"A New Light"

"I'm home," I called, slipping off my shoes.

I had just gotten home from class after a long day of listening to teachers talk all day about god-knows what. I was never one to not pay attention in class, but these classes all seemed to drag on.

I walked to my room and dropped my bag down before noticing how quiet it was in the house. Was mother sleeping?

I headed to her room to check in on her, only to see Sakura in her room, playing cards with her on the bed, sitting crisscross from her.

My cheeks warmed, seeing her grin at my mother at something she had said. They had not even noticed me standing here, watching them interact with each other.

I still had not become used to the idea of Sakura being here, because something was off. Sakura never just showed up to Hong Kong for fun. And deciding to do her classes here online?

Something was definitely off, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. They were planning something, and they wouldn't let me in on it. I was never one to be nosy, but they didn't give me much of a choice here.

I cleared my throat to get their attention, which they turned to me immediately. My cheeks warmed, feeling Sakura's eyes on me.

"When did you get here?" Mother asked, raising a brow at me.

I shrugged, walking further in the room to plant a kiss on her forehead. "I just got in. I figured you guys didn't hear me," I said, smiling at her softly. "Hey," I nodded towards Sakura to acknowledge her.

She nodded towards me, letting her eyes shift back to my mother. She still didn't seem quite used to me being here even though this is my house.

"How was classes, dear?" mother asked, patting the bed beside her.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, nodding my head in approval. "It was okay. Just…boring and the same old same old."

"Oh, that's just education. Jun tells me you guys are planning to go out tonight," she said, making my brows scrunch together.

I wanted to roll my eyes at the mention of the guy but decided against it. Jun would never do anything like that to me. I had already warned him off...hopefully. "We are?" I asked.

"That's what he tells me," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

I frowned, shaking my head. "I didn't know anything about that, so I'm not going anywhere. Besides, I have to make sure you're good," I said.

It was her turn to frown now. "Xiao Lang, you know I don't like for you to do that when you have other things to do."

"I don't have anything to do. Jun didn't mention anything about this to me, so no…I don't have anything to do. Ma, you can't convince me to do this. I'm staying here with you," I said in a finalizing tone.

"But—"

"It's okay. Me and Jun can just go," Sakura interrupted, making me look at her.

"What?" I said, shaking my head slowly. They were not going out together without me.

"I... Jun had given me the impression that you'd known all along, but...I guess not," Sakura said. "I could still go out with him though. He said that you guys would be getting together with some old friends or something."

I sighed. "What is the meaning of this, Ma?"

She shrugged, shaking her head. "Don't point any fingers at me."

I sighed again. "Okay, fine. I'll go, but we're coming back early," I said, giving in to whatever Jun had planned.

They were making my life this much more complicated.

Sakura laughed at something Meilin said about me.

I didn't find what she said funny at all. I was just relieved that she had found a boyfriend and wasn't all over me anymore.

Jun wanted us to go to a friend's place we used to go to when we were little. I had not heard from him since I left Hong Kong back in middle school. I couldn't think of the sudden need Jun had to want to see him.

He had invited our other friends we used to hang out with too.

Jun was acting just as weird as Sakura and mother had been. I couldn't figure out what they had been trying to get at.

"You're so quiet, Syaoran. What's your problem?" Jun asked, nudging me on the couch.

We had been sitting around eating junk and playing card games all night.

They had taken out the drinks, but I decided not to drink anything. I had to get home to mother soon.

Sakura had not bothered to drink anything as well, but she had been seeming to get along with everyone just fine.

I was glad she was having a good time with everyone. Jun wasn't doing any sketchy stuff, so I didn't feel the need to worry about him anymore.

I don't know how I would feel seeing her with anyone else.

"Come on, Syaoran, just take a sip. You didn't used to refuse," Tai said, holding the bottle of alcohol towards me.

I shook my head. "I'm good, really. Besides, I have to drive us back home."

Tai chuckled, shaking his head. "How's your mom doing?"

I shrugged. "I can't tell these days, honestly. She seems really neutral about everything," I explained.

"Well, I'd say that's a good thing. She's not puking out her insides," he said.

