Sorry for the delay! Enjoy! ;)

Chapter 17: Closure

Despite the growing presence of my mother, the nightmare still comes. When I wake up, Mystogan's sitting opposite of me. He has a new mask and all the places your dark flames burned him are wrapped up in bandages. There's a cup of tea in his hand, but he's not drinking. I'm not sure if he just doesn't want to, or if it's because the mask is shielding his mouth.

'You've been out for two days,' he says, calmly. I blink and feel immediately more awake.

'Two days? Is everyone alright?' I do want to know, of course, but there's an even greater concern: does Fairy Tail remember me?

Mystogan knows what I mean. 'I haven't been able to check. Erza and the others are on their way back to the guild, and your brothers and sister have left on their own adventure. Here.'

He hands me a note. It has a sketchy drawing on it, I think it's a map. This must be where Shô, Wally and Milliana are heading first.

'Thanks,' I say softly, and I leave it at that.

Mystogan stays quiet for a while, and then says: 'So where are we going?'

There's still a little tension between us. He played babysitter for a reason I thought was invalid, but now after everything that's happened at the Tower, he's proven me wrong. I still have a long way to go, but it's not all dark. I have my mother now, which is still insane to me. I need some time to get used to this. And with that, Mystogan can't help me.

'I don't know yet,' I say then, 'but wherever it is, I will go alone.'

I watch him closely and see something shift in his eyes. 'I understand. Be careful, then.'

The wind suddenly picks up, and Mystogan turns to dust in front of me. His teacup stays behind. I sigh. I might've hurt him, but it's better this way. Our friendship is solid, we care about each other, but right now there's no trust.

I take another look at the sketchy map and think of the last moment I shared with Shô. I really believed things were gonna change, but I'm not so sure anymore.

I spent the rest of the day in the forest, just thinking about what the hell I'm supposed to do now. The bottle I stole earlier is not far away from me, but I don't open it. I have to come to terms with everything that's happened, and I'm doing it without a drink.

The day turns into night and I finally start walking out of the forest, back to the world of the living. I haven't eaten in so long, and I only have little cash on me, so I buy something that resembles a hotdog from a shady vendor. After that, I take another look at the map. Even if they don't remember me, it feels wrong to not say goodbye.

So I set out to find my fake family. The first part I thankfully had to travel through the mainland, but for the last I needed a boat, which I wasn't in the least excited for, as you can imagine. I had to get to this small island, maybe a few kilometers away. It was morning again already, and I didn't feel like calling forth dark wings, since there were so many people around.

There was a sweet fisherman who told me his son could take me over the water. He probably thought I was some poor homeless man, because I was still wearing my raggedy, ripped up clothes. The son, some fourteen year old brat, just kind of laughed as I struggled at the bottom of the boat, trying not to hurl after I'd only eaten something that looked like a hotdog. He had to roll me onto the docks of the island, still laughing. By the time I wasn't dizzy anymore, he'd disappeared.

I managed to get back on my feet and enhanced my nose for the first time since I arrived at the Tower of Heaven. It took me a little while to distinguish which scent belonged to what thing and which were more important than others. I didn't get a good whiff of Shô before, but I remembered some cheap cologne that got stuck in his jacket. And that was easy to find.

The town surrounding the docks was small and lay at the foot of a mountain. Surrounding it was nothing but rocks, perhaps dried up lava. It wasn't the best spot to go camping, but it made sense for people who'd spent the past eight years on the same island building a tower.

I watched for a while before approaching. Shô and Wally were discussing the best ways to create fire and Milliana seemed at the brink of tears, for some reason. Their first adventure as free people apparently didn't go so well.

The first one to notice me is Wally. He immediately jumps up and points a gun at me, and I think he doesn't remember me. To him I look just as pathetic as to the fourteen year old fisher boy that brought me to this island. So I don't get any closer and just hold my hands behind my head.

'I don't mean to disturb,' I say and I try to sound as reasonable as possible. I'm not afraid, of course. Bullets are easy to dodge.

Shô jumps up too and holds one of his magical cards between his fingers, ready to throw it at me.

I watch his face closely and hold my breath. I'm about to find out how much of Jellal's spell is left behind now that he's gone. I see the gears turning in Shô's head as, yes, thank the heavens, recognition kicks in.

'Wait,' he says, more to himself than to Wally, 'you were there.'

