Bet yall thought this was dead but eyyyyyy IT AINT.

I'm sorry it took as long as it did for me to update this last chapter. I was on a real roll with this story, and then when I had most of this chapter written my Muse decided to switch off onto Pack Mentality, and then promptly got stuck there for the next... few years . And is, just so you know, still stuck there.

HOWEVER. I've gotten off some of my medication I suspect was brain fogging me and worsening my depression. Plus I've read a really good fic by Aard_Rinn over on AO3 (Crime in Crystals series, please go read it it's fantastic) and that's kind rejuvinated my writing muse a whole bunch.

So I finally went through and did another Re-read of this, took me a few days, and then i had to fix a big ol' plot hole I had highlighted for fixing that required a full re-read to fix lol. And then i had to figure out if the last section of this was going to BE that last section of this. I know i said this was meant to be a 3 part finale chapter, but i still have several plot points to cover and so I'm going to have to make another chapter before the Epilogue.

I am going to close out this 3 part bit and just... make the last chapter it's own thing. Mostly so i don't have to follow the naming convention anymore, but also because that just feels right.

AS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Starts out with some actual honest to god smut. LONG time in coming, I know. And then it gets to a part I was going over in my head for years and years and years and it STILL plays in my head when I hear the music that is the theme for it ( Röyksopp - Running To The Sea (Ft. Susanne Sundfør) (Seven Lions Remix) - If you want to listen to it with the chapter, it won't line up exactly, but start listening at the 5th pagebreak).

And now I'm posting this part i can finally upload whatever pics of that scene i have floating around that I've drawn and not uploaded so i didn't spoiler anything, so you can check my DA for that if you want (same username).

And yeah, beyond that, we get some real actual fucking answers and conclusions to several plot points here. Like I said, i wanted this to be the final chap before Epilogue but well, now it's just a big plot-point-closure-chapter. With a nice bit at the end I think you'll like. :)

K go ahead and read if you remember anything about the previous chapters and don't need to reread them for it to make sense. I know I did because this shit has been sitting in my files for literal years.

~Death Out

P.S - Trigger Warning for mild drug use

The chip tinkled slightly in its little container. Weird way to contain a chip, but it wasn't like he hadn't seen it before.

Bots who made these used what they had available. Which in this case seemed to be tiny pyrex bottles, the kind usually used for small amounts of liquid or mercury shots, sometimes powdered mineral additives.

Bumblebee mulled over the instructions Tapout had given with the chip. He was still processing that whole session, really. It had been…. Weird, to him at least. But everything felt weird. And not real.

The machine at the hospital had done its job exceedingly well, he'd recharged for a solid ten cycles. As if that wasn't disorientating enough, he even FELT as if that time had passed, despite being kept in a state of near cryo-stasis.

It was a lot like what they'd done to keep him offline when he'd first been rescued. The machine plugged into him had forced him into stasis, but rather than block all of his higher processing functions, it had allowed a degree of memory purge without actually letting him remember.

He'd been told it monitored his processor and spark activity and actively altered its blocking mechanisms. Because of this, his systems couldn't work their way around it like they had the codes.

And yet the memories still PLAYED, according to First Aid, just not in a part of his processor where he could relive them consciously. Bumblebee had NO idea how that worked, but he couldn't deny that it HAD worked.

Well… to a degree. His chronometer registered the passed time, but when he'd woken up, he'd felt very… off-kilter. Like his consciousness was slightly removed from his frame.

First Aid had explained this was a kind of dysphoria that was common after using that machine, and it would clear up within a few cycles.

It both had and hadn't. He felt like his body and spark where in sync again, but the off-ness was still there. It was a numbness he couldn't explain, and didn't like. He didn't want to be in pain, but he did want to feel SOMETHING.

The thought had him looking down at the chip in the bottle again, frowning.

Bumblebee had re-scheduled his session with Tapout the day after he was supposed to have had it. Rung had been a little surprised, but Tapout hadn't.

The look on the Khaki bot's face when he'd seen him was full of a kind of understanding even Rung couldn't give him. Bumper had been much the same, though Bee had been surprised to see him.

"Now listen," Tapout had put a hand on his shoulder and given him a very serious look. "I know why you came. I know you're only going to wanna not think about everything from yesterday. But I've set something up for you, and I want to check if you're up for it or not. Because I really think it'll help, but I might be wrong. I know not all bots handle their problems the same way."

Bumblebee had blinked, giving him a slightly wary look. "Uuuh… okay? What is it?"

"I made up a bunch of punching-bag dummies and put the faces of the Cons who messed you up on them. The idea is that you get to beat the ever loving slag out of them until you feel better."

The scout had given him a blank look, resetting his optics before glancing at Bumper with an 'is he serious?' look on his face.

The tan bot had given him a wry sort of smile and nodded. "Yeah. He did it for me a long time ago. For what it's worth, it DID feel pretty good."

Not really knowing how he'd react, Bumblebee had swallowed any reservations he might have had and nodded.

He hadn't regretted it. Slamming his fist repeatedly into Oilslick's face had felt really good. So had kicking the stuffing out of Spittor. He'd managed to behead Cyclonus and accidentally-on-purpose set Blackout on fire.

Strika got off easy, all he did was kick her face in. But he'd noticed a distinct lack of one face. When he asked about it, Tapout and Bumper gave him a slightly taken-aback look.

"Uuuh. We figured he might… be pushing it. But I mean… I can make one for you for next time, if you want?" the Khaki bot had shrugged as he doused the flaming blackout with a fire extinguisher.

Bumblebee sat on the bench against the wall beside Bumper, fans buzzing as they heaved cool air through his overclocked frame. His spark had been getting much stronger, but he still had limits, and he'd pushed them a little too far.

Tapout had come back over, setting the extinguisher under the bench and plonking himself down on Bee's other side.

"They put you on the machine last night did they?"

The scout looked up at him curiously with a nod. "How'd you know?"

"Didn't. Rung told me about it, said he was sorry that tech wasn't developed when I was still going through recharge purges. By the sound of what it does, and the way you're acting today, I'm kinda glad it wasn't."

The scout frowned. "Whadya mean the way I'm acting?"

Tapout held up a hand in a placating gesture. "Not meant as an insult, you're just not… yourself, y'know? You seem like you're here and a million miles away at the same time, and I'd put it down to what happened yesterday, except it doesn't really seem like the sorta reaction you'd have."

Bee hung his helm again and sighed. "No… If I hadn't used the machine I don't think I'd be here honestly… DEFINITELY don't think I'd be in any state to bash up those dummies. It just… it kinda left me feeling… detached. I mean I'm not nearly as tired as usual, which is good, but I can't… everything feels kinda… not real? But it is? I know it is. It's like something gnawing at the back of my mind and I'm trying to think about it and ignore it at the same time. It sucks."

Tapout had nodded, fiddling with one of his subspace pockets absently.

"I'd like to say I understand, and partly I do… but not really to a degree that approaches what you're dealing with. I know it's not a competition, but I mean if it was, Me 'n Bumper would lose to you anyway… point is, you've gone through rougher slag than even I coulda imagined, which makes me think you could use some extra help. Help Rung's not gonna give ya."

Bumblebee gave him a quizzical, sidelong look. His optics darted down to the thing Tapout had pulled from subspace.

The Khaki bot held it out to him, and curiously, Bumblebee took it. He gave the little chip in the bottle a confused look before turning back to Tapout. The bot's serious face was back.

"That's something that'll help you sleep without the weird dysphoria stuff the machine's given you. It's not… TECHNICALLY legal. But it'll do the job those weak medical codes didn't."

Bee frowned slightly. "It's not some kinda circuit speeder is it? I'm not shoving drugs into me, I've seen what those do-"

From his other side, Bumper piped up in a soothing sort of tone. "Nono, Primus no it's not a speeder. Kind of the opposite. It is classed as an illicit drug, but that's only because uncontrolled use is very damaging. In CONTRLLED doses, it's a powerful medicinal tool. Tapout got some for me when I was having problems with recharge purges. The key is only to use it when you really, REALLY need it."

Bumblebee looked between them and then back at the chip, brow still furrowed in uncertainly.

"What does it actually DO?"

Tapout had shifted a little closer and checked the training hall quickly before continuing. "It's a blocker primarily, called 'Euphoria'. It works on the memory recall centres, but keys into memories with certain spark sine waves attached. Essentially, it blocks BAD memories only. At the same time, it stimulates the charge systems ever so slightly to supress anxiety. It's a bit like getting overcharged without the surges or melancholia."

Bumblebee's expression shifted from dubious to amazed as the mech explained, and he turned the bottle over in his servos, inspecting the chip a little more thoroughly.

"Ssssoooo I'm guessing it's banned because it's addictive then?"

"HIGHLY. I… know from experience, but like I said… when I was in recovery, there was no recharge machines to keep the memories locked out, and codes wore off eventually. That's why I'm only giving you the one. Don't use it unless you feel you really need it, okay? All you have to do is slot it into an access port, any port is fine, right before you wanna recharge. It won't make you feel tired, but it'll clear up any anxiety real quick."

Bumper had covered the bottle and Bumblebee's servo, the tan mech pushing it down out of sight to urge him to put it away. A moment later, one of the cadets had poked their helm in the door and made some remark on the remnants of the dummies.

That session had been six days ago. And Bumblebee, try as he might, couldn't keep his mind off the chip.

Deciding when to use it was harder than he'd thought. How desperate was desperate for him? At this point, he hadn't recharged more than about 7 or 8 cycles in total since the stint on the machine.

Prowl had been his usual, extremely helpful self. Rung had been very understanding in their last two sessions, but he felt like he had hit a brick wall.

The memories continued to plague him, and none of the reassurances from the orange and cream bot made him feel any less anxious of the threat of Shockwave.

Not only did it feel as if he was stagnating in his progress to come to terms with what had happened, but he felt as if he was dragging Prowl down again. And Prowl would never admit it, so there was no point voicing the worry to the other bot.

On top of everything, he couldn't even stand to be out amongst other bots. No matter where he went, he'd overhear mechs talking about the broadcasts. It wasn't always about him, mostly it was bots trying to come to terms with how horrified they were. But some of them… some of them didn't seem to think it was real. And those ones usually started to say unkind things about him, at which point he'd try his best to get out of audial range. He REALLY didn't need to hear what they thought…

At this point… yeah, he felt like he was probably desperate enough.

Bumblebee was sat on their shared berth, the sound of running water telling him Prowl was still in the washracks. They had their own small washing unit adjoined to the room.

What would Prowl think of him, turning to an illegal chip to deal with his problems?

It's only illegal 'cause bots can't control themselves. That's what Tapout said, they'd rather just ban it than try and use it in controlled conditions to help bots who benefit from it. Like humans with that one plant… some kinda weed? Whatever, same diff, the council make lots of stuff illegal that's not really bad.

Bumblebee opened the bottle and tipped the chip out into his palm. The shiny gold surface was etched with super-conductive, luminous blue cybertonium circuitry.

He glanced between the door to the washrack and the chip, biting at his bottom lip-plate slightly.

No way would he be okay with it though. Prowl's all about doing things 'right'. But… taking it means he won't have to spend time using processor-over-matter to keep me under. It's not just for me, it's for him too. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

The sound of water cut off, and Bumblebee felt his spark flutter nervously. It was now or never.

Well… not never, He thought to himself as he popped open a port on his arm and clicked the chip in, shoving the bottle into subspace, just until tomorrow. But I'd rather it be today.

There was a few moments where Bumblebee wondered if the chip was a dud. Until a sudden weightlessness seemed to overcome him.

He drew in a deep ventilation, as if the air around him had suddenly gone from stale to fresh, and he couldn't get enough of it.

His optics flickered off so he could better appreciate the feelings travelling through his lines. A pleasant tingle spread from his arm up to his processor, then down through the rest of him.

Why the slag had he been feeling so horrible again?

NOTHING felt horrible now.

Bad memories didn't matter. They were in the past. He was out of that cell, he had full use of his body again, what was there to feel bad about?

He heard footsteps and onlined his optics.

Oh and there was PROWL. He had Prowl here, all to himself, that was NEVER a bad thing. That bright, intelligent visor. The smooth black swell of his glossy glass chestplate. The curve of those matte tan thighs he just wanted to reach out and smooth his servo over…

Wait, what?

Was he… getting revved up over Prowl right now?

He blinked up at the black and gold mech, who looked down at him with an equally bemused expression as he towelled off.

"…Are you alright Bumblebee?"

The scout reset his optics and let slip a little hiss of static.

Oh primus I'm totally getting revved over him right now why didn't Tapout say this was a side effect…

"I uh… yeah?"

Then again, does it matter? We ARE a thing now. I should probably just go with the flow.

The chip sapped any anxiety or doubt Bumblebee had before it had any time to bed itself in, leaving him with little to no inhibitions.

"Are you sure? You seem a little, well, a little more out of sorts than you have been lately." Prowl's visor got that concerned angle to it, and he slung the towel over his shoulder, kneeling in front of the scout.

Bumblebee shook himself mentally from his dumbstruck gawking and cleared his vocaliser.

"I'm fine, really, I just… suddenly really wanna… touch you. A lot."

Prowl gave him a look of bald-faced surprise.

"Oh… um… touch me… how exactly?"

Bumblebee's servos fidgeted on his knees, eager to just reach out and show him, but even in his euphoria haze he had enough sense to restrain himself.

"Just… everywhere. I wanna make you feel good. You keep making me feel good and I want to do that for you… I NEED to do that for you."

There was a tinge of unsureness to Prowl's visor at that, and he laid one of his servos over Bumblebee's. "You know you don't owe me anything-"

"It's not about that… it's not, I swear, I really… I just want to touch you. Making you feel good makes me feel good too y'know. Same as when you do it for me. So… can I? Please?"

The worry seemed to bleed from Prowl's visor, replaced with something much closer to what Bumblebee was feeling.

The moment Prowl seemed agreeable, Bumblebee was leaning forward, pressing their lip-plates together with lust-filled urgency.

If he was surprised by the enthusiasm, Prowl hid it well, pressing back eagerly and drawing in closer so that Bumblebee didn't slide off the berth.

Black and yellow servos were on him without preamble, sliding up his sides and around his back. They smoothed upwards along the planes of his booster jet casings, as far as they could reach, before Bumblebee drew them back down and around to his front.

Prowl found himself enjoying having his body mapped by the scout's servos more than he expected. To make it easier, he moved, breaking the kiss and getting up to sit beside Bumblebee, who immediately urged him to lay back. He did without any resistance, gasping softly when Bumblebee's servos resumed not on his chest, but on his midriff.

There was definite lust in the smaller mech's optics, like he'd never seen before. It sent a thrill through the ninja-bot's systems.

But as those black and yellow servos continued to slide up along the edge of his windshield, nagging thoughts bubbled to the surface of Prowl's mind. Was Bumblebee actually ready for this? Was he doing it because he felt he should and not because he genuinely wanted it? Even if he wanted it, was it helpful or harmful to his healing process?

He angled himself up on his elbows as Bumblebee's touches travelled downwards again, across his hips. He opened his mouth to voice his concerns, but the moment he caught sight of Bumblebee's expression, the words died on his glossa.

There was a raw, unmistakeable desire in Bumblebee's optics. No doubt. No anxiety. He wanted this.

As if reading his doubt, Bumblebee's servos paused at the junction where hip met thigh and gave him a searching look.

"You sure you're okay with this?"

"Are you?"

Prowl couldn't keep the static from his voice, and cleared it with a tinge of embarrassment.

Bumblebee just flicked him a cheeky grin. "Stop worrying about me, I never wanted this more. But I'm not gonna keep going if you don't. You sure don't SEEM like you don't want it. But anytime you wanna stop, just say the word."

