Falling Is Like This

by inadaze22

Rose Weasley's life is all about routine and passing fancies; that is, until she witnesses something that changes everything. On her quest to find answers, Rose will learn that there are many ways to fall, and no way to avoid it.

19. Corners Of The Earth

I'm at one
And I'm been silent for too long
I've been quiet for too long
Silence – Marshamello (feat Khalid)

Chapter Nineteen: Corners of the Earth

To Rose, the term Survival of the Fittest had always sounded more like a threat than a promise.

The phrase was ambiguous, and because of that, it had been used as a comforting belief for those who – because of their wealth, pedigree, and status – thought they had the privilege to not only view themselves as the fittest, but also use it as an excuse to exploit those who were not.

What did the fittest mean? Society was in an eternal state of flux. Traits that hadn't been valuable were now essential due to the ever-changing needs of civilisation. And vice versa.

For example: Rose was afraid of heights.

Could she be deemed the fittest because she'd always had the good fucking sense to stay on the ground and thus significantly decrease the probability of imminent death? Or could she be considered the fittest because, while fear was an undesirable trait to pass on, she'd also inherited a mean stubborn streak that had brought her fifty metres in the air to face that fear head-on?

Actually, would it matter?

If she were to die at any point between the platform and the ground, there would be no traits to pass on.

Or maybe that was the point.

All Rose knew was that everything that had led up to that particular moment was Astoria's fault.

The day hadn't started off terribly. Rose had woken to light filtering in from the partially opened curtain. Scorpius had been warm as ever, still asleep. Which was strange because the possessed alarm had been blaring its normal rousing tune for at least an hour or two by that point.

Rose found herself almost proud that he'd slept through it, but then remembered they'd spent the entire night reading through everything Alder had provided, only going to bed at nearly four in the morning when they could no longer keep their eyes open.

And it wasn't quite seven.

So, basically Scorpius was dead. And Rose wondered why she wasn't as well. Oh, right.

Her body had woken her up to run. Funny how that worked.

In a strange role-reversal, she had been the one to wake him up, something Scorpius hadn't found funny. He was grumpy about everything until he'd returned dressed for their run. He'd Apparated them to the very first trail they'd run on, and it was different seeing it in the daylight. That time, despite their bone-deep exhaustion, they ran longer and Rose kept up better than before. Perhaps it had been because he was tired or because she was doing better.

Whichever.

After, they laid in the grass by the water's edge of the lake, warmed by the still-rising sun as they listened to music. In the silence between them, Scorpius recharged and Rose caught her breath in the morning breeze.

When his hand had found hers in the grass between them, he never complained once about the sweatiness.

But neither did she.

He hadn't been ready to go, but they had to meet his parents, cousins, Al, and Jane for his mother's Birthday Bucket List Challenge at nine and – well, Rose, at that point, had been in desperate need of a shower.

Astoria had only one rule about her Bucket List Challenge, which Scorpius had explained years before. Everyone had to participate. Not an issue for Rose. With as many hobbies as she'd had in her life, obviously she had no issues with trying something once and never doing it again. And, well, because they'd gone hot air balloon racing last year, Rose had assumed that year's activity would take place firmly on the ground.

Words couldn't explain how wrong she'd been.

Bungee jumping.

That had been what Astoria had selected for her activity.

If Rose had been a distrustful person – and she was – she would have believed that Astoria had decided on that particular activity knowing just how much she hated heights. Scorpius' three cousins – Marcus, Joseph, and Octavian – had all been thrilled to try a new Muggle activity. Teddy, Al, and Mr Draco – all no stranger to heights – had also been keen on jumping.

The only other hold-out had been Jane, bless her. She'd looked a bit nervous.

Rose could relate.

While Scorpius had frowned at his mother, everyone else had figured out the order in which they wanted to jump. Jane had opted to go last, and when Astoria asked Rose when she wanted to jump, she'd frozen in place. What was after last?

Oh, wait. Never.

Which was a violation of the rule. The only rule.

Why had she come?

Right, because Scorpius had invited her. That prat.

But it was fine. Rose had a brilliant plan that had involved using Jane's uneasiness as an excuse to stay on the ground, but then Albus fucking Potter just had to shyly suggest to Jane that they jump together; something that had made her just as excited as the others.

Rose had briefly thought about disowning him, but he really was her favourite cousin.

She revisited the thought again however when, at her continued refusal to answer Astoria's question, Rose found herself under the woman's steely gaze, mocked by her words. "Surely you aren't afraid." And even though her condescending drawl had been her normal tone when it came to Rose, it had still made her grind her teeth with irritation.

"There's nothing wrong with being afraid of free-falling towards the earth with no guarantee of survival," Jane had said casually as she blew her bangs out of her eyes with a puff of air. "Cords can snap and equipment can fail. It's not a completely irrational fear."

Everyone – except Al, who had bobbed his head in agreement – just blinked at her like she'd brought up an excellent point. Well, that had gone morbid quickly. Rose just smiled because she'd known her friend well enough to know that she wasn't finished.

"I was afraid of centaurs, but then I met one that only threatened to eat me once. So, I'd say he was really nice…" She trailed off dreamily, looking down only to discover her shoes were untied. "Oh!"

Daphne's eldest son, Marcus, blinked at Jane repeatedly then cut his eyes over to his middle brother, Joseph, who was standing next to him, looking just as lost. "I'm utterly confused right now."

"That's normal," Rose and Scorpius had replied simultaneously. They'd looked at each other, allowing a smirk to pass between them that immediately had grown into matching smiles. He was standing between Joseph and Octavian; his blond hair made him stand out from his three cousins who had inherited their father's black hair. He was shorter than Marcus, slimmer than the stocky Jacob, and not nearly as gangly as Octavian, who was in his Fourth Year at Hogwarts.

A Hufflepuff.

Much to the confusion of no one. He had always been different.

Happy-go-lucky in a family of opportunists and overthinkers.

Jane just grinned at them, but Octavian had been the only one to return a toothy grin.

Mr Draco had coughed to cover his chuckle, but Astoria glared daggers at him and completely bypassed Jane's…everything. "Well, thank you for the fascinating story, but this is quite safe. I've researched it myself and there is only a one in ten million chance of equipment failure."

So, there was a chance.

Rose peered up, watching as another jumper stood on the edge, arm out, ready to go.

It was so high that she had been forced to crane her head, squint her eyes, and use her hand to block the wind. She probably should have left well enough alone because the sight had made Rose's stomach roll violently.

She shouldn't have had that protein smoothie. Or the five pieces of crispy bacon.

Conversation had gone on around her while Rose watched as the person willingly leapt from the platform with their arms wide open, screaming in excitement all the way down. While the odds had seemed excellent, Rose's luck had been awful lately, and she had a better chance than most to end up splattered on the pavement.

Still, she watched like an idiot – unable to tear her eyes away as the rope snapped them back up into the air. Almost horrified, she watched them rise and fall in the air until they came to a complete rest upside down mere metres off the ground. The workers on the ground quickly got them upright, then out of the harness and safety gear before the rope was pulled up by a machine for the next jumper.

The obviously mad-as-a-hatter bloke had run over to join his mates, making animated gestures that showed just how much he'd enjoyed the experience.

Rose died a little inside.

Mouth dry, she struggled to swallow, but nausea kept rising from the pit of her stomach. She fought against it, but fear was pulling her further under, panic rushing past her lips and into her lungs. And just when her breath quickened, she felt someone touch her hand, which had distracted her from the full-blown panic attack she was trying to have. It was Jane, and she was dabbing her sweaty forehead with a handkerchief that had DM embroidered on it, giving her a worried look.

As was Scorpius, but kept his concern to only looks because he was busy. The conversation she'd exited from had escalated into an argument with his mother while she was being traumatised.

"She doesn't have to do it," Scorpius said in almost a testing tone that quietly dared anyone to argue with him. His arms were at his side, his body language relaxed, but his stance had looked almost defensive.

Al had redeemed himself as her favourite cousin when he agreed.

"It's silly that we're all going to jump and she won't," Astoria argued, not bothering to hide her exasperation. "Why did she accept the invitation? I always do something that involves heights for my birthday! It's—"

"You've never invited Rose before," his father interjected in a smooth, but corrective tone. "It's unfair for you to assume that she would know your plans as you've always kept them a secret until the last possible moment. Also, might I add, you don't always choose activities that involve heights. I believe you chose to go to a beekeeping farm to make honey five years ago."

"Uncle Draco's right. We went to the Swiss Alps four years ago, but we just looked from the ground." Octavian reminded his aunt, oblivious to the fact that her frown, now directed at him, had deepened to the point where she'd started looking like Scorpius when he was annoyed by someone that he cared about.

Rose knew the look too well. Particularly when she picked a film or put her cold feet on him at night.

But Octavian hadn't been deterred by her looks or by Marcus clearing his throat. Because he was just that precious. "We went to Ireland three years ago," he continued on happily. "That was my favourite of your birthday activities because we got to see castles. Then two years ago, we drove Go-karts and Uncle Draco was terrible at it. Then we went hot air balloon racing last year." He scratched his black hair thoughtfully before adding. "I think last year was the first time we'd done anything with heights."

Scorpius seemed to relax a bit, smirking at his gawky little cousin who was nearly his height and ruffling his dark hair. Mr. Draco gave Rose a little nod that spoke volumes. Marcus nodded in agreement, albeit looking extremely amused by it all. Hell, even Joseph said, "He's got a point."

"Fine," Astoria conceded, "But the rule is everyone must participate—"

"Mother…" Scorpius warned, voice low.

"What?" she retorted. "It's the rule that we all tick off a bucket list item together. That's the entire point of the day and how we've always done it. I'm not being unreas—"

The only thing Rose could blame for her next lapse in judgment had been the fact that her pride had come out of nowhere and tackled her self-preservation. She hadn't the foggiest clue where the words had come from, but before Scorpius could continue, she'd blurted out: "I'll do it."

And then she'd run full speed towards the attendant like a complete lunatic to pay.

She dropped too many notes on the counter, and when the bloke had tried to give them back, she laughed hysterically and accidentally yelled, "You can't talk me out of this!" The poor bloke looked terrified, but pointed her in the direction she needed to go.

And that was how she'd found herself standing on a platform over fifty metres in the air while strapped down with all sorts of safety belts and her ankles firmly secured to cables. Well, sort of. There was the whole matter of weight, proper cables, and adjustments, but that was far beyond her understanding at the moment.

Rose had a picturesque view of London, but couldn't enjoy it because she was too busy sweating and swearing and vowing never to let her fucking pride take control like that again. She was also praying and taking deep breaths in an attempt to not cry. Or piss herself. Either one.

But the only saving grace had been the fact that she wasn't alone.

