Planes, Trains, and Hot Air Mobiles
Chris: Last time on total drama world tour. Easter Island, our final 4 went searching for condor eggs in carved heads of their old pals. After finding 3 eggs each they ended up getting chased by an angry mother condor. Eva was the only one who failed to put her eggs in the mother's nest automatically eliminating her from game. But before she left she threw dynamite at my plane's engine causing to crash in Drumheller. Did I mention we got no ride now? Because Eva destroyed it! (Blows into a paper bag) Our final 3 are jetting to Hawaii, without a jet, so get for some other kind of race to the million right here on Total Drama World Tour!
(Intro)
Chris: The hot tub with my name spelled in Italian tiles, gone. My monogrammed sneakers, gone. My custom calibrated stubble trimmer, gone.
Duncan: So are we gonna continue the game or not?
Alejandro: I second that.
Heather: And I third that.
Chris: As usual you 3 are thinking of nothing but yourselves. What about the bigger humanitarian crisis? How am I suppose to keep this face fresh without my hyperbolic chamber?
Heather: I'm not sure any of us care to answer that.
(Chef finds an extremely large crate and pushes it out of the destroyed plane)
Chris: Hey, my emergency kit. We're saved! Hahaha. That's right kids, get ready for surf sun and beauties in grass skirts. We're going to Hawaii.
Alejandro, Duncan and Heather: Woohoo! Yeah!
Chris: I know, best host ever. Never doubt me.
(Chef opens the extremely large create revealing a 2 seated helicopter)
Alejandro: Is that a 2 seater?
Chris: Yep, Chef flys, I supervise.
Alejandro: And we?
Chris: Will be competing to get to the big island first using only your wits and whatever you find out here. Also the last one to arrive to Hawaii will be eliminated.
Heather: But we're in the middle of nowhere.
Chris: True, so check these fancy dancy GPSS I'm generously giving you. (Gives the final 3 GPSS)
Duncan: Middle of nowhere Alberta. Well they works.
Chris: Set them for Tijuana beach, it's right on the Mexican border. Now move it. Go, go, go!
(Chef and Chris leave in the helicopter)
Duncan: Well I don't know about you 2 but I'm gonna see if there's anything useful in the plane wreckage. (Goes through the plane wreckage)
Heather: And this is the part where you ask me to join forces?
Alejandro: Nope.
Heather: What?!
(Confessional) Alejandro: Heather and Duncan were last 2 people I expected to make it to the final 3 with. And are the only 2 people you saw right through me. So I'm gonna have to travel alone so Duncan can't sabotage me and Heather can't distract me with her clever words, or her distressful eyes, or the way she tucks her hair behind those cute little earlobes. (Slaps himself) Force!
Heather: You're not teaming up with me?
Alejandro: Nope, you're on your own, bye. (Runs off)
Heather: Well, if that's how he wants to play it. Then I'll work alone to. First I just need to figure out how to get to Tijuana beach.
(With Duncan in the plane wreckage)
Duncan: Okay, let's see what I've got. A parachute, a wheelchair and a fuel barrel and burners. Perfect, with all this equipment I can make a hot air balloon.
(With Alejandro)
Alejandro: If you want to find a thief, follow his money. If want Chris, follow the evil beasts he loves to throw into the challenges. Tijuana beach, here we come. (Sneaks into the truck full of animals)
(With Heather who trips on train tracks)
Heather: What kind of idiot leaves train tracks in the middle of nowhere? (Gasp) Train! Yes!
(With Alejandro)
Alejandro: (Walkie talkie) Attention competitors. I am currently traveling at 90 kilometers per hour, so you may as well give up. (Suddenly gets kissed by a yeti which causes him to stumble backward in shock and fall right into a crate, accidentally locking himself in it) On a unrelated note, yuck!!!
(In the helicopter with Chris and Chef)
Chris: Heather's ahead but stalled. And the yeti's new boyfriend is quickly catching up. But Duncan can't seem to get his butt in gear.
(With Duncan)
Duncan: Yes! Finished! Now time for this baby to fly. (Flys off in the air in his hot air balloon) (Walkie talkie) Attention queen bee and yeti lover, the D-man is on the move. I repeat, this butt is air born.
(Confessional) Duncan: With that hot air balloon I should get to Tijuana beach easily, Heather can deal with Alejandro all she wants by herself.
