Chapter 19: Unlcuky

I sat at the window eating my bowl of cereal. Yeah, eating. I do a lot of that now and I keep it down. More importantly, I want to keep it down.I sat there happily watching Shippo pull into the driveway. I was doing well. Better than I ever thought I would honestly. It felt good to be healthy; to be normal. Well as close to normal as I would ever get. When I had told him I would try. I had damn sure meant every word, and that is exactly what I had been doing for the past six months. It had been a difficult journey, but here I am. I would be lying if I said that every single day wasn't a challenge, but I still managed to push through. Some days were easier than others, and then there were days that were terrible. Shippo had been a big help in that department. He was always there when I needed him. He had somehow managed convinced me to go back to school, and unfortunately, I agreed. Since I was eighteen, I was able to resign myself back into a school much closer to the house. It took a lot of work but I graduated, just by the skin of my teeth though. I'd say that our bond has grown even stronger. He trusted me enough to leave me alone at the house because he had to drive back down to the MAC for work. It made me feel good to know that he had that much trust in me. He believed in my willpower. There were times that I thought about relapsing. Every addict has their moments, but it's okay because I was a work in progress and work takes time. He saw the potential in me. He'd even started talking about college and that's when I had to tell him to slow down; baby steps. I turned my attention to the door, hearing it open.

"Well, hello there honey."

He smiled rolling his eyes. "Hello, high school graduate."

I rolled my eyes back, a smile on my face. "Yeah, yeah. So, how was your last day in hell? Ahem, I meant at work."

"The Macintosh wasn't that bad."

I made a face at him.

"Alright, maybe just a little." he'd said.

"It's fine. You're too good for that place anyway."

"A compliment from you? To what do I owe the honor?"

I shrugged. "I'm just nice like that. Especially to my future husband." I told him.

He sat opposite me, a small smile on his lips shaking his head at my earlier comment.

I could feel myself blushing. I hated how transparent my feelings were when I was around him, but at the same time, I loved it.

"Do you know how proud I am of you Kagome?"

I smiled. "I mean, you've only said it a thousand times."

"You are almost at the finish line."

I gave him a strange look. "Almost? What else is there left for me to do? I've been clean for some while now. I eat on a regular basis now, and you have me on this exercise schedule so I can keep my weight in check. I graduated and I am sort of maybe thinking about college. I'd say that I-"

"You need to see your family," he blurted out

I blinked. "I'm sorry?" I clenched my fists, taking a deep breath then unclenching them. "Don't you think that they'd be some kind of trigger for me."

He set his hand on mine. "You're strong Kagome. They are the root of the reason that you felt the way you did... mainly your mother. I don't mean to play the blame game, but they drove you to this. Confront them, and then you can begin to try and move one."

I sighed. "You know if you keep touching me like that. I'm going to assume you have feelings for me."

He chuckled. "You'll think I have feelings for you anyway."

"When a man massages a woman in a dark room, what else's should she think?"

He pulled his hand away. "Stop trying to change the subject."

I shrugged. "I'm just saying."

"Kagome."

I groaned. "Fine, but only if you come with me."

"Of course." He smiled too sweetly. "We'll be going tomorrow."

I groaned.

That was too soon.

"Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter." I repeated to myself. I was trying to remember the breathing exercises that Shippo had taught me. I was saying my mantra and trying not to dig my nails into my palms. I gnawed on my lip, anxiously waiting for him to get in the car.

Was I really up to doing this? Was I ready?

I jumped when I heard the car door slam. I could tell he knew I was unsure about all of this. The look on his face instantly gave it away. He put his hand on top of mine, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

"You can do this. After today you can make the decision. On whether you want your family to be a part of your life or not."

All I could do was stare at, swallowing the very large lump that sat in my throat.

He gave me a sad look... I didn't like it.

"Kagome... I know that sometimes I push you to do things. Only because I know that you can do it. But, if you really aren't ready to see them, then we can go back inside and forget the whole thing."

I sighed, my shoulders slumping a bit.

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah, you push me, because you know it's what I need. You know what I need to do every single time. Everything you've told me that I needed to do has been the right thing to do. So, no. I don't want to go back inside. I want to go and see my shitty family and make amends or whatever you think is going to happen in there." I told him.

He smiled nodding, putting the keys in the ignition, and revving up the engine. I stared out the window watching the scenery roll by. I wasn't sure how much of a disaster today was going to be. But one thing I did know was that even if I didn't have them. I still had Shippo, and he was my family.

Three and a half hours later, we sat outside the place that I used to live. It wasn't home. Where I lived now, with Shippo; that was home. It had only taken two hours to get here, but we were still in the car because I was too chicken shit to get out and do the deed. Shippo being the amazing person he was didn't say a word about it. He just sat there being patient as always.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"Having second thoughts?"

"No, I'm sorry because I made you sit here this long. We should go."

He gave me a smile. "C'mon."

I tiled my head to the side. "Hold my hand?" I asked sweetly.

"In your dreams Higurashi."

I laughed getting out of the car. We headed over to the front door and I dreaded every step I took. Every inch closer I came to that ugly beige door. I had found myself stuck all over again. Staring at the golden door knocker. I always hated that thing. I swallowed whatever feeling was sitting in my throat and stopped being a wuss. I knocked on the door as hard as I could. I secretly prayed that there was going to be no answer... but I wasn't that lucky. My heart was pounding in my chest, as I heard the door unlock. It was like things were moving in slow motion as the door swung open. My shoulder sank when I saw who was standing there. I was hoping for anyone. Anyone but her, but again I wasn't that lucky.

I let out a sigh. "Hello, mother."