Prowl blinked. How far exactly was Bumblebee planning on going? "Y-yes… I want it… but same goes for you. Don't feel like you have to keep going for my sake."

Bee nodded. "Glad we've got that cleared up."

He then dragged his servos down the inside of Prowl's thighs, making the black and gold bot arch and shudder. The blue visor flared with surprise and arousal.

Prowl couldn't find his voice to ask Bumblebee just what he was planning, it got lost somewhere between his processor and Bumblebee running his thumbs along the gap between hip and thigh.

Those servos then slid back up his frame, along with the rest of Bumblebee, and he moaned softly at the nimble digits that traced more seams, the edges of headlights, the curve of his jaw, every plane there was of him to caress.

Prowl moaned again, muffled by another kiss, as Bumblebee massaged along the leading edge of his booster jet casings.

He was glad more now than ever that he took his mods off to shower and recharge, because he felt much less bulky and restricted, and Bumblebee could reach SO much more of him with them off.

Prowl made a slightly disappointed sound as the scout broke the kiss to slide down his frame again. The sound was quickly followed by a garbled keen as there was a sudden, deliberate pressure on his codpiece.

He was up on his elbows looking down his chassis again, this time to find Bumblebee settling himself between his legs and rubbing at his panel.

"Wh- Bumblebee you're not… are you sure? I don't want you pushing yourself to-"

"Just open it will you? M'not going to frag you. Not… y'know, with my equipment anyway." He gave him that far too cheeky grin again, but Prowl was still not convinced.

"Bee, I know what they… what you were forced to… I don't want to cause you distress, it's not worth that."

The scout replied with a long-suffering look. "Prowl, c'mon, gimmie some credit. I'm not going to make myself do stuff I don't wanna. Plus they never forced me to do any of it with my servos. PLUS-plus, I have to try and re-associate it with good things instead of bad things at some point. Now feels like a good time to start."

Prowl gave him a still uncertain look, something nagging at the back of his mind about the situation. It wasn't that he thought they were going too fast exactly…

But then Bumblebee huffed and leant down, licking at his panel, and with a whimper, he found any reasons to protest escaped him.

The scout made a sound of triumph as the panel before him snicked open.

The sound Prowl made when he slid the tan thighs further apart with his servos and leant his helm forward to lap at the valve was very gratifying.

Bumblebee's own charge generator hummed with a low current as he slid his glossa slowly and firmly over the flexible platelets edging Prowl's entrance. This felt GOOD. It smelt good. It tasted good. His engine purred. Not a single worry or doubt nagged at his mind, leaving him free to enjoy himself.

And by the sound and feel of it, Prowl was ALSO enjoying himself, despite his worries.

It was very hard for Prowl to hold onto those worries when a hot glossa was busy swirling around his primary exterior node. Oh frag he'd never have thought Bumblebee capable of doing this to him.

Try as he might though, Prowl couldn't keep his spike sheathed. Not under the skilled onslaught of the scout's glossa. And now his mouth. Lip-plates moved against his port before the warm, slick glossa plunged in and oh primus!

Bumblebee's snicker at the strangled noise hid the click of the spike releasing. But if it bothered him, he didn't show it.

The moment Prowl noticed, he made to say something. But he wasn't fast enough. Before he could utter a word, one of those dextrous black and yellow servos was wrapping around his length and giving it an experimental squeeze.

Prowl choked out a moan and his head thunked back against the berth. Which earned another snicker against his valve, making him shudder.

For his part, Bumblebee wasn't at all bothered by the spike. The Euphoria was as effective as Tapout had said, he knew somewhere that he'd had extreme, traumatic experiences with spikes being near his mouth. But he couldn't remember them right now, and it just didn't seem to matter.

What he DID remember was touching his own spike, how it felt, what he liked, and it seemed logical to just… do that for Prowl.

He was pleased to find the theory seemed to ring true, with Prowl keening and arching as he stroked him and teased at the hub of his spike.

Bumblebee felt his own temperature rise slightly, and he went back to lapping into the valve with fervour.

It didn't take long before Prowl was arching, trembling, moaning his name. And then the valve clenched and spike zinged with ungrounded charge. Bumblebee realised it was an overload, and plunged his glossa in as far as he could while palming the spike quickly.

The released charge against his faceplate tingled pleasantly, matching the lovely tingle coming from his own charge generator.

He propped himself up a little, vaguely aware of the lubricant smearing his face, and released Prowl's spike. Bumblebee drank in the sight of post-overload Prowl, fans whirring and body nearly steaming in the cool room. It sent a different sort of tingle through him, which seemed to come from his spark.

Prowl sluggishly reached out and snagged Bumblebee's shoulder, tugging at him to get him to move up. Bumblebee made a pleased noise as he settled beside the black and gold mech who promptly kissed him, engine revving throatily.

Prowl could taste himself on the smaller mech and it sent a fluttering thrill of heat through his systems. His own servos moved now, stroking over Bumblebee's helm and neck, across his shoulders and chestplates.

He traced the nearly invisible central seam, and without a word Bumblebee opened up for him.

The scout hadn't expected reciprocation, but he didn't shy away from the servo that brushed along the edge of his casing. And it wasn't until those welcome golden digits caressed his corona that he realised just how worked up he actually was.

Everything at this point was a fuzz of bliss, and he chased the sensations without any expectation of pain or backlash.

He was rewarded with pure pleasure, making him gasp Prowl's name as that servo swirled patterns across his spark, pushing him into overload.

The world whited out in a static of molten ecstasy, and it was several moments before Bumblebee came down off the incredible overload high and remembered where he actually was.

Prowl chuckled and nuzzled at his forehelm when he onlined his optics again.

"You really WERE eager, weren't you? Didn't think you'd get away without getting your own overload too, did you?"

Bee made a mirring sort of sound and closed his chestplates, snuggling in against the larger bot.

"I don't know what I expected… I just knew what I wanted, and I really wanted to make you feel good."

Prowl hugged him close, stroking his backplates with a hum. "You'll be pleased to know you succeeded."

"You took it last night, didn't you?"

"Please tell me it's not super obvious and you just pick up on little things."

Tapout chuckled and pat his shoulder, something Bumblebee was very used to from the bot now.

"No it's not obvious. You just seem much more yourself today, and you look like you got a good night's sleep."

"Yyyyeeeeah, that's not all I got, I meant to talk to you about that."

Tapout raised an optic at the faint flush of embarrassed heat tinging the scout's cheek arches a dull red.

"You didn't get some weird side effects did you? I probably should have mentioned some bot's systems can go a bit loopy and give you like… weird sensory feedback, but I figured since you just got an overhaul it was unlikely your sensors would-"

"Nono, you kinda warned me about it I just didn't think… is it supposed to make you really over-eager for a frag?" Bumblebee murmured, looking around the empty training room as if he might be overheard.

Tapout blinked, expression blank. "Oh. OH. Ooooh… and you're bunking with…. Oooooh I didn't really think about that, uh, side of it… well, it's normal if you're uuuh… already kinda eager for that sorta thing."

Tapout tried and failed to supress a grin, and Bumblebee huffed, crossing his arms.

"Well slag, you can't blame me. We ARE a thing now, anyway. And I mean… you have SEEN Prowl haven't you?"

The Khaki bot just chuckled. "Yes, yes I have, and no, I DON'T blame you. Listen, it's not a bad thing, just maybe… don't tell him about it. It's not like you took it just so you could get jiggy without having to think about the bad stuff, though that's a legitimate reason as far as I'm concerned, but y'know… he might not see it that way."

Bumblebee nodded. He'd already thought about that, but it was something of a relief to know it had been more him than the drug that had instigated it. The drug had just… helped.

"But you DID get a good night's recharge after that I take it?"

Bumblebee nodded again. "Yeah, SLAG yeah. That stuff is great. I'm guessing I shouldn't be taking it again until I'm super desperate though, right?"

Tapout nodded. "Mmmhmm. It's easier if I don't give you another chip until you think you'll need it. It's way, WAY too easy to convince yourself you're desperate for it when you don't really need it. I fell into that trap, and the bot who was supplying me was just happy for the credits. Didn't give a slag about my actual health. I DO care about yours, and I'll make sure you don't get addicted. No point making it this far in your recovery only to throw it away on drugs."

Bumblebee just nodded, attention turning to the training matts when Tapout gestured at something huge and covered in a cloth placed in the middle.

"It's probably best you took it last night. It'll still be giving you a bit of a boost, and I honestly think you'll need it. I managed to get a dummy big enough, but please don't destroy it TOO thoroughly, I kinda wanted some left over for the rest of my recruits to work with. Gonna teach them some of what I'm teaching you today."

They walked over to the cloth covered behemoth of a dummy and Tapout removed the cloth.

Bumblebee didn't falter when he stared into the huge painted red optic that stared down at him. It was a life size practice dummy, made of mostly drone parts stuffed with foam, the head a sheet metal cut-out with Shockwave's face painted on.

Despite the fact he knew it wasn't real, he had to force himself not to automatically go into panic mode. Even the suggestion of Shockwave's presence was hard to deal with, but he could feel what Tapout meant. Traces of the Euphoria chip were physically blocking memory recall, making it a lot easier to calm himself.

Bumblebee cycled a deep ventilation and felt every cable in his frame tense. "I… can't make any promises. So, what's the best way to beat the slag out of him?"

Prowl had strolled the perimeter of the dojo's grounds when he got there, letting his processor wander.

His thoughts kept returning to the night before. To the way Bumblebee had looked at him.
Even though it sent a happy tingle through his spark, other thoughts nagged at the back of his mind.

Why had it been last night? What had triggered it? Wasn't it too soon? Did Bumblebee feel obliged because of everything he'd done for him? Was there something else that had driven his decision?

Maybe Bumblebee was just returning to his more normal levels of libido? He really didn't know what those had been like before his ordeal. And to be fair, the smaller mech had not faltered in his enthusiasm. None of it had felt forced.

And yet…

Prowl couldn't help but feel like it meant something was wrong, even though it had felt so right.

He'd have to talk more with Bumblebee about it when he got back. They'd had a cube together in the refectory before the scout had needed to leave for his morning start session with Tapout.

It was going to be a long one apparently, and Prowl had plenty to get on with while he was busy.

He'd spent most of the morning getting extra recharge while the scout was occupied. Once awake, he'd comm'd Jazz to see if he needed assistance. When the other ninja bot had declined (Saying something about Sentinel giving him the run-around all morning), Prowl had decided to head out to the dojo.

Warpath was not there today, probably still out enjoying what time he had with Flareup. So Prowl found his favourite old magna-sweeper and did some cleaning in his stead.

He could almost pretend nothing had changed, wandering the halls and methodically cleaning away the minute traces of metallic dust.

It was just like it had been when he'd been a pupil. He almost expected to turn a corner and find Yoketron inspecting his work.

It caused a very acute kind of ache in his spark to remember he was gone, and the state the place had been in when he'd found him.

Thinking on it made him wonder if anyone had actually fixed up the protoform chamber. He wasn't the only cyber-ninja who could perform processor over matter. So others could get into that chamber if need be. But had they bothered, when there were no more protoforms left for it to guard?

Prowl sighed and put the magna-sweep away, wandering into the room filled with the holo-busts of the greatest masters of their craft.

He stared at the chamber door, undecided. Did he really want to see? Did he need to remind himself of the duty he would never fulfil? Or re-live the last moments of Yoketron's life, and his horrible mistake in wasting a precious frame trying to revive his master?

The black and gold mech spent several moments of indecision staring at the door before he decided to sit, arranging himself in a lotus position. He offlined his optics, steadying his ventilations to centre himself, centre his energy, and meditate on what he should do.

Relaxing, Prowl let the energy flow freely from him and outward. He needed guidance. The same way he had when he'd sought to understand his feelings for Bumblebee, he looked inward.

The terrain of his mind was still fresh, changed by his experiences with the other mech, but it was not so tumultuous. He felt secure in the knowledge that Bumblebee felt for him. Truly, deeply. Prowl had never let anyone in as far as he had Bumblebee.

And the smaller mech had not betrayed the vulnerability Prowl had presented to him, but offered understanding. Even as snarly and harsh as they had been to one another before everything had gone to the pit, he'd felt Bumblebee's true nature in his spark. He knew the scout would not have hurt him if none of it had happened and he'd opened up.

Understanding and tolerance was all that had separated them before, and neither had given much thought to breaking it down until something had forced them to.

Prowl knew there was a lesson to be learnt in that. Knew it as though Yoketron was standing beside him and asking him to see it for what it was.

Yoketron.

The only other mech he felt had been so close to him. Even as much as he revealed to Jazz when they were alone, they had not had the time together to build the same sort of kinship he had built with Yoketron.

His master had looked at him and seen beyond his attitude, his snarking, his bravado. He'd seen the damage and sought to repair it.

And he had, Prowl thought. Yoketron had healed him by bringing him understanding of himself through discipline and meditation… through the methods he was at this very moment employing to try and find the right path.

He set me on this path without telling me where it ended. What am I searching for? My calling? A means to achieving my duty? My place in the universe?

Well, he knew what his place was in the universe, it was beside Bumblebee-

Prowl's train of thought ground to a halt.

He lingered on that thought, as if it were exploding through his mind in slow motion.

I know what I want… I want to be beside him, wherever he is. If that wasn't my purpose, then the universe would not have brought me to Optimus and the others. All of the progress I have made, I've made with them. BECAUSE of them.

I know who I am with them… with Bumblebee.

Prowl took deep, steadying ventilations, onlining his optics to stare unseeingly at the door before him.

What if that was it? What if that had been his optics quest? To discover who he was through others and become realised.

Bumblebee was the reason he had mastered his final skill. Processor over matter…

But it was more than that. He'd discovered things about himself through Bumblebee he otherwise never would have known. The depth to which he could care for another, what he was willing to do to keep those he loved alive, the lengths he would go to in order to heal them.

That was his quest. He hadn't abandoned it, or put it off, like he'd thought. He'd been continuing with it all along. And now here he was, returned and realised, fully capable of the duty he'd been trained for…

But…

There were no more protoforms to care for. Were there?

Prowl stood, centring himself once more, sizing up the door that had once been such an intimidating barrier.

He started a low hum, focussing his mind, and his spark, and tuning into the energies around him again.

A few fluid movements later, and the door slid out of the way without any resistance. The blue orb at its centre rising to set in the ceiling, clicking into place without hesitation. He smiled faintly. It was laughable how easy it felt now, to open that door.

Prowl strode forward onto the gangway that suspended over the cylindrical chamber. The room had been repaired, fully. It was pristine, untouched by any of the metallic dust that swirled and settled through the dojo regularly.

Looking over the edge, he couldn't see any lights indicating filled pods. But something… something nagged at him. Something told him he needed to go down and check, to be absolutely sure.

Others must have done this before, he knew it. But he still needed to check, for his own peace-of-mind.

Prowl found the access ladder that was built into the wall at the edge of the gangway, by the door, and climbed down. It was a much deeper pit than he realised, but he still couldn't see any lit pods.

The nagging feeling remained though, so when he reached the floor, he sat at its centre and took up his meditating position again.

Something was definitely not right. Something was drawing him deeper, yet there was nowhere else to go.

Prowl started up a low hum, reaching out with his energy to the walls around him, mapping them and seeking anything that was ever so slightly different.

And then he found it.

The black and gold bot canted his helm, adjusting his pitch and probing the anomaly. There was more here than he could see with his optics.

Prowl kept them offline, standing and moving towards the anomaly. A servo outstretched, he felt the smooth glass-steel of a pod, and sought the latch, opening it.

