Hermione

''Morning'' Draco mumbled, head down in his pillow and chestnut curls splayed out everywhere. Being in my body clearly hadn't cured him of his inability to string a proper sentence together before 9am.

We had stayed up late chatting the previous night – it had been lovely to have an evening to ourselves, no Blaise or Harry or Ron (however much I loved them) getting in the way – and must have drifted off at some point.

''Morning'' I replied, unable to stop myself from smiling at the fact that we'd slept in the same bed. Draco had radiated heat like a furnace and I was unsurprised to discover that he was a duvet hogger, but it was still nice to wake up with him next to me.

Admittedly this wasn't how I had imagined us spending the night together. When I'd woken up to go to the toilet some time just after dawn I'd found his arm slung over my waist, which had filled me with a deep sense of happiness until I'd remembered it was my arm and I was essentially being cuddled by myself.

''Do you usually snore that much?'' Draco asked fuzzily, rolling on to his side and grinning at me.

''I don't snore, I breathe deeply'' I said, with as much gravitas as I could muster.

''Sure'' he said, grin widening. ''You sounded like an asthmatic hippogriff trying to run laps round the lake''.

''It's your body'' I reminded him indignantly. ''Maybe there's something wrong with your airways''.

''My airways are perfect, just like the rest of me. Anyway, I was just wondering whether it was something I'm going to have to get used to…'' he tailed off suggestively.

''Are you insinuating that we'll be having a lot of nights together Draco Malfoy?''

My tummy filled with jitters at the thought.

''When we've switched back Granger, I'm not going to let you leave this bed for a full week''.

His words and the hungry look in his eyes did nothing to help with my – I sighed at the phrase, but there was really nothing else I could call it – 'morning glory'. I was acutely aware that it was poking in his direction.

How had my life taken such a strange turn that this had become a daily and highly disturbing occurrence? Waking up every morning with an erection regardless of what I'd been dreaming about, the position I was lying in, the weather… It still sent me into a mild panic attack occasionally and I usually just waited for it to go down of its own accord, reciting complicated runes translations in my head to help the process along.

I tried not to think about how big Draco was, and if I slipped up and allowed my mind to remember what it had felt like to have him touching me between my legs, thrusting himself inside me, the whole problem went on that much longer.

Had Dumbledore honestly thought through all of the ramifications of transforming head boys and girls into the opposite sex? I sincerely hoped that my little morning companion wasn't a consequence he had envisaged and decided to go ahead with the whole thing regardless. I couldn't help feeling, not for the first time, that if he'd run his idea past a woman in the first place – Professor McGonagall perhaps – issues like this might have been raised.

Draco smirked as he caught sight of what was prodding the covers up. ''Ah I've missed the old guy''.

I felt a blush creep up my neck, though I wasn't exactly sure why. It was his horny body!

''Is there a quick way to get rid of it?'' I asked hopefully. ''It's really very inconvenient having to wait for it to go away''.

''Nothing other than the usual, you know'' he informed me, jerking his thumb twice and clicking his tongue.

''Oh God'' I groaned. ''Just don't look at it''.

Five more days and I would be back in my own wonderful non-dangly body.

''Hate to break it to you but I've seen him at full salute more times than you've put your hand up in class'' Draco drawled, clearly enjoying my embarrassment. ''Now that I think about it you could just try picturing Ron naked, I'm sure that would do the trick''.

I rolled my eyes. ''I was looking for serious suggestions''.

''I'm being deadly serious. I can't imagine a bigger turn off. And it doesn't seem fair that you're having all the fun' he added, looking down at his cleavage where I was perturbed to find that his – my? who knew anymore – nipples were standing out in peaks beneath the flimsy material of my nightdress. ''Hmm. It seems that your body is cheerful about our sleeping arrangements too'' he mused, pushing his breasts together with obvious relish.

I wasn't sure whether it was because of his conscious arousal or my body's unconscious reaction to the situation, but whatever was happening it was extremely confusing. Obviously I knew that every time Draco took a shower or got changed he saw me naked, but actually watching him staring at my body with such appreciation was oddly erotic. I wondered whether he ever touched my breasts, or anywhere else for that matter, the same way I couldn't help running my fingers across my chest and stomach to feel the hardness of his muscles. I couldn't quite bring myself to ask him, scared that his answer might make me feel things I didn't want to until I was definitively a girl again.

''Isn't it ironic that the only way of getting into your knickers is getting out of them?'' he said, looking up at me with a crooked smile.

