"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"
At these words, Emma's heart had missed a beat and she had immediately accepted Regina's invitation. They had agreed to go back to change and meet up an hour later at the mayor's home. Her heart was beating wildly when she appeared suddenly at Granny's where she hailed Ruby who, luckily, had just finished her shift.
"Ruby, it's an emergency! I need you now!"
"Uh yes, hi, Emma."
"Yeah yeah, hi … I'm begging you, I need you to help me!"
"What's going on? Is it serious? You look panicked …"
Emma moved closer to her friend and whispered in her ear.
"Regina invited me to dinner tonight! And I have no idea what to wear!"
Ruby refrained herself from giggling. That is what this is about ... What can we be stupid when we are in love! However, if a part of her wanted to make fun of her friend, deep down in her heart she was happy for her. She was proud that she trusted her in this difficult moment which was their first real date.
"You're talking to the right person! Let's go, and thanks to my pieces of advice, we're going to make Madam Mayor even more crazy about you!" With these words, the waitress protectively put her arms around Emma's shoulders and the two of them headed for her room.
After having dropped Graham off at his house, Regina and the children went to 108 Mifflin Street. It had been agreed that they would both stay together this evening, and their mothers made them promise to behave. They fully intended to keep their promises. It was not the time to ruin the operation, when it was starting to really be on the right track.
In front of her big cheval-glass, Regina was pensive. Was this dress too strict? On the contrary, was it too suggestive? She did not want to wear an outfit that was too light or too covered. Neither too low-cut, nor too hidden. Neither too severe, nor too risqué. It had been a long time since she had had so much trouble dressing herself for someone. She remembered her first dates with Daniel with tears in her eyes.
*Would you be proud of me today, Daniel?* She thought with emotion. Her love for him was still present in her and it probably would always be. But today, she knew it, she was ready to love again. Tonight, she had decided to ignore all the threats that were always present in her mind. Gold would not scare her. Not today. Not when she will be by Emma's side. She was making her stronger and her presence was making her forget about the threat constantly held over her head. Today, she wanted to enjoy and, purely and simply, love.
Emma's absence had weighed on Regina's heart all day. But a part of her was grateful to Graham for having imposed himself. Thanks to him, she had finally understood the importance of Emma in her life. And, without that day, she would probably have never dared to break up with the sheriff.
From her part, Emma was just as much struggling in front of her wardrobe. She had not took much clothes from Boston, so her choice was fast limited. She was surely not going to wear jeans to a date with the Madam Mayor. Finally, the two friends agreed on a simple outfit that changed radically with the usual look of the blonde: a white blouse and a black pantsuit. Ruby observed her friend attentively. She seemed to be thinking.
"It's not bad but it's missing a little something that will make the difference with a simple work outfit."
"'A simple work outfit'? Seriously, can you imagine me going to work in a suit? It's already huge for me!"
"Yes but we're talking about Regina here … You'll have to impress her, darling! And I think I know how." At these words, Ruby began to rummage in her bag and took out a simple black tie. In front of Emma's questioning air, she said. "No questions, you don't want to know … Come on, turn around, let me tie it for you."
Ruby had been right. This man's tie was perfect, it wonderfully added a little something to the strict suit. Even Emma seemed impressed. Her reflection in the mirror was the image of a very attractive woman, looking slightly androgynous but all the more sexy. She finished her preparation with a light make-up and doing her hair into a high ponytail.
"Wow honey, if you don't sweep her off her feet tonight, I don't understand!"
"Thanks Ruby. I hope it'll please her."
"I'm sure. In any case, if she doesn't want you, know that I'll be all alone tonight, that is to say that you can come without worry …"
Emma received the joke with a smile and punched her friend's shoulder, laughing. Then, after a little hesitation, she said.
"I know you've already done a lot for me, Rub' … But can I ask you one last thing, please?"
"On one condition." She replied with a smile. "You tell me everything tomorrow!"
"Huum … That's fair. So …"
For long minutes Emma explained her plan to her friend in detail. The more Emma spoke, the more Ruby's smile widened. When she was finished, the waitress simply told her.
"It's okay! Now go! You would not want to make your queen wait any longer …"
Emma nodded and the two friends left the room. Once she arrived at her car, she turned to Ruby who, remaining on the steps of the hotel, gave her an encouraging sign. She thanked her friend one last time and got into her car.