He tilted his helm again, modulating his frequency and placing a palm flat to the back of the empty vessel.

When he found the tone that made it tremble under his hand, Prowl pushed his energy against it. The panel yielded, sliding back and away. Other parts of the pod split and shifted, and Prowl finally opened his optics.

Where there had been a pod was now a doorway. He stepped through it.

Sensors detected his movement, and lights blazed on.

Prowl felt his spark swell fit to bursting.

Before him lay a corridor lined with pods. As long as the chamber was deep. And every pod held a protoform.

He had to tell someone.

Before he even finished the thought, he was pinging Bumblebee's comm.

It was storming outside. The boring kind of storm, with smoggy clouds hanging low over the city and lightning crackling across them.

Bumblebee preferred Earth storms. With all the rain and wind and the wet roads he could drift across. Plus, as Jazz had pointed out when he'd first experienced one… they were like free carwashes.

He sighed softly to himself. They were supposed to be going back to earth in about two weeks. Which on Cybertron was something like an orn and a half. He still hated doing the conversions. But there were no guarantees, since he needed to stay until Rung saw fit to let him go.

At least some things were no different between the two planets. Bumblebee was once again stuck in traffic heading through the middle of Iacon. He'd had a cryptic sort of comm from Prowl in which the black and gold mech had sounded very excited.

WEIRDLY excited in fact, Bumblebee couldn't ever remember him being so mysterious about something good happening. So now he was on his way out to the dojo for the first time to see what it was the ninja-bot had come across.

The scout's thoughts turned introspectively to memories of last night and his engine purred. Traffic was something he didn't miss, but at least he had nice memories now to distract himself with.

He was starting to wonder if he could jump Prowl's struts again like that without the help of the Euphoria when something broke him from his daydream.

The bot ahead of him on the road, a large industrial type like Bulkhead, transformed and looked upwards, his friend beside him doing the same and making confused and worried exclamations.

A shiver of cold fear passed through Bumblebee as he followed their lead and transformed, afraid he'd find Shockwave had hijacked the media network again.

But looking around, all the vis-screens and billboards still held their regular propaganda from Sentinel. Confused, Bumblebee looked up to where the larger bot was pointing, and gasped.

"Omega?... What in the fragging-"

/Bumblebee, do you read me?/

The scout blinked, momentarily stunned. Was this really happening? Was he seeing Omega Supreme floating over Iacon and hearing Ratchet on his comm, or had the Euphoria sent him on a trip way wilder than Tapout had told him it would?

/Bumblebee come in! Where are you?/

/Ratchet? Seriously? Is that you?/

He wandered off the road and over to the side of the overpass he was stuck on, leaning on the railing.

/Yeah kid it's me, no time to explain how I got here, you just gotta- ACK! You gotta listen/

/Ratch are you okay? What's going on? I can see Omega floating over the city-/

/I know I know, listen Bee I don't have much time. Shockwave is here. He's trying to get to Arcee, I'm at the Cybertron central infirmary. You gotta stay the HELL away from here, understand?/

Bumblebee felt his ventilations catch and his spark seemed to contract in his chestplates. Even as he stared at Omega drifting in and out of the lower clouds of smog, he didn't really see him anymore.

/Bee are you hearing me?/

/Yeah, Ratch, I heard you, but-/

/Stay away from here! Whatever you do, I don't want you- GRAH! He's here for Arcee, not you, don't make yourself a target/

/But what about you?/

/I'm fine kid just promise me you'll keep yourself sa-/

The line cut in a hiss of static, leaving Bumblebee with a horrible cold dread sitting in the bottom of his tank and his spark racing.

Shockwave at the main infirmary…

That was right next to where he had his sessions with Rung. If he'd had one today…

Horrible realisation dawned on Bumblebee that Ratchet was fighting Shockwave ALONE. Because if he wasn't, there would be alarms, there would be warnings broadcast that the Decepticon spy had surfaced. The guard would be racing across the city from their checkpoints to converge on him, but they weren't.

Through the mess of fear and confusion one thought rose clearly in Bumblebee's mind. Ratchet was in danger, and he needed help. No matter what he said, he couldn't fight Shockwave alone.

Bumblebee turned on his heel and took off running, jumping and sliding across the hood of someone in alt mode to get to the other side of the highway, ignoring their affronted yelling.

Traffic in the other direction was flowing steadily, and he transformed down, engaging his boosters and taking off.

Dodging traffic was second nature to him by now, with all the practice he'd gotten around humans.

Cries of shock and indignation from the bots he swerved around dropped away almost faster than he could hear them.

He had to jump the curb in several places, bots on pede making over-the-top horrified noises as he came nowhere near them before swerving away again.

Bumblebee didn't care. He had one objective.

Get to the infirmary.

Help Ratchet.

Make sure Shockwave didn't get a chance to do to the medic what he'd done to him.

Ratchet was thrown through the door. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of being thrown through walls, but he recovered his wits as quickly as possible.

Shockwave didn't seem as intent on him as he did something else in the room. The medic scrambled to get up, but Shockwave just strode past him dismissively.

"Well, if it isn't my old boss. Perhaps I should finish what I started."

Ratchet took a moment to realise what he was seeing, but as Shockwave raised the Magnus hammer above his head, gathering charge, he recognised Ultra Magnus on the mediberth.

Working on instinct more than anything, Ratchet transformed out his EMP on one arm, and magna-clamps on the other. One quick, intense pulse shorted out the hammer's charge. And before Shockwave could react, a magnetic field was wrenching it from his grip. The hammer flew from the Decepticon's claws and straight into Ratchet's grasp.

There was an astrosecond of the two of them staring at one another before Ratchet swung with all his might at the Decepticon.

He'd misjudged the weight in full swing, and it slipped from his grasp, thankfully at least slamming straight into Shockwave's chest.

The towering con was thrown across the room and through a wall by the force of it. Ratchet ran after him, but missed the tell-tale cracking sounds until it was too late.

Before he could pursue through the hole in the wall, half of it came crumbling down on top of him.

Bumblebee heard and half saw the loud boom as the building came into sight. The elevated roadway he was on swept around the perimeter of the infirmary, giving him a view of most of it.

He could see even as he drove, the hulking form of Shockwave standing from the rubble of the demolished wall he'd come crashing through.

Bumblebee didn't have time to pay attention to the tank-wrenching fear the sight of the mech caused. He was too busy judging how to get down to the courtyard the Decepticon had been thrown into.

Ahead there was a sharp bend where the highway curved around the infirmary building.

Bumblebee sped up.

Closer, he spotted the red and white of Ratchet's paint in the clearing dust of the demolished wall.

His spark contracted again.

Shockwave was moving back towards his fallen comrade…

The sharp turn was coming.

Bumblebee swerved around a larger bot who swore at him.

He kicked his axles at an angle and bounced off the road, clipping the railing as he soared over it and transformed.

The swerving and skidding of tyres had distracted Shockwave, who turned in time to see a blurr of black, yellow and gold come flying towards him.

A pede connected with his face, and Shockwave cried out as he felt his optic lense crack from the impact.

The blur of a bot latched onto his head, grasping his antennae and laying into him with fists and pedes alike.

Shockwave forgot about the Magnus hammer, retrieved and clutched in one servo, and began flailing aimlessly in response to the assault.

He heard the sound of transformation and cried out in pain again as a stinger was rammed into the joint between neck and torso and discharged.

The clawed servo not holding the hammer swung around, groping blindly for his assailant. He managed to grab something and tugged. The small bot was dislodged with some difficulty, and thrown from him without ceremony. They rolled on impact and sprang to their pedes, but did not advance again.

The electricity blazing through Shockwave's lines had made it impossible to think logically, but once the problem was removed, he was able to take stock. His optic was still functional, but less than optimal. His vision was slightly split levelled. He would cope, the objective was too close now to worry about such things.

His helm was aching from the onslaught of electrical current, but otherwise he had not suffered more than a massive blow to his ego.

The huge mech focussed on his attacker, grasping the Magnus hammer and raising it threateningly as he drew back to full height.

"Do I know you, whelp?"

The mech was small, darkly coloured, crouching several meters away in a ready stance and looking very much like they intended to fight him.

He laughed, dark and mirthless.

"You honestly think you're a match for me? You may have gotten the drop on me autobot, but that is where your luck ends. Do you think to make an example out of yourself like that foolish hero of yours?"

The bot's optics were fixed on his, pale and blazing.

It took the scout an astrosecond to realise…

He doesn't know who I am…

There was no hesitation involved. No wondering if anonymity was safer.

Bumblebee raised a servo to his black helm, poked his digits under the jaw, and a moment later the black and gold shifted to a much more familiar colour and pattern.

Shockwave's optic flared with shock and anger.

"You!"

"Me." Bumblebee snarled, optics narrowing in a glare.

A shudder of rage and disgust passed over Bumblebee's spark as Shockwave threw his head back and laughed. It wasn't bad enough he didn't recognise him without the right colours, now he wanted to laugh in his face? The anger that boiled up in the scout's tank overrode the clenching fear that seeing the red optic sent through him. Memory after memory was ruthlessly suppressed.

Focus… FOCUS, he's too dangerous to underestimate, you're here to keep Ratchet safe, you can't afford to lose this time…

"I should have known! I should have known the moment your medic tried to stop me that you'd come running, pitiful FOOLS the lot of you! You think you can stop me? Or are you here to fulfil that death wish I imparted to you? Perhaps you'd prefer if I visited it upon the old bot, he's already halfway into the scrapheap!"

"You're not going to touch him." Bumblebee snarled, transforming out his stingers.

Shockwave's optic fixed on him again, cracked and streaming energon down his black, featureless face. The look was so intense and unnerving, Bumblebee wondered for a moment if Shockwave had become unhinged somehow.

"And you think you'll be the one to stop me? Ooooh, I would LOVE to see you try. By all means, give me an excuse to humiliate you even further in front of the Cybertronian masses."

Shockwave moved fast, lunging forward as he drew back the Magnus hammer, claws reaching out.

Bumblebee suppressed the fear that threatened to root him to the spot and let his instinct take over. Deja-vu was making his head spin, he was doing it again, just like the first time... but he couldn't lose his head. He had to do this right. It wasn't five Decepticons this time, it was one, he had training now, he could NOT afford to fail.

This time there wouldn't be a capture if he failed. This time he'd be dead. He was never more grateful for the residual calming effect of the euphoria than this very moment. Not to mention Prowl and Tap Out's training.

He rolled under the outstretched arm and slashed the edge of a stinger against the side of Shockwave's knee, throwing sparks.

The con snarled, shifting his leg and his weight, bringing the hammer around to swing low.

Bumblebee was in too close for the mallet part to be a danger, but the handle was still a problem, and he sprung upwards, vaulting it and firing a bolt of electricity under the larger bot's left arm, into Shockwave's exposed side.

Shockwave jerked and recoiled slightly, swinging the hammer back the other way with the force of both servos, mallet lined up to slam the sub-compact.

But Bumblebee was ready, all senses trained on every motion the huge mech made, processor lining up each move in response. He vaulted it again and repeated his last attack, firing at the exposed under-arm on Shockwave's other side.

Shockwave gave an enraged snarl and swung his arm out to backhand the scout.

Bumblebee leapt forward between the larger mech's legs and transformed, gunning forward and swerving in a tight circle, drifting to sideswipe into the leg not holding most of the behemoth's weight.

It gave way enough for Shockwave to go down on that knee, and Bumblebee was on him in a sparkbeat.

Transforming, he scaled the Decepticon's back and grasped the antennae again like handlebars. He began to kick furiously at the back of Shockwave's head, the huge mech bellowing in rage more than pain.

Disorientated, Shockwave staggered to his pedes, stumbling backwards before he got his balance and groped over his head with a claw once more.

By the time he managed to grab the bot squirming away from his clutches, Bumblebee had landed a kick so vicious that one of his antennae snapped off.

His claws found purchase at last and he ripped the sub-compact off his head by the yellow bot's backpack. This time though, he did not release him, instead whipping his arm around, extending it and slamming the scout into the nearest wall.

There was a satisfying cry of pain, accompanied by the sound of cracking glass and metal. Shockwave let him go, the sub-compact falling to the ground hard.

But when Bumblebee hit the ground, he did not slump. He rolled, transforming again and tearing off to run laps around Shockwave. For his part, Bumblebee was still fighting off the memory clawing at the edges of his mind… You're not in that cell, you're outside, CONCENTRATE!

Incensed and aggravated at how long it was taking to squash the persistent bug, Shockwave raised the hammer once more and attempted to bring it down on the sub-compact as he tore around him. It still hadn't recharged enough to gather electricity in a full thunderbolt attack, but it still functioned perfectly as a bludgeon.

But the smaller bot was far too fast, dodging the mallet with ease, driving at his leg and swerving away again, taunting him.

Shockwave snarled, lifting the hammer in one arm and drawing it back again, ready to extend his arm if the sub-compact tried to swerve further away from the swing radius.

When he brought it bear, expecting a head on collision, Bumblebee did not swerve.

He transformed, leaping the hammer and drawing his own arm back. He caught onto the black extendable plating of Shockwave's arm as it swung and drove his stinger into the elbow, discharging it viciously.

The Decepticon cried out, arm spasming, losing grip of the hammer while he was still mid-swing. It went flying into the wall beside the rubble of the one he'd gone through.

Bumblebee didn't pause in his assault, leaping up to climb the arm and get towards Shockwave's head again, the larger mech too stunned and slow in his reaction to catch him in his other claw. Bumblebee let out a feral snarl of rage as he slammed a fist into the side of Shockwave's face, feeling a satisfying crunch of metal denting along what he supposed counted as his jaw.

The grasping claw of Shockwave's left arm still chased him, even as the mech roared in pain and staggered. Bumblebee scrambled around Shockwave's back, transforming his left servo into a stinger and finding any armour gap he could to jam it in and send shocks through the behemoth's systems.

The decepticon twitched and flailed, bellowing as he extended both claws to try and catch him, but Bumblebee swung from the barrel of the gun that sat on Shockwave's back, kicking out at the huge forearms to block them.

Bumblebee hauled himself up as the claws came crashing together to try and catch him. He prepared to attack the next weak spot he could find that would help to partly immobilise the mech. If he could jam a stinger into a shoulder joint, he might be able to fry the relays to that arm with enough juice.

But Shockwave had had enough.

Steadying himself, he calculated Bumblebee's location on his frame, retracting his arms. Before the scout could make his next move, Shockwave increased his height through rapid leg extension, feeling the smaller mech falter and grab for his shoulder. He lifted his right arm and leant his helm to the side, extending in a sucker-punch and hitting Bumblebee in the side, sending him flying.

Bumblebee was stunned, but fell back on instinct. He rolled with the motion when he hit the ground and got to his pedes, but Shockwave bore down on him, using his abilities to the fullest of their extent.

His leg swung, catching Bumblebee as he tried to vault it. Before he could right himself, a clawed servo was shot out at him, grasping him by the legs and swinging him like a ragdoll.

Shockwave swung him through the air, slamming him between one wall and then another before he let him drop.

STILL the sub-compact tried to evade, scrambling to his pedes and lashing out with a stinger at the leg which kicked out at him.

Shockwave withdrew it, but snaked out both arms, one striking down, making the scout dodge. Right into the path of his other servo, which latched around his chest, lifted him, and slammed him to the ground on his back.

Bumblebee gasped through his vents, crying out as the servo lifted just long enough to slam back into him, claws first. Two pierced his shoulders, the third had gone straight into his midriff, below the shattered line of his lower windshield. The cry that drew from the small mech was almost intoxicating to Shockwave.

