Oooooh boy, really gotta stop promising when chapters come out.
Anyways, don't worry, this story isn't going to die, my computer ended up crashing, so I've had to use my bulkier, slower computer, and typing on this is just a pain. Things should be better now, though I will say that I'm a bit unsure about this chapter. I've combined two Star episodes together, and I don't know, feels a bit messy to me. I'm just glad I got it done.
Another day, another afternoon of beating up monsters for a living. Except Star didn't get paid to beat up monsters.
Or at all for that matter.
Shouldn't she get paid for this?
She should get paid.
'Wouldn't that be something. Then again, I'm a princess, so it's not like I never not have money. Is that all being royalty is? Just having a lot of money?' She pondered this philosophical question as she almost instinctively punched a monster in the face as Ludo once again whined like the sore loser he was.
"You guys have like 200 hundred pounds on her? Why are you losing!" The bird man was not in a cheerful mood. It seemed more and more lately his life was filled with nothing but disappointments, and unless he made some changes soon, that was all there was going to be. "At least throw a rock at her or something!"
The bear monster threw a pebble at her. It bounced off her forehead like it was a rubber ball.
"Why do I bother at this point?"
"Hey Marco! Betcha 20 I can make this!" Star jumped over the two headed monster and landed on top of a cactus. "Off the Cactus, over the tree, nothing but neck." She casually shot a rainbow fist in the exact order, hitting the giraffe monster right in it's long weak spot. "Told ya!"
Marco readily prepared to hand her the 20 bucks, when opportunity struck yet again. "Double or nothing, One Kick: 7 monsters." Star bowed on her high ground, insisting. "Hi-yah! The kick sent Buff Frog backwards, making everyone of them fall like dominoes until it stopped at Ludo, smoothing him with all their collective masses on top.
"So beautiful, such perfection." Star wiped away a tear. "Qua-, Steven would be proud."
"Speaking of, is he coming today?"
"Nah, today's one of his scheduled 'Me days', where he basically gets on top of Lion and goes to whatever random dimension he happens to go to, where he free to meet as many friends as he wants and be chased by any manner of authority figure." She wiped away more tears of pride. "They grow up so fast."
"Well, after such a victory like this, there's only one thing to do. GET CHINESE FOOD!"
"Yeah! Chinese Food! I I have no idea what that is!
"So you're saying that guy actually thinks he's a good guy?"
"Yeah. The stinky head use to be a space cop, but after he failed to capture Stitch, he lost his job. Now he has to make a living capturing the other activated experiments. It's kinda sad when you think about it." The little Hawaiian girl told Steven, who was listening intently while building a small scale replica of Mewni's castle. "I'd help him out, except he's also trying to help an evil space Gerbil take over the universe with Stitch's cousins, so we have to hold off on that."
"That's fair. Ludo's evil, but he's pretty easy to beat, and his monsters are more poor lost souls than bad, so it's nothing I have to worry too much about." The prince happily turned to the girl. "Though I have to say, you're doing the whole redemption thing a whole lot better than I am at the moment. You're helping your best friend while at the same time saving the planet."
"Yeah, but I also have curfew, and I can't watch go to the theaters on my own without Nani watching over my back. Big sisters can be such a pain. So over protective. You're lucky to have one that more rebellious and reckless."
Steven gave a laugh. "Trust me, she gets overprotective when she wants to. I still go to bed with the feeling I'm being watched." The boy was way too scared to ask if Star knew about that, though he didn't know if he was more scared if the answer was 'yes' or 'no'. "But family in general is like that. It's complicated and doesn't really make sense half the time."
"It's like that for you too?" The girl sighed. "Even before Stitch, Jamba, and Plikely came along my family was complicated. I was already the weirdo."
"And what's wrong with that?" Steven rose up. "I'm apparently half magic rock, and I for all my magic can do, I still feel as normal as anybody else. Everybody's a bit weird in their own way. The best thing to do about it though is to never hide it."
"Thanks Steven. You know, more Princes should act like you."
"No prob, bob. And yeah, my sister would agree with you." Steven laid back down and started making sand angels. "So after you turn them from bad to good, you help them find their place?"
"Of course. Just because they were made to be evil doesn't mean they can't still do some good for others."
"Thank you! I feel like a lot of people forget about that."
"Yeah! Like how we use Sparky to power the lighthouse, or how Elastico joined a traveling circus. Of course, every once in a while, Gantu ends up catching a few, but we're going to do everything we can to get them back."
"And how exactly do you get the experiments to stay good? My friends and I almost succeeded with Lobster Claws, but I guess his heart wasn't into it."
"I, I honestly don't know." The girl said honestly. "Gantu and Jamba talk about it likes it's some proven science or something of the like, but I just make sure to give them the chance, and things work out from there. I lend a hand, and hopefully they're willing to lend a hand back." She sighed. "Sorry if that's not helpful."
"No, No! You have nothing to be sorry for. I get what you mean." Steven reassured. "My family just found my real family, so I'm in that exact situation right now. Star willing to help, but I know she's looking for a way to end whatever we have the moment things start looking bad, and the Crystal Gems seem fine enough, but they don't show that much care for the Butterflys, or Mewni in general."
"Then it sounds like you shouldn't have two Ohana's."
"Huh?".
"Ohana means family. And family means nobody gets left behind. If both sides of your family are turning against each other, then you got to try and make your two Ohana's into one big Ohana."
"One big Ohana, huh?" He puzzled. Getting Dad on board with that idea wouldn't be a problem, he tolerated Mom's family for this long, so this shouldn't be a problem. Star was wary, but willing to support, and Mom, well, he didn't exactly know how his mom felt at the moment; they haven't really talked that much of the past few days. Star didn't say anything to her, well, even less than she usually did, Dad was doing everything he could to avoid the tension as much as he could, once again, leaving him right in the middle of everything. "I should probably make sure my first Ohana can talk to each other before trying to convince them to talk to the other."
