Author's Notes: TW's for brief firearm mentions.
Ch21 Originally Posted on SO3 08/31/2020
They have twenty five dimensions left when Perry notices the flicker that eats at the edges of the portals.
Heinz seems to notice at the same time too, because he asks Perry to take a break so he can repair the dimensional portal gun.
This dimension seems pretty safe, if a bit dark, so Perry stops and sets Heinz down.
He looks around, taking stock of their situation. It's still dark, so Perry pulls a flashlight out of his hat and turns it on. They're on a roof somewhere, in the early hours right before dawn. Perry steps away from the edge of the roof, not wanting to take a tumble off into the barely-lit parking lot below.
Man, who knew all this dimension-travelling stuff screwed with timelines, too? The teacher had mentioned that it was September in his dimension. It's mid-July back home. It feels like this whole adventure started in May .
"Hey Perry, can you come bring the flashlight over here?" Heinz asks.
Perry nods, then realizes that Heinz probably can't see him. It is rather dark up here, only illuminated by the residual light from the lights in the parking lot seven or eight stories before. He steps over to where Heinz is.
Huh. He had no idea that the insides of Heinz's arms could glow. It's not a strong glow by any means, but it's at least a few lumens.
"I think this is a power issue," Heinz says, "so if I wire the portal-inator through my arms, we'll be able to use that power. We've only got twenty five dimensions left, it should be okay."
Sounds good, Perry signs. Do you need me to hold the flashlight?
"Nah, but if you could leave it on the ground like...that, yeah, that would be great."
In the distance, Perry hears the slight crunch of a car pulling into a parking lot below, and he decides to go check it out. He peers over the edge of the roof to see a sleek, low black car pull into the parking lot. It parks in the far corner of the lot, where Perry can barely see it.
Someone gets out of the car and puts a fedora on their head.
Perry gulps. Is this…
He pulls a second flashlight out of his hat (it always pays to be prepared) and walks around the edge of the roof.
It's got to be. This is the Tri-State Area OWCA headquarters of this dimension.
As long as they stay away from the edge of the roof, they should be fine. Perry walks back over to Heinz and relays this information to him.
"I'm about halfway through connecting this. Do you think we'll get discovered?"
Perry shakes his head. Nobody ever comes up to the roof. As long as we stay away from the edge of the roof, and keep our heads down, we should be okay.
"Okay, sounds good. Where are we, anyway?"
Perry grimaces. OWCA headquarters, Tri-State Area.
Heinz whips his head up. "You're kidding."
Perry shakes his head. Nope, not kidding. But there aren't any cameras on the roof in our dimension, so we should be safe here as well. And I'll keep watch.
"Yeah, do that. I'll try to connect things as quickly as I can."
Don't go so fast you make mistakes. I don't want us to get stranded.
Heinz nods and looks back down at his arm and continues to mess with the wires.
The sounds of a motorcycle driving into the lot snaps Perry to attention. He kneels down and peers over the edge of the roof.
Illuminated by the yellowed lights of the parking lot is his motorcycle.
Oh no. He's never at OWCA this early. Heck, he's almost never even awake this early. For him to be here at OWCA at what must be three, four AM, something strange must be going on.
A dozen equally-unlikely possibilities run through his mind as he watches the other him park and take off his helmet. The other him then puts on his fedora and starts towards the entrance to headquarters.
Perry leans a little farther over to see who the person in the sports car was.
Hold on a moment. Is that Peter the Panda?
He's meeting Peter the Panda at OWCA headquarters at way-too-early o'clock in the morning. There's no way this can be any good.
But nothing happens. Nothing at all. Peter leans up against one of the poles supporting the awning over the doors, the other Perry leans against the other.
They don't fight, they only glare at each other. At least that's something.
Another car pulls into the parking lot. Pinky's, if Perry remembers correctly.
An agent gets out of the car, as well as a passenger. Once the duo gets closer, Perry can tell that it's Pinky (so he was right) and...Carl?
