In Essence: Undivided

by Velvethopefics

The sequel to 17, Clumsy & Shy. Harry begins his final year as he and Ginny embark on a new relationship filled with danger, mystery and plenty of Voldemort shenanigans to keep them hopping. New friends and new bonds are made, and some old friends are lost. Started pre-HBP and now, finally, after many years, it will indeed be finished.

19. Letting Go

19: Letting Go

"What else can you remember?" Dumbledore asked Ginny, and she frowned in concentration.

She and Harry, along with Brogan and Professor Snape (who had been invited along for reasons she couldn't quite figure out yet), were in the headmaster's office, talking about the events of the last few days. She hadn't said anything yet about her brother, not even to Harry. She glanced around the room and saw Brogan watching her. He gave her a small smile of encouragement.

"Not much," Ginny heard herself say. She looked apologetically at everyone. "They kept me unconscious until Tom was ready to...test me."

Harry stirred and squeezed her hand. She had seen Professor Snape glance at Dumbledore when they'd come in and sat so close together, but she really didn't care if Snape disapproved or not. Since she and Harry had not given in to their need to make love, it seemed she had an almost physical compulsion now to keep touching him and vice versa, even more so than usual. She again wondered if it was as Harry had suggested; if it was because of what Brogan had done to connect them.

"Did you see who held you captive before Tom arrived?" Dumbledore asked, his voice invading her thoughts. Ginny bit her lip and gave a slight nod.

"Yes."

When she didn't continue, Dumbledore leaned forward over his desk and gave her a patient look. "We can talk about that part later if you'd like."

Ginny frowned and shook her head. "No, it's..." She paused and glanced at Harry, who gave her a questioning look. She glanced back at Dumbledore. "It was Lucius Malfoy and...Wormtail, I think, and...my brother, Percy."

Ginny expected a reaction from Harry, but he only looked sadly at her, squeezing her hand once again. She gazed at him, puzzled, and then realized he had known about Percy. He had known and not told her. Before she could get angry, Dumbledore spoke.

"Harry did not tell you about Percy because I asked him not to. At the time he became aware of your brother's...involvement, you were still accepting the death of Charlie."

"Gin, I...I didn't have the heart to tell you what I had seen...when...when I was in Voldemort's head. I'm sorry," Harry said quietly.

Ginny sighed. She couldn't seem to get enough energy mustered up to be angry or even think she had a right to be. She knew she'd been in no state of mind before to deal with the problem of Percy. She looked at Harry.

"It's okay, Harry."

He smiled and tightened his fingers around hers. "I'm sorry," he said again, and she knew he really meant it.

"Did you mention anything to Voldemort about Aine and your protection?" Dumbledore asked, seemingly very determined to question her and not linger too long on anything.

"No, but he knew something was different about me. But he didn't mention Aine at all. I wasn't about to tell him, either."

Dumbledore smiled at her. "You've done very well, Ginny. Remarkably well - both you and Harry have been very patient with answering our questions this evening. But I can tell you are tired, so I will not bother you with any more discussion tonight. I would, however, like to continue speaking with Harry for a little while longer, if you can spare him?"

Ginny knew that was her cue to leave and glanced at Harry, who nodded at her. He had a determined glint in his eyes that she was beginning to recognize. He wanted to talk to Dumbledore alone. She slipped her hand away from Harry's and stood up, looking at Brogan, not sure if he would understand she wanted to do some talking of her own. Dumbledore again spoke up, seemingly able to tell what she wanted.

"I believe Mr Caley missed dinner earlier; perhaps the two of you could bother the house-elves into making you a late snack?"

Brogan nodded, glancing at the headmaster before looking at her. She gave him a half-smile and then looked at Harry. "Anything you want me to save you?"

Harry shrugged. "A sandwich or something would be okay. I won't be long."

Ginny nodded and turned to leave, feeling Brogan behind her. They waited in silence as the staircase moved them back to the second floor and then came out the entrance. Brogan smiled at her.

"Kitchens?"

"Yeah," Ginny said, suddenly realizing she was quite hungry.

They walked in silence for a short while, and then Brogan cleared his throat. "Look, Ginny, I have to apologize to you about something and...actually, I should wait until Harry is here too, but...Sioda wrote to me a while ago and well, she didn't tell me what exactly she was up to, but she did...allude to it, and I feel completely responsible for what happened to you, because I didn't believe her, and I didn't do anything about it."

Ginny stopped and looked at him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Brogan's skin turned pink, and he seemed deeply embarrassed. "Because I'm obviously not very bright. Look, I thought...I thought she was just trying to goad me into telling her things or to make contact with her. I thought she was round the twist, actually, and...I shouldn't have underestimated her ability to play dirty. I feel horrible. If I had said something then, when I'd received the letter, what happened might not have happened and...we could have been prepared. But please, believe me - I never meant for anything to happen to you."

Ginny stared at him and then looked away, again feeling utterly devoid of any emotional reaction. She finally sighed and shrugged. She continued walking, and Brogan kept up with her, not saying anything. When they reached the portrait of the bowl of fruit, she stopped him before he could tickle the pear.

"It wasn't your fault; it would have happened anyway. Voldemort wanted to test me, and he wanted to get at Harry. He would have found another way, with or without Sioda. Besides, you're one of the reasons the Death Eater's didn't do more harm in the village, from what I've heard, so I can't really get angry with you."

"Why do I feel as though you're letting me off really easily?" Brogan said, his brow furrowing.

Ginny shrugged. "Probably because I am. But you're going to be the one to tell Harry about this, not me. I'm not letting you off that easy."

"Great," Brogan muttered. Ginny nodded at the portrait, and he reached up, tickling the pear. It swung open, and they made their way to the kitchens. Ginny hoped eating would help her feel better.

The elves were, of course, very obliging to them, and they ate quickly at one of the tables. Ginny had Dobby prepare a ham sandwich for Harry to eat later. She sighed, and Brogan looked at her.