"Sounds messy. And annoying." Lilo then looked the side, spotting a lazy, sleeping Lion attempting to ignore the provocation of a small blue kola like creature. "Stitch, leave the lion alone. He's Steven's ride out of here."
"Igi naga! Eh!"
"He got here first. Those roasted crabs could've been eaten by anyone!" Lilo sighed. "Oh Stitch, for someone with a brain of a super computer, you don't really seem to use it."
"Well, isn't he younger than you? You said Jamba got arrested right after he was created, right?"
"Right. I guess it's hard to remember that sometimes."
"Lilo! There you are." A tall woman, who had a striking resemblance to the little girl Steven was talking, came up. "What did I tell you about leaving the house unattended?"
"That if I'm going to do it, I have to specify that I'm not going out to capture life threatening experiments, or that I'll wait on Jamba, Pleakly, or you to supervise."
"If you remember, than we shouldn't be having this conversation over and over again." The adult turned to the boy with her. "And whose this?"
"Steven Quartz Universe Butterfly, knight in training, madam." The kid respectfully bowed. "I was just passing through when I bumped into your sister."
"So your a tourist?"
"Something like that." Entering a new dimension did make him a tourist. "I hope I wasn't holding her up with anything important."
"Oh no, no, nothing like that at all. You're totally fine." Finally! Lilo made a friend that was normal! And Human. Those really shouldn't be requirements for her life, but she'd take was she could at the moment. The knight thing was a little weird, but hopefully that could be chalked up to an active imagination. Hopefully. "You wouldn't happen to come over for some lemonade, would you?"
"Nah, I probably should get going now. Better not let my mom wonder too much on where I am, least she take it out on Dad." Steven made his way to the lazy lion. "Hope everything with the experiments work's out fine."
"And I hope everything works out with your new Ohana!" The boy disappeared in front of them soon after, much to the older sister's disbelief.
"Lilo, did that boy just disappear riding a pink lion?"
"Yeah, that's so cool, right? Though the color is kind of a deal breaker."
"You know what? I'm not going to question it. You made friends with a kid your own age. I'm just happy he's human."
"He told me he was half human.."
"I'm trying to focus on the non-weird side of this. Please, just give me that."
"Delicious! And it's so fun eating with these tiny wands!" Star and Marco made it to the restaurant, where she proceeded to devour her food by repeatedly stabbing it until it stuck, while also making 'pew pew' noises as she did. "And entire countries eat with these things?"
"Yep. Over there, its considered a more prober way of eating."
"My Dad would love this! It combines his most favorite things in the world: Eating and Stabbing!" The waiter passed by and placed down 4 fortune cookies on a plate. "And it comes with free desserts!? Chinese food is the best!" She gobbled it up, only to stick her tongue out to reveal a crumbled up peice of paper. "Boo! Cookies don't have paper filling."
Marco smirked, seeing an opportunity to mess with Star's naivety for a minute. "Star, those happen to be a rare Earth delicacy: the Fortune Cookie. Read the little fortune inside, and they'll magically come true."
"Really?"
"Of course. Watch this." He cracked it open. "A friend will greet you with a smile."
"Awww, that's so sweet." Star smiled wildly.
"See, it came true!"
"OOh, my turn, my turn!" Star read out loud her own fortune. "Think positive, and good things will come your way. Well, that's me all the time!" One of the waiters carried a box of fortune cookies, which Star immediately leapt towards. "I want cookies!"
"They're stale." The waiter said.
"Give me!"
"You're a weird girl." The lady happily complied, and Star looked like she just found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
"See Star, good fortune did come your way." Marco indulged the lie. It was like watching a baby laugh at keys. The end result was just too cute to resist.
"It did, it did! These miracle cookies are incredible!" She hugged the cookies creepily, making Marco realize that the game had officially gone to far at this point. "Now I never have to decide for myself ever again!"
"Star.."
"I have no responsibility now!"
"Star.."
"I AM A PAWN TO FATE! I'm your humble servant now, destiny."
"And I immediately regret telling you about this."
"Mom, I'm home!" Steven reentered his home dimension( aka, the dimension he grew up him) and called out to the Queen. Even for a castle that's been less noisy lately since Star's departure, this was still a bit too quiet. "Met this really nice Hawaiian girl whose apparently in the midst of saving her planet from one of the greatest galactic threats. We built sandcastles. Also ran into that weird old guy making weird portals that Heckapoo's been looking for. I think they dated at one point."
"The Queen wishes to see you in her quarters." Behind him, Manfred, one of the castles oldest and up tight servants spoke up. Honestly, Steven didn't know whether or not the family liked him. He did his job fine, but he tended to be a bit critical on anything that he didn't agree with, aka almost anything Star did that resulted in him cleaning up, or whenever he spoke about maintaining peace with monsters. "Do be cautious. Her highness has been quite upset for the past few ours?"
"Whys that?"
"How she's been able to handle that oaf's idiocy for so long is beyond me. I count it fortunate you don't share his family's blood."
"Okay, that will be all, Manfred." Steven immediately ran past him in a hurry. "Guess he couldn't 'meeting' his way out of this time." He wondered what his dad do that finally made Mom snap. Was it even his Dad's fault? Did the whole Crystal Gem thing just have his mom bent out of shape, more than he thought it did? Was him mom more mad at him? "Only one way to find out."
His gently tapped on her room's door, and it slowly preyed open. His mother had her hair completely down instead of it's usually heart shape, making Steven realize how much Star did take after their mother, despite the personality differences. She was sitting on her bed with a forlorn frown across her face. And right across from her, was a picture of the Rose Guar..., his 'real mom'. "I know we haven't talked since, well, since you left. It's easy to forget with beings of such high magical prowess that death is still something we can't overcome. I couldn't grieve my mother's, passing, until you came along and told me it was okay. You may not have agreed with what I've done, but I hope you at least understand why I had to do it."