"I suppose so," I said shortly.

"What's with you, man? You're acting weird and off. Isn't Sakura the girl you were in love with back then?" he asked quietly so no one would hear us.

"That's over with. And I don't want to talk about it either," I said.

Thankfully, Tai took the hint and dropped it, asking about my classes instead.

The rest of the night went on like normal, which I started to come around a bit slowly.

We played more card games and they pulled out the old video games we used to play when we were younger.

I actually found myself enjoying the little get together.

It felt a little nice getting my mind off things and just enjoying the moment. I had not done that in a long time.

And, I had Sakura here to enjoy it with. She didn't make it a point to ignore me tonight, which felt a little relieving.

Meilin had even made things a lot better for me.

It had felt like forever where I could enjoy...company. I didn't feel that pressure on my chest anymore. It felt like nothing else mattered but this moment.

And for some reason, I couldn't help but feel that was the reason I was forced to come here tonight.

"Come on, Syaoran, don't be a prude. Just play one round with us and if you win, you won't have to worry about the loser's punishment. Come on... one round," Tai said, giving me a pleading look.

I knew it was coming eventually after they turned the video games off. We could never get together and not drink, despite me telling him that I wouldn't drink tonight. They were trying to play "never have I ever" as a drinking game that was surely to end in disaster. I had heard them explaining the rules a few minutes ago but had already decided that I did not want to partake in it.

"I'm not one to peer pressure, but...you should, Syaoran. Have a little fun," I heard her say.

I looked in her direction, seeing an encouraging smile on her lips. I let out a sigh; a small smile forming on my lips. "Fine...one round...and I better not lose either," I said, standing from the couch so I could get on the floor in their circle beside Sakura.

"Okay, we all understand the rules, right? If you've never done that thing, you have to take a shot, but you're safe if you have," Meilin explained again.

We all agreed that we understood before she continued, "So...who starts first...?" Meilin asked, looking around at everyone.

"How about we let our boy Syaoran start us off with one truth," Jun said, making me slightly annoyed before I brushed it to the side.

Jun was not an enemy right now. I was my own enemy.

"Alright...I've...never used a fake ID to get into a club before," I said.

I looked around to see everyone looking pleased with that question and unmoving before I saw Sakura let out an exasperated sigh. "Just give it to me," she said before glaring at me playfully.

"Are you serious, Kinomoto?" Meilin said, looking as equally surprised as everyone else.

"What's that supposed to mean? I don't do illegal things that could easily get me in trouble aside from drinking," Sakura said before taking the shot.

Her face scrunched in disgust, making everyone laugh at her reaction.

"Oh, we can tell you don't do this often either," Tai said teasingly, making her blush.

I smiled a little, nudging her to get her attention. "You can get me back on the next one," I whispered to her.

She smiled at me slyly. "I already know how I can."

I chuckled at her response before Tai cleared his throat beside me. "My turn..." he said, looking very thoughtful for a moment. "Never have I ever tried drugs before."

Sakura was the first to groan, already pouring herself a shot of the Hennessy. "Can't we keep this game rated pg?" she said before taking the shot.

Everyone laughed at her response before another one of Tai's friends picked up the glass of Hennessy to pour himself a shot too.

Everyone looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

"What? I've just never gotten around to it yet," he said sarcastically.

"Trust me, you don't want to," I said, warning the guy off.

"For once, I'll have to agree with Syaoran," Jun said, looking at me pointedly.

Everyone laughed at that response before Yuu took the shot.

"Good thing it's my turn then," Yuu said excitedly. "Uhhh…I've always been honest on every test I've taken," he said.

Everyone, but Sakura, groaned before glaring at him.

"You can't ask questions like that, cheater," Meilin said, pouring everyone, but Sakura, a shot.

"There's no way you have never cheated on a test before," Jun said, looking at Sakura suspiciously.

"I'm sorry that I study my ass off to pass test. I've copied my friend's homework before, but never on a test," she said.

I looked at her, believing every word coming from her mouth. That girl never had an ounce of crime in her bone.

Everyone took their shots, including me, as Sakura giggled in joy at our lost.