Milliana jump to her feet and narrows her eyes at me. With the delicacy of a cat she comes closer, while looking me up and down. Wally slowly lowers his gun, but doesn't put it away yet. Milliana walks around me, touches my hair, pulls my ear, sniffs my armpits. Then she stops and I hear a surprised 'Oh.'

Then she jumps on my back, wraps her arms around my neck and licks my cheek. 'It's you!'

I don't remember her being this touchy, but I just accept it as her way of telling me I'm appreciated. She hooks her legs around my waist and now we're piggybacking.

'Your hair's so soft,' she says, and I can tell she's rubbing her face against my head. I'm not sure what to say. Her love for cats has developed steadily over the years, let's leave it at that.

'Get off him!' Wally suddenly shouts. His gun is pointing at me again, but now his hand is trembling. 'Milliana, get off him!'

I feel Milliana freeze a little, but she doesn't let me go. 'But...I don't want to.'

Though Wally wears sunglasses, I can see he has a wild look in his eyes. He's starting to sweat. 'But…he hit you.'

I did. When they'd taken Erza from the resort, they transported her to the Tower with a boat. I chased after them, attacked them on deck but got trapped in one of Shô's cards. I did hit Milliana, I knocked her unconscious.

'Yeah,' she says, still with her face against my hair, 'but things were different then.'

Shô grabs hold of Wally's arm and pushes the gun away, so it's not pointing at me anymore. 'Wally, you have to think back further. That's Riku, remember?'

Poor Wally just looks more confused. He lets go of the gun, it falls hard on the rocks. He drops to his knees and takes his blocked face in his hands. I imagine the memories were overflowing him, everything that had been suppressed by Jellal. Perhaps, back then on the ship, he had realized who I was. I mean, Shô did, he called me "a traitorous brother", but as soon as we got to the Tower, he barely looked at me. All of them forgot about me.

'Riku,' whispers Wally to himself. 'Riku….was there?'

Milliana licks my ear. 'He sure was!'

Shô kneels down beside Wally, in way Simon could've done so. 'I know, it's weird at first. But he's on our side. Just think back to-'

'I remember,' Wally interrupts. He takes a few deep breaths. 'Riku. We lost you, after the uprising.'

After Grandpa Rob shielded everyone from the Magic Troops, Erza went back into the Tower to find Jellal. I went after her. I ate dark magic, and burned the ships.

I look at Shô. As of now, he is the only one here that knows I did it. He was there and Erza told the members of Fairy Tail at the Tower. And I can tell he hasn't told Wally and Milliana about it.

I turn my eyes to the ground. 'Yes. And I'm sorry. I thought...well, I thought you guys were dead. Otherwise I would've come back.'

Milliana is softly purring, but it doesn't exactly make me feel better. I might not have killed them when I burned the ships, but I took away their only chance to escape the Tower of Heaven. Yes, it might have been your flames, but if I tell them about you, I'll have to tell them why Simon died.

My mind is spiraling again, and I don't realize Shô has approached. He's standing in front of me, again with an attitude that resembles Simon's. 'We know. Right?'

I feel Milliana nodding her head, and I think Wally does the same thing. I know I have to look up, but I'm a bit scared. Before I can find the words, Milliana jumps off my back and takes my hand.

'You know how to start a fire, right?' she says, while pulling me towards their "camp". They've stacked a few rocks on top of each other and placed a blanket over it to make a roof. I can tell the entire thing will fall apart if someone moves around too much in their sleep. And the food they've brought isn't what you'd call endurable.

Milliana lets go of my hand and points at the fireplace. 'Well?'

I kneel down in front of it and I can tell they've tried rubbing sticks together. 'I mean, I can...how long have you guys been here?'

'A day or so,' says Shô. 'I think we're doing pretty great so far.'

Miliana groans in annoyance. 'No, we're not. It's been terrible...and I'm hungry.' I can tell by the tone of her voice this was probably the reason she was at the brink of tears before.

'Right,' I say, 'I get why you want to try…all of this, but there's a village just down the road. There has to be at least one restaurant.'

Milliana just kind of giggles. 'Yeah, but we don't have any money, silly.'

I feel stupid for not thinking of that myself. I pat down my own pockets, but I'm out too. 'Well, there's other ways to get food.'

Luckily, there was a restaurant owner who had a poltergeist problem. I showed the owner my Fairy Tail mark and told him this was what I did for a living, and he let me take a look. The poltergeist in question turned out to be a bunny cursed to be invisible till the end of time. It was almost too perfect of a job, because I could experiment with my mother's magic. I thought of what I did when I cleansed Jellal and used it on the bunny. The curse got pushed out of its body, but other than with Jellal's dark magic it needed a place to go. I could've easily eaten it, but I didn't feel confident enough, so I asked Shô to trap it in a magical card. That worked, and I kept the card in my wallet as a souvenir.

