A.N.: Hi, guys! I hope I'm finding you as well as you can be considering, well, all of *this shit* happening right now everywhere, or I hope you feel better by the end of this chapter. I tried to make it balanced (as all things should be), given the nature of the characters and my own, well, views of how things should be in fiction, I really cannot say too much without giving away what is essentially the culmination. Big thank you to pirahna pk and Unknown user for commenting on the latest chapter 3 Also I cannot be more annoyed at the news of Bleach getting renewed I DON'T WANT TO WATCH MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER DIE ALL OVER AGAIN, canon is what I make it and I make it so she...
Chapter XVII: I Want People to Tell Their Children Terrifying Stories about the Things We Did For Love
Kenpachi cursed loudly as he arrived at his desk and saw a pile of papers awaiting him. All those damn papers he did not care about. He should burn them all and unleash his rage on all of the Gotei 13. They did more writing than fighting. Instead, he sat down and started tending to the documents. Retsu was rubbing off on him, it seemed like.
The day proved to be one of the busiest. A constant flow of butterflies and messengers requesting such-and-such papers to be sent to Iba or Rukia or to the Commander directly. After Hanatarou came asking for some god-forsaken reports he had to bring to Isane as he was trying to read Kurotsuchi's weird handwriting, the captain told him to fuck off.
The third seat gulped and apologized, which prompted Kenpachi to look up from the document and grunted in annoyance.
"I'll bring them myself." He was so desperate for even a minute away from this torture. "Now get out!"
Hanatarou apologized again and scrambled through the door, leaving him once again alone. Distracted from his work, his thought went to Retsu. How was she? Was she resting? He hoped so. A sigh tore from his chest. The captain looked down to the papers and went through them, leaving aside the ones Isane needed so he could do them first and get out of his office as soon as possible.
Outside it was a hot summer day, the sun shining mercilessly in its zenith. He arrived at the barracks of the Fourth squad drenched in sweat. He found respite in the shade of the building, his steps heavy on the wooden pathway to Isane's office. The captain saw a door slide open and Isane came out to greet him.
"How is the day treating you, Captain Zaraki," she asked politely as they entered the cool space of her office. The medic had come to consider him more of a friend than simply a colleague. She trusted him to care for her most precious person after all.
"Terrible," Kenpachi said and grimaced as he handed her the documents she had requested. Isane laughed quietly and put the papers on her desk.
"It's a busy day, truly. Would you like a glass of water?"
He nodded in response.
"How is ca—," she cleared her throat, "Unohana-sama?"
The man knew she would ask that. In fact, that may have been what brought him here, not the damn papers.
"She is remembering me."
The medic sharply turned around, handing him the glass of cold water before walking a few steps to sit down in her chair. She needed to sit down. This was great news! If the process of resurfacing these traumatic memories was handled well Unohana could make a full recovery! Except, her eyes returned to the man standing in her office. He looked stiff and frozen even after walking in the noon heat, the sweating glass of water in his hand ready to slip away from his grip.
"I don't know what to do. Or how to respond to this. She's plagued by nightmares, no, memories, plagued by me, I—, she—" he took a couple of deep breath as Isane watched him unravel, "You should've seen her this morning. She looked so fragile and yet she persuaded me to come to work instead of stay at home to keep her company. She is so gentle and kind. She keeps reassuring me she's fine and that I bring her comfort but do I?" He stopped unable to voice his thoughts. Do my kisses and my embraces bring her comfort? The kisses and embraces of a murderer, her murderer? "I thought I was ready to handle this but I am not. I've never been."
"Neither am I, captain Zaraki. We had no way of knowing how all of this would progress." Isane got up again, the floor now steady beneath her feet, and got closer to him. "You do bring her comfort. I've seen it and I believe it, even if I didn't want to in the beginning."
Kenpachi nodded and drank from the glass in his hand. She continued.
"But you must handle this with care. Her mind is both stronger and frailer than we think and we shouldn't take chances. Don't agitate her needlessly or too much. I know how stubborn both of you can be. If I am afraid of something, it's not your capability to take care of Unohana-sama but what could happen if something triggers a too sudden influx of such traumatic memories. You must make sure that the process is slow and smooth. I am always here to help you both but especially you. You look like you have the world's weight on your shoulders." If the world could be as heavy as love.
"I'll make sure to come visit you tomorrow at your home. Is the evening okay," the medic asked. Maybe that would make him feel calmer.
