Chapter 18: Dr. Scientist and Mr. Calvin
"You know, amidst all this talk of the Duplicates and Moe, I keep forgetting about this other joker..." Calvin remarked.
"Even though he's basically the reason why they've been able to cause billions of dollars in property damage and instigated a manhunt against you?" Hobbes questioned.
"Well obviously its because he isn't the brightest!" Dr. Scientist piped in.
"Oh yeah? Well I'll have you know that I'm a card-carrying certified genius!" Calvin shot back.
"Not this again..." Hobbes said sighing.
"Oh really? And who made it?" Dr. Scientist inquired.
"Myself! Who else would you expect to make one for a misunderstood genius?!"
Hobbes sighed as he lied down and decided to take a nap, figuring this argument would take a while.
"Well little Cal, if you're a 'misunderstood genius', then you aren't actually a genius..."
"Then what does that make you?! Mad scientists probably aren't understood by anyone!"
"And that's where you are once again, wrong! For one, I'm an evil mad scientist! I graduated as Valedictorian at the School of Evil and I was able to go straight to work at the Evil Villain Intergalactic League! And I was immediately able to become Doctor Scientist! Which establishes one as an evil genius and a proud member of E.V.I.L.!"
"So you're a quack then! You can't become a doctor until you go through med school!"
"I'M NOT THAT KIND OF DOCTOR YOU DUMMY!"
"THEN WHY EVEN CALL YOURSELF A DOCTOR?!"
"BECAUSE I CAN!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he pressed a button and a cannonball blasted out of his mini-tank.
Calvin ducked quickly and the cannonball crashed into the wall.
"Oh? We're fighting now?" Hobbes said groggily as he woke up.
"Not just yet... I didn't get a chance to do my little spiel yet. I would've done it had the kid started making stupid remarks." Dr. Scientist explained.
"STUPID?! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT-"
Hobbes covered Calvin's mouth just to humor Dr. Scientist.
"Much better..." Dr. Scientist said approvingly, and then cleared his throat, "So, we've finally met in the flesh... I mean granted, we've only met like, one other time maybe? I don't really remember... And that was over a video call..."
"And you were under the assumption that was the only time we were gonna be meeting as well... Which was wrong, of course." Calvin pointed out.
"Oh shut up!" Dr. Scientist exclaimed annoyed, "You should've been dead a long time ago!"
"I mean, its kinda hard when you keep putting him up against what is essentially himself..." Hobbes remarked.
"They had tons of stuff to help them out! Yet somehow they blew each and every time!" Dr. Scientist said annoyed.
"Probably because they aren't that bright like the original." Hobbes explained.
"HEY!" Calvin exclaimed as he slapped Hobbes.
"Their failures really did prove that..." Dr. Scientist conceded, "But they were still able to cause some havoc, and I'm gonna make sure that all of this didn't go to naught, once I finish with you two fools!"
"Oh yeah? So basically you're saying that you can't take over the world because of a genius six-year-old and his ferocious tiger? That's pretty sad..." Calvin remarked.
"C'mon, all evil guys have tons of flaws and holes in their plans..." Hobbes pointed out.
"ENOUGH!" Dr. Scientist boomed as he launched another cannonball at the two, and they both dodged it.
"You sure are a lousy shot..." Calvin commented.
"Okay that does it! I'm tired of playing pleasantness with you two morons! You may have gotten through your other clones, but nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever gotten through the impeccable genius of Dr. Murdoch Zenith Scientist!" Dr. Scientist proclaimed.
"Right..." Hobbes said doubtfully.
"But before we begin, a little music..." Dr. Scientist said as he grabbed out a jukebox and pressed play.
I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot!
"Ignore that..." Dr. Scientist said quickly as he pressed a couple buttons, and some far different music began playing.
"That's certainly a change in music..." Hobbes remarked.
"NOW, PREPARE TO FALTER TO THE GREATEST EVIL SCIENTIST OF THIS GENERATION!" Dr. Scientist screamed as he began shooting like wild out of his mini-tank. Calvin and Hobbes had to run around and dodge all over the place.
"You're too slow!" Calvin said tauntingly.
"That was just a warm up!" Dr. Scientist shot back.
Dr. Scientist then launched a barrage of fireballs at the two, and they quickly had to dodge them.
"HOLD! STILL!" Dr. Scientist screeched as he then launched a barrage of ice-balls at the two.
And once again, they dodged them.
"I think we found someone that has a worse shot than you... And that's saying something..." Hobbes remarked.
"OH COME ON!" Dr. Scientist exclaimed in frustration.
"Give up yet doc? I think it might be the best for your current mental state." Calvin asked tauntingly.
"Give up? Oh, if you think that I'm gonna go into the night that easily, then you've been sorely mistaken..." Dr. Scientist said in a sinister and serious tone.
"That's not good..." Hobbes said wincing.
And Hobbes was right, Dr. Scientist started heading right towards the two in his mini-tank, and he was coming at them fast.
"So should we split up to confuse him?" Calvin asked to Hobbes.
"Yeah! Then he'll crash into the wall, and then I can pounce him from behind!" Hobbes said excitedly.
"Are you sure? You may have pounced me an infinite amount of times, but this guy is a lot different than pouncing me." Calvin inquired doubtfully.
"Hey, trust me on this." Hobbes said, putting his paw over his heart.
