The sun was already set when Dutch and the others reached them. Once they got their feet on the ground Miss Grimshaw started to yell orders at least to set up the tents. Only Pearson's wagon was set since he had to prepare the stew for that night.
To eat they all sat near the fire on pelts and covers, chatting about this and that.
Julia ate quickly and then she walked away to seat on the little harbor in front of the lake, admiring the stars and their reflex on the deep water.
Between her hands, she had the gold bar Morgan had given her and in the other the letter she wanted to send to D.
Looking at the gold bar she felt guilty for having taken it without thinking twice. Besides, that man had given it to Arthur since he was the one who had brought him back to his family.
Her thoughts were stopped by some heavy spets behind her who made her turn and cross her eyes with Hosea's who stopped in the middle of the harbor.
"Should I leave?" he asked.
Julia shook her head, hiding the gold bar and the letter behind her thigh.
The man sat beside her, staying quiet for a while and admiring the view.
"It's a good spot, isn't it?" asked Julia.
"Yes, it is. I asked Charles how you found it. He told me about your honorable act and how you convinced Arthur to help that poor family"
"I didn't convince him, he had no choice at all"
Hosea chuckled before he returned quietly again.
"I just wanted to say that I'm thankful for all you're doing. The Pinkertons and Leviticus Cornwall are no jokes, and you're risking your own life to save us, even if we don't deserve it"
Julia shook her head, looking in front of her the calm waves of the lake.
"What I'm doing is taking my money and trying to stay true to a promise I made" she answered.
"To who?" asked Hosea.
Julia lowered her eyes on her hands joined on her belly while she was playing with her sleeves.
"To a man who saved me" she answered in a whisper looking at Hosea.
"May I ask you who this man is?"
"Probably not"
The man stared at her for a moment before he moved his eyes.
"Do you want a cigarette? I've found them at the saloon. Someone must have left them on the counter" he said taking out of his pocket a pack of quality cigarettes, surely not the one someone would forget on a saloon.
Julia smiled and nodded taking the pack from his hand and when she gave it to Hosea, he shook his head and did a gesture with his hand.
Julia took a match and lighted her cigarette, inhaling deeply.
"Are you sure you didn't steal them from a poor bastard?" asked Julia observing the cigarette between her fingers.
Hosea chuckled.
"You got me"
Julia smiled looking away.
After some minutes she felt the old man moving beside her and when she turned to look at him her eyes were caught by the object he had in his hands.
It was a small bracelet in pearls with a small, gold medal with a J inlaid on it.
Julia inhaled slowly, moving her eyes on Hosea who was smiling while touching lightly the bracelet in his hands
"I've been keeping this since the day we lost you. Susan sold all your things but this. She gave it to me and I… "Hosea stopped and sighed, moving his fingertips on the medal.
"For so many years I've been looking at it, thinking about how we could have done this to you, how we could have abandoned you. At first, I blamed Dutch, then I realized it was my fault. I brought you in this life and I should have come back to get you, but I didn't"
Hosea turned to look at her, waiting for her to say something.
But what she could say? She felt the heart in her throat and her mouth was suddenly dry.
Without looking at him, she brought the cigarette between her lips and inhales, hoping that the smoke could have melted the knot in her guts.
"I know that you suffered, Julia…and I'm sorry. I know there's no forgiveness for what we did to you"
After a few seconds, she threw away her cigarette and exhaled, creating a small white cloud that soon disappeared over their heads.
"Surely, I can't forget what you did Hosea, what you all did. And I am so tired of carrying around the burden of regret. I tried to forgive you, I really did. But I can't pretend that what happened is gone forever because it's not. I'm going to take my money and then leave. That's all I can do"
Hosea stayed silent nodding a few times.
"I understand, my dear" he answered.
Julia nodded and returned to look at the lake.
"Here. This is yours" said Hosea giving her the bracelet.
Julia looked a tit before she took it. It was exactly how she remembered, the feel of touching it was the same too.
She didn't have the time to thank the old man, that he got up to go away.
"If you don't mind my dear, I'll go lay down"
"Of course" answered Julia and hinted a smile.
She gave him the pack of cigarettes, but he refused it with a gesture of his hands.
"Keep them. I'm already old and sick enough" he said before he went away.
Julia stayed there for a few minutes longer, enjoying the fresh air of the night while feeling a strange sensation within her.