"Sure. Thank you, Isane." He drank the rest of the water and set the glass on the table nearby. "I guess I should be heading back. How is it so calm around here? Yumichika would've barged in my office a thousand times already."
"All the paperwork, right? I finished almost all of it yesterday," the medic replied and laughed softly. The captain of the 11th laughed back as he cursed his habit of procrastinating the reports until the last possible minute.
It was later than usual when he got home. Kenpachi was mad that work made him break his promise to Retsu to come back earlier but his conversation with Isane had at least somewhat eased his burden. Perhaps there was a way to make all of this hurt her a little less. Perhaps there was no use of worrying this much. He entered and the house greeted him with silence. Maybe she's sleeping. The captain wished it were so, knowing the demons that tortured her, accepting that he was one of them. Maybe it was better that he was late. As quietly as possible, he opened the door to her room only to find it empty. The weight in his chest grew heavier.
The man heard the rustling of fabric coming from his room and he almost sighed in relief. What was he worried about? It was beyond him and his control. He closed the door before turning around to cross the hall and enter his bedroom. Retsu was sitting on his futon, looking up to where he was, her eyes sad and filled with unease.
As if something snapped in her and she was quick to rise to her feet before he could utter a single word. It was then when Kenpachi saw the dagger in her hand. She outstretched her arm, pointing the blade to him, threatening him to stay away.
"Tell me who you are," she demanded.
He was about to grasp the blade with his bare hands and pry it out of her grip but she turned the dagger upon herself and put the tip to her pale neck, pressing down at the bulging veins.
"I may be no match for you but I am my own match! Tell me!"
Kenpachi knew who he wanted to be. Her confidant; her one true love. He wanted all he could not have but most of all he wanted to be worthy of her. He knew he could be. But who was he now? A question he had asked himself for a lifetime. He was the Kenpachi. The man who cannot fall. Except at some time he had fallen for her. Perhaps even before they became so close. Long before he found her, long before he killed her.
That was the answer she was seeking. Retsu had the talent of perceiving things no one else saw, and people saw he loved her. But she did not know he had murdered her.
Kenpachi's body felt dead and cold and every breath caused him pain. His eyes were focused on the blade that prodded her throat, threatening to break the skin and spill her blood. He could refuse to say it and he would see her death for a second time. Or he could utter those words and go against every advice Isane had offered. He was afraid to think what would follow. Madness? All of this had been a madness since the beginning. His gaze moved to her face. She was distraught, her eyes bloodshot and ablaze. The words were a falling sword.
"The one you once loved. Your murderer."
Retsu took a step back with eyes full of disbelief and terror and dropped the dagger, her hands clasping over her scar. Kenpachi made a step towards her, his foot landing on the blade, kicking it back, out of the room. Dreadful silence filled the room until Retsu screamed – loud, sharp and inhuman – and fell down to her elbows and knees. Violent sobs took over her body and the air whistled in her lungs. The captain reached out, trying to help her in some way, any way. He was scared for her. What had his words caused her? She turned her head to look at him with mad eyes full of pain and rage and leapt to her feet, rushing to him. Her palms hit his chest and she truculently pushed him, sending him a step back.
"Why did you not let me rest? Why did you have to call me back to life?"
His eyes widened in shock but a rare genuine gentle smile grazed his face until she slapped him hard enough to break his lip. A trail of blood ran down his chin.
"It seems I have succeeded in my task to make you truly hate me! Killing me was not enough; you had to make me live and suffer! Look at me – there is not a drop of power left in me!"
Her words and the fact that she was back, truly back, had rendered him speechless.
"Your actions speak instead of you. You are afraid! Afraid to hit me back as if I am going to break. You think I'm weak!" If mere seconds ago he was ready to weep with happiness, now anger rose in him and made his blood boil. Kenpachi had been expecting her hatred but now he could not bear that what inspired it was the fact she was alive and not dead. It should have been him who she hated, not life itself. His hand found her throat and she stretched out her neck, exposing it further.
"You are pathetic. I shackled you. All the pain you've been through had been because of me! Do it." She said through her gritted teeth. Instead he spoke.
"You made me pay a price I was not willing to pay!"
"So that's what I am – a price! A way to atone the sins that lie heavy on your chest! I never thought you were so selfish! I died for you but you want me to live for you like this! Worthless and weak! Rest assured: you have no sins for me to forgive and you owe me nothing."
