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Chapter 19

Damon woke up to Elena's phone going off in the middle of the night. She sat up her eyes wide with alert and he felt his own heart quicken with panic. She reached over with trembling hands to grab her phone.

"Jer?" She picked up. "What's wrong...what? You what? Why do you want to talk to Damon? Where are you? Why are you there? Are you drunk? Do you have any idea how bad you just freaked me out?" Her voice continued to raise an octave with each question. She finally stopped scowling at whatever answer he gave her.

"He wants to talk to you." She handed the phone to Damon getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom, her face was still pale from the fear.

"Jeremy what the hell? Why did you call her at three in the morning?" Damon hissed.

"I gottta talk to you and I'm stuck at the graveyard." He said.

"Don't you live a few blocks from there?" Damon asked.

"I got talk to you here." Jeremy slurred.

"Oh for the love of…" Damon muttered.

"Don't bring Elena with you." He said.

"Yah no shit Sherlock," Damon spat out.

"What is going on with him?" Elena asked.

"I don't know he's at the graveyard drunk. I'm gonna go get him and bring him home." Damon said.

"Why did he call you?" Elena asked.

"He didn't he called you." Damon said averting his eyes.

"You're a terrible liar." She accused. "He called me asking for you…what's going on Damon have you two talked since...we did?"

"Yes." He admitted. "I talked to him that night. I just wanted to make sure this place was safe, and I had any details I needed."

"We should talk about this…you and I not you and Jeremy. I've been trying to keep him out of this for years now." She sighed.

"I know. I just knew he would be able to give me a description in case the guy came into town and I wanted to gauge how big of a threat he was. I didn't want to ask you any more questions. It was hard enough for you." He said.

"I know and I understand that, but this is my life. You are a part of it now, but it's still mine you can't go behind my back on stuff." She said.

"I didn't mean to go behind your back. I was just trying to find a way to save you without causing you anymore pain." He said softly.

"You were drilling Jeremy on what his plans were?" She guessed touching his cheek.

"Why don't we talk tomorrow? I gotta get Jer before he does something stupid." He sighed running his hand through her hair.

"I'll be up we can talk when you get back." She said her voice was gentle but firm. He nodded and kissed her forehead.

"I just...I'd do anything for you, you know?" He said softly, before he left.

Damon found Jeremy slouched over his father's gravestone.

"My dad was a hero did you know that?" Jeremy looked up with blood shot eyes. "Amber Bradley she's a girl around my age grew up here, she got attacked by a wildcat one day. The infection was so bad they didn't think she would make it. My dad saved her life, it was miracle."

"He did so much for the people here, it wasn't all miracles, but he helped people get better every single day." Jeremy said.

"Yes he did." Damon agreed. "That hasn't changed."

"But he is a lie." Jeremy continued as if he hadn't even heard Damon.

"He is a lie it all started with a lie…he was to brave and too proud to call for help so he let her bleed to death. He let her die! He made my uncle hide the body with him and now I don't know who he is." He said getting a little louder.

Damon remained silent; he knew what Jeremy needed was to get it out. What a terrible secret to carry around, without anyone to talk to about it.

"I thought I was okay. I thought I was past it but then I come home and it all just hit me." He added.

"I know. I'm so sorry, man." Damon said.

"I'm going to be no better than him, maybe it's for a good cause, but it's the same damn thing for the same damn girl!" Jeremy tried to stand up and fell back down Damon grabbed his arm and steadied him.

He had no idea what it was like to hero worship your father, he never had. Stefan did though. Damon wondered how hard it would be for his little brother when he saw the reality of who Giuseppe really was.

"Jeremy; John sees things his way. What he said happened and what actually happened are probably very different." Damon said. "What happened to Isobel was an accident, it doesn't change who Grayson was, it doesn't. Unless you let it so don't let it."

"But now I'm..."

"You're not going to do the same thing." Damon snapped. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I really don't. I shouldn't have called you the night I found out. I hadn't had time to think things out yet. I'll find a way to free her that won't involve you, and hopefully won't send me to prison."

"So you're not going to..."

"Not unless I have too." Damon said. He saw her face tonight when he said he'd do anything for her. That statement terrified her. He knew then and there; he couldn't risk ending up like John.

"We'll figure something out." Jeremy stumbled to get up again coughing roughly into his sleeve

before spitting on the ground.

"Were you doing drugs tonight?" Damon said gritting his teeth. "How am I supposed to trust you to help me to run my boarding house?"