"Do what, Mom?" Steven walked up to her, and the Queen barely batted an eye to his entrance, though a softer expression came over her. "Do you mean.."
"It, it isn't exactly related to you, Quartz. The Rose Guard was an advisor, just like all members of the commission are, and just like any of them, their were things we didn't agree with."
"Really?! You disagreed with Mo..with her?" Steven wasn't so subtle with his correction.
"It's okay to call her mother, Quartz. I believed she earned it." Moon smiled. "Yes, their were things we couldn't just get on the same page. She was a peacekeeper, but there are those that take advantage of other's kindness and mercy. Some just don't care what others have to protect, just as long as they get their slimy, scaly hands on whatever they want." A darkness grew within the Queens mind, clearly picture something, or someone specific.
"Do, do you think she would've disagreed with you taking me in?" Steven asked, and the pain in Moon's heart grew immensely. Taking in that little baby had been the best thing they ever could've done for their daughter, and in the long run, she convinced herself it was for the best he had been found by them, but Star's question stung worse than a million unicorn horns to the stomach. She had been ready to send the baby to the nearest orphanage before Star's magical awakening. It was only after she learned of their intertwined fate that she made him the latest Butterfly.
"I, I don't know. I apparently new her less than I thought. Never would I have suspected she would've chosen such a simple planet to call home."
"So you're still learning about her too, I guess." Steven chuckled. "And I thought you were and expert on all things Rose Guard."
"Oh heavens no! I probably will never even scratch the surface of what she knew." She shared a small laugh. This boy was her son. In a way, she was more his mother than the Rose Guard was.
"So, does any of this have anything to do with Dad being gone?"
"Oh, ah, sorta, maybe." She almost forgot about that. "River, your father, he's just a bit, much. You can understand that?"
"Yeah. Sometimes." They shared a knowing look. "You know, I haven't had a guitar lesson in a long while. I think I could use a refresher course."
"Oh really?" Oh right. They had this together. He had adventures and hunting with Star and River, but this was her thing with Quartz. "I suppose I can take some time off. Maybe a little music will do us some good. My mother use to always say a great pie can fuel the body, but great music can feed the soul."
"Alright then! Lets feast on music!"
"And maybe we can work on metaphors next."
"Star, please for once, don't follow through on the first instinct that enters your head!" Marco pleaded to his dimensional friend as she loomed over her stash of cookies like a dragon protecting it's hoard. He did his best to sway her away from doing something reckless, but it seemed that not even the promise of nachos could get her to snap out of it. "They're not actually magic. They're just random sentences on paper written super vaguely so people can read almost anything into them."
"Hah, yeah right Marco, I may be new to your earth customs, but I know a trick when hear it!" Star accused. "You just want this magic goodness all to yourself!"
"I'm not lying!" Marco set his nachos down. "Okay, I was lying before, but I'm not lying now. They're made in a factory, like practically everything we use."
"Oh yeah, I totally believe that." Star rolled her eyes. "And next you'll tell me that's how they get the snow in snow globes. ITS clearly the work of dark wizards." To prove her point, Star opened another. "An unexpected visitor will greet you shortly." Star waited impatiently by the door, expecting someone to burst in any minute.
Marco opened the door himself and sure enough, no one was there. He opened it again, and the same result came. He repeated the action over and over again with the same unamused look on his face. "See, no one is coming. Now who wants nachos.."
"Ooooh, Nachos." A deep but friendly voice came from the door, catching both the teen by surprise, though for different reasons.
"DAD?!"
"Star, I was.." Star ran towards her father and closed the door, breathing heavily.
"Ahhhh! The magic has turned on me! Quick, Marco! You take them back! I don't want your earth magic anymore!"
As much as Marco was relieved to get one mess waiting to happen out of the way, he didn't have the time to enjoy when another one was just around the corner. "Star, I thought we didn't have to do this anymore. Isn't your Dad the one that's actually pretty chill about your magical exploits?"
"Duh, of course, But.." Star began to argue, only to stop herself. "Hey, you're right! I don't have anything to fear from my dad! He's the cool parent!" Star reopened the door. "Hey dad! Watcha doing on earth all of a sudden?"
"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood, and I thought I.." River sighed with sorrow and confessed as he pulled on his beard. "Oh, it's your mother. She's banished me from the castle until further notice."
"Really? Didn't think she'd actually follow through on that threat." Star wondered out loud, knowing enough of her mother's threats to make an entire book out of them. In fact, she was all set to have volume one published next week. "What did you do?"
"I left a garment or two lying around, smashed a hole in one too many walls, I leave too much meat stuck in my beard.." He explained as a laser puppy ran up to him and sniffed around his facial hair. "..the reason doesn't matter, the main thing to take away here is that your mother can be soo overbearing. You get what I mean?"
"You have no idea." Star agreed, grateful to know she had a kindred spirit in her father, until the laser puppy fired right in his face, charring his beard to a crisp. "This doesn't ruin the bonding moment we were in the middle of, right?"
"Star, if your mother was aware how you were using her magic, she would send you straight to Saint Olga's." River reminded her, before chuckling. "Luckily for you, I'm not your mother! I rather prefer cute and destructive puppies running all over the place."
"Exactly! They make the whole place feel more alive!" Star hugged her father, tugging on his beard. "This visit's actually going to be fun! Looks like I got those magical cookies just in time."
"Magical cookies?"
"Nope! Nope, no, no, absolutely not, cutting it off right here!" Marco cut in. One ignorant Mewman was bad enough, and he didn't like his chances with Star's like minded father. "It was just a prank! Cookies can't be magical!"
"How DARE you say such blasphemy! All food is magical!" The king proclaimed. "Without that magic, my people wouldn't be able to thrive on corn! And the way my moon-pie cooks pies? One bite is all you need to prove that magic's real!"