"Alright, it's my turn now then since Ms. Kinomoto wants to laugh," Meilin said, looking at Sakura challengingly.

"Oh, come on, Mei. I've already had two shots. You really don't want me out and on the floor now, do you?" Sakura said, giving her a pleading look.

The look made me give in for Meilin. "Yeah, Meilin, don't make her take more than she'll already have to take after you," I said teasingly.

"Nope! Never have I ever not wanted to be in a romantic relationship with a person more than 5 years older than me before," she said.

"You might as well pour me three shots on that one," Tai said, making everyone laugh.

Sakura smiled before rolling her eyes at her.

Who had she wanted to be with who was more than 5 years older than her before? I would definitely have to ask her about that later. I did not like the thought of that at all.

Meilin poured Sakura, Tai, and Jun a shot to take.

They took their shots with ease, making me realize Sakura was getting drunk. Plus, she was a lot looser and comfortable now too.

"My turn, right?" Jun questioned.

Everyone agreed, letting him know it was his turn.

"Never have I ever...taken care of a fake baby and act like parents for a project before," Jun said.

I glared at him, wondering who had given him that information. "That is so low. Are you trying to make us lose?" I said.

Jun chuckled, making everyone else laugh at his contagious laugh before Meilin poured me and Sakura a shot when Sakura mentioned her doing it. The conversation led into them asking questions about the project and the baby and how it worked before I decided to end it.

"Alright, it's Sakura's turn now," I said.

"Oh...hmm...never have I ever...stolen money from my parents and never come clean about it," she said.

"Give me about 10 shots to that," I said sarcastically, making everyone laugh and agree to it.

15 questions and 8 shots later nearly had me on the floor sleep by now.

I couldn't be more than happy that the game was over now, and they were trying to figure out who the two losers were in their drunken state.

Apparently, the two who had the most shots would have to get locked in the closet together for 20 minutes while sitting in a big bucket of ice-cold water. Where Tai came up with the idea? I didn't know and I certainly was not in the right state of mind to ask him that question.

"It's Syaoran and Kinomoto, man! I swear it is!" I heard someone yell out.

That snapped me out of my thoughts, making me look in their direction. I had not even noticed that they were arguing about who the losers were. Apparently, Sakura had been trying to convince them that it was me and Yuu, but everyone was against her and saying it was her and me and—

Wait a minute.

"I took..." I counted on my fingers, trying to remember the number I had said earlier as my thoughts all seemed to jumble into a mess of numbers. "...8 shots only," I said once I finally remembered.

"Yes, and Sakura took 10! We all had less than that," Meilin said.

"Nooooo," Sakura whined, falling back on the floor, hitting her head.

I came to her side immediately, making sure she had not hurt herself. "Are you okay?" I asked in a worried tone, bringing my hand to her face to make her look at me as she laid on the floor.

She looked at me before her cheeks colored and she sat up from the floor, looking at me shyly. "They're trying to trap us in a closet in a bucket of cold water," she whined, making me chuckle at how adorable she was acting right now.

"It'll be over sooner than we think it will," I promised, standing from sitting crisscross on the floor.

I stumbled a bit from sitting too long, making everyone in the living room laugh at me. I frowned, glaring at them before I looked at Tai. "Where's the room we have to go in that has the freaking..." my mind went blank, not sure what we were doing anymore.

Maybe I did have too much to drink after all. There was no way I would be able to drive us home tonight.

"Alright, come on, you two," Jun said, already pushing me through the house as my mind rushed through everything it passed.

I could hear Sakura whining and complaining about having to do this as Tai said something about it being okay.

Once we got to Tai's old room, I turned in the direction, realizing we were at his parents' house. "Where are your parents and brother?" I asked.

Tai laughed, shaking his head. "Are you just now noticing they aren't here? They went out of town for a mini vacation, but it was more like a business trip. My brother decided to tag along since it was the weekend," Tai explained.

Jun opened the closet door, revealing the huge bucket that probably could barely fit one person inside.

I frowned, wondering what they were trying to get at with this. "How did you even get this in here and why would you put this in here?" I asked.