"You seem out of sorts a bit tonight. I reckon you have a right to, after everything that's happened, but...it feels different," he said, studying her.

Ginny shrugged. "It's just personal things." She paused and then decided to ask him if he were feeling any effects after what had happened with Harry. "How are you feeling, exactly?"

Brogan shrugged as he finished off the last of his chipolata. He caught her expression and then blushed faintly. "You mean because of the three of us connecting again, right?"

Ginny nodded.

Brogan sighed. "Well, to be truthful, I didn't need to do as much this time. Harry truly reacted on his own; he only needed a slight push to find you. Mostly, I just felt a bit wiped out. But, I do feel a bit...anxious, yeah. It's faded a bit, but not by much. You two seem very..." Brogan let his voice runoff, looking away from her.

"We had some things to talk about first," Ginny said quietly. "But yes, we both felt very keen. Like before."

"That's probably just the spell then," Brogan said as one of the house-elves offered them chocolate cake. Ginny shook her head and stood up to leave. She and Brogan made their way back out to the Great Hall. She realized most of the castle was already tucked away into their common rooms, the hour had grown quite late. She hoped Harry was done talking with Dumbledore; she wanted to see him before he had to go back to his room for the night.

"So how did it go with Tonks?" Ginny asked as they reached the third floor.

Brogan smiled ruefully. "It was okay. I liked having someone my age to talk to; I admit that. But...well, as far as first dates go, leaping up in the middle of it and getting the jump on a few Death Eaters has got to be one of the strangest ways to show a girl a good time."

Ginny smiled. "Ah, but Tonks is an Auror; she loved the excitement, I'm certain."

Brogan nodded. "Perhaps. We'll see if she decides to ever visit again. Well, guess this is goodnight." He turned to go, and Ginny stopped him, putting her hand on his arm.

"Thank you for yelling at Sioda; I heard you gave her quite an earful."

Brogan shrugged. "It was nothing, really. And it probably didn't do any good, although I know I felt loads better after having done it."

"And thank you for helping Harry and me," Ginny said, leaning in closer to him. She kissed his cheek briefly, not exactly sure what compelled her to do so, but she felt like repaying his kindness. Brogan blushed and looked away from her.

"You're welcome," he said quietly.

"Whatever you did in the hospital wing really helped me," Ginny persisted, pulling away, knowing he was uncomfortable.

Brogan turned and looked at her, his expression unreadable. "It was...the right thing to do. I don't like seeing either of you in pain. I wish I could help the two of you more, actually. But I have a feeling Harry wouldn't really like that."

Ginny shrugged. "Harry's fine. I think he's...he's got used to you now."

"Yes, and he knows he has absolutely nothing to worry about."

Ginny nodded because it was true. "Yes, I think he's finally got that through his head." Ginny paused, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. "Well, goodnight then."

Brogan offered her another guarded look and then smiled faintly. "Goodnight, Ginny."

o-o-o-o-o

"I want to be certain something like this doesn't happen again," Harry said, his voice low. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye as Snape bristled once more at the tone in his voice, but Harry didn't care. He still felt angry with Dumbledore - more so than he had in a long time. The feelings felt heavy inside of him, as though they had somehow taken on weight. Dumbledore studied him.

"I will do everything in my power to make certain that Ginny is not harmed again, Harry," Dumbledore said quietly.

"I hear a 'however' in your voice," Harry said stubbornly, frowning. "You can't do a damn thing, can you?" Snape again shifted, his robes making a noise as he moved. This time the other man spoke.

"Headmaster, you should not allow him to speak to you in such a manner -"

Dumbledore gave a slight wave of his hand at Snape, silencing him. He turned back to Harry. "You are correct, Harry. I cannot protect her outside of these walls. The spells around Hogsmeade have been reinforced, but I doubt you trust that to be a sufficient answer. I also doubt that Ginny would enjoy being kept inside for the rest of the year."

"I'm not going to let Voldemort use her or her family to get to me. Never again. By any means," Harry said determinedly.

"What are you suggesting, Harry?" Dumbledore finally asked, giving him a knowing look.

Harry sighed. When he had considered his options earlier, as Ginny had slept next to him, it had seemed the best answer to everything. But saying it out loud, asking for it to happen...he didn't know if he had the strength. The pain of being without her was too strong inside of him.

"Send her back to the abbey," Harry said quietly, meeting Dumbledore's gaze.

The old man sat back and studied him. "This will be painful for you."

Harry nodded. "But it would be more painful if something happened to her and I wasn't able to get her back. I'd rather she's alive somewhere than captured or tortured or hexed off her broom by someone who should have been kept in check." Harry let his voice drop as he said the last one, this time turning to see Snape's face. The Potions Master narrowed his eyes.

"Have you discussed this with Ginny, Harry? She may not want to go."

Harry turned back to Dumbledore. "She'll go if I ask her." Harry hoped he sounded confident enough because he knew Ginny was going to fight him with every ounce in her being.

"Have you considered that the spell I evoked will make this separation extremely hard for you both to bear?"

"I'll have to be able to visit her eventually. And I'd rather she stay in one place, rather than coming back here," Harry said. He frowned as he considered their options. "We can go three to four days without being...physical, but...that's only based on us still being able to at least touch each other and be around each other. I don't know exactly how...intense it would be if she weren't around at all, but...I'm willing to try it. To keep her out of harm's way."

"Perhaps Mr Potter's newfound talent for turning things into Portkeys will come in handy to help him satisfy himself."

Snape's voice was like venom against Harry's skin, and he turned to the other man, feeling the anger he'd been trying to keep in check break open inside of him finally.

"If you had better control over Draco Malfoy and could actually keep proper tabs on his father, none of this would have happened at all."

Snape sneered at him. "And if you had better control over your lustful desires, then Miss Weasley would be useless to Voldemort. You have made her a target by allowing yourself to be weak, and you have shown him what she means to you. As always, you have been a selfish brat, and so very like your father."

