Chapter 21

'It's been seven days since I proposed, you know." Elena half smiled, flipping on her side as Damon's palm rested on her waist. "I'm starting to think that you're going to turn me down?"

"I've been a little preoccupied…" He smirked, pulling Elena against him and lacing her lips with a kiss.

That's all they did for the past week; kiss, laugh, make love and sometimes pull away from each other for long enough to eat something. It was like a race against time, trying to make up for all the days that they spent heart broken.

Now that they made their way back to each other, it was too hard to keep away. Their relationship needed a time out; a break from all the heartache and drama. Not discussing any of their issues seemed to do the trick. But it didn't magically erase the fact that Elena had basically proposed to Damon, and it did begin to feel like he was avoiding the subject all together.

At first, Damon was overwhelmed with everything happening in such a small timeframe. When Elena left him, he ended up with a lot of time to think things over - and he was adamant that they wouldn't be able to reconcile. Not because his love for her wasn't there, but because for the first time in his life he felt that maybe love just wasn't enough.

Elena had so many struggles and fears of her own that she was yet to tackle, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't fix anything for her. It took him time to understand that Elena needed to find that courage and strength to battle those demons by herself. He couldn't act as a band aid, a temporary fix for the underlying pain; sooner or later it would resurface, and by then the wound could be too deep to treat.

Then all went to hell when she stood at his door, pleading with him; promising a future that he so desperately wanted to have with her. Of course, it took him by surprise, they had never spoken of marriage. But did he want it? More than anything. But this wasn't about him, it was about Elena and she just wasn't ready for it.

"Damon, stop trying to distract me. I'm being serious." She giggled, shifting in his arms and silencing his lips with a finger. "I want us to be together for real, so tell me: do you want us to get married or not?"

She sounded nervous asking the question, as she carefully studied his reaction, digging for an answer.

"I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Elena." He conceded, brushing away a strand of her hair. "I just don't think that you really thought this through."

"What do you mean?" A few lines of concentration appeared on her forehead along with the question. "I had all the time in the world to think about how miserable I was without you, and I don't want us to be separate ever again."

"Neither do I, baby." He spoke softly, looking into her eyes with awe. "And I want you to be my wife more than anything. But you only said that because you were scared of losing me."

Elena frowned, frustrated at the detachment that she sensed from him. But she had it coming, it was a given that he would take her words with a pinch of salt.

"I was dumb enough to let you go the first time, and I want you to know how much I love you. And marrying you is the best way to show you that I'm serious about us."

"We should get married because we want to, not because we need to prove something to each other."

Elena stilled for a moment, feeling both hurt and confused. Was it the rejection? Partially, she didn't expect to be turned down by Damon, after all he gave them another chance.

The idea of marriage and long-term commitment terrified her for the longest time, it often sent her over the edge and caused her to make irrational decisions. But when she finally wrapped her head around the fact that it didn't matter where she was or what she was doing in life, if Damon wasn't right by her side - then all the puzzles fell into place.

Everything was so colourless, tasteless and simply pointless without Damon. He uncovered all the parts of herself that she'd long forgotten existed and made her feel glad that she was alive. And in all this, she liked to think that she did the same thing for him.

Once that became obvious, what else was there to pond over? The sooner they started their life together, the better. She couldn't leave this to chance, because that's what screwed things up so many times before. Life had provided her with the perfect opportunity to make that one final decision about her love life; one that would prove to be the best she'd ever make.

"So, why did you take me back if you didn't think that I was being serious?" She asked quietly, resting on her elbow.

"I knew that you meant every word. "You're not the type of person to say something and not come through, that was enough for me." He admitted, taking her hand into his in a comforting manner.

"I don't understand."

He swallowed, feeling uneasy. He was still somewhat afraid of approaching the weaknesses of their relationship, after all they'd barely managed to patch things up.

"I know now that you love me as much as I love you, and that's all that I needed to know." He countered, picking each word carefully. "But I think that before we decide to get married, there's a couple of other things that we should address first."

Elena visibly stiffened at the last remark, dropping her gaze to their intertwined hands. She knew this was a hurdle that they had to face eventually.

"I know, I haven't forgotten." Her tone was laced with worry. "I'm going to start seeing my therapist again. I started attending sessions back when I lost my baby and left Elijah, but I never got around to finishing the process. I guess I felt a little better with time and assumed that I didn't need the help anymore." She scoffed at the statement, now that she knew how wrong of an assumption that was.

"I thought about it, and it's not that I don't want a baby with you… I'm just terrified after what happened the last time. I can't help but think it will happen again, and it will ruin us both."

Damon listened to her in silence, watching her open up in a way that she never did before. Knowing how difficult it was for her to expose those feelings, it made him feel proud. This was a good sign, she was taking active steps towards recovery, and he'd be there every step of the way to make it easier.

"But I can't let those fears stop me from living, like I did for the last few years. I need to move on from all the hurt, and that way I think that we could build something beautiful together…" Elena finally looked up into his eyes, in search of some approval or agreement that they were on the same page.

There weren't enough words to describe just how scared she was of facing the past trauma and discussing her biggest fears with a total stranger, but she wanted to go back to be her old self - the Elena that wasn't crippled by anxiety. It just angered her to know how much time she'd wasted by pretending that she was perfectly fine.

"I think that's a great idea, Lena. There's nothing more that I want than for you to be happy."

