Clan together.
"All cats old enough the catch prey gather beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!"
Despite all the stress and worry Sandstorm had been feeling earlier, she felt a rush of excitement as she padded towards the Highrock. She made sure to sit close to the front, ready for Snowkit's appearance. This is it! An apprentice of my own! Her heart thumped rapidly, and for once, it felt good.
The Clan gathered quickly. Excited chatter spread among the cats—clearly, it was no secret that an apprenticeship ceremony was taking place. A gap was left in the crowd, wide enough for a cat to walk down, leading straight to the Highrock.
After everything that happened, it's great to be naming a new apprentice, Sandstorm thought, smiling. Even with her misgivings towards Tigerstar, she agreed it was the right thing to do.
Sandstorm glanced over her shoulder to look at the nursery. Just outside the opening, Speckletail was quickly grooming Snowkit's fur into place. He gazed towards the gathered Clan with wide blue eyes. Speckletail stepped back and touched a paw to Snowkit's chest, as though telling him to wait.
"The time has come to name another apprentice," Tigerstar meowed. He wrapped his massive tail around his paws. "Snowkit, please come forward."
Speckletail nodded towards the Highrock. Snowkit glanced uncertainly at his mother, but when she gave an encouraging nod, he grinned and bounded forward. The young tom padded down the path towards the rock.
Tigerstar looked down upon him. "Snowkit has reached the age of six moons and is ready to become an apprentice. Until he receives his warrior name, he shall be known as Snowpaw." Tigerstar's gaze fell upon Sandstorm, and she briefly stiffened. "Sandstorm will mentor Snowpaw. You have proven yourself to be a capable warrior, and I trust you to pass on all your skills and courage to him."
Courage. The word struck at Sandstorm briefly. I haven't felt courageous in… I don't know. A long time. She swallowed, trying to push back her self doubt. Sandstorm turned to face Snowpaw and padded slowly to him. He noticed her approach and glanced at her curiously. How much of this does he understand? She wondered. I don't know how much signing Speckletail has taught him—and I don't know any myself.
Snowpaw blinked up at her. He was a big kit for his age—that would serve him well as a warrior. Sandstorm smiled at him, and he grinned back. I can do this. She leaned forward and touched her nose to his. Though she still wasn't sure if he knew what it signified, he purred and didn't pull away.
"Snowpaw! Snowpaw!" Cats began to cheer.
Before they could take up much of a cry, Tigerstar waved his tail, indicating he had more to say. "Of course this will not be a usual apprenticeship, as ThunderClan has not used signs in some time," he meowed. "That is why I asked WindClan to send Crowfur to help us relearn the language." He dipped his chin towards the elder, who sat near the Highrock as well. He was a very skinny gray tom, with taller ears than Sandstorm had ever seen on a cat before. Crowfur nodded silently.
Tigerstar went on. "I want him to be treated as a welcome guest. Do not give him any trouble and provide for him as though he were an elder of ThunderClan."
Bluefur lifted her voice. "I've already seen to it that the apprentices made you a comfortable nest in our elders' den," she meowed.
"Thank you," Crowfur rasped.
"That will be all," Tigerstar meowed.
"Wait!" Mousefur called. The brown warrior was squinting up at the Highrock. "I have a question."
"About Snowpaw's training?" Tigerstar blinked, clearly surprised to have been questioned so openly.
"No, not that," Mousefur retorted. She sat straight up. "I want to know when we're going to take back Sunningrocks!"
Sandstorm's eyes widened. Sunningrocks? Why would you worry about that now of all times?
Whispers began to stir. A few more cats called out.
"We're strong enough!" Dustpelt growled. "RiverClan's leader just died and their Clan is weak."
"Yeah!" Darkstripe hissed. "The flood will have softened them. They can't defend themselves against us!"
"Silence!" Tigerstar snapped. The whispering died back in a heartbeat. His gaze swept the Clan. "Though I can understand your eagerness, it is hardly appropriate to speak of such things in front of a guest!" He bared his teeth in Mousefur's direction, and to her credit, she didn't flinch.
