Chapter 19

Jadeite paced angrily around his room for what felt like hours. He knew Zoisite would try to be logical about everything, and Nephrite would try to smooth things over, but it changed nothing. All of it could have been prevented. They all should have been able to stop it. Especially Kunzite, but did any of them really try? He didn't see that they did.

After pacing for awhile, he decided he needed to get out of there for awhile. Without even thinking about it, he opened a portal, and stepped thru it. He had no plan on where he was going, he just went. He found himself on the roof of the Hikawa Shrine. At first he didn't know how he ended up there, but he figured in his frustration he unconsciously followed the bond he shared with Rei. Not feeling like teleporting again, he sat down on the roof. He thought maybe being near her might help his temper cool. He hoped at least.

He was starring off in the distance when he heard a noise behind him. He turned to see Rei standing there, looking angry. He quickly noticed she was transformed into Sailor Mars. She looked beautiful in her fuku, and so sexy with her red heels on long perfect legs. The red in her fuku set off her black hair. The purple of the bow over her breasts matched her eyes so closely. She was a vision to him, but a pissed off vision. He raised his hands.

"I'm not here to cause trouble." He said quietly.

"Then why are you here?" she growled at him.

"To be honest, I don't know." Jadeite responded.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I was pacing in my room, decided I needed to get out of the apartment, away from the guys, and opened a portal to take me anywhere. Next thing I know, I'm here. I just needed to leave for a bit. Clear my head, you know. I had no destination in mind. Just some where quiet, and calm. I guess that was here." Jadeite shrugged. "Sorry for the intrusion."

"Why does this place make you feel calm?"

"I don't know. Maybe because it's a shrine. A place of peace, quiet, and prayer."

"Probably."

"I'll go. I don't want to bother you." He started to get up.

"You portal brought you here for a reason."

"I guess."

"Jadeite, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing you need to worry yourself with. You have enough to deal with already."

Rei walked toward him, sat down, and patted the spot next to her. He gingerly sat beside her.

"Close your eyes." Rei said firmly.

"Um. Why?" he asked.

"I want to detransform. You need to close your eyes while I do." Rei answered with a slight blush.

"What's the big deal?"

"I'm naked during the change."

"So. That won't bother me one bit."

"Don't be an ass. Shut your eyes before I burn them closed."

"Ok. Ok." Jadeite chuckled as he shut his eyes. He saw flashes of light behind his eyelids then it all went dark.

"You can open your eyes now."

He looked over at her to see her wearing a pair of red lounge pants, and a loose red t-shirt.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much. No one ever warns you about how uncomfortable that outfit is, and fighting in heels is awful on the feet." She answered.

"Usagi said the fuku design wasn't practical for fighting, and that pants would be better." Jadeit chuckled.

"She's right." Rei snorted.

"Not nearly as sexy though. A high kick to the face packs a double whammy with the view." Jadeite chuckled.

"Pig." She glared at him.

"Don't worry. I got smacked in the back of the head by Kunzite for that comment."

"Ouch."

"Oh yeah."

They sat in silence for awhile. He felt his anger calming, but the guilt, and loss crept up on him. It felt like a weight pressing down on him.

"You wanna talk about it? Tonight I mean." Rei asked quietly.

"I'm not sure what to say without going too deeply in the past." Jadeite answered.

"Just open your mouth, and let the words flow."

He thought that over for a moment than decided what the hell. Not like he had much more to lose any way. She wasn't taking him back, and it hurt to think she wouldn't, but it wouldn't surprise him any way.

"I'm angry. I'm angry about everything. I'm angry about what happened, about being captured, at Kunzite for not saving us, about, well everything really. None of it should have ever happened. It could have been stopped. Kunzite should have been strong enough to get us back, to save us, but he didn't. He gave them the idea to attack all of you. It was his fault. It was his fault we didn't enter that battle together. The 4 of us combined could have won, but he sent us separately, and by the time he got there, it was too late. He should have been strong enough to get us back, but he didn't. Then he was a bastard the whole time. Plus him giving the idea of us attacking. It was all his fault."

"Was it? Was it really?"

"Yes. He ordered us to go into battle separately. He didn't fight back when they attacked him."

"Do you remember who Kunzite's orders came from though?"

"The king and queen, but he was the general, 1st in command. It was his job to advise differently if he felt the king's plan was wrong."

"And did he?"

"I…I don't know."

"Did you ever ask him?"

"Well no."

"I did. He came to the moon to bring Endymion for safe keeping. I asked him why you three were sent separately."

"What did he tell you?"