"You make me happy." She murmured.

"I know, but I also want you to be happy and at peace with yourself." His lips curled into a smile, and he was able to relax as a sense of relief finally washed over him.

Truthfully, it didn't matter if they ever had children. He loved Elena no matter what; but knowing that she would consider the possibility of being the mother of his children was something that made him feel immensely proud.

"Me too." She added with a light-hearted expression, pecking his lips. "So, we're good?"

"Very good." He pulled her in for a proper kiss, missing the warmth of her body pressed against him.

"So, we're officially not engaged, huh?" Elena giggled as Damon's lips trailed a path down her neck.

"For now," He mumbled breathlessly. "You're still mine."

The prickly beard tickled as he moved further down her heaving chest.

"Mm, I'll have you know that there are plenty of men who wouldn't dream of turning my proposal down." She remarked jokingly, trying to muffle down the on-coming laughter.

Damon ministrations halted, his predatory stare narrowing in on Elena. "They can keep on wishing, cause I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"And I'm not mad about that."

4 Months Later

They walked in hand in hand, and this time Damon accompanied her inside. The appointment had been scheduled in advance, and it had them both feeling nervous, as they anticipated the outcome and what it would mean for them.

Damon sat on a stool right next to Elena and she was still tightly gripping onto his hand, nervously observing the monitor in front of them. This would finally be the moment of truth.

It was yet another case of deja-vu, and so was an afternoon from a couple of days ago, when she took another pregnancy test that ended up being positive. Just like she thought it would.

Elena remembered the sensation of the warm blood gushing through her veins and the pulse racing in her ears. Yeah, concluding that she was nervous would have been a hell of an understatement. She found herself engulfed by worry, so much that it had paralysed her, as she sat on the edge of the tub.

The signs were there once again; she had awful nausea, fatigue and her period failed to make an appearance. So, she had to take a pregnancy test; only this time it didn't seem so bad. They weren't trying to conceive, they were always trying to stay safe, yet somehow, they still ended up here. Maybe it was just meant to be.

Did she feel like crying? Screaming? No, it wasn't like that. She was terrified of the process and how much it would change in their life; but she wasn't scared of having the baby. After defeating all the odds, she was still blessed with the opportunity of carrying the child of the man that she loved. And something inside of her flooded with warmth at the thought.

And here they were today; at the doctor's office, about to witness the final proof that they really were going to become parents.

"Here it is." Dr Fell announced happily, pointing to a fuzzy dot on the screen. "It looks like you're only 8 weeks along, so I'm not able to tell you a lot at this stage. But there's definitely a baby growing in your belly."

Elena's breath hitched in her throat, and her brown orbs filled up with tears. It was all overwhelming, but not in a bad way. She felt glad that Damon was right there with her, giving her the courage that she needed. Their eyes locked in a shy gaze; a shadow of worry was evident across Damon's face.

She smiled at him through the tears, giving his hand a squeeze, a sign to let him know that she was okay with the news. They could do this together.

"Is it healthy?" She asked as their eyes were now glued to the monitor.

"Yes, everything is okay with the baby." Dr fell confirmed in a comforting tone. "It's only around 51 inches, but at this stage of the pregnancy it will grow rapidly. We can try and listen to the heartbeat, if you'd like to?"

They both nodded in a daze, lost for words.

A few seconds later they were able to hear a very faint heartbeat, thudding quietly but vigorously. The entire experience felt surreal, as the life they created was right there in front of them, and it had so much will to live.

"Now as I said everything is fine with the baby, but I do need to let you know that due to your medical history, this pregnancy will be classified as high-risk."

"What does that mean for Elena?" Damon followed up clearly worried by the prospect.

"Well, there's a couple of things that you'll need to be more weary of and we will have to keep a closer eye on the baby's progress, which means more frequent appointments and some additional tests that will be carried out at a later stage." The doctor explained in a calm manner, as she passed Damon some brochures.

"It's worth having a look through those to get a basic understanding of what that will entail. But most importantly, high levels of stress need to be avoided. And we'll need to monitor your weight, Elena - I know we're still at the very early stages, but your weight gain hasn't been very significant and I'm guessing that's due to the persistent nausea."

The level of information intimidated them both at first; there was much to look out for, so much to process. Were they ready for it? Was this the best time? Probably not. But could you ever be prepared for a revelation like that?

Well, their relationship was much more stable now. They spent the last few months just focusing on each other, making one another happy and life was great. And then they were faced with the same obstacle, but somehow it all just seemed easier.

"Are you okay? You haven't said much since we left." Damon prodded nervously, still awaiting a moment of panic or some sort of a reaction that would tell him how she felt about this.

It was just as much of a surprise for him, but honestly, everything in him told him that this was a good thing.

"Yeah, I'm good." Elena nodded, looking up at him. "I'm terrified, but I'm also good. And I want you to stop holding everything in, Damon."

"What do you mean?"

She smiled softly, tying both arms around his neck. "You don't have to hide your excitement. I know that you're happy, and so am I. It's just a little harder for me to show it but give it time."

"Are you sure?" He wrapped his arms around her waist, gently, as he was suddenly much wearier of his movements.

"Of course. You're going to be a dad, isn't that amazing?" She nuzzled her nose against his, smiling.

"It is, but only because I get to do this with you, Elena." Their foreheads leaned against each other. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She climbed up on her tiptoes, connecting their lips in a passionate kiss.