Scorpius had all but run after her and stepped on the scale with her. He had been out of breath, but firmly told her, "We're jumping together."

And that was that.

If she were being honest – a good time for that seeing as she was mere moments from willingly (or not) jumping off the platform – Rose would admit that she was glad to have him with her should she end up a broken mess on the ground.

Now she couldn't unthink that thought.

The platform worker finished his first round of equipment checks before stepping back to give instructions. Rose couldn't even listen because she was already shaking and panicking about worst-case scenarios, and the fact that she had the best possibility to be that one in a ten million chance of death because of her rotten luck.

"Almost ready," the platform worker told them. "Just one more check."

Rose, who had been pressed up against Scorpius at that point, wrapped her arms around him, her vision blurring at the edges. Light-headed and teetering on the edge of a full-blown panic attack, she pressed her ear against his chest, right over his heart, in an attempt to calm herself down.

Or as much as she could.

"You're okay." His rumbled words reverberated through her entire body. His arms were around her, touch firm.

Rose took a shaky breath. Then another. She found it easy to focus on him. Just like that.

She shut her eyes tight and listened, focusing on his heat and heartbeat, trying to match her breath to each one he took. Rose didn't let herself think, worry, or stress. She just let herself feel, and in that moment, she found the rhythmic thumping relaxing. Steady. She opened her eyes slowly and found that her blurred vision had started clearing; the short, panicked breaths levelled out.

"You don't have to do this."

Rose laughed and it sounded hoarse even to her ears, "A bit too late for that now."

What had she been doing? Oh, right, breathing. She inhaled. Exhaled. Fuck, she lost the rhythm.

Despite the chill that came from being so fucking high in the air, a cold sweat ran down the back of her neck. Rose shut her eyes tight.

"It's never too late." How the hell was he so calm? "I know you're only up here because you're too stubborn to go back."

Maybe she was on the verge of a very well-deserved nervous breakdown. Or perhaps she was light-headed to the point where too many of her brain cells had atrophied. Either way, she caught hold of what Lavender had said yesterday and said, "Perhaps it's not a bad idea to do something I'm afraid of. Maybe it'll be thrilling?"

Her eyes were still closed, but she could practically feel his doubt. "You're not a thrill-seeker, Rose. This isn't you."

"I'm surprising when I want to be."

Surprisingly stupid.

A gust of wind blew through them and she actually squeezed him tighter. Probably too tight because Scorpius sounded like he'd been punched in the stomach when he grunted, "Are you certain? You don't feel certain."

"Because I'm not!"

He chuckled and it was as if they were talking on the ground, talking like always. "That sounds more like it." Scorpius adjusted his grip on her. "If you insist on doing this, I won't say anything else to discourage you." His voice should have been lost in the wind, but she heard him clearly. "Just—do you think you can relax and trust that you're going to get through this without dying?"

"I never said that."

"You've been practically whispering it since we got up here."

Rose lifted her head long enough to glare him down, which only made him grin in return, his small dimple just on the corner of his mouth. Scorpius had left his glasses with the workers on the ground, which had made for an interesting ride up to the platform as Rose had spent more time worrying about his near blindness than her fear.

"Oi! Are you both ready?" the platform attendant asked. "You're all set."

Scorpius made a small oof noise when Rose squeezed him tighter, but answered, "We are."

"Speak for yourself!" She tensed when another gust of wind blew around them.

"Give us a moment," he told the bloke, sounding far too humoured for her liking.

He gave a chuckle. "Take as long as you need."

After that, even though they were on the platform overlooking the city, they may as well have been alone. Scorpius moved them closer to the edge, saying nothing about the cold sweat on her skin, nothing about the fact that she was shaking like a leaf and holding on to him tighter than ever before.

"Breathe," he told her when she started quietly panting, throat tight and feeling out of control. Her head was spinning as self-preservation fought back a bit too late. She felt his breath on her forehead when he said, "You can do this," in that rumbly, deeper voice she felt in her chest. Rose closed her eyes tight again, trying to find her centre and focus, locking on to it. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she whispered, understanding the reality behind the truth of her answer.

Rose didn't trust him because she had to trust someone; it had always been about who he was to her. His importance and place in her life, the bond that held them tighter than the harnesses that physically tied them together. It had always been about everything that made him Scorpius. He'd never once given her a reason not to trust him. He'd seen her at her very best and worst – more than once – and never so much as thought about abandoning her.

Never thought less of her.

Never judged her or talked down to her.

Still looked her in the eyes and told her that she was everything he'd ever wanted.

"Are you ready?"

Rose focused on his question, his touch, and the steady beat of his heart. She allowed everything to fill the panicked spaces of her mind. "Yes."

Then he tipped them over the edge.

The moment her brain had actually registered the fact that they were fucking falling – and she'd left her stomach on the damn platform – there had been an indescribable rush of adrenaline unlike anything she'd ever felt. She couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Couldn't see. Rose gritted her teeth, clutching to him with everything she had. It was terrifying and cold with the wind rushing up all around them, but she held on tight, her body so rigid that it should have ached had she been able to feel anything at all.

But then the cord went taught and they rebounded – no longer falling, but flying.

The shock of it had made Rose abandon every bit of composure; all of the focus she'd so tenuously gathered had just shredded. She actually heard herself start screaming like a bloody banshee and swearing worse than her dad when the Cannons lost. And then Rose wondered if she'd been screaming and cursing all along.

Probably.

For two breaths, they were suspended in animation, not falling or flying.

For one second, Rose opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of the world around her.

She couldn't see the city, its tall buildings, or bridges. Couldn't hear car horns, boats, or general commotion. But Rose saw endless blue skies with puffy clouds that kept the sun from blinding them. She heard Scorpius yelling – not in horror, but rather, excitement because he was a lunatic. Felt him tightening his hold on her…

Then they were plummeting towards the ground again.

Everything blurred as they went through a series of bounces before they were finally lowered into the thick air cushion on the ground. Rose wasn't sure when she'd actually released her hold on him or when the attendants separated them. All she knew was one minute, they were on the landing mat, and the next she was being freed from the last of the safety equipment.

"I am never doing that again!" Rose stumbled backwards. "Fuck!"

Everyone around them laughed while they made quick work of unhooking Scorpius. Unsteady on her feet and disoriented, she bent forward, hands on her knees; nauseous but unspeakably relieved to be back on solid ground.

Bloody hell, declaration aside, she'd actually done it.

Rose looked up at the platform where they had come from. It was still far, but she'd—no, they'd done it together. Rose briefly thought about kissing the ground, and would have, had she not looked up and caught the sight of Scorpius.

Oh.

Maybe it was because her stomach was still on that platform, brain still falling, and body on the ground – all at the same time – but Rose found herself struck by his physical presence.

Disoriented.
Breathless.
Stunned.

The attendants were busy taking off his harness and the last of his straps, buzzing around him like bees, but he just stood there like none of that mattered. Stood there and stared at Rose in a way that made her throat dry and her heart quicken in her chest. And she knew, logically, that he couldn't even see her because she was too far and he was practically blind, but—wow.

Wow.

Shit.

Scorpius had always been so understated, choosing to show his power in every way except outright hostility. But right then… everything about him commanded absolute attention in a way that she hadn't ever seen. And she paid attention because – fuck – she couldn't help herself.

He was flushed like he had been after each run and every Quidditch game, hair wild and windblown, sticking in all directions. His eyes were brighter without his glasses. Bluer, if that was possible. His face was stretched in a wide grin that was open and boyishly free, more radiant than the sun that was tucked behind the clouds.

To me, you're everything I've ever wanted.

And maybe it was because she was overwhelmed by the experience, maybe it was because her emotions were stretched across the four corners of the sky, and everything hadn't snapped back into place, but by the gods, he was—

"Gorgeous," came a stranger's voice from right next to her.

Um. Where the hell had she come from?

The girl was taller than Rose, as most people were, with dark hair. She wore the same uniform as the attendants working to get him unhooked, but instead of helping, she seemed content with chewing her gum and ogling Scorpius. "Oh, here. Certificates of Completion for you and your boyfriend. Cheers!"

"What?" Rose asked breathlessly, but numbly accepted the certificates.

She never got an answer.

"Can blokes even be gorgeous?" the girl asked herself, then looked over at Scorpius again, mouth pursed in thought. Then she decided, "Gods, yes," and shouted, "Oi!" at someone Rose couldn't even see.

Then she walked away.

Rose was still trying to process her own thoughts, the exchange, and the certificates when someone handed Scorpius his glasses and he put them on. In fact, she was so lost in her dimension of what the actual fuck had just happened that she barely registered that he was approaching her until he was right there. His smile was so brilliant that it hurt. It had taken her back two weeks, and left her a lingering urge to snog that stupid grin off his face.

Right then and there.

What.

"We're the ten million, not the one," she blurted out instead.

If at all possible, his grin got even brighter as his eyes softened to something strangely fond. Gods. Right then, looking directly at a solar eclipse was a more favourable option because Rose felt wobbly and strangely warm, despite the chill she'd caught from the wind.

Then it faded into something warm and familiar before he said, "You were brilliant."

And right then, her stomach decided that was the perfect moment to jump off the platform and catch up with her falling mind, before they both crash-landed into her body. The collision was clumsy and violent, causing Rose to stagger backwards and bend forward, trying to catch her breath. And when the now concerned Scorpius asked again if she was okay, Rose responded by losing her breakfast on the ground between them.

---

Her mother looked far too happy listening to Rose lament about her day.

"I only just missed Scorpius' trainers."

It obviously wasn't the first time he'd ever dodged vomit.

Her mum was chuckling in that fond, empathetic tone most parents seemed to have perfected after years of dealing with their children's antics. "Oh, love."

Which actually meant you poor thing.

Or her mum's attempt at softening the blow without making her feel bad.

Appropriate for the situation, really.

Well, according to the workers who had been ready with the clean-up, her reaction had been normal for a first-time jumper. Especially one with a fear of heights. Jane had emphasised the point when they got back to the group. After convincing everyone that she was fine, she and Scorpius had sat on a bench and watched everyone go. He made sure that she at least sipped the water they'd provided, but Rose was too busy counting how many times he hesitated before taking her hand.

Four.

Oh, and quietly trying to get over what the hell had happened.

Three hours later, and Rose still hadn't quite gotten over it.

After everyone had finished, Jane volunteered to see her home because she thought Rose still looked a bit peaky. Of course, Astoria had insisted that she do just that, stating it was just fine for Rose to skip the catered brunch at Mr. Draco's city flat just a short distance away. She'd made sure to emphasise her worry for Rose's condition with a look far too saccharine to be genuine.

Hell, even Joseph had noticed it and he was the most tactless of all the brothers.

Teddy's eyebrow had almost vanished into his hairline.