He can understand Carl being here this early. He's the intern, he tends to be the first one here in the morning (although usually not this early) and the last to leave at night, with a break in the middle of the day to go to class.
But Pinky? That kid abhors getting up early.
Another car pulls into the lot, and a junior agent Perry doesn't recognize steps out. All five of them gather together by the doors. Someone speaks, although Perry can't make out what any of them say. He watches as the other him signs something, then all of the gathered agents hand Carl something.
Are they paying him? What are they doing?
Carl turns and unlocks the door, and all the agents disappear inside.
Well, it's not his place to worry about it. Whatever is going on, it won't affect them.
ETA ? He asks Heinz.
Heinz shrugs. "Fifteen minutes, give or take. Why, are we in danger?"
Perry shakes his head. What are the chances that everybody gathered down below will come up to the roof?
No, but we should move so we're hidden a bit better. Can you still work if we move behind that big boxy thing over there?
Heinz nods. "Can you help carry this stuff? I really only brought what I could fit in my lab coat pockets, but…"
Perry nods, picking up the tools and they move behind the boxy thing. He's pretty sure it's some sort of HVAC thing, but he doesn't know much about that sort of thing. It's never really been important for him to know, and it isn't important now.
Heinz ducks down just in time, since the door to the stairs squeaks open and several sets of footsteps step onto the gravel of the roof.
Perry peers around the edge of the boxy thing, watching as Carl pulls a black case out of his backpack. He says something that Perry can't quite make out, then opens the case. The other agent, the one Perry doesn't recognize, says something and Pinky nods.
He has his suspicions about what's in the case, but his eyes still go wide when Pinky pulls a pistol out of the case. The other agent takes another out, then Carl shuts the case and puts it back in his backpack.
Perry watches as both junior agents take the pistols to opposite sides of the roof.
This isn't just some ordinary mission. This is an agent's duel.
And Perry doesn't want to be around when the guns go off. Duels are done to the death in OWCA, although they've been forbidden since 1981, when a pair of agents found that they hadn't been specifically outlawed. After that incident, they'd been forbidden.
Apparently not in this dimension, though. He taps Heinz on the shoulder to get his attention.
There's a duel about to happen up here. People all over the roof. How quickly can you get us out of here?
Heinz shrugs. Five minutes max, he signs. Probably only two.
Perry looks back at the others preparing to duel. If he remembers correctly, the fact that Pinky and the unknown other agent have met in the center means that they're about to start. Do they have five minutes?
Hopefully.
Perry watches, heart sinking, as Pinky and the other agent return to the other Perry and Peter respectively. Did they negotiate a way out of the duel?
The junior agents step off to the side. Peter and the other Perry step towards each other. Carl pulls a red case out of his backpack, then turns around.
Perry gulps. They're actually going to go through with this. That was the intern turning around for deniability.
Heinz taps his shoulder, and Perry turns around. I'm done, he signs.
Thank god. Let's get out of here, Perry signs. Heinz fires the portal gun with a barely-audible zap, then scoots through. Perry follows right behind him, and just in time, since the two junior agents start to count just as the portal closes.
This dimension seems safer, at least. They're in the middle of an empty yet still illuminated shopping mall.
Heinz sighs in relief. "Only twenty four dimensions left."
Perry nods. At least there's that. Then let's keep going. He holds his arms out, and Heinz climbs onto his back.
He walks the required fifteen feet, almost slipping on the mall's freshly-waxed floors, and Heinz fires off the next portal with a hiss of pain.
Perry churrs, concerned.
"It's fine," Heinz says. "Just didn't expect it. I'll be alright. Let's just try to hurry home."
Perry sets off at a faster pace than before. If they need to hurry, he can do that. It's not like they have far to go.
Fourteen dimensions later, in a dimension where they must be in some sort of park, Perry's watch pings to alert him. Only ten dimensions until they get home.
Unfortunately, Heinz has been in clear pain since the fifteenth dimension. It's all Perry can do to keep him on his back.