I laughed and tried to shake myself out of this sexual quagmire. ''This is starting to all get a bit weird. Maybe we should get up and cover all our body parts before we cause any lasting psychological damage?''

''Alright alright I'll stop perving on myself'' he said, tearing his eyes away from my breasts with reluctance. ''There's something I wanted to ask you anyway''.

I could tell from the feigned casualness in his voice that it was something important to him. I knew him well enough by now to understand that he rarely let on to things that were bothering him openly – you had to read between the lines.

I rolled over to face him, propping my cheek on the pillow. ''What is it?''

He put his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

''My father found out about the switch because Dumbledore wrote to our parents and asked for permission'' he said. ''And I've been wondering…not that their reaction would be anywhere as remotely psychotic in comparison, but have your parents said anything?''

I swallowed. I had received an owl from them a few weeks ago, and they hadn't exactly been thrilled to hear that I was trapped in the body of a boy who from their perspective had mocked and insulted me for the last seven years. I hadn't got round to telling them that oh by the way while I've had a penis I sort of fell in love with the owner of said penis and we had sex while we were switched back, then his lunatic father tried to kill me, but it's all ok again now and we're in a clandestine relationship which I'm too nervous to tell my best friends about. Somehow, I didn't think that would translate well in a letter.

''They wrote to me'' I told him, trying to keep my voice neutral. I didn't want to hurt him by telling him everything they had said but I suspected the truth was plain on my face.

I saw the momentary flash of unhappiness in Draco's eyes before his usual shield came up. ''I see''.

''They've only ever heard what I've told them about you previously, before this year'' I said quickly.

''That I'm a humungous arsehole then?''

''Well, you can sometimes be chief of the arseholes'' I said reasonably, trying to tease him out of it.

''They're never going to like me, or want you to be with me' he said flatly. ''Not after all the things I've said and done in the past, and definitely not if they know about my family''.

''You'd be surprised'' I said softly. I reached out and put hand on his arm. He looked at me, his expression guarded. ''If I tell them all the things I've found out about you these last months, everything you've been through, how you literally risked your own life to protect me, how I've never felt this way before about anybody… then I don't think they'd be able not to like you''.

Draco was silent for a moment but I could see the relief in the set of his shoulders.

''Just like that?''

I nodded, feeling all of a sudden that I couldn't wait for the end of term to come in an entirely different way. Before the switch the possibility of Draco being at my house, meeting my parents, would have been so infinitesimally small that it would probably have signalled that the universe was about to implode. But now I was imagining introducing him to that side of my life – trying my dad's cooking, taking him for a walk in the woods beyond the back of our garden, his dubious looks and comments if I showed him round the dental practice. Maybe he could even come and stay over New Year.

''So they'll like me even if you tell them all the things you've found out about me?'' he asked, with the ghost of a smirk.

''Perhaps not the particulars you're thinking of'' I told him, returning his smile. ''If you ever want my dad to let you through the front door''.

Draco

''Well, this is awkward…'' Ron muttered, the tips of his ears tinging red.

For once, I was inclined to agree with him.

Our chess game lay abandoned between us. We were both sitting in armchairs in the Gryffindor common room, trying to pretend like we weren't there.

As much as I had been looking forward to the inevitable Harry Ginny showdown, now that it was happening, I felt distinctly uncomfortable. Hermione would probably say I was finally growing a conscious, but honestly it had more to do with the dangerous look on Ginny's face. I didn't want to be witness to the murder of a bespectacled moron.

I'd heard repeatedly from both of them (to the extent that I wanted to curse my own ears off) that things weren't working out, but I hadn't expected that there would be an actual showdown. Then again, this was probably my own failure of imagination – I'd experienced Ginny's fiery temper first-hand and should have anticipated Harry's complete lack of a fucking clue when it came to women.

Ginny's voice, raised in anger, drifted across to us from the other side of the room.

''Demanding? Oh that's rich! In what way am I demanding?''

''Look, maybe demanding isn't the right word…'' Harry sounded uneasy and harassed. ''I just mean you're a little bit, you know… high maintenance''.

I groaned. Jesus, did he have a death wish? It was like he had read an article on the top ten things not to say to witches and was splurting out every single one of them like a suicidal idiot. In fairness to him Ginny was literally the most high maintenance person I'd ever met, but you didn't say that to a girl. Especially one who was as proficient as she was at bat bogey hexes.

Ron let out a low whistle under his breath. ''Mate, not the right thing to say. She's going to have his balls!''