When she rang the doorbell at Regina's house, she did not wait long before the door opened. Regina was as nervous as Emma. In reality, she had been ready for long minutes and had been pacing up and down behind the door; anxious, wondering if her outfit was correct, if she could allow herself this night out, if Emma was going to come …
The door of the manor opened, revealing a brazen beauty named Regina. On high blood-red heels, she wore a dress of the same immaculate color and tight where it was necessary, with a plunging neckline whose sensuality was thwarted by small sleeves that could be on a little girl's dress. The whole outfit gave the impression of an exacerbated sensuality mixed with the purest innocence. Emma seemed crushed on the spot. Her heart had moved to another place. It was no longer beating in its usual place, but lower, much lower … Regina was as pleasantly surprised as Emma. She could not take her eyes off the body so perfectly showed off to advantage in front of her. The look half-tomboy fitted Emma like a glove, and the light make-up beautifully highlighted the green of her eyes.
How long had they stayed gazing at each other like this? One second, one minute, one hour? Time no longer mattered to them. At that moment, nothing was more important than to admire the other. It was an embarrassed clearing of the throat that pulled them out from their reverie. The twins in pajamas looked prouder than ever. They were staring at their mothers with happiness, a big smile was on their faces. Matthew seemed to discover a new Emma.
"You're so beautiful, Mom." He said, approaching to hug her.
"Thanks, kid."
"Children, we trust you. You watch a movie and you go to bed, is that understood?" Asked Regina, seriously.
"Yes, yes, don't worry, and above all… take your time!" Replied Henry with a teasing smile.
"Are you ready, Miss Swan?" Regina asked with a smile.
"Absolutely, Madam Mayor."
The two women closed the door of the manor on the two boys grinning from ear to ear.
In a courageous move, Emma took Regina's hand. This simple gesture meant so much to her. Then, according to the tension all over Regina's body at the same time, it meant a lot to the brunette too. Thus, it was hand in hand that Emma led Regina towards her small car.
"I do not want to be rude, Miss Swan, but do you really intend to get me into this death trap?" She asked, half panicked, half amused.
"Ok, we take yours but I drive." Emma replied with an air of finality.
"But-"
"It's non-negotiable, Madam Mayor." She whispered in her ear.
Emma's warm breath against her neck almost made her get out of her depth. Her light scent reached her nostrils and in an instant she nearly threw herself at the blonde.
They had always liked these little squabbles between each other. Those falsely contemptuous 'Miss Swan' and other 'Madam Mayor' had always created a kind of tension, a power struggle. But tonight, this fighting game took on a different hue. It turned into something much more erotic. These nicknames were highly electrifying for both of them, they knew it and played with it. Tonight they were not hiding anything from one another anymore.
"Where are you taking us?" The brunette spoke again.
"It's a surprise… For that matter, I'll have to blindfold you!" Emma replied.
"I do not think I will accept this kind of games, Miss Sw-"
"Hush, trust me."
Without giving Regina time to respond, Emma took a scarf out of her bag which she conscientiously tied over the brunette's eyes, then they sat in the sedan.
It only took them a few minutes to reach their destination. Emma ordered Regina not to move. She quickly went around the car and came to open the passenger side door. There, she delicately grabbed her partner's hand and made her get up. Regina was experiencing a sweet breeze blowing her hair and the sea air was pleasantly combined with the scent of the blonde. She was feeling good. Without a word, she felt Emma pull her by the hand and after a few steps, the texture changed under her feet. They were walking on sand. Would they be at the beach? Emma went behind her and took off the blindfold. She was delighted by what she saw: a few meters in front of them, on the beach, a lovely table had been set up. It was not a table of a great restaurant, however, it was not a picnic either. Two trestles supported a board covered with a pretty checkered tablecloth. This plank was lit by a few shells reused in small makeshift candle holders. Finally, a nice bunch of dune flowers was in the center of the table.
Emma discovered at the same time as Regina the work of Ruby and thanked her internally for having done that so quickly. Regina, meanwhile, expected everything except that and a strong emotion arose in her. Had Emma done all this for her? Someone cared about her so much?
"I know it's not really a 5-star table." Said the blonde, a little embarrassed. "But-"
"It's perfect." Interrupted Regina, tears in her eyes. "How did you do this?"