Perry pauses. It might be a better idea to carry Heinz in his arms, rather than on his back.
He sets Heinz down on one of the benches that are nearby and relays this idea to him.
"Yeah, that might work better," he says through gritted teeth. "Just ten dimensions, right?"
Perry nods and shows him the watch. Do you need a break? He asks, although it really isn't a question.
Heinz shakes his head. "The longer this stays connected to my arms, the more power it takes, the more pain it causes. And I can't disconnect it without irrevocably damaging it either."
Can you at least turn off the pain sensitivity in your arms?
"They're as low as they can get."
Then we have to get home as fast as possible. Here, let me pick you up. Perry scoops one arm under Heinz's knees, the other around his back, and picks him up.
Heinz opens the next dimension with a wince, and Perry steps through.
This dimension, the ninth-to-last one, seems to be nothing but farmland.
In the eighth dimension, Perry barely manages to avoid falling into a fountain for the second time that day.
They run through the Monogram Flying Circus in the seventh dimension, featuring the father-son act of Francis and Montgomery Monogram. Perry really has no idea what to think of that, other than he really doesn't want to see the Major Monogram from their dimension do acrobatics.
Heinz notes that the college lecture they run through in the sixth dimension is about dimensional science, and comments that he just made that professor's year.
The fifth dimension is a car wash. Perry figured it had to happen sooner or later.
Thankfully, the fourth dimension is blazing hot, and their clothes dry almost instantly.
In the third-to-last dimension, Perry nearly knocks over an entire grocery store's display of canned tomatoes.
The second-to-last dimension is a field of bright, chipper tulips that Perry does his absolute best to not trample.
And the last dimension before they get home is the exact opposite of the previous dimension. It's a wasteland, with nothing but gray sand and the occasional rock as far as the eye can see.
Heinz opens the final portal. It's lime green, and it's flickering pretty badly. Even worse than the last ones. At times, the portal flickers out almost completely before it returns.
Then it flickers again, and it's gone.
Heinz's eyes go wide. "Oh no."
That can't be good. Perry sets Heinz down to sign. What's wrong? He asks.
"Due to all the travel that's taking place between dimensions, some of the dimensions are ripping away from the continuum early. And ours is one of those dimensions."
Well, we're just a dimension away, we can get home no problem. Right?
"That's the thing. Only one of us can get home."
Perry narrows his eyes. You're joking, right? This is just a...plot device, or something?
Heinz shakes his head. "I'm not joking. The connection is only strong enough to take one life-form back before the dimensions rip apart, possibly forever."
And you can't… lasso them back together, or something?
"I can't. There's just no way we can both get back."
Perry ponders this for a moment. If only one of them can get back, then which one of them is it going to be?
He doesn't want to think about that. Heinz can work miracles, surely he can get them back home.
Are you sure? I've seen you do amazing things before. I know you can get us both home.
"I really can't. I don't have the materials, the tools, or anything. And there's no way you have any of that in your hat. Even then, there's almost no way that it would work."
But you can try, right?
"It's impossible, okay? That means I can't do it. It means there isn't really isn't a point in trying because there's no way we can both get home."
Are you one hundred percent sure? Perry asks.
"YES!" Heinz snaps, then he shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. But it's true. We can only get one person home, and it's going to be you."
Perry's eyes go wide. Him? After all of this, he's going to be the one going home. He shakes his head, bringing his hands up to sign that there's got to be some way to get both of them home. But Heinz cuts him off.
"We're out of time," he says. "My arms are going to run out of the amount of power that we need in three minutes, tops. We have to do this, there's no other way."
Then why not you? Perry asks. Why can't you go home?
"Because you have people that care about you, Perry. You have a brother and a sister that care about you. You have your niece and nephews, you have a love interest. You have a life. Who am I to take that away from you?"
And you don't have people who care about you?
"They wouldn't miss me for long. I hate to do this to my little girl, but you've got more people that care about you."