Rose had just smiled thinly and made sure she used the proper silverware when she ate her two plates of food while Scorpius' cousins watched with barely suppressed awe.

As if she would ever let a little sick get in the way of her appetite.

"Well," her mother said after she'd slathered enough Sleakeazy's on Rose's hair to force it into compliance in preparation for the afternoon festivities. "I'm proud of you for following through. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did."

Rose smiled to herself, biting the corner of her mouth.

"You know," her mum noted as she worked the product from her roots to her ends. "I don't think I've ever seen you get sick like that. You usually have a cast-iron stomach, like your dad."

"It's a gift."

Her mother tilted her head to the side, still on her train of thought as she started working on their agreed-upon half up/half down style of soft curls and two complicated braids that started by her ears and met under a dainty owl hair pin. Rose had not agreed on the pin, but her mum was convinced it matched her dress.

They compromised.

"Actually," and Rose rolled her eyes at her mum's tone because she could tell she wasn't finished with her previous statement. Gods. "I think the only time I've ever seen your dad randomly projectile vomit – outside of the slugs – was when he realised that he honest-to-god loved me for the first time. We were talking when he got a weird look on his face, and was sick in his cereal. Took him a bit to realise that love had been what he was feeling when he'd gotten sick, but when he put the pieces together, he told me…well, shouted it at me, really. It was quite terrible."

Rose smacked her palm over her face, groaning.

And that was part of the reason why she'd never been good at relationships or even understood them outside of fiction and the telly. She had no idea how they worked in the real world, no idea how to navigate them, and had no clue about anything concerning reading another person's intentions before they flat out told her. Rose had started practicing wandless magic Fifth Year out of boredom and necessity. She had understood most all subjects with little effort, but hardly understood something as basic as her own complicated feelings.

Until recently, Rose hadn't thought much on the topic. Or at all. But then she'd lost her mind, snogged Scorpius twice, and now she'd been elevated to everything he'd ever wanted. And fuck—what was she supposed to do about that?

It was scary mostly, but incredibly frustrating.

Day by day, since the night in front of her building, that irritation had only grown.

Rose had dated plenty of blokes for all the wrong reasons – that much was true. But perhaps the reason she'd dated them was because she hadn't known the right reasons. Well, outside of basic attraction, lust, and their interest in her that had fed her ego and physical desires, but not much else.

And wow, that sounded quite terrible when she thought about it like that. But that had been the awfully accurate portrayal of the calamity of mixed emotions that had followed her from relationship to relationship ever since her first one.

Which was probably why nothing had ever lasted.

Rose found herself wondering what it was that actually made a relationship last. How did the concept of committing oneself to another person even work logically? What was the purpose? What made two people look at each other every single day and make the decision to hold on instead of give up? Why would they even bother when it seemed so hard? Better yet, how could anything work when it seemed like the moment two people found happiness, something new and complicated would present itself and threaten that balance between them?

"You're brooding, love. What's on your mind?"

And even though the thoughts occupied so much of her mind right, Rose could hardly find the right question… even though she wanted the answers. "Uh…"

"I find it best when you just blurt out whatever it is that you're thinking about so hard."

Rose was awfully dubious. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, mum."

And she shrugged, "Works for your dad." Because that was a real answer.

Unconvinced, she took a breath and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"To me, you're everything I've ever wanted."

Which made sense for that to be it because she'd been thinking about that for days – no, weeks.

Her mum's hands froze and Rose watched in the mirror as her face went through a series of complicated changes before carefully stating, "Scorpius said that to you."

And the fact that it hadn't been a question, but a statement felt like a cold slap to the face.

Rose visibly recoiled, sputtering like the old car in her grandad's shed. How the hell had she known? Had Lily talked to her? Rose nearly leapt from her stool – as the conversation had rapidly devolved into something she no longer wanted to discuss, but firm hands on her shoulders kept her seated.

Which hadn't inspired much in the spirit of mother/daughter unity.

"Use your words, love," she said calmly.

Word vomit was becoming a regular habit of hers. "How the fuc—"

"Language."

Rose shut her mouth, rolled her eyes, took a breath, and asked her question again with no swearing. Because she'd inherited her mother's ability to be a complete nightmare, she made certain her mum knew exactly how put out she was. "Pray tell, mother." The responding glare she received made her smirk briefly before sobering, scratching the back of her hand. "I'm being serious, okay? How did you know Scorpius said that to me?"

"Oh, love." Which had not been a good start, but Rose was working on listening before reacting negatively. She'd been doing a better job of it for quite some time. Not perfect, but better. "Do you want the truth or what you can handle right now?"

And that… was complicated. The latter sounded easier, but she'd ripped off so many bandages in the last couple of weeks, what was another one? "The truth."

Her mum hadn't expected the answer, her face said as much, but then she patted Rose's shoulder and ruined her entire day. "I've known how he's felt about you probably longer than he's known." Rose nearly choked on air at that – because before two weeks ago, she'd had no idea. Her mum patted her back patiently until she recovered but then continued on as if she hadn't already said enough. "Honestly, love, everyone knows. Even his grandparents and your dad, who just figured it out after the Gala. Of course, his grandparents aren't pleased, but considering how strained their relationship is with his father because of their disapproval of his mother, I—Rose, you have to breathe."

Ah, yes.

Breathing was necessary, but what was air?

The entire room had constricted around her as she tried to grasp everything her mum had said. What? And she supposed she wasn't breathing well enough because her mother turned her stool around and hugged her close – careful not to mess with her hair creation, but making sure she took a deep breath and instructed Rose to do the same.

She just blinked. What?

But then Rose inhaled and thought about her vicious row with Lily, the things she had said and assumptions she'd made about not giving a damn about his feelings. What feelings? She exhaled. How can he see me as more when you're there? Rose inhaled deeply, allowing her mind to wand further back to her many arguments with Astoria, particularly the last one at the Gala. Then she exhaled until she had no air left. I do wonder if you'll continue to monopolize all his time and prevent him from meeting his future wife?

Every time someone had tried to tell her, she'd dismissed them.

She inhaled and thought back to her talk with Jane and Quincy while paining ugly dinosaurs. What Quincy is talking about are romantic feelings. Exhaled and thought about what Jane had said. You and Scorpius have a special relationship. The same bloody statement that had led to them snogging outside The Burrow. Jane thinks your presence balances my energy.

And what had he said?

Even the mad make valid points sometimes.

Why hadn't he said anything?

But maybe he had been trying to tell her… in his own way.

He'd stayed the night so she could sleep and was always reading something relevant to the dagger research. He ran in the mornings, made sure she ate more than crisps for breakfast, and helped her search for a therapist to help her mental health. He was more open now with the things he said. I wanted to. He smiled and touched her often, his hesitation more tangible than before, but his resolve always seemed to win out. And while Rose had always been tactile with him, now it felt different enough to truly acknowledge the fact that his touch felt both old…

And so very new.

"Are you better?" her mum asked gently, pulling back to look her over. "You've gone so red."

"Um." Rose actually felt like bursting into tears because she was all mixed and messed up; split in all directions, consumed by all the questions in her head that had no answers. But tears felt dramatic, even for her, because who cried because their best friend had feelings for them?

Well, sometimes they did in books, but Rose was in the real world and couldn't let herself.

So, she swallowed repeatedly, breathing deeply and pinching the bridge of her nose until the urge to sob uncontrollably subsided. When she could speak, Rose asked her mother a question that made her so vulnerable she could hardly choke it out. "What am I supposed to do?"

Because she knew right then that she couldn't ignore it anymore.

Scorpius was a problem she had to face.

And she was scared for so many reasons she couldn't articulate.

"I can't tell you." The look on her face was understanding, but also sort of sad. "You have to figure your feelings out for yourself."

That wasn't the answer she wanted to hear. "Just bloody fantastic, mum."

She fixed one of the curls. "How did it feel today when you jumped?"

The question was so off topic that it had taken her by surprise. Rose blurted out the first thing she thought of in response, "I'm just glad I didn't piss myself. That was a real possibility." At her stop-using-humour-to-cover-your-feelings look her mum gave her, Rose sighed and lowered her head, allowing a few curls to fall over her shoulders and spoke honestly. "I wouldn't have been able to do it alone."

"Go on."

"I was beyond terrified, even with him there, but it was better." There had also been Rose's complete trust in him and the fact that she'd had the strange urge to snog him blind after, but she hadn't been able to verbalise any of that yet. It still felt like too much. "I don't know how that question will answer what I'm supposed to feel about all this, but there it is."

"You're my daughter, and I know you're struggling with all this right now. It pains me." And she touched Rose's cheek when she continued. "But I can't imagine what Scorpius must be going through right now."

She almost recoiled.

Her mother was worried about what he was going through? That was bloody rich.

"Scorpius is… very much himself."

"Is he?" she asked, giving her a look with a slight incline of her brow. "Think about it."

And Rose didn't have to because she already knew the answer. He had changed. In a very subtle way that just who he was as a person. But it was there – noticeable to her at certain times. In hindsight, at least. Like after the Gala when he started carrying around the articles. His birthday. The night outside The Burrow when he was cagier than usual. And even today with all his hesitation to touch her.

Her mum didn't wait for a verbal answer before asking another question. "Do you know what's scariest about having feelings for someone?"

Rose squirmed in her seat. "Mum, I—"

"It's not easy, it never gets easier, and he's been sorting through this for quite some time. You see, having feelings for someone forces you to confront your humanity – your shortcomings, anxieties, and fears of rejection and failure. It's painful to sort through all that alone, but you can't help it. Your heart wants what it wants. So, you try to figure them out, try to learn them, understand them. Or maybe by the time you realise how you feel, you already know them, which is probably why you have feelings in the first place. Then, the next step is trying to show them in every way possible how you feel, which is problematic because you can't do that carefully. It's the only thing in life that you shouldn't plan out."

She raised her brow at her mother, who had attempted to plan everything – even the day that Rose was born, but she'd thrown all her mum's best laid plans into the wind by coming into the world three weeks early and angry about it. "Um…"

Her mother gave her a soft look. "I know that's odd coming from me, but it's true. To tell someone how you feel involves laying out your weaknesses, putting yourself at risk, taking a leap of faith, and hoping that the fall won't hurt. For someone as practical and analytical as Scorpius, doing that is incredibly difficult. He's got abandonment issues on top of that, so it was even more difficult for him. But he calculated the risks repeatedly, weighed out his options, the pros and con, and so many other factors that only he knows. But he's done all that and still believes that you're worth the massive gamble he's taken in telling you."

Rose's chest felt oddly tight and tried to swallow the feeling before it strangled her.

"But the struggle isn't over for him. Once the words are out, there's no going back. He's lowered his fortifications and left himself completely defenceless to you. He's given you the power to hurt him… and all he can do is hope against all hope that you won't, that you'll choose to walk through the gates and take care of what he wants to give you."

