The Yellow Brick Road

Chapter 18: AFTERMATH — Yzak deals with relationship woes.

July, C.E. 80

If you were to ask Yzak Joule when he started liking Shiho Hahnenfuss, he cannot give you a definite answer. It isn't because he seriously protects his privacy, which he does. It's because he truly doesn't know. All he remembers is the intense longing for her company, especially when she's gone on a trip without him, the increasing need to see and talk to her everyday even if there's really nothing urgent to talk about anyway, and the way his pulse beats faster than he can control whenever she'd accidentally touch him, and he'd try to hide how his pale face flushed red.

Yzak has always been a proud person, but he's self-aware enough to know when he's fallen for someone, though he would like to think that itself is too strong a term for whatever he's feeling. In any case, this isn't his first time to feel this way, so he sensed early the trajectory he's on. At the same time, his temper aside, Yzak's quite used to burying his feelings, so he never planned on acting on whatever emotions he felt for Shiho. Not really, anyway.

Regardless, Yzak found himself in probably the most ridiculous TV trope — working late with Shiho in the office, where something was bound to happen. And something did happen. They had urgent paperwork to finish, so Shiho stayed behind to help him finish everything. She tried to reach for a folder on top of the cabinet, but her height betrayed her, so Yzak decided to help. He miscalculated how close to Shiho he needed to be to grab the folder, and ended up directly in front of her, his face and lips painfully near her own. And just for a second, they drew themselves even closer to each other, and had already closed their eyes.

They stopped themselves at the last moment and laughed it off, but they both knew exactly what almost happened - or what didn't happen. It was hard not to know, when both their faces had remained flushed the rest of the night.

The next day, Shiho filed for a transfer request. There was a position she had been interested in for quite some time. And it was available. The new position effectively took her out of his chain of command — they both knew that was the primary reason for the request, but neither said anything about it.

They're both good soldiers who follow the rules, and they weren't about to tarnish their reputation with a fraternization charge. They're both above those kinds of things anyway. So Yzak approved her request almost immediately, and by the end of the month, Shiho packed her things and moved offices. Yzak thought this would be a very good time to start forgetting about her. And he had all but lasted two months.

They met each other again at a celebration gala, and Yzak downed more champagne than he normally would because she looked fucking gorgeous in her dress, and really he just missed her terribly. Yzak was very proud of himself that night. They only made small talk for a few minutes, asking how each other was. He didn't stay longer than he should, and he didn't even ask her to dance. So Yzak felt quite good about himself.

But pride was different from perceptiveness, which he definitely lacked that night. His feelings must have clouded his usually good perception. Because suddenly someone was knocking on his door some time after midnight, and he was already prepared to admonish whoever was disturbing him at an ungodly hour. But it was Shiho at the door, still in her dress and make-up. And he can tell she was frustrated.

"What are you—" He barely got words out when she kissed him. Yzak was surprised, a bit more than he cared to admit, and he felt that all that effort he put into trying to forget her for two months went down the drain. But it's Shiho. And Shiho's in his arms, kissing him. And it would be a damn shame not to kiss her back, so he did, and it was probably one of the greatest things life has blessed him with.

Shiho spent the night with him, and in the morning they had a good talk about whatever this was. Yzak was embarrassed all throughout, but it wasn't as bad as Yzak thought it would have been.

So since that day, he and Shiho had been meeting every week. Sometimes they'd go to dinner, or watch a movie, or visit art museums. Then they'd end up either in Yzak's place or Shiho's place, with limbs tangled under the sheets and laughing at whatever funny thing they said or did earlier.

Yzak won't lie — it's been bliss, and he's been nothing short of happy. But it's also been annoying. Because people have started talking. Everyone knew Shiho worked under him for years, so really their relationship was at least a bit suspicious — suspicious enough to get called into Personnel even though Yzak and Shiho had declared their relationship as soon as it happened.

Personnel let them go because there really was nothing to charge them for. They did nothing wrong, but that didn't stop soldiers from gossiping. Yzak had grumbled at the petty chit chat he'd hear in the cafeteria, and on one occasion had expressed his annoyance to Shiho.

Shiho had taken a bite of the diner burger she ordered, and she had taken a sip of her strawberry milkshake. "Well, it is true that we started liking each other when I was still working under you."

Yzak's eyes had turned into slits, but this only made Shiho laugh. "Just whose side are you on?"

When Shiho's laughter subsided, she had suddenly become sober. "I miss you."

Yzak had looked at her in confusion. "I'm here with you now."

Shiho had shaken her head, and she had smiled at him lovingly. "No. I mean, I miss spending most of my time with you. At work. I know we shouldn't be too greedy. I'd much rather be with you like this than have to swallow my feelings for fear of being court-martialed. But I still miss you anyway."

So that is why Yzak finds himself leaning against his vehicle in front of Shiho's military station at half past six in the evening, which is when she usually leaves work. Part of him feels foolish for waiting like this, especially since people exiting the compound have been giving him odd looks. It isn't everyday you see a soldier in civilian attire waiting for another soldier to take them on a date. But what Shiho said struck him. As much as she misses him, he misses her just as much, if not more.

Yzak has never been one to care what people thought anyway. Otherwise, he wouldn't have defected at the last minute and aided the Eternal in the wars. This situation is no different, and he'd be damned if he let a couple of gossips get to him so easily.

He spots Shiho; she's wearing a coat over her uniform, and she's as beautiful as ever. She doesn't fail to notice him and quirks a smile as she approaches him. "What are you doing here?"

Yzak lifts himself off the vehicle and stands straight, his hands in his pockets. "What does it look like? I'm giving you a ride home."

Shiho's eyebrows are raised in amusement. "I know, but we don't do that —" She suddenly notices people are staring and hesitates a bit. She knows Yzak isn't very comfortable with such public attention. "Are you sure this is okay? People are watching."

"Screw them. Who cares what they think?" Yzak scoffs, but his face softens after a moment. "I miss you and I want to see you."

Shiho is genuinely touched, and almost speechless. But she won't let such a good opportunity pass. "Wow, Yzak Joule. Since when have you become a romantic?"

"Shut up." Yzak rolls his eyes and grabs her hand to lead her to the car. Shiho's only laughing as he does so. "Let's go home."