"Ahaaa, I won't say anything, but ... I have my network of contacts!"
Emma led the brunette by the hand to the table and the two women took their places on the wooden logs that served as seats. Then they raised their glass.
"The last time we drank a toast for our sons." Stated Emma. "I suggest that, this time, we drink to us."
"To us." She replied, looking straight in her eyes.
The meal consisted of simple salads from Granny's, hastily prepared by Ruby with the leftovers of the day. But for the two women, this dinner was the best they had tasted in a long time. Dinner was going on and neither of them dared to talk about serious matters, so they were talking about everything and nothing, about children, vacation, town hall, Boston…
Was it time to talk about Gold and Regina's fears? Or should she let her make the first move? Emma certainly did not want to rush Regina but she knew they should have this discussion. She was drawn from her thoughts by the light that was beginning to fade.
She got up and took Regina by the hand.
"Take off your shoes and follow me." She whispered.
Regina obeyed silently, curious to find out what new surprise Emma was going to reveal. As soon as her shoes were removed, she got up and took Emma by the hand. Their fingers intertwined automatically. They walked in the still warm sand for a few meters and arrived on a dune a little higher, from where they had a breathtaking view of the impending sunset. Emma motioned for her to sit on the mat arranged by the considerate waitress - once again - and she sat in her turn behind Regina, encircling her with her arms and legs. Regina would normally refuse such contact, such closeness, but tonight she just enjoyed being in Emma's arms. And, in order to accentuate this contact, she leaned back slightly, letting her head rest on the shoulder of her partner.
They had never been so close, whether physically or emotionally. Even if they had not really told each other, they knew their feelings were mutual, and they did not feel the need to put words on their emotions just yet. Emma cradled the brunette's body in her arms. They let themselves be well by the sound of the waves. And, in silence, they admired the beauty of the colors of the sun which was sinking in the dark waters of the ocean.
"It's wonderful, Emma…" Regina breathed. "I would like so much that this evening never ends…"
The sun had now completely disappeared below the horizon. Only bright red and orange streaks remained. The golden light embellished Regina's face and Emma thought she had rarely been so soothed in someone's arms. It was now or never. She had to tell her. If she did not do it now, she never could.
So, in a courageous move, she tenderly caressed the brunette's face, and spoke in a barely audible whisper.
"I love you, Regina."
Well, she had told her. It was not that difficult. But the waiting before Regina spoke again seemed to last forever.
"I love you too, Emma."
Saying these words, the brunette had completely turned around and was now facing the blonde. Looking straight into each other's eyes, each woman read in the eyes of the other all the sincerity of these confessions. Emma approached Regina's face with infinite sweetness and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek, then she stepped back. She wanted to take her time and especially not to rush anything, this thoughtfulness pleased her partner. In turn, Regina approached Emma's face and kissed her on her cheek. She stepped back with a smile. Emma immediately understood, Regina wanted to play. But there was nothing sexual in this game. In these kisses, they confessed their love and their deep mutual respect.
So Emma continued, she approached again and kissed Regina on her forehead. The brunette returned the favor. Then there was the tip of her nose, the corner of her eye, her temple, her neck… Each time, Regina answered Emma identically. Emma was closing her eyes under those tender kisses,appreciating the gentleness shown by the woman. The last kiss initiated by Emma brought her closer to Regina's so desired red lips. She placed a still chaste kiss on the corner of her lips. Each of the two women struggled not to devour the other's mouths. But the little game continued and Regina also kissed Emma on the corner of her lips. Then, desperate, Emma placed a final kiss directly on the mouth in front of her. It was too much for the two women. The darkness of their dilated pupils betrayed their desire for more. So they gave up the fight and let their lips caress each other. Although this kiss was not their first, it seemed to them that their mouths were discovered for the first time. Their lips caressed tenderly, followed by their tongues and their entire bodies.
Hugging each other, the temperature of their two bodies had suddenly skyrocketed, without either of them really noticing. They had forgotten where they were, and it was as if they were alone in the left Regina's mouth for a moment and plunged into the warm, soft neck. The scent of apple perfume intoxicated her. Her tongue played with the brunette's skin, following the shivers she elicited. Regina tilted her head back and gripped the blonde head to bring it closer to her body and her sensations. She would not have wanted to be separated from her for the world.