Tai chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. "Friend gave it to me after a party we were at. They played a similar game so I thought it would be interesting to play it with my own group of friends. You two go ahead and step inside to let us know how it feels," he said.

I looked behind him, only to see everyone else behind him snickering and laughing, except Sakura, of course. I sighed before bending down to take my shoes off slowly.

"Are you really going to do it?" Sakura asked, standing directly in front of me now with a horrified look in her eyes.

As much as she despised us doing this, a part of me was kind of happy to do it since I'd be stuck in a closet with Sakura alone.

"Well...we agreed to it when we decided to play the game..." I said, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly, trying to hide the excitement.

She groaned before closing the closet door on their faces, leaving us alone. She had switched the light on, and then leaned down to take her shoes off. I watched her, trying not to get too excited or I'd be trying something else on her. I reached behind me, taking my shirt off.

"W-woah woah woah, what are you doing?" she asked in a panic tone.

I looked at her, only to see a blush on her face. "I don't want to get my clothes wet because we still have to go home tonight," I said, unbuckling my belt and pants.

"Stop!" she exclaimed, making me freeze mid taking my pants off.

"What?" I asked with scrunched brows.

"I-I can't take my clothes off in front of you, you pervert," she said, moving back to the corner as far away as possible from me.

I frowned. "Do you really think I'm still like that, Sakura?" I asked seriously.

She stared at me for a moment before she untensed and sighed. "You're right...just..."

"I won't look," I said, turning away from her direction.

I continued to unbuckle my pants, sliding them down to my ankles and stepping out of them. I was left in nothing but my boxers. I stepped one foot into the bucket, my breath hitching in my throat at the ice cold water hitting my skin.

"W-where are your pants?" she asked, making me look towards her, only to see a blush on her cheeks.

"Well...I told you I don't want them to get wet since we have to drive back home tonight," I said quietly, letting my eyes stray from her when I noticed her shirt taken off. I had been dreaming of this for years, but not in a setting where we weren't together.

"Mmm..." she let out. I could see her unbuckling her pants from the corner of my eyes before I quickly hopped all the way in the bucket, hissing at the cold water.

I sat down on one side of the bucket, holding my breath at the unpleasant feeling of the water. I sat still for a moment, closing my eyes to try and convince myself that the water wasn't that cold to me.

My eyes only opened when I felt the water shift and a sharp inhale of breath leave a voice across from me. I couldn't be more grateful for the cold water stopping everything from working down south when I saw her in nothing but her bra and unmatching panties. I didn't care one bit though.

"Hoeeee..." she said, making me look in her direction, studying every piece of her that I could.

Crap, I needed to stop before I did something I might regret.

Slowly, she sat down in the water, squealing as she rest between my parted legs on the opposite side of the bucket.

"The timer starts now!" We heard Tai scream from outside of the door, making me groan.

The timer should have already started since we closed the closet door.

Sakura took deep breath and then released them. "Okay, I'm calm," she said quietly.

I swallowed, eyes training on the swell of her breast. I couldn't help but want the red material to disappear.

Stop it, Syaoran.

"So..." I started, trying to distract my thoughts of her being half naked in front of me. All I had to do was reach out and I could touch her again; have her in my arms like I used to when she stayed with me back in Tomoeda.

"I talked with ma earlier today..." she started, making my eyes shift up to her beautiful green pair.

"What about?" I asked, staring at her seriously to keep my eyes focused on the conversation and not her body.

"She told me...about everything, you know? It made me realize how much...you've been through and how much you've changed," she said softly.

I stayed quiet, not sure what to say to her yet. I didn't want to ruin any chances by saying the wrong thing.

"I think about it sometimes...how if I had just...forgiven you immediately back in Tomoeda after you had confessed everything to me... what would have been the outcome? Would we have been together and going to the same college right now? Would we have been happy together? Sometimes...I wonder," she said, curling her legs up to her chest, making me shiver at the shift in the water.

