Team Disaster: Origins Of Infamy
Summary: From the day they met to the day they made history, snippets in the lives of Konoha's infamous Team Disaster, their nearest and dearest and the devastation and chaos they cause.
Strut Baby, Flex Those Muscles
It's been a long time since Izuna had this much time to spend with his older brother. Madara was often out of the village or too busy with missions within the village that they usually only had the early mornings and late afternoons to themselves to just spend some time together and usually, they weren't even alone. Mito lived with them and the Snowflake was an everyday presence for almost as long as Izuna can remember, as well as Hashirama, that tree-huger loudmouth.
Now, it's not that Izuna overly minded their presence, because usually their cousin Touka came along since she was older than them and usually played the role of supervisor (babysitter, though none of the Senju would ever call it as such) and Izuna rather liked her - he even had a crush on her, not that he would ever admit that out loud where Madara might hear him - so it was okay. But it still bothered him when he and their younger brothers only got to see Madara for a few hours a day while the Snowflake and Mito got to spend sometimes days in their eldest brother's company. It wasn't fair but Izuna knew that life by default wasn't and instead focused on becoming stronger so he can go on missions with his Aniki as well.
Minato-sensei's long mission, though, came with the benefit of Team 4 staying within Konoha's walls until he not only got back but had sufficient rest time as well, which mad it nearly nine months of Team Disaster unleashing all of its disastrous tendencies and energy on the poor citizens and buildings of Konoha. The Sandaime was cursing the day she had taken the hat from her sensei but Izuna didn't mind all the chaos happening around the village.
As long as it wasn't Madara being kidnapped again or the Senju brothers fighting over stupid shit, he was fine. Hell, he even got more time to spar with good old Tobi again! They hadn't sparred since the special Snowflake skipped years and ended up graduating with Madara and Mito before even Hashirama. Though Izuna would have liked it if Madara had told him his old school rival had mastered Sage Mode sooner rather than leave Izuna to figure it out on his own a few days after his brother signed that contract with Ryujin-sama. (And no, Izuna did not give his father the cold shoulder because Tajima had purposefully stirred him far away from his mother when he had been looking for his own kyuchiyose contract. He wasn't that childish, damn it, no matter what Keichiro might say.)
So, he had nothing against Team Disaster being 'grounded', since it finally gave all five Uchiha brothers a chance to go to the onsen together since before last year's Chuunin Exams. Madara had been hesitant to go, saying he would much rather stay at the one in the Uchiha Compound but there was nothing Izuna, Keichiro, Asama and Hiroto can't get their eldest brother to do, especially if they even hint at an attempt to guilt trip him because of his absence. Madara never got angry about said attempts and was instead proud of them for being so sneaky, like proper ninjas. Asama and Hiroto were always insufferable afterwards while Keichiro always got a bit flustered about the praise. All it did for Izuna was make him want to train more and become even better.
"This is great, Aniki! We haven't done something like this in ages! You'll let me wash your back for you, right?" Izuna couldn't exactly contain his excitement as they stripped in the changing room Madara had rented for them, smiling at his older brother as the teen took off his shirt. It's been a long time since Madara had dressed in anything other than those long robes from the olden times that he liked so much for some reason. Izuna was never going to tell him that he thinks it's for the flair and the dramatics, mostly because it would reveal the reason why he usually likes to wear them, too, though not nearly as much as Madara.
"No way! We want to wash Aniki's back!" The twins immediately protested, pouting at the two eldest, by which Izuna was not moved at all. He was just as cute so he was immune to their baby brothers' evil ways!
"Yeah, well, too bad. Aniki has only one back and you two pipsqueaks are far too short to reach most of it." If he only just barely refrained from poking his tongue out at them, well, no one had to know about that.
"Aniki, Izu-nii is being mean~!" And said Uchiha gawked at the audacity of he brats for daring to tattletale on him! Right in front of him!
Madara, the traitor, only chuckled. "Izuna, don't be mean to Asama and Hiroto. Asama, Hiroto," he interjected before the little devils could celebrate their victory and Izuna could pout. "Don't bully your Nii-san. As much as you are all my little brothers, Izuna was there first." Izuna puffed up at that, enjoying perhaps a bit too much when Madara ruffled his hair despite it meaning that he now had to rearrange it before he could even pull it into a bun. Again. "Besides, Keichiro is my favorite so he gets to wash my back."