She felt that the brunette was receptive so Emma pushed her to lie down and accompanied her fall by slipping a protective arm behind her back. Were they really going to make love on this beach? Anyone could surprise them, but strangely, Emma did not care. She had forgotten the rest of the world. And it seemed to her that it was the same with Regina. The latter was now completely lying on the tablecloth and she hugged desperately the body of Emma, who was now attacking her cleavage. The moans she elicited encouraged and excited her like never before.
She stopped her enthusiasm for a brief moment, getting up a few inches to observe the body beneath her, as if to become aware of the reality. Regina opened her eyes questioningly, but Emma reassured her with a smile.
"You're so beautiful…"
"Come…" She whispered as she pulled the blonde's face to her mouth.
Emma then resumed the passion with rediscovered ardor. She had known some lovers… But tonight, what she was feeling was unlike anything she had known. As she kissed Regina Mills, she knew she would never want to kiss someone else again. Her mouth busy kissing the brunette's chest through the thin fabric of the dress, her left hand slowly moved up to her thigh. She slowly slid her hand up, pulling up the hem of the dress at the same time. Emma had almost pulled her up to her waist when the memories of the afternoon's discoveries came back to her. She could not do that to Regina. They had to talk first. So with all her will, she stopped and stood up to look Regina straight in the eye.
Frustration and incomprehension shone in the brown eyes. Emma did not give her time to react.
"Regina… First, I have to tell you something. I don't want you to give me this moment before I talk to you…"
"I'm listening to you." She replied worriedly, sitting up.
"Please don't take what I'm about to tell you the wrong way. What I did, I did it for us and-"
"Get straight to the point, please, you're scaring me now…"
"I discovered your connection with Mr. Gold." Emma abruptly said.
"So…?"
"So I didn't want us to make love without you knowing that I did some research on you." She confessed, her eyes lowered. "I didn't want you to feel betrayed. I know he adopted you and that's why you're afraid of him…"
At these words, Regina let out a quiet little laugh. Emma started to worry. What could make her laugh like that?
"I am not mad at you. Most of the city knows that Gold adopted me as a child." Her laughter faded as it came and her gaze clouded before she resumed. "But that's not really why I'm scared of him…"
"Please tell me." Emma pleaded, forcing her to look her in the eye. "Trust me. If you are afraid, I will protect you."
"There is nothing you can do to protect me. He's way too powerful…"
At Emma's dejected look, Regina felt miserably guilty. She was only trying to help her and she had just rebuffed her once again. Emma had just proved to her that she loved her. She had even made the effort to stop their caresses to confess that she did research on her. With anyone else, Regina would have screamed if she had heard that she had been spied on. But not with had done this to protect her and Regina knew it. And that moved her deep within herself. The least thing would be for her to return the favor. If she felt the smallest thing for Emma, she had to trust her, she had to tell her. Her desire for flesh made her heart beat faster, but she knew that it was more important for Emma at this moment to be reassured and to prove to her the blind trust she had in her.
Not having the strength to face Emma's gaze, she snuggled up in her arms, her back against hers and gazing straight at the horizon. Emma hugged the brunette against her chest, and rested her head on her shoulder. Since words were not enough, she wanted to make her feel like she was there. Reassured and confident, the brunette started to speak.
"Indeed, he adopted me. For the whole town he was a good surrogate father. I loved my dad and I don't think he ever accepted that I didn't reserve the same love for him that I felt for my dad. But here it is… One day he started with a dish towel. I don't even remember why. I must have dropped a glass or something. He was wiping the dishes and it went off. It cracked on my cheek. And then, he must have thought that the belt and the whip weren't so much more serious than the dish towel… So he continued. Ah… but it was always because he wanted 'the best for me',… and because he loved me, as he said… But when I started bleeding from his blows or getting a few noticeable bruises, he said it was my fault, that I shouldn't have left my things lying around, or had that average grade in school…"
Emma had instinctively stiffened at Regina's confession and she had tightened her embrace. She was boiling with rage. How can you do that to a child? She was so shocked that tears came to her, empathizing with Regina.
"But… what about your mother…? She didn't know?"
Regina let out a small mocking laugh, in which Emma recognized a hint of sadness.