(With Heather on the train)
Heather: Air born. Ugh! (Looks at a women on her laptop) Uh, is this seat taken? (Women just looked at her without care. So Heather just sits down and reads a paper not knowing that the truck Alejandro was riding is unloaded onto the train that Heather had previously boarded)
(The train leaves)
(Alejandro eventually manages to get himself out of the create)
Alejandro: Ah disgusting. (Looks at the yeti who stares at him) Ugh. Where am I anyway? (Heard a weird cry from 1 of the creates and looks inside it) You are a disgrace amigo. (The weird animal cry's) If I release you, you must behave.
(With Duncan)
Duncan: The faster I go the sooner I get to Tijuana beach. Whoa! (The hot air balloon comes into range of Chris's helicopter and they both along with Chef scream and narrowly avoid each other)
Chris: (Walkie talkie) Duncan, are you insane!
Duncan: Watch where your going!
Chris: (Walkie talkie) Are you in a hot air balloon made from the wreckage of my plane?
Duncan: Hey, you said we could use anything we found in the wreckage.
(Chef nods his head at Chris knowing Duncan was telling the truth)
Chris: Hey, it's your funereal.
The radio: Attention, an extreme weather warning has issued for all aircraft.
Chris: (Turns the radio off) I should probably warn him. (Laughs with Chef)
(With Heather)
Heather: Who knew could be so easy?
The conductor: Tickets please! Tickets!
Alejandro: I'm sorry, but my brother, he's not a wild animal, he just has a few quirks.
(The feral Ezekiel smells Heather and growls at her, allowing Heather to notice him and Alejandro)
Alejandro and Heather: You!
(Alejandro then unleashes the feral Ezekiel on Heather causing her to scream and run away with Alejandro running and laughing behind them)
(With Duncan)
Duncan: Okay, that cloud doesn't look good. (Hears thunder) Nope! It's gonna kill me! (Screams as his hot air balloon fly's into the clouds)
(With Heather and Alejandro)
(Heather manages to escape from the car, but is cornered on the roof of the caboose by Alejandro as they end up on opposite cars)
Heather: You wouldn't push a girl off a speeding train would you?!
Alejandro: You're the one who always pushes to far! I prefer to pull! (Uses his belt to disconnect the car, attempting to abandon Heather on the tracks)
Heather: (Gasp) Oh no you don't, this is my train! (Runs but slips on hail stones as a hailstorm comes) Hail?! Seriously?! Ow!
(With Duncan who was caught in the middle of the hailstorm)
Duncan: Whoa! I need to steer out of this storm. And quick!
(Back with Heather and Alejandro)
Alejandro: (Uncouples the train car) So long Heather. I think I'll miss your leg most of all—
Heather: Hiya! (Jump over onto his car and lands on top of him) The only one who's leaving is you! (Kicks him in the face as she climbs up the train car, he then climbs up after her)
(Bell dings)
Chris: (Walkie talkie) I pride myself on my timing.
Alejandro, Duncan and Heather: Are you kidding me?!
Chris: You know the answer to that by now.
Alejandro: This show's a train, it's moving fast. You and I weren't meant to last. Going against me just wasn't right. So look out now, you're in my sights.
Heather: Mr. Fair now, suddenly I have to barf now, excuse me! Don't try to make me feel ashamed. I know you would've done the same.
Alejandro and Heather: I'm gonna make it.
You can't stop me now, just you try. Our fortune's waiting It's time for you to say, bye-bye-bye.
Duncan: I'm surprised I got this far. Face it, I'm no tv star. But now I'm in the final 3, unless I get caught in that tree! I'm gonna make it. They can't stop me now, let them try. My fortune's waiting, and they can kiss it all bye-bye-bye.
Alejandro and Heather: You are the worst, why must you torment me? It's all a game to you, but not to me. (Heather pushes Alejandro off the train)
Alejandro: Heather!
Duncan and Heather: I'm gonna make it.
They can't stop me now, let them try. Our fortune's waiting It's time for you to say, goodbye-bye-bye.
Duncan: Dang it! Telephone wires! (Accidentally crashes his hot air balloon into some telephone wires, leaving Heather as the only contestant still moving southward)
(With Chris)
Chris: Update time! According to the latest data, Heather is the only one still moving towards Hawaii.
