A/N: UGH OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY PUT THIS AS CHAPTER 17... SORRY Y'ALL I PROMISE I'M DONE NOW XD

So for some reason fanfiction net kinda bugged out and the reviews weren't showing up, and then I think I accidentally reposted the last chapter... my bad, I'm sorry about that guys. Here's the actual chapter 18 lol.

So, good news and bad news… actually, it was probably just bad news. Long story short, I knew who Hawk Moth was (well, I was like, 99% sure, but yeah). Y'know, the big bad villain guy who was going around and akumatising everyone. I'm sure you all know too: it was Gabriel Agreste.

That's right, the father of Adrien Agreste, aka Chat Noir. The father of one of Paris' leading superheroes was the big bad supervillain. Pretty convenient, huh? Of everyone in Paris, it had to be him. (Then again, the guy did have some supervillain vibes to him.)

How did I know this, you ask? Well, you remember that dream I had? Turns out, Gabriel and Hawk Moth had the same voice. And general disposition. Okay, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but I was still very very very sure they were the same person. Like I said, Gabriel did have supervillain vibes.

And what was I going to do with this information? Despite my bumbling idiocy, I somehow had gathered information some people would kill for. I could've been one of the most powerful people in Paris.

Yeah, screw that. I didn't want to be powerful. Have you seen movies? Power corrupts people. I didn't want to be corrupted. I just wanted to stay inside and play video games all day without people judging me. And knit sometimes as well. A simple wish that will probably never be granted, honestly.

But I still dreamed, of course. So you know exactly what I was doing one morning: sitting in my room, playing video games. My mom was real happy (not). She wanted me to go outside but you all know what happened when I went outside. It was pretty much a death sentence out there. No thanks.

In fact, I never wanted to go outside again. Sure, I'd probably get fat and unfit staying inside 24/7, but I didn't care. It was better than death by pigeons or bubbles or weird secretly-supervillain men constantly staring at you for some reason. No, I'd prefer to stay in my room and melt into John soup.

And maybe it was for the best, anyway. You guys know me. Even without the superheroes, I probably would've done something stupid.

So, yeah, I was in my room, trying not to think about world-shaking topics like Hawk Moth or my weird dreams, and instead, some Ultimate Mecha Strike III. My mom sighed, giving up on trying to get me to go out. Or maybe she felt pity for me. Well... no. Since when did anyone feel bad for me? If they did, maybe I wouldn't have been miserable all the time.

SO I was in my room slumped on my bed, playing some games like the loser I am. Max was online, so we were playing together. After absolutely killing it (well, he was killing it, not me), we had a chat after the game.

MK1150: I cannot believe this, Johnathan…

METALLICAGINGERBREAD: uh, what's up? we won the game dude

MK1150: It's not about the game! Adrien is never returning to school! His father pulled him out.

METALLICAGINGERBREAD: srsly? why?

MK1150: I believe it's because of an important book he stole that belonged to his father.

METALLICAGINGERBREAD: wow, really?

A book… I thought. Could that book be-

Surprise, you'll never guess who decided to text me at just that moment. Isn't it great how convenient everything is?

Marinette: Hey, John, are you there?

I wanted to block her so bad. But that would probably backfire against me, and it was pretty bad manners. Plus, I guess I felt bad for not replying last time, so I responded.

Me: yeah, what's up?

Marinette: Do you remember when Adrien and Lila were at the park, and Adrien had that book?

I was starting to see where this was going.

Me: yeah what bout it?

Marinette: Well… I'm just wondering… who do you think Hawk Moth is?

Why the Hell did this girl save all the important questions for stupid text messages? Actually, it was probably for the best. I didn't have to screw around with my words as much.

Me: why do you ask?

Marinette: I don't know, just curious…

Wait, if she's asking me who Hawk Moth is… I scowled. Does that mean… she's onto me?

Marinette: Actually, nevermind, you probably don't know. Sorry, John.