Bumblebee was filled with rage and terror, but he wasn't yet prepared to admit defeat, even in this position… but the fear was quickly overcoming the fury, turning his energon to ice and locking his joints. He'd been here before… not again, NEVER again, NO…

There was immense pressure on his chestplates, and it increased as Shockwave bore down on him, crouching, leaning his full weight to crush him.

Bumblebee choked down the cries of pain he wanted to utter, staring into that cold, cracked optic as it dripped energon onto him. He wanted to fight, wanted to lash out and smash the orb completely, blind Shockwave and make him withdraw… but the memories…

The crushing pressure over his spark felt like a vice on his motor controls and that red optic looming over him… the darkness of that cell, the cold, the agony… It was happening again. He was failing again, history was repeating itself and he'd run straight into it…

"It's time to end this charade. I should have killed you this way the first time."

Shockwave leant more of his weight, and Bumblebee was filled with panic as the metal gave way a little more.

Shockwave intended to crush the life out of him, literally.

Something in Bumblebee seemed to surge against the panic, the fear, the memories...

No… no it's not the same, I'm stronger, I can FIGHT, I've come too far, I have too much to live for now, I can't let him win, I WON'T.

In the clarity brought on by impending death, his mind sought ways out, piercing through the vice of pain and terror. Everything had narrowed down to that piercing red optic again, but this time... this time it was broken, and HE was whole…

Fight, fight dirty, find weak spots, exploit them!

Shockwave's torso was exposed to him, and well within striking range as he leant closer. There were gaps, small vents, under the rim of his chestplates.

With what strength he could muster, Bumblebee transformed his servos to stingers again, stared directly into the hovering red orb, and rammed them into the gaps. He spat the energon that had pooled in his mouth from being slammed into walls right into Shockwave's face.

"FRAG you!"

He then proceeded to unload every single volt he had in him straight into Shockwave's chassis. His spark blazed in his chest with defiant anger equal to the pressure crushing him, burning with all the pent up rage and anguish Shockwave had put there.

Shockwave screeched in agony, the shock getting past his outer plating through contact with internals in the gaps. The fire of Bumblebee's fury coursed through him and straight to his core.

Bumblebee felt his spark on fire from the effort of pouring so much energy into his stingers, but he couldn't stop… he wouldn't. He wanted to HURT Shockwave, and if it hurt him too then so be it. He was beyond logic, processor focussed only on keeping up the flow of electricity as long as he possibly could. He was going to WIN this time. He HAD to. And he wanted Shockwave to feel what he'd done… to know what it was like on the receiving end, to get every OUNCE of the pain he'd caused back.

Shockwave was paralysed by the force of the current, frame jerking, vision whited out to static.

Bumblebee felt as if his spark might explode, and he knew he had to stop, knew he'd black out from the pressure and the pain if he didn't stop, could feel the darkness creeping up on the corners of his processor…

Figuring out what to do was a choice he never had to make, because something came swinging in from the left and Shockwave went flying, claws wrenched from Bumblebee at the same time his stingers were wrenched from the Decepticon's chest.

There was the distinct smell of burnt circuitry and energon, and Bumblebee was sure through his hazy vision that he could see smoke coming off his arms and stingers.

He gasped air through his vents as if drowning, spark quailing in his chestplates from the strain he'd put on it, and suddenly Ratchet was there, looming over him and yelling something.

He didn't quite catch it, but he gathered the gist of it was something about 'what the ever loving slag are you doing'.

"Couldn't… couldn't leave you… fight him alone… couldn't"

Bumblebee panted, voice raspy. He hadn't even realised he'd been screaming at Shockwave the whole time he'd been electrocuting him.

Staying online was a struggle, but he forced his systems to obey as he became aware of Ratchet frantically removing his chest armour and trying to stem the energon leaks where Shockwave's claws had pierced into him.

"Like slag you couldn't, I didn't tell you where I was so you'd come running HERE! That was the LAST thing I wanted! What were you THINKING taking him on alone? He nearly killed you! AGAIN!"

"Where'dego?" Bee tried to turn his head but it ached like pit and his vision kept going in and out of focus.

"He went face first into the wall from me slamming him with the Magnus hammer, that's where. Now I gotta try and stop YOU bleeding out, hold still."

Staying conscious proved to be quite an effort, even though he was sure his glitch was doing its best… his frame felt like lead, he realised he couldn't feel his servos or pedes. His spark oscillation was out of sync, struggling to find a stable frequency… maybe he'd already gone too far with the electricity… but Ratchet was here… Ratchet could fix it…

Bumblebee reset his optics to try and clear the focussing issue, noticing several critical damage warnings on his HUD, but feeling more concerned about the ringing in his audials and the fuzzy shape flying overhead he couldn't identify.

Which reminded him of the other MASSIVE shape he COULD identify.

He looked past Ratchet's helm at the gigantic mech which had once been their ship, still looming in the sky almost directly above them now.

Another movement caught his optic and he jerked, making Ratchet swear.

"Damnit Bumblebee I said hold-"

"He'sgoter!"

His vocaliser didn't want to form the words properly, and his arm flopped rather uselessly, feeling too heavy for him to reach out and point.

Ratchet seemed to get the gist of the motion and turned enough to see Shockwave lurching from the building, Arcee in his arms.

The expression on the medic's face was torn. The scout's systems would go critical if he didn't fix the pressure damage around the spark casing, but if the Decepticons got those codes… and he shuddered to think how they would…

Ratchet's decision was made for him when he failed to respond immediately, and Shockwave stared at them threateningly, as if goading them. He took off, jetting towards the ship on thrusters neither of them knew he had, taking Arcee with him.

Ratchet wrenched his optics away as if it caused him physical pain, continuing to work on Bumblebee, who made a strangled noise of frustration.

"What'reydoin, he's gettnaway!"

"I can't go after them now… "

"Use y'r magnets y'can getem from here-"

"Bee if I don't get this crushed metal off your pump and main energon outlet you're gonna go offline. I CAN'T do anything about them…"

The scout mouthed wordlessly, still struggling to stay awake as much as to think straight.

But he knew that it was his fault. The Decepticons now had something they needed, they were at a disadvantage, and it was his fault.

Before he could wallow in shame, a blue and yellow blurr jumped out of the hole in the wall, watching the decepticon disappear upwards.

"That… that was Shockwave!"

"Yeah, and he's got Arcee." Ratchet added anxiously, drawing Sentinel's attention to him. "If he can get those activation codes out of her-"

The Prime didn't hesitate to cut Ratchet off, shouting into his own comm link.

"Jetfire, Jetstorm, open fire! Take down Omega Supreme!"

"WHAT? YOU'LL BLOW US UP WITH HIM!"

Ratchet was yelling over his shoulder even as his hands remained plunged into Bumblebee's internals, tugging plating up out of his chest cavity until his pump began functioning properly again.

"This is why I hate machines."

Bumblebee would have thought once again he was still on some weird drug induced trip hearing Fanzone's voice, if it wasn't for the throbbing pain in his spark and head telling him otherwise.

The police chief had emerged from the building rubble and glared at Sentinel. "CERTAIN machines more than others".

Bumblebee felt the crackle of energy in the atmosphere and heard the thrum of the massive weapon atop Fortress Maximus powering up. He saw a streak of light cross the sky, and he felt his vents stop, but before it made contact…

Omega Supreme was gone in a flash of blue light, transwarping clear and leaving the streak of laser cannon fire to pierce through the smog and dissipate in the upper atmosphere.

Bumblebee would have wondered what Fanzone was doing there if his processor wasn't still stuck on the fact that the Decepticons might now have a massive weapon at their command. That and the guilt he felt over being the reason Ratchet couldn't stop Shockwave taking Arcee. Also the fact they had all just been a micromechanometer away from death thanks to Sentinel.

Plus he was struggling harder every astrosecond to remain awake.

There was the sound of several pedefalls, and two faces appeared, one he recognised (even though it was blurry), the other unknown. First Aid began speaking rapidly to Ratchet, and Bumblebee couldn't follow the conversation.

Somewhere behind them Sentinel was yelling into his comm again, while the unknown medibot who'd come with First Aid laid something out next to him, which he thought might be a stretcher.

The scout's vision got blurrier, HUD informing him that stasis lock was imminent. Something came close enough to his head that he could make it out, and he blinked at Fanzone as the human flicked his forehead.

"Makin' a bit of a habit outta this, aintcha?"

Someone plugged into a medical access port, and before Bumblebee could figure out who or respond to Fanzone, he was forcibly shut down.

He wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that the bot he woke up to was Rung.

He was in the room with the machine that helped him recharge, and he had a processor ache that suggested he'd been hooked up to it. Far too long for his liking, according to his chronometer and the surreal here-but-not-here feeling he had. Three day cycles was WAY too long, not to mention a tiny bit alarming.

The expression on the psychotherapists face was kind, but Bumblebee was pretty sure he'd be getting whatever Rung's version of a telling-off was.

To stall, he inspected himself, feeling around the areas where Shockwave's claws had gone into him. He couldn't actually crane his neck to look, since trying made his processor ache worse.

"FirstAid and Ratchet did a very good job getting you put to rights. Here at least there's the benefit of all the medical mod cons and advances. Most of it ended up being simple panel beating though."

"Ah. That's… good."

The scout didn't quite meet Rung's gaze, fiddling with the weld where a claw had plunged into his chest. Just the memory of it made him wince, even though the wound was all but gone.

"I'm assuming you got the chip from Tap Out?"

Bumblebee's processor stalled a moment before he felt heat rise to his faceplates, optics flicking to Rung's and away again. Oh slaggit all he'd left the chip in…

"Please don't think I'm judging you, I'm mostly just concerned that he still uses them. And that I have been failing you to the point where you also turned to such a drastic measure."

"He's not going to get in trouble is he?"

Bumblebee finally looked at Rung properly, feeling like an idiot for not taking the chip out the moment he'd woken up. The orange and cream bot still looked more disappointed than angry.

"Not with the authorities. I've scheduled him in for more sessions, since I feel he has still not completed the healing process himself. He did tell me that he was very clear with you about when to use it. I still don't feel he should be offering it to others, but again, if you felt the need to take it, then I am not providing enough support for you in terms of recharge solutions. I do need you to tell me about the problem in order for me to fix it though."

His tone was very understanding, and Bumblebee felt the heat of shame in his faceplates again.

"You've done everything you can do though. So has Prowl, it's not either of your fault I… I don't like imposing on Prowl, and I hate the way this machine thing makes me feel like my spark and frame are completely out of sync. I mean… what other way IS there?"

Rung sighed softly. "Not many, at least, not many proven ones. But there are some more experimental options I could be offering you. I thought you were comfortable with the current arrangement, but evidently not."

There was a slightly awkward silence between them as Bumblebee averted his gaze again and continued to run a servo over the weld lines on his midriff. His processor was still trying to avoid the shame clenching in his tanks by thinking about the logistics of Rung finding out. Which brought up another question.

"Uh. So… who else knows? About the chip? I'm guessing you're not the one who actually found it." The scout murmured sheepishly.

Rung folded his servos in his lap and drew a long sigh, which didn't really give Bumblebee much confidence in the answer.

"No, I didn't. FirstAid did. Ratchet was present. As was Ambulon… and Prowl. Ratchet contacted him the moment you were stable and informed him what happened. He was… in a bit of a state at that point, he'd emerged from the dojo, seen Omega Supreme hanging over the city, and raced here when he couldn't reach your comm."

Bumblebee felt his tank drop even as he lay still. Rung seemed to know what he was thinking, but he voiced the thoughts anyway.

"He confided with me after they found the chip… about what the two of you did last night. He seems to be under the impression you took drugs to make yourself more able to 'perform' for him. I did tell him that I doubted that was the reason, but you're going to have to be the one to put his mind at ease on that. Assuming he IS wrong?"

"Of course he is, slag, I didn't know it was going to happen when I took it. I just wanted to recharge with him not… y'know… not that that bit wasn't good…" He murmured, faceplate even hotter than before from embarrassment. He was starting to wish he could just melt straight through the berth from the force of it, even though the berth felt like it wasn't quite real.

"Good. I don't recommend drugs as a means to achieving that goal either, however it's not necessarily a detrimental thing for your overall progress." Rung tilted his head, fingers lacing together in his lap. "It's honestly not what I'm most concerned with in terms of your progress. That…. That would be the fact you managed to face down Shockwave, of all mechs."

Bumblebee winced slightly at the name, but he looked at Rung again, surprised to find a kind of awe in the psycotherapists optics.

"…It's not that weird is it? Listen, I know Ratchet is gonna be mad about it but I COULDN'T just stay away when he was fighting him alone, even though he told me not to… He should know by now if I'm gonna face down five 'Cons like an idiot with no training, then I'm gonna face down ONE when I've actually got some help-"

"But Shockwave? Bumblebee you and I both know he's not just any old Decepticon, when it comes to the both of you… after what he's done… the things he made you recall only recently, I know you're still nowhere near processing what he inflicted on you, and yet you came here KNOWING what you were facing. Knowing full well the risks and consequences and EVERYTHING that went with them and STILL…"

Rung mouthed at him, head shaking slightly and gaze rather intense. Bumblebee felt slightly unnerved by it.

"Yeah but… I mean, the chip would still have been blocking most of that, right? I didn't think about that stuff as much, I just… didn't want him to kill Ratchet because I knew he wouldn't hesitate. Plus, y'know, I don't learn. After everything, I did the same slag I always have and ran right into the firing line because… it was Ratchet. He's… y'know. Family I guess."

It was hard to make a connection to all the fear and anger and the struggle keeping it together that had been involved in the fight. His current emotions felt real, but his past ones felt detached, just like his frame did. Bee felt distinctly weird talking about all of this while flat on his back, and tried to pull himself upright, grunting at the throbbing pain in his head he got for his efforts.

A pair of servos was quickly helping him up, and he whuffed air out of his vents once he was sitting up against the angled portion at the head of the berth. The fact his body felt like it weighed twice as much didn't escape his notice either.

"Yes but… the effects of that chip wear off in the sense of blocking memories after about seven cycles. It was well beyond being effective by then. You facing him down without your memories locking you up… that was all you. And…. Possibly by the look on your face, something of a placebo effect." Rung gave him a weak smile as Bumblebee blanched at him.

"Wait so… but I didn't feel normal? I mean I was scared… I was terrified but I knew I couldn't let that take over because he was gonna kill me, and I'm NOT as weak as I was before, and… I was angry. I was SO angry at him, I WANTED to hurt him."

Bumblebee frowned, rubbing at his left temple to try and ease the ache and reconcile his physical self with his processor and spark.

"It seems then that your most effective motivators are familial protectiveness and unbridled rage. That does make a little more sense. Do you feel now as if you exacted a satisfying amount of revenge?"

Bumblebee grimaced, looking down at his pedes, which were their normal scuffed yellow and black, rather than his disguise colours.

"No. I feel like a screw up and an idiot. I might've saved Ratchet, but then he had to save MY dumb aft. And because he had to save my dumb aft, we lost Arcee, and the 'Cons… because of me the 'Cons might have a weapon effective enough to take back Cybertron."

The very thought sent a cold shiver of dread through his spark, and Rung's expression seemed to darken as well.

"If you hadn't shown up, Ratchet would be dead, and they would still have managed to kidnap Arcee. If it makes you feel any better, Arcee is one of my long-term patients. If I have not reached any part of her psyche in the several vorns she's spent here, I highly doubt the Decepticons will have much more luck. Especially not Shockwave, since you managed to disable a part of his arsenal… if only temporarily."

Bumblebee looked up at him, confused, and Rung reached over to a side table before presenting him with an odd, long, pointy pronged piece of metal.