Her mum reached for the handkerchief on the vanity and Rose wondered why until she felt the tears running down her face. Was she crying? She touched her cheek and stared at her wet fingertips, blinking rapidly. Yes. Yes, she was. "That sounds awful."

"It is." She dabbed Rose's eyes. "I've been where he is, but it's the choice that he's made and he believes you're the right one."

And as Rose mulled over her words, over everything, she cried a little more and found there was nothing to say except one word: "Fuck."

"I'll allow it." Her mum patted her back sympathetically. "But just this once."

It took the clock chiming to signal the start of a new hour for Rose to shake herself from the heaviness she'd been drowning in since the start of the conversation – or the day. Or the last two weeks. Whichever. Fuck. "I-I should get ready. They'll be here soon."

Her mum patted her shoulder once more before she got to work, grabbing the eyelash curler to start the annoying process of applying makeup so Rose wouldn't look translucent. Or like she'd been crying her eyes out.

"Are you going with Quincy?" she asked in an attempt to make a safe subject change, probably to help set her right before she had to go out in public and make a complete idiot of herself.

Rose winced. "Scorpius asked me yesterday."

"Oh." The word came out far higher than normal, as if she were both surprised – and not – all at the same time. "I probably shouldn't have said anything. In fairness, you did ask for the truth."

"The truth is uncomfortable." And painful. Not to mention terrifying and overwhelming.

"That it is." She hummed as she started working, voice light. "But it would be far more complicated and uncomfortable had you two broke the platonic rules of friendship."

Bloody hell.

"Yep," Rose gave a throaty chuckle. "Wouldn't that be awful and completely irresponsible?"

Her mother froze, tilting her head to the side as she dissected her response, separated Rose's words from her expression, researched through her own extensive memory banks to determine what each meant, and—oh, hell. Rose knew exactly what was coming, but was far too late to stop it. Before she could look away, shout for help from her dad, or anything that would distract her mum, she turned on the look.

And Rose was powerless under its weight.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not." Rose coughed weakly, trying to plan her escape. She could jump out the window, but she was quite done with falling for the day.

Besides, her mum had an eyelash curler and a wand… so resistance was likely futile.

"You have a tell, Rose. Every time you outright lie, and not one of your little half-truths, you try to sound too nonchalant, but there's always just a hint of panic in your voice. I don't even think you notice when you do it either." Huh? So that had been what Henrietta was going on about at St. Mungo's? Well, she'd have to work on that as soon as possible. Meanwhile, her mother was jumping to all sorts of conclusions that were leading her down a slippery slope. "And if you're lying—oh gods."

"We snogged twice!" Rose practically shouted, then cringed hard as she watched with bated breath for her mother's reaction. Or explosion. But her mum visibly relaxed, likely because the alternative was not a conversation that Rose wanted to have with anyone. And because well, she'd already come that far, she might as well tell her the rest of it. "On his birthday and after Uncle Charlie's welcome home dinner. The one the day after the Inquiry."

Her mother just blinked three times before she finally said something: "How was it?"

Which had not been the reaction Rose had expected. "Mum!"

In response, she tossed her head back and laughed.

"You're not helpful at all." Rose sulked.

She sobered just a bit, still smiling and looking a touch too excited. "You've never talked about the boys you've dated with me. I know you two aren't, but indulge me a bit. I usually find out about them after they're over…and they're always over quick." And when Rose scowled, her mother's grin intensified. She looked almost manic. "I've always wanted to have chats like this with you."

With a reluctant sigh, Rose rolled her eyes at her exuberance, but answered anyway. "It was…" Like tasting a colour or seeing a sound; like experiencing something so big and intense that it made her feel small. "…good?"

For her efforts at downplaying everything, Rose received a knowing smile. "That good, huh? You're blushing."

"Gah," she covered her face with her hands. "You're not supposed to embarrass me, mum. You're supposed to help."

"There's nothing I can say to help you." At that, Rose peeked out from behind her hands, frowning deeply. Her mother fixed a curl and angled her head up so she could start putting on her makeup. "I can't tell you how you feel, but I can suggest that you don't do him a disservice by taking anything he's said lightly. But I think the fact that you're stressed and wanting to do something speaks louder than you think, especially since this is the sort of thing you would once bury and ignore. Your acknowledgement of it means that you know you need to do something."

"Mum…" Rose groaned.

"Okay, okay." She yielded. "In my opinion, you already know how you feel. It's up there," she pointed to her own head. "And in here," she put her hands over her heart. "It may be all jumbled up with everything else you're going through, but it's there in the midst of all the clutter, so clear it out and you'll find your answer." Then she gave Rose a small, wincing smile. "And when you do, be a dear and not be… well, not yourself about it."

"Oi!" was her instinctive reply. "What does that even mean?"

"You know how you are, love."

Which actually was an incredibly fair statement, because Rose knew exactly how she was.

"I know you're trying harder than I've ever seen you try before, and we agreed to acknowledge the positives and not the negatives," her mum started gently. "With that being said, you aren't the most open person, especially concerning your emotions. You can argue about anything, and sometimes, I'll confess I don't know how your mind works. But you can't talk even about a bit of snogging and—"

Rose snorted out loud and it earned her a look from her mother.

What?

That had been more than a bit of snogging, but she wisely kept her mouth shut.

"Be as open with him as he's been with you. Or try to be, at least."

And then her mother started applying makeup, but decided to put away the blush because Rose no longer needed it. She kept her eyes shut and thought about everything, tried to shrug off the weight of it all, but found it too heavy to move. But then she thought about what her mum had said about Scorpius and his struggles… and resolved herself to take the advice she'd been given.

"What time does everything start? It's nearly one."

"Al, Jane, and Scorpius said they would be here in thirty minutes."

Which had made her mum kick into a higher gear, finishing her makeup and helping her into her dress robes. Twenty-nine minutes later, they stood together in front of the floor length mirror next to the vanity and just looked at the results of her mum's hard work. And speaking of, her mother was the picture of a frazzled parent standing next to her: hair extra bushy, light sheen of sweat on her forehead; eyes cheerful but tired enough to sleep for a week. She clasped her hands together and beamed at Rose's reflection. "You look stunning, love."

Rose had never quite felt like herself when she dressed up, but that day was a little different.

Perhaps it was because she was wearing robes that weren't borrowed. She had purchased them a while back for the secret extendable pockets – where her wand and snacks were comfortably located – but hadn't thought about it for the Gala last month. The dress was mostly white with silver and gold shimmer and intricate detailing. She'd known the material was tulle because that had been the first thing her mum had said when Rose had showed her the dress robes. It felt nice and light. Comfortable even though it was too long. Rose wasn't particularly keen on giving anyone any reason to talk about her by falling on her face.

Or on Scorpius'.

Fuck.

She was in the midst of a cringe when her mum suddenly held up a finger and raced off, returning a few moments later with a book on spells to help with fixing clothes – probably from her grandmum. After a few additional looks, her mother hemmed the bottom with magic so it only swept the floor, giving Rose just a tiny glimpse of her silver ballet slippers – because heels were definitely not on. Then she took it in at the waist a little. "It's not supposed to be too loose there…that's much better."

Rose had to admit it looked better – more flattering – after her mother's small touches.

"Thanks mum."

"I think—" They both stopped abruptly at the faint jingle of the wards that announced the arrival of Scorpius. The wards told her that he was alone, which had been odd because Al and Jane were supposed to come with him, but no matter.

After giving a shrug, Rose left her parents' room after her mother shooed her out because they were going to be late if she had taken any longer. No one was ever on time for a party. Well, except her mum. With a shake of her head, she took the stairs slowly, holding her dress robes up just enough for her to see each foot connect with the correct step.

To make sure she didn't tumble down them. Again.

Peeking around the corner, Rose first spotted him standing in her parents' sitting room listening to her dad as he talked loudly from the kitchen. "The Falmouth Falcons are definitely going to lose their first game of the second half of the season. They're up against the best team in the league!"

Scorpius gave a noncommittal shrug as if her dad could actually see him and said, "Even if they lose, they'll still be ahead of The Cannons."

Which made her dad yell, "Oi!" and drop a few things that sounded like pots.

Rose's laughter brought attention to herself, but she had already seen him first.

Scorpius had abandoned the black robes, bowtie, and vest ensemble he'd always worn to public events, opting instead for a combination that was more casual. More himself. Still proper, but approachable – if a little modest. He wore charcoal grey robes that fit perfectly, a white dress shirt, and a black tie. Simple. His blond hair was parted on one side and slicked back. The only thing out of place had been his glasses, but he fixed them on his face and gave her a small, private smile that had an overwhelming and new meaning after her conversation with her mum.

Everything felt new and weird and that made her feel scattered and disoriented.

"Hey."

Rose awkwardly waved, and made sure she didn't trip over her own feet while she shuffled over to him; the weight of her mum's words resting on her shoulders, but she tried to remain normal. Normal was needed right then. "Where are Al and Jane?"

"I left to come to you because his mum got carried away with pictures." As she had been known to do from time to time. In fact, her aunt had been the one to give Rose her first camera that launched her on-and-off love for photography. It was the only hobby of hers that she'd ever come back to a second time. Scorpius cleared his throat, causing her to look up at him and… well, he looked almost as uncomfortable as she felt.

"Ah, are we going to wait here for them?"

"Al said they'll meet us there."

Rose nodded, looking down at the floor as she found herself worrying about things she'd never thought about before. Well, that wasn't true. On some level, she'd always been concerned about him; always watching out for signs that he was going too far into his own head and pulling him out again. Lately, she hadn't been doing as good of a job; too preoccupied with life's drama, but Rose was determined to be better from then on. For him.

Because, regardless, he'd always done the same for her.

"All right?" Rose asked him, face tense with concern. He was so private and everything felt different because she was part of his troubles that he kept secret from the world.

She wanted him happy, not bothered.

He looked surprised by her question, but then his face softened as a smile slowly spread. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I… I don't know." She tried to smile, but it didn't feel right because of just how hard her heart had been hammering in her chest. Rose settled for a self-deprecating chuckle. "I'm just being my normal barmy self. Ignore me. We should probably go…" The words died in her mouth when his fingers slipped between hers.

She almost jerked her hand back, but their hands were already interlaced.

For the second time that day, Rose looked at him for the first time.

Now, she understood the heat in his eyes and the meaning behind all the intense looks he'd been giving her over the last few weeks. Or months. Years? A shiver went down her spine. Despite her efforts, a picture burst forth in her eyelids of Scorpius in the very moment he'd gripped the blanket and lost all control outside the Burrow and—Rose sputtered.

What was he doing?
What was she doing?

In all the times he'd taken her hand, Rose had never once thought about snatching it back. Not until right then when her tongue had swelled to three times its size in her mouth. But the moment of weirdness abruptly ended when he said, "Your mother's taking photos."