"I smoked a blunt with a buddy." He admitted coughing again. "It was just a little weed; I've been freaked out since we talked."

"Fine, just keep your shit together okay?" Damon moaned grabbing his arm and hauling him to his car. Jeremy still had the flowers Damon guessed he meant to leave here clutched in his hand. He took them from him and walked back putting all but one Jeremy's parent's gravestone. He glanced over to see Jeremy slumped over in the car and passed out.

He walked over to the big oak tree and set the flower down near the roses he and Elena had left. She hadn't been back here. He knew it was something she needed to do soon. She was facing so many ghosts here. He wished he could just stand in front of her like a shield from all of them, but he knew he couldn't do that.

"Thank you for your daughter. She is an amazingly special girl, but you know that. The people you hoped would protect her didn't always do that very well and I know wherever you are, you're probably worried." He said bowing his head respectfully. "I am too, but I'm going to find a way to make sure she's okay. I have to. I can't ever let anything happen to her again."

"I love her." He added before lifting his head and heading back to his car.

Elena paced the house until she ended up sitting outside the rose garden with a flashlight. She always felt calm out here. When Damon lent her his car, she had come down here to get a rose for her mom. But she chickened out and sat down to write a rather emotional diary entry about Damon instead.

She wasn't sure why she felt so comforted in Damon's mom's 'spot' but was so scared to go face her own mom. She had been there, and it felt so real and then she just didn't know what to say.

Jeremy was facing his demons tonight, if he was at the graveyard it couldn't mean anything else.

Man, we are messed up she thought bitterly.

She was very grateful that Damon agreed to help Jeremy out. Somewhere along the line they bonded, and she missed it. Clearly, she missed a pretty big conversation and that bothered her..

If she knew Damon and she definitely knew Jeremy, Damon probably didn't like Jeremy's plan which Elena guessed involved her taking legal action. She could only guess where the conversation went from there, but clearly it messed Jeremy up.

She wrenched her hands and paced, she was worried, mostly about what Damon had said and the conviction in his voice. She had heard it before from her father and that ended badly.

Damon was the first man she allowed herself to trust, the first man that was amused and enjoyed her stubbornness and her independence, who encouraged it. He was the first man to care about her for her.

Even as she peeled back the awful layers for him and let him see the sides, she was afraid to show. He embraced those sides too and she was okay with that. She could be weak around him sometimes just like she could be strong, and it was okay either way.

He didn't run away or look at her in pity but embraced her and pushed her through. He was giving her the strength. The strength to continue to stay here and live this life. She was letting herself bond with Jenna and Caroline too, all because of this strength she now had.

She was allowing herself to get closer and closer to Damon because she knew he was there, she trusted in his feelings for her. His unwavering devotion and kindness, affection and understanding to her is what gave her the strength to trust herself again.

she was finally realizing who she was and what she wanted. He helped her find that girl again. Somewhere down the line he even got her to trust him enough to let herself fall.

But in the midst if it all she didn't stop to think about what he would do for her. How far he would go and now she was so worried.

"I can't lose Damon." She whispered the sheer idea of it terrified her.

She didn't relax until she heard his car pull into the driveway.

Damon couldn't find Elena when he got home, and he immediately started to panic. He was beyond relieved when she casually strode through the front door, in his black bath robe which was way to big for her and draped across the floor. She had it un-buttoned over her shorts and tee shirt with her little ballet flats on, and a flashlight in her hand. Relief faded to amusement and then just curiosity when he gazed at her in her little get up.

"I needed to think, it's easy to do out there." She gestured to the garden.

"I see." He grinned a little at the irony of this night. He spent time with her mom, and she spent time with his. They really were kindred spirits, weren't they?

"How's Jer?" She asked slowly, walking over and sitting down in the big chair. She wrapped the robe around herself.

He started up a fire and sat on the couch near her.

"He's okay now. It's just hitting him hard, his dad's legacy… being here." Damon sighed. "Just like you, he takes responsibility for things he shouldn't, things that happened a very long time ago, and are not either of your faults."

"I know he does…I do sometimes blame myself sometimes and sometimes even Grayson. I know I shouldn't, it was an accident. We're just so messed up." She sighed.

"Your parents are." Damon corrected her.

"Most of our parents are dead Damon. We are, but Jeremy actually has a shot at being normal. I can't let him keep thinking he can save me that and it will fix what happened back then. It won't." She said.