She looked at the bracelet in her hands, while the memories came back to her one after the other.
She shook her head trying to get them away and then she put the bracelet away and headed to her tent.
Julia opened her eyes not feeling for the first time after months the desire to close them again.
She sat up while the sunlight passing through her tent lighted the few objects she had and her untidy covers.
After a few yawns, she got out her tent and took a few seconds to stretch her back and look around noticing that not everyone was awake and that the camp was not still ready.
She walked towards Pearson's wagon, but the cook wasn't there already and once she got her cup of coffee, she walked towards the lake sipping the hot, bitter liquid while admiring the twinkle of the water.
Turning her head to the left she saw a few meters from where she was, Dutch who was, like her, looking in front of him with a small, peaceful smile on his face.
"How you doing, old friend?" said the man turning to look at Morgan.
"Fine" he asnwered.
"It's funny…us ending up down here. My daddy died in a field in Pennsylvania, fighting this lot. I ever tell you that?" asked Van der Linde.
Arthur smiled looking at his feet.
"Many times…"
"I see I'm boring you, Arthur"
"Worrying me…we lost men back there" answered Morgan.
"We have loftily goals, Arthur. We're trying to reform society to a kinder, truer, better way, now of course there's gonna be casualties" said Dutch and Julia could swear that Arthur wasn't convinced at all.
In fact, Arthur tried to look everywhere but Dutch's face and when he turned his head towards her, his eyes locked with Julia's ones, maybe even for too long.
As soon as he realized he was staring at her, he turned towards Dutch again.
"We're thieves…in a word that don't want us no more"
Julia raised her brows, surprised by the man's words.
Many times in her time spent with the gang she had thought that he was nothing but a stupid, dull idiot who followed Dutch's orders without asking or thinking. Yet, at that moment, with those modest and melancholic words, it seemed to Julia that he was questioning Dutch's authority and ideas that maybe weren't so right after all.
"We are dreamers in an ever duller world of facts, now I'll give you that, but come on…We got the day. It's nice out" answered Van der Linde walking towards him and passing him.
Morgan looked at her for a moment and after he exchanged a look with her he followed Dutch.
She observed them while they got to their horses, hearing the name of Hosea slipping out of Dutch's mouth before she returned to her coffee.
She asked her where on earth they could have gone and most important what other damage would they have done. However, she decided that for that moment she would have put Van der Linde aside and focused on something else.
The question was: what?
She started to wander around the camp, noticing the others get up and work under Miss Grimshaw's orders.
The woman was near one of the wagons where Charles was unloading the small furniture they had.
Julia observed the woman for a moment while she was telling off Tilly for something she wasn't sure of.
Sighing she decided to get closer to them.
"If you're not gonna help us, then leave us alone. We got a lot of work to do and we don't need another useless slacker in this camp" said Miss Grimshaw as soon as she saw her.
"Actually, I came here to help" said Julia.
She woman snorted and looked at her, noticing soon after she was serious.
"Why would I let you help us? After all you said to me?" she asked.
"Because, as you said, this camp's full of slackers and if you want to be done before sunset then let me help you"
Miss Grimshaw scanned her for a moment with her arms crossed on her big chest while Charles stayed quiet, a chair in his hands waiting patiently the woman's decision.
"Fine. But you do as I said"
"If you ask nicely, I'll be glad to obey, Susan" answered Julia taking of the chairs that Charles gave her.
Julia could swear she heard the word "insolent" coming out Susan's mouth before she continued to help Charles to unload the wagon.
Then, after the woman's indications, they moved chairs and tables, spreading them all over the camp, but the fact that Julia was helping didn't get unnoticed by the others.
"Finally you put that girl at work, Susan" she heard Sean say while he was laying on the ground, looking at the others working.
"There's no one on the watch, why don't you do it, Mcguire?" asked Julia looking around.
"I don't feel like it"
Julia reached him, looking at him for a moment with her head bent lightly and a fake smile on her face.
Then she kicked him hard on his shin making the young man jump and moan.
"Did you feel this? Now got that ass up and work" she said taking a near rifle and outing it in his hands.
"God you're a pain in the ass…"
"NOW!" howled Julia and the young man went away murmuring something.
""Finally someone put you to work", eh Sean?" said Lenny who had assisted at the scene.
Shut up darky answered the other annoyed.