"Honestly, I don't know. What I do know is that things are the way they are now is because they are meant to be. If you had said yes that you forgive me and want to be with me back in Tomeoda, you wouldn't have been here right now with mother. You wouldn't have discovered how to put yourself before a guy...I think we both made the right decision in what we've done so far with our…situation, so I don't wonder what it would have been like if you had forgiven me easily. I'm glad I experienced the pain of being rejected by the woman I love because I would've never gone to get help if you had just decided to forgive me easily. And as much hell as I've felt over these past months of not seeing or barely hearing from you, I deserved it all. But I know better now. I was giving you space to process everything; to figure out on your own what you wanted. And…though I want nothing more than to be with you, I can't wonder what things would be like because it would just be a reminder that I don't have that," I said quietly.

It was quiet for a moment, making me wonder if I had said the wrong thing. Did she want me to agree with her?

Hell, I want to be with her now, but surely I know that she made the right decision in telling me no and demanding space.

"You're right...I do know better and I feel a lot wiser than I did before too," she finally spoke.

I could feel a small smile tug at my lips. "I can't remember if I've said this since you've been here this time, but I want to say it one last time before I finally stop bringing it up." I looked her in the eyes seriously. "I'm sorry for all the wrongdoings that I've done to you. I don't know if you could ever forgive me for it, but I've finally started to forgive myself for it. After years of hating me and hiding the guilt behind my actions, I've finally forgiven myself and hope to—"

"I'm glad you've forgiven yourself, Syaoran. Because I've forgiven you too..." she said softly, making my heart skip a beat.

One step at a time... that was all it took to make this pain go away.

One step.

I reached forward, grabbing her hand gently between mine. "Thank you," I said, feeling my eyes water when her hands squeezed mine.

I reminded myself to thank Jun later for making me come here tonight.

The days were passing by so fast and in a blur. It was like everything was falling into place as it should.

Mother had seemed to be the same for the last two weeks. Her and Sakura spent most of their time together around the house.

She and Sakura had gone out a few times to the market to shop this week, which didn't seem so bad.

I still had my time with her, but not as much time with Sakura and her. It seemed like we were taking turns spending time with her.

After our incident of sleeping together two weeks ago, we didn't find any more moments like that, aside from the party at Jun's. We had decided to change the subject after she had told me that she forgave me. The conversation somehow ended with us talking about the past school year before the door of the closet opened, ending our moment.

After the party, there was this silent mutual agreement between us that said that we were fine with each other. We didn't have to verbally say it, but I could tell that there was no tension or hard feelings between us anymore. We were content with each other. We had even ended up staying the night at Tai's house, sleeping in the same bed, but on the opposite side.

After that, I didn't get to see much of Sakura at the house unless she was with my mom. I couldn't find any alone time with her, but it's not like I was trying to.

Likewise, Jun had been getting me to spend more time with him within the last week. We had been playing video games or going out with old friends like we had two weeks ago, except without Sakura with us.

It felt easier to go out with him, knowing he wasn't up to anything fishy anymore. He genuinely just wanted me to have a good time.

He had backed off of flirting with Sakura, to my relief, but he seemed to be opening up and talking to me about a lot more. He was one of the reasons I felt okay with acknowledging I had been acting so selfish when Sakura first got here.

I understood now that Sakura had been here for mother and nothing else. She wasn't here to give me another opportunity with her, so I shouldn't get in over my head.

She had already forgiven me, so I was happy with that one step. We had only had one solid conversation with each other within the last week.

And it was only about mother. Nothing personal or anything. I was okay with that if that's what she wanted.

I didn't bother to push anything more either. I wanted her stay to be as peaceful as possible. I didn't even know how long she'd be here...

At least mother was happy to have her here, so that made me happy.

My phone buzzed on my computer desk, interrupting my thoughts. I picked it up, seeing a text message from...Mingxia?

I sighed, swiping it across to read the text.

'Syaoran...'

I raised a brow, wondering what she wanted. We had not talked in months, which was because I'd ignored her calls and texts, so she took the hint and stopped.

I sat my phone down, deciding to ignore the text. Another text followed after that 5 minutes later though. I opened my phone, reading the text.

'If you don't talk to me, I'm going to be in big trouble. What did you tell your father about us?'