"Alright, but if this fails, you're never gonna hear the end of it." Calvin conceded.
Dr. Scientist was about ready to run the two over with his mini-tank, but at the last second, Calvin and Hobbes got out of the way.
"WHAT THE?! GET BACK HERE!" Dr. Scientist said bewildered as he tried to turn the mini-tank around, but ended up crashing into the wall.
As he attempted to back out of the wall, Hobbes held true to his promise and pounced Dr. Scientist from behind.
"AIIIEEEEE! GET OFF ME YOU MANGY FELINE! ACKPTH!" Dr. Scientist screeched.
"I almost feel bad for the guy..." Calvin remarked wryly.
"So, still doubting my ability to pounce anyone besides you?" Hobbes asked proudly as he came back to Calvin.
"You exceeded my expectations for once. Don't push it." Calvin replied back.
Dr. Scientist was finally able to back the mini-tank out of the wall, and turned it around, aiming it at Calvin and Hobbes.
"THAT DOES IT! I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY A STUPID KID AND HIS TIGER! THIS MEANS WAR!" Dr. Scientist yelled out as he pressed a button on the mini-tank, but nothing happened. He continued to press it furiously, but still nothing happened.
ERROR! ERROR! TANK IS UNABLE TO FIRE! ERROR! ERROR!
"Confound it!" Dr. Scientist exclaimed in fury as he banged his fists on his control panel, "If I can't shoot stuff at you fools to finish you off, then I'll guess I'll have to do it through some good ol' fashioned vehicular homicide..." He said sisterly as he once again started off to run over the two.
"The fact that he said that nonchalantly tells me that this isn't the first time he's done this..." Hobbes remarked.
"Ya think?" Calvin replied, "How do you suppose we tackle it this time?"
"Beats me. I don't suppose you want to-"
Calvin began running headfirst into the mini-tank.
"Uh... I'll just watch this one out I guess..." Hobbes said, somewhat concerned.
"AHAHAHA! YOU WON'T BE LUCKY THIS TIME AROUND!" Dr. Scientist cackled as he and Calvin were charging towards each other.
When the two got close, Calvin jumped on the mini-tank's gun, and threw a punch at Dr. Scientist, but he avoided it.
"Get off you ninny! I wanna destroy you in a more destructive way!" Dr. Scientist exclaimed as he tried to shove Calvin off the mini-tank.
"I'd like to see you try Doctor Doofus!" Calvin shot back as the two continued to flail their arms at each other, all while the mini-tank was still moving.
"LOOK OUT! YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GO STRAIGHT INTO THE SEWER WATER!" Hobbes exclaimed.
Calvin and Dr. Scientist looked and noticed that they were right at the edge of it, and Calvin quickly jumped off of it, and Dr. Scientist went crashing into it.
"GAH! HELP! NO! SOMEONE PLEASE! CURSE YOU FOOLS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! I'LL GET YOU!" Dr. Scientist yelled as the sewer water sent him and the mini-tank far off, away from the two, who watched until Dr. Scientist was out of sight.
"Impressive." Hobbes commented as he gave Calvin a high-five.
"That's right! Nobody can ever outsmart Calvin: Boy of Destiny!" Calvin exclaimed proudly. Hobbes just rolled his eyes.
"So how do you suppose we get out of this sewer place?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin looked around, and noticed that a door was hidden off where Dr. Scientist had originally entered with the mini-tank.
"Hey! There's a door right there!" Calvin pointed out to Hobbes.
"Do we know where it goes though?" Hobbes asked.
"I don't have a clue, but I would assume it goes up, right?" Calvin suggested.
"I mean it could, but it might go down further. We don't know how far down that sewer goes." Hobbes explained.
"I doubt it goes down fleabag, do you really think that lunatic has someone working with his sewers?" Calvin replied back.
"He could though." Hobbes said, trying to prove his point.
But then, Calvin and Hobbes realized that the sewer water was rising, and was starting to flood.
"Forget if it goes up or down! Lets just take it before we drown!" Calvin exclaimed as he and Hobbes rushed to the door and entered, and had a staircase going up.
"Of course you were right. Just another thing to boost your ego..." Hobbes said sighing.
"Would you rather be dead furball?" Calvin asked to Hobbes.
Hobbes looked and saw that the water was coming dangerously close to them.
"Lets just hurry up the stairs, shall we?" Hobbes asked hopefully as he and Calvin made a mad dash up the stairs.
The stairs led to a pathway, which zigged and zagged, went up and down, and kinda went all over the place truth be told.
"How much longer are we gonna have to keep at this?" Hobbes asked in between pants while running.
"Probably until we can outrun this rising water and find an exit!" Calvin replied back, also in between pants while running.
Then, after going up another staircase, a door laid ahead.
"There it is Hobbes! Are one-way ticket to get out of this mess!" Calvin exclaimed as they busted through the door, and continued running briefly, until realizing something.
"There's no floor under us, is there?" Hobbes asked.
"Nope." Calvin said blankly, and the two fell down until they hit a mat.
"At least we didn't drown..." Hobbes remarked wryly.
"I think anything is better than death at this point..." Calvin said exhausted.
"Well... well... well... Lookit who finally decided to show his face..." A familiar voice said.
Calvin and Hobbes looked up.
It was Moe.