"I thought it would only be natural," Mousefur meowed. "We have yet another apprentice, and we are growing stronger. The snow is already coming back after the thaw—we need more land for fresh-kill."
"You are short-sighted, however brave you might be," Tigerstar growled. "I do not intend to lead as Thistlestar did—leaping into battle at every opportunity for a chance of more territory. There are other ways." He leaned back and smoothed his fur. "I have no intention of taking advantage of RiverClan's misfortune in this way." Tigerstar's eyes glinted in the sunlight. "I believe that we can reach a more mutually beneficial understanding with RiverClan, come time."
"What does that mean?" Smallear grumbled.
Tigerstar's whiskers twitched. "Leopardstar and I are both interested in finding peace and allyship between our two Clans. I plan to personally visit RiverClan in a few days to speak with her more formally."
"Allyship?" Mosstail muttered, their voice dubious.
"So no," Tigerstar meowed. "I have no plans to take Sunningrocks by force, given that our talks go well." He lashed his tail once. "This meeting is over." He leaped down from the Highrock, making it clear he would entertain no further discussion.
Sandstorm felt herself bristling nervously. Is this the start of this plan of his? She wondered. To join the Clans together under his rule? Her claws sank nervously into the ground. She shook her head. I need to focus on Snowpaw. She looked down at her newly-named apprentice. Snowpaw tilted his head curiously and lifted a paw. He shifted it to the side before jerking it towards Sandstorm.
Is he trying to say something to me? Sandstorm felt her throat tighten anxiously. I… I don't know how to respond.
"He's asking if you're okay," Crowfur's voice came from beside her, and Sandstorm jolted. She glanced at the elder. Crowfur was looking at Snowpaw as he spoke to her. "He can tell you're uncomfortable."
Mouse-brain! Sandstorm chided herself. She nodded at Snowpaw and smiled. Snowpaw straightened up a little. He tilted his head sidewise again, looking almost doubtful. Sandstorm looked at Crowfur again. "I… have to be honest, I really don't know how to talk to him," she told him.
Crowfur snorted. "Well, for starters, don't talk about him like he isn't there. He's deaf, not hare-brained." The elder's tail twitched. "Second, we should get out of this busy-body camp." He began to step towards the camp exit before he paused and looked over his shoulder. "You can signal for someone to follow you by extending your tail and curling it in towards yourself." He continued on towards the exit.
Sandstorm took a step forward and looked over her shoulder at Snowpaw. She straightened her tail before curling to her side. "Follow me," she meowed.
Snowpaw smiled as though the sign excited him. He was quick to follow in her footsteps as she padded towards the gorse tunnel.
Sandstorm felt encouraged by his enthusiasm. Okay, I can do this. He wants to come with me, I just need to know how to talk to him. She had nearly led him to the gorse tunnel when she was sharply intercepted by Speckletail.
The queen looked anxious. She narrowed her eyes at Sandstorm. "I should come with you," she meowed. "He's not used to communicating with other cats."
Crowfur turned around to face the queen. He and Sandstorm watched as Snowpaw immediately bounded to his mother's side and batted at her tail playfully. Sandstorm frowned. As much as it would be useful to have her to communicate… that's what Crowfur is for. Snowpaw let out a happy chirp as Speckletail's tail flicked above his head. And she'll be a distraction.
"Are you the lad's mother?" Crowfur rasped. At Speckletail's nod, he frowned. "No, I don't think you need to come along. I can sign to Snowpaw just fine."
Speckletail curled her tail around Snowpaw protectively. "He doesn't know you. He—"
"—Will be perfectly fine," Crowfur interrupted. The elder's tail flicked. "He is an apprentice now, not a kit."
Sandstorm could see Speckletail was growing agitated, so she quickly cut in. "I appreciate your offer, Speckletail, but we'll be okay. Crowfur knows more about signing than either of us."
Speckletail looked down at her son. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "This is embarrassing. I was never like this with Lionheart. I just worry about him." She stepped back. Snowpaw's gaze followed her.
Crowfur reached out and tapped Snowpaw's white paw with his own, before he signaled for Snowpaw to follow him again. Snowpaw glanced back at his mother once before he nodded and followed Crowfur to the gorse tunnel.