"Yeah, besides, back on Mewni, we serve calzone's that tell you when you're going to die." Star added. "Although the first time Steven ate one, it just told us 'inconclusive, you'll outlive everyone you love.'. I'm sure that's nothing to stress over." She cheerfully opened another cookie. "Reach for the Stars and follow your dreams."
"That I shall!" River responded, taking the crescent moon staff her carried around with him, and threw it through the roof, unknowingly alerting a spying Buff Frog. "Yes! It's always been my dream to make random holes in houses without having to suffer the consequences!"
"And I've always dreamed of having a skylight in here!" Star awed, only to turn her attention to the red hooded teen, who got crushed underneath all the rubble that was made. "See non-believer. This is what happens when you don't embrace the magic. Blindly following these cookies has been the best decision I've ever made."
"Can you help me up?"
Star opened up her cookie before doing so. "Yes. Yes I will."
"AHAHAHAAAAAAAAARGGGHH!" The mad ravings of the short bird villain rand all throughout his castle, half because of how today's events went, and half because his minions were general morons. "You, you guys are totally useless!" The sad mumbles and cries of said morons weren't in disagreement about this. "Every time, every day we go through the same scenario, and every time, it's the same result! Over and over again! I feel myself going insane!" Ludo only got angrier as one of his monsters continually entered a wrinkled dollar into the vending machine he knew for sure he couldn't afford. "Oh just get change!" He snapped. "I need someone competent enough to whip you losers into shape."
"How you going to do that, boss?"
"The same way I hired half of you bums. Send out the help wanted ads."
"Set of skills? Nope." A four armed, six eyed monster described himself honestly as he sat in Ludo's office. "Not a one. No one's ever been stupid enough to hire me."
"Weaknesses? I don't have any." A long necked monster said with a touch of worry, before his neck gave out.
The next few didn't fair any better. The pig lady couldn't handle the pressure and jumped out the window. The fur ball horn man laid in on too thick with his friendship angle, and the man baby his was half sure was just one of his minions in disguise couldn't even say a single sentence correctly.
It went on and on like this for hours. A pile of slime, a marshmallow cat thing, even some creepy genderbent version of himself, not a single one showed a sign of intelligence, let alone a spine. Rubbing his temples, Ludo could already feel the headache forming. "These guys are some how even more dumb than you idiots." Honestly, today actually felt like a good time to start looking into alternate career choices.
"West Mewnian swamp water?" A gentle but straight forward voice slid a glass with an eyeball in it to the bird man. The man in question looked up, and saw a giant lizard with neatly combed hair and dressed in the fanciest suit that no other monster would even be able to afford, let alone get their hands on, almost like he was applying for a business firm. The only off thing about him was the middle finger on his right hand was gone, like if it were chopped off with a butcher's knife. "Or do you drink from the bottle?"
"On days like this..." Ludo absently said, drowning his beak in the filthy cup.
"Tell me about it."
"Oh, I'll tell you about it. You see, I've been trying to steal a wand from a teenage girl, and it's harder than it ought to be, not to mention her annoying brother who turned the only brother I loved against me and WAIT A SECOND!?" He tossed his glass. "Where did you come from?"
"I let myself in."
"When?"
"When you hired me."
"I hired you?"
"I accept."
"Great!" Ludo accepted like he wasn't duped like a total tool.
"We'll start tomorrow." The lizard left almost as quickly as he came, leaving only a black business card that only read one word.
"Toffee?" Ludo read out loud with anticipation. "Hm, guess his name is Toffee!"
Usually, if one stood by and put there ear next to the walls of the Butterfly Castle, one could hear constant explosions, endless singing, constant banging on the floors, and of course, the yelling, the ear bleeding, deaf inducing yelling, whether out of happiness or anger.
But on a rare occasion, such as today, one could find a rare harmony ringing through the walls. A dual melody that could only come from two specific members of the royal family.
Moon sat beside her son in his room, on his bed with her own personalized guitar as her son played on and on endlessly on his ukulele. It was cute watching him get loss in his own passion.
"When I think of starlight, I think about you..
When I stare into night, I never feel blue..
Sure there's days a feel the fright
and I know I'm not so bright
But I swear to Butterfly might
that I'll stay true...
and loyal to you."
"Quartz, can I say just how, amazed I am that you can come up with little ditties on the spot." Really, it made her wonder whether or not she was THAT lazy as a teen, if her son could make more original stuff when she struggle to remember the basics.
"Eh, not that hard. Just singing from the heart." It touch the Mewman queen that she had a hobby she could bond over with one of her kids, just as her mother did. She use to be able to bond with Star before Quartz, but now it didn't look like many of those days were in the future. "You know, it wasn't my mother who taught me how to play."
"Really?"
"Oh no, no, she was horrible. She couldn't tell an elbow from a trombone." She giggled at her pun. "Her passion was baking. When I was little, she would take me to the kitchen all the time, she hardly allowed any of her chefs to cook for us."
"Is that why you use to take Star into the kitchen?" Steven wondered. "I-I remember. You would bake your pies side by side while singing that song, right? How'd it go? Over and under and around and through...?"
"Take the little Mewni rabbit and pull it through." A song she's long since stop singing, but would never forget. A song she couldn't forget, no matter how much she tried. "When you were old enough, she would take you to the kitchen and have you taste test the pies to see who's was better."
"Who would win?"
"Well, not to brag, but I was the one who taught her.." She blushed. "Of course, she'd cheat occasionally by dumping tubs of ice cream on top to win you over."
"Hey, don't knock it till you try it. Ice cream is a legitimate condiment to any delectable dessert."
"I'd be inclined to agree, but then Star would bring your father in, and that's a WHOLE other matter." Those moments where she would bond with her entire family. Where her ENTIRE family was happy. Where there weren't any secrets or half truths. Where they were just one family unit. "Oh those were the days. Of course, now Star refuses to tell me anything because she can't bring herself to trust me, when it's I who shouldn't trust her with anything, with her silly obsession with never growing up.."
