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Chapter Eighteen

The first thing that Tony saw when he got to Peter's ward was May standing outside the room. She seemed upset, her shoulders turned in and head low. He rushed toward her, and her head snapped up at his approach. Her face changed. Any illusion of sadness was gone, and in its place was unfiltered rage. She looked furious.

"What's—"

She held up a hand. Taking a steadying breath, she squared her shoulders and jabbed a finger into his chest. "We need to talk."

Angry women were something Tony knew how to deal with, but right now, he needed to know that his kid was okay. "Is Peter okay?"

"He's with Ned."

Tony was shocked to hear that Ned was there, he'd thought May had been keeping visitors down until Peter was in a better place, but something had obviously changed.

She jabbed her finger into his chest again, and then grabbed his wrist, dragging him away. Stunned, he didn't resist. He simply trailed after her like a dog on a leash. She marched him to a side room, the whole-time radiating tension. Tony had no idea what he did, but he knew he probably deserved it. He usually did when it came to the women in his life being angry.

The room was small, and once inside, she let him go, rounding on him and waving an accusing finger. The only thing Tony could think this could be about was if Peter told her about his powers failing. Then she'd know that he had been hiding it from her, and that would never go over well. He still felt guilty for not telling her, and if that's what this was, maybe it wasn't sure a bad thing to have it out in the open. As long as she didn't try to bar him from seeing Peter, he could take whatever punishment she dealt.

She pushed him into a seat, and he fell into it without objection, watching as she fumed, her hands fisting at her sides. She seemed more pissed than he'd ever seen her, and he'd been on the receiving end of a spectacular reaming out when she'd found out he'd taken Peter to Germany to fight the Avengers.

May took a breath and crossed her arms over chest, leveling her gaze on him. Her eye twitched, and for some reason, that made Tony flinch.

"Okay, you're pissed, I get that. I'm—"

She cut him off. "Don't tell me you're sorry. I don't want to hear it. I want to know why you didn't tell me."

Tony flinched again. "This is about Peter's powers, right?"

"Unless there's something else about my kid that you're hiding from me, and I warn you now, there better not be, it's absolutely about that."

Tony lifted his hands, palms out, trying to ease her anger. "I'm not hiding anything else. Well, maybe…"

"Maybe what?" Her eye twitched again, and Tony swallowed. He knew Peter was on antidepressants and seeing a therapist, and he was pretty sure she didn't know, but it wasn't his place to tell her.

"Nothing I can say without betraying Peter, and I won't do that, but it's nothing bad."

He eyed him for a moment, and he found himself shifting under her gaze. Whatever she saw, it seemed to answer her questions, and she pressed on with the main topic. "Peter is losing his powers?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"No."

"Why not?" She all but growled.

"Honestly, I left it to Peter."

"Don't you dare blame him!" Her finger of accusation was pointed at him again, and he cowered a little under the intensity of it.

He raised his hands. "I'm not. I don't blame Peter for any of this. I only blame myself. But I found out he wasn't healing right about a week before the accident, and I didn't think it was my place to tell you. You remember when Peter and I were training?"

She nodded. "The black eyes."

"Yeah, we were sparring, and I caught him on the nose. It bled like a son of a bitch, which it shouldn't have. Hell, I shouldn't have gotten the punch in at all, so I sat him down and got it out of him what was going on. He said it had started about a month before, that he was getting hurt and not healing so fast and that he didn't feel so strong. I got Bruce on it right away, and he found out that there was something going wrong with Peter's body. He's creating T cells that are destroying the enhanced ones. He would have been back to a regular kid before long."

May sat in a chair a little way from his. She was silent, and her body lost some of the edges of anger. He wondered what she must be thinking. Did she have the same thoughts as him, that Peter could have a normal life?

"Poor Peter," she breathed, sounding defeated.

"Yeah. I know."

"He could never have lived like that—not happily."

Tony was ashamed of himself, where he had deluded himself into thinking Peter would be happier, she had seen the truth, that Peter would have suffered being side-lined. Maybe he didn't know the kid as well as he thought, or perhaps he was just selfish and wished for the outcome that would keep him safe.