(With Heather)
Heather: (Gets inside the train) Yes! (Then sees feral Ezekiel behind her) Perfect. (Screams)
(Following behind the train Alejandro was riding a wild horse)
Alejandro: Oh Heather, I'm coming.
(With Duncan)
Duncan: Come on! Come on! (Try's to free the balloon from the wires, but it ignites and burns up) Dang it! Need to get Hawaii somehow. (Sees a near by fireworks store) Perfect!
(With Heather and the feral Ezekiel)
Heather: Remember camp wawanakwa Zeke? Back when you were still human. (Continues getting chased by feral Ezekiel)
(With Duncan)
Duncan: Hey kid, need a huge box fire of fireworks.
The Salesman: Duncan? From total drama?
Duncan: Yep, that's me.
The Salesman: WOW! Duncan I'm a huge fan of yours!
Duncan: Awesome kid. Listen I'm in the final 3 against Heather and Alejandro and I need to win so I'll give you my autograph if you give me a box of fireworks for free.
The Salesman: Deal! (Gets Duncan's autograph then gives him a box of fireworks)
Duncan: Thanks kid!
(Back with Heather who was still being chased by feral Ezekiel)
Heather: Stop, chasing, me! (Throws 2 eggs at him, then a pie, then a pillow and then train seats until feral Ezekiel jumps her)
(With Duncan)
Duncan: Great now that the fireworks are attached to the wheelchair, all is light it while I'm sitting in it and I'm back the sky. (Sits in the wheelchair and lights the fireworks then blasted off into the sky) Woohoo!
(With Alejandro)
Alejandro: (While riding on the horse) Yes, you are beautiful.
(Heather is thrown out of one of the train's windows by him and lands on another one of the horses near Alejandro)
Alejandro and Heather: You again?!
Alejandro: Hurry cavallo!
Heather: Just do what he saids but faster!
(With Chris)
Chris: Wow, they just don't seem to really want it that bad. But barring any life-ending accidents I guess they're our final— Wait a sec. (Duncan flys right pass them) Duncan's still in it. It's a dead heat people.
Duncan: Yes! Tijuana beach! I'm gonna make it!
(With Alejandro and Heather)
Heather: I will squish you like a bug!
Alejandro: I will pluck you like a chicken!
Chris: Look out!
(The horses suddenly stopped causing Heather and Alejandro to fly off them into the air crashing into an embrace with each other)
Alejandro: I hate you.
Heather: I feel exactly the same.
Chris: Uh I still have a race to the million going on. Interested? Hawaii's over there, grab a boat, head to the big island and— (Before he could finish Duncan crash and fly right into one of the boats and take off before the others can recover)
Duncan: Later losers! Hahaha!
Chris: And Duncan takes the lead. (Heather and Alejandro groan as they get in their boats) I really love this show.
(Heather and Alejandro were neck and neck while Duncan was way ahead)
Heather: How is your boat going a lot faster than ours?
Duncan: Wouldn't you like to know.
(Alejandro then bumps Heather's boat)
Heather: Ugh! These aren't bumper boats jerk! (Throws a cod at him) Eat cod! Haha!
(Alejandro and Heather then engage in battle with swordfish, allowing Duncan to continue along ahead)
Duncan: Yes! Number 1! What the? (Arrives at a mine field and avoids the mines due to a seagull landing on one and destroying it) Phew, that was close. (Arrives at Hawaii where Chris and an angry peanut gallery await) Yes! I'm the final!
Chris: Duncan makes into the final 2. 1 question remains, who will Duncan battle? Heather, or Alejandro?
(Alejandro wins the sword fight)
Alejandro: It appears the best man has—(Gets interrupted by a kiss from Alejandro distracting him from the mine field hitting a mine, blowing his boat skywards) Noooo!!!
Heather: So long sucker! (Arrives at Hawaii) Yes!
Chris: And Heather joins Duncan in the finale. Which means, (Alejandro boat lands on the ground and he falls out of it) Alejandro is eliminated!
Alejandro: Nooooo!!!!!!
Duncan, Heather and some of the eliminated contestants: Yes!
Chris: Come back next time to find out either Duncan or Heather take home the million, or die trying. Right here on Total Drama World Tour!