Harry stood up and was in front of Snape before the other man could react. "My father may not have been perfect, but he sacrificed more than you will ever know, you despicable, contemptible man. Perhaps if someone had ever actually loved you, you'd know -"

Harry fell back in surprise as Snape pushed him, and Dumbledore stood up, coming in between them just as quickly as Harry had moved a moment before. Harry narrowed his eyes and moved his hand without thinking, focusing his anger on the man who had always seemed intent on pushing his buttons; Snape flew back against the wall as the spell hit him, square in the chest.

"Harry! Enough!" Dumbledore's voice was loud and barely restrained. Harry felt something push against him and was dizzy, suddenly, as the air in the room seemed to crackle around him. He realized Dumbledore had used his own wandless magic on him. He forced himself to stand up as Dumbledore turned to tend to Snape.

"He deserved it," Harry said roughly, not recognizing the voice that came out of his mouth as his own. He felt his anger pushing through him and closed his hand into a fist at his side. He shook his head and briefly closed his eyes. When he had opened them again, Dumbledore had turned and was watching him, his eyes narrowed.

"I think you should go now, Harry. Get your emotions in order. I will speak with you and Ginny tomorrow about her leaving Hogwarts."

Harry took in a deep breath, trying to calm down. The intake of air seemed to have a calming effect. He felt his head nod, and he looked down at Professor Snape, suddenly shocked at what had happened.

"Professor Dumbledore...I..." Harry paused as his anger then left him as suddenly as it had come.

"Now, Harry."

Dumbledore seemed to be trying to tell him something, but Harry couldn't figure out what it was, so he left, heading down the stairs. He paused as he exited the office, leaning back against the wall, his head feeling as though he'd been spinning.

I just stunned Snape, he thought to himself, wondering what on earth had just happened.

o-o-o-o-o

Ginny opened the door in her dressing gown, her hair pulled back. Harry entered and closed the door quickly behind him.

"Harry?"

He shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment, finally feeling like himself again. He opened his eyes and held out his hand. She came to him, concern on her face.

"You look upset," she said softly, her hand brushing against his cheek.

His response died on his lips as he leaned forward and kissed her suddenly, crushing her against him. She made a 'hmm' noise in her throat as Harry let his hands roam over her, gripping her tightly. Before he knew what he was doing, he lifted her off her feet, so that he could carry her to the bed. She pulled her mouth away from his and looked at him.

"You're not going to chuck me into the bathtub again, are you?"

Harry paused, blinking at her and then chuckled as he sat her down on the bed, shaking his head. "No, I have better plans for you than that."

"I brought you a sandwich for dinner," Ginny said, as he pushed her gently back on the bed.

"I'll eat later," he said simply, the idea of food the farthest thing from his mind.

He leaned over her, and her hand stopped him, resting on his chest. "Harry, what's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing that won't keep. Let me just..." He paused as his hands and eyes moved down the front of her gown. He looked back at her face. "Let me love you right now, and...let's both forget about the rest of the world."

Her expression was worried, and Harry knew that wouldn't do at all, so he kissed her again as his hands undid the tie around her waist, finding her completely naked underneath. He pulled away and let his eyes travel over her, feeling his body respond.

"I was about to take a bath," Ginny said as she followed his gaze.

"Later," Harry said needlessly, kissing her again. He felt her arms work their way around his neck, drawing him down to her. Harry finally forced himself to pull away and smiled at her. "This is just going to be about you this time."

She started to disagree with him as her hands pulled at his jumper, but he shook his head. He pushed her back further on the bed and moved his hands under the dressing gown, drifting slowly up her legs. He met her eyes.

"It's what I want, Gin," he said softly. He removed his glasses and lowered his head down to hers. He brought his hands up and cupped her face as he kissed her again. She moved one hand to his head, and he felt her fingers working through his hair. He lowered his hands from her face and moved them down towards her breasts, teasing her until both nipples responded, hardening under his thumb. He pulled his mouth away and kissed his way along the side of her face, feeling something warm and loving travel through him, pushing all remnants of his anger and doubt away. Ginny sighed and moved her head to the side as he licked his way to her ear.

"I love you so much," he whispered, pulling back to look at her. Her eyes were full and dark, her skin still pale. The faint blush of the freckles that ran across her nose made him smile, suddenly. He kissed her before she could respond and continued caressing her body with his hands, moving them down and then back up. He lowered his mouth to the hollow of her throat, drinking in the sweet, salty taste of her skin.

"Harry, I -"

"Shh," Harry said, looking up at her. "Just lie back."

He didn't bother to see if she accepted his command; he moved his mouth to her left breast, his tongue moving of its own accord as it tenderly licked at the small batch of freckles there. His mouth closed over her, and she shuddered slightly underneath him as he allowed his hands to move past her chest for the first time, brushing over the softness of her stomach. Harry kissed the supple fullness of her breast as his hand brushed against the coarse, yet fine hair of her sex, and he felt her legs open wider for him. But he didn't move his hand any lower, teasing her instead by turning his attention to her right breast, sucking slowly on the underside before moving his mouth over her.

Ginny's breath quickened, and he felt her trying to shift, so that the hand he had placed against her would slip in between her legs. He smiled and looked at her, moving his head up to kiss her lips. She relaxed as he deepened the kiss, and her arms wrapped around his neck again. He finally pulled away and looked down at her, loving the flush of her desire as her skin went from white to pink.

"Turn over, Gin," he said softly. "And take that bloody dressing gown off." He pulled back so she could move.

She looked at him for a moment and then nodded, sitting up slightly to remove the gown that was already half-off her. She turned over onto her stomach, and Harry found his glasses, slipping them on to look at her. His body tightened as he gazed at the swell of her backside, and for a moment he was tempted to simply remove his clothes and enter her, bringing them both to completion. He shook his head to clear it and removed his glasses again, leaning over her. She made a sighing noise and turned her head.