"Why are you so cruel to yourself! You are my equal and you will always be. You are the same as me but so much more. I don't want to redeem myself through you. I don't want you to live for me but I won't deny I'm selfish; I want to be by your side. You've always driven me through life – whether it's my hatred or—", he swallowed, "or my love for you."
"Love!" she sneered at him. "Do not speak to me of love! Forget everything I've said! Monsters like us know nothing of love. There can be only hate between us! Hate me!"
Centuries worth of words found their way to his throat and choked him but he spoke. He could not stay silent any longer. He had held back long enough.
"I've gorged on hate. I supped on it every day; it kept me warm every night. It made fire surge through my veins, as you stood there ice-cold and poised on all those captain meetings. You never looked at me, not even once, as if you never knew me. You made me believe that you hate me! You double-faced heartless bitch!"
Kenpachi's hand tightened around her throat and made her breath hitch through her spiteful smile. It would certainly bruise if she were to see another day. Leaning closer to her face, he continued, stressing every word.
"I loathed you with a hatred belonging more to demon than to man! I worshipped you! You were my prey; I watched you as if I could tear you limb from limb with eyes only. In my dreams, I gave you a billion deaths! I prayed that no harm came your way because I was supposed to be the one who kills you! I! You were mine to kill! Mine! And I did. I hated you and it shouldn't have mattered if I had killed you. Nevertheless, your death turned everything to ashes in my mouth! As if my heart had burned away!"
His green eyes were glassy and he was shaking with emotion, his grip now loose on her throat. Retsu did not want to look at him but she could not tear her eyes off his face. She did not want to listen to him. Every painful word pierced right through her. She wished he had strangled her. The man's breath was hot on her face as his voice lowered to a broken whisper.
"You've haunted me ever since I met you. I thought of you as the ill think of death. You're so cruel. You made me hate you and then you died for me. I never knew what emptiness awaited me. When I first caught a glimpse of you in the woods, I thought I had finally gone insane, that you were just a figment of my sick mind and yet I welcomed that madness. I realized you were real as my hand caught yours I thanked you for having finally answered my entreaty. Forgive me that I'm not enough; that I'm selfish and greedy. I want everything. I want you. Give me a chance. Guide me. I want to deserve you. I beg you, Retsu. I'm restless. Please, I beg you." He did not know what he was pleading for. "I love you. Marry me. I love you."
Not a sob escaped her mouth and yet tears were streaming down her face. She had seen him suffer thousands of times; she herself had hurt him so much and she was no stranger to pain either. Yet nothing could compare to the excruciating pain she felt right now. There, in that final fight, she had poured out her love, sanguinary, in every swing of the sword and every act of healing, in harmony with melancholy, just as the swan sang once, in dying, its own funeral song. I died so you could be whole. So you could surpass me. I knew you would grieve, the child you are, but you should have forgotten me.
Retsu knew she had misjudged him then. He was no longer a child. His grief was too deep and too destructive to ever heal. He spoke of his own selfishness but she found none now. Was it really selfish to wish life upon another? Her words from minutes ago rang hollow.
"I told you I was going to hurt you."
Kenpachi forsook all words, bent down and pressed his bloody mouth to her soft lips in a desperate kiss, becoming one with her at last. They were both trembling, their heartbeats ringing in their ears as her legs gave out and she brought them down to the floor. Her hands went to his face and Retsu parted her lips, expecting him to deepen the kiss, but he did not answer to her invitation. Her tongue went over his lips and he suddenly plunged into her mouth. She allowed him to devour her and the taste of his blood invaded her mouth. What was love but stepping right into the sharp teeth of your starving beloved?
Her lips were warm and soft and sweet albeit they tasted like his blood. Even with the floor against her back, Kenpachi did not cease holding her. It seemed to him that if he did, the ground would crack open, having changed its mind, and take her away from him. He clung to her, desperate for her intimacy, shielding her with his large body from the universe. Kenpachi felt her sob into the kiss. He pulled away and stared at her unsure what happened, what to do as she caressed his cheek.
Blood was dripping on her face but she did not flinch. The woman beneath him smiled gently through her tears and brought her face up to kiss him again. He clumsily answered to the kiss and their teeth met, his nose bumping into hers. Retsu smiled again at his clumsiness. Her hands cupped his face as she showed him that it could be slower, less desperate – bringing his head at a right angle, her tongue went between his lips. He seemed somehow surprised by her actions as if he had not realised he had done the same just moments ago. Her fingers tenderly grazed his high cheekbone and the scar she had inflicted upon him before Kenpachi pulled out from the kiss.
