Chapter nineteen
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GIVE HIM?!" Roy shouted, his heart beating so fast he was surprised he was still coherent.
Melanie answered by kicking Roy in the face, making him fall backwards, before throwing Ed across the cage. "Enjoy your little brat while you can, Roy. He won't be the same ever again," Melanie said coldly as she stood up and left, Gregor following.
Roy felt his stomach clench at that particular remark and scrambled to his feet so that he could get over to Ed, dragging a few blankets over with him. Ed was hissing with pain as Roy turned him over on his back and sat him up. "Damn, that hurts…" Ed said through gritted teeth, holding his hand to his chest, his fingers and toes obviously causing him pain. "Did she say anything about what that was she gave me?"
Roy decided he didn't want to answer that, and replied in fear with his own question as he threw the blankets around them."What the hell were you thinking, Ed?!" Roy demanded in a tone harsher than intended.
"I couldn't let her give it to you!" Ed was looking at him desperately, tears welling up in his eyes. "I just couldn't!"
Roy was taken aback at the reaction. Ed was terrified. "Edward, what's wrong?"
"She was gonna give you an extra strong dose of that damn hallucination drug that she gave me and I couldn't let her do that! I couldn't let her do that to you because it's hell and it lasts so much longer than that nightmare thing you got and I couldn't listen to you go through that!" Tears were streaming down his cheeks now.
Roy sighed and pulled him towards him and into a hug, mindful of his fingers. He began stroking his back and held him close. This was all because of what had happened that time.
"I can't protect myself! You're too big and you have all your limbs! I don't! I don't wanna go through that again! Especially when your eyes would be open, because I CAN'T GET AWAY!"
And so Ed was sobbing against Roy's chest. And Roy felt terrible. His body was hurting with the guilt and the pain and the desperation in Ed's voice and tears were running down his own cheeks because Roy had done this to him. "I understand, Edward."
"I'm sorry! It's not your fault, I know that, but you're not in control with that drug! It messes with everything and it lasts for hours and I can't be alone with you with that! I'm sorry!"
"Ed, I'm the one who should apologise. And I probably would have done the same in your situation."
Ed just continued sobbing against Roy's chest for the next ten minutes.
Then the boy began shaking violently all of a sudden.
"Wh-what's going on, Roy?" Ed asked, his teeth chattering and his voice shaky. "Wha-what's wrong with me?"
"Edward, it's the cold, we should get some more blankets, I'll be right back."
"S-something's happening! My mind's screaming!" Ed said, looking at Roy desperately. "It's the drug! It's so noisy! Voices, thoughts, songs, words, they're all screaming!"
Roy didn't like this. Not one bit. "Listen, Edward, I'll get the rest of the blankets and we'll get through this together just like the rest of it."
Ed nodded weakly, his eyes wide and his entire body shaking.
Roy quickly went to grab the remaining blankets, but turned around sharply at the thump behind him. Ed was lying on his side, curled in on himself while gripping his head with his hand, his eyes shut tight. He was grimacing with torment and trembling violently.
Roy ran forwards, throwing the blankets down next to Ed and then he kneeled down in front of him, putting a hand on his head and on his shoulder. "Ed! What's wrong?!" Roy asked urgently.
Ed didn't open his eyes. "My head!" he gasped. "It's like it's on fire!" Ed started twitching and squirming on the ground, looking like he was doing everything he could in order to keep himself from screaming.
"Ed, just take it easy. Let's get you warmed up, first of all," Roy said, trying to sound calm before he began fixing the blankets. He may sound calm, but his insides were twisting themselves at the look on Ed's face.
"Gaah! Make it stop! Please!" Ed exclaimed.
"Edward! Just take a deep breath, it's only the drug," Roy said as he worked on the blankets as quick as he could.
"D-drug? What are you talking about? Where are we?" Ed asked suddenly, just as Roy reached out to place him on his lap. Roy froze.
"Ed, remember Melanie and the cage?"
Ed's eyes were brimming with tears, but he still looked confused. "What?" he asked weakly, terror shining in his eyes. He suddenly trembled violently again with a groan, his fingers gripping his hair, obviously causing him pain. His eyes snapped open, his body was shaking and he was panting heavily. "Wh-who are you? What did you do to me?!" he asked, his voice filled with terror and agony just before he began convulsing on the ground while screaming loudly.