"Mom.."
"And of course, she has to take after her father! I mean, all I ask is for him to clean up the hairs in the bathroom once, just once! He can't bring himself to care about me or my problems because apparently I don't matter enough for him to.."
"Mom!"
"...Of course I care about you! I wouldn't have let Star be said. I would've changed my mind, I would've, because I'm a good mother, and I make the right choices for my family.."
"MOM!" Steven shook the Queen. "Is it about dad, about Star, or about me?"
"Uh.." Moon felt the shame override her. "I-uh, no. No, it's not about you, or them." She got up. "It's me that's the problem. I thought I was doing fine. Guess I managed to mess everything up."
"Mom, don't.." She left before he could finish. "Ughh. Hope Dad isn't giving Star too much to handle. And Mom's suppose to be the rational one."
Star in fact, wasn't having it easier, at least, that's what she was about to find out. Her dad started off the morning flooding the toilet and getting the water every where, but it wasn't like that was anything knew around the house. Besides, who could resist putting everything in that tiny white bowl of swirls.
"Okay dad, today's fortune cookie said to greet the day by trying something new! Which is why we're mini golfing!" She guided her dad through the course, which had an odd familiarity to the Butterfly homeland. It was a great place to go whenever she was feeling nostalgic. Although for the king, it might've felt a little too much like home. "Marco taught me all about this. You take this little moon, and hit it to get it into that little hole." She pointed to the top of the hill with a frog statue resting beside it."
"Ohhoohhoo, what fun!" He held his club upside down and prepared to take a swing.
"Wait, no, that's not right. You're holding your club the wrong way." She explained, which made River adopt a confused look.
"This is what counts as a club here?" He tossed it aside. "If there's on thing we have better on Mewni, it's weapons!" He took out his 'club, which looked more like a ram-shaped battling ram. "Talley-HO!" He took his turn despite his daughters ongoing protests and proceeded to hit his target.
CLANK
It just so happed his target wasn't the hole, but the frog statue. "Okay, a decent start. Nothing I've wouldn't have tried on my first time. Actually, that was what happened on my first try, so your good."
"Hah, how's that for getting it into the hole!" Missing the point of the game, he laughed triumphantly, only stopping when he heard cheery music from the north, the source seemed to be a tiny pink castle. "Whats that?!"
"Oh, the candy castle, that's the next hole.."
"Lord Salavari of the weebler elf clan!" He mistook the game for something real. "So this is where you've been hiding all this time, you sly dog!" He charged with his club held high.
"What?" Star could only stare as her father crushed the plastic attraction into the ground. Others were watching more and more, mostly to wonder why what appeared to be Santa was demolishing a place for family's and children to relax and frolic in. Star was conflicted with both embarrassment and a sense of de ja vu. What was so familiar about a Butterfly utterly disregarding common sense and making a total mess out of things. "Okay cookies, what do I do about this?"
An apple a day keeps doctors away
"How the heck is that useful!?
"That'll teach you to stare at my wide!" Star failed to reign her father back from his madness, and more importantly, failed to stop him from launching one of the tiki torches from the other holes and spreading the fire to the point where the entire golf course had to flee away, least they be bar-b-qued alive. And despite the cries of despair, the childhoods that'll no doubt be scarred in the great golf park fire, and the police that'll soon be taking them in for questioning, River couldn't help but get the last laugh. "The ball is in your court now, Salavari!"
Night time didn't prove to be any better, as her father proved to be quite the fighter in his sleep, as in Star found out where her habit of sleep fighting came from, of course she was sure she could've lived her entire life without knowing this if it meant less bruises around her arms and back. Star didn't bother with getting her father to bed, hoping his body would give out before the night was over.
Even with that slim amount of hope of that happening, Star was able to find enough comfort in her own bed to fall asleep, even if her blanket smelled strangely smellier than usual. "Huh" The stench made her face cringe as she slowly opened her eyes, and found out that in her hands was not her blanket, but her fathers unusually large and dirty underwear. "AHHHHHHHH! Gross, gross, gross, gross!" She didn't fee nearly this dirty rolling in mud! "Dad.." She grab her wand and used it as a flash light to finder her father, which even counting for the large scale of her room, was pretty difficult to do, mostly in part to her father's bad habit of flinging his stuff around like it's nobody's business. "Come on dad! Even Quartz knows how to keep his room tidy! This is like somebody took everything out of my secrets closet."
It wasn't too difficult after that to locate her father, as a flurry of creatures she's spelled into existence over the past few months flew over her and hovered around one particularly large pile of dirty laundry, though most were fleeing away in terror from the little cave that was carved into it.
Star wasn't sure what was more gross: the fact that the clothes where soo mixed up that she'd probably have to start cleaning them with just to get the stains off, or the fact that in the middle of the mess was her father, in sweaty and greasy glory, was wrestling a clown at 2 in the morning while a small circle of gnomes and raccoons where placing bets on the winner. "Dad! What are you doing?"
"Ahaha, hello darling!" River smiled despite the clown pinning his arm against his back. "Just getting in a tussle of 12 to keep in shape!"
"It's the middle of the night!"
"The perfect time to wrestle! Isn't that right, Clowney?"
"The names Kevin." The white pasted entertainer proclaimed, before being tossed into a strangely HARD pile of clothing, bringing the clown to tears.
"You know Star, this use to be sort of a tradition!" River fondly remembered, knowing exactly when to punch the clown whenever he got too close. "Before I started sneaking out regularly, Me and Quartz use to wrestle in the hallways at night!"
"Really?" Huh, Qu..Steven didn't bring that up. "I don't recall him telling me about it."
