Chapter 21

Monica

Present Day

"Deal?" I asked as I offered him my hand.

"Deal" he replied and shook my hand.

Chandler has always been a man of his word. He had honor which was very rare in the Mafia business. It had always been one of the things that attracted me towards him. Of course, his eyes, his body, his personality made a very irritable deal, but his honor was something I admired about him.

Just in the morning we found out that my former best friend and future sister in law Rachel had been kidnapped. I had come to his apartment to apologize to him about all the pain I caused him.

He was right, we were played and our love had paid the price. I hated it when he was right, especially since I loved being right. But I knew I had to come and apologize to him especially after the way he left the engagement party.

What I didn't anticipate was the kiss that we shared before everything took a turn for the worst. It was everything. I have never felt so alive, well at least for the past five years. His lips were insatiable as they pressed against my own lips as his hands touched me.

I had forgotten what it felt like to be loved by Chandler Bing and let me tell you it was one of the most addictive feelings in the word. An addiction which I had to put at bay right now because Rachel was missing.

I knew if I let Chandler touch me or even kiss me, I'd go wild and wouldn't be able to concentrate on the single most important thing at hand. We'd probably end up doing it right there on his couch. But Chandler can wait, he can wait till we find Rachel I just hope I could wait too.

I spent my entire morning and noon looking after my brother who was a mess. He usually shielded me from whatever he was feeling inside but today Ross let his guard down.

I had to get Rachel back, I had no other choice.

After meeting with Ross, I drove back to my apartment. I packed myself an overnight bag and picked up a frozen lasagna to drop off at Joey's. It was Chandler's request to make sure he was doing well and I guess food was the way to go with that guy.

I spent about thirty minutes with him before I drove back to Chandler's apartment to strategize about our mission.

I'm not sure about Chandler but I really liked the work I did in the Mafia. I was in charge of all the scheduling and strategy designing on the operations we undertook. It felt nice to revisit that part of my life.

Before I knew it, it was late and time for bed.

Chandler led me towards what I assume was his bedroom as he showed me the bathroom and left so that I could change.

Damn it! Why had I brought shorts and a tank top? Couldn't I have packed a less revealing outfit. I don't have any choice do I know? I could ask him for one of his shirts, but that would get too awkward and it was plenty of awkward between us as is.

I quickly changed out of my clothes before I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. That is when I remembered something very important.

I exited the bathroom and picked up my backpack and pulled out the chain I had brought with me. It was a simple silver chain without much details on it. but it held a very important object on it, my engagement ring.

I couldn't wear it after I… after that night, so I had put it on a chain and I wore that chain instead. I felt closer to Chandler whenever I wore the chain. In the beginning I almost never took that thing off my neck. I even slept with it. But as the days went by I would wear it only on the important days of our lives and then suddenly I just stopped wearing it. it wasn't that it no longer felt important to me, but rather I had made peace with the fact that Chandler was probably dead.

Since I ran into him at his beach house, I fished out the chain and wore it for a solid week before I took it off. In fact, I took it off before the engagement party because it didn't hide under my dress and I didn't want Ross or Rachel asking questions about it.

But now I feel like I have to give it back to him. I don't have the courage to place the ring in his palm, I'd break down before I could even give him his ring back. So, I took the cowards way out. this way he can get his ring back and it wouldn't be an emotional mess. He'd probably have something better to do with it anyway.

So, I quickly opened one of his random dresser drawers. I took the ring in my hand and kissed it one last time before I stuffed it under one of his shirts and closed the drawer.

I walked towards the door and opened it as I watched him walking into the room.

"Do you need me to leave so that you can change?" I asked as I moved to step out of the room.

"No that's alright, I'll change in the washroom" he said as he went to the closet to get out an old t-shirt along with some pants.

Wait! What side do I sleep on? I cannot sleep on the right side if he sleeps on that side, but what if I sleep on the left side and that's the side he likes because when we were together, he would sleep on that side of the bed. Or rather I liked sleeping on the right side so I made him sleep on the left.

Before he could go to the bathroom, I stopped him.

"Umm… what side of the bed do you sleep in?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter. Oh right! You like sleeping on the right side. I guess you can have that side" he said as he went to the washroom.

Why did he still remember that I liked to sleep on the right side, I almost smiled at that one. Chandler wasn't the type of guy who was outwardly romantic, he did small things but significant things that showed that he really cared. I guess this was one of them.

I quickly got under the covers and turned on the bedside lamp before I fished out my phone to tell Ross that I'm in my apartment and I'll be busy with the restaurant tomorrow.