"Your clothes are rough, Harry. Are you certain you won't lose them?" she asked playfully, and he smiled. He pushed her hair out of the way and kissed the back of her neck. He moved his hands down her back, spreading out towards the sides, caressing her breasts and then traveling to her hips, marveling at the tender softness and curve of her body. He kissed his way down her, moving slowly until he reached the small of her back. His hands moved lower, cupping her arse, and he pushed her legs apart slightly. He kissed his way down, breathing in the heady scent of her body.

"Gin, can you lift yourself up for a moment?" he asked, feeling breathless. She shifted forward, and then she raised herself off of the bed so that she was on her hands and knees. He licked his lips and then moved forward, his tongue finding her cool to the touch. But her body soon responded, and he felt the warmth of her passion as he swirled his tongue upwards, over her center. He pulled back and then turned over so that he was underneath her and moved his hands up around her backside as his mouth found its home again. She shuddered and moaned as he sucked her center into his mouth, and he tasted her sweetness as her body grew damp with desire.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, sounding surprised as his hands gripped her tightly, pulling her entirely down onto his face. He let his fingers explore other parts of her like she had started doing to him whenever she put her mouth on him. He felt her shake, and she began to rock back and forth over him, moaning softly.

"Oh, god, oh, Harry...right...there...oh...that feels good..." Her voice was full of need, a low grunt escaping her lips as he felt her body tense under his mouth. She gasped as she came, moving upwards slightly. Harry held her tightly in his hands and swirled his tongue over her, loving the taste of her. His own desire throbbed painfully between his legs, and he finally pulled away, releasing her. She moved forward, off of him, breathing heavily. He turned and squinted up at her. He slid upwards so that he was lying next to her.

"Oh, no, you don't; I'm not done with you yet," he said softly, already moving his hand in between her legs. Her eyes flickered open, and she gazed at him.

"You're trying to kill me with pleasure then?" she said, her voice sounding awed. Harry merely grinned and slipped his fingers inside of her. She moaned and closed her eyes again. Harry kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around him as his legs fitted in between hers.

"Oh, Harry," she said as they broke apart. "Your skin, please, love...I want to feel it next to mine."

"This is only about satisfying you," he said stubbornly, and she groaned, clearly frustrated as her hands tried to grab at his clothes.

"But feeling you is satisfying to me, Harry. Goodness, I want to touch you. Please?"

Harry pulled back and looked at her and then finally nodded. He rolled away and quickly pulled his jumper over his head. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks and then shimmied rather awkwardly out of his jeans. When Ginny's hand tugged on his boxers, he took her hand away.

"Not yet," he said.

"But you want it, I can tell...I can...feel it," Ginny said as her hand drifted over his arousal, and Harry sucked in a breath, closing his eyes.

"What I want is to taste you again," he said as he looked at her, moving closer to her.

"Again? But you just...oh, goodness," Ginny's voice came out breathless as he moved quickly down her body, hooking one of her legs over his shoulder. She shuddered as she felt his breath against her, and he knew that despite her protests, she also wanted it again. He brought his mouth to her, not bothering to tease her this time. He closed his eyes and went at her once more, her wetness making his face slick against her body. The sounds she made spurred him on, and he forgot to think - forgot to feel - anything but the sensation of her underneath his tongue.

"Oh, Harry, please...let me..." Her breathing hitched as she moaned, and he felt her hands recklessly grabbing at him. He finally pulled away to look at her. She untangled her leg from around his shoulder and then moved, lying so that they were at odds with each other. He understood then what she wanted and didn't fight her when she lowered his boxers.

He resumed his position from before, his face between her legs, but this time he felt her hand around him as he kissed her. A moment later, and he felt her mouth surround him, and nothing seemed to matter to Harry after that. He heard her grunt and felt the vibration against his body as her mouth moved lower and lower over him. They matched each other's pace perfectly. Harry moved one of his hands and slipped a finger into her as his mouth concentrated on her center. He was rewarded by her hand, cupping him as his body grew slick, wanting to release itself into her mouth. Harry closed his mind to the sensation and focused on making her climax before him, relentlessly sucking her into his mouth and speeding up his finger, adding another one. He wanted to smile when he felt her pause in her own action, her body shuddering as she suddenly came, the heat and wetness of her body pouring into his mouth.

"Dirty bleeding trick," he heard her say as she lay back, and he rolled away, gulping for air. She moved and appeared over him, shaking her head at him. "But not even you can last after this."

Harry frowned and opened his mouth to speak when he felt her suddenly climb on top of him, lowering herself and taking him fully into her body before he could stop her. He could only grunt as she leaned forward and looked at him. She shifted back, and his glasses were thrust into his hands. He put them on and looked up at her.

"I wanted you to watch," she said lightly and sat back. She lifted her hair up and threw it back over her shoulders. Her hands moved downwards, and she cupped her breasts as she watched him, shifting forward slightly with her hips. He felt himself pulse inside of her. She started moving her hips in a circular, lazy fashion, and he realized she could tease herself that way without any help from him, and the thought of it drove him to distraction.

"Ginny, Ginny..." he said stupidly, closing his eyes, loving the sweet, warm feeling of her rocking against him. He remembered the first time they had done this, and now it seemed as though their bodies moved of their own accord, falling into a perfect rhythm of pleasure. She fell forward and touched his face, causing him to open his eyes. He met her gaze and then watched as she let her eyes move downwards, lingering on the red mark that was still on his chest. She looked up at him, and he couldn't read her expression. But she lowered her mouth to the wound and kissed his skin tenderly, lavishing her tongue on him. Harry shuddered, and they gazed at each other as she sat back and resumed her movements from before. Harry felt his body fall into the tempo she set, and he moved his hands, one gripping her waist and the other caressing her breast. She rocked forward with more purpose, and he felt her tighten around him, making his head spin. He closed his eyes again, merely enjoying the sensation of warmth and love traveling through him.