"Really, because it was quite intense!" He elbowed the clown right in the face. "I'd teach him my special techniques in pile driving and holds. He'd even came up with something on his own: The Butterfly Bomb!"
"Wow, guess he was working on that for a while." That explains why he started doing that. "Guess he learned allot about fighting from you."
"Yeah, I suppose. Once his magic started getting more powerful, I'd thought I'd be us against the world! I'd bring him to the words and we'd hunt to our hearts content, just as my father taught me! But, eh, your mother had other plans." He loosened his grip on the clown, allowing him to escape the hold, though River hardly paid him any attention as the attacks continued. "But I guess she knows best. Magic is her realm after all."
"Dad.."
"Bah, who needs them! I got daddy's little girl right here. And we'd get to have fun all night!" He brought her into a big and sweaty hug, and Star couldn't find it in herself to pull away.
Though that was partially because he was sticky and she wasn't sure she could.
"All right, Toffee, I'm going to show you exactly what we're dealing with." Ludo brought in his 'specialist' to the lounge area of his castle. "I'm sure when you look at us, we don't come off as too impressive, but I say in a pinch we..". As he was explaining, the monsters in questions were in the midst in what looked like a dance battle, which soon escalated into a full fledged fight when somebody that putting a 'kick me sign' on someone's back would be a good idea. "Oh boy."
"I take it this is a standard morning for you?" Toffee did little to offer any bright sides.
"So much so I have it scheduled down to the minute." Behind him, the most loyal monster of them all, Buff Frog, emerged from his portal. "Just give it to me straight, we're doomed to failure, aren't we? I can handle the truth."
"Master! The Butterfly's are currently separated from each other. The boy is home with mother, while Father is on earth. Also, the girl has gained a fascination with tiny messages in her cookies. She believe everything that they tell her.."
"INTERUPPTING!" Ludo chastised his minion. "Seriously, I'm so sorry for that, I didn't include manners in any of the job descriptions. Now tell me, we're a total mess, right?"
"Not, quite." Toffee thought carefully, looking at and analyzing what the frog man said. "There's certainly potential at the curret moment. Perhaps we can take advantage of these, Fortune Cookies." The way he spoke made it hard to tell whether or not he was enthused or discouraged.
"Master.." Buff, giving a weary look at the business lizard, slid the little bird man to the side despite the latter's protests. "Are you certain we can trust him? I don't like way he looks at everyone. Clearly no respect for anyone here."
"Well of course not, it's not like he's been given many options. I don't even respect anyone here." Ludo sighed. "I'm tired of losing, Buff Frog. We're running low on options, and he's the only one with some kind of brain here. So do I trust him? Yes. If you can't stand a little pandering, then get out! Got it?" Buff Frog nodded respectfully. "Good." Ludo rejoined Toffee's side like they were already best friends with each other.
Buff Frog, for all his years of spying and loyalty, knew how to read certain people. People with agendas, people who weasled their way to the top, people that clearly were smarter and more capable than they let on. So one question remained in his head.
What was Toffee really after?
Star couldn't return to sleep that night, having anger and guilt cloud her mind as she attempted to forget about it during breakfast. Though the bags under her eyes and Marco's judgmental stare made it hard to focus on anything else. "Whatcha looking at?"
Marco held a small scowl as he took another bite out of his cereal. "I noticed it was ridiculously loud last night."
"It wasn't me, Oscar!" Star's tired state kept her from focusing on the amount of syrup she was putting on her pancakes. "It was my dad, who as you could tell, IS COMPLETELY INSANE! And these cookies are no help either." She pulled out the fortune she had last night.
you will buy new pants
"Seriously! It's like whoever's in charge of writing my future isn't even trying to help me!" Star huffed. "ARGGH! It's not fair! He thinks he can just suddenly come down to earth whenever he wants?! He is soo inconsiderate!"
Marco did his best to hide his shock. "Huh. I can weirdly relate."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"That doesn't sound familiar at all to you?" Marco asked. "A loud Mewman suddenly crashes into your perfectly normal life, and despite all their good intentions they can come off as annoying, overbearing, and just a tiny bit too much too handle?"
"Yeah."Star thought. "Yeah your right! He does this to my MOM all the time!"
"Never mind."
"Is this why's she's so cranky all the time? Wow, I take back half the stuff I say about her." Star wondered if Steven had to deal with this at all. Being with too contrasting personalities all the time with her to handle one while he takes care of the other. Must be pretty stressful to deal with that all the time. "Well, guess it doesn't matter." Star didn't noticed her father swinging outside, about to crash into the window. "I'm just glad that he'll be going back today, and be out of my.."
"STAR!"
"Dad!" She let him inside as he was covered in party lights. "What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I'm hanging lights for the party!"
"What..Party?"
"Oh, I've had such a great time hanging you with my favorite daughter that I've decided that I'm going to live here with you from now own! I've decided that I should throw myself a bit of a housewarming party!"
"WHAT!?" System Crashing! Can't compute! "Bu-but what, what about Mom, and Quartz! I'm sure they'd miss you."
"Miss me for what? Moon-pie perfectly capable of running the kingdom without me, and Quartz is old enough to be man of the house. I'm sure a few years apart won't be too much to ask for." River untangled himself. "I guess all there's left to do is call all the guests."
"NO!" Star shoved the box of cookies she had on her. "I-I mean, we shouldn't be too hasty! Consult with the fortune cookies first! I'm sure they'll lead you in the right direction." She left them in his arms and sprinted upstairs.
River blinked before cracking open his cookie. "You're at your best when your with others.' What!? You're insinuating that I'm an idiot on my own!? I'll show you." He got out the club as Marco watch, not even blinking an eye at the chaos.
"I'm too use to this."
Upstairs, Star waited impatiently by the fun. "Pick up, pick up!" Star panicked, gaining relief once the image of her younger brother showed itself. "Steven! Thank corn you picked up, cause dad's going crazy and I need you to convince him to come home!"