The entirety of the "job" took about fifteen minutes, and as reward we got to eat anything we wanted from the menu.

It seemed that what Milliana, Shô and Wally had eaten at the Tower wasn't nearly as good as the food in that restaurant. I figured it had to do with Jellal's magic, or the magic of the thing that manipulated him.

After everyone's stomach is filled, it's late in the afternoon, almost dinner time, but I can't imagine any of us feeling like eating in the next eight hours. The restaurant owner has given us a private space and a bell to ring if we want more. Other than that, it almost feels like we're actually having dinner as a family.

'That was great,' sighs Shô, leaning back in his chair, 'is this what it's like to be a guild wizard?'

I smile a little. 'Not always. It's great in other ways too. Don't you guys wanna be part of one?'

'Erza wanted us to,' says Shô, and he frowns a little, 'but I think we have other things to do first.'

'Yes!' says Wally, almost excited, 'see the world! Have some cool adventures! And be dandy!'

I'm not sure why he added the last part, but I remember him and Milliana both having their own quirks in their childhood, and I guess this was his now.

'Riku,' says Milliana then, playing with a chicken bone, 'have you and Erza been together all this time?'

I'm a little taken aback. 'Uh, yeah. Most of the time. We've...gone separate ways, but we're still friends.'

Milliana looks from the chicken bone to me. 'I'm glad to hear that.'

I'm not sure what she means by that and it makes me spiral again. Does she think I can protect Erza, or is Erza protecting me? Is it even about protecting at all?

I realize I must look weird, so I take another sip of water. I'm not drinking tonight, of course. Then I say: 'Yeah. It's good.'

There's a silence and I feel that if there's ever a time to bring up Simon, it's now, but I don't know how to start. 'I...uh…'

I just wish things were different. I wish none of this had happened. I wish I was able to save Simon. I wish I was able to stop Erza. I wish I never went to the Tower. I wish the Tower never existed. I wish you'd never taken me in. I wish my parents had never gone after you.

If they hadn't I would've probably lived an average life. I would've grown up average, married someone, gotten kids, died of old age. But instead I got this.

I wrap my fingers around my glass of water, as if it's the last burning torch inside a dark chamber. I close my eyes, which is even worse than looking at the ground. 'I'm sorry about Simon.'

The silence that was already there seems to get more intense. The words, especially the name of Simon, makes the air around the table tremble. After a while, I slowly open my eyes. Shô's sitting up straight, staring at his empty plate. Wally is biting his teeth down hard, making his jaw even more sharp than before. Milliana has pulled her knees to her chin and has tears in her eyes. I brought the mood down hard, but there's no other way. They deserve to know.

'I was there,' I say then, 'and I just….I'm so sorry for not stepping in when I could. There's….it's a lot to explain, but I have...powers and I could've...you know.'

Perhaps I should've rehearsed this beforehand. Milliana presses her eyes in her knees and sobs softly. I'm sitting right next to her and I could do something to comfort her, but I don't feel I deserve to do that.

'I understand if you hate me,' I say to all three, 'you have every right to. Simon…he should've lived.'

Shô looks away from his plate. 'It was dark magic that killed him. Right?'

I know he understands what that means. If he paid enough attention during Erza's and my story, he knows what it is I could've done. His mouth turns into thin stripe and he goes back to frowning at his plate. Milliana is still sobbing and Wally's jaws seem glued together.

I hear footsteps outside the room, the owner is about to enter. He opens the door slightly, looks in, reads the room, and leaves. I listen to him walking away and I think of what a big brother would say.

I won't let something like this happen to any of you.

I will become stronger.

I will become better.

I promise I will protect you.

But if I say any of those things, I would be lying, because I don't know if I can do it. Part of the reason I am here is because I didn't want to go back to Fairy Tail. At least, not right away. If I can't face Shô, Wally and Milliana, I won't be able to face Erza.

Shô looks up again. 'Thank you for telling us.'

His expression is hard to read. He looks angry, but his voice is calm.

Milliana lifts her face from her knees. 'Yes. That couldn't have been easy.'

I squeeze my glass of water harder between my fingers and wonder what the hell is going on. I want them to hate me. Why are they not hating me?

Wally finally relaxes his jaws. 'Shô told us about the magic. The one you have to supress.'