"Of course she knew… Let's say she pretended she didn't see anything, and he made sure to do that when she wasn't around."
"But, did you tell her about it?"
"Yes. One day, I took advantage of an outing with her to tell she replied that she couldn't believe it, that her husband only wanted 'the best for me'. I immediately understood that she was not on my side. And then she made me understand that if anyone heard about it, I might regret it. So I shut up. Since that day, they have not stopped controlling my life, deciding for me, choosing my studies, my job, allowing me or not to see my friends… Until Daniel. Do you remember Daniel?"
"Of course. But what do you mean…?"
"I had just graduated from college. I had met him through mutual friends. It was the love at first sight for the both of us. I knew my mom and Gold wouldn't accept him so I didn't introduce him to them or even tell them about him. I believed that a new life would be possible. So we took some stuff and we both left. We got married in secret. For a few months, I thought we had succeeded…"
Regina's voice broke and Emma felt a tear fall on her arm that was hugging the brunette's waist with tenderness. She tacitly encouraged her, kissing her on her wet cheek. Regina continued with a sob.
"But they found us. I was pregnant. And… they took it from me. Gold told me a few months later that Daniel was not worthy of me and that he and my mother would always be there to make sure that I always had 'the best'… Even if it meant choosing my friends, my relationships… and making them disappear if I disobeyed them…"
"Oh, my sweet Regina… I don't understand how you bounced back after all of this… Since your earliest childhood, you have been abused by this bastard. I don't know what is holding me back from returning the favor…"
"No, Emma. You're not like him. You're much better. Don't stoop to this…"
"Regina, I'm outraged! A guy like this doesn't even deserve one happy day after everything he's done. He just deserves to rot in jail."
Regina opened her mouth to add something, then changed her mind. Much to Emma's surprise, she quickly stood up and held out her hand to her.
"Come on. I want to show you something."
Driving her big car, Regina stared at the road, looking determined. Emma no longer dared to do anything. Since the brunette had asked her to follow her to the car, she had not opened her mouth. She was not at all worried but hoped that the journey would soon be over. She took advantage of the moonlight to admire the profile of her partner, open and determined. Emma knew deep down that she was going to show her something important. After all these revelations, what would she find more? In order to make her feel her presence and her support, she gently placed her left hand on Regina's thigh. The driver enjoyed the contact, and without taking her eyes off the road, she put her own hand on it and squeezed Emma's tenderly.
A few minutes later, Regina braked gently. They had not left Storybrooke but they were in an off-centered spot, close to the city border. The car had stopped in front of a building with thick walls, topped with barbed wire. « Storybrooke Prison… », Emma thought. She had never been to this place before. But there was nothing welcoming about it, especially when lit by the pale moonlight. Regina silently turned to Emma and, after a long time, she managed to speak.
"Emma, here is my mother."
Emma did not immediately understand what Regina meant, but after a few moments everything cleared up. The horror of the situation blew up in her face. Regina's own mother had participated in the murder of her son-in-law!
"Do you mean that Daniel…?"
"Yes, Emma. My own mother killed my husband. I know they did this together, but my mother had been less lucky… No evidence was found against Gold, while everything blamed my mother. She let herself be locked up without ever confessing the complicity of her husband. It was a win-win this way…"
"What do you mean?"
"She wasn't risking a revenge from me, because, believe me, I was ready for revenge like never before. And for his part, he could easily inform my mother about all my actions."
"But why haven't you ever tried to run away? You could have left Storybrooke forever!"
"So that they find me like they did when I was with Daniel? No, Emma… After a few years, I gave up fighting and surrendered completely to their decisions. I chose to live only as they wish. The only thing they granted me was Henry's adoption. It was Gold himself who took care of finding and bringing him back. This child had been my lifeline. Without him, I would have drowned …"
"Regina, we can't let this happen!" Emma replied, revolted.
"Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about it. They have control over my life and they will always have it. That's why I pushed you away… I hurt everyone who gets close to me, you understand? If I accept that people become intimate with me, I put them in danger. I don't want them to hurt you, okay?"
Regina's voice broke into tears. Emma would have wanted so much to prove to her that nothing scared her, and certainly not an old antique dealer. But Regina's pain was so visible that she said nothing, and just hugged her. Her resolutions of the afternoon were gone. In front of the prison where her mother was rotting, Regina faced her fears she felt all her courage disappear. She would never have the strength to love ignoring such a threat.