"Things not going too well on your end too, right?"
"You have no idea. Dad already marked his territory in my room, and I do NOT want to constantly break up gambling rings every time he picks a fight with a gnome. Why, what's new with you?"
"I think Mom's depressed. We were having fun earlier, but now she's not coming out of her room." Steven rubbed his forehead. "AgH, makes me almost wish the Rose Guard wasn't my mother if it meant avoiding any of this."
"Hey, no regrets! We did good then." Star reassured. "Dad was being weird last night to. Guess he doesn't have much to do around the castle outside his usual thing, and Mom's constantly berating him." Star grunted. "You know what, we shouldn't even be dealing with their problems! They're the one's with the issues, they should solve it themselves!"
"Yeah, oddly enough, I really don't think I can help mom with this." Steven admitted regretfully. "But it's not like we can force them to get together. Heck, if we even mention the other's name to either of them, they're more likely to avoid whatever we try to do."
"Yeah." Star dinged. "Unless they don't know ahead of time! Quartz, I have a plan! You get Mom and do whatever it takes to come with you. I'll lead dad along. You meet up with us at the Chinese restaurant, and I'll handle it from there, got it!"
"Got it! What's Chinese?"
"Food that you eat with sticks. See you there." Star rushed back down. "Hey dad..."
"Not now Star, I'm busy rectifying a few fortunes." River got out his club and began smashing what was left of the cookies with his club. "None of these magical cookies are helpful! What good is a fortune if they don't tell you what you need to know."
"Perfect!" She shouted a little too loudly. "I mean, ah that means we should get more! Those cookies were stale anyways. That's why we should go back to the restaurant for fresh cookies, that way the magic will be stronger, right..?" She eyes Marco.
Not sure of her plan, but also desperate to get the wild king out of the house, Marco complied. "Ah, sure, yes. That's definitely how magic on earth works.
"You know Star, that would sound completely ridiculous.." River brought both teens into a hug. "..coming from anyone other than you! AHAHA, well then! Lets grab on to our future!"
Actually returning to the restaurant proved to be a task all on it's on, which again, was all in due to River's natural curiosity and impulsiveness, to the point where Star had to use a spell to keep him on a leash, and even then he still managed to take a bite out of the donut on top of the Big Donut, a feat Star couldn't help but smile over, considering her own failure in doing so.
"Star, I don't see how getting more cookies is going to make things better." Marco complained as they got closer. "I keep telling you, they're not really magic! The people at the restaurant will back me up on this! Food can't predict the future!"
"Of course it can! Star, didn't you tell him about the calzones! Thanks to them, I know now to bring an axe with me before I go to bed."
Star rolled her eyes as she turned to her best friend. "Whether or not they are real doesn't matter! Dad wants more, and we'll give him more. My brother can handle the rest from there. Completely fool proof." Star felt around her purse. "Besides, I only have one cookie left. If we don't get anymore I'm sure Dad'll go on a rampage around the house."
"Fair point." The three went to the restaurant with little trouble after that, though they were lured to the alleyway, where a dance battle was taken place between two heavily hooded individuals. Unknown to any of them, one of Ludo's minions, a fly monster, snuck up from behind and replaced the cookie she had with another. "Oooh, I think one of them is about to be served.
As Marco watched in engagement, and the two Mewmans watched in confusion( River: Seriously! You call this a fight!?" Toffee and Ludo watched from behind. "Good work." Toffee petted the fly as Ludo eagerly awaited his for sure victory.
Before they knew it, the monsters took off their disguises and surrounded them. Everyone was prepared to fight. "Wait!" River interrupted. "What does the cookie say!?"
"Oh yeah." Star cracked it open. "Love is always the answer."
"That's literally the worse thing we can here right now, right?" Marco turned to his friend, who looked weirdly convinced. "Right!?"
"I don't know. This is the kind of thing my brother's always talking about." Star wondered. "It is the will of the cookie."
"Oh come on!" Marco now found himself surrounded. "King! You're a born fighter! Tell Star that she's being ridiculous."
"Well, I do like fighting, that much is true." River argued. "But it was my eagerness to fight off these creatures that drove me away from my Moon Pie. Perhaps I do need to think deeply about my actions, and seriously think about the consequences that impact not only myself, but those around me caught in the crossfire."
"NOWS NOT THE TIME TO THINK REASONABLY!" Marco yelled as the monsters picked him up and threw him in a dumpster. "Or unreasonably, ach, however you're thinking right now, stop it."
His pleas went mostly unheard as Star fought back with love by hugging every monster that came her way, which actually did succeed in making the monsters a lot more docile. Of course, having her wand out also, it was out in the open, and up for grabs. A happy Ludo pounced his way towards it, giggling like a child as he pushed more and more of his minions out of the way. "It's mine, it's mine, it's finally going to be mine!" He reached out. "Yes, yes! YEEEEESSSS!"
"What in the world is going on here?" Ludo, Star, and everyone else froze solid. Toffee, jumping ahead, wisely decided to make his way towards the roof before anyone could spot him. "Star, what are you..River are you.." Steven, alongside his mother, had entered the alleyway. "What are Ludo's minions doing here? Is this, is this a regular occurrence Star!?"
"Well, I wouldn't say this happens everyday, but I've, you know.." Star stopped hugging a struggled to keep the story straight. "Steven! What exactly are you doing here?"
"I'm going along with the plan as you said, remember? You'd bring dad, I'd bring mom, and we'd force them into an environment where they'd have to talk about their problems and it took while to find this place and.." Star glared. "And you were talking hypothetically, weren't you?"
"Moon-Pie!" River wasted no time in greeting his wife with the biggest hug he could muster, before letting go. "I, ah, how have you been? How's the castle."
"A lot more quiet." Moon answered. "A bit too quiet actually."
"Really? Because it's been a blast over here. Hahaha, very lively! Practically not a moment of silence around."
