Chap 18 Yoshiko

Back to the space station

End of July 2299

As the end of July on the station approached, Yoshiko came to see Kohaku for the person he was, not just a pair of ears. And as that realization came on her she also realized that "the first brat" was also a being of his own and had nothing to do with the problem at the heart of it—her sense of betrayal from the man who she loved.

Yoshiko realized this was a bigger step than she had had in years and decided it was time to discuss the matter with a professional. GASA (Global Aeronautics and Space Administration) put their contacted psychiatrist on the line. He had been selected as the best psychiatrist by providers and patients alike. GASA always selected the best.

"I apologize Yoshiko, but the video is down here at my office. I can hear you but not see you. Do you still want to talk?"

"Yes, Doctor. I do. I have made a great break through and I wish to continue this self-revelation."

"Very well. Please share as you are able."

So for the next hour Yoshiko spoke of how she had projected her anger on others when it was a betrayal of love that was the actual crux of the matter as well as the postpartum depression she suffered.

As the doctor listened he knew there was more to the story but he also knew not to push the patient too hard, after all this was their self-journey. He was just a guide along the way. It was just a little thing he had heard his dad say often and he agreed with it.

When the hour was near the end and Yoshiko had shared what she wanted for the time, the doctor invited her back after she finished some homework. This week's homework assignment: List her strengths.

Over the following months Yoshiko shared with the doctor and at the end of each of her session got other assignments.

One homework assignment was to allow herself time to grieve. She was to give herself 10 to 15 minutes each day to acknowledge and feel her sadness. By giving it some dedicated attention, she may find it popping up less and less throughout her day.

Rather than make her space bubble her mourning corner Yoshiko dedicated a corner of the lab as her place to grieve. After completing her research she would retreat to that corner and rest for ten minutes. Initially Tsume questioned if there was more work to do but when Yoshiko dismissed him, he would search out Kohaku to complete some other task or play a video game.

The next homework assignment was to take time out for herself; meditate, exercise, deep breathing exercises

This assignment was one of the easiest for Yoshiko to complete. The GASA mandated daily exercise to keep the bones strong. Dedicating the exercise to her other parts of her health and well-being was easy. During her meditation she wondered about Sesshomaru and wondered if he would allow her to visit when she returned the planet. But she wasn't sure what they would talk about.

For the next homework assignment, the doctor told her to tell others what she need. Use a message if she cannot speak in person.

Yoshiko had previously used curt messages to tell Kohaku to do her research or other menial chores. She knew that wasn't the purpose of this assignment. It took several days but then it occurred to her that the young man had invited her to join them at lunch daily at the beginning of their 180 day assignment to the space station. Perhaps she could ask Tsume and him politely to join her for lunch.

Their first lunch was reserved but Yoshiko thanked them politely for joining her and asked in person if they would join her the following day. Kohaku smiled. "Absolutely!" It wasn't much longer when lunch became a happy light hearted time for the space team to be together. Yoshiko marveled at the camaraderie between the two men and laughed politely when they resorted to calling each other "mutt-face" and "wolf-boy"

When she reported her experiences to the doctor he seemed pleased. "Yoshiko, this week's homework assignment should correspond with your space station task; take a walk in space, enjoy the sights and journal about it.

Yoshiko particularly enjoyed the spacewalks. As she stepped out of the airlock into the black of space she never ceased marveling at the limitlessness of it. Gravity didn't exist in space. There was no up or down. She stared at the blue marble and then turned to see the sun and moon and then flipped to see the stars.

From her view she could see the global warming damage to the planet. 'Here's hoping our research can help this problem.'

She got her work done efficiently so she could sit on top of the space station and enjoy the view. The new stretchable pressure suits were skin tight. It was like wearing a second skin. The gloves were no longer bulky and the troubles with hot or cold spots were eliminated. She had read many of the previous astronauts' reports about the old equipment. 'Must have been miserable for them. OTT sure had some smart scientists to figure out how to fix that.'

She happily shared her spacewalk with the doctor. He could see the joy beginning to bubble up. 'Soon,' he thought. 'This is the part of my job I love.' "Yoshiko, this time for your homework assignment, you need to schedule in moments that bring you joy. It is vital for healing a broken heart."

Some of the assignments were harder than others but gradually Yoshiko realized these moments didn't have to be big or complex. Watching the earth from her space bubble, or talking to Kohaku and Tsume; these things were joy filled. Yoshiko particularly enjoyed watching Kohaku talk to some girl. She never heard the name but she recognized the giggles and blushes of young love. And she knew she was healing because it was no longer painful to her but rather joyous.

When she passed on the revelation the Doctor nodded.

"Yoshiko, keep doing the other assignments. You don't need me any longer. You have come to the point in this healing where you have two options: you can close off pieces of your heart so that one day no one will be able to get inside. Or you can love again-Deeply, just as intensely as you did before. This is your last homework assignment: If you could see your ex again, what would you say?"

Yoshiko thought about and smiled. "I know already. Hello my name is Yoshiko Takahaski. Would you care to join me for some tea?"

"Very good. Turning heartbreak to joy. I salute you. Safe travels."

And with that the doctor hung up the phone connection.

Yoshiko dashed off to find her colleagues. Perhaps they could teach her about video gaming. It looked like it was fun.

Date: 105 days into their 180 day assignment. (3 1/2mon)