I heard Chandler coming out of the bathroom and getting under the covers. I could feel his body heat radiating off of him. I almost wished that he would wrap his arms around me and fall asleep, just like we usually did.

But I doubt he'd do that. I turned my head to look at him. He was facing away from me and was snuggling against his pillow. I used to be that pillow. But I guess I'm not any more.

About one week ago

I have to say, I had fun.

Yes, after I got over the initial shock of learning that Chandler is one of Rachel's brothers the beach was actually fun. The booze was fun and of course the water felt amazing. But I have to say the engagement was not fun.

I don't know why but I was a little freaked out. I don't want to see Chandler ever again. Ross proposing to Rachel meant that I'd have to see Chandler at least once every year. Oh no! I'd have to spend time with him till the wedding was over.

Why! Why did I have to go through all of that?

Right now, Ross and Chandler were stuffing the car with our luggage. Rachel had decided to go some shopping so they were taking care of that. I was sitting here with Joey as he talked about… something. I wasn't really paying much attention to him.

"We're done Monica, let's go" Ross said, dragging me out of my thoughts.

Joey followed me outside as I saw Rachel hugging Chandler and Ross patting Joey on the back before he too went in for a hug. Oh no! I was next, chandler looked at me before we walked towards me.

"It was nice meeting you" he said as he leaned in to hug me. We fit perfectly against each other. God! I missed his hug. I felt him leaning towards me as I felt his face against mine "again" he whispered so that I was the only one who heard it before he broke the hug.

Present day

I felt the bed shake before I woke up and saw what caused it. Chandler was sitting up in bed panting, trying to get his breathing under control. I shot up from bed and knelt towards him. I put one of my hands on the nape of his head and the other to turn his face towards me.

"Are you okay? What happened?" I asked as I stroked his hair.

It always calmed him when I did that, I just hope it still worked. His hair was wet from sweat. I was really starting to get worried about him.

Chandler suddenly leaned forward and hugged me tightly. His arms went around me as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. The front of his shirt was wet as well and from the feel of it, so was his back.

Did Chandler have a nightmare? Was that it? But I didn't ask him anything. I silently stroked his hair and let him hold onto me. If he wants to tell me, he would. But if right now, he wanted to be hugged by someone, I'd gladly be that someone.

We stayed in that position for a while until Chandler pulled away from the hug. I knelt over him to grab the bottle of water on his side of the bed before I opened it and gave it to him. He nearly chugged half the bottle before he handed the bottle back to me.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that" he said as he looked at me.

"It's okay," I said as I put the bottle back.

I watched him as he laid back on the bed before he closed his eyes.

"No no no, your shirt is thoroughly soaked you need to change" I said.

But he made no efforts in getting up. So, I nudged his arm and pulled him up.

"Monica, it's fine. I'm used to it" he said.

"Used to what? How often have you been having nightmares?" I asked.

"Umm, I get them… sometimes" he replied but I knew he was lying.

"Come on Chandler please get rid of your shirt. You'll catch a cold" I said.

He finally listened to me. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. There was still sweat on his neck. I watch him search in the dark for something. His eyes looked around until they finally settled for something.

I looked in the direction he was looking at, his laundry hamper.

"No wait, give me your shirt" I asked as he rolled up the hit and handed me the bottom part of his shirt that had no sweat on it.

I used it and quickly wiped his neck and face and his head the best I could. his hair was still wet but that's the best I could right now. I quickly wiped his chest and back before I handed the short back to him.

He looked at me like he wasn't sure what to do with the shirt but then I pointed towards his hamper. I thought Chandler would get out of bed to put this shirt in the hamper. But no, I was wrong. He flung his short from the bed and I watched as his shirt flew and hit the wall before it went into the hamper.

"I don't feel like getting out of bed to grab another shirt, do you mind if I sleep like this?" he asked.

He looked very sleepy and really adorable. Of course, I didn't mine. I appreciate that he chose to wear a shirt to bed for my sake but I didn't want him to be more uncomfortable especially after the night he has been having.

Wait a minute, had I caused his nightmare? Was sleeping with me the reason he woke up so violently?

I looked at the clock on his bedside table. It was way too late.

"No, I don't mind," I said as I watched him lying back on the bed before he closed his eyes.

I have so many questions on my mind, but right now was not the right time to ask them.

So, I too did the same and hoped that tomorrow would come as soon as possible.

A/N: I know, I know. No new plot points were revealed but I really wanted Monica to see how vulnerable Chandler was or had become.