Welp, that got anticlimactic real fast. And I decided I was done talking to Marinette for that day. As soon as I got involved with anything with her around, things would start getting crazy, and I just wanted to live my life peacefully for once (or at least try to). Although I suppose I felt bad for Adrien getting taken out of school, it wasn't any of my business. I wasn't going to get involved. No way.

"Playing games in your room by yourself… you really haven't gotten any better."

I nearly dropped my controller. Standing in the corner of my room was the Butterfly Man. AKA, a different Hawk Moth.

"You…" I got up. "What the Hell are you doing here?! How'd you get in here?!"

"Wow, you get so easily spooked," the Butterfly Man shook his head. "This'll be so easy. You're so capricious, Johnny. You'll be on my side before long."

I didn't know what to say. I'd forgotten what capricious meant.

"On your side?" I asked. "You're a bad guy?"

"You already know that," the Butterfly Man replied, tapping his gloved hands together. "Of course, you think you're a good guy. But that won't last. You'll get sick and tired of people pushing you around. You'll give in eventually."

"I… I'm not on any sides," I spat. "I'm just a civilian."

"You can't lie to yourself forever," the Butterfly Man teased, standing above me. "Pathetic little welp. Your knowledge and power will get the better of you."

He was actually only a few centimeters taller than me, but I still felt like he was towering kilometers above me. I felt my throat go dry. His eyes were covered by a mask, but I could tell… he was staring straight into my soul.

I realised I was actually glad Gabriel Agreste was our Hawk Moth, and not that creep.

"John?" My mom knocked on the door. I glanced at the door, and back at the Butterfly Man. His stubble-covered chin smiled at me.

"What?" I asked, my voice meek.

"Me, Avril and the girls are going out for some lunch," Mom said. "Do you want to come?"

I stared at the Butterfly Man, then the door.

I was about to respond, when suddenly I heard screaming downstairs, and a huge crash. It was like someone was being set on fire.

"AVRIL!" my mother screamed, steps thundering downstairs. I heard the twins crying out for their mother, and another crash.

"WHERE IS HE?!" a familiar man's voice demanded, echoing through the house. Gabriel Agreste.

What the Hell is he doing here?! I thought, a chill going down my spine.

I turned to the Butterfly Man, who simply smirked at me.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Johnny?" he teased. "Go and see what's happening."

"What about you…?" I asked, hands shaking.

"Don't you have more important things to worry about?" he asked, tilting his head.

I narrowed my eyes. "I'll be back for you." And then I dashed outside my room, holding out my fists. My stomach dropped. The house was completely empty. Mom, Avril, and the demon twins were completely gone. As well as that, half the furniture was gone too. I wasn't emotionally attached to it like my dad's stuff, but damn it still pissed me off.

"There you are, Johnathan!" Gabriel Agreste - or whatever the Hell he was cosplaying as - yelled at me. His skin was pale purple. His white hair stuck up in a point with black vertical stripes, however, along with the back of his head and his neck was black. He wore a black dress suit with a white lapel, stiff shoulders, and edgy downward-bent stripes on the front. He also wore black dress pants. His high heel boots were connected to his body suit, and they were black with black and white striped heels. My dude looked like a biker on steroids.

"What the Hell?!" I shouted. "What'd you do to my family?!"

"I am the Collector, so I made them a part of my Book of Inspiration!" he replied, holding up a book that matched his colour scheme. Inside, I saw drawings of my family members, as well as some of the furniture. "And you will be a part of it too, Jonathan!"

"In your dreams," I insulted him in French. He chucked his book at me like a boomerang; I slid out of the way, nearly banging my head on a cabinet that hadn't been vaporized. I yelled another curse in French, this time at myself.

"Come on, Johnathan," the Collector cackled. "You'll make great inspiration for my book!"

"Why's that?" I asked, out of curiosity more than anything.

"Because you're so painfully insignificant, yet you know so much!" he shouted, throwing the book at me again. It wiped out half the kitchen. "Isn't that the greatest inspiration of all, Johnathan?"