"Aniki~!" And Madara, the bastard, just laughed at them as he took a towel and all but ran out of the changing room and into the showers, ignoring his whining brothers that rushed to follow. Still, despite their pouting and prodding and teasing, there were huge smiles on all of their faces by the time they got out of the showers with only towels wrapped around their waists, Izuna's and Madara's long hair pulled up into messy but efficient buns.
The smiles fell from the two eldest's faces when they stepped into the public bath and found that bastard that dared call Aniki a fiend and that Hyuuga jerk already enjoying themselves in the same pool as they had chosen. "Oh, look! It is the despicable Uchiha Madara and his youthful brothers! Welcome! Please join us, our fellow Konoha shinobi comrades!"
"Is it too late to change our pool?" Izuna couldn't help but ask and hated that he knew the answer even before he looked at Madara's grim set of lips. He didn't stop it this time. He pouted. Great. This was the absolute best way to irritate Madara into silence and make the air tense. Way to ruin their day together.
"What's wrong, Uchiha? Afraid of a little water?" Hyuuga - Izuna thought his name was Hitoni or something; he used to go to the same class as Madara and Hashirama before Madara, Mito and Tobirama skipped a year, two in Tobirama's case, and graduated early - said condescendingly, only for his question to be answered with a snort coming from another doorway.
"You are aware of how often I near drown him on the training field, yes? Even if he was, it would be a perfectly reasonable reaction at this point." The Snowflake himself says even as he and an excitedly waving Hashirama usher their own younger brothers into the outside pool. Izuna noted that Itama still seemed to be recovering from that accident during that stupid D-rank mission. Whoever thought that hunting down a ninneko that came from Sora-Ku of all places was a good mission for the first few months as a genin? They should be arrested for stupidity. Izuna hadn't met many ninneko, only the ones that hung around the Uchiha Compound, but he knew they were fierce and tricky little rascals. He'd had to hunt one down as one of his own genin missions, after all, but at least he'd known not to underestimate them and he'd already awakened one of the earlier stages of the Sharingan. There was no way Itama's team could have been ready for that, not if their sensei had nearly been blown up by the temperamental tabby.
You just don't piss ninja cats off.
"If we were going by that logic, you should have a near phobia of fire by now, Senju, and yet you find your way to the Uchiha bonfires all on your own just fine," Madara said with a snort and finally moved to get into the pool, Izuna hurrying after him so he could steal a space by Madara's side as the other one was already being fought over by Asama and Hiroto, both of them glaring death at the Snowflake. Izuna will never understand their rivalry with his former rival over Madara but it was damn funny to watch. Of course, then the Senju Ghost cheated and used that Hiraishin Team 4 as a whole seemed to enjoy using and ended up sitting right next to Aniki, ignoring the pouting and complaining of the two youngest Uchiha while Keichiro just made his way over to Itama and Kawarama, the three boys already in deep conversation about one thing or the other.
Bushy eyebrows frowned at Tobirama even as Madara settled their youngest brothers and gave them something to entertain themselves. "That was not very youthful."
"I didn't know you guys were coming here today," Izuna was quick to interject lest this idiot try to attack Aniki again. Damn it, Izuna had planned this outing with the specific idea in mind to get Madara to destress already! Kaa-san and Mito had returned just a few days ago and were catching up on everything that has happened in their absence but the Uchiha matriarch was slowly taking her duties back from her eldest son, meaning Madara was still rather busy. This was their day to relax. Not entertain stupid Maito Dai.
"Oh! Otou-san all but threw us out of the house after the fifth explosion this morning so Itama decided we should spend the day pampering ourselves at the onsen!" Hashirama explained excitedly and Izuna tried not to smirk at the explosion part or how his older brother was already puffing up to lecture his younger teammate.
"Seriously, Tobirama? What did you do now?"
The white haired boy scoffed, crossing his arms even as he automatically started relaxing in the water. Izuna wondered what that felt like, being so in tune with your chakra affinity that mere contact with it made you relax. His primary affinity, like in every Uchiha, was fire, but nowhere near on the same level as was with Madara, and his secondary affinity was lightning, so that couldn't possibly be so pleasant.
