In all her dealings with Daryl Lucy now knew that she had gotten some things wrong, many things actually. For example, she never had him pegged as a cuddler, or one for pillow talk and he was both. The dirty talk she figured on and the wild sexual energy she was right about, but this was something she felt like only she would ever see. He kept a lot of himself locked away from everyone, but he allowed her to see the real him, or at least this part of him.
That had happened many times since they had met, she saw glimpses of the real him that he couldn't hide from her. Maybe he wasn't even aware that he relaxed those defenses around her, it was a romantic notion for sure. One that she wanted to be true with her whole heart. Lucy was a lot of things but at the end of the day she was like any other woman. She wanted to be special to someone.
After he pulled her on top of him and fucked her nice and slow that way the second time, they laid on the couch for hours, spooning, of all things and he talked her ear off. She wondered if he had ever had this experience with a woman before, clearly he knew how to fuck, but it was more than that.
Again he had told her as much in many different ways.
Their conversation went from their tattoos; Daryl had three, Lucy had twelve, to their favorite foods; pizza for both of them, to what they missed most from the old world. Lucy missed music festivals and Daryl missed cold beer.
That night they learned so many little things about each other and the conversation between them just flowed. He was hesitant, but there was something important he needed her to know.
Daryl said that intimacy was not part of his life, and he had never given oral sex before. Had he always gotten up and left any woman he was with after the deed was done? It seemed so. Now he was clinging to her on a couch in the middle of nowhere with her underwear in his back pocket.
"We got off on the wrong foot..." He began, as he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist, "I liked you, still like you, and it felt strange. I never like anyone."
"Not ever?" Lucy asked.
Daryl took a deep breath and just decided to be 100% honest with her, another first, to let someone know him that well. Merle had been the only person who knew him at all and this was so much more than that. It was like she had some power over him, and he couldn't not tell her things.
In the past weeks it had at first made him mad at himself for being weak and needing her. For his attraction to her that was immediate and different than anything he ever felt before. Their banter made him want her for his own, even if he didn't want to face it at first.
Now they had both dropped their walls.
"Lucy, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never been with anyone more than one night, and I never stuck around to talk afterward." He was cautious about spilling his guts, but he also couldn't really stop it, he wanted her to know him and he wanted to know her. That was a first, women were for fucking, as long as they were willing, but she wanted to be friends.
He didn't know just how badly he had needed that.
For the first time in his life he saw a woman as someone he wanted to talk to, her opinion on things mattered to him. He had said he didn't want to be "just friends" but he longed for companionship with her specifically.
"Am I?"
"Different," He answered right away, "You blow my mind, I can't think when you're around, it's all just reaction, like walking a tightrope."
"Yeah, I feel that way too," Lucy murmured.
"You're the first person I think about when I wake up, the last one I think about before I close my eyes." Might as well tell her everything, he thought to himself, once the vault was open, he couldn't stop the flow of thoughts that he wanted her to know about.
He didn't tell her that on the nights she couldn't sleep and would get up and wander around the camp, he always knew about it, he always knew where she was, from that first night. He suspected she knew about that, but she had never said anything about it. Daryl saw himself as her protector and she allowed him that.
"So this is for real?" She asked.
"As real as I've ever had…"
"It happened fast…"
"No it didn't, it's been happening for weeks," He answered and that gave Lucy pause, he was right of course.
This had been happening between them since the first time they laid eyes on each other. The stress of the day had propelled them forward to act upon their emotions.
"I know you tried to talk me out of this, but I promise this isn't because I was upset…"
"We're going to find them, don't you worry about that."
"I know," She pulled his arms tighter around her and they were quiet again. Which was fine but there was so much he wanted to know about her. He wanted to know about her life in Pittsburg, about nursing and what made her who she was. "Dixon you are in deep" he thought to himself. His fingers played with her hair, he was calm with her, at peace.
"What's your favorite book?" She asked.
"Watership Down." He already knew hers, it was the same as Merle's, "To Kill A Mockingbird." He knew she was a Metallica and Misfits fan so he didn't need to ask her favorite band.
Lucy remembered their brief conversation about Lost, her favorite show, one of the characters read it on the show, and he reminded her just a little of Sawyer, "Because of Lost?"
"Maybe…" He teased, "What's your favorite disco song?"
"Boogie Fever," She answered immediately with a laugh, "Yours?"
"Lovetrain." He replied, "You can learn a lot about someone by what their favorite disco song is…"
"So very true...did you ever swim in the Quarry where we were camped or go to the skate board park down the road."
"Yup as a kid and teenager all the time, you?"
"I did, do you think we might have been there at the same time, maybe walked past each other and didn't know it?"
"Maybe, I'm thirteen years older than you though…"
"Let it go," She advised, aware that he had already mentioned their age difference. Obviously that really bothered him and it didn't bother her at all. She was attracted to him and that was all that mattered.
"I'll try, but it's one of the reasons I decided to stay away from you." He had tried so hard too, but fate had other ideas, obviously.
"Reasons? Like you have a list…" She giggled.
"Yeah, wanna hear it?" And she nodded, "Ok, your age, your attitude, your loud mouth, The Misfits…"
"That's a pretty big list, but I have one too."
He laughed, "I'm sure you do…"
"They're similar except your age doesn't bother me in the least, that mouth though?" She nodded, "Always been a problem."
"Except about half an hour ago when my face was between your legs." Daryl teased, "You didn't have any problem that I recall."
Lucy full on laughed then, "Right, except for then."
She rolled over to face him so they could share a cigarette, and Daryl reached up on a shelf for his cigarettes and lighter. They smoked in the darkness and he promised her they would find Marylee and the others.
She believed him too, Daryl was a lot of things and one of them was a man of his word. They talked for a few more minutes and she settled back on the couch, with her head on his chest.
"Come on, lets get some sleep," He pulled her close against him again and rested his chin on her shoulder. His hand went to her hair and he played with it, spinning it around on his finger absentmindedly, "We got a long few days ahead of us."