Chapter 21: Honor
We are all going to die I am sure of it now. I surrendered Winterfell to keep the people of Winterfell safe. Roose promised they would be safe but Roose is a liar. Elia had been right about him she warned me in the middle of the night that I could not let a bannermen tell me what to do and that I had to take control and remove him from Winterfell by force if necessary. I trusted my bannerman. I was wrong, I was the pup they all thought I was. Now we would die for my mistakes. I am alone with my thoughts shivering in the tower cell. Winterfell did not have large dungeons that is not how the kings of winter handled enemies. They made them friends and banners, or they made them bodies in the ground, neither which need cells. The few cells we did have now were full except mine which was left empty aside from me.
The cold wind rustled through the old stone. My teeth chattered in my corner. Nan was in the room next to mine with other girls. Sometimes she would tell the stories she told me as a boy sometimes she was so incredibly quiet I worried she was dead. Sometimes she just cried for her grandsons. Luwin and many other men I knew were in the cell on the other side. Luwin would give advice on staying warm.
I wondered if Brandon had been so cold when he died, or if it was swift. The Bolton guards had taunted me that when my brothers body arrived it would not be buried as the charade was over instead, they would put it in my cell. I tried not to cry no matter what they did I knew Brandon would not want me to cry.
I thought of Brandon a lot how bold and brave he would be. I thought of my father and his unwavering strength but how he would smile sometimes at Brandon or I's jests. He loved us truly and he died for us. Brandon died for us in the mountains he was to strong and Bolton feared Brandon because he knew he was out matched by my big brother. My mother died bringing me into the world she died for me. Only Lyanna died selfishly, she died for her Dragon prince bringing his son into the world. Brandon could not understand why she did that? Ned tried not to think about it at all. But neither of them knew her like I did. They both were fostered away and saw her on occasion. I grew up with her and knew how she was, she would pour wine on me when she perceived I slighted her or push me in the snow. She was brave like Brandon and loved to fight like Brandon. She was insistent on getting what she wanted, and father always gave it to her because she was his only daughter, he said she looked just like mother. That's how I knew the horrible truth she must have wanted this Dragon prince and what she wanted she got. I did not know if she knew how kind and good Elia was, but I knew she would not have cared.
I wondered how my death would be remembered probably as a stupid boy who was too trusting, and they would be right. I thought about my death a lot. I would either be beaten to death or freeze. There was a hole at the top of my cell no larger than a fox hole and sometimes bread was dropped through it so I would not starve. It was Elia that sent the food I knew it had to be because their was a message inside the bread I seemed to eat most of it but the pieces I had were Red Viper, help, and nearer then thought. This may have given Elia hope, but her brother would not make it through the walls alone and my death still seemed inevitable.
As grim as it was thinking of my death it was a good distraction from thinking about the mortal danger Elia was in because of me. As well as Brandon's unborn baby. Brandon would be disappointed I did not protect them better but the truth of it was I loved Elia myself. She was more like a mother or sister to me then Lyanna ever was. Not that I would tell my brothers that. Not that it mattered I would never see them again. I hoped I would see Elia one last time to apologize to her.
The sound of boots shook me from my thoughts Nan started wailing as it came closer. "It's alright Nan." I lied. I was relived when my cell door opened, I was the only one here who deserved the torture. Luwin was shouting at them to leave me alone.
"GET UP!" The guards yelled but they did not wait instead pulling me from my corner and out the door. We did not go to the connecting guard's hall Bolton used as a torture chamber instead for the first time in many days I was taken out into the light of day which made me squint. The light shined against the snow in a blinding way. My eyes still widen as we walked across the inner wall and I look out to see the army facing Winterfell.
I stopped moving going to the wall. "Ned!" I cried out as though he could hear me my big brother had come for me. I was pushed forward and down the stairs into the Yards where Roose Bolton waited. The guards began tying my hands and trying to gag me I resisted and fought back best I could, kicking and biting.
"Come now boy your brother is waiting." Roose said catching my attention I stilled long enough for them to bind my arms and gag me I was lifted onto the back of a horse and my feet tied to the saddle. "Don't try anything funny boy." The guard in front of me said.
My brother was waiting to treat with Howland Reed, Lord Crewyn, and the Blackfish. Lord Bolton had a Ryswell and Dustin at either side.
Ned's eyes were focused on me he looked over my black eye and bruises and it in raged my calm brother.
"How dare you lay a hand on him!" He tells lord Bolton angrily.