The scout took it and frowned at it for a few moments before realising what it was.

"OH. But. Wait. How is this disabling him? It's just a weird audial protrusion isn't it?" He held the broken antenna out from him and gave it a look as though it were one of Sari's snotty tissues from when she caught a cold.

"Shockwave is possessed of advanced waveform manipulation technology. He utilises it with his unusually long antenna, he used to be well known as an interrogator in the Decepticons before he was a spy. He'd use those antennas to transmit bombardments of electro-waves into a victim's processor to scramble thoughts and firewalls. Without one of those Antennae, he can't produce those waves. Repairing it may take some time, so that's something."

The scout looked up at the once again serene orange and cream bot with incredulity.

"How the slag do you KNOW all that?"

"I do believe I've mentioned before how old I am. That and I've unfortunately had to treat more than one of his torture victims in my time. Many of them told me the same story during the war. Many more of them couldn't actually remember anything or speak properly because that technique had been used on them. Every one of those bots would cheer you on for inflicting that particular injury".

The scout blinked at him and looked back at the antenna, laying it back down on the side table.

"Honestly I don't… I don't know how I did it. I guess I just blinkered myself. Couldn't afford to think of the memories, keeping Ratchet safe was more important. Staying alive was more important. It uh… heh, it probably helped that my session with Tapout that morning involved beating up a life-size dummy of the slagger."

Rung raised his eyebrows slightly at that. "Yes, well, he told me about that too. Had I known I wouldn't have recommended it, but he tells me you had very little difficulty handling it. Unfortunately the real thing fights back."

Bumblebee nodded, grimacing slightly. Now he thought about it, he had no idea how he managed to push past the fact Shockwave had now speared him on his claws twice. But somehow thinking about facing him and physically fighting him had some sort of disconnect in his mind. But then that might be the machine induced dysphoria…

Even as terrifying as the mech was, and as sickeningly horrifying as the memories of what he'd done to him were… it hadn't made him freeze up. It seemed to have the opposite effect, in the end. The very thought of it happening again set Bumblebee's processor into overdrive and spark spinning high. He'd fight his way out of the possibility of it happening again or die trying.

While this wasn't necessarily a happy thought, it did make him feel somewhat liberated from the cage of fear that had wrapped itself around his mind.

Slag me… I fought that fragger… after everything he did, I FOUGHT him and I HURT him… and I'm still alive.

"Oh, I meant to mention something to you as well… before I tell you, I want to reassure you that your alternate paint scheme disguise is still intact. That wasn't caught by the camera. Most of your fight was though. The commotion attracted a news crew, their camera drone got some rather amazing angles. I wasn't sure if you wanted to see any of it, if not, you'll want to avoid watching any newscasts. The story and footage has been played nearly non-stop on some frequencies. Oh, and there is another recording that does show the whole thing, but it's from the hospital's security cameras. Those are private, no one has seen them who doesn't already know."

Bumblebee blinked at him. "Oh… OH. That's what that thing was I noticed hovering around after… ah. Yeah, I… don't think I really want to see it. I don't know… do you think I should?" He gave Rung an unsure look, wondering if maybe it would be better he desensitised himself to it before it was sprung on him unexpectedly later.

"Only if you feel it necessary. Sometimes watching your own actions from the sidelines can have more of an emotional impact than when you were committing the act that was recorded. If you're thinking you might as well get in before someone else inflicts it on you, then I'd give it at least a little bit of time and be in a secure, comfortable environment before you do."

The scout nodded, about to ask exactly what the newscasts had been saying about the fight when there was a knock on the room's door. A moment later it wooshed open and FirstAid's head popped around the corner.

"Oh good, you're online. You have some more visitors. And another on the way, but he says he'll be a while."

"Oh, uh, okay". Bumblebee blinked again. First Aid's head disappeared, and Bumblebee barely had time to greet the next bot who popped in, because they rushed at him and scooped him up in a bear-hug.

If there hadn't been lights flashing a myriad of colours in his vision he might've thought it was Bulkhead by the force alone. But Wheeljack was a rather distinct bot, even when he was a blurr.

"I can't believe you DID that why did you DO that were you TRYING to give me a spark attack? I get swamped with work and leave you alone for a week or two and you go and nearly KILL yourself again!"

"Hurk… sorry… but uh… ow… 'Jack can you uh-"

"OH! Sorrysorrysorry, I didn't upset your welds did I?" The green and white bot put him back on the berth gently, hands resting on his shoulders instead as he inspected him.

"No, s'fine, I just have one pit of a processor ache." Bee gave him a wincing sort of grin.

"Yeah, not surprising really. But otherwise, Aid says you're okay besides the major spark fatigue, he thinks you got off lightly considering?" Wheeljack straightened, optics and helm fins still shining with relief and a tinge of anxiety.

"Yeah, well… light compared to everything else." Bee murmured.

A voice Bumblebee didn't recognise piped up from behind Wheeljack, drawing his attention.
"I do hope you won't be making a habit of wrecking that frame. Parts aren't so expensive, but sparks are too precious these days, you can't replace those."

The scout straightened where he sat, feeling like he shouldn't slouch in Alpha Trion's presence but wincing and rubbing at his temple from the move.

"Sorry sir. I didn't mean to wreck the new parts, honestly." He mumbled sheepishly.

Trion waved his servo. "Ah, do not feel guilty young bot. You had a good reason, despite the poor timing and lack of assistance. The important thing is, you and Ratchet escaped with your lives. What I'm most curious about is how you and your team have managed without parts for so long. Given your tendency to run headlong into battle, I would have assumed you've required significant repairs before."

"Oh, well, yeah I guess… but we had Sari's key before, we WOULD have needed parts but she could fix us up in a few astroseconds. She kinda… absorbed it though, I guess? She used it to upgrade herself and now she just has crazy weird powers."

The elder mech gave him a rather puzzled look, while Wheeljack stood by his side nodding sagely.

"Yeah, cute kid Sari. Ratchet told me about the trouble you guys had when the Allspark energy sent her out of control. Never woulda thought someone that small could cause so much damage."

"Well I mean, it wasn't her fault, really-" Bee started, but he was cut off by Rung who piped up in interest.

"Did you say Allspark energy?"

The other three looked around at him, all slightly stunned since they'd forgotten he was there.

"Um… yeah? I didn't tell you about it before? Her key got charged by the Allspark before it broke into bits. She could do some pretty crazy stuff with it. Slag, she brought Optimus back from the well with it." The scout explained, tone suggesting he was still a little awed by the memory.

"That is… most certainly not a power to be taken lightly. And she used that key on you and your team mates to heal injuries?"

Bumblebee gave the intensely curious sounding psychotherapist a puzzled look, nodding.

"Yeah, but, like I said, she can't do it anymore. Since she absorbed the energy it's been working differently."

"Oh yes, I know, but that would explain it… I'm sorry, I didn't quite get to telling you, but First Aid discovered an anomaly in your spark. No need to be alarmed, it's a positive anomaly, he found a similar one in Ratchet and Prowl, it's possible your whole team has it. The lattices of your spark matrices are far more resilient and stronger than any other he's ever seen. I'm thinking there may be a connection to your exposure to direct Allspark energy and the changes. Yours in particular showed the highest increase in durability."

Bumblebee blinked at him, mouth slightly open, while Wheeljack cupped an elbow in one hand and tapped on his mask in thought with the other.

"Y'know, that makes a lot of sense… the kind of slag your spark has been through, I mean, plenty of other bots woulda snuffed. And you hang out with Sari more than anyone else on your team, figures she woulda used the key on you the most."

Bee nodded deftly, still trying to process the information. "Yeah… yeah she did, she used it to give me power boosts n' stuff too."

"First Aid will be very interested to know more about the nature of that key when he gets a moment to corner you." Rung grinned, making Bumblebee a little apprehensive even though he wasn't sure why. First Aid was nice, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be questioned and studied like a specimen.

"Uh… okay, but, he might be better off asking Ratchet. He's the one who did all the scans and stuff."

"What scans exactly did I take?"

Everyone in the room turned to the old medic's voice, just as surprised as they'd been when Rung spoke. Bumblebee wouldn't say it out loud, but he didn't know how he hadn't heard Ratchet coming. The bot's joints weren't exactly quiet.

His optics met Ratchet's and he quickly sobered up. Ooooh that was a bad look.

"Ah, hello Ratchet. I'm sorry I don't have any time to chat, we may have to catch up later. It was good to meet you, Bumblebee. I'm very glad to see you putting the frame to good use, despite the use being somewhat dangerous. Unfortunately, I have many duties to see to, I will have to bid you all farewell."

Bumblebee could have sworn Trion had just made an extremely polite exit to escape whatever wrath Ratchet was planning to unleash on him.

He gave the elder mech a subdued sort of wave as he left, before focussing reluctantly back on the medic standing at the foot of the berth with his servos planted firmly on his hips.

At least Rung and Wheeljack had stayed, he just hoped it was to support HIM rather than back Ratchet.

There was a tense silence for several astroseconds after Trion left before the red and white bot spoke.

"SO. Mind telling me what the SLAG you were thinking taking that Euphoria?"

Oooooh no don't use the disappointed voice on me. You normally yell why can't you just yell now I'm used to yelling.

Bumblebee fiddled with his servos in his lap, drawing in on himself slightly.

"I needed it to recharge. I swear that's all I wanted! I didn't know it would do other stuff…"

Ratchet let out a huff from his vents like a snorting bull and Bumblebee drew in on himself a little more.

"And the thought never occurred to you that you could ask PROFESSIONALS for help with that? You jumped straight to the illicit drugs? I KNOW that you know what that slag can do to a bot's processor."

"My processor wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders Ratch, it seemed like the easiest thing to do at the time… didn't seem as bad as the memory purges anyway." Bumblebee murmured, and Ratchet seemed to deflate slightly.

"I knew I shoulda come along and kept you outta trouble. If I didn't have to babysit all the fresh bots on Earth, I would have. You better promise me RIGHT NOW that you're never takin' that slag again, got it?"

The scout raised a servo and made a sign across his chest-plates. "Cross my spark". His other servo he had tucked against his thigh with his digits crossed, out of the medic's sight.

Ratchet huffed in a more amused way this time, grumbling. "Good. Already scraped you back together TWICE now, ain't gonna be able to do it again if you fry your mainframe. Anyway… I didn't just come here to lecture you."

Ratchet's tone grew especially gruff, and he shuffled over and hugged the smaller, apprehensive mech. After a moment, Bumblebee relaxed, having thought he was about to get a smack across the helm. A hug was definitely preferable, he was okay with a hug.

"Thankyou… for saving my life again."

"Anytime Ratch."

Ratchet drew back and Bumblebee yelped as he got a light thwap upside the helm.

"No, NOT anytime-"

"Frag it Ratch I've already GOT a processor ache the size of a-"

"Of COURSE you do, you overclocked your damn systems so hard your spark nearly went critical again! I said thank you, but what I meant was don't EVER let me catch you running off to fight that psychopathic cyclops ever again, you hear me?"

"Okay okay! Primus it's not like I wanted to, but you got yourself trapped under a wall!"

Wheeljack threw an amused look at Rung as he sidled over to him. The psychotherapist looked mildly concerned by the snippy conversation between the scout and medic.

"Don't worry about it doc. I know Ratchet well enough that he wouldn't be smacking his patients if he didn't think they could cope with it."

Rung shifted a little, still looking somewhat disapproving. "Yes, well… I'd still prefer a professional medic not be in the habit of hitting his patients, however familiar they are."

Ratchet seemed to have had an audio on the conversation behind him despite still reaming out Bumblebee. He turned a light glare on Rung and huffed, "You've got it easy. YOUR patients don't have a habit of deliberately trying to give you a spark attack. Sometimes a little percussive maintenance is the only thing that REALLY fixes these bots."

"Well, perhaps one of your patients should return the favour, since I believe you were the first to endanger yourself in this circumstance." Rung said rather primly, which made Ratchet huff even louder and Wheeljack chuckle.

"He DOES have you there Ratchet." Came a gruffly amused voice, making both Wheeljack and Rung jump, since neither had noticed Fanzone follow the medic in.

He hadn't felt this awkward in Prowl's presence since that moment in the corridor after their first merge. This time though, he was the one in the wrong, and he knew it. He could feel the mixture of anger, hurt, fear and disappointment in Prowl's field.

The black and gold mech was stood in the doorway, Bumblebee sitting on the medical berth, not meeting the other mech's visor, hands clenching against each other.

The silence stretched, heavy and unbearable. Even after he'd faced down the one thing that had terrified him for months, that had haunted every waking and resting moment… Bumblebee couldn't bring himself to face Prowl's expression.

Eventually, the ninja bot moved into the room and slowly sat in the chair Rung had occupied. Rung had abandoned him the moment Prowl had turned up, and Bee didn't blame him. This was not something he should be present for.

There was more silence, Bumblebee having no idea what to even say, waiting for Prowl's judgement… not so much of his stupidity running into battle as the fact he'd gone behind his back. It was all he could do, in the thick tension of the room, to not flinch when Prowl finally spoke.

"Please… please tell me you didn't take it because of me. Because you felt you needed to do that for me and couldn't have beared to otherwise."

Nothing had prepared him for the hurt in Prowl's voice. Finally, Bumblebee lifted his head and met the dimmed, saddened visor.

"No… no, Prowl, I did it because I didn't want you to have to-"

"Why didn't you just talk to me? I thought…" The hurt swelled in his gaze and he looked away from Bumblebee, head bowing. Bee felt his spark sink.

"I thought you trusted me enough to tell me… I never wanted you to… I knew, I KNEW something was wrong when it was happening, I should have stopped you-"

"I didn't do it for that! I just wanted to recharge without you having to work so hard to keep me under… I didn't KNOW it was going to make me jump your struts… and I know Ratchet is angry and you and Rung are disappointed but I'd do it again."

That drew Prowl's visor back up, flashing in alarm. His mouth hung open in a confused kind of shock. Bumblebee locked optics with him, spark trembling with nervous anxiety even as he spoke without restraint.

"It felt amazing… to FINALLY get to do something for you without feeling wrong, or afraid, or anxious. It blocked all those stupid slagging memories and just… let me be ME again, just for a little while. And I got to recharge with you in peace. That's all I wanted Prowl, and it gave me that and more and that's why I'd do it again… I know I can't unless I'm desperate, I know that stuff is addictive as slag, but Tapout knows that too and he wouldn't let me go that far. If there was another option I'd take it, but so far it's the disorientation machine or having to recharge in shifts with you... I don't regret it. ANY of it."

Prowl held his gaze, processing everything he'd said while taking in the naked sincerity on the scout's face.

In a way it was a relief… he'd been convinced Bumblebee had felt pressured to perform for him. The fact it had merely been a side-effect made the guilt he felt over how much he wanted to do it with him again ease a little. But it still bothered him that Bumblebee was willing to turn to dangerous substances rather than rely on his and Rung's support.

Prowl drew in a deep ventilation and moved to sit beside Bumblebee on the berth, and though their plating was brushing he made no other move to initiate physical contact. Their EM fields didn't immediately meld either, their edges tentative and oscillating in conflicting patterns.

"Is it honestly better to risk the possibility of debilitating addiction and the chance of faulty chips corrupting your systems? I know the current methods aren't perfect, but they're safe."

"But they're not sustainable." Bumblebee huffed, still flexing his servos restlessly. His field suggested an attempt at matching Prowl's, but it faltered and failed to find the right resonance.

"And an illicit substance is?"

Bumblebee gave him a guilty, sidelong look. "…No… but it let me do more… it stopped all the awful slag getting in the way of me just… living. It's not that the stuff makes you super aroused or anything, it's that I already wanted to do more with you, and the one thing stopping me was all the garbage clogging up my processor all the time."