"Harry, have I ever told you how excited it makes me when I see how eager you get just by putting your mouth on me?" Her voice was low and rough, and he opened his eyes, watching her. He shook his head.

"No, you've never told me," he said, playing along.

Ginny smiled widely and then moaned, throwing her head back as she moved up and down. She brought her head back up slowly, which caused her hair to fall around her in a bright red haze.

"I love the fact that the taste of me makes you so hard," she whispered, her eyes full of desire.

Harry didn't know if it was their bond or just the plain simple fact of their love for each other, but something seemed to fill him as he finally gave in and let himself feel what she was doing, thrusting upwards to meet her body. They moved in sync with each other, and she smiled suddenly, a wicked look in her eye. He frowned as she abruptly pulled herself off of him.

"Gin -"

"Shh."

She pulled back and then disappeared out of his line of sight. He propped his head up, and watched her, feeling amazed as she lowered her mouth over him.

"God, Gin, can't you ...?"

She pulled away and nodded. "Yes, I can taste myself on you. Isn't that brilliant, Harry?" she asked cheekily, resuming her task. Harry swore and then lay back, dizzy with feeling as his release went speeding through him, unable to stop this time. He gripped the duvet on the bed as he came, pushing upwards against his will, forgetting he was thrusting into her mouth.

He felt her finally slow her movements, and she slid upwards over him. He gazed at her as he wrapped his arms around her. She wiped at her mouth and gave him an unabashed look.

"Next time warn a girl before you choke her, you git," she said playfully.

"Oh, gods, sorry, did I hurt you? I didn't mean to make you gag."

"Do you see any in my hair?"

"Huh?"

"Exactly."

Ginny kissed him, and Harry finally pulled away, shaking his head at her. "That was brilliant."

Ginny smirked and moved to the side, curling around him, her legs intertwining with his. "Yes, I was, wasn't I?"

Harry laughed and looked down at her. "I think I did a fair bit of brilliance myself. You did come around three times there..."

"Well, I always do that." She turned her head and looked at him. "So, did it work?"

Harry frowned, and she reached up and touched his cheek with her hand. "Did you forget what made you so upset before?"

"Oh, that." Harry stopped, not wanting to break the mood by telling her that she would be leaving him. "It can keep until tomorrow."

Ginny narrowed her eyes and didn't say anything, biting her lip. He moved his arm so that it was resting on her backside, his hand caressing her. She finally shook her head at him.

"I don't believe you, but since I don't want to have a row after all of that pleasure, I'm going to be a clever girl for once and let it go. Besides, it's late...you need to leave soon."

"Can I just hold you until my time is up?" Harry asked, brushing her hair away from her face.

"As if you had any chance of doing anything else," she said slyly, moving closer to him.

Harry smiled as she rested her head on his chest, their hands meeting and joining. He knew tomorrow would be a challenging day; he only hoped that by the end of it, Ginny would understand why he needed her to leave.

o-o-o-o-o

Harry woke up early, so early in fact, that there wasn't even the hint of dawn yet in the dormitory. He lay in bed, listening to Ron and Neville snoring as though they were trying to outdo each other, and sighed, turning on his side. He knew that if he wanted to, in a little while, he could get up and make his way to Ginny's room and crawl into bed beside her, putting off the inevitable for one more day. But he had awakened early because he'd had a bad dream - and this dream had nothing to do with the link between him and Voldemort opening, but more about his own growing feelings of anger and apparent lack of control.

In the cool dark of his bed, it now bothered Harry what he had done to Snape - the man had always tried to get the best of him about his father, he didn't know why he had reacted the way he had. It also bothered him what he had almost done to Sioda when she'd told him about Voldemort's plans for Ginny. He didn't like feeling rage, and that is what it had been both times, and his apparent lack of regard for his own power had caused him to react without thinking. And he didn't like that about himself at all - Harry knew he may be rash about some things, but he was not a person who hurt first and asked questions later. It frightened him a bit, what he was turning into, and he wondered if his need to send Ginny away was based more on that fear than the outside fear of Voldemort trying something else to get to her.

When Dumbledore had suggested it before when Charlie had died, Harry had sworn on everything he held dear that he would never hurt Ginny - but what if he were wrong? What if, by sensing a weakness or by making him react in anger, Voldemort succeeded in making Harry do something he would live to regret? The idea of hurting Ginny made his stomach clench up, and although Harry knew he would never, ever willingly do it - his current lack of control and growing abilities proved that he was very capable of perhaps doing something.

The feelings Harry had felt during his fifth year had been anger, yes, but they had also been born out of frustration and lack of knowledge about what was going on. The anger Harry felt now was different, and he couldn't put his finger on why exactly that was. Perhaps he didn't like the fact that this was clearly his darkness he was dealing with - his own cold fury (for that is what it felt like to Harry - fury), that had nothing to do with Voldemort or the war but had everything to do with his own need to hurt and to strike out because now he could.

He sat up and sighed, pulling on his dressing gown, padding his way to the showers in the dark. He blinked as the harsh whiteness of the room, blinded him, the torches flaring into life as he entered. He touched the taps and undressed quickly, and the water soon turned warmer as he stepped underneath them.

Ginny's going to hate me for this, a small voice whispered in his head. And Harry couldn't even argue with himself about it. He could only hope that the love they shared was strong enough to withstand him ripping it apart.

o-o-o-o-o

After stopping at Dumbledore's office and asking for his agenda to be cleared for the day, he ate breakfast with Ron and Hermione and put some food in his pockets for Ginny, who had obviously not awoken yet. Since Tuesday's were the days when she didn't have any class, Harry knew she was probably still sleeping.

He knocked on her door and was surprised to see her looking remarkably awake and dressed, and he paused before he entered, wondering if he were dreaming.

"Harry!" she said happily, letting him in. "Why aren't you in class?"

Harry stared at her and pinched her arm. "I asked for the day off. Are you really...wait, you are awake, right? I'm not dreaming?"