"I am not the one whose endangering him, if you and your large army so much as move to siege Winterfell your brother will die, your greater numbers mean nothing not while I have Benjen Stark some northern houses haven't even joined you in fear of endangering him, they would rather live under my rule then be the reason Rickard Starks youngest son is dead."
"What about your son have you thought of him?" Ned asked finally looking at Lord Bolton.
"My son I am giving everything to." Roose reminds. "He will inherit the North."
"Not if you harm another hair on my brothers head." Ned warns.
"You think you can threaten my son hundreds of miles away?" Bolton askes dryly. "You're not the man your brother was Lord Stark, you're a tolerable nuisance so why don't you go away and be just that." Lord Bolton said to the laughter of the men around him, but Roose never laughed.
I began chewing on my gag as it seemed I had been forgotten which was a good opportunity.
"MY brother, Lord Brandon Stark is taking an army to the Dreadfort right now. "
"Brandon Stark is dead he is lord of nothing but the ground now." Roose declared. "What liar told you this?"
"Oh I trust my informant. You tried to kill my brother in the mountains but your no match for him." Ned says he looks right at me as he says it my heart is pounding; I cannot believe what he is saying.
"His skull was bashed in." Roose tells his Allies who look afraid.
"Brandon Stark has always had a thick head. "the blackfish says I think in an effort to make me smile. If anybody could survive its Brandon, I just know it is. Brandon is the best at everything.
"If Brandon Stark were alive his wolf blood would compel me to go to Winterfell with haste." Roose says but fear was slipping into him.
"Lord Stark can learn from his mistakes it seems. He will have your son and wife as his prisoners before tomorrow. He will trade his wife for yours and your son for my brother and I will take Winterfell once they are safe and you will die in a horrible manner he has planned out for you, or you can submit now and I will execute you with a clean swipe of a sword." Ned tells him simply the only bargain he would make.
"I will trade Benjen Stark for my son, I will see to it young Benjen is treated properly from now on as I expect my son to be, when he is here we will trade but I will not submit Winterfell. Not when I still have hostages." Lord Bolton promised.
"If you harm lady Stark your own wife-" Ned starts strongly but Bolton raises a hand.
"Kill her and be done with it. I will not trade the princess not while your brothers baby lives in her stomach."
"Shes…" Ned cannot believe it.
"With child yes, Brandon should remember that when handling my son." Roose warns. "If that's all." Roose said knowing Ned would not take Winterfell while Brandon's child was inside it, Roose had won again as he seemed to have every intention to.
I have chewed through my gag but have been holding it in my mouth as though it were whole, I spit it out now to warn Ned of an ally he did not know about.
"The Red viper Ned you must write him tell him Elia's in danger he isn't in Dorne he is closer then-" I shouted wiggled from my captor but the guard hit me hard in the face before holding my mouth shut I tried to move out of his grasp as my mouth filled with blood but he held it firmly closed.
"He's choking on his blood! Someone helps the boy!" The blackfish spat. Ned was shouting but his word were lost on me I was held off to the side of the horse as much as my binds would let me an their allowed to puke up my own blood.
Howland reed was trying to keep Ned from charging forward as I was lifted back up onto the horse my mouth was held shut again.
"Remember every hit Benjen, your big brother says they are to be give it tenfold." The blackfish says and I almost smile that sounds like Brandon.
We depart from this treat with nothing really solved and Ned unable to attack and us stuck in Winterfell. The gates of Winterfell close I am cut down and beaten for misbehaving. Until I am grabbed by the wrist and pulled away. Roose Bolton is the one pulling me, so I know I have not been saved and instead something much worse is coming.
He leads me inside and up to wear Elia is kept it is not the room she shares with my brother but a small little chamber. Her stomach is now round with her babe. Her eyes go to me immediately.
"Benjen, what have you done to him!" She demands I realize my face is bleeding, Elia speaks with the confidence of a princess even when she is a prisoner and I wish I was like that to but I truly was a boy as they all say. Myla is next to her looking worried
She stands carefully and Roose throws me onto the floor. Elia moves to me at once. "Are you alright." She asked softly I nod looking up at her.
"Where is your brother!" Bolton asked her narrowly.
"My brothers are in Dorne?" she says if I did not know better, I would say she is truly confused.
"No! Where is the red viper!" Roose says.
"Oberyn is in Dorne." She says back just as calm she never falters.
"Where are her letters!" He barks at Myla. "Be truthful girl or you will be when I flay you."
"There!" Myla admits pointing to a wooden box.