The words were murmured very quietly, but Prowl caught every one of them, and felt heat rise to his faceplate. His own field carefully adjusted, trying now to match Bumblebees, but finding it fluctuated too much. He frowned slightly.

"…Something is very odd about your field… you didn't sustain more injuries than I was told about did you?"

Bumblebee shook his helm and gave a small sigh. "It's partly the strain from what I did to that one-optic'd fragger, but mostly just the effect of the recharge machine. Ratchet was… I know he didn't show how scared he was about how close I came to burning out, but… too close for comfort, that's for sure. I know it was a really bad move… but Primus almighty it felt good offloading that many volts into that slagging son-of-a-glitch."

Prowl rumbled his engine and shifted, moving so that he sat facing Bumblebee and gently took the smaller mech's faceplate in his servos.

"I'm glad you got a chance at retribution… but I need you to promise me that you will never EVER do that again."

Bumblebee's face fell, but he couldn't avert his optics this time. "How can I promise that?... I never thought I'd go near him, I didn't think I COULD… I still don't even know how I… the more I think about it, the sicker I feel. But I know, I KNOW if he ever comes near you, or Ratch, or ANY of the others… I can't help it Prowl. If I'm the only thing standing between him and the bots I care about I'm gonna do it again."

Prowl looked shocked at the quietly spoken words, the conviction in the smaller mech's optics. He leant his helm forward to touch the arrow on Bumblebee's forehead, optics offlining. In the darkness of his processor, images rose, memories that weren't his, Shockwave tearing into his form, being unable to move or fight or resist…

Bumblebee didn't pull away from the servos still holding his faceplate, optics searching the darkened visor with uncertainty. No matter what he did, he still couldn't get his field or spark to align, let alone meld with Prowl's E.M. It frustrated him that he couldn't try and reassure the other mech.

"I don't… I don't think I could do it… what you did. I don't think I could face him."

The whispered words made Bumblebee stiffen, confusion and disbelief blooming through his field.

"Are you kidding? You're stronger than me… you've always been stronger than me, you could just pick him up with your mind and smash him around-"

Prowl began to tremble, but what came from him wasn't sobs or clicks… he laughed quietly. On odd, incredulous kind of chuckle.

His optics onlined and he pulled his face away to look at Bumblebee again, meeting the scout's extremely confused optics.

"After everything… you still think I'm stronger? Bumblebee… none of us could ever be as strong as you. It's not about fighting… it was never about fighting. Your spark has taken everything… EVERYTHING that's been thrown at it and you've come within a wire of joining the well THREE times now… but still you're here, and you're telling me you'd do it again… I don't know that I wouldn't freeze on the spot at the sight of Shockwave."

Bumblebee frowned, lifting his servos to take Prowl's from where they rested either side of his jaw.

"Don't be stupid, of course you wouldn't… I know you've seen it, but you didn't… it wasn't YOU he hurt, so if I can fight him there's no way you couldn't."

Prowl shook his helm, visor dimming and turning downwards. Bumblebee was shocked to realise he was ashamed…

"I haven't… I haven't talked with you, about your memories… mostly because I didn't want to make you dwell on them, I know how that hurts you. But I… they… terrify me. I can't… I don't know how you keep yourself together so well, every single orn. It's too much for one spark to bear, when two more can't even handle it, Bumblebee I will NEVER be as strong as you. Every time I have spoken with Wheeljack about what we saw, neither of us can understand… I have tried my best not to let you see it, both of us have, but neither of us can stop ourselves breaking down if we try to come to terms with the things we saw. I'm sorry, I am so sorry to bring it up, but you NEED to know just how strong you are. You cannot keep thinking you are weak, I can't let you believe that."

Bumblebee felt Prowl's servos shaking in his own and he gripped them tighter, trying to stop his own. He felt his spark lurch, and it ached more from the fact he had been hurting Prowl and Wheeljack than because of his own experiences.

They were silent, for a while, Bumblebee leaning forward to rest his helm against Prowl's. Just talking about the memories had brought them to the surface, and he shuddered as images flashed through his mind… the disparity between spark, body and processor wasn't enough to distance him from the cold, sick feeling it caused in his tanks.

They'd seen more than he ever wanted ANYONE to see. But then, so had the entire populace of Cybertron, so far as he knew. They mattered less to him than Prowl did though. And Prowl had seen it ALL. Every torture, every violation… he'd heard every insult, every one of his screams, his pleas… he'd seen his longing for death, and here he was calling him strong.

Shockwave's taunts rose unbidden in his processor.

You finally realise, this close to your end, that no one ever wanted anything more than this from you.

Bumblebee shuddered and shook his helm. The words didn't ring true… they didn't cause self-loathing to lance through his spark like they did before… only anger and defiance.

If he was only good for that, then why was Prowl still here?

"I'm not strong, Prowl… not on my own." He murmured, Prowl's visor brightening and turning up to meet his optics. It looked like he wanted to argue, but Bumblebee squeezed his servos again and continued.

"… If you hadn't been there for me… I wouldn't be here. I'd be dead, whether Shockwave killed me, or I killed myself… I… I know you probably didn't see it, during the merges. But the first days… once or twice, I thought about how I would do it… and I never did because you were there, and I thought it wasn't fair, to do that to you when you got me out. I had to find a way to keep going and it was you. I told myself I didn't have a choice, I had to keep going because I didn't want to hurt you. Primus even when I was dying in the forest the thought of you having to carry my body back made me force my spark to hold on."

Prowl let out a shaky ventilation he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "Do you… resent us? For asking you to live with this?"

"If I did, do you think I would have tried so hard to kick Shockwave's aft? For the record, I wasn't TRYING to burn myself out shocking him. I just wanted him to feel at least some of what he did to me. I just… forgot my spark wasn't quite up to it yet."

This seemed to ease some kind of tension in Prowl's field, and he shifted physically, finally wrapping his arms around the scout. Bumblebee practically crawled into his lap to hug back, and they stayed like that for a while more before either of them spoke, Bumblebee still trying and failing to match Prowl's E.M field.

He gave up and slumped in Prowl's hold, thunking his helm against a black and gold shoulder. "Hate what this slagging machine does."

"Do you… do you think having faced Shockwave, the memories will plague you less?"

Bee shifted his helm to give Prowl a sidelong look. "I wish I could say yes… but I doubt it. Nothing is that easy for me." He sighed softly.

Prowl lifted a servo to stroke the back of his helm, Bee's engine purring softly at the familiar, calming touch.

"I know you said you didn't like making me work to keep you in recharge, but honestly P.O.M isn't exactly strenuous. I'd really, REALLY rather continue performing that than having you go on that chip again. We have no idea who makes them, what could happen if one has faulty coding-"

"Yeah but… it's not… it isn't just about you working to keep me in recharge. I want to recharge WITH you. And even though it wasn't on purpose… I totally wanna jump your struts again and I don't… think I can, without being sure the memories are blocked." Bumblebee murmured, feeling his faceplate heat.

Prowl's petting stalled on his helm, and he angled his helm to try and catch Bumblebee's optic again. "I… admit, that's not an idea I'm entirely opposed to, but at the same time, your recovery is FAR more important than either of our interface drives."

Bumblebee huffed through his vents slightly with a frown. "But that's PART of the recovery. I'm not exactly thrilled about it… I don't want to have to face the possibility of linking things they did to me with you in ANY way, especially not THAT way. But… but I still want…" he made a noise of frustration and finally met Prowl's visor, remembering what Prowl had seen through their first proper merge weeks ago that he hadn't brought up at all since then.

"I still want you to de-seal me… you remember that, right? I thought about doing it myself… I just… I can't, I don't want to mess it up and make it awful and ruin it all for myself again I just… you've made everything feel so much better but it still worries me that no matter how good you make it feel the memories won't go away."

The black and gold mech's visor dimmed in understanding. "Didn't they even give you the option of de-sealing it before it was fully installed?"

"They didn't, but that's not what I care about. The point is, the first time was bad. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Everything regarding me and interface since then has been WRONG. I had maybe one good frag, between Wasp and… and now, and that barely counted. That bot and I were plastered and they were gone before I even woke up. I just… after everything that's happened, I want to start again and I… I want it to be you." He shuttered his optics, trying to steady his spark. "But I get it… if you're not comfortable, if you don't want to… I know it's a lot of pressure… and I know that I can ask Ratchet to just remove them under EMP and we won't have to worry about it…"

His voice had trailed off into a mumble as he realised that maybe Prowl was the one not comfortable with the idea now. Even though Prowl had said yes before, maybe the other mech had changed his mind. Maybe the prospect of accidentally hurting him was too much pressure.

"Bee, I still… I don't think you understand how much of an honour it is, that you still trust me enough to ask me for that. Of course I want to give you that…" Prowl's voice was stilted, as if he was still unsure even as he said it.

"But you don't wanna hurt me. I know" Bee half sighed, onlining his optics again to look up into the blue visor. "I don't want it to turn into something bad either. And I have no idea how to make it good without… y'know… using something. I don't WANT to have to use something, but I want you bad enough to take it."

Prowl seemed slightly flustered by that, stroking a servo down Bumblebee's cheekplate. "Well, there's only one mech who can give us any sort of alternative solution to substances as a means of making it work. You might still have problems recharging, but there could be another answer in terms of making the prospect of interfacing easier?"

Bee groaned at that, thunking his helm forward onto Prowl's windscreen. "Y'know… even though I've already kinda talked to Rung about it, it doesn't make it feel any less awkward. I agreed with Wheeljack when he said bots shouldn't feel weird about discussing interface stuff, but it doesn't stop me feeling weird about discussing interface stuff."

"At least you aren't alone in that regard. We can ask him together, if it makes you feel better about it." Prowl murmured, drawing circles on the back of his helm.

Bumblebee nodded slightly. "I guess… although it might just be MORE awkward, yknow… pair of bots asking about the best way for them to frag each other without causing a load of memory glitches. 'hey doc, I really wanna bang the bolts off this other bot and you already know both of us, care to explain to me the best way I can avoid associating literally any touch against my equipment as another attempt at rape?'"

Prowl winced at that, trying again to smooth Bumblebee's EM field with his own. "Well… awkward is still better than other feelings you've endured in those sessions. Honestly, trying to sort out a way for us to… ah… 'bang bolts' without triggering memories will probably be a less strenuous task as far as they go."

Bumblebee couldn't help the snicker that bubbled up, leaning back to give Prowl a look. "Okay that turn of phrase sounds really weird coming from you."

Prowl tilted his helm slightly, visor narrowing. "What, banging bolts? Would you prefer I said shunting bumpers? Or perhaps plug and play? Tangling cables? Horizontal hardlining?-"

"PRIMUS Prowl, STOP! No! HOW do you know all those-"

"-Sliding tyres, swapping paint, tightening each other's screws-"

Bumblebee put a servo on Prowl's wickedly grinning face. "Primus where did FirstAid go I need to find out if I'm discharged yet or what-"

"That's another good one yes"

"EW PROWL NO!"

conviction began to fail him. By the end he was nervously fidgeting with his servos again, averting his optics. Part of him was sure Prowl would want to… but a louder part said he'd been stupid to ask and OF COURSE he didn't want to do that-

"You want… me? To take your seals?"

The slight breathlessness of his reply wasn't something Bumblebee had expected, and a glance back up at his faceplate told Bumblebee very little of his actual emotions either way. He squirmed slightly, faceplate heating again. "You don't have to, I just… I thought about it, for a long time. And in the end I realised you're the bot I trust the most. Even before I realised I really liked you, I wondered if you might… but you don't have to, if it's not-"

"Bumblebee I would be honoured."

Bee stared at him for all of five astroseconds before he threw his arms around the other bot's shoulders and kissed him hard. Prowl made a slight noise of surprise before he kissed back.

The black and gold mech broke the kiss fairly quickly with a slightly dubious look at the scout. "You, ah… you're not thinking right now, surely?"

Bumblebee snorted, "PRIMUS no. Even if I thought I was ready for that, bots keep popping in and out of this room, I'm not taking that kind of a chance. Speaking of this room, I wouldn't mind getting OUT of it, but I have no idea if I'm discharged or what." (Figure out how to rectify this mistake when you're more coherent I guess TuT)

"I can check with First Aid if you'd like? Even if you are I'm assuming there will be restrictions to that… though I do still want to take you to the dojo. I never got to show you the thing I meant to."

Bumblebee canted his helm curiously at that. "Ooooh yeeeeah… you're being kinda cagey about that, not gonna tell me what it is? Not even a hint?"

Prowl shook his helm, but his expression was a little more serious than the scout expected. "I want to be careful speaking about it. It's better I show you than tell you." (figure out if you need to move this or use it or what?)

It turned out Bumblebee wasn't allowed to leave for another day cycle. Partly because First Aid wanted to keep him under observation to make sure his spark recovered properly, and partly because they might not make it out through the media scrum still camping outside the hospital at all entrances and exits.

Prowl was fairly certain that when it came time to leave, he could get them both out under cover of his holo-projector. But it WAS taking a long time for Bumblebee's spark to resync, and he was glad Prowl remained to distract him from the unnerving sensation.

It also helped that he had more visitors… though he didn't feel the glare Prowl levelled at Tap Out was fully deserved.

"I uuuh… I came to make sure you were doing okay after that fight. To be honest I feel pretty damn guilty about it." He murmured, rubbing the back of his neck and throwing unsure glances at Prowl, not moving further than just inside of the door.

Bumblebee canted his helm at him and frowned. "You don't need to feel guilty about the chip, it was MY choice to take it, and it didn't MAKE me fight Shockwave-"

"Oh, no, I wasn't talking about the chip… I mean, I SHOULD have tipped you to take it out as soon as you woke up. But that's not why I felt guilty, it was that dummy… I mean we gave you his face to beat up and then you went and beat up the real deal and I thought maybe we pushed it too soon and… I mean… I can't exactly say you weren't ready for that fight. But, y'know… I feel like we emboldened you a little too much."

The scout bit at his lip and couldn't help the snort and giggle that left him. It only served to make Prowl and Tap Out both give him odd looks.

"Sorry, sorry, it's… Tap Out, that Dummy had barely ANYTHING to do with me fighting him. Even if you hadn't made it for me, and I appreciate that you did by the way 'cause slagging it up made me feel better… I woulda gone either way. Ratchet was in danger and he was alone. I was the only backup around that knew what he was up against."

Tap Out looked rather shocked by that statement. "…Oh. So… you just… Primus almighty, you have bigger ball bearings than an Omega Sentinel."

It was Bumblebee's turn to give the odd look now. "Have you SEEN Omega? I'm smaller than all of his ball bearings."

There was a few moments of silence before both Tap Out and Prowl burst out laughing.

Bumblebee sat on the berth giving them both bemused looks. "What? It's true, Bulkhead and I had to do maintenance on them when he was our ship. I mean we had no idea he was a Sentinel at that point, but still."

"Kid I don't doubt you for a second. What I'm saying is, I admire your bald-tyred tenacity in fighting that bot after everything he did to ya. Especially this soon in your recovery, but if you did it to save a team-mate, it… well, makes a lot of sense considering who you are and what you're famous for. Which, uh, by the way… you've been told not to turn the vid-feeds on right? They keep replaying that fight non-stop."

Bee groaned and flopped onto his back on the berth. "I knoooow. I can't even use boring Cybertronian TV as a distraction 'cause of that. Jazz dropped by for a breem a while ago and mentioned they want to make some kind of training vid compilation at the academy using that footage and the stuff from earth. I haven't watched either and I don't know if I ever will."