"I love you and may be mad, I'm mad. But I am who I am because of you. You are at the beginning of every reason, every hope, and every yearning I've ever had. Be with me always. I beg you, don't leave me."
"I won't," she repeated over and over again in-between the small kisses she placed upon his face and the choking sobs that escaped her chest. He asked so much of her and so little at the same time. Retsu had surrendered a long time ago, she realised. She could not stop crying, hundreds of years' worth of tears finally finding their way to her eyes. It had been so long since she had last wept; she herself could not remember it. Had she ever cried at all? It had often made her wonder if her heart had turned to stone and crumbled to dust inside her chest.
Kenpachi's own heart was breaking from the sight. His palm caressed her face as he kissed her cheeks until she stopped crying, feeling her tears sting his broken lip. He, then, reluctantly pulled away, longing to see her eyes no longer drowned in sadness and pain. And he saw a smile blossom on her lips: still sad and broken but gentle and beautiful.
A drop fell on her cheek and her eyes flooded once more despite her smile.
"Don't cry, please," he begged her.
"You're crying too." The female's gentle hand went to his face and dried the trace a sole tear had left beneath his right eye. His hand overlapped hers and he entwined their fingers. She was right. His lashes were still wet.
To be this close to her, unrestrained, vulnerable, complete; it moved him beyond comprehension. Kenpachi kissed her again, thinking he was going to fall apart once more, unable to contain the enormousness of everything he felt.
They stayed like this – kissing gently, then fiercely, then gently again, enraptured with each other. His mouth slowly left her face, reaching the soft part of her ear and his teeth caught it. The sigh that escaped her chest left him burning. Retsu shuffled in delight and her thigh brushed against his crotch and half-hard member. The captain cursed himself – if he had been a better man, he would have suppressed the desires of his flesh. She turned her head to him, finding his lips again, her leg repeating the motion from before. He could feel his blood rush south, a low buzz in his ears, his breath running out much faster. Kenpachi pulled away from the kiss and spoke.
"Tell me what am I to do? Will you have me? Stop me now, so I can hold myself back." he whispered, his voice cracking, too weak and strained to speak properly. He hoped he could obey whatever she told him.
"Don't hold back anymore."
Retsu slid her palms underneath his kosode, over his chest, feeling his rapidly beating heart. Her touch burned through his skin and muscles, ringing in his bones, fully setting him on fire. The man returned to her lips, before moving lower, exploring the bruising skin of her throat with his mouth, kissing the sinews in her neck as she whimpered half in pain, half in pleasure. Her hands flimsily grabbed the hem of his kosode and yanked the garment down, off his shoulders. He rose back on his knees to shake the piece of clothing off his arms and tossed it away, together with his captain haori.
The woman sat up to place kisses on his chest and neck in a passionate manner. Kenpachi lost track of when he was doing, amazed by the feeling of her lips and how much he adored it. Her palms were caressing his skin, the sensation making him delirious. He closed his eyes and surrendered to her touch. Her mouth moved across his torso, not missing any of the marred flesh, before focusing on his neck again, trailing her teeth over it and arriving at his lips. The captain opened his mouth and submitted to her in bliss as he buried his hands in her hair.
Retsu bid him to bed and he lifted her and moved them to the futon without breaking the resumed kiss. His hands traced the curves of her body, finding the end of the obi that kept her nagajuban closed and untied it, tenderly but eagerly unwrapping her body, before pushing the garments down, helping her free herself from it.
The woman lied back and Kenpachi's eyes took in her image as if he had never seen her bare before. He had stained her face and mouth with blood and more blood had rushed to her sides, colouring them wine red. Her lips appeared even redder, soft and swollen from his kisses, like an overripe fruit he wanted to bite into again and again. The captain's gaze moved lower, over her white skin and the oddly coloured scar, over her full breasts and soft belly, down to the black hairs that grew at the very bottom.
Under his scrutiny, her hands fidgeted at her sides, reluctant if she should cover some parts of herself for modesty's sake, but this was what she wanted – to be seen-through, stripped bare, exposed.
"You are so beautiful." He murmured in awe, more to himself than addressing her. Surprisingly, the female felt her heart flutter at those stupid words she had heard a million times from thousands of men. Oh, what had she gotten herself into?