She batted his hand away. "First of all, yes, I'm really awake, and second of all, you're supposed to pinch yourself to see if you're dreaming, you git."

"Oh, sorry," Harry said, smiling despite his tense mood. He couldn't resist Ginny when she was so clearly in a bright frame of mind. She moved closer to him and put her arms around his neck.

"I'm feeling really wonderful this morning, you know. I think it has to do with how well you wore me out last night," she said good-naturedly, reaching up to kiss him. Harry kissed her back until his guilt about ruining her good mood made him pull away. He looked away from her, feeling his cheeks heat and pretended to be concerned with the food in his pockets.

"Er, I brought you some breakfast," he said as he handed over the small mountain of raspberry tarts and pumpkin pasties he'd scavenged for her.

Ginny smiled widely and kissed him on the cheek, taking the food over to the bed. "I knew there was a reason I loved you," she said, smiling. "Now if only there was a way for you to have carted some tea or coffee up here to wash this all down with."

Almost on cue, a small knock was heard on the door, and Harry turned to open it, revealing Dobby floating a small tray out in front of him.

"Harry Potter and his Ginny's tea and coffee, sir!" the elf piped, and Ginny's mouth fell open as Dobby beamed at her. Harry thanked the elf and then poured Ginny a cup of coffee while he opted for the tea. Ginny only shook her head as she took a sip.

"You know, if I didn't already know you were simply the sweetest boyfriend ever, I'd be really suspicious about why you're acting so nice," she said playfully, grinning at him.

Harry felt himself give her a weak smile and sat down on the bed across from her watching her eat. She paused and offered him one of the tarts.

"No, they're all for you," he said, forcing a smile on his face. Ginny didn't notice anything wrong, and she happily continued eating, chatting about the upcoming start of the Quidditch season. Harry started feeling worse and worse - he hadn't considered the fact that making her go back to the abbey would make her position on the Gryffindor Quidditch team redundant.

"Well, that was lovely, thank you again," she said as she lay back against the bed, patting her stomach happily. Harry cleared their cups away and used his wand to clear up any crumbs and sat down again, not facing her and staring at his feet. He suddenly felt as though his tongue had been glued to the top of his mouth.

"So, you're to help me with my reading then?" Ginny asked as she sat up and draped her arm across his shoulder.

Harry turned to her, startled. "Er, no, why would you think that?"

She shrugged and traced his lips with her finger, smiling. "Well, I hope you didn't go to Dumbledore and ask for a day off just to shag me senseless. I should get somework done today."

"I..." Harry took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, not wanting to hurt her and not knowing how to do what he needed to do without that happening.

"Harry?" Ginny's brow furrowed as she watched him. "What's wrong? I was just kidding about the senseless shagging part, honest. We only have to do it once or twice this time."

Harry felt something flare inside of him and kissed her then, almost without thinking about it, just wanting to feel her. He fell back onto the bed as Ginny settled into his arms. He couldn't think, really, and kissing her and touching her seemed the only thing that made any sense to him, all of a sudden. He groaned as Ginny's hand went immediately to his groin, causing him to have a whole new set of issues.

"Hmm, I know I just got dressed, but goodness, you feel too keen to pass up," she said slyly as she pulled her mouth away from his.

"We have to talk," Harry managed to get out as her head moved down his body, and her hands seemed to be everywhere at once.

"Hmm, well, I'm definitely listening to what you're saying, Harry," Ginny said mischievously, her hand already lowering the zipper to his trousers. Harry shut his eyes tightly and forced himself to sit up, pulling her away. He stood up and took a deep breath, trying to figure out how he was ever going to survive being away from her when he couldn't even sit next to her without wanting to pounce on her.

"Harry?" Ginny's voice interrupted his thoughts, this time very full of concern. He straightened his clothes and turned around to look at her, sighing.

"We have to talk," he said again, moving away from the bed. Ginny moved as though she was going to go to him, but he put his hand out. "No, I...I think you should stay over there for this...and I should...stay here."

"What is it?" Ginny's eyes were serious, and all playfulness had vanished, and Harry knew it was now or never.

"Gin...I...I love you, you know that, right?"

She frowned and nodded her head. "Yes. And I love you, you know that, right?"

Harry nodded and gazed at her for a moment, smiling. He shook his head to clear it and looked away.

"I was really...well, when I realized you had been taken...that Voldemort had you...that he was going to hurt you...I was angry."

Ginny shifted on the bed, and he glanced at her. She was frowning at him. "I know, Harry, you told me."

"I was furious, Ginny. I didn't just say it to be romantic or noble - I would have killed Sioda or anyone else if I thought they were responsible for you getting hurt. I...I hurt her, you know, Sioda...I shoved her around and -"

"Harry, she deserved it - "

"No, let me finish." Harry interrupted her, running a hand through his hair, starting to pace. "Dumbledore stopped me before I could really harm her, but I wanted to, Gin. And I've never really wanted to hurt anyone before, not like her, not like that. There's only one other time I felt as though I could murder someone and that..." Harry paused as he thought of the time he'd wanted to kill Sirius because he'd thought his godfather had betrayed his parents. "Well, that was similar to this, actually...but...this was different. Because I'm different...because...I'm more powerful now."

He turned and looked at her, and she blinked back at him, frowning. "I can hurt people if I want to," he said calmly. "I...I did it to Draco in the library and...last night...I did it to Snape, and yes, they both deserved it, but it still doesn't give me the right to do it. But I can't seem to control this anger sometimes, and that's frightening to me."

"You hurt Snape?" Ginny finally asked, looking puzzled.

Harry nodded. "Yeah. I...I stunned him last night after you left Dumbledore's office. He was trying to...I don't know...he was being his usual nasty self, and with just a wave of my hand, I made him hit the wall. I...didn't think about doing it, I just did it."

"But...what did Dumbledore do?"

"Nothing. He...got in between us...but...I don't know, Gin. I think Dumbledore did try something, but...it didn't work. I...think I scared him because I think he knows I could have hurt him as well."