While the other girls were washing the clothes at the lake and Charles was chopping wood Julia, under Miss Grimshaw's vigilant look, transported some sacks of flour near Pearson's wagon, gave the horses some hay and filled the bucket at the lake.
While she was coming back, she saw Mrs. Adler while she was chopping vegetables for the stew and she didn't seem pleased at all.
"Howdy" Julia greeted her.
The woman turned to look at her.
"Morning"
Julia got closer, looking at her working.
"How you feel? I know you've been grieving" she said and the woman stopped for a moment her work.
"I'm better. Still not fine, but better" she answered.
Julia nodded.
"I know how you feel. I've been in a similar situation"
"You lost someone you loved?" asked Mrs. Adler surprised.
"In a way" answered Julia.
The woman looked at Julia for a moment, like she was about to ask.
"I'll leave you at your work. I don't want Miss Grimshaw to blame you because of me" Julia said walking away and soon after she headed to her tent.
However, she couldn't reach it that Charles stopped her.
"Are you free?" he asked her.
"Maybe, why?" asked Julia back.
"We need meat" he simply answered before he walked towards the horses.
Julia sighed following him.
Once she put the saddle on Wind Catcher, she got on him and with Charles left the camp. On their way, on which Julia didn't pay attention, too much lost in her thoughts, she noticed suddenly that Charles was staring at her and turning to look at him she asked him:
"Why you staring at me?"
The man shrugged looking at the road once again
"I know what you thinking, why on earth did I help you to set the camp? The answer's that I don't know. I just wanted to do something, keep myself busy I guess" said Julia.
Charles stayed silent making those words even heavier for Julia who couldn't stop them from leaving her mouth.
The truth was that even she couldn't tell why she had helped them. Maybe she actually wanted to keep herself busy so she would have not thought about the shitty situation she was in. Yet, she knew that something else had pushed her towards that wagon, an instinct she couldn't control as usual.
Suddenly she felt her heart racing and that seemed to be anxiety invaded her body while she realized that she had let one of her most terrible fears to became true.
She was letting her emotions and memories to drug her back to that life she had promised herself she wouldn't have lived anymore.
But, it was different, in a way.
She didn't let Susan mistreat her or tell her what to do, she had chose what to do and how to do it. And she didn't let Sean mocking her but she had put him in his place and she humiliated him too. So, she didn't lose control, did she?
She felt cheered up by her own thoughts, but despite them, that single thought was still pinned in her mind and only when Charles stopped and got down from Taima, she left it on the back of her mind and tried to focus on the hunt.
Once she got down from Wind Catcher, she took her bow and followed Charles's movements while he was studying the ground.
After more or less ten minutes, Charles signed her to stay down and she obeyed following pointing finger that was indicating a young male wild boar.
"Go ahead" whispered Julia looking at Charles who nodded and stretched his bow aiming at the animal.
After a few seconds, the arrow flew through the woods and hit the boar who fell dead with a yelp.
"Sometimes I wonder if you ever missed a shot" said Julia while they came back to their horses, the boars on Charles's shoulders.
"My mother taught me how to hunt. I wasn't good when I started but I kept practicing" he simply answered putting the animal on his horse.
"I see" answered Julia looking at the man, but her mind was still full of thoughts.
The man stepped ahead and put a hand on her shoulder. Julia stiffed in her place but then relaxed recognizing that warm touch of his that for months helped her during the most difficult period of her life.
"You did well today. And even if Miss Grimshaw'll never admit it, we needed your help"
Julia gave him a hint of a smile, feeling that pain in the gut fade way.
"Thank you Charles" said the man and she nodded before she got on her horse after him.
"We need more meat. Let's go" said Charles and Julia followed him.
When they came back to camp, with a couple of rabbits and a turkey beside the boar, Julia saw Morgan in the distance while he got down a boat with Hosea and Dutch.
She saw Arthur exchange a few words with him and then he headed to Pearson giving him a few big fishes.
She got down Wind Catcher and took the small prey while Charles took the boar and together they walked towards the supplies wagon.
"This is the best day of my life!" said Mr. Pearson looking at them drew closer.
"I brought you the turkey you asked" said Julia putting the animals on the table in front of the man.
"You remembered" said Pearson chuckling.
Julia smiled before she exchanged a look with Arthur.