Kenpachi pressed her down with his weight, kissing her mouth deeply, before trailing bloody kisses down her sensitive neck, over her collarbone and scar, on the groove between her breasts. He stopped on her chest, taking a hard nipple between his lips to suck on and he felt her arch into his touch, writhing beneath him. She liked it but this was not his destination. The male grew bolder, his tongue darting out to leave wet traces upon her skin. His mouth went lower and lower still, as his hands kneaded her breasts until they slid to her smooth stomach and then down her legs, reaching her knees and lifting them over his shoulders.
The boldness waned as the captain realised he was absolutely unprepared. Often, he had fantasised about doing this to her – putting his lips on her like one would put his lips on the water's surface when drinking straight from the spring. He had pleasured her with his fingers before and there was a way to do it with his mouth for she did not stop him now but how exactly?
Kenpachi breathed in her scent and ran the flat of his tongue against her slick folds, sending a shiver down her spine. She tasted just as he remembered. He used his fingers to spread the pair of lips, exposing her to his eyes, and studied the pink velvety flesh. The man felt her shift and glanced up to see her propping herself on her elbows, with just a touch of bashfulness in her features. He would have liked to maintain the eye contact, to watch as she reached her high but he hardly knew what to do.
The captain traced the inner lips with his finger, as one would stroke a flower's petals before he put his lips on the little bud atop them. Then, he drank. Her thighs shook as he gently sucked on it and teased it with the tip of his tongue, earning a sudden moan of approval. Good. With his mouth never leaving her mound, he moved lower, kissing and catching the soft folds between his lips, then he slid his tongue inside her. Retsu let out a low hum as he drew patterns on her walls. The man returned to lapping at her clitoris as one of his hands let go of her buttock and he inserted at first one, then two fingers in the small opening.
Every moan and sigh, every slight tremor of her belly and hips was a guidance to what she liked. He looked up to her only to behold the most beautiful sight he had ever seen – Retsu was still propped up on her elbows, clearly with the intention to look at him work and to guide him if the need arose, but now her head was thrown back in pleasure. He could see only the redness of her lips and the bloody trails he left down her neck and over her breasts and stomach. As if ravaged by a monster.
His calloused fingers slid in and out of her easily and fast while his mouth made the most obscene noises. At this point, her body was tensing with her impending release. Kenpachi twisted his fingers up and curved them, tracing her softness with his finger pads. For a moment, her thighs clenched hard on both sides of his head and then her whole body gave out as she screamed in ecstasy. He swallowed and grinned against her as he slurped her clean, letting her ride out her orgasm. Retsu hid her face in her palms, suddenly overwhelmed by his shameless actions and how much more aroused they were making her. The captain retracted his wrinkled fingers and brushed his palm against her convulsing sex. She shuddered and winced at the touch, swallowing hard before speaking through her ragged breathing.
"No, stop, stop touching me just for a little while. Let me recover." The woman almost laughed at the fact that the one thing she needed to guide him through was to stop. She had been ready to coherently voice her preferences, hadn't he made talking unimaginable. "Since when can you do this?"
"Since now." He replied as he eyed the wet patch of bedding under her, his voice booming with boast, and she smiled weakly in response.
Kenpachi crawled back on top of her and kissed her, letting her taste herself. She reached for the sash of his hakama, untied it and pushed the now loose pants down his muscled legs with her feet. Her hands went to the nape of his neck. Kenpachi briefly turned around to shake off the black garment off his body. Retsu brought him down for a deep kiss, smiling to the thought of what was to come. She would pave her way with kisses down his torso before returning the pleasure he just gave her. The woman caressed the underside of his cock, feeling it twitch in her palm, and the man took a sharp breath.
"No, don't. It's too much even like that." He was so painfully hard he could hardly bear her touch without exploding from the sensation.
"We can do this any way you want. Tell me what you want."
"I want you."
He instinctively gave his cock a stroke, that made him shudder, and positioned himself against her. His eyes hungrily took in her image for a thousandth time – her dark hair, sprawled everywhere, her grey eyes stormy with desire, looking at him, her slightly parted lips stained with his blood, her perfect skin and the scar blooming above her breasts. Retsu was divinely beautiful. The captain noticed she was shaking. His thoughts ran wild, wondering if she would break in his hands.
"You're trembling." He stated, sounding almost wounded.
"So are you." She was right. The woman beneath him had seen the concerned look in his eyes. Kenpachi almost laughed at the state they were in. A mountain of corpses stood behind them and yet they were trembling in each other's embrace.
"It's alright, Kenpachi…" Retsu let her hand between their bodies, taking his and aligning him to her entrance. He slowly pushed inside her and she took a deep breath and held it, welcoming him inside of her. It had been too long and the sensation had never been this intense. Yet, there was no pain or discomfort, he, knowingly or not, had made sure so; just overwhelming sense of fullness.