"He had argued with the king for hours about it, but the king under estimated the enemy. The king said Kunzite's first duty was to ensure Endymion's safety. Also, none of you were strong enough to teleport so many people to the battle. The king felt that it would be best for Nephrite and Zoisite to analyze the strength of the enemy, and to begin strategizing defeating the enemy. Kunzite had to follow his orders, even though he hated them. He wanted to go with you 3, but the king insisted that he do as he was told."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Look, Metalia, and Beryl were a great deal stronger than any of us ever imagined. You'll never know really know if you would have been able to defeat her with the 4 of you combined. It took Usa using the Silver Crystal to defeat Metalia. And Usa died doing."

"She did?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"You can't blame Kunzite for the 4 of you being separated. He didn't want you to be, but at the end of the day, he had to follow the king's orders."

"I guess, but he didn't even try to save us."

"Tell me what happened."

"It was during the last battle. Neph, Zoi, and I had already been captured. Kunz was on the battle field, fighting, trying to shield the soldiers from being drained by the beasts, as well as killing the beasts. The three of us stepped thru a portal right in front of him. He paused. He fucking paused, looked us over, and smiled. Before anything else could happened, he as stabbed in the shoulder, and he fell. He was captured at that moment. He never fought back, he never struggled, he never even noticed there was something wrong with us. He did NOTHING."

"Jad, who stabbed him?"

"Zoisite.",

"And who grabbed him?"

"Nephrite."

"What made him pause?"

"Seeing the 3 of us."

"Ok. I want you to think about something. Kunzite was in battle, exhausting his magic trying to protect, and defeat at the same time. He was over extending his magic, as it was. He was probably extremely depleted, and exhausted. Then the 3 of you show up. Three of the four men that were his best friends, the men he saw as brothers. Three of the most important people in his life. Three people he thought lost to him. Three people he thought were dead. He went into that battle heartbroken, and alone. Suddenly there you all were. His pause was probably relief you were alive, and he was probably calculating where in the battle you would each be most useful. In that pause, he was stabbed, by his best friend, and brother. Now he was already exhausted, and depleted, magically, suddenly he is also bleeding out. If what you said in your letter about the beasts draining energy to make a person easier to possess, in his already weakened state, a beast drained the rest of the fight out of him. He was already weakened, that just finished the job. It was the perfect storm of terrible things come together to bring him down. He didn't have the strength to fight back because it was all taken from him. He also, probably didn't want to hurt you. Maybe he thought, if he could get inside, he could regain his strength to get you all out, but didn't know about what happened when one was possessed by the evil that was Metalia. You shouldn't be angry at him for something he could not do.

"I guess I can see your point."

"You said it was his idea to use the 4 of you to defeat us. How? What did he do or say?"

"When Beryl started to plan the attack on the moon, she asked us if we knew how to defeat the senshi. By that time our memories, and emotions were repressed. We all said no, and had no idea what or who she was talking about. I remember being taken to a room, and tortured for who knows how long. Eventually we were all placed in a room together, and tortured together. I was about to be stabbed in the heart when Kunzite said "us". Next thing I remember I was…..I was….standing over you. If Kunzite hadn't said anything, we never would have…well we never would have ended up on the moon."

"Did you ever ask Kunzite why he said "us"?"

"No, but he told us tonight."

"What did he tell you?"

"He said Beryl was ripping through his memories. He said it was actual painful ripping. Until she found the memory of when he and Venus wed. He said she combed that memory so thoroughly the pain was worse than he could ever describe. He said she looked at all of us paired up in that memory, and how we behaved with each of you. She saw what she hadn't realized before. The relationships formed while she was obsessing over Endymion. He said that he said the word "us" speaking of him and Venus, not the four of us, but she saw what she needed. The next thing he said he remembered was standing over Venus, and wanting to join her in death. We all felt the same way. That was when evil took full possession of us because we all hit our weakest moment."

"I want you to think about all of that story, and tell me if you still think it was Kunzite's word or idea, to use you against us."

Jadiete sat there, thinking it all thru. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he was wrong in his anger at Kunzite, for that, as well as not rescuing them.

"I guess, maybe not."

"No. I don't think so. I can't speak of your time in the Dark Kingdom, and what happened while you were there, but those two instances sound like you needed an outside view."

"I guess you're right. Thanks Rei. I appreciate your help with this."

"I've learned from Usa how to try to be there for others, and to try to help them when they have a problem."

"She sounds like a good friend."

"She's the best. There is no greater person than Usa. I don't know who I would be without her."

"I'm glad you have her."

"Me too."

"I don't want to over stay my welcome, or make you feel pushed into anything. So I'll go. Thank you for everything tonight."

"No problem. Good night Jadeite."

"Good night Rei."

Jadeite got up, bowed to her, opened a portal, and stepped into his room. He flopped onto his bed, and spent a long time thinking about all Rei had said. She was right. He needed to let go of his anger for two of his reasons for his anger towards Kunzite.