Tap Out moved into the room properly, still glancing at Prowl as if worried he would pounce. He sat in a chair on the other side of the berth. "Y'know… I think you probably should. Maybe not right away… but at some point. I mean, I got given a brief run-down of your captivity related injuries from Rung. That glitch you got, the one that kept you from entering stasis? I got that one too. I know what causes it."

Bumblebee looked at him up-side down from where he lay across the berth, expression sobering. "…You had to know too, huh?"

"Everything they did… yes. And in the end… even though the memories still come back sometimes… it was easier for me to find closure. Because I knew exactly how much I'd been through. There were no mysteries, no blank spots for my mind to fill with horrific possibilities… I knew exactly how much pain was inflicted, and how. You're the same… you know everything that was done to you because you couldn't stand the thought of not knowing, and I can tell you now you're not gonna get closure if you don't see those recordings, but for a different reason. I don't think you need to watch them to come to terms with what happened… I think you need to see yourself the way everyone else does."

Tap Out's voice was soft, and heavily laced with understanding. Bumblebee drew in a long cycle of air and mulled the advice over.

"You're probably right… I don't know, maybe… maybe it'll help with the memory purges too?"

"Possibly. Everyone heals differently. Things that worked for me might not work the same for you, but I still think you should at least try and watch them when you're ready. Just the stuff where you fought them though… not the other stuff. That's… yeah, no, don't watch the other stuff."

"Once was enough" Bee murmured, sitting up and finding Prowl had moved to sit beside him. He certainly appreciated the soothing field wrapping around his own, even if he still couldn't quite sync with it.

"So, this is Yoketron's last student huh? Heard you've been spending a lot of time over at the Dojo. Hope it's looking alright, me and Warpath and a couple of the others fixed it up after he was… after he went to the well. I see you've reclaimed the Master's old helmet, Warpath mentioned you had quite a story to go with that." Tap Out gave Prowl a friendly nod, clearly trying to make reparations.

Prowl fixed him with a stern look. "Certainly, I will tell you. But first, I need you to promise me something."

"Oh?" Tap Out tried not to look as worried as he felt about the request. Prowl's visor narrowed slightly.

"Promise you won't supply Bumblebee with any more of those euphoria chips"

Bumblebee smacked the ninja-bot on the shoulder and frowned at him "Hey! You can't do that! Tap Out don't promise him a slagging thing, if he won't tell you the story I will-"

"They're narcotics Bumblebee, we've been over this, you don't NEED-"

"You tell me that to my face when I go half-crazy from lack of recharge again, last time I slaggin' well socked Sentinel in the face-"

"You socked Sentinel Prime in the face?" Tap Out barked out an incredulous laugh.

"Slag YEAH I did, and it felt pretty damn good too."

"Well now you got TWO stories to tell me"

"Hey, Prowl…"

The Black and gold bot looked up as Bumblebee came out into the hallway after his last checkup before he was finally discharged.

"What WAS it you wanted to show me at the Dojo? Y'know, before everything else… happened."

Prowl looked about the hall as Bumblebee drew level, his expression a little more serious than the scout expected. "I want to be careful speaking about it. It's better I show you than tell you."

Bee's orbital ridges rose, but he nodded. Now he was actually intrigued. What could he have found that made him that cagey to talk about in public?

He shrugged it off for the moment, distracted by being led to the nurses station so they could sort out his new check-up and recharge schedule before they were taken by Wheeljack to visit his labs.

"Your labs were right here the WHOLE time? Why didn't First Aid tell me, I could have walked over here CYCLES ago." Bumblebee huffed, still slightly perturbed by his reprogrammed paint colour.

Just to be extra careful that newsbots didn't recognise him, Wheeljack had changed Bumblebee's chameleon paint to a solid baby blue. No markings or fake insignia, but the colour kept making him do a double take at his own plating. He really didn't feel like blue was his colour. Maybe as an accent, but not all over, and not pastel.

It did the trick though, none of the newsbots gave him a second glance, instead harassing elite guards who were stationed at various points, presumably for security in case Shockwave returned.

Bee knew he wouldn't, he had no reason to. He'd gotten what he wanted, and probably taken off with Megatron (they could only speculate that the warlord had somehow managed to gain control of Omega and warped to Cybertron deliberately). Where they were now was anyone's guess.

All the same, guards were stationed at the hospital, all too distracted to pay the three of them any more attention than the newsbots. The engineer led the way across a courtyard to a building behind the hospital, which apparently housed his and Perceptor's main workshop.

"Couldn't have let you in anyway. Been working on a critical patient, but the worst of it is done now. He'll make a full recovery, I don't really wanna talk about the details 'til we're inside though." Wheeljack murmured, pulling out a pass card as they reached a pair of double doors.

The building smelt strongly of cleaning fluid and charred circuitry, and Bumblebee pulled a face. "What do you usually do in here, it smells like someone dumped a bottle of stain-be-gone on an exploded computer bank"

The engineer chuckled, leading them down a broad, well-lit hallway. "I do a lot of experimental work. Often it's with combustible stuff, and when stuff combusts I need a lot of the hard stuff to strip away the burn marks. From everything, including me sometimes."

"OFTEN times" Came a familiar mechanical voice from a room up ahead.

"Hey Perceptor." Bumblebee called with a grin. When they rounded the corner, they found the Scientist with his back to them, bent over a prone blue and black form on a… Bee wouldn't call it a medberth, since it looked more like some kind of specimen slab. He guessed it was a surgical berth of some sort, and wondered briefly if they should really be intruding on some random bot's medical procedure.

Perceptor turned, both optics covered in magnifying reticules that made him look ridiculous. When he transformed them out of the way, he blinked owlishly at the scout. "I'm going to assume that is you, Bumblebee?"

"Wha- OH, right, the paint. Yeah it's me." Bumblebee fiddled with his helm and switched the button, toggling back to his regular colour. "If you're busy, we can leave for a while-"

"Why would you need to leave, I just brought you here. Besides, you know this bot… I think? I'm sure I read a log somewhere that you worked with him briefly on earth." Wheeljack rubbed at his face-mask, looking a little confused.

Bumblebee did a double take when Perceptor moved to wipe his servos on a clean cloth, no longer impeding his view of the bot on the berth.

"SPEEDY?"

"I've uh… never heard him use THAT code name, but that sounds like him. Cliffjumper had to pull up all the material Shockwave put in for incineration after that fragger finally got outed. It all came to us for investigation… just as well, since Agent Blurr was barely alive by that point. He'd been compacted into a cube, but his spark casing and processor were both amazingly intact. And because he didn't lose any proto-mass, we just had to find a means to split armour from proto-metal and keep him alive while we re-triggered proto-formation into a new set of his armour."

"You say that as if the procedure wasn't ground breaking and didn't take us 3 days straight to successfully complete" Perceptor deadpanned.

Wheeljack rubbed the back of his helm, "I mean, I didn't wanna BRAG or anything." He wandered over to the monitor bank Blurr was hooked up to, the bot still unconscious. "Is he ready to be onlined yet 'Perce?"

"Should be. Just check that his processor is done integrating with the new armour first."

Bumblebee wandered a little closer, but kept a respectable distance, blinking at the shiny new plating and feeling like this bot was from a whole other lifetime that wasn't quite his.

"Did you guys talk with Ratchet about this? I feel like he'd have been impressed."

"Yeah, we did. He was. Mostly he was just glad we managed to save him, aaand you might wanna back up juuuust in case Blurr's memory banks start up where they left off. I imagine he was in something of a panic before he got cubed." Wheeljack murmured, poking a few buttons on the console to wake the speedster up.

There was a soft whirring sound as the mech's systems booted, and after a few astroseconds, pale blue optics slowly lit up, blinking at the ceiling.

Just when Bumblebee thought perhaps Blurr wasn't picking up where he'd left off, the mech sat bolt upright and started running his mouth frantically.

"IT'S-SHOCKWAVE-HE'S THE DECEPTICON-SPY-WE-HAVE-TO-TELL-THE-MAGNUS-WE-HAVE-TO-ARREST-HIM-BEFORE-HE-GETS-IN-CONTACT-WITH-MEGATRON-AND-THEY-TRY-TO-TAKE-OVER-AUTOBOT-COMMAD-FROM-THE-INSIDE-THEY-HAVE-A-SPACEBRIDGE-I-CAME-THROUGH-IT-AND-THERE-WERE-STARSCREAM-CLONES-AND-I-GOT-HERE-AS-FAST-AS-I-COULD-BUT-WHEN-I-REACHED-THE-SPACEBRIDGE-NEXUS-SHOCKWAVE-WAS-THERE-WAITING-BUT-HE-WAS-LONGARM-AND-WE-REALLY-NEED-TO-"

"BLURR!"

The light blue mech's helm whipped around to stare at Wheeljack before his whole frame wavered and he flopped onto his back again with a groan.

"Where-am-I-why-am-I-so-dizzy-was-it-something-Shockwave-did-to-me-the-last-thing-I-remember-I-was… I… was…"

The pale optics got paler, and wider, as his memory banks seemed to properly catch up with his current position. He looked down at himself and then back up at Wheeljack.

"Why-aren't-I… how-did-I… I-thought-he'd-crushed-me?"

"Eeeeasy Blurr. He DID crush you. You were cubed and thrown in the trash, but Shockwave got found out before you were lost for good. We found you and went about reformatting your protoform, all your armour is new but your spark and brain module were totally intact. If not, y'know, a bit scrambled by the ordeal."

Blurr blinked up at Wheeljack as he explained, a little colour returning to his optics. "So-they-caught-him? How-did-they-find-out-when-I-was-cubed-did-autobot-command-manage-to-get-onto-the-earth-team-did-they-destroy-the-spacebridge?"

"It's a long story Blurr." Bumblebee couldn't help the slight grin that pulled at his mouth. Blurr was nothing but serious, but he still found the speed he spoke at comical. Well, when he could keep up with it at least. He got the gist of it.

The Blue mech looked over at him with wide, confused optics. "Second-class-technician-Bumblebee? What-are-you-doing-here-I-assumed-you-would-remain-on-earth…unless-you-came-through-the-spacebridge-as-well-to-deliver-the-information-I-failed-to-relate-in-time-to-Autobot-command?"

Bumblebee blinked at the use of his technical title. It hadn't exactly changed, not officially anyway, on his record he WAS still just a second class spacebridge technician, not that he'd performed anything like that role for a long time.

"Uuh… like I said, long story"

"It just so happens I have a report for you to download that should clarify everything you missed!" Wheeljack said brightly, helm panels flashing yellow as he handed over a data-chip. Blurr took it tentatively and slid it into an arm port.

Several different expressions crossed the speedster's face in the span of about three astroseconds. Then he removed the data chip and stared at Bumblebee, who was somewhat unnerved by the look. Apparently Blurr processed information about as fast as he processed his words. He was sure there had been a sizeable amount of information on that chip, and it suddenly occurred to him that since Blurr was a high level intelligence agent, he'd probably been given full disclosure of everything that had transpired on earth since his cubing.

It certainly explained the intense, searching look he was still getting. He fidgeted with his servos and glanced at Prowl as he came to stand at his shoulder. Blurr slowly sat up and drew his legs over the edge of the berth, sliding off it tentatively and finding his balance had stabilised. He then walked the two paces between himself and the yellow mech and held his servo out to him.

Slightly bemused, Bumblebee took it, even more confused by the handshake and searching Blurr's face for some sign of what he was thinking.

"It's-an-honour-to-have-worked-with-you. I-apologise-for-how-short-I-was-with-you-the-first-time-we-officially-met-and-I-hope-you-end-up-joining-the-elite-guard-because-I-think-you're-the-kind-of-bot-we-need-right-now."

The scout blinked and reset his vocaliser as Blurr released his servo, still gazing at him intently. "Um… thanks. I might, but… Need to pass all my assessments first. And they might need me back on Earth before then, y'know?"

The speedster's expression only sobered further. "That-is-extremely-likely-and-I-do-not-think-I-will-be-able-to-return-there-to-help-given-the-current-circumstances."

"Yeah, probably not. Shame… would have been nice to race you properly, but I don't think you'll get much of a break for a while. You're pretty high ranked yeah?"

"I'm-Cybertron's-top-field-agent-and-have-the-highest-clearance-level-beneath-the-head-of-Intel-so-that's-a-fair-assessment-yes. Why?"

"Well, I mean… doesn't that make you the new head of Autobot intel?"

Blurr opened his mouth, paused, then shut it again. After a few moments of blank staring he turned to look at Perceptor. "Agent-Cliffjumper-is-currently-the-acting-head-of-intel-but-considering-I-outrank-him-and-I-am-no-longer-offline… DOES-that-make-me-defacto-head-of-intel?"

Perceptor adjusted the half-visor on his nasal ridge and nodded. "Yes, we have already informed Cliffjumper that once you have been cleared fit for duty you will be sworn into the position and your rank changed to Prime."

"Nice. Blurr Prime." Bumblebee nodded.

Blurr looked somewhat overwhelmed by the thought and ended up moving back to the berth and sitting down. "I-think-I-may-need-a-little-more-recovery-time-and-WAY-more-information-to-catch-up-before-that-happens."

Bumblebee walked into the quiet, dimly lit building with a sense of… displacement was the only word that came to mind. The place was large, but there was a stifling quality about it, as if any misstep by him was an offense to the place. Any noise he made too loud for the building so sacred in Prowl's memories.

Prowl of course, walked in as if he was coming home, not an ounce of unease in his frame. He seemed to pick up on Bumblebee's discomfort and turned to look at him curiously. "You don't need to be anxious. No one is going to kick you out, you're here as my guest."

"I know, it's just… I feel like I'm not supposed to be in here anyway, I'm not the kind of bot who's' supposed to be in here, y'know? This is where disciplined bots come, bots who are all spiritual and stuff. I'm not really either of those things, I feel like I'm intruding or something." He frowned, rubbing the back of his helm and shuffling into the centre of the room to stand by Prowl.

The ninja-bot's expression was kind, even a little amused. "You think I was either of those things when Warpath dragged me here? I can assure you I was worse than you where discipline was concerned."

"I can vouch for that" A gravelly voice called from a hallway that led deeper into the dojo. A large red tank-former strolled out, expression hard to read but field projecting a greeting. The moment he spotted Bumblebee behind the black and gold mech, his optics widened slightly. "Ah, you brought him along finally. Honour to meet you Bumblebee, I'm Warpath. The one who dragged this beatnik's overly-polished aft in here the first time."

The huge bot's optics locked onto his, intense but not unkind, and he held a servo out to Bumblebee. The scout felt kind of ridiculous when he shook it, his own servo dwarfed in the large red palms.

"So uh… how DID you catch him? He can be pretty slippery when he wants to be."

"Wasn't easy, but I had the advantage of training over him back then. Don't think I could manage it now, I'm too old, and he's got jump jets." The rust-coloured mech chuckled.

"I'd have to dodge you, I don't think my melee ever matched yours. You'd only need to land one hit and I wouldn't be jump-jetting anywhere for some time." Prowl grinned.

"True, I've still got one up on you there. Anyway, good to catch you both, but I'm actually on my way out. Have to see Flareup off, she's got a new assignment off-planet."

The tank made a gracious exit, leaving the two of them alone. Bumblebee at least felt a little less out of place given how friendly the other ninja-bot had been.

"So… you gonna show me the thing you wanted me out here to see in the first place?"

Prowl nodded, still grinning, and motioned for Bumblebee to follow him deeper into the dojo. The quiet corridors were spotless and orderly, lined here and there with a storage cabinet or decorative antique-style weapon mounted on the wall.