Even goddamn Weasley was bright enough to know that.

''Well thank you for the character assessment'' Ginny said, words dripping with sarcasm. She flipped her long red hair over one shoulder and placed a hand on her hip. If I was Harry I'd be running for the portrait hole right about now. No shame in a tactical exit, got to protect your junk when it's in the firing line. ''Here I was thinking we were going to have an adult conversation, but clearly you'd rather just go over each of my faults. Is there anything else you'd like to share while we're at it?''

Keep your mouth shut, I thought exasperatedly. Surely even Harry would cotton on now, unless he was utterly –

''They're not faults, Gin. It's only that you're always wanting us to spend certain times together and wear matching costumes and go on these extremely pre-planned dates, and I just don't think I'm cut out for that kind of pressure''.

What the fucking Christ was wrong with him? Next to me, Ron smacked his palm to his forehead.

Ginny's nostrils flared. ''You were hunted down by Voldemort since you were a baby and you don't think you're cut out for this kind of pressure?! Godric's testicles! What I think Harry Potter, is that you are utterly incapable of keeping up with a real woman. And don't even get me started on some of my womanly needs, which have been distinctly unaddressed!''

I knew it! With a supreme effort, I refrained from high fiving myself. I made a mental note to gloat to Hermione later, although I was somewhat disappointed that Ginny hadn't launched into all the gory details of his sexual failures.

A revolted moan slipped out of Ron's mouth.

''So yes. I agree'' Ginny continued. ''I don't think we should see each other anymore''.

''I think it's for the best, Gin, and I know you do too. But we can still stay friends can't we?'' Harry's tone was tinged with nervousness.

''Seeing as you're my brother's best friend it will be best for everyone concerned if we handle this maturely. Of course, if that's not too much stress for you''.

Turning on her heel Ginny left him staring open mouthed at her back and stalked over to us. I felt that he'd gotten off pretty lightly all things considered.

''Hermione, we're leaving'' she snapped, shooting me a meaningful look.

''Ok'' I said, bounding immediately to my feet. I figured it was best to just do whatever she told me in the current climate.

''Where are you going?'' Ron asked, shifting in his seat. ''And, err, are you ok? Everything with you and Harry will go back to normal right? Eventually''.

''I appreciate the brotherly concern Ronald, you are as tactful and emotionally attuned as ever. Hermione and I are going to a party'' she added, loud enough so that Harry would hear. ''In the dungeons''.

''What?'' Ron yelped, his knee banging into the table as he stood up and knocking half of our chess pieces over to a chorus of grumblings and protests.

I wasn't too unhappy about this. I hated to admit it but he'd been about to checkmate the hell out of me.

''You're going to a Slytherin party?'' Ron demanded, his ears beetroot now.

Ginny's lips curled up in a smirk of pure mutiny. ''I'm single. They're not all monsters despite what you think, and some of them are even quite attractive. What's the problem?''

''The problem is that they're a bunch of foul lecherous gits'' Ron spluttered. ''Mione, why in Merlin's name are you going along with this?''

''It's like Ginny said, they're not all monsters'' I echoed, grinning.

''Don't wait up'' Ginny finished sweetly, grabbing my arm and dragging me off towards the staircase. ''We're going to get dressed up to the nines and Harry will be Slytherin green with jealously'' she hissed under her breath. ''And Zabini won't know what's hit him''.

''You sure this is a good idea?'' I muttered as we headed up to her dorm. ''Blaise genuinely is a bit of a lecherous git''.

''I'm a big girl Malfoy, I can look after myself''.

''I don't doubt that. It's just you're angry now, but you might not feel the same in the morning''.

Ginny pushed open the dorm door and walked straight over to her trunk. ''What's this?'' she asked, as she began riffling through her clothes with fierce determination. ''Are you concerned for my virtue and wellbeing now?''

''Hey'' I said, putting my hands up in truce. ''If you want to shag your way through the whole of my house that's up to you. Just use a contraception charm ok? Our swimmers are champions''.

''Gross. At least I can get some though'' she shot back, pulling a startlingly short skirt from the bottom of her trunk and looking at it with satisfaction. ''You must have a serious case of blue balls''.

This was extremely close to the bone, although obviously the balls part was somewhat erroneous. I thought about waking up next to Hermione in bed this morning and how all I wanted was for that to be my every morning. Irrespective of what we'd been getting up to.

''Urgh'' I sighed, sitting down on her bed and rubbing my eyes with my palms. ''Like you wouldn't believe''.