Roy panicked. He grabbed a pair of blankets and rolled the boy up in them before pulling Ed onto his lap, restricting the boy's movements in order to stop him from hurting himself. Roy then pulled the other blankets around them and held Ed close, trying to soothe him, but Roy doubted he even knew he was there.
"MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" Ed screamed, trembling violently, his body fighting against Roy's secure grip.
Roy felt like throwing up at being unable to to do anything for Ed. He had no idea what Ed was going through, but he hadn't ever sounded so desperate for release before. "It will stop, Ed, it will, just stay strong for me a little longer," Roy said, hugging him even tighter.
When Ed opened his eyes about an hour later, his screaming finally having stopped to be replaced by wheezy sobs, the agony still very present, all Roy saw were a pair of unrecognisable golden eyes staring at him pleadingly.
Oh, god, there's no fire in them. It's gone.
"You can make it stop, can't you?!" Ed asked, staring madly at him like he was some divine being sent to rescue him. "You're big and strong and you can stop it!" He was so hopeful, so tormented.
And so different from the Ed Roy knew. This drug was breaking Ed's mind.
Roy felt like he could hardly breathe.
"Edward, I can't," Roy said, only now noticing the tear running down his own cheek.
"N-no, you can!" Ed urged, grinning shakily, head nodding with small and rapid movements. "Y-you can! You can make it stop and set me free! I want you to!"
Roy swallowed hard, his insides twisting themselves apart. He could never do that. "I can't, Edward. Please don't ask me to do that."
"No-no-no-no-no-no! You can do it! Please do it! I want you to!" Ed's pleading became more frantic as he was nearing another wave of agony it seemed. When Roy began shaking his head, Ed's eyes reached a new level of desperation. "PLEASE! I BEG YOU! JUST MAKE IT STOP!" Then Ed began twisting wildly again and he squeezed his eyes shut and began screaming with agony. "JUST KILL ME!" he shrieked, fighting violently against the blankets wrapped around him. "KILL ME! MAKE IT STOP! JUST END IT! PLEASE!"
Then suddenly, Ed just went limp. No shaking, nothing.
But his breathing was still ragged, calming Roy down just a bit just because he was still alive. Roy hardly knew what to do or think or anything right now. He had never heard anything so heartbreaking as those pleas. His hands were shaking and his own breathing was hitched and he was absolutely shaken to the core by seeing Ed that way.
He felt the tears running down his own cheeks as he looked at the boy. Ed seemed to be unconscious, but his features were still marred with the torment he was going through. He began twisting and gasping and shaking again, but he didn't open his eyes until many hours later. He blinked blearily up at him.
And then he froze, breathing heavily, obviously not recognising Roy at all. He began staring wildly around himself, looking for an exit, his eyes so different from how they usually were.
"Edward, take it easy, it's just Roy. I'm not going to hurt you."
Ed was beginning to panic, it seemed, and he was working hard to get away from Roy, making strangled shrieking sounds like he was some kind of small animal trapped under the paws of a large predator.
It was even worse than when Ed had been under the influence of that hallucinogen.
"Edward, calm down. I won't hurt you, I swear."
Ed began shrieking even louder and fought even harder. Roy tried to secure his grip better to stop Ed from hurting himself, but Ed suddenly got his right leg free and Roy got a knee in his face, breaking his nose and Ed used the opportunity of Roy's temporary lack of focus to get out of the blankets and start scrambling away from him. "Edward!" Roy said, his eyes watering and his nose bleeding while throbbing with pain.
Ed got over to the other corner of the cage, looking trapped and scared out of his wits and then he lay down on his side, curling in on himself and shielding himself with his arm, trembling.
Roy held up his hands in a placating gesture, realising that any sudden show of strength was only going to scare him more. Right now, he didn't care that blood was streaming down his face and his nose was throbbing like hell, Ed was scared out of his wits. He grabbed a couple of the black blankets, figuring that as it was in the middle of the day and the sun was shining brightly, it should be enough to keep him warm for a few hours at least until Ed had calmed down. "Listen, Edward… I won't touch you, I'm going to give you these blankets so that you can keep yourself warm, okay?" Roy asked, slowly walking forwards before dropping the blankets in front of Edward and then backed away and sat himself down in the other ones.
Ed looked at the blankets and at Roy for a long time, then he snatched them to him. "That's good, Ed, an now you just cover yourself in them," Roy encouraged kindly.
Instead, Ed sniffed them for a bit before he hugged them close to his chest, still shivering.
Roy's chest ached with fear. "Edward? Do you even understand what I'm saying?"