Kenpachi bore his eyes into hers and she thought they could swallow her whole. He could feel her moulding to him in order to accommodate him and while this new sensation further fuelled his lust, he wondered if she was okay. Drunk on being inside of her, his head spinning, he could not utter a single word. When the male sheathed himself completely inside her, he stopped, giving a break to their strained bodies, and searched her face for any sign of discomfort; when he found none, he kissed her hungrily.
When they finally broke the kiss, it was Retsu's turn to study his face. Sweat had beaded on his forehead, his peridot eyes alight with passion and desire but she could feel him tremor through their joined hips.
"You don't have to hold back," he heard her repeat, amazed by how she could speak. Retsu knew she had had her fair share of pleasure and he looked so overwhelmed by this unfamiliar feeling. To expect more was foolish and selfish. More nights would come.
"Not yet. I want more," he managed to muster some power of speech. The male kissed her again until he felt the tension slowly dissipate. Soon enough he started moving, retracting a mere centimetre back, before sliding slowly in again. The movement came naturally to his hips, the muscles of his buttocks clenching and unclenching in rhythm. Aided by her ankles crossed behind his back, Kenpachi settled a steady pace, as steady as he could, given the coiling in his loins, threatening to explode much too early. Retsu's breasts were pressed flush against his chest, moving up and down with her deep and fast breathing. She was looking him in the eyes, drunk on their intimacy and the mere sensation of him above her, all around her, inside her. Her fingers softly brushed against his jaw, down his neck and chest, as if she was touching something precious. Something beloved. The feelings that caress invoked left him breathless.
His movements became longer, almost fully slipping out of her before driving himself back with passion as she pushed to meet him, increasing the momentum; his pace quickened and she shut her eyes to the pleasure that once again surged through her. Moans were escaping her lips as her eyebrows locked in an expression one could mistake for pained. Retsu swore she could feel him in her deepest, in the marrow of her bones.
Kenpachi was close; his grunts mixed with her moans as they moved fast and hard like animals, like gods. Her fingers were tangled in his long hair, digging in the skin of his back, drawing blood but he hardly felt the pain, the sensation only adding to his ecstasy. He grabbed her wrists and entwined their fingers on either side of her head while his deep thrusts made her breath hitch every time he sheathed himself fully. Nothing could banish his name from her lips and he knew he had chosen well; he needed no other name. The male felt as if he was melting away, moulding to her and she to him, inside of her, while her legs were wrapped tight around him and in return he covered her with his body, a perfect alloy of flesh, so fused together he couldn't tell where he ended and she began. He put his forehead on hers, breathing in her breath, his name. Yes, all was melting away…
She locked her legs behind him and pulled him in, craving everything he had to offer. Retsu screamed as her orgasm took her once more, waking through her whole body. She tensed tight around his cock, so tight as if they had become one, forever inseparable and he was undone. Kenpachi buried himself as deep as it was possible, reaching her core, whispering her name like a spell, letting his seed to fill her up completely as his mind danced on the brink of consciousness. Their lips met on instinct, every one of them seeking the other as the spasms in their lower bodies still made them move against each other.
The captain carefully pulled out of her and she winced at the loss of him. He rolled them over, leaving her to lie on top of him, still half-lost in euphoria. His lip had somehow stopped bleeding even after all the torture it endured. Kenpachi knew the lower half of his face was smeared with drying blood. The stinging from the claw marks on his back was slowly getting to his brain and he saw his flesh under her nails, her fingertips red with his blood. It was in her name after all. Violent. He noticed the woman lying on top of him staring at her bloodied hand and he covered it with his. Retsu looked up at him.
"You are always bleeding because of me."
"I don't care. Take it all." Retsu was the last of the first captains. He knew that old gods were worshipped in blood. Kenpachi felt her fall asleep and kissed her forehead.
A.N.: I would LOVE any kind of feedback, honestly, I always take constructive criticism (not without crying :D) Jokes aside, it was nerve-wracking writing this trying to decide if they were more sweet or more fiery I hope it's not too cliched or overly brutal and that the smut is hotter than it is cringy. Anyway, I have one more state exam left (I passed my previous two, hurray!) and one more chapter to write and the dust will settle there, so hopefully I'll see you soon! If anyone want to chat I'm on tumblr decomposion and on twitter inthemood4angst (fitting, i know)