"Harry! You wouldn't hurt Dumbledore..." Ginny paused and looked at him. "I mean...I know he's...he's made you angry and hurt you in the past and..."

"I would have fought him to get back to you," Harry said softly, leaning against the wall. "When he separated us during the thing with Charlie and your mum, and I didn't know where you were...I...was ready to fight him until he let me go, Gin. In fact, I think a small part of me wanted to hurt him."

"But Dumbledore's really powerful, Harry, surely he would have..." Ginny stopped and really looked at him, biting her lip.

"Brogan told me at the time that he was worried about finding Dumbledore in pieces, not me, when he came back to the room and I...I didn't listen to him then, but...I can't really explain it, Gin, but lately...I've felt as though something about me is...changing. And not for the better."

Harry walked over to the bed and kneeled down beside it, taking her hands into his. He looked into her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't ever want you to fear me, Gin."

Ginny tilted her head. "Harry, I don't fear you. Your...your power is growing and changing, yes, but you're still you, Harry. Didn't we learn that before? No matter what Voldemort does to you, you're still always you? You have this amazing heart, Harry, you love so much with it - he could never take that away from you."

"He could take you away from me."

Ginny looked down at their hands, her lip trembling slightly. She finally met his eyes. "But he won't, Harry. I have Aine's protection, and you, and Ron and Hermione and Dumbledore and…"

"Aine's protection isn't enough. Not when it comes to me," Harry interrupted quietly, and she paused.

Harry swallowed roughly and squeezed her hands. "And I don't want to live in a world that doesn't have you in it."

He could see the tears in her eyes, but she fought them, shaking her head. She pulled her hands from his. "And I don't want to live in a world that doesn't have you in it. What have you done, Harry? You've made some sort of life-changing decision without bothering to talk to me first, haven't you? Something you know I'm not going to like."

"I want you to go back to the abbey...for the rest of term...until I've defeated him. Or until I can get a handle on all of this...power."

Ginny sat back as though he'd physically pushed her and stared down at him. "I thought we agreed we're stronger together," she finally said, her voice sounding odd to Harry. He stood back up and looked at her.

"Things have changed."

Ginny swore and looked away from him, her face turning bright red, which he knew meant she was already angry. Her eyes blazed up at him as she turned to face him.

"You knew this last night, didn't you? You came back from Dumbledore's office, and you'd already made up your mind that I should go, so of course, you don't bother to discuss it with me. And I'm going, aren't I? Whatever Harry wants, Dumbledore grants, isn't that right?" Ginny stood up from the bed and moved closer to him, putting her hand flat on his chest. "You knew this as you made love to me. You kissed me and made me feel incredible only because you knew it'd be the last time you could get a leg over for a while!"

She pushed at him, and he let her; her eyes widened at his passivity, and she pushed him again until he was back against the wall. All Harry could do was to look at her, feeling sad.

"You selfish prick," she said as her tears started to fall, her face screwed up in pain. "You lousy, self-centered bastard. You...you...you think sending me away is going to help ME, Harry? Did you even stop to consider how I would feel about being taken away from my friends, my classes, my family...my...you?" Ginny's face went from rage to anguish as her question lingered between them. She grimaced and cursed as she fell against him, her head resting on his shoulder. Her hand curled into a fist, and she beat it against his chest, half-heartedly.

"I knew you were going to do this, Harry; damn it, I knew," he heard her mumble against him, and he wrapped his arms around her.

They stayed that way for a long time, and Harry could only comfort her with his embrace. Because what she had said was right, in a way. Yes, he was sending her away to protect her, which was noble, he supposed, but it was also very selfish of him - he knew at least that much. He didn't want her to get hurt - not for her sake, but for his own. He had meant what he'd said about not being able to live in a world where she didn't exist - she was his strength in so many ways and the idea of losing that - of losing her - it scared Harry more than anything.

And he also couldn't deny that he hadn't really thought about how leaving would truly affect her - she would be alone at the abbey and cut off, and he knew only too well how a few weeks of that would drive her mad.

Ginny finally shuddered and took in a deep breath, and he looked down at her. Her eyes were still closed, and he touched her cheek with his thumb, wiping a few wet spots away.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He thought she was going to fight him still, but her question surprised him. "Do you honestly think this is the best thing to do?" she asked quietly.

Harry nodded, releasing the breath he'd been holding. "You know I couldn't live with myself if I...Ginny, I love you more than anything I have ever loved in my entire life. I never thought, in a million years, that I would ever feel anything as good and as true as what we have. Never. Nothing in my life has ever prepared me for the way you make me feel. And I'm sorry - I know that I'm selfish, and I know this is probably what Hermione likes to call my 'saving people thing'...but..."

Ginny placed a finger against his mouth, quieting him. She searched his eyes and then leaned forward, planting a small kiss on his lips. Harry paused, not sure what to do. Her hands moved around so that they were gripping his waist, and she deepened the kiss. They finally pulled apart, and Harry sighed, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I don't want you to go; please, Ginny, you have to know that," he said softly.

Her hands held his head, and her fingers stroked his hair. "I know, Harry," she finally said, sounding sadder than he had ever heard her sound. "I remember our talk at the abbey after the first part of my prophecy had come true. You're doing it because you think it's right. You don't want me to get hurt."

She pulled back and met his gaze, unflinching, her eyes red, but tear-free. Harry felt his heart break at the conflict he saw in her, and he knew she was trying very hard not to give in to the hurt he had caused her.

"But you have to understand that I don't want you to get hurt either," Ginny continued. "You have to understand there are two of us here in this thing. Always."

Harry blinked back at her, bringing his hand up to her face. "And you have to understand that I wouldn't send you away unless I really thought you were in danger."

Ginny's eyes softened as she looked at him, but she shook her head, as though arguing with herself. She swallowed roughly and wiped at her eyes. "When do I leave?" she asked quietly, looking away from him.