"You had fun?" asked Julia while she got a pack of cigarettes out of her bag.
"Kind of. We met Trelawny in the way. The idiot got into trouble with the law, so we had to free him" explained the man taking a cigarette from the pack.
"Please tell me you didn't kill anyone yet" she said with an exasperated tone.
Arthur shook his headì.
Julia sighed inhaling from her cigarette and turned to look somewhere else.
"So, what's Dutch's plan?" she asked soon after.
Arthur sighed.
"There's two rich families. Apparently, they don't like each other. Dutch asked me and Hosea to investigate" he said and Julia rolled her eyes.
"So, you gonna "lie low" as always, don't you?" she said ironically throwing her cigarette away.
Then she turned towards Arthur noticing again the same expression he had that morning, melancholic and worried.
"Probably not" he answered in the end.
That night after dinner that she ate while Lenny asked her questions about her carrier of bounty hunter, she walked towards Wind Catcher preparing him for a long ride.
In a few minutes, she reached the main street and followed the road towards Valentine while she kept thinking about what she would have done and said to mislead the Pinkertons once again.
The problem was that Milton surely already known that they had headed towards South-east since they couldn't go towards west because West Elizabeth was off-limits for Dutch and the gang needed a place near them where they could buy and rob and all the options led to Rhodes.
When she reached Valentine, the muddy streets were barely lighted by the lamps outside the shops and houses. Julia could see a couple of people talking near the saloon from were loud music and chatting came out.
As soon as Julia saw the big white tents in the distance, she sighed.
At the entry, the two agents recognized her and let her pass and after she got down Wind Catcher she headed towards Milton's tent.
Suddenly she felt her heart beat faster and louder, so louder she could feel it in her ears every step she took. Her hands started to shake, and she closed them in two fists to calm down. She was afraid that this time she wouldn't be able to hide her lies like that morning she hadn't be able to stop herself from walking towards Miss Grimshaw.
Damn, Julia! Compose yourself. It's gonna be alright.
"I need to talk to agent Milton" she said at the agent who was in front of Milton's tent.
"Agent Milton's eating" said the agent.
Julia bent her head giving him a dirty look.
"For all I care he could be shitting right now. I have important news, so let me pass" she repeated with a louder tone.
The agent looked at her for a moment, then he moved aside and let her in.
As the agent had said, Milton was eating but this didn't stop her from walking towards the table full of alcoholics and pour herself a whiskey.
The man looked at her in silence without any emotion on his face while he continued to eat his steak.
Julia drunk the whiskey in one draught and then she left the glass on the table.
"I've found them" she said and the man's expression changed instantly.
Milton abandoned the cutlery on the table and cleaned his mouth before he stood up.
"I found the spot they were camped. They must be near" said Julia staring at the man in the eye.
Take agent Abney and his men. Go look around and come back when you have an idea where they could've go said the man with a light excitement in his voice.
Julia nodded and then she got out of the tent finding the young agent still there.
"Where I can find agent Abney?" she asked.
"He's in that tent" said the young man pointing a tent not so far from them.
Julia headed to the tent and not finding anyone outside it she entered seeing agent Abney while he was smoking a cigarette.
"Oh, Miss. What a surprise to see you here" said the man getting up and making her a gesture to seat, but Julia didn't move.
"We need to go. I found Van der Linde's camp and Milton asked me to check it with you" and your men
The man left his cigarette in the ashtray on the table and then took his jacket quickly following Julia outside his tent.
"Agent Rogers, Murphy, Harris, Grady. Come with me" called the man heading to the horses while Julia was following him.
Turning to her left she saw agent Grady who smiled at her but didn't returned the smile and sped up to reach Wind Catcher, not seeing agent Grady's confused expression.
"Where are we going, Miss?" asked Abney when they all got on their horses.
"South of Valentine. Follow me, gentlemen" she answered and spurred Wind Catcher.
On the way, that didn't last much, Julia could feel her anxiety grow inside her while she questioned herself what it would have happened if they had found any evidence that would have blown up her double-dealing.
The idea of letting them find Van der Linde and take him crossed her mind. Of course, she would have got half of the money, but this story would have ended and she could have come back home.
Or maybe they could bring you in for being an accomplice until now. Think about it, to die for Van der Linde.
Her conscience was right. She had to hold on and make everything go off smoothly. Yet, it could have been all so easy if only Dutch and the others had known how not to lie low. But instead, they caught the government's attention on them.