Wait… I thought. Does he know…

"Do you know…?" I asked. "That I know…?"

"I know you're hiding something," the Collector replied, removing my dining table. "Inspire me, Johnathan. Tell me what it is!"

"I don't want to be part of your twisted 'inspiration'," I told him. "Not if it involves killing innocent people. You kidnapped my family! And you pulled your son from school just because he stole some dumb book!"

Honestly, every time my family got kidnapped or some other crap happened, I just got madder and madder.

Maybe the Butterfly Man had a point, I scowled. If this dumb shit keeps happening, I really am going to lose my fucking mind.

"Who said you had a choice?" the Collector asked. "This is my new book!" He threw his book at me again. Just as it was about to hit me, a certain cat themed superhero appeared in front of me.

"Now, come on, Collector," Chat Noir chuckled, with a tinge of nervousness. "I think you're starting to run low on ideas."

Wait… I stared at Chat Noir. Did he just insult me?!

"John," Ladybug showed up as well, helping me stand up. "Are you okay?"

"Not particularly," I shook my head. "He kidnapped my whole family."

"Get to safety," Chat Noir winked at me. "We'll deal with this."

"In my house," I grunted. Honestly, I had no privacy whatsoever.

"Just… go outside," Chat Noir told me.

That's exactly where I'm trying to avoid, I scowled.

But of course, I valued my life. So I headed outside into the streets, while the heroes continued fighting the Collector. In my house.

Wait a second, I thought, slumping on the sidewalk. I'm pretty sure that's Hawk Moth back there, but he's… akumatised himself? Is that even possible?

I guess it had to be, since I'd seen it with my own two eyes. That raised a lot of questions. Like, a lot. As if I didn't have enough questions already. My brain was hurting.

And plus, he's onto me, I thought. Great. The big supervillain of Paris is onto me. Just fantastic.

What was I supposed to do against a supervillain? I suppose I just had to do what everyone else was doing: rely on Ladybug and Chat Noir for help. But could they really protect Paris forever?

I saw my door vanish with a flash. I took a good few steps back, hiding behind a bush. Ladybug and Chat Noir came out of my house, standing in front of the entrance.

"... why'd he come after John?" Chat Noir asked his co-hero, raising a brow. "Of all the people in Paris…"

"He mentioned something about John knowing something important," Ladybug replied, tapping her chin. "And maybe he's right. I think John does know something really important. Why else would he keep getting involved in all these villain attacks?"

My throat went dry. That was the smartest thing she'd ever said. Shame she wasn't smart enough to realise her literal crush who she stalked and kept tabs on was standing right next to her.

"No way," Chat Noir waved a hand. "John's just unlucky. I can feel it. He's a chill guy who just has bad fortune."

That was also fair enough.

Ladybug scowled. "We'll discuss this later. The Collector is getting up!"

They ran back into the house. I stared at my fist. And I realised something. The fact that I knew their secret identities… well, that in itself, was kind of my secret identity. Woke John vs Normal, Boring and Weak John. But did I really want that? Unlike Ladybug and Chat Noir, I wasn't some superhero with a Miraculous. Maybe I was sick of being so secretive all the time. Maybe I didn't want to live with my secret anymore. Maybe I just wanted to be free, for once.

And who knows? Maybe once my secret was out in the open, villains would get off my ass! Maybe my life would stop sucking so hard! And maybe, just maybe, my mother would let me play video games all day without reprimanding me.

I stood up, walking away from the house. I proudly brushed my hair out of my eyes, trying to look badass. It probably looked stupid in reality, but whatever. I pulled out my phone, and texted none other than Alix Kubdel. Why her? I'm not sure, it's what my gut was telling me. Alongside its usual demands for food.

Me: Alix… there's something I need to get off my chest.

Alix: Are you confessing to me?

Me: uh no. Look… I'm just gonna say it… marinette is Ladybug.

Alix: What…?