"I will have you know that I have managed to make an almost exact same copy of the special green food pill the Akimichi make only for their clan members, only with far less devastating aftereffects on the user's chakra."
Izuna whistled. "Okay, damn, that's something to be impressed by. But why did that cause explosions?"
"I'm experimenting with only a list of chemicals Torifu-san indulged me. I had to figure out the proportions myself and then figure out how to prevent the ingredients from causing harm to the body after their effect wears off. None of those special pills even remotely resembles the food pills we get for missions. I was on the verge of a breakthrough when Otou-sama grew sick of the ground shaking under his feet. I'll just have to continue testing tomorrow."
"If you manage to figure that out, I'm pretty sure Torifu will try to marry you to his niece, the clan head's daughter, Choko was it, so the Akimichi could add you to their family," Madara joked and Izuna had a first row seat to watching the second eldest Senju's face scrunch up in distaste. "Still, that's really something to be proud of. Though you might want to interest Tsunade-sama in your experiments so she wouldn't throw a fit every single time something went boom in the Senju district."
"I think she's currently too busy trying to turn Touka into an alcoholic over at the woman side of the onsen to worry about my explosions." There was a long, telling pause as the teens and preteens all stared at the Senju. "What? Tsunade-sama, besides being the Hokage, is not only human, too, but is our aunt or some such relative and she likes Touka. Though I think she dragged Kushina-sama, Kaa-san, Mito and even Ryukyu-sama with her and Shizune-san. A girl's day out or something."
"Eyes up front, Hyuuga," Madara and Izuna hissed immediately and the Hyuuga glared at them, supposedly offended. "And better keep those eyes just like that or there will be trouble," Madara added, his own eyes whirling into the red of the Sharingan, Izuna quick to follow suit so he may protect Touka's and their mother's and practically sister's virtue.
"Come now, Uchiha. Surely you understand the want to take a peek? You are a man under that towel, yes? Or is the rhombus on your forehead telling us all something?" Izuna had actually completely forgotten about the violet rhombus seal tattooed into the skin just above the bridge of Madara's nose. It was usually covered either by his hitai-ate or by his fringe, seeing as it shielded almost an entire half of his face. It was rare to see it so openly on display as it was now, with Madara's hair pulled back in the bun.
"Your point?" Tobirama asked with a deadly pointed tone, arching a snow white eyebrow and drawing the attention to the red rhombus on his own forehead. The Hyuuga ignored him, eyes focused on Madara, faint veins starting to bulge around them. Izuna snarled but was also ignored in favor of his brother. The tension was suddenly so thick that it was suffocating.
"I mean, we know only Hokage-sama has that mark and no one else. Are you trying to tell us something, Ma-da-ra?"
The two had an intense stare off, Byakugan against Sharingan, neither backing off and Izuna wondered if they'd get banned from the onsen when the fight inevitably destroys this pool and forces both the Uchiha and the Hyuuga to pay the debt for the repairs. Then Madara smiled the Kaa-san smile and Izuna got shivers down his spine. From the corner of his eye, he saw Asama, Hiroto and Keichiro shudder just the same and the four brothers subtly moved the slightest bit away or out of their brother's way should he lounge. It was testament to how well they knew each other both privately and as teammates that Tobirama already looked ready to jump to Madara's aid should he need it. Izuna liked his teammates, don't get him wrong, but he's not sure if they'd ever achieve the level of trust and understanding Team Disaster has between them.
They all watched in some sort of stunned incredulity when the eldest Uchiha present slowly stood up, seemingly inch by inch in slow motion like it was some sort of striptease and Izuna wanted to cover his eyes and murder everyone for staring ... Only Madara ended up being his bastard self and used a signless futon jutsu to gather the steam from their bath around his waist until he could fetch his towel. Not a true deterrent against the Hyuuga doujutsu but Hitoni or whatever his name was seemed to stunned by the mocking to even try seeing past it as he had been silently threatening.