"I honestly didn't mean to get him involved. It was the night you told me. I was spinning out and thinking out loud. …I didn't know it would freak him out. I told him that night I didn't want him involved." Damon said getting up and pacing.

"Just start at the beginning." She said curling her knees underneath her. His robe seemed to swallow her.

"I just wanted the details like I said, and then I wanted to know what his plan was. It was something I didn't think you'd like; we argued a bit about it." He said.

"He wants me to take some type of legal action." She said. "Damon you don't need to protect me from the reality of my situation. Discussing it doesn't freak me out like thinking about what happened back then does."

"I'm sorry. I always want to treat you equally, but with all partners sometimes one steps up and takes care of the other when they need it. I was trying to do that." He said.

"I needed you to do that, that night. I wouldn't have been able to handle any pressure like that from Jeremy so soon after talking about it with you. You did the right thing making sure you knew what was going on and then just taking care of me." She said her eyes softly looking at him and her voice gentle.

"I always try to do right by you." He said with misty eyes.

"Damon you always do." She assured him. She stood up and he hugged her. They stood there silently for a few moments. She pulled back slowly and sat on the couch. He got up and got a half a drink for himself before stirring up the fire more and then joining her.

She sat next to him silently for a while. She could tell he was now feeling bad about talking to Jeremy behind her back. She didn't want that, but she needed to know what had happened.

"So what freaked Jeremy out then?" She asked after they gathered themselves together again and he took a sharp breath.

"I was just thinking out loud and I hate him enough, but…"

"Damon no." She said her face going pale.

"I can't lose you like that." She felt herself start to panic and then his hands were on her shoulders his eyes gazing intently at her.

"I know." He said she gazed into his eyes and felt that ease come over her. "I know."

"That's why even though," He continued, she found herself transfixed on his intent gaze. "I hate him enough to risk anything to save you. It would hurt you so bad your freedom would be tainted, and I love you too much to risk that. So unless...I have no other choice, I won't go that route."

She half gasped her breath caught in her throat and she literally felt like time had stopped. She could swear the only sound she could hear was her heart pounding. He seemed to freeze realizing what he had actually just said after the fact.

"You what?" She whispered. His eyes came alive gazing at her in a way that made the world just stop for them.

"I love you Elena." He said softly gazing her cheek with his thumb.

"Damon, I think I love you too." She said her eyes welling up with tears.

"It's okay, if you're not sure. I just want you to feel loved. You deserve so much. You're everything to me you know that?" He said tucking her hair behind her ear. "You knocked on my door and became the center of my world."

She sobbed his blue eyes were so full of so much emotion it almost made her dizzy.

"Oh Damon. You don't even know how much you do for me all the time, every second." She struggled for words before just kissing him again.

He kissed her back softly and she could almost feel everything disappearing. A crackle from the fire brought her back to reality and she pulled away, staring longingly at his lips for a moment.

"Damon, I don't know if I really know what love is, but I'm figuring it out and I think it's this it's you."

His whole face seemed to light up she wished she could bottle up the hope and now clear love she could see swimming in the ocean of his eyes for her.

"I know for sure that I need you with me, next to me. Not diving in front of a bullet for me or worse setting one off for me." She said taking a deep breath.

"I know and I get that I do. I need you next to me just as bad, angel, believe me." He said his eyes watery.

"That's why we do have to figure out what our options are here." He said looking concerned and hesitant, so he had been avoiding this too and know at least she knew why.

.

"Damon what exactly does no other choice entail?" She asked suddenly narrowing her eyes at him.

"I won't let him hurt you ever again." He said with conviction in his voice.

"So if he attacks me? Or if he shows up here?" She asked.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if he shows up here. I never hated anyone more than that bastard." He muttered.

"I know, but he is a police officer and he was already shot once by my dad the same week I 'left him'. I don't know what the story is or whatever, but it probably paints me badly and if my boyfriend suddenly shoots him...he's going to point me out to be the evil one here." She said grimly.

His eyes seemed so worried. She started walking around thinking things out. She needed to stay calm.

"I know Elena. Let's just hope it doesn't come to that. Maybe he just won't ever show up here." He said rubbing his head in frustration. They both knew that wasn't likely. The longer she stayed here the better the chances he'd eventually figure out where she was.

"We might have an issue." Elena said grimacing. "Andie confronted me at the diner today, she's clearly not over you...and Jenna told me about her looking you up."

"Oh fuck." He swore loudly standing up and pacing across the parlor.

"I'm going to go talk some sense into her." He said.