Rose's eyes darted over to where her mother stood behind the smaller sofa, snapping away. And likely had been for quite some time as she'd moved the box of research from the sofa to the coffee table.

In response, she cut her eyes at her mum who just winked. "Be open."

She scowled. "You're the worst." And Scorpius, unaware of it all, started laughing.

Her mother continued snapping photos. "I love you, too. Now, be a love and step closer to her, Scorpius… yes, yes just like that…"

---

Astoria's birthday celebration was held at the centre of the Greengrass Estate's gardens under an enormous invisible dome of magic that blocked out the elements, outdoor noises, and any potential press lurking around.

Not that it mattered, because the weather was perfect for a party.

Only partially blocked by clouds, the afternoon sun bathed everything it could in light, but not too much. High under the dome were colourful sky lanterns, unlit for now, but Rose figured that later, after the sky had darkened, the lanterns would be used to brighten the room with low lighting that still offered a perfect view of an inky sky filled with twinkling stars.

The atmosphere had been different from any other high-society party she'd ever attended, far more relaxed than the gala had been. There was an almost casual feel to the party that Rose hadn't quite expected. The women wore brighter colours while some of the men stuck to more traditional darker tones. Honestly, she had no idea what to expect as she'd never been invited to Astoria's celebrations in the past. As many times as she'd interacted with Scorpius' mother, as much as they argued, she realised that she didn't know much about her as a person… outside their mutual dislike and her tension with her son.

And from looking around, Rose realised there might be more to Astoria than she'd realised.

There were at over seventy nicely-dressed people spread out under the dome – some were strangers even to Scorpius. They were milling around, taking in their surroundings.

And it was a lot to take in.

They spotted Mr. Draco's parents sitting at a table full of rather aristocratic witches and wizards who were all looking around like they had something smelly under their noses. Scorpius made sure they stopped by first. His grandmother hugged him and told him how handsome he looked, while his grandfather nodded politely at Rose.

"Afternoon, Mr. Malfoy."

"Miss Weasley." Rose made certain she kept her face perfectly blank because while his expression was calm and meditative and his voice as smooth and well-modulated as ever, Rose knew he was slick as a recently polished broom. When Lucius spoke again, she couldn't help but wonder if he was trying something new – well, something other than asking her odd questions about fifteen-year plans and Gringotts accounts. "Scorpius told us yesterday that you have returned to work."

"I have." She left it at that because she knew better than to speak too freely around him.

His face twitched and he glanced over at his wife, who was giving him a look similar to the one her mum gave her dad when she wanted him to behave. What? Grey eyes cut back over to Rose and they stared at each other for a moment. It felt like a challenge. Then he asked, "Has it been a smooth transition?"

And despite her confusion at his attempt at small talk, Rose trained her face to remain completely neutral and answered his question. "It has."

Then they stared at each other again.

Definitely a challenge.

"Have you seen my dad?" Scorpius asked his grandfather, giving her the out she needed.

Rose never heard his response because Narcissa was ready with a prim look and a compliment. "Such lovely dress robes."

"Thanks, it has pockets." When she put her hands in them to show her, Scorpius smothered his laughter with a cough. And before Rose could glare at him properly, he allowed his grandfather to introduce him to the others at their table.

Meanwhile, his grandmother looked woefully out of her depth, but managed a smile. "That's nice, dear."

At a loss for words, Rose complimented her vintage navy robes. "You look great, too."

"Thank you." Narcissa's smile turned a bit more genuine, softer, and it was almost bizarre, but not really. While she generally avoided her at all costs, his grandmother wasn't so bad when she wasn't trying to give Rose lessons on propriety. Or stuffy Malfoy family traditions. Rose watched her eyes flicker over to Lucius, who was introducing Scorpius to an elderly wizard wearing his Order of Merlin – Second Class pin, then back at her. "Lucius and I have reservations for the grand opening of Fanged Geranium next Wednesday. Will you join us?"

Us? Rose almost blanched. The thought of dressing up for dinner at a posh restaurant with the short list of those the word 'us' could refer to was the last thing on Earth she wanted to do. She wanted to eat and not have to play nice, think, challenge-stare at Lucius Malfoy from across the table while holding a damn salad fork. Furthermore, the invitation hadn't made much sense as they had never invited her to dine with them before.

"While I appreciate the invitation, I'm having dinner with my parents that night."

"Pity." It was odd because she sounded genuine. "Perhaps next time, then."

"Perhaps."

From there, they walked around and took everything in. The decorations were stunning and the layout of the room only amplified it. There were decorated tables that circled the dance floor where a band played while people danced. They couldn't hear the music, as it had been warded to lock in the sound, but everyone appeared to be enjoying themselves. Outside the dance floor, there was music coming from unmanned instruments and amplified by magic.

The matriarch of the Greengrass family stood not too far away from the Malfoy's table, laughing with several of her friends. When she spotted them, she waved them over with the exuberance she had always been known for. Well that, her temper, love for bold colours, and the fact that she was even shorter than Rose. Speaking of bold colours, Astoria's mother wore knee-length aquamarine blue robes and a matching wide-brimmed hat.

"It's enormous," she whispered to Scorpius as they approached.

He leaned over and teasingly murmured, "Visible from space. Just how she likes it."

Rose was still red-faced from laughing when Scorpius bent over to hug his other grandmother.

"Scorpius, love," she greeted him fondly, pulling back to look at him closely. "It's so good to see you. You look so handsome." She turned her attention to Rose, who prayed she wasn't going to be subjected to a hug of any sort. "Rose dear, as always, you look like a gem. Love that you've kept your natural red. It's so vibrant. That auburn you had was just so dull."

"Um…thanks?" What else was she supposed to say?

She turned back to her grandson. "I do wish you two had stopped to see me first before seeing the Malfoys, but I suppose you didn't see me standing here."

Rose seriously considered slowly backing away and making a beeline for freedom because – well, when the heads of the Malfoy and Greengrass families started up their war of words, tactical retreat had always been the only option.

Outside of the clash between the traditional Malfoy family versus the liberal Greengrass family, the Malfoys had never liked that Mr. Draco had married Astoria against their wishes, and the Greengrass family never liked their treatment of her as a result. They each blamed the other for his parents' separation.

The admittedly few dinners Rose had attended had been like being in the middle of a cinematic standoff: she had no idea who was going to fire off the first shot until someone got hit. Scorpius once told her of a dinner when his grandmother – in the middle of their too frequent arguments about Scorpius' future as the head of the Malfoy family – had sighed and said, "Draco would have been better off marrying Daphne. At least there would have been more children to argue over."

The comment marked the last of their bi-annual combined family dinners, the last time Mr. Draco would speak to either of his parents for a solid year, and the longest stretch between his mother's visits.

Scorpius was far better at navigating through the thorny vines of his family; having the ability to weave in and out with very little effort or wounds. Case in point, at his grandmother's comment, he just smirked and said, "I've saved the best for last."

And she gave him a fond smile in return and playfully smacked on the arm. "Oh, you've become quite the charmer, haven't you?" He just gave her a smirk that made him look so much like his father, who she actually liked. Then she looked at Rose. "How can you resist this face?"

Rose did a very good impression of a fish on dry land.

She could almost feel how red her face had gotten.

"You're adorable," his grandmother grinned at her before glancing over at Scorpius. "Go on, you two. Enjoy the party and its activities." And she shooed them off, turning around to jump back into the conversation with her friends. She didn't seem to miss a beat.

Scorpius' smirk transformed to an awkward little chuckle. "Sorry about that."

"No worries." Rose fanned her face and brought her cold fingers to her cheeks. "It's nice to see her when she and Narcissa aren't at each other's throats in some sort of alpha female cage match."

He laughed.

And to distract herself from her weird feelings, she started looking around. "Now, where are these activities she's talking about?"

It didn't take them long to find them.

In each corner of the room was a different activity: A Seer reading tea leaves, Amortentia smelling, a raffle for tickets to the Quidditch World Cup that summer (proceeds would be donated to towards research into incurable diseases), magical photo booths, fairy wine tasting, floating trays of food for anyone peckish and drinks for anyone thirsty.

Rose found herself most interested in trying everything.

Well, not the tea leaves. Neither of them had bothered to even take Divination.

But first, they purchased tickets for the charity lottery. The line was too long for the photo booths, so they stopped and smelled Amortentia. Scorpius went first and after taking a whiff of the milky liquid, he frowned so hard it made her laugh. "What does it smell like?"

"Like burnt popcorn… soap… and fire…"

Which was odd.

Rose smelled it for herself. "Books… ozone… and something sort of woodsy."

Like sandalwood.

"What does ozone smell like?"

She shrugged as she sat the vial down. "Sort of like the outdoors early in the morning when it's cool and crisp out."

At that response he made a noncommittal noise, and Rose saw a space at the fairy wine tasting table and led the way. They were in no hurry, just looking around, pointing at things and people they'd recognised but hadn't wanted to approach. She caught a glimpse of Quincy and Henrietta getting their tea leaves read and spotted Mr. Draco talking and laughing with three men.

"My dad's friends," Scorpius whispered in her ear and Rose nearly crawled out of her skin at his sudden proximity. Her stomach clenched. "Mr. Zabini, Mr. Goyle, and Mr. Nott. Do you want to say hello?" Rose swallowed when his fingers brushed against hers, thinking back to her mother's words.

I've known how he's felt about you probably longer than he's known.

There was a small rational part of her mind screaming for her to stop, but Rose wanted to turn her head. That little bit that said don't had been easily snuffed out by the more urgent need to look, to see, to know, to satisfy that sudden insatiable curiosity that wondered how close was too close. That little bit in her that wanted to look him in the eye when she answered his question.

Wanted… well, it didn't matter because Astoria practically materialised in front of them. She wore lilac robes and her hair pulled back into a complicated style. She beamed at her son. "You look so handsome."

"Mother." He greeted her with a polite air kiss.

Greetings over, Rose kept her face perfectly blank as Astoria looked her up and down. "Miss Weasley."

"Mrs. Malfoy." And she thought about leaving it there, but she was on her best behaviour at the moment. Because they'd never had an exchange that hadn't ended with one of them storming off, Rose tried. Really tried. "Everything looks great."

Astoria gave her a tight smile for her effort. "Of course, it does." However, before Scorpius – whose mouth opened to retort – could say anything she slid up next to him, sliding her arm around his and linking theirs together. "Before you start frowning like your father, there are some people I'd like you to meet." She looked over at Rose, smiling thinly. "If you'll excuse us, Miss Weasley."

"Mother, it would be rude of me to leave my date alone."

She had a challenging look on her face when she asked, "You don't mind, Rose, right?"