Ginny threw a slinky red dress at my face.

''Put this on'' she instructed. ''If you can't have any sex, you might as well make all the boys delirious with desire''.

I wasn't quite sure about her logic, but the thought of Ron's face seeing Hermione in such a stunning outfit and knowing where she was off to was too damn appealing.

''I don't know if Hermione would appreciate this'' I told her.

''Hermione-schmione'' Ginny said with a flap of her hand. ''Sometimes you've just got to dress like a high-class hooker to help your girlfriend's best friend make her ex-boyfriend sick with envy and regret''.

I started shimmying out of my skirt.

Hermione

I was a nervous wreck.

There was enough smuggled alcohol in the room to fell a whole pack of mountain trolls, someone had stolen and enchanted a few of the castle's suits of armour to sing extremely rude versions of Christmas songs, and if I wasn't mistaken Crabbe and Marcus Flint were snorting lines of doxy powder off Millicent Bulstrode's stomach.

Along with the number of students from other houses who shouldn't even be here, so many school rules were being flouted that if I was acting in my official capacity as head girl (or boy), I could dock enough points to completely empty the Slytherin hour glass. As well as probably getting a few people expelled.

On top of that, a number of house elves adorned with tinsel and baubles were wandering in between the dancing crowd carrying trays of food and drinks. This kind of slave labour definitely wasn't one of the duties in their contract and I sincerely hoped they'd at least chosen their festive decorations themselves. I usually loved anything to do with Christmas, but clearly to the Slytherin's the season was simply a smoke-screen for doing some of the nefarious things they had wanted to all year round.

The room was dark and shadowy, the only light coming from the green, blue and purple flickerings of the fairies as they fluttered around the ceiling, and we'd cast a muffilato so that nobody would be able to hear the thumping music.

Blaise was in his element.

He'd bumped fists with me when I'd told him that I'd convinced ''Hermione'' to come to the party and was bringing Ginny with her, and was now moving from group to group like some sort of genial, play-boy host.

I was leaning against the wall, hoping it was a suitably aloof and Draco-esque thing to be doing, and trying to keep out of the way. From Marietta and Pansy especially, who seemed to have made it their mission in life to touch me as often as was humanly possible.

Most people were dancing, but there were a number of couples in rather compromising positions on the sofas and I'd already seen Theodore Nott leading a barely dressed Hufflepuff girl I didn't know the name of up off the staircase.

So far, the party had been just as debauched as expected.

''Draco'' came a familiar voice, and with a sinking feeling I looked up to see Cho slinking towards me with her usual predatory smile.

''Hi'' I said, with a look of disinterest. Hopefully she might get the hint that not every boy wanted to sleep with her – and definitely not this one.

Ignoring all social cues, she came up so close that she was practically pressing herself against me. She tilted her head to one side.

''I hear you've been having a bit of a dry spell. And I found myself thinking maybe there was something I could do to help rectify that''.

She trailed her fingers up and down my arm.

''I'm ok thanks'' I told her, pulling away.

A look of annoyance flickered across her face. ''Why are you being so –'' she began, but stopped as Draco appeared at my side.

I'd never been more relieved to see him in my life. He was wearing a burgundy dress that really suited my hair and complexion, and tucked in in all the right places so that it was flattering but classy. Ginny must have had something to do with it.

''Cho'' he said. ''Would you mind if I had a word with Malfoy?''

I folded my arms and waited.

Cho's head moved comically back and forth between us a few times, like she was watching a game of tennis, and eventually her eyes lit up with understanding.

''I see'' she said, her lips curling in a sneer. ''Explains a lot, she's probably saving herself for marriage. Well, I hope she's worth it Draco''.

''Wait, it's not what you –'' I called after her, but she had already slipped off into the crowd.

''Don't worry about her'' Draco said, steering me away towards the foot of the stairs. ''I'm starting to give less and less of a shit if people find out about us, it's only a few days until we're back in our own bodies anyway''.

''I don't care about Cho finding out! I care about it getting back to Harry and Ron'' I told him, chewing the inside of my cheek in agitation. Cho was a notorious gossip and if she got it into her head that Draco and I were together then the whole school would know by morning.

Hearing Ginny's laugh, I looked over to find her standing very close to Blaise in a skirt so short my dad would have called it a belt.

''Speaking of Harry, why is Ginny looking like she wants to eat Blaise whole?'' I asked.

''They broke up'' said Draco, and I was surprised that he didn't sound as gleeful about it as I might have guessed. ''It was brutal''.

Before I could ask any more questions – I hoped Harry was okay and that Ron was providing emotional support, although granted that was unlikely – Blaise had turned the music down with a flick of his wand and was spreading his arms out wide to attract everyone's attention.

''Who's up for a game of seven minutes in heaven?'' he announced.

''What are we, fifteen?'' called Daphne, but most people seemed drunk enough to think it was a good idea and there was an excited murmuring round the room.

''Every time'' Draco muttered under his breath.

With alarming speed and efficiency, Blaise orchestrated the putting of all girls' names into one glass and boys' names in another. He made a spectacle of pulling out the first two pieces of paper while Goyle did a drum roll on the arm of one of the sofas.

''Well well well'' he said, his eyes roaming round the crowd until they fell on Draco. ''First up is yours truly and none other than the Gryffindor princess, Hermione Granger''.

Beside me, I heard Draco's groan.

Catching Ginny's eye, we both tried to stifle our laughter. I could worry about Cho later.

Draco

The second the door to the cupboard closed behind us we were plunged into darkness, the music and chatter instantly muffled.

I felt Blaise take a step forwards, the heat of his body prickling against the bare skin of my arms and neck.

''So Granger' he murmured. ''What on earth are we going to occupy ourselves with in here for seven minutes?''

I grimaced, backing up slightly until my back hit the wall.

''Make small talk?'' I suggested idly.

Blaise let out a low laugh, taking another step toward me.

Oh Christ, he really was a sex pest.

I mean yes we'd kissed before in the past (one of our many strategies to attract girls) so it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but this had always been a means to an ends. Here, I was slightly concerned that Blaise was going to pull out all the stops. And as much as I was confident in my own abilities to take him even in a girl's body, with magic or otherwise, I didn't want to have to cock punch him. I wasn't unduly worried though. When it came down to it Blaise was a gentleman and wouldn't try anything if his advances were rejected.

Damn Dumbledore and his tongue-tying charm. This situation would be a hell of a lot easier if I could just tell him I was me.

''Before the time's up you'll have asked me to kiss you'' he said. I couldn't see his smirk, but I heard it.

That was my goddamn line! Make the girl weak and trembling with light touches and caresses, brushing your lips along her throat until she was begging you to kiss her. Worked like a charm.

Being this close to a guy that wasn't Hermione in my body was weird, and I was very aware more than I had been before of how small she was, nearly a head shorter than Blaise. I never wanted her to feel vulnerable around someone – although she was so skilled at non-verbal magic I had little doubt she could take care of herself. Plus I would destroy any man who got this close to her uninvited once we were back to ourselves.

''Nice line'' I told him. ''But it's not going to work''.

''It's because of Draco isn't it?'' Blaise asked, with the confidence of someone who knows he's right.

''What?''

Flirting I'd been expecting, accurate insights not so much.

''Don't bother denying it'' Blaise said, putting his hands flat against the wall on either side of my head so I was trapped between his arms.

He leaned in, his breath tickling my ear. He smelt of firewhiskey and the expensive cologne his mother had brought back for him from her honeymoon with husband number four. The man was a douche bag, blatantly only in it for the money.

''I've seen the way you look at him. And though he's been trying hard to keep it a secret, I know when something is off with him''.

My 'off' behaviour might have more to do with the fact that he was actually hanging out with Hermione but still, he'd hit the nail on the head.

I wasn't sure how to react. I couldn't tell him we'd switched, but would it really be so bad if I admitted we were together? I knew he wouldn't go round telling people and seeing as Ginny had been in on it for a while now it seemed only fair that my best friend should know too.

''You're shagging him aren't you?'' he continued.

I was silent, for the first time in my life mentally agreeing with witches the world over that shagging was a very uncouth word considering how I felt about Hermione.

''Interesting'' Blaise breathed. ''Not just shagging I take it? I can see why you're keeping it on the down low then, if you actually like each other. Not everyone will back you''.

''You won't tell anyone?'' I asked him, throwing caution to the wind. Cats seemed to be coming out of bags all over the place tonight.

''Don't worry sweetheart'' he said, pulling back. I could picture his satisfied grin. ''Your secret's safe with me''.

A/n: So it's all slowly starting to unravel… next chapter is the Yule Ball!

Please review! I'd love to know what you think about these latest chapters, given there's been such a big gap between when I wrote and published the first ones. Is the humour still working?!