I raised a brow, wondering where this was going. I had not mentioned anything about Mingxia to father anymore in almost a month.

Matter of fact, I had barely seen father around since Sakura arrived. It's a wonder mother had not said anything to him about his absence. But then again, father was always missing in our household.

A call came a few minutes later, her contact information showing on my phone. I should've blocked her when I had the chance. Sighing, I decided to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Syaoran, you have to help me. Tell the judge that nothing went on between us," came the first thing when I picked up the phone.

I could hear her sniffling uncontrollably. She was crying.

"What?" I responded, leaning back in my chair. "What's going on?"

"Syaoran, I'm being put on trial for our relationship. You didn't receive it as me taking advantage of you, right? You don't think that I... raped you, right?" she asked between sobs. "Think about all the times I helped you and made you feel good. You enjoyed those times, right?"

I suddenly felt disgusted with that last statement, hearing the manipulation in her tone. She was trying to get me to stand in court for her and tell them that she never did anything I didn't want?

Granted, I didn't mind doing things after the first couple of times, but that first and second time, I sure as hell didn't feel comfortable with it.

"You're trying to get me to lie for you?" I asked quietly.

"No, no, no. Nothing like that. Just...twist the truth a bit," she said timidly through the phone.

"You want me to tell a judge that...you didn't coerce me into having sex with you when I was...11?" I asked slowly, not believing the statement out loud.

She was quiet on the phone, making me assume that's exactly what she wanted me to do.

I hung the phone up before she could even respond to that.

She tried calling five more times before I turned my phone off, not able to take it anymore.

I stood up from the chair at my desk, running a shaky hand through my hair.

Father had done something about it, after all? He was so adamant on...not doing anything about, so why the sudden change of mind?

I needed answers.

I walked out of my room, heading for my father's study to have a long talk with him about this.

I wasn't mad at all about it. Matter of fact, I was happy that he was finally doing something about it. I just wished he had of told me, so I could've ended the trial sooner by going in and saying that it was all true to the allegations on her.

I knocked on the door of his study when I got to the room.

"Come in—"

I opened door, walking in without his full permission. "You decided to take Mingxia to court?" I asked immediately, making him stop during mid-writing.

He looked up at me with a confused look on his face. "Excuse me?"

"She just called me crying, begging me to go in court and state we never had any sexual relations before I was 18," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

A smile slowly crept to my lips, feeling like I could respect him a bit more than I had been over the last few months.

"Son, I... don't know what you're talking about," he said slowly, sitting his pen down.

The smile dropped from my face, confused by this as well. "I... I don't understand. Who's...who would decide to pick this case back up then?" I asked, turning away from him now.

He was quiet for a while, giving me time to think about who it could be. "Son, I have to talk to y—"

"You should check in on mother sometimes," I said before walking out of the room for any further conversation.

I didn't want to have any conversations with him right now when I had other things to worry about. Like finding out who had brought up a case against Mingxia.

"So, you found out," mother said as soon as I walked in her room.

"Mother..." I called, walking over to her bed. "How...when...where?" I couldn't seem to find the right words or question to ask.

"Sit," she said softly. "You haven't told your father, right?"

I closed my mouth, not able to tell her that I'd spilled the beans so early. "I didn't know. She called me, crying...begging me to say none of it was true. I thought...father had finally given in to putting up a case. I'm sorry," I said, feeling guilty for giving her away so soon.

She smiled at me, shaking her head. "It's okay. I didn't know that she would try and bring you into this so early," she said, looking at me apologetically.

"I felt so...angry...so much hatred towards her...for even coming to me...asking me to...lie for her. How could she do something like that?" I asked, feeling myself get angry again.

"She's a selfish woman who only thinks about herself," she said. "She doesn't even think she's done anything wrong."

I shook my head, not believing that. How had I not seen her as that selfish woman she is now?

I sure as hell wasn't blinded by any form of love.

"You used what made you feel better at the time," is what Clow Reed had told me.

He couldn't have been any more right than that.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, just feeling the need to tell her.