So they did know a little.

Wally kinda chuckles. 'I mean, I've always known there was something off about you. Not in a cool way.'

'Simon knew it too,' adds Shô, 'and to be honest, I think he'd be proud.'

What he means by this just goes completely over my head and I feel anger rise within me. 'That I let him die?! That I just stood by, ready to sacrifice Erza, because I was scared?! Shô, I basically killed him myself!'

Though he still wears anger on his face, his voice remains calm. 'I don't know, Riku. I wasn't there. But I've been around Simon for most of my life. He's kept his secrets, but I know how his mind worked.'

And when he says that, I feel like I'm being transported back to the moment I had shared the secret of the ships. Simon suspected Jellal was scared of me, and wondered if we could use that to our advantage. Back then, I thought he meant the flames, but now, in the restaurant, I realize he was talking about me with dark flames. The idea that I had it within me, even if I didn't have the power at the time to control them. He didn't pressure me into using your flames. And he'd acknowledged the weird kind of struggle I'd endured my whole life.

And then I know Shô is right. Simon wouldn't want to put me through that.

The death of Simon is something I will carry with me forever. No matter how I phrase it, I feel guilty for not stepping in when I could. I blame myself for the fact that the golden magic wasn't strong enough then. If I'd accepted my mother earlier, things could've turned out differently, but at that moment there was only a spark of her and a whole lot of you. I did what I'd always done: I resisted you. Simon died because I refused to be like you.

And somehow, as I'm sitting there in the restaurant, I get a little closure. I feel my anger die down.

A week passes in which I teach my brothers and sister all that I know about sleeping outdoors and gathering food when you don't have money. We get a little time back that was taken from us as a family. Shô seems an entirely different person when he's not either whiny or going crazy on ideas about ruling the world. He's kind and sometimes a jokester even. Wally is all about attitude and cool poses, while Milliana just hugs anything that resembles a cat. I know I'm smiling when I talk about them now and I'm glad that I went to see them after everything that happened.

And I wished I could've stayed longer. I would've liked to travel the world with them and pretend everything wass alright forever, but there were still things left unsolved. I had a new magic to learn, and also an apartment in Magnolia for which I paid rent. And to be completely honest: I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye to Erza.

I've said it a couple times and I will say it again: nothing nice ever lives long. On my seventh day with my siblings, which were also seven days in which I wore the same raggedy clothes, Mystogan showed up. His shadow emerged at our campsite and he stayed away from the light, just in case. Wally, Miliana and Shô knew the voice of Jellal too well and had seen his eyes countless times. They'd recognize them in an instant.

I saw him first, then Wally. My heart dropped a little, but then he said: 'Hey, isn't that your friend?'

When Mystogan had saved their rowboat from the Tower, he'd thankfully thought of covering his face. It's a weird thing to dwell over: being saved by someone wearing the same face as the one you're fleeing from.

'I'll be right back,' I say to my siblings, and walk over to him. I immediately know something's off. Mystogan has never looked so down. He wasn't exactly cheerful before, he'd been through too much already, but he had a sense of calmness about him. Now he just looked distressed, terrified almost.

Without saying a word, he turns around and starts walking. I follow him to the other side of the mountain, as far away from any ears as possible. There he stops, turns to me, and says: 'Erza has seen my face.'

I feel instantly cold. 'How?'

Mystogan sits down on a rock, leaning his elbows on his knees. He takes off his hat, and his blue hair falls over his eyes. 'Laxus knew. I'm not sure how. I've been so careful. Always.'

You probably don't give a shit about any of this, but I do, so I will tell you why this is so terrible. Now that Mystogan's secret is out, there's no way he can return to Fairy Tail. If Erza or Laxus ever told anyone what Mystogan actually looked like, he'd be arrested for Jellal's crimes. The only place that was his home in this world was now gone.

And, to bring it back to me: I knew Mystogan's true face and I hadn't told Erza about it. She didn't tell me about Siegrain, the guy in the Council, either, but this was different. Mystogan was part of Fairy Tail. He was my teammate. He was practically family.

But still, whatever this meant for me, it was worse for Mystogan. He'd basically lost everything, and he seemed at the brink of tears.

'Wait,' I said, after I'd thought for a little while, 'start at the beginning. How the hell did this happen?'