When they finally reached Horseshoe overlook, Julia stopped in the middle of the road and turned to look at the wood on her right. Abney understood the glance she gave him and followed the small path followed by his agents.
Julia stayed still looking at her breath coming out in small grey clouds from her mouth. It was cold, but she didn't feel it even if she had light clothes on.
Sighing, she decided to follow the others.
Abney had already got down his horse and the same did the other agents to take a look around.
"So, you think they were here?" asked the agent getting closer to her while she got down Wind Catcher.
"I don't think, I know they were here" answered Julia looking around.
"Mmh…and how so?" asked again Abney.
Julia looked at him.
"I've been with them for a long time. They were used to build up the camp in a circle way with Van der Lind's tent in the center, at least three fireplaces and the wagons over there, not too close to the tents. If you go looking around you can still see the traces" explained Julia.
The agent nodded and walked away under Julia's stern look who looked around again before she reached the cliff and looked down.
With the darkness of the night, she couldn't see beyond the path under her and suddenly she remembered her seated with Jack while eating candies.
"Christ, why you had to screw things up?" she asked, but she wasn't sure if the question was for van der Linde or herself.
"Are you alright?"
Julia snapped around taken by surprise from that voice.
"Yes, agent Grady. I'm fine" she said with a cold and detached tone.
The young man frowned not understanding the reason of her coldness. Il
Julia sighed and rubbed her forehead.
"I'm sorry I've…I've been pretty busy these days and with Van der Linde gone…" she said trying to convince Grady, and it was not so difficult after all.
"I understand. Don't worry, it's gonna be fine. We're gonna catch him" said the young man.
Julia shook her head staring into space.
"I doubt it" she answered in a whisper barely audible, but unfortunately for her Grady heard it.
"I promise you…" said the young man getting closer and putting his hands on her shoulders.
Julia turned to look at him, surprised by that touch from which she thought to get free for a moment.
"…Van der Linde will hang and with him all the rest of his group of criminals"
Julia looked in the agent's eyes finding his usual naive and sweet gaze.
If only you'd known.
Julia felt his grip tightening on her shoulders, then his hands left them to set at the base of her neck.
"Thank you, agent Grady" said Julia in a whisper.
In a moment, the young man pushed his thin and slightly chapped lips on hers in a chaste kiss.
Julia's eyes widened while her mind struggled to realize what was going on.
Soon after the young man stepped back looking in her eyes, his cheeks red while a thrill crossed Julia's back, not understanding if it was because of the cold or something else.
"It's Nathan"
Julia did to open her mouth and say something, but suddenly agent Abney showed up.
Nathan withdrew his hands from her neck and turned to him while Julia looked at the man.
"So, Miss…you have any idea of where they could have gone?" asked Abney moving his eyes from Grady to her.
Julia blinked for a couple of seconds not sure about what to say or how to say it.
"I've followed the wagon traces up to Scarlet Meadows. Then I lost it, but I think they're somewhere near Dewberry Creek or…Eris Filed. There's a lot of places where to hide up there" she said with an apathetic expression and even voice.
Abney nodded looking elsewhere.
"Okay, that's it we're going back to camp. You wanna come with us, Miss? I'm sure we can find you a place where to stay" said the agent giving agent Grady a malicious look.
Julia forced a smile.
"I'll be fine by my own"
Abney nodded before he left and when Julia turned to look at Nathan again she found him staring at her with an embarrassed smile on his face.
"Be safe" he said before he brushed her hand with his and walk away with his superior.
Julia looked at him going away and when the last agent disappeared in the wood she turned again towards the cliff and sighed closing her eyes for a moment.
"I'm screwed"
...
HI EVERYONE!
I want to say something...this chapter was A PAIN IN THE ASS.
I don't know why, but I struggled so much to write it because I couldn't think of anything and then...the illumination came to me and well...you already know what happened.
If I've to be honest, was quite a surprise for me too, even if I knew something would have eventually happened, just not so fast but...HEY, even the writer can't decide some things in his own story.
So, I hope you enjoyed it if so let me know! I always love to read your comments and I'm sorry if I don't reply to all of them but the thing is that they are so sweet that I don't know what to write to express my gratitude!
Anyway, I'm gonna get out of your hair.
HORSE KISSES!