"Damon it's past five in the morning." Elena grabbed his arm gently. "She isn't going to find a damn thing on an Elena Fleming, and she has no idea where I'm from or anything."

"She could eventually connect the dots." Damon said.

"I know…but I think I should talk to her." Elena said.

"What? It's only going to further infuriate her and give her more of a reason to do it." He said.

"She needs to just move on. Maybe a part of her is pissed that I came in and busted her bubble or something, but if I can just appeal to her on a woman to woman level maybe she'll chill. I think if you talk to her in any capacity it's just going to fuel her thing for you more." Elena sighed with frustration.

"Maybe we should have Jenna talk to her." Damon suggested. "They were sort of friends."

"That might work." She nodded. "I think eventually he will find me here, whether it's Andie or whatever. But maybe if we know beforehand, we can fight him with his own tools so to speak."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I'm sorry I'm thinking out loud, I rethink my strategy every so often." She said walking over and grabbing a coke from the mini fridge under the drink cart.

"Cleary everything has changed. I can't keep moving anymore. I feel like this is home here, so it's time to rethink a new plan."

"It is home." He said. "We'll find a way to keep it that way."

"I hate to even ask, but you have money…you could hire private investigators." She said slowly.

"Don't ever hesitate to ask me for anything." He said quickly. "Of course, I can do that. Following a cop isn't going to be easy though."

"Not really follow him, just keep an eye on where he's at." Elena said. "So, if he comes here, we know ahead of time."

"That's smart." He said looking proud. "Yeah I'll do that right away."

"I always ran when I thought he found me." She said. "This time I'll be waiting for him."

"Elena what are you talking about?" He asked warily.

"I'll let him find me, he'll incriminate himself and attack me, but I can wear a wire and the police can be waiting for me." She said a strange combination of both fear and determination in her eyes.

"I don't know Elena." He said slowly his voice gentle. "That wouldn't be the end of it. He would get arrested, but there would still be a court date."

"I know." She said quietly.

"You would have to talk, and it wouldn't be like when you talked to me. The lawyers would be harsh, and they would expect you to give them specific details. You shouldn't have to go through that." He said.

"I know. Jer's wanted me to testify forever he beats around the bush waiting for the right moment to just say it. I know that's why he brought me here. He thinks it would make me stronger. John, like you, thinks it would be too difficult for me." Elena said.

"You know no one's ever actually asked what I feel about it though." She said.

"I'm sorry honey...I… how do you feel about it?" He asked.

"I am a realist first and foremost and I can't build a case from nowhere. It's been three years even with my detailed diary and Jeremy's pictures there is no proof he was or still is a threat to me. The best I could get would be a restraining order. That would not be worth the terrible anguish that being on the stand would bring." She said.

"That's the thing. Plus it could just anger him more." Damon said.

"On the flip side if testifying could somehow, put him in jail and get me justice. If we were ready for him and he buried himself somehow. I would suffer through trial, but only if I believed it would actually free me."

"A wire though it's a risky plan." He mumbled.

"He'd incriminate himself. I know he would." She said.

"I don't know if I would have even considered this before you Damon. I am stronger now and it's not because of what I've been through. It's because of what I've found with you." She said.

"You just have no idea how amazing you truly are." He said softly holding her face and kissing her gently.

"When you say it, I believe it." She whispered.

"You should because it so true. My, sweet beautiful Elena," He said kissing her tenderly neither of them pulling back until they needed air.

"So, what now?" She asked finally as he walked over to snuff the fire. The sun was coming up. She knew they had resolved some of it but not all of it. She didn't want to care Damon loved her it kind of muddled her thoughts on everything. She just wanted to kiss him again and not stop.

"I hire some PI's and we get Jenna to talk to Andie for us." He said. "We will talk more about your idea. I don't like the idea of you in harm's way. For now as long as we can get Andie to lay off, we have time."

"The longer I'm here the more of a base I build. My dad seemed to suggest if the town knew who I was they would go to bat for me." She mentioned.

"That's something to mull over later. We'd have to create a back story about your mom. That would be hard for you and then you're exposed."

"I know." She bit her lip.

"Let's shelf it, for now, it's six in the morning." He yawned.

"We have guests checking in in two days." She reminded him. "We have a lot to do, but we should deal with this Andie thing like yesterday."

"Let's go grab some breakfast, call Jenna, and then go sleep all day." He suggested. "We'll look up PI's and finish the rooms whenever we get up."

"Okay." She agreed with a yawn leaning against him as they walked to the kitchen.