"I know you are, Little Wolf," she said softly. "I know. I hope you are no longer beating yourself up about all of this anymore."

I shook my head slowly. "No. I just know what I need to focus on now."

"Which is?"

"The things that are most important to me..."

"I understand," she said softly.

"Where's Sakura?" I asked.

"I want to say in her room working on some school stuff," she said. "Why do you ask?"

My cheeks warmed, hearing the suggestion in her tone. "N-nothing. I just wanted to see if..."

"Mhmm."

I groaned. "How are you anyway?" I asked to change the subject.

"Oddly...I feel...fine," she said, looking deep in thought about something right now.

"Why oddly? Have you been taking your medicine?" I asked, feeling worried for her now.

"I've been doing exactly what the doctors have told me to do," she said.

I sighed in relief. "Okay good," I said.

"You go ahead and do what you were about to do. We can all go out to dinner tonight at a nice restaurant. My treat," she said.

I smiled, nodding at her. I leaned down and kissed her head. "Thank you for everything, Ma. Get some rest and I'll be back to check on you in a little bit," I said.

When I pulled back, I look at her face, admiring her appearance. She did look a lot better than she normally does. Her hair had even started growing back a bit. Her face looked less pale and she looked...at peace, happy and content about life.

That meant the world to me.

"Go have fun," she said, shooing me out of the room.

I chuckled, walking out the room. As soon as I closed the door, I headed straight to Sakura's room so I could talk with her about everything going on. I suddenly felt a lot better than I had been feeling the last months.

When I faced her door, I knocked on it gently.

"Come in," I heard her faintly say, making my heartbeat increase in my chest.

I turned the knob of the door, pushing it open. I walked in slowly but stopped at the entrance to get her full permission. She had not even looked up yet, seeming to be focused on the laptop in her lap. I cleared my throat to get her attention.

She looked up at me, eyes widened. "Oh, Syaoran," she said, pulling her laptop close a little. "I didn't know that was you knocking," she said, smiling at me a little.

My heart nearly skipped several beats, seeing the pleasant look on her face.

And suddenly, I didn't want to lose sight of that face. I didn't want to lose Sakura. I didn't want anyone else to have her either, and I certainly did not mean that in a possessive way as a means to claim her.

I wanted to be with Sakura. And there was no way I could be with her if I didn't fight for her. I couldn't keep brooding over losing her if I wanted to be with her. I had to fight.

I had given her enough space...right? I would do this right this time. I wouldn't push her...pressure her into anything she didn't want.

I would respect her like she deserved. I would show her that she meant a lot to me. I just have to prove to her that I'm a changed person.

And suddenly, my intentions changed of why I had come here.

"Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about mother and... something else," I said the last part hesitantly.

"She's doing fine, right? I checked on her before I came in to do some homework," she said.

I nodded. "Yes. She said that she's been feeling fine...'oddly,'" I said the last part skeptically.

Why would it be odd that she's feeling fine? I couldn't quite understand what she had been trying to say.

Sakura stared ahead, looking deep in thought about what I had said. "That is odd," she said quietly.

"Why's that?" I asked, raising a brow at her. "Is there something I'm not aware of?"

"Of course. But speaking of not being aware, I heard that a certain someone has a case," she said, a grin spreading across her face.

My mood was suddenly lit like a candle. "Mother's so sly," I said, not able to contain the grin from her contagious one.

"She is," she said.

My brows scrunched together, looking at her suspiciously. "How did you know about it?" I asked.

"Well..."

"You guys have been sharing secrets, haven't you?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as I gave her a pointed look.

"Maybe a little bit," she said, giggling a bit.

"Sakura," I called, suddenly changing my tone into a serious one so she could know and see how much I mean what I would say next.

"Y-yes?" she stuttered, surprised by my sudden change of behavior.

"Let's go out," I said.

"What?" she asked, looking confused as ever now.

"I know I said that we could try to be friends, but I can't just have you as a friend in my life forever. I'm in love with you so I want more...if you're willing to give more," I said, walking in her room fully.

She stood up from the chair at the desk with a look of fear in her eyes. "Stop."