All of it was Laxus's fault. The idiot had gone insane, basically. He thought Fairy Tail looked weak compared to other guilds, just a bunch of idiots. Together with his three teammates he'd orgistrated a game to find out who was the strongest in the guild. Of course, he'd hoped that would be himself. In order to get everyone to join in, he and his team did a bunch of shitty things: first, they turned a group of girls who where competing in a beauty pageant to stone and used them as hostages. Then they forced everyone else out the guild, except those over 80, to fight in town. One of Laxus' friends was a rune mage, so he trapped everyone in battle grounds and only the winner could leave. Then there was also a circle of electrified lacrima hanging over Magnolia, and if Makarov didn't drop his title as guild master, bad stuff was gonna happen. Or something like that, I don't remember that part so well. And on top of that: if anyone tried to destroy the lacrima, they'd get electrocuted, because of an Organic Link Spell.

'What the hell,' I just sighed at all of that, 'why go through all that trouble?'

Mystogan didn't answer and continued telling how it all went wrong. He just happened to be in town and knew he had to do something. He met Laxus in the Cathedral and they clashed. At first it seemed Mystogan was winning, but then Erza appeared. He got thrown off his game for a second, and Laxus used that unguarded moment to blow his mask apart. Next, Mystogan looked Erza right in the eyes, and saw firsthand all the hurt that face of his had caused her.

The only thing he could do was run away. That's how he came here.

'But how?' I ask when he's done. 'How did Laxus know?'

Mystogan shook his head. 'Maybe I screwed up somewhere. Maybe he snuck a peak while I was not paying attention.' He bowed his head and hid his face, still with a mask before it, in his hands.

'Damn it,' I say. Laxus ruined Mystogan's life and at that moment I think Laxus is too far up his own ass to realize what he has done.

I've been angry plenty of times. After Jellal had murdered Simon, I was so angry I just stopped having feelings altogether. And when Mystogan sat there, basically crying, I felt almost at the same level. Only a few heartbeats later and I just would've straight up let the flames take over. Ever since my mother's magic appeared, they've been quiet, but now that I felt this negative emotion, they grew stronger.

I notice just it just in time, take a deep breath and take control again.

Mystogan is more important now.

'I don't think Erza would rat you out to the government,' I start, 'she would first want to know more. And I don't think you've lost yet. We might have to make Mystogan disappear. We find you a new outfit, new mask...maybe something crazy this time. And we can think of another cool name.'

Mystogan doesn't look up, and I'm not sure if any of this reaches him. He feels lost, the way he was before joining Fairy Tail. Before I found him. He feels as if he has nowhere else to go.

'Mystogan,' I say, but there's still no sign that he's hearing me, 'just stay here for now, alright? Keep an eye on my siblings, don't get too close….you know why.' I pause. Still nothing. 'I'll go check how Erza feels. I won't tell her the whole truth if you don't want her to know, but I can share enough to make her understand. OK?'

Mystogan is still not moving, holding his face. Just a giant ball of sadness and grief. I wait a little more, but I won't get much more out of him. Just like myself before, he needs to deal with this on his own.

So I leave. I go back to camp. With every step, I feel my anger rise up again. I think of that smirk on Laxus' disgusting face. At first I just thought of him as a low life, because he was always teasing me. He barely seemed to go out on jobs, but he was still an S-class mage. He clearly thought too highly of himself, and all I want to do now is punch him in his stupid face.

Only Shô is still up, he sits by the fire. Wally's snoring loudly, and Milliana's purring.

'Everything alright?' Shô asks as I approach. I can't tell him, of course, and it feels like lying when I say Mystogan's "in trouble".

'I...have to leave,' I add, 'just for a little while.'

Shô's clearly disappointed, but he nods. 'Of course. Do you want us to wait till you come back?'

The innocent way in which he asks me this makes my heart ache, and he sees it in my face.

'Oh. Right.'

And I feel like a dick. 'If you just keep using that awful cologne, I can always find you.'

This manages to put a smile on his face, thankfully. We both say nothing, and I feel people who are not me would have hugged Shô by now. But I just give him one final nod, and take off.

If you've paid attention, you'll notice I didn't tell Shô I was going back to the guild. I told Mystogan I was. Well, I told him I would check on Erza, but I'm not. There's something else I have to do first.

It's already night and there are no lacrima around the beach, so no one will see me call forth dark wings. The flames are pleasantly surprised that I use them, they can barely contain themselves. I fly up, till I feel I'm shielded by the clouds that hang over the ocean. With speed that makes my eyes water, I go to the mainland. I enhance my sense of smell.

According to Mystogan, the Battle of Fairy Tail only happened two days ago, which means Laxus can't be far from it.