Perry has no idea how to respond to that. Being trapped in another dimension with your nemesis, with only one of you able to get home, is not something that's covered in training.
If he was trapped with any other evil scientist, Perry would jump at the chance to go home. Now, though, nothing is as clear as that.
Heinz sighs. "Just face it, you have to be the one to go home."
We can't both just stay here forever?
"We'll die in a week, tops. Please let me do this, Perry. You deserve a chance at life, more so than me."
Oh, that's it. Heinz doesn't think he deserves to go home. Then I'll fight you. Loser goes home.
Heinz shakes his head. "I don't want to do that. I really wish we could both go home. But we can't. Even if we both jumped through at the exact same time, we'd both burn to a crisp. You have to go home."
Perry sighs. Heinz, despite the fact that I have a family, if I don't return they won't remember me. OWCA will make sure of that. My sister is an agent, but they'll wipe her memory too. It'll be like I never existed. People will remember if you don't go home. And you can make a difference in the world. You can invent so many things. I'm just a glorified cop. There's always new agents who will be just like me. There will never be anybody else like you. It has to be you that goes home. It just has to be.
"Fine," Heinz says, defeated. "I'll send myself home." He looks down. "Just let me do one thing first."
Okay, Perry signs. Just one thing.
Heinz grabs onto the front of Perry's shirt with his right hand, the hand that isn't connected directly to the portal gun.
Perry barely has a second to react or fight back before Heinz's lips are on his, pressing them together in a kiss that's just barely on the edge of bruising.
Perry's eyes go wide. This is Heinz, who he thought didn't like him (why else would he refuse to acknowledge Perry's confession?). Kissing him. As the last thing he does before he goes home.
He can hear his own heart as it beats in overdrive, almost drowning out the sound of a soft zap in the background. His shoes scrape against the ground as Heinz pushes him backwards.
Heinz breaks the kiss. Before Perry can sign anything like hold on or why didn't you say anything, Heinz speaks.
"I'm sorry," he says, "but you know what they say. If you love someone, let them go. Live your life, Perry. I love you."
He's barely able to process what's just happened when Heinz shoves him, and he falls through a portal onto the ground.
The last thing he sees before the portal winks into nothingness is Heinz standing in the other dimension, an apologetic smile on his face.
A brief look around reveals that he's in Heinz's lab. Is he really back home? A glance at the counter on his watch confirms that. He's home.
And Heinz isn't.
Perry shakes off his mixed emotions. He'll deal with all that craziness later. For now, he looks around the lab, trying to find anything that can get Heinz back, because of course he's not going to give up just yet.
His eyes fall on the -inator that got them into this mess.
Hmm. If Heinz was able to pull the other Perrys directly out of their dimensions, then can't he use this -inator to pull Heinz out of that dimension, despite the distance? Shouldn't that work?
It should. At least, Perry doesn't know why it wouldn't. He grins and walks over towards the -inator.
On the way over, he passes by a table with a bright red box on it. Perry picks it up and looks at it, because bright red boxes never hold anything good.
Agent-Proximity Self-Destruct Button. Activates the third time a secret agent gets close to your invention, because the third time's the charm!
The box is empty. Does that mean Heinz used it on the- yep, the image on the box looks exactly like the self-destruct button that's only a few inches from his hand.
Let's see, he's been next to the -inator how many times? If he counts right now, he's been next to this -inator...three times.
Oh no.
Perry's barely able to turn away before the -inator explodes with an earth shattering boom.
As soon as his ears stop ringing, he looks up.
Well, the -inator's toast. There goes that plan.
A scrap of blue paper flutters on a nearby lab table. Doesn't Heinz have blueprints of everything he builds? And Perry knows quite a few parts suppliers thanks to him helping his nephews build every day... He can do this.
Starting with finding the blueprints, and maybe a few books on dimensional science. Heinz tends to make his blueprints a little vague, having connected the dots in his mind instead of on paper.
He'll have to build quickly. If he's going to get Heinz back, he doesn't have much time.