Now, Rose had never been one to back down from a challenge, but it was her birthday and she was giving her latitude as Scorpius' mother. So, she didn't speak the first words that had come to mind – fuck off.

Because that would have been rude.

Instead, Rose nodded and fixed her face into a polite smile that was only marginally forced. "I don't mind. Al and Jane should be somewhere around here." To Scorpius, she said, "It's fine. Go mingle, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

The nod she gave him was softer, more genuine than the words she'd given his mother. "Yes."

"I'll be back soon," And he allowed his mother to lead the way, glancing back at her just once.

Rose stuck out her tongue at his mum's back, which made him smile in response before they vanished from her line of sight.

For several minutes, Rose wandered without a true direction. She wasn't looking for her friends, but had she run into them, she would have liked the company. That all changed when she caught sight of a familiar redhead on the arm of a vaguely familiar wizard. Rose should not have been surprised that her cousin had managed to obtain an invite, considering how she and Astoria had been chatting during the Gala last month, but it felt like a blow seeing her again.

They locked eyes and held each other's gaze for a moment before Rose looked away.

Walked away.

She thought about tasting the fairy wine or maybe taking photos in the booth, but decided against both in favour of finding a table in the corner and continuing with her life-long tradition of being a complete wallflower. It worked for her. Besides, she had a better view.

Rose was alone about an hour before someone joined her.

"Why, if it isn't Rose Weasley."

She knew the voice immediately and turned her head, giving Scorpius' aunt a look that only made her smile. Daphne was probably the only witch in the entire room wearing all black. Her dark blond hair was pulled back in an intricate bun that wasn't at all like her sister's. She was holding two flutes of something that looked bubbly, wearing an almost friendly look on her face.

"Why, if it isn't Daphne Flint," Rose mocked playfully, which made the older witch tilt her head back and laugh.

She handed Rose one of the flutes and nodded when she took a healthy sip. It was sweet and bubbly and she finished it quickly before accepting the second flute she was holding out to her.

"There now." Daphne smirked. "Do you think the wall will fall without you holding it up?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Do you think you could look any less like a funeral attendant?"

Daphne stared at her for a beat, then they both started laughing.

Scorpius had horror stories about her, but Rose had always liked his aunt. She had such a low tolerance for any sort of bullshit and was extremely direct, but Rose thought it had a lot to do with the fact that she was the mother of three wizards.

Daphne was married to Marcus Flint – a wizard her uncle once described as having troll blood. He'd been a major wanker in school, but had mellowed out in some sort of reverse Taming of the Shrew once their parents had arranged their marriage right after the war. Rose had no idea about their marriage, or much about Marcus as he was coach of the Falmouth Falcons and thus was gone for extended periods of time, which suited Daphne just fine. What Rose had known about him was when he talked, nonsense came out, and she'd look at Scorpius' aunt just to see what glorious facial expression she would grant them in response.

"Black is my colour, but you look lovely, Rose. Give me a spin."

She turned carefully in a circle, showing off her dress. "It has pockets."

"Do you have snacks in those pockets?"

"Of course." When Daphne gave a humoured shake of her head, Rose pulled out a bag of sour watermelons and gave the bag a shake. "I wasn't sure about the sort of choices I'd have here. I was pleasantly surprised. I must say, she's got interesting taste."

"You don't know my sister very well, but I don't think she knows you much at all either."

Rose shrugged. "I've never gotten a different look from her, and the looks I have gotten haven't been the best." There was no argument from Astoria's sister. "She doesn't like me, which is almost comforting in its consistency. But she's Scorpius' mum, and he puts up with a lot of shit from her, so I put up with it."

"And speaking of." Daphne was looking off in the distance, slightly frowning. "I know he came with you, but it seems my sister has other plans for him."

She followed her line of sight that led to Astoria, who was smiling and animatedly introducing Scorpius, armed with his Malfoy-media smile, to four well-dressed witches. One of them had actually curtsied like they were in some sort of historical film, which made Scorpius blink in comical confusion, but he shook her hand almost clinically. Then did the same with the other three. When he started to look around, Astoria got his attention and led him to another witch that was standing with her parents.

"Seems that she does." Rose frowned, unsure of why she felt so strange.

"Mother," came the cool, deep voice of Marcus to their right. Rose turned and blinked at the taller wizard. "Rose." He wore all black from head to toe, which made his green eyes the only bit of colour on him. His black hair was slicked back in a way that made him look severe.

Posh and proper, but that was normal for him.

He was the brother she'd seen the least since he left Hogwarts, but also the one she knew best. Still not very well, as he had been two years ahead of her in Slytherin, but they were acquaintances. Marcus lived in Berlin working as part of the British International Magical Cooperation team, only returning for holidays and family events.

"Oh, good, you're here. Entertain Rose until your aunt finishes irritating Scorpius."

Simultaneously, they all looked to where Astoria was talking to another witch while her son's media smile had faded just a bit. "It appears I'll be here for a while then."

Something ugly twisted inside of her.

"Likely." Daphne rolled her eyes. "Well." She clasped her hands together. "I'm going to find more wine since Rose drank all of mine…"

And then she was gone.

Marcus barely waited a moment before he said, "She's my favourite aunt, you know."

"She's your only aunt." His father was an only child.

"Semantics." He waved his hand flippantly. "I was too young to remember her before she had Scorpius and her illness manifested. However, after she recovered, when she came to town, she always made sure to spend time with us. My mother is often exasperated by her love of Muggle activities, but she's fun. When I first moved to Berlin, she came to help me get situated." Rose gave him a bored look, which prompted him to continue, "I know you have a difference of opinion, but she loves Scorpius in her own, albeit pushy way."

Rose had no doubt that Astoria loved him. The problem was that Astoria kept showing up and forcing her way back into all the aspects of his life that she believed she belonged in… and then she would leave again. And now, she no longer fit in anywhere because he'd reshaped those holes in his life and filled them with different people.

She watched Astoria introduce her son to yet another witch. A pretty brunette. His smile had gone stiff and Rose's frown deepened into a pinched expression of disapproval. She had no doubt that she looked exactly like her mum right then.

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked as a distraction from the weird feeling thrumming through her veins.

But also because the conversation was rapidly crossing into uncharted territory for them.

"I've always tried to figure out what it is about you that brings out the worst in her."

And Rose was about to say something self-deprecating to lighten the air between them that had gotten heavier with tension, but stopped herself because she really needed to stop doing that. It wasn't her job to compensate for others, make excuses for them, or tolerate any of their shit in any capacity. She'd made that promise to herself after Lily. "Why does it have to be me?"

The look on her eyes made him backtrack. "I meant no offence, but—"

"Not that it's any of your business whatsoever, but because she's Scorpius' mother, I've not said half the things I have wanted to say to her. Do we argue? Yes, but I never start them. She's had a problem with me since we first met, and I've got no idea why."

"She's threatened by you."

That made no sense at all. "For what reason? She's his mum. She doesn't need to try so hard. Scorpius would be happy if she stayed. Not just here, but in the box that he's put her in until he's ready to move her, but she—"

"Since we're sticking with this analogy, you must know that you're in a better box than her. You're more important."

"Al's in the best box of us all," Rose told him tersely. "It's practically gold-plated, but I don't see her insulting him every chance she gets. She likes him."

"Everyone likes Al." Marcus rolled his eyes. "I even like him and I don't like anyone outside of a select few family members. And you, when you're not punching Joseph in the face."

"That was one time in Fourth Year when he tried to trip me on the moving stairs. He learned a very important lesson that day when I tackled him in the Great Hall and he's been fine ever since."

He looked extremely dubious. "I'm certain he terrorised everyone else except you, your family and friends."

"Like I said. Fine." Because outside of that, nothing mattered to Rose.

She'd never been the champion of lost causes.

Unfortunately, Marcus wasn't done with their original conversation. "Back to those boxes we were discussing, perhaps if my aunt—"

"Perhaps," Rose shot back coolly, "His mother should take what he gives her until he's ready to give her more. She should work on fixing her relationship with him, and not focus so much on my relationship with him."

"How can she fix things with him if you're there?"

"My presence has nothing to do with how she treats him."

"No, but your presence is the reason why they fight so much."

"They fight so much because she won't let him be a fucking adult. She looks at him like he's the same child she left, when he's not. She can't come and go as she pleases and think—"

"You're right," he said with a sigh. "She's not perfect."

"Parents aren't perfect, but we love them anyway." And she had learned that lesson more in the last couple of weeks than anything else. "We accept the good in them and mostly understand that their flaws make them human. There is, however, a limit to what anyone can take and she—" Rose pointed at Astoria who was dismissing the increasingly irritated looks from her notoriously private son in favour of showing him off like expensive cattle. "Is shoving him towards that limit."

"She wants to fix it."

"Then she needs to give up the control she wants to wield over him. Encourage him, get to know him, and stop using him like a fucking prop."

"I—"

She held up her hand and shut eyes briefly in an attempt to maintain her composure. "Look, as much as I've enjoyed this chat," Rose stressed the last word with gritted teeth to make certain he understood exactly how she felt about their conversation. "I fail to see how any of this has to do with me. I'm not the problem. I've never once discouraged him from making amends because it's not my place to do such a thing, despite how I feel about her… or how she feels about me. Don't assume that because we were in Slytherin together that means that you know me, because I guarantee you that you don't." Rose spotted Al and Jane. Bless them both for their excellent timing. "Enjoy your evening, Marcus."

She walked away, feeling his eyes on her. Rose knew better than to walk faster and give any physical indication of her irritation. Still, she was moving a lot faster than Al and Jane, who were smiling at each other, so she ended up catching up with them fairly quickly.

"There you are, Rose!" Al grinned.

Jane's smile was dazzling and after showing off her dress, she finally found someone who was as excited about her pockets as she'd been. Jane herself was wearing adorable robes that looked like a painting of blooming cherry blossoms on a sky blue background. Her hair was pulled back into a low bun… well, except her bangs, but they were swept to the side so she could see. Al wore medium grey robes and a white shirt. No jacket. He'd even brushed his hair for the occasion.

Which spoke volumes.

"Where's Scorpius?" Al asked. "We've been looking around for you two for ages."

Rose looked around until she spotted him and Astoria, then pointed them out. "Over there. His mother is parading him around to all the single witches."

Her cousin cringed. "Ouch."

"Well, that's just pointless," Jane said airily.

Rose was about to ask her what she meant by that when the music stopped. Everyone was then directed to find their seats so that they could serve dinner and Astoria could speak a few words to everyone.

She'd half expected for her seat to be with Scorpius, as they'd come together, but she'd found her card between Marcus and Joseph with Al and Jane sitting across from her. Octavian, Quincy and Henrietta filled in the last three seats at their table. A now visibly aggravated Scorpius had been placed at a completely different table with no less than six unfamiliar witches. He'd been wedged between the witch that had curtsied and another that smiled too much, but he was staring blankly into space.