"Get it." He demands.
I am told my mother was not one for jewels but when I was little hers were kept in that box until Lyanna convinced my father to give them to her. I had no idea what happened to my mothers jewels but from what Brandon had told me about her I think she would have liked that Elia kept letters from home in it or mayhaps she would just like Elia.
Myla brings the box, but Bolton is cautious. "You touch them." He says.
Myla is trembling as she picks up the letters.
"Its only letters." Elia sighs.
Roose read over the letters before throwing them on the floor.
"These are useless pleasantries! Where is he!" Roose asks.
"Those are all the letters I have." She assures. "I know not what you mean."
Roose kicks me. "He said the viper was near he had to get that from you!"
Elia looks at me puzzled I try to get up, but he kicks me in the stomach before stepping over me. He pushes Elia to the wall. Her hand is on her stomach protectively. "You need us." She reminds.
"I can present Ned Stark with any squalling babe and you are becoming a pain I no longer wish to tolerate." He is not watching me my eyes catch the cheese knife on the table with bread and wine. Myla peers out the door for guards and shakes her head. It's a cheese knife and he has a long sword as well as a dagger. It's almost doomed from the beginning I question if I can do this or if I will only doom Elia more.
His hand goes to his pants. "Mayhaps you just need broken in properly." My mind is made up I move for the knife.
"You are a horrible man!" Elia says keeping his attention one of his hands are on her shoulder and the other grabs her face.
"You are a dornish bitch." He says he begins to push her down she turns her head to the side he laughs lowly thinking its in fear of him. The knife goes right into his throat before he can fully turn. I push him to the floor away from Elia before falling down myself.
Myla is quick to shut the door. Lord Bolton sputters blood and flails on the floor before his body stills.
Elia acts quickly going to her box of letter she pulls out the letters from Oberyn and hands them to Myla.
"These are written in red viper venom, it is alright its harmless dry, dunk it in the soldiers wine, I want them dead before an army comes in and costs more lives. Once they are dead we will open the gates for lord Stark." Elia says softly and Myla nods going off.
"Ned is not lord Stark, he said so himself. Brandon is alive." I tell her through my tears.
"This is wonderful news." Elia says putting her hand on my shoulder.
"I killed a man with his back turned. I have no honor." I say slowly.
"You protected me from a horrible man. I think there is honor in that." She tells me. "We need to leave this room Benjen we cannot be found with his body. " I hear the worry in her voice she is still holding her stomach.
I get up nodding and wiping my face. "I will protect you and the baby no matter what." I tell her she looks so grateful as she nods. I take Bolton's sword before going to check the door.
We go until we hear footsteps then we hurry into a small chamber and I board the door. As soon as I have Elia hugs me and I did not realize how much I need the hug. I hold onto her for some time and she does not let go until I do. "I am very proud of you for doing what was necessary." She promises.
"I am so sorry Elia this was all my fault you knew he was bad."
"Because I have made all the wrong moves before in Kingslanding, we learn from our mistakes it is alright." She admits.
"I should take the black when this is all over for what I have done." I tell her.
"Killing that horrible man was no crime." She says she sits on the small bed.
"I probably would not survive the wall I am a boy." I tell her softly. "After all this time I am still the pup."
"No, you are a grown wolf now, we will have to think of a very clever mantra for you." She says she looks tired.
"You rest I will guard the door." I tell her.
"And leave you alone with your thoughts right now, never." She swears and I smile.
"I love you Elia; I am so glad you married my brother."
"I love you too" She promises she smiles at the mention of him. "Ben I cannot believe he is alive!" She says she toys with her locket.
"If anyone could survive the mountains alone its Brandon." I remind her.
We talk for hours we do not leave until the door is broken down. I stand ready for a fight, but I drop the sword when I see Ned I run into his arms and hug him.
"Benny!" Ned says happily before pulling me shoulders length away still holding onto me as he asks. "What the hell happened here?" My stomach does a flipped how would Ned understand.
"What was necessary." Elia assures before I can say anything. "If anyone is to be judged for what occurred it is me." Elia assures.
"Lord Stark was very specific about who was to be in charge until he returns so it is my duty to tell you Winterfell is once again yours my lady." Ned tells Elia it was a good call to leave her in charge. "So if anyone should be judging it is you." He says Elia smiles and Ned does too as he pulls me close. "I am just glad you are alright." He promises and it is not until he says so I realize I actually am alright. We lived and the weight of Winterfell is finally off my shoulders.