*All rights to Kiera Cass*
DBZfanLou- aww thank you!
KMlovesfanfics- I'm happy you liked it! Good luck on your Betrothed hunt (i'll give my thoughts in a sec :/)
BookLoverisGoingInsane- I don't know why but there was something about your review that made me laugh. Thank you so much, you're so sweet!
GummyBear1178- I honestly feel that rereading thing so hard. I just finished my last AP test, but I've been doing a lot of rereading after them.
Bluebelles112- thank you! ALSO how did I forget that PIVOTAL development! Thank you for reminding me that the selection movie is FINALLY happening!
Virtue 01- your review was so sweet and thoughtful! Thank you so so much!
Sarah- ok lol I don't know why people keep thinking that I'm done writing this story haha, but I'm definitely not. Also thank you so much, but I am not better than Queen Kiera.
TheSelection4.0aspiringauthor- thanks :))
BlissfulBillie- thank you thank you
Sk8r g1rl- ok not going to lie I have definitely been guilty of that more times that I want to say so I get it. I have some fun plans for the rest of this story so stay tuned.
Char J- okay wait this is the same as Sarah. I am still posting! I originally created this story in 2017 (and I now look at it and cringe lol) but it's still coming!
K12- yes! I love them always and forever
Thank you so much to everyone mentioned and unmentioned who read, liked, followed, or reviewed my story! It truly means the world that people are reading and enjoying my writing!
Hello to my lovely readers! Thanks for all your lovely comments and reading my story. I appreciate you all. Ok I have to say: I read The Betrothed. It was… not my favorite. I don't know if I just expected too much, but it definitely was nowhere near the writing in the Selection and it made me so sad honestly. Anyway (as Bluebelles112 reminded me) we can bask in the glory that is a forthcoming Selection movie. This is kind of a shorter chapter, but I needed another chapter to kind of set up the rest of this story. Yes, the rest of this story. I know the ending of this story and while it's still a ways off, it's coming. I think there are probably less than 10 chapters left and then I have a cute epilogue planned. Stay tuned for the rest and please enjoy this pretty heavy chapter.
Also like I said in my last update, my PMs are always open if you need to chat. happy mental health may y'all :)
Without further ado… Chapter 16- Fire and Salt
My maids and Marlee all came in together with massive smiles and tears blurring their vision. Aspen came late at night. He hovered in the doorway until I beckoned him in. He squeezed my hand and kissed my forehead before telling me to get some sleep. I smiled and nodded and retreated to that familiar darkness.
My room flooded with well-wishers and teary friends in the hours and days after I woke up. It was nice. I hadn't realized how many friends I had made in my short months at the Palace But it was also more than a little overwhelming. I was glad to be back in the peace and quiet of my own room. And with a piano. Apparently Maxon was planning on surprising me with a new one after the State Ball. But then…
I sighed, shaking the past out of my head. I tried to focus on Silvia speaking in the front of the room. For some reason that none of us knew, the Selection was still underway. I still couldn't wrap my head around it. Maxon proposed to me months ago. All of the girls saw the way he was after the State Ball. Even I was surprised when Marlee told me exactly how much of a wreck. And now my family was gone-home to Carolina-and I was back to classes. Silvia, I told myself, focus on Sylvia.
"Therefore, as I am sure you have all surmised by now, I am assigning you a pivotal project." I tried not to roll my eyes. All her projects were pivotal, but none of them ever impacted Maxon's choice. I could fail miserably at every single one of them and I was still Maxon's princess. "You will each research and compose a presentation on what your primary initiatives would be if Prince Maxon were to choose you as Illea's next princess and eventually queen. In two weeks, you will present these initiatives to the country on the Capital Report. Please reach out to me if you need any help. You are dismissed."
I stood, trying to ignore the dark spots that still danced in my vision when I moved. Marlee offered a steadying hand. I smiled and took it.
I woke up two weeks ago and was cleared to return to normal activities three days ago, but Maxon insisted I got more rest. I would have listened but I was itching to do something. Anything would be better than another day lying in bed. If the dizziness flooding my body was any indication though, Maxon was right. I could have used more rest.
When I reached my room, I collapsed on my bed and was asleep in seconds.
I awoke to knocking at my door. "What?" I called groggily, burrowing deeper into the blankets.