So after a long time, she spoke with a heavy heart.
"I am not allowed to love, Emma. They would always find you crippling faults and something about you that would make them dislike you. As for Daniel, it was his social condition that was far from equaling ours. For you, it would be… I don't know, probably just the fact that you're a woman."
What was she saying? Emma started to panic. Regina could not end their relationship! Not now, not after everything they had confessed to each other…
"Regina, what are you trying to tell me?" she asked, worried.
"They told me hundreds of times." She said monotonously. "But today, I finally understand what they meant when they drummed into me: 'love is weakness, Regina'. They're right. When we love, we're vulnerable, that makes us fragile."
"No, love makes us better, love always prevails. Love makes us feel alive!"
"Precisely, I want you to stay that way! When you love, you engage your whole being, your heart, your mind, your body ... This is what I would have liked to offer you. But I can't. Every time that I loved, I was abandoned: Daniel, my baby, my friends… Even Henry, one day… I know he'll leave me…"
The visceral fear of her parents, the usual feeling of abandonment, unconditional love for Emma… everything was mixed up in Regina and she could not think correctly. All she knew at that moment was that she refused to endanger the life of the woman she loved. Even if she had to give up their happiness for it.
"Get that idea out of your mind. Nobody abandoned you. Bastards took them away from you. And I can assure you that they won't continue with me."
"I'm broken, Emma… I have accepted the fact that I have no right to happiness. And I don't want to suffer anymore, I don't want for those I love to be taken away from me. I'm so scared for you, Emma…"
"But I am not afraid of them!" Emma yelled. "I will always be there to protect you, and it's not a miserable old man who'll frighten me…"
"Emma… I'm not the one who has to be protected… It's you. You're the one they would want to make disappear… You better leave me now. There is still time…"
"Listen to me carefully, Regina." Emma said, forcing her to look her in the eye. "Nobody is going to abandon you, okay! And certainly not me. You need me like I need you!"
Emma had almost screamed that last sentence, still looking her straight in the eye. She was really starting to believe in their story, but she could not get over the fact that she could be threatened by a wretched couple of assassins… In front of Regina's eyes full of pain, Emma blamed herself for raising her voice and she resumed softly.
"Ever since I arrived in Storybrooke, I have known that I found my family there. Not an alternative family, not a surrogate family, no. The true family chosen by the heart."
"Emma, I love you. I love you as I have rarely loved and I know they'll forbid me. They made me understand that I am not worthy of being loved."
"Regina, you can't say that. No one has the right to tell you that! You deserve to be loved! You're a wonderful person! Maybe a little abrupt at first, but once your walls come down, you are the most charming, nicest, beautiful woman that I have met in a long time…"
Regina smiled tenderly at her, enjoying the compliments.
"You know, Emma, if I was aggressive, it wasn't because I was pushing you away, it was because I was forcing myself not to get attached to you. Cause as soon as I saw you I knew I was screwed…"
"Regina, let me love you…" Emma implored.
"I'm so scared for you…"
"It's okay to be scared…" She replied, putting in the sound of her voice all the conviction she could demonstrate. "Being scared proves that you're alive."
"That is exactly the problem… It had been a long time since I had felt so alive. I probably forgot what it feels like. I know that I feel safe with you. I know you'll protect me. But I'm also aware of my mother's power. And with Gold free and in her pocket, I'll never be serene about your safety. I don't want to risk your life. Mine doesn't matter. But I don't want to endanger you. You… and the boys.
"Listen to me, Regina. I'll wait for you as long as it takes. I love you and I'll prove to you that no one will be able to scare me if I'm with you. I'd rather live with you a few days than survive years away from you. Is that clear? I will help you, I will protect you, I will love you. I will save you from your demons."
"Oh Emma…"
It was too much for Regina who burst into tears as she took refuge in Emma's neck. Although the gearshift and the handbrake were in their way, the two lovers hugged each other as best they could.
"No, Emma. I have to fight my demons on my own… One day I will defeat them, I promise you."
"I will wait for you…"
This statement did not please Emma, but she had to admit that indeed, it was only up to Regina to fight her fears.