"No. He couldn't. I found that out the day before the accident, and honestly, I didn't even think about telling you then. I had just delivered the news to Peter, who was wrecked by it. I got selfish and dealt with my own feelings first," he said sadly. "Before the accident, before he was hurt, I was happy about it. I knew how he'd feel, but I just saw the good of it. I wanted him to have a safe, normal life."

She shook her head. "You think I don't want that, too? But what in hell makes you think Peter could ever have had a normal life without his powers? He is Spider-Man. He sees the world needs help. He would never be able to go back to what he was before after—" She pressed her lips together, glaring gat him. "You're a damn idiot, Stark."

"I know. I'm…" He stopped before the apology came. "I was selfish. I screwed up." He figured she should know it all if she knows this much of his crime. "I let him leave after I told him what Bruce found out and didn't see the risk. Before we knew why it was happening, why he was getting weaker, I was patrolling with him, but he was upset, and I let him go off alone."

May's hands clenched into fists, and then she opened them, splaying her fingers out over her knees. She took a few controlled breaths. "It didn't make sense to me before, why he wasn't in his real suit and why you didn't know what had happened before I called, but now…" Her hands fisted again. "That part is done. You should have told me as soon as you knew he was having trouble with his powers, and you definitely should have told me when you knew exactly what was going on with him, so I could have been watching him. Why didn't you tell me after the accident? Did you know I felt bad for you? I thought you didn't know because something had gone wrong with his suit, that the monitoring settings you had failed, so I didn't ask and make you feel worse that you obviously already did."

Tony felt like an asshole. She'd been worried about him, while he'd been consumed with Peter and himself. He'd neglected Pepper, leaving her to get the news from May. He knew he didn't deserve Peter in his life, and now he saw he never deserved May either.

"It was my fault. I know that. I hate myself for it. If I'd paid more attention, I would have seen that the kid was going to sneak out and put himself at risk."

She opened her mouth and then closed it again. He leaned back as if to deflect whatever verbal blow she was about to send. Finally, she took another breath and then said, "You screwed up, but it's not your fault Peter was hurt. If I believed it was, I wouldn't let you anywhere near him."

"You're not going to keep me away, right?" He couldn't keep the hope from his voice, his body was thrumming with it.

The truth was, though, that she couldn't keep him away. He'd find a way to stay involved in his life, Peter meant too much to him, but he didn't want to put the kid in the middle of a fight between him and May either. He needed her on his side.

"I'm not. I want to right now, but I know I can't. I'm just so angry that you kept this from me, that you decided to hide something so important, but"—she tipped her head to the side, keeping her eyes on him—"he's your kid just like he's mine, and I don't have the right to separate you from your son. I'd hurt you both doing that. Don't think I care about you, because right now I don't, but I care about Peter. He loves you so much." She stood, stepping into his space and leaning down. "I will find a way to hurt you if you ever do something like this again. If there's something I need to know, you tell me."

"I get that, but what if it's Peter's to tell," he said, thinking of the medication and therapy.

"If it puts him at risk, I don't care whose it is to tell. If it's private for any other reason, you can keep all the secrets with him you like."

She seemed to be losing her steam, the anger fading. He was glad to finally have all the cards on the table. The guilt for the lies he'd been keeping lifted, and he felt relieved.

She stepped back, fixing her hair, which had fallen loose in her tirade. "Now, I'm going to see my kid."

"I can't?"

A small smile graced her lips. "No, you can, but first you're going to the cafeteria to fetch the pair of them more milkshakes. Ned likes chocolate, and Peter…"

Tony grimaced. "Banana if they've got it. Yeah. I know. Strange taste buds in that kid."

She laughed. "They really are and take your time. I know you want to see him, but he needs this time with Ned." She sighed. "I should have got him in here sooner. I make mistakes, too."

Not quite on the same level, Tony held the awards for screw-ups, but it was good to know she wasn't perfect either.