Harry sighed and turned her head back so he could watch her eyes. "I don't know, I told Dumbledore I would speak to you about it. And we should let your parents know. But I think...the sooner, the better."

Ginny nodded and slipped away from him, walking towards her bed. "I should pack then," she said in a flat voice, and Harry frowned.

"Well, not right this second -"

Ginny turned and gave him a sad look. "The longer we wait, the harder it will be to say goodbye."

Harry shook his head. "But it's not a permanent goodbye; there's the spell we have to think of and...well, I reckon we can arrange something where I visit you on the weekends."

"Oh, that's nice, then," she said again in that same flat tone. She went to her bureau, grabbing her rucksack and emptying it out on her bed. Harry stood behind her and watched her, feeling wretched.

"I don't have a proper traveling bag; reckon I'll just have to stuff everything in here."

"I think you can use your trunk," Harry suggested, and her shoulders slumped suddenly. He touched her arm, alarmed. "Gin?"

She turned, and he was surprised to see her eyes watery again. "I don't want to use my trunk!" she said disagreeably, pushing him away. She turned and went into the loo, and Harry followed her, not understanding. He watched as she angrily threw some of her things into the sink, wincing as they clattered loudly against the porcelain.

"Er, okay, then...you don't have to use your trunk," Harry said, feeling stupid. She scowled at him and then sat down on the edge of the bathtub, covering her face. Harry kneeled down in front of her, worried.

"Ginny? I thought you understood why you have to go? What's wrong?"

Ginny looked at him through tear-stained eyelashes. "I don't want to take my trunk!"

Harry frowned. "I know you said that."

"Harry! Don't you get it? If I take my trunk, it means...it means...it means I'm not coming back!"

Harry suddenly understood and pulled her into his arms. "Of course you're coming back, you silly thing. You take your trunk to Hogwarts, and you always come back from here, don't you?" He touched her face and wanted to make her smile.

"I won't be able to play in Quidditch matches, either, I suppose?" she asked softly. Harry sighed and nodded his head.

Ginny looked angry again for a moment but then sighed. "And no Yule Ball either, I reckon. Unless you think Voldemort's going to give us a nice Christmas present and off himself just in time for the holiday break."

Harry smiled and then shook his head. "I'd forgotten about the Ball," he admitted as he helped her up. He led her out of the bathroom and sat down in one of the chairs by the fireplace. He pulled her onto his lap and held her close, kissing the top of her head.

"I know you probably don't get it because you're a bloke...but...I really wanted to look nice for you, and I wanted us to dance all night in the Great Hall," she said quietly, her head on his shoulder. "Hermione was even going to help me pick out a new set of dress robes I was somehow going to convince Fred and George to help me buy."

"What color?" Harry asked, moving his hand along her arm.

"Purple, I think." She sniffed, and he felt her hand on his chest. "Maybe lavender. Or perhaps green. I remembered how well you liked that color on me from the dressing gown."

"You would have been the most beautiful girl there," Harry said softly.

Ginny moved and looked up at him. "You're just saying that because you're sending me away to Ireland."

He opened his mouth to protest and saw the flash of mischievousness in her eyes. He smiled and shook his head.

"You're the most beautiful girl anywhere, to me, and yes, I am saying that because I've just broken your Yule Ball dreams."

Ginny gave a short laugh, and it cheered him, and he felt a momentary feeling of panic at what he had set in motion. He couldn't send her away - he was idiotic. He would die without her...

"Hey," she said as she reached up and touched his cheek. "Now, what are you planning?"

Harry saw the worried look come back into her eyes and desperately wanted to chase it away again. "I was wondering if perhaps you'd let me get a leg over one more time, actually."

Her eyes widened, and she bit her lip before realizing he was teasing. She shook her head ruefully at him and turned so that she was straddling his lap in the chair. Harry moved his hands down her back, and they shifted until they fit together. Already he could feel the ache inside him; already, he knew he was starting to miss her.

She kissed him deliriously slow and pushed his glasses off as she pulled back, running her hands over his head and into his hair. She kissed her way along his cheekbone, and he sighed, holding her tightly.

"I was kidding, Gin," he said softly, not wanting her to feel obligated.

"Harry, you are the only boy I know who can completely break my heart, make me cry, drive me absolutely mental and yet still not understand that when a girl wants to shag, there's no reason to resist her."

Harry blinked at her and then felt a small smile on his face. He moved his hands around and started to remove her blouse as she began to move in the chair.

"I don't mean to break your heart," he said quietly as she stood up and undid her jeans, letting them fall to the floor as she stepped out of them. She removed her knickers quickly and then moved back into position, her hand fumbling with his trousers, pushing them down as far she could. Harry closed his eyes as her hand freed him from his boxers. He was surprised when he felt her move, lowering herself onto him. He opened his eyes as she grunted as though in pain, her body clearly not ready for him.

"Gin -"

"Shut up," she said, although not unkindly, and he exhaled as her body closed around his, much tighter than he was used to. She moved and put her hands on his face, and he met her eyes.

"I know you don't mean to break my heart, Harry. That's why I love you. Do you feel that? Do you feel the way we fit? It's tight and unyielding, and yet there's so much pleasure there, so much promise. That's what we are, my love."

She twisted against him, biting her lips, her fingers gripping his arms roughly. Harry couldn't stand it - he moved his hand in between her legs and started rubbing her, her body responding against her will.

"I like to think that with the right kind of attention, we're both just a few strokes away from being soft and flexible, Gin," he said, smiling. He pushed forward slightly as her body grew more accepting of his. She shook her head at him and closed her eyes, her breathing shallow.

She finally moaned and leaned back, giving in to the swell of pleasure he had started. She met his thrust with one of her own. Harry brought his hand around to cup her backside as he watched her, wanting to keep the image of her - wanton and undone and entirely his - for future reference, to help get through the next flare of darkness that was certain to come for him before he was ready.

o-o-o-o-o