"That sounds terrible."
"Terribly fun you mean!" River laughed heartily and Moon gave a small chuckle. "I suppose though that I've had enough partying for a while. Actually wouldn't mind doing something a little more, quiet."
"Really, because I was hoping you'd be willing to try my new pie recipe. I believe the explosives are quite powerful now.
"Exploding pies? But you haven't made those since we've started dating!"
"Eh, I've been feeling a bit, nostalgic." Moon rubbed her son's head. "Now, can somebody tell me WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE MULTIVERSE IS GOING ON HERE!?"
"No, no, no, NO!" Ludo pouted. "You're, you're not suppose to be here!" He pointed to Moon, before pointing to Steven. "You're not suppose to be here! Why do you keep meddling in my affairs! This plan could've worked this time if it wasn't for you and your annoying family!"
"Plan? What plan?" Star let go of the monster she was hugging, realizing she still had her wand in her hand. "You used the fortune cookies to get the wand, didn't you?"
"Whoop-de-do! The princess DOES have a brain!" Ludo shouted, before getting punted by River.
"Nobody talks to me daughter like that!" River was attacked from behind by the chicken monster, before being socked in the face by Queen Moon.
"And nobody touches my husband like that!"
"And nobody attacks my family without going through me!" Steven held up his arms, creating a giant bubble before throwing on the ground, blinding the monsters in a flash of light. "Sorry. I thought this was something we were all going to do together. I thought it was my turn."
Marco finally fought his way out of the dumpster he was in, making his way to Star. "What I miss?"
"Fortune cookies really aren't real, are they?"
"That's what I've been telling you all day!" Marco sighed. "So you finally see the truth?"
"Yeah. Love is never the answer!"
"I highly disagree with that statement!" Steven added. "I mean, you realize what JUST happened not even a minute ago."
"Okay, love in this specific moment right now is not the answer."
"Better."
"MEGA MUSHROOM DESTRUCTION BLAST!" Star blasted swirls of blue, creating an explosion that washed away the monsters in the alley, all the while Toffee watched the display, weirdly smiling at the failure unfolding before him.
"Just as chaotic as I figured. Even more so." His attention to the boy. "The bond has been linked perfectly." He grinned even wider at the sight of the Queen. "Not yet, Moon. Your time hasn't come yet." He left just as Moon's attention went towards the roof. She blinked once, not sure if she saw what she thought she saw. It was gone as soon blinked again.
"So is everything better now?" Steven said out loud. "We're all good, right? No more arguing, grudges, or secrets we need to get out in the open?"
"Not quite." Moon answered. "Star, what was that about? Ludo was here, and you almost let the wand fall into enemy hands!"
"But I didn't, and I never will, and I've always kept it safe, mom." Star rolled his eyes. "Ludo's literally bottom of the barrel when it comes to threats. If anything, he's basically that little warm up in the morning before I go to school. Tell me, in everything you saw in the last 3 minutes, do you think I can't handle myself?"
"I, ah, I,.." Moon tugged on her hair. "I know you're capable Star, but I wish I was at least aware, that's where the trust needs to come." Moon sighed. "I guess we both need work in that area."
"Yeah." Star agreed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about, everything."
"So am I." She turned to Steven. "Quartz...Steven, I, I love you. Both of you." She turned to River. "All of you. I don't want there to be any doubt about that. Ever."
"HAHAHA, LOOK AT US." River scooped up the entirety of his family plus Marco. "All of us together again! Let's never fight again. In fact, lets together on Earth more often. Marco my boy, tell me, where's the highest and spikiest Cliffside around here?"
"Ooh, weird girl." From the side of the restaurant, the waitress from before came out with more cookies. "Want more stale cookies?"
"Or we can celebrate with dessert." Star diverted the attention to the cookies, while getting a judgmental look from Marco. "What, I know they're not real fortunes, but I do know they're real cookies!" She grabbed the box and handed them to her family. "Okay, on three, we all open ours. 1, 2, 3!"
Moon stared down at hers. "'You're past will come to define you're future.'
River read his. "'You will be the eagle king'"
Steven read his. "'You are conflicted in a battle of the heart and mind."
Star. "'A great evil has been unleashed.'" Everyone looked at each other with serious looks, before laughing it off. "HAHAHAHA, wow, why did I ever take this seriously?"
"Heheh, yeah." Moon calmed down, still having a bit of worry in the back of her head. "Star, you haven't happen to come across any, Lizards among Ludo's men, have you?"
"Nope, none that I recall, Steven?" The prince shook his head. "Why?"
"Nothing, nothing at all." Moon looked upward. "Just being overly cautious."
Back at Ludo's castle, despite the loss, the small bird man was actually able to find it within himself to be happy for once. He gave cheers to his latest addition to the team, who he shared a glass of swamp water with. "Cheers. That was the closest we've ever come." His mood turn soured. "It should've worked, but that girl is always getting the best of me. No, not just her, that entire blasted family just needs to go!"
"Believe me, I know how you feel." Toffee agreed as he stared out the window, intensely gazing at the sight of Butterfly Castle. "Things use to be different, you know. Before the Butterfly's came, we ruled this land. But, they had magic." Toffee looked down at his missing finger. "You're not the first monster to fall victim to it, not will you be the last."
"Ain't that the truth." Ludo gulped down his drink. "Well, things will be different once I have it. Can you imagine it? Monster's with the power of magic? Hahaha, pew, pew, pew."
Toffee said nothing in response, letting Ludo retreat to his childish fantasies as he kept his gaze on the castle, as if he were a predator, carefully abiding his time to make his move.
Yeah, since I want this version of Steven to start making friends closer to his age, expect little crossovers like at the beginning every few chapters or so.
Also why Lilo and Stitch? Because it was my favorite disney movie growing up, and today it's a close second right next to Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Next time: So many birthdays