He would have thought they were real, but assumed that when Lockdown raided the place he'd have taken anything of value he thought he could sell. The thought was sobering, and he tried not to think too much about the bounty hunter. There was still a lot of bitterness around him sitting in his spark.

Eventually they came to what he guessed was the heart of the dojo, a round room lined with plinths atop which holo-projectors showed the faces of former students. He assumed they must have been important… maybe the best of them all. He was slightly offended when he noted Prowl's face was missing when he'd spotted Jazz's, but then again he probably WOULD be in here if Yoketron had been able to finish training him.

"So, this is it huh? Looks pretty cool."

"Oh, no, this isn't it. This is just the entrance."

Bumblebee gave Prowl a slightly confused look. He couldn't see any doors in this room… entrance to what? Prowl turned to him consideringly, as if wondering what to say to answer his questioning gaze. It was clear Bumblebee wasn't making the connection between the memories he'd shown him of Yoketron's death and the room they were in. Though to be fair, the room details had not been the focus in that recall.

"How much do you know about the purpose of this place? Of the ninja corps?"

"Uh… not a lot? I thought you were basically an alternative branch of the Elite Guard, just bots preserving older fighting styles or something. I mean I know it's more than that, there was more there when we merged but I didn't really understand it… you protected protoforms or something?"

"You're not far off, but that's not quite it. First and foremost, this place has always been a temple. It became a dojo when the monks here realised they needed to be able to defend the sacred space it housed. That sacred space is the protoform well, and those first monks created the martial artforms that were taught here for generations. One of the interesting things about those monks is that they had already mastered processor over matter long before they created fighting forms that used the same energies."

Bumblebee tilted his helm slightly, surprised that Prowl hadn't shared any of this through their merges before. "So… the ninja corps' job has always been to protect protoforms, before anything else?"

Prowl nodded. "That's why Yoketron was so upset with me when I used one to try and revive him. They are precious, more precious than almost anything else on Cybertron. They are our future, whether sparked by the all-spark, or receiving a carrier's sparkling, without them we will cease to exist."

"So… Lockdown stealing them was a pretty huge deal then huh? And slagging Starscream has been wasting them making clones." Bumblebee frowned at that, the pieces coming together, "And without the protoforms here… you had no real reason to stay and take over for Yoketron?"

"Not at the time, no."

Bumblebee noted that Prowl had a less than bereft look on his face… in fact he seemed to be trying not to smile. The scout gave him a suspicious glare. "What exactly am I here to see again?"

"Well, like I said, the monks knew processor over matter before anything else. The day Yoketron sent me on my optics quest was the first time he ever showed me how to use it to open the protoform well. It's the ONLY method of entering, which is why they were kept safe here."

Prowl turned and faced a blank wall with a decorative orb at its centre. He took up a very specific stance and began to hum, moving through a kata as he did. Bumblebee didn't usually see him using the two techniques together, and he wasn't sure what the point was until suddenly the walls around the orb began receding, the orb rising into a recess in the ceiling.

Before he knew it, there was a doorway before them that led into a huge, round room. Prowl glanced back at him, no longer hiding his grin, and beckoned him to follow.

As they entered the room, he realised the floor was actually a gangway, suspended over a cylindrical pit that led down further than he could really see. Pods lined the walls, all of them empty, and he wondered what it had looked like when it had been filled with protoforms. That many potential new cybertronians was pretty awe inspiring, and he wondered if his own protoform had been here before his sparking.

"Is this really the ONLY place protoforms are kept on the whole planet?"

"No, but it is where they come after they are seeded in Cybertron's living metal. They are placed in these pods to grow and mature, before that they are small and less defined. The energy in this spot is very particular, nowhere else is more conducive to developing new protoforms." Prowl explained as he let Bumblebee take in the sight and importance of the place. He soon beckoned him over to the ladder that led down.

Bumblebee's mind was going a million mechanometers a klik, trying to take it all in. Wondering why Prowl had brought him to see this place that still held such sad memories for him. A thought occurred that made him frown as he followed the ninja bot downwards.

"If you can only get in here using processor over matter, how DID Lockdown get in?"

"I wondered that myself, after the event. I know Yoketron would never have caved to their demands and done it for them. I have to assume Lockdown was not working alone, or he would not have been able to overwhelm him either. Likely he had a cyber-ninja accomplice among whatever troupe he brought, or he managed to crack the seal himself and then forced the door the rest of the way with help from a larger bot. I'm inclined to believe the latter is the case, Lockdown may have voiced his disdain for P.O.M, but he was Yoketron's student before me, so he had to have known the basic technique."

It took them a little while to reach the bottom, and when they did, Bumblebee only grew more confused. There was nothing down here. Just more empty pods and barely any light. Most of it was just the soft blue glow from the inactive pods.

He looked back at Prowl, who was smiling again. "It's been a very, very long time since anyone came down here. I'd wager no one has bothered since the initial sweep to check how many protoforms were left from the raid."

"How many WERE left?" Bumblebee asked curiously, still glancing around wondering if there was some small detail Prowl was waiting for him to notice.

"Twelve. Well, Eleven after Yoketron passed from the one I'd placed him in. This place was deemed no longer safe enough for them, they were transferred to Fortress Maximus I believe, I don't know what became of them after that. They may still be there."

Bumblebee turned suspicious optics on him again. The black and gold's expression was still serenely happy, but he was hiding something. "Prowl, are you going to tell me why we're here or not?"

"No"

Bumblebee threw his servos up. "Okay, well… is this some kind of ninja style punishment for me risking my life again because that's not really fair-"

"I'm not going to TELL you, because I'm going to SHOW you."

Bumblebee's diatribe stopped short with a soft 'oh', arms falling back to his sides. He watched as Prowl turned his back on him and sat in a lotus position. He began to hum, and Bumblebee kept still, attempting to feel whatever it was Prowl was attempting to tune into.

He wasn't nearly experienced enough to have a hope of detecting the cavity, but he certainly noticed when the pod directly in front of Prowl opened. Not only did the cover swing open, but the inside seemed to expand somehow. Pretty soon, the back of it had receded and disappeared, leaving a doorway-like hole. It was dark inside, and Bumblebee couldn't make anything out.

Prowl stopped humming and stood, turning to him again and gesturing for him to enter the darkness. His smile faltered slightly when he caught sight of Bumblebee's face. It took him a nanoklik to realise how unlikely it was that the scout wanted anything to do with small doorways leading into pitch-black rooms. Memories flashed through his mind before he supressed them and bowed his helm in apology.

"Sorry… it's safe though, let me show you."

He stepped forward into the pod. The moment he crossed the threshold, lights began to ignite inside. Rows and rows of blue and white, stretching into the distance.

Intrigued, Bumblebee followed, gasping when he realised what he was looking at.

"There's more?"

Prowl was beaming now, nodding and looking down the seemingly endless corridor. There was clearly still a sense of disbelief for him too.

"I found them while meditating. Something… I'm not entirely sure what, but something drew me back down here. I had felt it the first time I came to meditate, something beneath the dojo I'd never sensed before. When I got closer it was easier to feel for."

Bumblebee walked over to a pod and tentatively put a servo on it. "Oh, it's warm… you think these have been here the whole time?"

"Yes, I do. Jazz has told me a lot of things Yoketron never mentioned… he never spoke of anything like this, but he did say to me that he was sure I was being groomed to take over as the guardian. I didn't believe it, at first… but the further I've come with processor over matter, the more it seemed to make sense. I was always intended to be his last student, and I never knew when he was teaching me."

"What? I thought he just… did that stuff, yknow, took in the problem bots that showed promise and turned them good or something." Bumblebee turned back to him, still gazing around at the pods reverently.

"So did I. He never mentioned that he'd retired from teaching before he took me in. To be honest it was probably better he didn't, primus only knows I didn't need that kind of ego trip. It took him a while to beat the cockiness out of me."

"Not sure he got it all" the scout snickered with a cheeky grin.

Prowl chuckled, "No, I don't think he did… but I do think he never intended to tell me about this place. I don't think he told anyone. He was the kind of teacher who wanted you to come to conclusions and answers on your own."

"Do you think that was the point of your optics quest? Getting good enough at P.O.M to come back and find this room?"

Prowl gave a non-committal hum before answering, the look on his visor distant. "I think it was probably part of it… but there was more than that. He knew I wouldn't just magically get better at it without motivation."

They were quiet for a moment, not looking at one another. So many questions swam through Bumblebee's processor, but the one that sat heaviest was the hardest to ask. Prowl had to have a reason for showing him this. He hoped it wasn't what he thought.

"Who else knows about this place?"

"Other than you and I, at the moment… no one that I'm aware of. And if they know, they've said nothing, and I don't think either of us should."

"Not even Prime and the others?" the scout was genuinely surprised. Not just that he wanted it to remain secret, but that he'd showed him before anyone else.

"Jazz is the only one I'm planning on telling besides you. If Yoketron didn't show me, then he wanted it to be kept between as few bots as possible, and that's for the best. If he hadn't, I doubt Lockdown would have left it alone."

Given that explanation, Bumblebee couldn't really argue the logic… but it still left the most important question. "Did you…. Are you showing me this to tell me you want to stay here as the new guardian?"

Prowl's visor fixed on him, overbright with surprise. "No, that's not at all what I… I don't want to stay here, as much as I miss it… I don't think that's what Yoketron would have wanted of me either. This place doesn't need a guardian, not beyond the old students who visit and keep it clean. It's done just fine without one, it's probably SAFER if no one thinks something is being guarded here."

Prowl ushered him out of the tunnel and back into the main chamber, turning to carefully close the door behind him. Bumblebee watched with tangible relief, feeling almost light-headed from it. Why the slag was that answer making him feel so… oh. Right. He loved Prowl, of course the idea of him leaving was alarming.

But it was more than that, more than relief, it was… he couldn't even identify it, but Prowl had trusted him enough to show him this first. It made his spark swell, being trusted by him like that when he'd never even have dreamt of it before.

"I may as well show you my old room while we're here. It's the same as it always was, no one's had any other use for it."

Bumblebee nodded deftly, trying to control his flaring E.M field and hoping Prowl was writing it off as continued effects of the sleep machine rather than him being unable to control his emotions. He followed deftly up the ladder, not noticing much around him as they went, barely retaining anything Prowl told him about the building as they walked through it.

When they reached Prowl's room, he was unsurprised at how bare it was. Prowl moved past him and sat on the plain, low berth. "Is something wrong? You seem very distant."

"No, not wrong, I just…" Bumblebee shifted his weight, unsure how to voice his feelings, "You said Yoketron thought you needed the right motivation to get better at P.O.M… do you think he knew things would turn out the way they did? That you'd learn through having to help someone? Help me?"

Prowl gave him a curious smile, tilting his helm. "He wasn't a mystic Bumblebee, I really don't think he had any kind of future sight. Plenty of experience, certainly, but not a direct vision into the future. That does… bring up something I've been thinking about though. About you, and my optics quest."

Bumblebee gave him a slightly wary look, "Oh? You're not going to pass the quest onto ME or something are you? 'Cause there's no WAY I'm ever going to get good at P.O.M, trust me, I tried-"

Prowl chuckled, shaking his helm and beckoning him over the berth, the scout moving to sit by him. Prowl laid a servo over his, visor still a little over-bright. "No, I don't expect you to learn that. But I realised that without you… I never would have either. It's not just about motivation… it's everything. You've changed everything in me. I realised when I meditated on it that my optics quest was about opening my mind and realising my own true nature… and the only way I did that was by realising yours. You forced me to take a long, hard look at myself and how I've judged those around me, how I treat others… especially how I've treated you in reaction to seeing myself in you. Processor over matter is just a secondary skill that comes from being properly in tune with yourself and those around you."

Bumblebee was very still as he listened, unable to tear his gaze from Prowl's, feeling his spark spin too fast, his thoughts stalling. "So… wait, but… no, you would have managed all that without me, that can't be it… why would he set you a quest where you had to deal with someone with all the baggage I've got just to become a proper cyber-ninja?"

"I'm not sure I'm explaining it properly… I don't think he intended for it to be that specific. It was a nebulous task, he wanted me to become fully self-aware. It just happens to be that I did that with your help. It may well have happened, given enough time together, without you having to endure the things you did, but as it stands… this is just how it came about. By chance. That's why he couldn't tell me what the quest involved, because it could be achieved in so many different ways. But I have no doubt, it would have taken me so much longer without you."

Bumblebee shifted a little, still uncertain. "Still think you coulda managed it without me."

"Well, we'll never know, because that's how it came about." Prowl smiled kindly, servo stroking over his. "What you did the other day only proved to me how important you are to me… I realised no matter how far the two of us have come, I have to accept that I cannot control everything. Especially you, and I shouldn't try to. No matter how much I worry when I'm not around you, you're more than capable of fighting your own battles… even if you do give me a spark attack when you do it."

The sincerity in Prowl's voice seemed to hit something in Bumblebee, and his spark spun so fast it made him slightly dizzy. His mouth worked without his processor's consent.

"Y'know if you don't wanna worry about me so much we could always just bond."

Prowl's visor flashed, and the servo stroking his stopped suddenly. Prowl didn't move, and it took the scout a moment to register what he'd just said, his own optics going wide and over-bright.

Stunned silence stretched between them before Prowl refreshed his visor, breaking Bumblebee out of his mute shock.

"Or not, y'know, it's probably not a great idea since I've nearly died so many times and I mean I don't know that we've really known each other long enough it's way too fast to be doing that now-"

"I would like that."

Bumblebee's ramble stopped abruptly at the quietly uttered words, and he refreshed his own optics. "W-what?"

"I would like that… bonding with you." Prowl repeated a little louder, looking less stunned and more enthusiastic. "But you would have to promise me that if we do, you'll stop picking fights that are suicidal."

The scout gave him an absolutely flabbergasted look. The LAST thing he'd planned to do was accidentally propose to Prowl… for starters he'd much rather have planned and executed it much more smoothly. As it was, he still couldn't believe Prowl was saying yes.

"But… I mean I said it to Sari myself, bots need to know each other a pretty long time before they even consider a bond." His faceplate was flushed with heat, spark still spinning wildly. Even as he protested, something in him was bubbling with joy at Prowl's enthusiasm.

Prowl shrugged slightly. "Well, technically, we HAVE known each other quite a while now. Not being involved with one another for most of it doesn't take away the experiences we've had together. Actually, it's better that we know we can tolerate each other enough after all that to even consider bonding."

Bumblebee snickered at that. "Heh, yeah… that's a good point… so the only thing stopping us is uuh…"

"Nothing but your word to promise you'll try not to die."

Bumblebee grinned, leaning towards Prowl as the black and gold mech inclined his head closer.

"I think I can manage that… but I do have ONE condition of my own".

Prowl stopped short of their lip-plates meeting, tilting his helm curiously. "Oh? And what would that be?"

Bumblebee's face split into a cheeky grin. "You gotta take my seals first. Can't bond to a bot if I don't even know how good they are with my equipment yet, can I?"

The black and gold mech's forehead thunked lightly into his as Prowl laughed. "Oh, so my demonstrations in every other aspect were not sufficient proof?"

"Nope, I can't in good conscience bond to a bot I've never even fragged properly yet. Gotta do it right, get all the fun stuff out of the way before we get down to the serious part." Bumblebee angled his helm to peck Prowl's lip-plates, still grinning.

He practically climbed into Prowl's lap when the ninja bot pulled him in closer and kissed him properly. When they pulled apart, both their fans were already humming.

"You do know it takes at least four or five merges in succession to fully bond? We can technically do it all at the same time." Prowl practically purred, the scout shivering in his arms in anticipation, engine revving.

"Works for me, you know I'm good at multi-tasking."