His Aniki casually walked - more like strutted, since he knew everyone was watching - over to one of the large boulders that were a part of the wooden fence - gotta be economic. Besides, the rock was there first and it was a landmark on how far the property was the onsen's and what belonged to the village - that was facing the far east side of the cliff of the Hokage Mountain and where there was nothing else but rocks and some less healthy pools of hot water that were no good for bathing. Madara turned around to keep eye contact with the Hyuuga with still that same scary smile on his lips as he casually placed his fingers as though to flick someone on the forehead for being silly. Except when he flicked his fingers against the boulder, numerous cracks started appearing on its surface until it was completely covered in them and one third of the stone turned to fine powder, the rest crumbling into a pile of miniature pebbles.
"Is my message clear, Hi-to-ni? Or must I speak louder?"
"So cool!" Gushed the younger Uchiha and Senju brothers while Izuna went pale as a sheet.
"Uh, Aniki?" He pointed a finger behind Madara and everyone turned their focus on a completely distracted old man with long,shaggy white hair, dressed in some red clothes and with a huge scroll slung on his lower back, sitting on some rock with a notebook on one of his knees, a pen in one hand and binoculars in the other, a flush to his cheeks that was decidedly not from the steam coming from any of the hot pools and a perverted grin on his lips as he gazed in the direction of none other than the female side of the onsen.
He only looked up when he felt the intense spikes of killer intent from nine protective sons/brothers/cousins (two of whom had a crush). "Uh-" Before he could even start making excuses, Tobirama was by Madara's side and there was a stream of liquid fire hurtling towards the pervert. Izuna and the younger Uchiha were not far behind their brother in breathing fire and firing lightning on the man and not even the pacifist Hashirama held back when he made wooden spikes grow out of the ground in an attempt to skewer the pervert.
"What's going on he-!? Jiraiya!?" Tsunade-sama had hauled herself up over the female side's fence to check on the ruckus, only to pull up short when she, apparently, recognized her former teammate. Izuna couldn't help but gawk along with everyone else. That was the third member of the Legendary Sannin? One of the strongest shinobi of the Second and Third Wars?!
"Hey, no time no peep- I mean see, Tsunade-hime!" The man said rather jovially given where he'd been caught and what he'd been doing when he'd been caught.
"Were you spying on us?" The blonde asked in a very deadly whisper, her eyebrow ticking. Izuna gulped, backing away just in case he was somehow in the danger zone, especially when the Sandaime's companions all joined her in glaring over the fence. With his Sharingan he had the moment preserved in perfect clarity when Jiraiya of the Sannin realized how grave his situation was and paled to match his hair. He also was blessed to now have a perfect memory of Touka's naked, wet biceps flexing in preparation to kick ass. He may as well be in heaven. If he died right at this instant, he'd die happy.
"N-no, of course not! I'd never disrespect ladies such as yourselves! I-"
"Team Disaster," Tsunade said in an authoritative, deadly voice that had them all shutting up and the three members of said team stiffening, preparing for action. "I want him begging for mercy before sundown."
"Yes, Hokage-sama," Mito - who had, by the way, used some very useful futon jutsu that Izuna was sure everyone would ask her later to teach them to dress herself into her usual battle garb - Madara and Tobirama all said perhaps a bit too eagerly, the two boys using Hiraishin to disappear into the changing rooms and reappear already in their pants and tying kimono shirts at the waist. Jiraiya looked from Mito with chakra chains forming around her to Madara with his gunbai to Tobirama with his Raijin no Ken and kissed his dignity goodbye as he fled from the scene.
The three gave chase far too eagerly.
"Kushina!" Not a second later, Madara's sensei arrived in one of his yellow flashes, looking a bit frazzled, dragging a disgruntled Hatake Sakumo along. "My pervy senses are tingling! Did Ero-sensei come back to the village?"
"That's still creepy as fuck, Minato," the man's wife said honestly and Izuna had to agree.
"Oh, dear," Sakumo-sensei said as he frowned in the distance. "Is that your team, Minato? It looks like- Ah, never mind, there's the Kyuubi."
Minato-sensei went pale and Tsunade-sama cackled as he disappeared to attempt to save his former mentor's life.
"So, um," a hesitant Itama spoke up, drawing everyone's eyes to the skunk-haired Senju. "Lunch?"
"Sure. My treat, even," the Hokage said and Izuna lit up, forgetting all about his brother chasing down a Legendary Sannin when he saw Touka agreeing to tag along. Sure spending time with his often absent older brother was nice and all but this was lunch with Touka! Score!
Maybe he'll even get to see her flex her muscles more!