I stopped, seeing how serious she looked. "What are you on about?" she asked slowly.

"I love you, Sakura. I know you said that you don't know if there would ever be a future between us again like that, but I don't want to give you up. I can't just give you up like that. I'm willing to do...whatever you need me to do to make us work. I've given you three months to have some space. I'm willing to give you as much time and space as you need, as long as I know the end game. I will wait years if I need to...just tell me, what do you want me to do?" I asked, not caring how desperate and needy I sounded right now. I was desperate for another chance with the only woman I would ever love like this.

"Syaoran, this is so...sudden. Where is this coming from? Is it about what happened at Tai's?" she asked softly.

"When I walked in and saw that...content look on your face, I realized that I want to see that look...every single day. I'm not proposing or asking your hand in marriage...but—"

"Are you sure?" she asked, letting out a nervous laugh.

"Positive. I just want to take you out on a date, to start somewhere. I want you to see that I've changed and I'm not the guy I once was. When I think back on it, those two weeks we spent together changed me. It made me want to do better; treat you better than I have before. That conversation in the closet in the bucket of ice water just added to this conversation," I said sincerely.

I knew there was only so much I could say before showing through my actions.

She was quiet for a while, creating the anticipation in my chest.

"I'm..."

"First, tell me how you feel. That's what really matters," I said when hearing the hesitation.

"I'm fine. I'm...over all of that and I've forgiven, like I said two weeks ago," she said.

I sighed in relief, hearing the honesty in her tone completely sober this time.

"But," she came back, making me hold my breath again. "I don't know if I could fully trust you like I used to..."

I could feel the disappointment wash over me before I pushed it to the side. "And I understand and respect that. But, I'm willing to try and gain your trust again. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. Just...give me another chance to see that...please," I said, looking at her desperately, just as much as I felt.

"Syaoran..."

"Sakura...I... please," I said, moving closer to her. "I'll do anything. Anything," I said, falling to my knees in front of her.

Her eyes widened, clearly surprised by my actions. I didn't know what else to do though. I felt exactly how I looked right now; desperate. Desperate for her love, another chance, and a future with her. I want Sakura. I couldn't see life without her in it because she wouldn't be here forever. I knew that. I wanted to do something about it before I lost her again. I couldn't go through another three months or so without her.

When she didn't respond, I grabbed her hands gently in her lap, holding them tightly. "Please, Sakura," I said again.

"I-I..." she hesitated.

I looked in her eyes, feeling my own water at not being able to read them. Was it official? Was she fully over me and could never see me that way again?

"I'll...think about it," she said finally.

I let out a sigh in relief, just glad that she had given me something. "That works. I just want one date so you can know how serious and changed I am now."

She nodded, swallowing nervously. "I'll think about it," she said again more confidently.

That didn't give me any clarification, but it sure felt better than getting rejected again like she had done so many times already.

"S-stand up," she said, pulling her hands back from me slowly.

I released her hand, standing up as she demanded. "S-sorry," I said.

"No, no... I just...that took me by surprise," she said.

I chuckled, scratching the back of my head nervously. "I... sorry about that. I just...I want you to know how serious I am about this," I said. "I know I've said and done a lot in the past, but I'm different now. I know it's a process and I still have a lot of maturing to do, but I do know how to treat you. I know how to respect you and other women around me now. I'm not the same 11-year-old boy who gave in to a 35-year-old woman," I said, meaning every word I'd just spoken.

She nodded slowly, looking deep in thought. "I know...I just...I'll give you an answer to the date...tomorrow," she said softly.

I smiled at her a little, nodding my head. "I'll let you get back to your studying then," I said gently.

She smiled at me, nodding before I left her to her studying. I closed the door behind me gently, feeling a lot better and confident about my progress with Sakura. I was in full gain the trust back of the woman I love mode.

I would do anything I needed to do to get Sakura's trust back.

A/N: Ahhh, I know that I haven't updated in a while when I said I would finish the story before the end of the year last year, but here we are now lol I've literally had this chapter done for the last 5 months. I'm so sorry! I have a lot of personal issues with consistency right now in my life, so I hope you guys can bear with me! D: