Characters: Micolash Host of the Nightmare, Laurence the first Vicar, Choir Leader Yuria (OC)
Summary: Micolash tries to join the choir but blindfolding himself doesn't sit well with him at all...
(Author's note: I have some very specific headcanons about Micolash's upbringing and they are explored in this peace.
Warnings for past child abuse and panic attacks, I guess.)
"Joining the choir? Me?", Micolash said. "Are you sure about this?"
"Look, I know you have your own school.", Laurence said, taking a sip of tea. Micolash's own cup still stood untouched in front of him, but he knew that Laurence would just drink it once he was gone. He knew him long enough. "But your research and the research of the choir are similar. Besides, the choir actually managed to commune with a Great One. I don't ask you to leave your school, but I think the both of you could benefit from working together."
Micolash had to consider. It was true, the choir actually had managed to get farther with their research than the School of Mensis, actually having succeeded communicating with a Great One, Ebrietas, who spend her time in the church basement, being the main source of the holy blood. The School of Mensis instead had worked on a ritual, to summon a Great One and maybe even visit the nightmare, a place that had been at the forefront of Micolash's research.
It wouldn't hurt to try.
"Alright.", Micolash said. "I will spend a day with them and then decide."
"See.", Laurence smiled. "I knew it would be a good idea."
"Just one thing.", Micolash said, his face turning serious. "Isn't Yuria the leader of the choir? Why her? She did everything in her power to make our life in Byrgenwerth more difficult. How can you so easily trust her?"
Laurence' smile fell at once from his face and he put his tea cup down, stirring it with a spoon. Micolash found that strange, Laurence never put sugar or milk in his tea. He hated sweet things, though it wouldn't surprise Micolash if he actually had put salt in it.
"I don't.", Laurence said. "That is why I have let her established the choir. To have control over her. If she would have continued her research outside of the church, all their research and knowledge would slip my mind. Believe me, I couldn't believe it myself when she came here and proposed to establish the choir, but I very much prefer her here, where I can watch over everything she and the choir are doing."
"Just admit it, Laurence, you want me to spy on them.", Micolash said.
"Maaaybe.", Laurence said, putting the spoon down and taking another sip of the tea. "That should be all. Get a key to upper cathedral ward from Florence and tell the choir that I send you."
Micolash knew that the conversation was over. He got up, said his good bye and left Laurence' office, found Florence not far away and got equipped with a key to the upper cathedral ward. Soon he was standing in front of the current choir members and their leader, Yuria.
"Oh, if it isn't Micotrash.", Yuria taunted. "Don't tell me you want to join the choir."
Ah, the old nickname. Micolash decided to not let him get to him, he had spend ten years in Byrgenwerth having to hear it and had gotten used to it, unless Laurence who would always flip when Yuria deliberately would call him Lawrence. Or Laurie. Micolash could tell him a thousand times that she just wanted to get a reaction out of him, but it didn't work. Their arguing had become infamous in Byrgenwerth.
"Actually, I do.", Micolash said. "Lau... Vicar Laurence told me to come and spend a day with you, to help me decide if I want to join."
"Well then, if you think you have it in you to become a proud member of the choir.", Yuria said. "As much as it pains me to say it, but I know that you possess the intellect for our research. We can skip the written aptitude test then."
Micolash actually wouldn't mind having to take the test. He always liked to take tests. They made him feel as if he accomplished something. Especially when he got the best grade.
"What would be next?", Micolash asked.
"We have to see if the choir robes are looking good on you.", Yuria said. Micolash doubted that this actually was a requirement, she probably just wanted to ridicule him. He knew that he wasn't possessing the most beautiful face in the world. Especially next to Laurence, the Vicar's face could be considered handsome in several aspects.
"Let's see if we have them in your size...", Yuria said and gave one of the choir members a hand sign.
"You are even smaller than me, Yuria.", Micolash said.
"Yes, but I am a woman.", Yuria waved him aside. "You are awfully small for a man."
Micolash scrunched up his face, but didn't say anything. Weren't these robes unisex anyway? Whatever, he wouldn't do her the favour to let her get a reaction out of him. The choir member Yuria had send away, returned shortly and handed him the robe. Yuria pointed to a door which turned out to be a small bathroom, clearly he was supposed to change in there.
When Micolash stripped his Byrgenwerth uniform, he felt strange. He always had liked the fabric and the feel of these clothes, so much that he pretty much considered it unbearable to wear something else, outside of a pajama and even that needed to be a very special fabric. Micolash never knew why he was so sensitive with clothes. The choir robe wasn't easy to put on, but he managed and it didn't feel as bad as he had imagined, but it was still irritating. He wondered if he would ever get used to it if he really would join the choir. Or if he would rip off the robes one day and put his old Byrgenwerth uniform back on.
Micolash left the bathroom and Yuria turned around to look at him, lifting her cap so that she could see him.
"Well well, I am impressed, you actually managed to put it on right the first time.", she grinned. "Even though it looks a bit too big on you."
"...Has Laurence ever tried one of these on?", Micolash asked, suddenly interested why his friend still preferred to wear the black church set, even though the choir counted as the highest ranks in the church. He had his vicar robe's of course, but only would wear them for official stuff, never when he just was working in his office or roaming the streets of Yharnam.
"Oh yes, we have let him try it one.", Yuria said. "He looked stunning in it. So stunning that we decided to tell him, that it wasn't his style. We can't let him steal the show, can we?"
"...Why do I have the feeling that there is more to that?", Micolash said, trying to find any hints in Yuria's face at what she was thinking, but with her cap pulled down again, Micolash found it unable to do so.
"So, with the robes out of the way, there is only one thing left.", Yuria lifted another blindfold cup up. "You know that to commune with the Great Ones means that the descent into madness is around every corner. That is why we need more eyes... but not in a literal sense, in a metaphorical sense. We blind ourselves so that we can see."
Well, that certainly didn't make a lick of sense for Micolash. Master Willem had clearly told they needed more eyes, eyes inside their brains and Micolash had done his fair share to help him collect eyes, to unveil the mystery of the eyes, but he wouldn't complain. He accepted the cap and put it on his head, his vision going dark as soon as his eyes got covered. It made him feel... uneasy, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"Well then, now let's change the location.", Yuria said and Micolash felt how someone took his hand, if Yuria or someone else he couldn't say. He just decided to quietly follow them and see what hey had in stock. Or, erm, hear, he guessed. It was hard to see when his eyes were cover.
Micolash thought he could handle it fine, but after a minute or two, the fealing of unease suddenly turned into dread, his chest tightened and his heart seemed to pound twice as fast as usual. As he was still contemplating, if he should just run away, if Yuria had some sick and evil prank planned on him, he heard a voice... a voice he hadn't heard in years. Micolash instantly knew who that voice belonged to.
Him., he thought. Father...
Just like that, Micolash was back. Back in that cottage, back in that closet. He would always lock him away, it didn't matter what Micolash had done, it could have been something as having breathed too loudly. Micolash remembered that closet too well. It was dark and too warm and humid in the summers, dark and freezing in the winters. Whatever the season, it was always dark. Micolash could only orientate himself by touching his surroundings and mostly he remembered empty bottles and clothes. Clothes that felt uncomfortable, were too large for him and that wrapped around his head when he tried to stand up, making it even darker.
Micolash remembered sitting in that closet, shivering, sometimes begging him to let him out, often not saying anything, because he would get punished if he wasn't quiet. He would get punished for making a mess, even if he didn't had a say in it, because he couldn't leave the closet, couldn't ask to leave and he often had to spend hours in it. Or even days? Micolash didn't knew. He just knew that He often left and left Micolash alone, in that dark, tight place and he was so scared that this day He wouldn't return and Micolash would die in that closet, to never be found, because he doubted that anyone of the neighbours knew that he had a child in that cottage.
It was too much. Micolash couldn't sit through this a second longer. He ripped the blindfold cap off his hat and hurled it to the ground.
Yuria turned around at the sudden sound, a surprised "What?" slipping out of her, but Micolash just stood there violently panting.
"I.. I can't.", he blurted out. "I can't blind myself! I need to see! I don't want to be in the dark, never ever again!"
He then ran away, all the way back to the room they had started in. He was fast, he knew that, he was one of the fastest kids in Byrgenwerth, because he always had ran away from Him, hoping that He would forget about it and not hit him when he came back eventually, hoping that He had passed out in his drunken rage.
Micolash only stopped once he was at the bathroom again, shedding the choir robe and slipping in his Byrgenwerth uniform, leaving the bathroom, running past a very confused Yuria and entering his room, where he stayed for a long while, shivering and sniffling because he had to relive these memories that he tried to forget.
Later, Laurence came by, brought some tea and told him that it was fine, if he didn't want to join the choir, though he looked a tiny bit disappointed. Micolash wasn't in the mood to talk, so Laurence left shortly after.
As Micolash laid on his bed, he noticed that there was something still in his pocket. As he checked it out, he had the key to upper cathedral ward in hand.
Even if he wasn't joining the choir, Micolash decided that he would definitely keep this. It would certainly come in handy, some day.
(Author's note: Yuria is an OC I made up to be the first choir leader. She is Yurie's mother and I chose the name because it is a recurring one in Soulsborne, it felt like a given.
She actually has always bullied and pranked both Laurence and Micolash when still in Byrgenwerth. I have a few more ideas about her and the choir, but I want to save them for myself for now.
Also, I think that Micolash took the eyes a bit more literally. In the Lecture Hall we find glasses filled with eyes and he feels mad enough to try to plant eyes on his brain literally... While I think the choir tried a different approach. Judging by what the Choir achieved and what the School of Mensis achieved, I think the Choir had the right idea.
We find the key to Upper Cathedral Ward in Yahar'gul, right?! It did had to land there somehow, so I like to think that Micolash kept it and later students of his school could borrow it. That is also how they managed to abduct choir members to experiment on them.
Also, even in a story about Micolash, I can't leave out my favourite Vicar apparently...)