Which had always been Scorpius' first visible sign of anger.

For the first time, she and Henrietta exchanged knowing looks of worry. Al was trying to make eye contact, but Scorpius was long gone. Too far in his head to bring back. Jane had found a kindred spirit in Octavian and they were talking about their experience bungee jumping earlier that day. Quincy, confused by all the tension, started talking to Marcus about whatever overly pretty men talked about. Joseph looked ready to eat.

Any other day, she would have been right there with him.

At the table between theirs and Scorpius', Daphne sat with his parents and both sets of grandparents. In fact, Daphne sat two seats from her sister and showed every bit of her displeasure. Astoria's mother was frowning distastefully at Narcissa, who had been too busy staring at her son to notice. Mr. Draco was off to the side having what looked like a normal conversation with Astoria, but the air around them seemed to crackle with strain that none of the other guests had noticed. Lucius looked beyond ready to leave.

Rose could relate.

She quickly glanced at the other tables, catching a glimpse of her cousin, who had been seated nearby. She turned around but caught Al looking past her at his sister with a slight frown on his face that matched hers.

So, they still weren't speaking then.

Astoria gave Mr. Draco a tight smile and abruptly walked back to the table. Then she looked over her shoulder, waiting for him to join her. Which he did, taking his seat and looking at his son, mouth tight. Using her wand to amplify her voice, she started speaking to the guests.

"I'd like to thank everyone for coming today to celebrate this special occasion with me. Each birthday is a milestone for me, and what better way to remember it than being surrounded by friends and family from all over?" Astoria started with a smile and nearly everyone clapped politely.

Scorpius hadn't moved a muscle. Rose bit her fingernails and glanced over at Henrietta, who looked supremely unamused. For the first time, she wasn't the recipient of her disapproval.

"Every year, when asked what I wish for my birthday, my wish remains the same. I wish for continued health and happiness, and I also wish that my son would find a lovely and suitable witch to settle down with."

Al nearly choked and Rose cut her eyes over to Scorpius, whose face was still blank, but his ears had gone red. Daphne's glare intensified and Lucius looked far more interested than he had just a few moments before.

"I am so proud of the man he has become, but like all parents, I want to know that one day, when I'm no longer here, that someone – who actually cares about my son – is taking care of him and making him happy. To make that wish come true, I've invited some of the loveliest witches—"

Mr. Draco stood up abruptly and whispered something into her ear. One word, and while Rose had read enough lips in her life, she couldn't read his. His entire demeanour seemed normal and relaxed, but like before, there was something about his expression that betrayed his anger. She had only noticed it because she'd seen the look already. On the day of her inquiry.

Rose looked around again and everyone appeared completely unaware.

"Again," Astoria continued, with a too-wide smile on her face. "Thank you all for coming and please enjoy the festivities. Dinner is served."

Plates appeared before each guest and the music started up again. As did the sound of voices.

Nothing seemed amiss to anyone outside their table.

Mr. Draco made a lead the way gesture to Astoria, and together they left. She kept at least two steps ahead of him until they walked through the wards and out of sight.

Rose stared at her plate. She had been hungry before, but now found herself uninterested. Neither Al nor Jane touched their food, but Jacob next to her started eating. Marcus drank his wine.

Feeling more than a little embarrassed for him, Rose looked down at Scorpius. He'd lowered his head, his anger and humiliation so palpable that she could almost feel it filling the room with frenzied energy that made her skin tingle to the point of discomfort. The witches at his table seemed to notice it as well, as none of them tried to engage him in conversation.

Al started to excuse himself, but Rose held up her hand. "Wait. Al, just… let me."

It was just a feeling she had. It had to be her.

She was on her feet and walking in his direction with no clear plan in mind of what she was going to say to him or what she was going to do. Heart drowning in her ears, Rose could feel every eye at the parents table on her, but she kept hers fixed on him, unconsciously aware. The closer she got, the heavier the air around him weighed her down.

But Rose was determined.

She put her hand on the back of his chair, not at all surprised that he hadn't responded. He looked like he was fighting a war against himself, so incensed that he was almost panicking to keep it all bottled inside.

Rose cut her eyes over to the witch that had curtsied. "Can I borrow your chair for a moment?"

She looked as if Rose had gone mad. "But this is my seat."

Very much like her uncle, she gritted her teeth and used every bit of her slightly below-average height to intimidate the still-sitting witch. "And I'm nicely asking you to get up. If I have to ask again, it won't be nice."

And that was a promise.

She moved and Rose adjusted her dress before she sat down, facing Scorpius. When she glanced up, there were six sets of eyes on her with various looks ranging from irritation to awe. Well, fuck. "Actually, I'm going to have to ask you all to clear out." No one moved. "Now."

Well, that certainly did the job.

Rose never bothered to see where they scattered because they didn't matter. With the rising crescendo of chattering guests loudly enjoying themselves all around them, Rose scooted her chair closer, tentatively reaching for him. Hesitant. Unsure of his mental space and not really knowing what she could accomplish by touch alone.

And yet, she rested her hand first on his shoulder, then the back of his warm neck.

His head jerked up suddenly, making her move her hand down to his lapel, his gaze momentarily sharp as a knife and ready to stab, but before he could, it softened at the sight of her.

She couldn't string together words of comfort as it has never been her thing, so she focused on him – not the anger and agitation rolling off him in chaotic waves – and allowed the silence to speak for her. His hands were gripping his thighs hard enough that the veins were visible and she moved her free hand over to cover one, unable to reach the other.

In the silence, she tucked his hair behind his ears and spoke to him as he had to her the morning after her inquiry. She told him that it was okay, that he wasn't alone, and that they would sit there as long as he needed. Not nearly as eloquent as he had been, but she tried. Maybe the words hadn't been right or easy for him to translate in the quiet between them, but Rose hoped that it was enough because she meant every word of it.

And it was.

Bit by bit, he started to relax. Scorpius took a few deep breaths and turned his hand over, lacing their fingers together, seeking the comfort and foundation she often sought from him. Nothing else outside the two of them mattered. Not her talk with her mum, not the awkwardness, or the odd feelings breaking ground inside of her. She wouldn't deny him.

Couldn't.

Rose gently moved their joined hands onto her lap and rested her free hand on top. His hands were clammy. Or maybe hers were. She wasn't sure of anything except him, her, the constant rolling of her empty stomach, and the pounding of her heart. As Scorpius calmed further, and much to her utter relief, he did little things that assured Rose of his return back to normality. He fixed his glasses with a flick of finger, lifted his eyes to meet hers, and finally… finally, he spoke:

"You realise everyone's staring at us."

She almost laughed. "I literally could not give a single damn right now."

But no, she hadn't noticed that or how quiet things had gotten.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Because they sure as hell weren't staying, Rose asked, "Where do you want to go?"

Scorpius never answered, but they stood together. There was the small matter of switching to the right hand, but once that had been settled, Rose pointedly ignored everyone that pretended not to watch them. However, she caught sight of Al, who was standing not too far away – because he was stubborn as hell – and told him that they were leaving. Scorpius and Al, like the unrelated brothers they were, had an entire conversation with a few looks before the latter nodded, everything sorted.

When they stepped through the wards, all the sounds of music and murmuring voices faded to nothing. The sun was mid-descent in the western sky and the temperature was just a bit cooler than it had been when they'd walked in together. They started up the cobblestone walkway from the warded dome that was only visible to them right then if they squinted just enough to see the shimmer of magic.

For the second time, Rose asked him where he wanted to go.

However, before Scorpius could answer, they heard his parents before they saw them. A clearly furious Astoria was approaching them, eyes focused on the cobblestone beneath her heeled shoes as she argued with his father. "Draco, I have a party to get back to, so if you could spare me the lecture until later, I'll be sure to give you my undivided attention then."

Mr. Draco was not ready to let it go. "You told him just yesterday that you would try. That wasn't trying, Astoria! That was petty, and you know it. If you think that your behaviour is going to do anything except damage—" He stopped abruptly upon seeing them there.

As did his mother, who had been utterly surprised to see them outside the party. She couldn't hide it as well as his father.

"Son. Rose," his father greeted them both, but his eyes were on his son. Understandable. She watched as his eyes shifted down to their entwined hands, back up to Scorpius' face, then he came to the correct conclusion. "You both are leaving." He didn't sound upset, nor did he sound very surprised.

Astoria's face changed as the same realisation dawned on her.

"Yes," Rose answered, giving her the same challenging look that she'd received earlier.

"But the party has only just begun." Astoria frowned. Like that made any difference.

Rose exchanged a blank look with his father, who nodded as if he understood exactly what she was trying to say, which was no offence – actually, all the offence – but fuck that party. He chuckled and walked past Astoria, stopping just a moment to touch his son's shoulder. "I'll stop by tomorrow and bring those books on Magical Transference that you wanted to borrow."

"Okay, dad." The two exchanged a complicated set of looks before Scorpius nodded. "Thanks."

And with that, Mr. Draco continued on toward the warded dome at a leisurely pace.

When faced only with his mother blocking his way, Rose stepped closer to Scorpius, giving her enough room to pass them unimpeded. She took enough steps to pass them, and a few more, but stopped and gave a great sigh. Neither of them had to look to know that she had turned around. "I know you're upset about what I said," Astoria stated the obvious.

Rose noticed the change in his expression before he released her hand and turned to face his mother. She stepped off the cobblestone walkway, putting herself in the same position as a mediator. When he spoke to his mother, there was a chill in his voice that hadn't been there before. "As you said before, you have a party to get back to. You should do that."

"Don't be like that, Scorpius." She stepped towards him and looked hurt when he stepped back. Astoria sounded earnest when she said, "I am sorry for what I said in there. I was out of line."

"Are you? Sorry, that is. Are you?"

"I am," she sounded a little astonished that he didn't believe her. "I—"

"Sometimes, apologies aren't enough."

Because an apology only acknowledged wrongdoing, not the pain her actions had caused.

Rose half expected for him to leave it and determine where they were headed next, but there was a bitterness in him that she'd never seen before. Scorpius had always been self-possessed, but it hadn't been until right then that Rose realised that he hadn't completely put the lid back on his emotions that had gone wild before she'd calmed him down.

"If you think I'm only upset about what you said, I'm more than willing to give you time to re-evaluate your actions over the last twenty-four hours."

Astoria, judging from the way she winced, hadn't needed long to figure out what the hell he was talking about. Rose, meanwhile, had no clue… which truly had been the theme of her entire day. Or life. Whichever. "I'm just concerned about you. Boys your age don't wait like you have. They date and—"

"I have a date, but you insisted on parading me around the room like a prized horse so I never had a chance to—"

"Rose is not a date," she shot back harshly. "Not a proper one." At the almost offended look on her son's face, Astoria softened and amended her statement. "She's just your friend. I know what I said yesterday, but I only said that to stop your father from arguing with me. I still believe that you can do so much better."