Someone swore. "I'm sorry, darling, I didn't realize you were asleep. I'll come-"
I swung the door open, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes. "No, no, I'm up. Come in."
Maxon's warm brown eyes softened as they met mine. He stepped into my room and pulled me into his arms. I leaned into him.
"How are you today, darling?" He murmured into my hair.
I smiled against his chest. "Better now that you're here."
He laughed and I pulled back, arching a brow. What is it?
Maxon grabbed my hand and pulled me to the small sitting area in the corner. He waved a hand as if telling me to sit and began pacing. I laughed and crossed my arms. I tried to ignore the slice of pain in my shoulder.
Maxon ran a hand through his hair and stopped in front of me. "Mom told me that you're doing the report presentations soon."
I nodded but stayed silent.
"Do you know what you're going to pick? It has to be good, America."
I bit my lip. I had been toying with an idea, but it was dangerous. It was dangerous, but so so necessary and that's what I would want to do as Queen. I crossed to Maxon and pulled him to sit with me. I could see the nerves vibrating through his body. His hands squeezed mine and I flashed him a tight smile.
"This is going to sound crazy and I know that but I think it needs to be done. I've seen so many bad things come from them and no one is really helped by them. I think we could do it together and it would make Illea so much better, Max. I just need you to trust me. It sounds so crazy but I promise it's not and I just… I'm babbling."
Maxon laughed and nodded.
I glanced around the room, but it was empty. We were the only ones here. I trusted Max. If it was a terrible idea, then he would stop it.
"I want to abolish the castes."
It was barely a whisper but I saw it register in Maxon's head. His eyes lit up, but in a second the color drained from his face. He oscillated between shaking his head and nodding. It was somewhat funny if I was honest, but that terror filling his eyes was more than sobering. I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around myself.
"You cannot do that, America." He shook his head again. "They would kill you. My father would kill you himself. And he finally doesn't have a problem with us getting married."
"He doesn't?"
Maxon huffed a laugh. "It would seem saving his life helped some."
I didn't laugh with him. King Clarkson finally agreed with Maxon's choice. He was finally willing to let him marry me. "Then why are we still doing this, Maxon?"
He averted my icy eyes. Maxon didn't say anything. The silence hung between us like charged cords.
"Your father was the only reason we were still doing this, Maxon. And now he agrees. So why are we still doing this? Why haven't you ended it?"
He sputtered and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know, America. I don't know. He agrees, but… I don't know."
Then it hit me. I spoke slowly and deliberately over the lump forming in my throat. "So your father has finally agreed. And… you're not sure anymore."
"No, no, America, it's not like that." He pled. "I know that it's you. It's always been you. It's just…"
"Just what, Maxon?" I snapped.
Maxon slumped into an armchair and let his head fall into his hands. His chest rose and fell twice before he spoke. "I almost lost you, America."
I breathed sharply and the echo of that pain flashed through my body. "I don't think I'll quickly forget almost dying." The words had more venom than I'd intended.
"America." Maxon's voice broke and my own heart broke with it. "I almost lost you. And I wanted to die with you. I can't do that again, America. I can't watch you only half alive in the hospital wing and praying to anyone out there to save my entire world. I love you with every ounce of me and more and I can't live with the fear that you're going to be ripped away from me at any moment."
I sat on the arm of his chair and pulled his chin up to meet my eyes. "You won't lose me, Maxon. I'll be fine. I'm right here."
His hands skimmed over my arms and my face as if trying to convince himself that I really was there. "But the only way I can guarantee your safety is to keep you in the Palace or keep a battalion with you at all times. But I can't do that. Because I don't want you to resent me or feel trapped even if it's for my sanity. So I'm trying to see if I can let you go and be okay."
My heart shattered. I loved him so much it hurt sometimes, but he was right. I loved him and he loved me but he was right and that's what hurt the most. I would resent it all. I would resent him if he had to lock me up and throw away the key. But losing him would be worse than losing myself. And I couldn't do that any more than he could.
"Don't." I whispered, blinking away tears. "Don't do that Max. Don't let me go. I couldn't do it. I couldn't lose you. Especially not knowing that you were so close. I couldn't do it, Maxon. Give me the guards and we can work something better out later, but don't make me go. Don't make me go."
My body shook with sobs and Maxon pulled me into him. His arms were tight around me, but I could feel the sobs raking him too. Our love was big and wonderful, but it was scary too. Our love could hurt us one day.