Sandstorm padded along behind Snowpaw. Thank StarClan she backed off, she thought. Two cats with one apprentice is already enough.
They padded up the ravine and headed into the forest. Snowpaw walked between Crowfur and Sandstorm. His eyes were wide with wonder as he looked around. He beamed from ear to ear, looking up at the tops of leafless trees.
Crowfur glanced at Sandstorm. "Talk to him like you would any other apprentice," he rasped. "I will sign for him."
"Okay," Sandstorm meowed. She looked down at Snowpaw. "This is ThunderClan territory," she meowed. "I'm going to show it all to you."
As she spoke, Crowfur paused and signed to Snowpaw. Sandstorm watched Crowfur. The elder shifted his ears, paws, and tail as he translated to Snowpaw.
It really is a whole other language, Sandstorm thought. The flicks and twitches seemed only subtly different. How am I going to pick it up?
"Let's keep going," Crowfur meowed.
They went on, pausing every so often to point out a particular landmark or hunting spot. Snowpaw never seemed to lose his enthusiasm for the trip, taking in everything with wide, eager eyes.
Crowfur would pause after interpreting to point out a certain sign to Sandstorm. As they stopped at the Owl Tree, Crowfur shared the name with her after signing to Snowpaw. He straightened his tail up for 'tree' and rounded his eyes. Snowpaw nodded eagerly and jabbed a paw at the large oak, as though emphasizing that was what the sign meant.
Sandstorm smiled at him. He wants to teach me, too, she realized. She nodded at Snowpaw before repeating the sign back to him.
He kneaded his paws happily, clearly pleased she understood. Sandstorm chuckled softly. He's very sweet, she thought. "Come on, let's keep going."
She led them a little further from the Owl Tree when she caught a warm scent. Sandstorm paused and sniffed the air. Mouse. She glanced at Snowpaw. I wasn't planning on hunting with him yet… but maybe this is a good opportunity. She reached out and gently tapped Snowpaw's paw with her own to get his attention. He looked up at her attentively, and she pointedly closed her eyes and sniffed the air. Snowpaw copied her behavior before his eyes popped open wide.
Sandstorm's gaze swept the forest ahead until she spotted the mouse. It was crouched not far ahead, nibbling on something. It sat atop a small mound of snow, back turned to the cats. Sandstorm dropped into a crouch, touching her tail to Snowpaw's side. Do what I do.
To Sandstorm's joy, Snowpaw quickly crouched down. She studied his form. His paws are out too far. She reached out and gently nudged one of his forepaws towards his center. Snowpaw blinked and shifted his paws so they were closer together. He glanced at her inquisitively.
Much better. Sandstorm smiled and nodded her approval, and he smiled in return. Sandstorm jerked her chin towards the mouse.
Snowpaw must have understood her meaning, for he lowered his head and began to creep forward. The mouse was now washing its face, still turned away from the approaching apprentice. Sandstorm hung back and watched. Crowfur sat down, eyeing Snowpaw with interest.
Snowpaw crept towards the mouse, his paws making little noise in the thin layer of soft snow. His white pelt blended in easily. Sandstorm's whiskers twitched. With a little practice, he'll have no trouble hunting in the winter.
Snowpaw stiffened as the mouse's ears swiveled around. It looked towards him and let out a sharp squeak. As it leaped from the snowbank, Snowpaw let out a mrrow and pounced towards it. He flew through the air towards the mouse as it tried to escape. He landed just short of it, but flicked out a paw and managed to give it a hard smack. The mouse squealed as it tumbled. Snowpaw whirled quickly on his paws and pounced again—this time trapping the mouse beneath his claws. Snowpaw bit down quickly, dispatching the small creature.
Sandstorm straightened up with excitement, warm pride flooding her. "That was great!" she purred.
"Impressive," Crowfur chuckled. "A little sloppy, but that's to be expected of an apprentice's first catch."
Sandstorm hadn't expected to feel so overjoyed by her apprentice's success. She wanted to knead her paws like a young apprentice herself. She beamed as Snowpaw trotted towards her, the mouse dangling from his jaws. Although Sandstorm wasn't sure how to sign to him he had done well, he could clearly tell from her reaction that she was happy. Snowpaw dropped the mouse and grinned, his tail flicking back and forth with excitement.
I showed him the crouch and he got it just right, Sandstorm thought. She couldn't stop smiling. It felt good to be this happy about something without having to look over her shoulder. She wouldn't have to hide her progress with Snowpaw from her Clanmates like she did her relationship with Fireheart. The thought was jarring, and it made her stiffen. As Crowfur and Snowpaw started to continue walking ahead, Sandstorm hung back a moment.
Can I ever be truly happy with Fireheart? Her smile fell. I feel like I can tell him anything… and he's so nice to me. But I'll never be able to tell anyone he's the father of… She still couldn't quite bear to admit to herself she was pregnant. Every time Tigerstar looks at me I'm afraid he knows. I don't want to find out what will happen if he realizes what's happening between us… Sandstorm closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Am I really happy with Fireheart if being together makes me feel this way?
A gentle tap on her paw made her eyes open. Snowpaw stood in front of her, his eyes dark with concern. He made the same sign he had made earlier: Are you okay?
Sandstorm blinked and forced herself to smile. She nodded, then began to pad forward, beckoning for Snowpaw to follow. She felt hot tears burning in her eyes, and blinked them away as they walked.
Sandstorm knew what she had to do.
Fireheart's tail twitched impatiently as he waited for his Clanmates to fall asleep. The Warriors' Den had finally been finished. Fireheart's nest was close to his friends'. Beechflower and Silverstream slept closer to the senior warriors, having been promoted a few moons ahead of the youngest warriors, but were still on the outskirts. Grasspelt, Minktuft, Shadefang, and Mossfrost were along the edge like Fireheart. Silverthorn lay a couple fox-lengths away from Fireheart, near Mossfrost, but he was the closest to the wall of the den. Fireheart noted with fond amusement that Minktuft and Shadefang had their backs pressed together as they slept. So that's why Minktuft has always been dysfunctional around Shadefang.
Fireheart could tell from the sounds of breathing that cats were asleep. If anyone was awake, he would just tell them he was going to make dirt. He rose carefully from his nest, and tread around the edges of the den, careful not to disturb any tails.
As he passed Silverthorn, the tom's head lifted, his eyes clear. "So you're just going to keep seeing her, aren't you?" His voice was edged with annoyance.
Fireheart nearly jumped out of his pelt. "Shh!" he hissed. "Of course I am," he whispered. "You can't stop me, Silverthorn." He scowled at the tabby warrior. They'd hardly spoken on the return trip from the town yesterday. Silverthorn had made his disapproval of Fireheart's relationship perfectly clear. I almost thought we might be able to start being friendly, Fireheart thought. Almost.
Silverthorn scoffed and laid his head on his paws. "Minnow-brain," he grunted. But he made no other movement to stop Fireheart, and thankfully, didn't seem interested in rousing anyone else to tattle.
Fireheart rolled his eyes and continued on his way. No one else disturbed him as he left the den. He shivered in the cold air outside and looked up. Fresh snowflakes were falling. Fireheart fluffed out his pelt and headed out of camp. Will it ever stop being winter? He wondered. I can't stand the cold.
Fireheart crossed the river on the Stepping Stones, not eager to swim in the freezing water. Patches of ice were reforming on the surface. It might freeze over entirely, Fireheart thought. He made it to the other side with no trouble and headed downstream towards the willow where he would meet Sandstorm.
Fireheart scanned the roots of the tree, but found no sign of Sandstorm. He settled down beneath the tree to wait.
Fireheart wasn't sure how long he had waited, but it felt like seasons before he saw the dry brambles on the edge of the woods stir. Sandstorm padded out from the woods slowly. Fireheart leaped to his paws as he spotted her. "There you are!" he purred. "I was wondering if you were going to come tonight." He bounded towards her so that he could touch his muzzle to her cheek.
Sandstorm flinched away from the contact. Her eyes avoided his.
Fireheart pulled away and frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked. He started to feel nervous. Did I do something wrong? He recalled how afraid she had been when Silverthorn had discovered them a few nights ago. "I swear, Silverthorn hasn't told anyone about us. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't care enough to do something about it."
Sandstorm shut her eyes tight. "Fireheart." Her voice was dry. "I'm not going to come and see you anymore."
A shock went through Fireheart, and he took a step back. His mind began to swirl with confusion. "I don't understand," he meowed. "I thought you liked spending time with me. I really like seeing you, Sandstorm, I—what happened?"
Sandstorm straightened up. Her expression betrayed no emotion. "It's over. I don't want to see you anymore."
"Sandstorm!" Fireheart meowed. He felt his chest clench. I don't understand! "Just talk to me! Tell me what's wrong!" Don't leave me!
Sandstorm took a breath. "We're what's wrong," she flatly replied. "We should have never started meeting like this. I can't do it anymore. We're done."
Fireheart's throat felt impossibly tight as Sandstorm started to back away. His legs started to tremble. He needed to make her stop, to think it over, to change her mind—he needed to be with her—but the right words were failing him. "Sandstorm, please," he choked out. "I—I love you."
He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Sandstorm flinch. It took her a moment before she replied, "You hardly even know me." She turned away and padded back into the forest.
"Sandstorm!" Fireheart cried out. He was frozen in place, his heart clawed to pieces, but he desperately wanted to run after her. "I do know you! Sandstorm!"
She never turned back.
Fireheart plodded back into the Warriors' Den, feeling numb and shattered all at the same time. He fell into his nest, burying his face into the moss. Fireheart gripped his face in his paws, trying not to let out an audible sob. He repeated the same question he had been asking all the way home: Why? Why why why why…
"You're back early," Silverthorn grunted. Fireheart dully wondered if he had woken the tom up on his way back, or if he had been awake the entire time. He didn't care.
"It's over," he whispered. "She doesn't want to be with me."
"Oh." Silverthorn was quiet for a few heartbeats. "I… sorry." For once, there was no note of antagonism in his voice.
Fireheart flattened his ears as tears spilled out onto his paws. "Just leave me alone." He lay there quietly in his nest, shaking and grieving, until sleep finally caught up to him.
Reviews:
Riley-Cooper: Princess is white partially to help her look like Cloudtail and because I always pictured her as white in my head!
raindropp14: Thank you so much, that all means a lot! I will say Blazing isn't going to be continued (it's been redone into this story!), but Po3 is still near and dear to my heart and I hope to pick it back up after I finish the first arc of Fire and Water.
Arsynis: I really love to see people who enjoy Silverthorn - ever since I started the series in its very first version, I never expected to become quite so attached to him! He has a lot of developing and growing to do as a person and I feel like him starting off so unlikeable gives him even more of a chance to develop and improve.
Sylvage: I use my own variant of the "traditional naming system" invented by ailuronymy. My version has more suffixes and a little room for creative flexibility of leaders (-thorn in Silverthorn's name isn't considered 'traditional', but Crookedstar decided to go for a little flair because he had far too many -claw cats, in his opinion). You can check my blog for more info!
SedatedDreams: I feel the same way! It's one of those things that everyone is publicly ashamed of/looks down on but is actually fairly common. It's pretty much exactly like you say in this world - no one's going to nitpick too hard if a kit looks sort of off (cats learned their lesson after the Mapleshade affair), but if someone is prancing around boasting about how they're dating so-and-so from an enemy Clan, that's another story.
Kaktus Kaktus: I didn't want to reply to your comment about the confusing nature of Sandstorm and Fireheart's relationship too soon, but you're right - it was confusing. The line between friends and "something else" got pretty blurred for them pretty fast, and for Fireheart especially, he's been feeling some puppy love. Although I don't think all forbidden love needs to be doomed to fail, theirs wasn't meant to last.
KatieK101: RiverClan is a little less... uptight about the warrior code compared to ThunderClan (they still care about it, they just aren't reciting it to their newborn kits), so while Fireheart generally gets it some of the less commonly discussed rules don't catch his attention. He was also promoted a bit early, so he didn't get all that learning in!
Thank you to everyone else who reviewed! Remember, you can always find me at warriorsfireandwater on tumblr if you ever want to send questions or talk about the story!