Hope you're still with me, I know the last chapter was a rough ride. This the beginning of the healing process…Cheers!
Elonat looked over to see Shran come through the sickbay doors. She hadn't yet seen him in the two days she'd been here. Tesil came at least twice a day to check on her. And Soval made his new quarters the biobed next to hers. Soon after going to warp, the Andorians had released the remaining Vulcans from their quarters now that they were in what would be Federation space once they signed the accord. The Enterprise was set to rendezvous with them within the hour to retrieve the Andorians and take them elsewhere, for punishment or reward, Elonat wasn't of a mind to care either way. She was just thankful soon she'd be on land again and some sort of normalcy could begin to build.
"I uh," Shran's antennae waved but, mostly, remained downcast and tilted inward, "I wanted to talk to you before we left."
Elonat pushed against her palms on the biobed, hoisting herself further up. Shran looked to Soval then back to Elonat. She understood his unspoken request and nodded to Soval. He looked reluctant to leave, but it took only another moment before both he and the doctor retreated from the room. Elonat still felt physical pain inmanys areas of her body, but it was the emotional pain that kept her in the bed and diminished in spirit.
"What is it, Shran?" Elonat's voice was still hoarse from all the screaming she'd done during birth and the screaming she'd done in the hours after in between the medicine-induced sleep cycles.
Shran clasped his hands in front of his body and wrung them together, "Your child should never have died."
"I know that."
"I mean," Shran swung his arms out as he took to pacing next to her bed, "you should never have put yourself at risk like that. Soval was right; you should have remained on the ship. If you had, none of this would have happened."
Elonat sighed. She'd been through this emotional rollercoaster a thousand times already, sometimes taking Soval with her, but usually facing it on her own as she obsessively rode it. The Vulcan doctor had determined the transport beam during her labor had likely been part of the cause of death. The additional stress of the mission could have also factored into the loss. But then, also, there were many other unknowns and possibilities and they were unable to determine in fact what precisely the problem was, especially without the body to examine.
Elonat knew from her own family's history that the chances of survival between species were limited, and her father had been a miracle. The rational, still logical side of her brain was unsurprised that even in this advanced time, the risks of interspecies breeding were high and the chances of survival low. The irrational side lay in anguish at the loss of both her child and its body to mourn over.
They'd outrun the far superior Romulan vessel, but in doing so, they'd abandoned the body of her child. Elonat tried to convince herself that they would do scans, determine Jikain as the father, and would honorably dispose of the body. She trusted Jikain not to be so far gone into the realm of bastardry not to do that for his own child.
"Shran," Elonat interrupted his pacing and self-condemnation, "we don't know that for certain. The same thing could have happened on this ship or Earth. Now that you know more about my history, you understand that such things are more liable to happen." She'd allowed Soval to inform Shran and Tesil of pertinent bits of her past to help assuage their guilt. She'd known they'd felt guilty, though they'd said nothing of it to her. Barely acquainted with them, Elonat already understood enough about Andorians to know that losing a child was of monumental pain to them, and they did not take her loss lightly. "It hurts that I lost my child. I will mourn and wonder at the what-ifs and could-bes for many years to come." She reached out a hand and waited until Shran hesitantly placed his hand in hers. She squeezed it, "Please, raise your daughter in health and safety. She deserves a long and peaceful life. Do that, and this pain will be better weathered."
Shran's antennae wavered, "I will forever be in your debt, Elonat." He placed his other hand over hers, "If you ever require anything, and I mean anything, you know who to contact. I'll be there."
"Thank you," she smiled at him as he let go her hand, "I know this may annoy you, but," she gave him the traditional Vulcan salute, "live long and prosper, Shran."
His antennae drew back, and she saw a smile touch his lips. Though he didn't return the salute, he dipped his head in a formal nod as he bowed his torso toward her. He backed away, and after one last look of gratitude and sympathy, he left sickbay. Elonat had already bid Tesil goodbye and had gotten a similar though less emphatic promise of aid from him.
Elonat wasn't alone in sickbay long. Soval returned with a PADD in his hands. Without explanation, he handed it to her. She raised an eyebrow.
"Elonat? You there?" There was some rustling, a curse, "Damn, is this thing working?"
Elonat looked at the PADD, but aside from a display screen with various Vulcan words on it, she didn't see the source of Brenna's voice. Perhaps it was like an old telephone voice but no visual.
"Stop pushing buttons," another voice sounded through the PADD, but it was too garbled to tell who it was at the moment.
Elonat smiled, "Yes, yes, I'm here, Brenna." She felt tears wet her cheeks. "Are you there, are you still on Enterprise?"
"Yes, she's still here causing trouble."
"Jeremiah." Elonat's smile grew. "It is good to hear your voices." She looked to Soval and mouthed her thanks. He bowed his head in response before leaving the room again. "I take it we only have a little while before you're out of range again?"
"Something like that," she heard the annoyance in Brenna's voice, and it made Elonat smile, "hey Elonat, I suck at communication and shit like that so I'll just come out and say it. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could be there with you, eat chocolate and watch movies, or play pranks, or just pet you while you cried. Whatever you needed, I wish I could be with you to give it."
The dam broke, and Elonat's face flooded with tears as she felt her body give a great heave of emotion.
"Thank you, Brenna," she choked out the words, "that means a lot."
"Elonat," she heard some rustling through the commlink and imagined Hayes and Brenna shifting closer and further away from the microphone as they took turns talking. "My sentiments echo Brenna's, and also, I hope you still have my mother's contact information. If you need a home, Elonat, one without judgment and out of political limelight, understand you've got one, guaranteed."
Being able to retreat from the public arena was tempting. Perhaps that could be her next destination after she settled for a time at the Vulcan embassy. But only time would tell what it was her heart needed or wanted.
"Thank you, Jeremiah. Please, keep yourselves out of trouble until you get back, and we can see each other again." Already the connection was growing more garbled, and she knew they weren't long for talking, "I miss you guys."
"Love you, Elonat." Brenna made kissing noises, and she smiled. "I'll bring you a present."
"Thanks, Brenna."
Jeremiah spoke, "Elonat, I-" but the link was severed before any of them could say anything further.
Elonat cradled the PADD against her chest as she curled on her side and cried out yet another flood of pain.