Me: Yeah. And adrien is chat noir.

Alix: John… have you been playing that stupid video game all alone in your room again? I swear you get weird when you play that game.

Me: What? No! Alix, I'm serious! Marinette is Ladybug, and Adrien is Chat Noirrrrr

Alix: Marinette as a superhero? Don't get me wrong, the girl is nice, but can you really see her flying around Paris with a yoyo and kicking butt? The girl constantly trips over her own shoelaces.

Me: well that's the thing…

Alix: And Adrien's dad watches over him like a hawk. He's, like, thirty times worse than my dad. No way would Adrien be able to keep his hero life a secret.

Me: dude! marinette and Ladybug have the same hairstyle and the same voice. And plus, haven't you noticed marinette is never around when ladybug shows up? The same goes for adrien and chat Noir.

Alix: You sound like a conspiracy theorist…

Me: alix, come on! i'm being serious!

Alix: Sure thing…

I wanted to throw my phone down a drain. Of course, when I openly confessed my big ol' common sense knowledge, I got shut down immediately. What was the point anymore? Glad I wasn't in the Hunger Games; the odds were never in my favour.

Alix: Well, anyway, do you want to come with me to the skate park later?

Me: … You've really got guts to ask me something like that.

I put my phone into my pocket, walking down the empty street. And then I noticed the Eiffel Tower was missing.

Wow, the Collector actually managed to steal the Eiffel Tower… I thought, completely unsurprised. Hmm… maybe I should try texting Max instead. He's a smart guy. Well, when it comes to IT, anyway.

So I opened up my phone, sending Max a text. This time, I skipped the greeting, and cut right to the chase.

Me: marinette is ladybug.

Max: Excuse me, Johnathan?

Me: And adrien is chat noir.

Max: Where is all of this coming from…?

Me: marinette and ladybug have the same hairstyle and voice. So do adrien and chat noir. also, marinette and chat noir conveniently 'disappear' every time their superhero counterparts are around.

Max: What? This is ridiculous, Johnathan. I thought you were more reasonable than that.

Me: oh come on! I'm serious max! haven't you noticed all the conveniences?

Max: It's statistically impossible for Marinette to be Ladybug. She doesn't have the physical capabilities required to act as a superhero. Adrien does fencing, so I believe he does have physical capabilities, but he doesn't have the time. His father has an iron grip of his life. There's no way he could live in his double life in peace.

So he said the same shit as Alix. Awesome. Really great friends.

Me: fine. See you.

Max: Ah, Johnathan, I didn't mean to offend you. Honestly! I'm just pointing out the flaws in your logic.

Me: GOODBYE.

I stuffed my phone in my pocket.

I can't believe this shit, I scowled. Man, they should've been glad Hawk Moth was busy or I probably would've been akumatized right then and there.

Speaking of akumatisation, I saw a wave of black and red spots flowing through the city. The Eiffel Tower re-appeared, as well as a ton of random people.

Well, at least Paris is safe for now, I sighed. At least, until another stupid villain shows up…

Then I gasped, remembering something very important: My house! And, uh, my family.

I raced back home, bursting the door open. My family (and all the furniture) was safe and sound. What a relief. I collapsed to my knees, taking some deep breaths.

My mom saw me on the ground, and smiled wide. "John! You've been running! Finally, some exercise for you!"

My smile went sour. "Seriously? That's all you have to say?"

The demon twins giggled.

"Whatever," I stood up. "Mom, look. I have to tell you something."

"What is it, sweetie?" Mom asked, grabbing my arm.

"I know the secret identities of Ladybug and Chat Noir," I told her.

"I'm sure you do, dear," she sighed, tiredly. "You make such funny jokes, you know." I could see the demon twins giggling again. Even Avril was smirking.

"I'm serious!" I spat. "Why doesn't anyone listen to me?!"

I ran upstairs, ignoring her. I locked myself in my room.

Dammit, I thought. I hate all these stupid people.