Rose stepped back, more stunned by the context clues she'd been given than by Astoria's words.

Honestly, she'd expected them.

Scorpius said nothing in response, just nodded and gave a little chuckle that reminded her of the one time he and James – who felt like Al had replaced him with Scorpius – had fought it out in absolute brutal fashion in the field outside the Burrow during a rainstorm after Fifth Year.

Rose barely had a moment to allow the lone thought of – buggering shit – to pass through her mind before Scorpius started walking towards his mother. In fact, she nearly tripped over her dress trying to head him off. And while she was gathering as much of it as she could, Scorpius rested his hand on his mother's shoulder and said, "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," she replied, looking bewildered but also wary. For good reason. Rose was waiting for the other shoe to drop. "You can tell me tomorrow during dinner after the Quidditch game."

"No, I can't," he said, voice almost chillingly calm. Too calm.

Astoria looked even more puzzled. "Why not?"

"Because I won't be there."

She visibly recoiled. "Scorpius—"

"Enjoy your party." He then turned around, his eyes seeking and finding hers.

Rose froze in place, letting go of her dress. She was absolutely certain that she looked every bit like her dad when her mum caught him late-night snacking. Her eyes shifted from left to right before meeting his again.

In that moment, a strange calm settled over her.

She would see this through with him. Whatever it was.

Rose stood straighter and briefly wondered what was going on in his head because the look of resignation slowly transformed to determination.

"Can you wait?"

She nodded. What was she going to say? No?

With that, he turned back around to face his mother.

"You can be upset at me, I deserve it." Astoria sounded chastened. "But I want you to stay."

"I see no reason to be here anymore as you don't respect me, my opinions, my wishes, or anyone I care about." Rose flinched at his blunt words, but wasn't surprised by them. Scorpius never minced words when he was upset. "You—"

"What I did was in poor taste, but I'd like to make it up to you. If you stay a little longer—"

"You've got some nerve asking me to stay when you've never once bothered to stay for me."

Rose sucked in a breath. Not just at the words, but the hurt in them. It had come from a place older than today. Older than the friendship they'd struck up on the Hogwarts Express. Astoria looked as if she had been slapped and was still reeling. Tears welled in her eyes and Rose felt like crying as well, but for a completely different reason.

For him.

Scorpius ran his hands through his hair multiple times, messing it up. Then, he looked off to the side and down before back at his mother. "I'm sorry," he said solemnly. "I shouldn't have said that." His body was tense, words not so controlled. "I—" He was visibly struggling in a way that made Rose's chest tighten. "I'm not trying to ruin your birthday."

"You're ruining it by leaving."

It all came out in a rush as he lost his grip on the composure that he had held on to so tightly for so long. "And you're ruining me!"

Rose wrapped her arm around her middle, hugging herself as she listened. Waited.

"I've made effort after effort, but all you've ever done is throw it in my face. You disrespect me over and over, and you wonder why I'm so silent, why I won't talk to you or confide in you. I've given you chance after chance due to the fact that you're my mother and I love you. I foolishly cling to the memories of you while you were sick, even though it's obvious that you aren't that person anymore." He made a low, bitter noise that stung. "But at least then you wanted to be my mother on a full-time basis, not just when it suits you or when you want to purge the guilt you feel about the fact that you left me."

Rose felt his words like a physical force. Her throat went dry.

Astoria said nothing at first, still looking pale and physically wounded. "They told me…" Rose watched as she sniffed and wiped the corner of her wet eyes. "They gave me five years initially when the treatments started working. Five." She saw the confusion on his face and smiled tearfully. "This was years before they told me I'd live a half-life. They didn't know. My blood disease has always been fatal. They still take samples of my blood to determine how the treatments work. I wasn't supposed to live—"

"But you did." And he wouldn't let her use that as an excuse.

Astoria nodded shakily. "But when they told me, I didn't know that I would beat the odds. I—" She took a breath and all Rose could see was how desperately she wanted him to understand. "I just thought about the fact that I was still nineteen when you were born. I thought about the fact that I was bedridden every day after. I thought about the fact that I hadn't lived. That I'd married into a family that hated me and I—I just wanted to live." Her hands clenched at her side.

Rose saw it all. Her regret and guilt, but also love. Her love for him.

"I thought if you knew less of me, it wouldn't hurt you so much when I died. But as the years passed and I continued to survive, I… I'd gone too far to come back. I was selfish and wrong. I shouldn't have left. I didn't think about the damage my decisions would inflict on you. I thought you would be fine if I kept coming around, but I didn't think about what leaving would do to you."

"Dad never spoke ill of you. Not once. He did the best he could to make sure I knew the reasons behind your actions. I've never resented you, but—"

"I'm here now. For good. I'm trying. I've been trying, but you've shut me out."

"Because you won't stop trying to control me; you've never stopped trying to control me. You don't like my career, but I help people just like you. I thought you would be proud. You don't like my choice in the people I keep closest, but they were there for me when you weren't. I thought you would appreciate them for the support they've given me. You constantly argue with dad about me, but he never listened to my grandparents and raised me exactly how you wanted. I thought that you would be grateful that he respected your wishes."

Astoria looked hurt. "You've never said anything before. I—"

"I didn't want you to leave. I didn't want something to happen to you. I didn't want to live with that kind of regret. So, I dealt with it. I bit my tongue. I listened to your complaints. I tried to appease you without compromising myself, but I am tired." His voice broke as his fists clenched at his side. Rose was hurt to the point where she could feel tears welling in her own eyes. "I can't take it anymore." And he stood up straighter, staring at his mother. "I won't."

"I know—"

Scorpius straightened his glasses and exhaled with a small, sad shake of his head. "I was recently reminded how, even as adults, we don't stop needing our parents. We're wired like that and it doesn't matter how illogical it is. It doesn't matter how much I want to stop, I can't stop needing you, your approval, or affection – even when you break your promises, even when you publicly humiliate me, even when you parade me around the room like an exotic creature, even when you constantly insult the person I care most about."

Rose took a step towards him, then hesitated.

"You know how I feel—"

"But what about how I feel? Do I matter to you at all?"

His pain was so raw, so big and loud and real that, even though Rose had known about his issues with Astoria, she found that she couldn't imagine how he'd managed to keep it so controlled for so long.

"Of course, you do!"

Not that it mattered anymore. It had been freed.

"Then listen to me." His tone was just short of begging. "Listen to what I said at lunch yesterday. How I feel, it won't change, so accept it and stop trying to change my mind. Stop trying to push me off on other witches and support me. Start being my mother."

"I do this because I'm your mother!" Astoria yelled with mascara tears running down her face. "I care about you, Scorpius, of course I do. I want what's best for you. I always have. I worry about you all the time."

"That's not your job anymore."

"It'll never stop being my job," she told him firmly. "I'm scared that your choices won't make you happy in the long run. I'm worried that you're cutting yourself off from so many other possibilities for some silly teenaged crush. I'm worried that you're giving far more than you're getting in return. I'm worried that you're wasting your time waiting and that she'll crush you. I'm worried that you'll never get what you need from—"

"If it's a mistake, then it's mine to make. You don't get to make those decisions for me."

"You need—"

Scorpius held up his hand. "How can you tell me what I need when you don't know me?"

"How can I know you when you don't talk to me?"

"How can I talk to you when you try to control me?"

"You're young!"

"I'm an adult!" Scorpius shouted with such finality that Astoria backed down.

Rose had never heard that tone from him before.

And neither had his mother.

He ran his hand through his hair again, gathered his thoughts, took a deep breath, and talked to her. "I'm not that little boy anymore. I'm a man. You've never once tried to understand me, my personal and career choices, or even Rose. You took one look at her and immediately decided she wasn't worthy of your son, but she is."

At that, Rose's heart started hammering and she felt light-headed and faint.

Scorpius wasn't done. "I don't need to tell you why. I don't need to convince you. The fact that I care about her makes her worthy."

Which absolutely floored her.

He stepped closer to his mother. "I think you don't understand that what you're doing to her is what dad's parents did to you. How did that make you feel? Gods, they're even trying to accept what I want. They may not agree, but they know how their treatment of you hurt their relationship with my dad and they—"

Astoria said his name in a low warning and Rose could almost feel the bitterness rolling off her.

Scorpius chuckled. It was dark and ugly and her vision blurred from the tears sliding down her face because she hated hearing that come from him. It wasn't right. "You know," he said bitterly. "I have never needed you more in my life than I do right now, but I'd rather suffer in silence than talk to you."

His mother reached for him, but Scorpius stepped just outside of her reach.

"Stop." Scorpius took a hurt, shuddering breath and drew a metaphorical line in the sand. "I've always wanted – no, needed – you, but not this person you've become. Until you're fully ready to assume that role, I need space. I can't keep doing this to myself when I'm not responsible for you or the state of our relationship; when I'm not under any obligation to keep allowing you to try and break me from the inside out in an attempt to mould me into who you want me to be. I can only be who I am right now, and I won't let you turn me into something I'm not. So, when you're ready to accept me and my wishes, I'll be ready to talk to you. But until then, I'm done."

And he stepped off the cobblestone walkway, walking towards Rose. His head was down, but she could see how painful each step was for him; she could feel the tumultuous energy around him. It seeped into her, making her feel heavier than ever before. When he heard his mother's quiet sobs, Scorpius hesitated for just a moment before his face hardened into steely determination.

He took another step. And another.

When he reached her, Rose had no idea what to do, so she opened her arms and held on to him as best as she could. He was shaking when, for the third time, she asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere."

She took out her wand.

Destination.
Determination.
Deliberation.

They were gone with a soft pop.

---

Disclaimer: They still apply

A/N: Hope everyone's staying safe! Not gonna lie, this chapter has been done for weeks. I was trying to get 20 done before I posted, but then I looked up and was like, it's been a month...and I'm working on a fest fic that exploded so, here I am with a humble offering of more angst and a Scorpius FINALLY speaking up for himself (as well as a look into his family I should have done CHAPTERS AGO because of my love for Daphne in this, but we got a lot going on with daggers and killers and such so...oops). I swear, Scorpius hasn't had this much dialogue in this entire story, but every bit of it needed to be said. But also, this is the push in Rose's awakening that's been going on for quite some time on a growing scale...and Hermione coming in to club her daughter over the head? Also planned. LOL. Chapter 18, I think, is the halfway point of the story, but Chapter 20 is like a marker of mine...and this leads right to it. Oh, and just know, the bungee jumping scene? Planned from the start because my title is literal in all ways and I'm crazy. Hope you enjoyed. Stay safe!